Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 5, Episode 14 - Say Something - full transcript

GET AWAY FROM ME, CHRISTOPHER.

I JUST WANNA TALK.

GET SOME COFFEE, CHRISTOPHER!

THIS WASN'T THE WAY I
WANTED IT TO GO DOWN.

I WANTED TO GET YOU ALONE...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M GOING AFTER LUKE.

OH, THERE YOU ARE! I'VE GOT HER!

[people chattering]

YOU CANNOT KEEP A
ROOMFUL OF ANGLO-SAXONS

WAITING FOR CAKE THIS LONG.

THEY START TO FORM MORE CLUBS.

TAKE HER. TAKE HER. TAKE HER.

ALL RIGHT. WONDERFUL.
THERE WE ARE.

(photographer) OK, EVERYONE
IN JUST A LITTLE CLOSER.

THAT'S PERFECT. HOLD THAT.

YOU AND ME, WE'RE DONE.

1, 2, 3.

[people chattering]

ARE YOU LEAVING?

PARTY'S OVER. IT IS SO OVER.

ARE YOU OK?

YEAH, I'M FINE. IT'S
JUST TIME TO GO.

ARE WE OK?

I MEAN, THAT WASN'T EXACTLY
MY PROUDEST MOMENT.

OH, HONEY, YOU'RE THE
DAUGHTER OF A WOMAN

WHO HAS HAD NO END OF
LESS-THAN-PROUD MOMENTS.

DON'T WORRY. LUKE WAS SO MAD.

THAT'S BECAUSE, TO LUKE,
YOU'RE STILL 10 YEARS OLD

WEARING FEATHERED ANGEL'S
WINGS GOING DOOR TO DOOR

INVITING PEOPLE TO A
CATERPILLAR'S FUNERAL.

I DID THAT ONCE. LUKE IS FINE.

I HOPE SO.

LOOK, GO BACK IN.
CATCH UP WITH LOGAN.

TELL HIM EVERYTHING IS FINE.

HE WENT RIGHT TO
HIS CAR AND SPLIT.

I DON'T BLAME THE BOY.

WHAT'S WITH YOU AND GRANDMA?

ALL THESE QUESTIONS.

SORRY.

LOOK, GO BACK IN. MAKE
THE BEST OF THINGS.

LUKE IS JUST, UH,
BRINGING THE CAR AROUND.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

ARE YOU SURE WE'RE GOOD?

ALWAYS.

OK. BYE, MOM.

BYE, MISTER.

OH, EXCUSE ME. I'M GONNA
NEED A CAB, PLEASE. YES, MA'AM.

THERE YOU ARE. I'D LOVE
TO GET A FEW MORE SHOTS IN.

YEAH, SO WOULD I.

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

♪ [music playing
loudly on radio]

♪ [music playing softly]

[door bell jingling]

HI.

I WAS JUST ON MY BREAK.

THAT'S NO PROBLEM. CAESAR...

I CLOCKED OUT, TOO, SO, IT
SHOULD SAY SO ON MY TIME CARD.

RIGHT. ALTHOUGH THE INK
IS KIND OF WEAK AND FADED,

SO IT'S REALLY HARD TO SEE.

THAT'S FINE. GREAT.

SO, CAESAR, IS LUKE BACK YET?

DIDN'T YOU GUYS GO
SOMEWHERE TONIGHT? YEAH.

YOU GET SEPARATED OR SOMETHING?

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SO, HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?

NOT UNLESS I FELL ASLEEP.

AND I NEVER FALL ASLEEP.

WELL, SO, IF YOU
DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP,

YOU KNOW FOR A
FACT HE'S NOT BACK.

RIGHT. SO YOU DIDN'T
COME BACK TOGETHER, HUH?

LONG STORY. IT'S
GETTING KIND OF LATE, SO...

IF I SEE HIM, SHOULD I TELL
HIM TO CALL YOU? YES, PLEASE.

OK, AND IF YOU TALK TO HIM,

COULD YOU MAYBE NOT MENTION
THE RADIO OR EATING THE PIE?

HE HATES WHEN I EAT
OUT OF THE PIE PLATE.

YOU WERE EATING
OUT OF THE PIE PLATE?

NO. NO.

WELL, THANKS, CAESAR. SEE YOU.

I'VE GOT LOTS OF WORK TO DO,
AND I'M HANKERING TO GET TO IT.

OK, BYE.

LORELAI, HEY.

HI, BABBETTE. HI, MOREY.

HI, LORELAI.

LOOK AT YOU, ALL DOLLED
UP AND WALKING THE STREET.

I'M NOT CALLING YOU
A HOOKER OR NOTHING.

WELL, THANK YOU.

HEY, UM, DID YOU GUYS PASS LUKE
OR SEE HIS TRUCK ANYTIME TONIGHT?

UH-OH! YOU'RE NOT WITH LUKE?

NOT AT THE MOMENT. UH-OH.

WHAT?

DIDN'T YOU GO TO YOUR
PARENTS' WEDDING THING TONIGHT?

YES. UH-OH.

WHAT? YOU DIDN'T
COME BACK TOGETHER?

OF COURSE WE DID. WE'RE JUST
NOT TOGETHER AT THE MOMENT.

(both) UH-OH!

WOULD YOU GUYS STOP DOING THAT?

EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT
BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, ISN'T IT?

OF COURSE IT IS. I HOPE SO.

OTHERWISE, TAYLOR
WOULD GO CRAZY.

HE'S GOT ALL THESE
CONTINGENCY PLANS,

REMEMBER, IN CASE
YOU GUYS SPLIT.

HE'S WORRIED WHAT IT WOULD
DO TO THE TOWN, BIG ANAL CREEP.

WELL, THERE'S NO SPLITTING
HAPPENING HERE. EVERYTHING'S FINE.

GOOD. WELL, WE BETTER BE GOING.

TAKE CARE, DOLL.

TALK TO YOU GUYS LATER. BYE.

[phone ringing]

LUKE, IT'S, UH, ME, AGAIN.

WELL, SO, UH, ANOTHER VERY
EXCITING NIGHT COMES TO A CLOSE, HUH?

UM, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
HOME, SO I'M GOING HOME.

I'LL LEAVE MY CELL PHONE ON, OR
CALL ME AT HOME ANYTIME YOU WANT.

BYE. OR JUST,
PLEASE, CALL ME, OK?

BYE.

♪ [music playing on radio]

PARIS?

[whispering] PARIS.

PARIS.

[moaning]

YOU ASLEEP?

DON'T TURN THE LIGHT ON.

[screams] I SAID DON'T
TURN THE LIGHT ON.

I DIDN'T HEAR THE "DON'T."

WHY WOULD YOU THINK I'D
TELL YOU TO TURN ON THE LIGHT

WHEN I'M DEAD ASLEEP? I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU WERE DEAD ASLEEP.

THE ROOM IS DARK. I'M UNDER THE
COVERS AND COMPLETELY IMMOBILE.

DEDUCE, SHERLOCK.
YOU'RE AWAKE NOW.

CAN I ASK YOU A
QUESTION? BITE ME.

WERE THERE ANY MESSAGES FOR ME?

YES.

4 OTHER PEOPLE CALLED
AND ASKED THAT YOU BITE ME.

LOOK, I'M SERIOUS
HERE. COME ON, PARIS.

IT IS ESPECIALLY
IMPORTANT TONIGHT THAT

IF THERE WAS A MESSAGE FOR ME,
THAT THAT MESSAGE GETS TO ME.

IF THERE WAS A MESSAGE, I WOULD
HAVE LEFT IT ON THE MESSAGE BOARD.

THE BOARD IS BLANK
AND YOU ARE NOT

THE MOST RELIABLE
MESSAGE-LEAVER.

NO MESSAGES. OK.

I DON'T MEAN TO INSULT YOU,
BUT ARE YOU MAYBE TELLING ME

THAT THERE'S NO MESSAGE
BECAUSE YOU'RE MAD I WOKE YOU

AND THERE REALLY WAS A MESSAGE?

OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE
ANNOYING TONIGHT.

WHAT'S WITH BEING
ALL K. D. LANG?

IT WAS FOR MY GRANDPARENTS'
VOW RENEWAL. I WAS THE BEST MAN.

THEY KINKY OR SOMETHING?
IT WAS A CUTE THING.

SO, WHO'S THE BOY? WHAT BOY?

THE BOY YOU'RE DYING TO GET A
MESSAGE FROM. I ASSUME IT'S A BOY.

NOT NECESSARILY.

WELL, NO ONE CALLED, LEFT A NOTE,
SMOKE-SIGNALED, MORSE-CODED,

SEMAPHORE-FLAGGED, OR CAME BY.

MALE, FEMALE, OR HERMAPHRODITE.

OK, THANKS.

I'M WIDE-AWAKE. IT'S YOUR FAULT.

YOU OWE ME BOGGLE.

BOGGLE. ONE GAME, AND
THEN IT'S BACK TO BED.

♪ [music playing]

HEY, LORELAI.

KIRK, YOU'RE DRIPPING WET.

"SWEAT IS THE CURSE
OF THE B-BOY." MOS DEF.

SO ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?

YEAH, I'M FEELING FINE. WHY?

LUKE TOLD ME YOU
WEREN'T FEELING WELL.

LUKE? YOU'VE SEEN LUKE?

HE CAME INTO THE MOVIE
THEATER. I'M ON MY BREAK

SO I FIGURED I'D COME DOWN
AND BUST A SWEET MOVE.

WHEN? WHEN?

UH, ABOUT A HALF-HOUR AGO.

I ASKED ABOUT YOU, AND HE
SAID YOU WEREN'T FEELING WELL.

THEN HE REJECTED

MY "BUY 2 JUNIOR MINTS, GET A FREE
HUNK OF ONION BEEF JERKY" OFFER

WITH A DISGUSTING
PROFANITY, THEN TOOK A SEAT.

SO HE'S THERE NOW? PROBABLY.

NOTHING'S UP WITH
YOU TWO, IS THERE?

I MEAN, HE SEEMED JUST FINE.

NO, NOTHING. NOTHING'S
WRONG AT ALL. UH-OH!

KIRK, WE HAVE NOT BROKEN UP.

BUT WHY ARE YOU GUYS
DRESSED UP BUT NOT TOGETHER?

LUKE'S IN A SUIT, WHICH
SEEMS ODDLY FORMAL

FOR A MOVIE THEATER
THAT RECYCLES ITS POPCORN.

WELL, WE HAD A
FANCY EVENT TO GO TO.

THEN I GOT THE SNIFFLES, AND
SO LUKE DECIDED TO SEE A MOVIE.

BUT NOW I'M FEELING BETTER,
SO I CAME LOOKING FOR HIM.

I HOPE THAT'S TRUE
BECAUSE TAYLOR

WOULD GO NUTS IF
YOU TWO BROKE UP.

WELL, THAT'S NOT THE CASE, SO
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

DO YOU THINK HE'S STILL THERE?

THE MOVIE JUST
STARTED WHEN I LEFT.

GREAT. THANKS A LOT, KIRK.

SO I CAN GO IN WITHOUT PAYING?

NO. THANK YOU.

MY TOWEL!

(man #1 on screen) IT WOULD
BE A PLEASURE FOR ME

TO GO BACK TO A SOCIETY
OF REALLY IMPORTANT PEOPLE.

(woman) WHAT DID HE CALL HER?

(man #2) NITWIT.
NITWIT? WHAT ARE THEY?

I DON'T KNOW.

(man #3) THE MAN'S PERFECT.

I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO SAY THAT
ALL NIGHT, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THE NERVE.

[sighing]

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?

SOMETHING STUPID.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'D NEVER'VE BROUGHT YOU HERE IF I
THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA HUMILIATE YOU.

I'M TERRIBLY GRATEFUL.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

I'VE EVER BEATEN CORNELIA AT
ANYTHING AND YOU HELPED ME DO IT.

MAN, THEY SURE TALKED
FAST IN THOSE THINGS.

YEAH, THEY, UH, THEY DID.

FAST.

(woman) BECAUSE YOU'VE DONE
SOMETHING FOR ME, DON'T YOU SEE?

I'VE BEEN FRANTICALLY TRYING
TO CALL YOUR CELL PHONE.

I TURNED IT OFF.

THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

[woman chattering]

SO, DO YOU WANT TO
HEAR MY EXPLANATIONS?

BECAUSE I'VE GOT THEM.

EXPLANATIONS,
PERSPECTIVE, APOLOGIES,

I'VE GOT THEM ALL, AND I'M
DYING TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU.

I JUST NEED SOME TIME.

TIME.

A LITTLE TIME TO THINK.

AND TO PROCESS.

RIGHT.

I GET THAT. I GET THAT.

I JUST HAVE SO MUCH
I WANT TO SAY TO YOU.

NOT RIGHT NOW, OK?

I NEED TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

OK, BUT YOU'LL CALL
ME WHEN YOU'RE READY?

YEAH. OK, GOOD.

[woman chattering]

SO, I SHOULD...

(woman #1) YOU'RE
LITTLE LATE, CORNELIA.

I HAVE WON THE GAME.

(woman #2) OH, YOU HAVE.

(man) WHEN DO I GET MY 5 BUCKS?

BUCKS, WHAT? WILL YOU
TALK TO YOUR SISTER?

I FIGURE AS YOUR
LITTLE GIRLS ARRIVE,

WE'LL GATHER THEM
HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM.

WE'LL HAVE THE POCKET DOORS
TO THE DINING ROOM CLOSED.

THEN, WHEN IT'S
TIME FOR BREAKFAST,

WE'LL OPEN THE DOORS AND VOILA,

YOU'LL GET THE FULL,
BEAUTIFUL EFFECT. WONDERFUL.

WE'LL ADD MUSIC. HAVE A NICE
LITTLE FANFARE. YOU LIKE YANNI?

HATE HIM WITH EVERY
FIBER OF MY BEING.

OH, GOOD. WE'RE IN PERFECT SYNC.

UH, AND THEN WE'LL HAVE
SMALL-SCALE TABLES SET WITH CHINA

AND A SILVER TEA SERVICE,
LITTLE PLATES, LITTLE CUPS,

AND 12 LITTLE CHAIRS
FOR ALL OF THEM TO SIT ON.

THAT'S SO CUTE! YEAH.

WAIT. 12? I THOUGHT
THERE WERE 6.6 LITTLE GIRLS.

6 GIRLS AND THEIR 6 DOLLS.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

THIS IS A PANCAKE BREAKFAST
FOR THE GIRLS AND THEIR DOLLS.

GET OUT OF TOWN.

I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT.

DOLLS, AS IN THEY DON'T HAVE
STOMACHS, LUNGS, OR SPLEENS

AND WE ARE SERVING THEM
BREAKFAST? THAT'S RIGHT.

TEETH, THROATS, COLONS,
THEY DON'T HAVE THESE EITHER

UNLESS THEY ARE
BRIDES OF CHUCKY.

NOT PAYING ATTENTION
TO YOU ANYMORE.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL
ORDER EVERYTHING,

AND ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO IS SHOW UP.

THE GIRLS ARE LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS.

SO ARE THE DOLLS.

I LOVE THAT. BYE.

OK. BYE-BYE.

IS SHE PSYCHOTIC? SHH.

THEY'RE JUST HAVING A
LITTLE SILLY FUN, MICHEL.

GIRLS LOVE DOLLS, SO CHILL.

I'M MAKING LITTLE
PANCAKES FOR THE DOLLS.

AND I FOUND THESE LITTLE
FORKS THEY CAN USE.

THEY DO NOT HAVE
OPPOSABLE THUMBS!

WHO? THE GIRLS? OH, THIS IS A
HANDICAPPED GROUP? POOR THINGS.

NO, THE DOLLS.

THE DOLLS? HOW CAN A
DOLL BE HANDICAPPED?

MY POINT EXACTLY. THEY ARE
PLASTIC AND MADE IN BANGALADORE.

WE'RE DOING THIS, SO
HOP ON BOARD OR HOP OFF.

OK, YOU DON'T NEED
TO SNAP MY NOSE OFF.

HE'S GETTING ON
YOUR NERVES, HUH?

COMPLETELY.

I'M STARVING.

DIDN'T YOU HAVE
ANYTHING AT LUKE'S TODAY?

NO, NOT TODAY.

THERE'S NO FOOD IN THIS FRIDGE.

IT'S STUFFED WITH FOOD.

I'M TALKING FOOD THAT'S
EDIBLE, FOOD TO CONSUME.

EVERYTHING IN HERE
YOU HAVE TO COOK.

I'M A COOK. OH, FORGET IT.

WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING. LUKE AND I HAD A
LITTLE DISAGREEMENT LAST NIGHT.

AT THE WEDDING? WHAT HAPPENED?

CHRISTOPHER SHOWED UP.

OH, NO.

MY MOTHER INVITED HIM.

OH, NO.

AND I HADN'T EXACTLY TOLD LUKE
ABOUT THAT TEQUILA NIGHT WITH CHRIS

AFTER HIS DAD DIED.

AND SO I TOLD HIM, AND
THERE WAS A BIG BLOWUP.

CHRIS WENT NUTS, AND LUKE WENT
NUTS, AND HE GOT MAD, AND HE LEFT.

AND NOW HE SAYS HE
NEEDS TIME TO THINK.

HOW MUCH TIME?
HE JUST SAID "TIME."

OH, I HATE WHEN MEN
DO THAT. IT'S SO VAGUE.

I SHOULD'VE TOLD HIM WHEN
IT HAPPENED, BUT I BLEW IT.

NOW IF HE'D JUST
GIVE ME 10 MINUTES,

WE COULD HASH IT OUT AND BE BACK
ON OUR WAY AND NOT WASTE TIME.

WHAT'S ENOUGH
TIME? I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S BEEN 12 HOURS.
THAT ENOUGH? I'D SAY NO.

I'M GONNA BE DISTRACTED
UNTIL WE FIX THIS.

DON'T WORRY

BECAUSE WHEN A RELATIONSHIP
IS RIGHT, THINGS WORK OUT.

I HOPE SO.

I HEARD ABOUT THIS COUPLE ON
ONE OF THOSE MORNING SHOWS.

SIMILAR TO YOU GUYS, ALL
LOVEY-DOVEY, PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER,

YOU KNOW, HEADED FOR MARRIAGE,
AND... AND SOMETHING HAPPENED

AND THEY BROKE UP IN
THEIR SENIOR YEAR IN COLLEGE

EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE
MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER.

OH. THEY MOVED TO DIFFERENT
PARTS OF THE COUNTRY.

THEY MARRIED DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

THEY MARRIED DIFFERENT PEOPLE?

OH, HAD KIDS, GRANDKIDS.

THEN THEIR SPOUSES DIED.

[groaning] AND THEY
WERE AVAILABLE AGAIN,

AND THEY TALKED,
AND THEY HOOKED UP.

AND NOW THEY'RE TOGETHER

AND THEY'RE HAPPILY IN
LOVE AFTER 40 YEARS APART.

[laughing]

THAT'S A HORRIBLE
STORY. NO, IT'S NOT.

WHAT MORNING SHOW WAS
THAT ON? I HATE THAT STORY.

BUT THEY ENDED UP TOGETHER.

WAS IT KATIE COURIC? SHE
SEEMS VERY DARK TO ME.

THE POINT IS THAT EVEN IF IT
TAKES 40 YEARS TO FIGURE IT OUT,

THERE'S STILL A CHANCE
FOR A HAPPY ENDING.

BUT THAT'S ALL
THEY HAD, AN ENDING.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
JUST AN ENDING WITH LUKE.

I KNOW, BUT... I DON'T WANNA
HAVE THOSE STUPID KIDS

OR THOSE UGLY GRANDKIDS
WITH THAT LOSER OTHER GUY.

YOU DON'T KNOW. HE
COULD BE A NICE GUY.

EVEN IF HE'S A NICE GUY, HE'S
NOT THE GUY I WANT TO BE WITH.

YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S
NOT FAIR TO HIM.

IT'S NOT FAIR TO
HIM. IT'S DISHONEST.

WE SHOULD NAME THE OTHER
GUY. I FEEL LIKE HE'D BE A LARRY.

I'M NOT NAMING THE OTHER GUY.

OK, I GUESS IT WAS
A BAD EXAMPLE.

SORRY. OH, THAT'S OK.

BUT YOU KNOW, I READ A
STORY ABOUT ANOTHER GUY

THAT HAD A FIGHT
WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND.

AND HE SAID THAT HE NEEDED
LIKE A WEEK TO THINK IT OVER

AND HE ONLY NEEDED A DAY.

AND HE AND THE GIRL WERE BACK
TOGETHER AND WERE HAPPY FOREVER.

NO LARRY OR LOSER
KIDS OR ANYTHING.

THEY DON'T PUT STUFF LIKE
THAT IN THE NEWSPAPERS

BECAUSE IT'S NOT AS
SEXY AS A 40-YEAR STORY.

BUT IT HAPPENS ALL
THE TIME, REALLY.

THANKS FOR MAKING
THAT UP. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'M GONNA GO TAKE A WALK.

I'VE GOT SOME ERRANDS TO RUN.

GOOD. GO CLEAR YOUR HEAD.

AND IT WAS KATIE COURIC.

I KNEW IT.

DON'T FORGET THE RAISIN BRAN.

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
KEEPS YOU MOVING.

WHATEVER THAT MEANS.

EWW, I JUST GOT WHAT THAT MEANS.

COGNITIVE SKILLS ARE SLOW TODAY.

GRAB SOME CORNFLAKES.

NIETZSCHE AND WITTGENSTEIN
WENT APE GUANO OVER CORNFLAKES.

SO THEY MAKE YOU SMART,
GERMAN, AND DEPRESSED?

WHY DO THEY HAVE
SO MUCH WHEAT CHEX?

IT DOESN'T GO WITH ANYTHING.

WHEAT CHEX IS SORT OF THE
PUMPERNICKEL BREAD OF THE CEREAL WORLD.

WELL PUT.

SO WHAT COMBO WERE
YOU THINKING TODAY?

CAP'N CRUNCH OVER A
FOUNDATION OF RICE KRISPIES

WITH A PERIMETER
OF SHREDDED WHEAT.

BOLD. I LIKE ITS PROSPECTS.

I LOVE CEREAL. IT ROCKS.

SO, YOU NEVER TOLD
ME WHO THE GUY WAS.

GUY?

THE GUY YOU WERE DYING
FOR A MESSAGE FROM.

THE GUY WHO HAS YOU
YOKED TO YOUR CELL PHONE.

I AM NOT YOKED TO MY CELL PHONE.

I CAN'T HEAR IT WHEN
IT'S IN MY POCKET.

OH, GOD. TELL ME IT'S
NOT HUNTZBERGER.

WHAT IF IT IS?

WITH THE HAIR AND THE
CHIN LIKE HE'S A 4TH BEE GEE?

I CAN PUT THE PHONE
AWAY IF IT'S BOTHERING YOU.

DON'T.

THAT PATHETIC BOAT
YOU'RE IN, I'M FIRST OARSMAN.

HOW SO? I'M WAITING
FOR DOYLE TO CALL.

I EXPECTED A CALL YESTERDAY TO
SET SOMETHING UP FOR LAST NIGHT

BUT IT NEVER CAME.

SO I ATE A FAMILY-SIZE BAG OF
SALT AND VINEGAR POTATO CHIPS

AND WENT TO BED AT
7:30. THAT WAS THE SMELL.

WE'RE BETTER THAN
THIS, YOU AND ME.

WE'RE THE CHILDREN
OF EMMA GOLDMAN

AND HILLARY CLINTON.
STRONG, INDEPENDENT.

WE'RE BETTER THAN
THIS. APPARENTLY NOT.

I BLAME CHILTON.

GREAT EDUCATION BUT
HORRIFIC SOCIALIZATION.

WE NEED GUIDANCE. I'M
NOT CALLING LOVELINE.

RORY, COME ON. WE'RE SITTING IN
A SEA OF EXPERTISE IN THIS FIELD.

A COLLEGE CAMPUS. THERE'S
NO END OF KNOCK-HEADED BIMBOS

WITH TONS OF DROSS TO DISPENSE.

THERE'S 2 NOW.

PARIS, DON'T.

(Paris) ALTHEA,
JANET, COME HERE.

YOU HATE ALTHEA AND JANET.

GRANTED, THEY KNOW NOTHING OF
UKRAINIAN POLITICS OR THE PERIODIC TABLE,

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO BOYS,
THEY'RE BRIGHTER THAN THE BRONTES.

WHAT, PARIS? HEY,
JANET. HEY, ALTHEA.

GIRLS, WE HAVE RELATED PROBLEMS.

A LITTLE LOVE TROUBLE.

CAN WE BEND YOUR EARS?

UH, SURE.

NO, ALTHEA. PLEASE,
GO ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY.

THERE'S NO LOVE TROUBLE HERE.

I DON'T MIND. I DO.

FINE, THEN I'LL JUST
LAY OUT MY SITUATION.

GREAT, 'CAUSE I'M OUT OF THIS.

OK, SO I'VE GOT A GUY.

BLIND? CAN IT.

THE LAST TIME I SAW
HIM, HE STRONGLY IMPLIED

THAT HE WAS GOING
TO CALL ME AND SOON.

IT'S BEEN 4 DAYS. YOU
EVER CALL HIM TO HOOK UP?

HE'S ALWAYS TAKEN THE REINS.
WHAT DID HE SAY EXACTLY?

"CALL YOU LATER"
OR "SEE YOU LATER"?

"CALL," OR WAS IT "SEE"?

VERY DIFFERENT. "CALL"
IS MORE DESCRIPTIVE.

IF HE SAID "CALL YOU
LATER" AND DIDN'T,

IT'S AN EGREGIOUS "SCREW YOU."

I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS "SEE." THEN I
THINK YOU COULD CUT HIM SOME SLACK.

YOU LIKE HIM, RIGHT? YEAH.

THEN CALL HIM,
BUT HAVE A REASON.

WE'RE ON THE PAPER
TOGETHER. PERFECT.

CALL TO ASK FOR
NOTES, OR SOMETHING,

BUT DON'T GIVE
HIM ANYTHING ELSE.

IF HE'S INTO YOU, HE'LL
TAKE IT FROM THERE.

IF HE'S NOT, AT LEAST YOU
KNOW, SO YOU CAN DUMP HIM.

DIRECT. SIMPLE. A
CLEAR PATH. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME. SEE YOU.

UM, EXCUSE ME.

YEAH?

IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I'M WONDERING...

YEAH?

OK, I GOT CLOSE TO KIND OF
GETTING TOGETHER WITH A GUY.

YOU MEAN LIKE "GETTING
TOGETHER" GETTING TOGETHER?

YEAH, BUT WE WERE INTERRUPTED.

SHOULDN'T HE BE
CALLING ME TO TALK

OR MAYBE SET UP
GETTING TOGETHER?

WHAT WAS THE INTERRUPTION?

MOM. THEN DAD. THEN
MOM'S BOYFRIEND.

WHOA! POOR GUY.

OK, YOU DEFINITELY
HAVE TO CALL HIM. REALLY?

HE MIGHT BE AFRAID TO CALL.

THINKS YOU'RE TOO MUCH DRAMA.

TOO MUCH DRAMA.

YOU GIVE HIM A CALL
BUT KEEP IT CASUAL.

SHE'S LOVE DENSE. GIVE
HER SPECIFIC LANGUAGE.

"GET TOGETHER." OR "HANG OUT."

THAT'S BETTER. ASK HIM
TO HANG OUT SOMETIME.

IT'LL GIVE HIM AN EASY OUT.

IF HE SAYS "YES," MEET UP,
ACT CASUAL, BUT LOOK HOT.

I'VE GOT A PEN IF YOU
WANNA WRITE THIS DOWN.

NO, I THINK I CAN
REMEMBER. THANK YOU.

NO PROBLEM. ANY TIME.

STYROFOAM FOR BRAINS,
BUT THEY KNOW THEIR STUFF.

[people chattering]

I'M ON YOUR SIDE, LORELAI.

WAIT, GYPSY. WHAT
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE BREAKUP. WHAT BREAKUP?

YOURS AND LUKE'S.
WE'RE NOT BROKEN UP.

BREAKUP, SPLIT-UP, SEPARATED,
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT.

I'D LIKE TO CALL IT
NOTHING. WE'RE FINE.

AND WHAT IS WITH THESE RIBBONS?

PINK FOR YOU, BLUE FOR
LUKE. IT'S TAYLOR'S IDEA.

THAT WAY, WE ALL KNOW
WHO'S SIDE WE'RE ON

WITHOUT HAVING TO
TALK TO EACH OTHER.

HE'S A FREAK, BUT I LIKE PINK.

OH, MY GOD. LOOK
OUT. BLUE INCOMING.

GYPSY, PLEASE, TAKE
THAT RIBBON OFF.

I DON'T WANT ANYONE
ENCOURAGING TAYLOR ON THIS.

OH, IT'S WAY TOO LATE.
HE'S PASSED OUT HUNDREDS.

HUNDREDS? IT WAS
NO CHOICE FOR ME.

LUKE FIXES HIS OWN TRUCK,
SO I MAKE BUBKES OFF HIM.

YOU, YOU DON'T KNOW A
PISTON FROM A PEPPERONI.

LOTS OF MONEY IN
IGNORANCE. I'M WITH YOU.

OK, GREAT. I'LL CATCH
UP WITH YOU LATER.

PINK POWER, BABY!

WE CHICKS GOT TO STICK TOGETHER.

LORELAI.

I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER.

LUKE. HI, I AM SORRY TO
SNEAK UP ON YOU LIKE THIS.

PLEASE, JUST GIVE ME A
MINUTE, WE NEED TO TALK.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY.

I... I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT
THAT NIGHT WITH CHRISTOPHER.

I KNOW THAT NOW. YEAH, OK, I...

BUT I SWEAR, THE VISIT
WE HAD WAS SO INNOCENT.

IT WAS ABOUT HIS DAD.

AND NOTHING HAPPENED.
LESS THAN NOTHING HAPPENED.

BUT YOU HID IT.

I KNOW, AND I SHOULDN'T
HAVE, AND I AM SO, SO SORRY.

BUT ALL THAT TALK FROM
CHRISTOPHER AT THE WEDDING.

I DIDN'T SEE THAT
COMING. HE WAS DRUNK.

HE WAS STUPID.

HE'S NEVER NOT STUPID,
BUT I... I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING.

YOU SHOULD HAVE. I KNOW.

RORY WARNED ME,
AND I IGNORED HER.

BUT BELIEVE ME, I AM NEVER
SEEING HIM AGAIN, NEVER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? HE'S RORY'S FATHER.

HE'LL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR LIFE.

IN HER LIFE.

HER LIFE IS YOUR LIFE.

NOT WHEN IT COMES TO THIS.

THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN
AGAIN AND AGAIN.

NO, IT WON'T, LUKE, I PROMISE.

GOD, IF YOU CARE ANYTHING FOR ME
AT ALL, JUST PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS.

I'VE GOT TO GO. LUKE, NO. WAIT.

LUKE, IT WAS MY MOTHER,
YOU KNOW, WHO DID ALL THIS.

SHE WAS THE ONE, SHE
CAUSED ALL THIS HATEFUL STUFF

BECAUSE CHRISTOPHER IS
WEAK, AND SHE KNOWS THAT

AND I AM NEVER
TALKING TO HER AGAIN.

THEY'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE IN YOUR
LIFE, TOO. YOUR MOTHER, YOUR FATHER.

THE GILMORES WILL
ALWAYS BE IN YOUR LIFE.

I CAN CUT THEM OFF. YOU
JUST CAN'T CUT THEM OFF.

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT
WAY, AND THEY'LL NEVER FEEL

DIFFERENTLY ABOUT ME, EVER.

IT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE
THEY'RE GONE. THAT'S IT.

THEY ARE GONE. I CAN DO THAT.

LOOK, I CAN'T HAVE
THIS OUT, RIGHT NOW.

OK WHEN? WHERE?

I NEED MORE TIME.
I TOLD YOU THAT.

I'M AFRAID OF THIS
"MORE TIME" STUFF.

I'M AFRAID IT'LL TAKE 40
YEARS, AND THAT'S NOT GOOD.

LORELAI. WE'LL MISS OUR MIDDLE.

I WANT A MIDDLE.

AND THE TOWN IS DIVIDING US UP.

I NEED THAT TO STOP.

DON'T. LUKE,

I'M ALL IN. I'M ALL IN.

PLEASE TRUST ME. LET ME SHOW YOU

WHAT A GREAT
GIRLFRIEND I CAN BE.

BUT I CAN'T WAIT. WE CAN'T WAIT.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING RIGHT NOW.

FINE. YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT I'M THINKING RIGHT NOW?

THAT I CAN'T BE IN
THIS RELATIONSHIP.

IT'S TOO MUCH.

NO.

[door closing]

[phone ringing]

(Logan) HELLO.

HI, IT'S RORY.

RORY GILMORE, AS
I LIVE AND BREATHE.

SO, HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD, ACE. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD. HOPE YOUR
LIFE'S BEEN LESS EXCITING

SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU.

RELATIVELY.

MEANING YOU'RE STEERING CLEAR
OF COUNTRY CLUB DRESSING ROOMS?

PRETTY MUCH. GOOD.

YEAH, SO,

I WAS WONDERING
IF MAYBE YOU'D...

YEAH?

IF YOU'D LIKE TO HANG
OUT OR SOMETHING.

HANG OUT. YEAH.

WHEN?

HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?

WHOA! MS. SPONTANEITY!

I'M VERY OF-THE-MOMENT
THESE DAYS.

WELL, SURE, I'D LOVE TO HANG
OUT WITH YOU. COME ON OVER.

TO YOUR PLACE? ABSOLUTELY.

COOL.

SEE YOU IN A BIT.
SEE YOU IN A BIT.

[boys chattering]

YEAH. OH, HI.

I DON'T THINK I'M
IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

(Logan) WHO IS IT? GIRL SCOUT.

HEY, ACE, COME ON IN.

COME ON IN.

WELCOME TO MY NIGHT
OF HUMILIATING DEFEAT.

ONE IN A SERIES.

DON'T GLOAT, ROBERT. IT'S
NOT CHRISTIAN. NEITHER AM I.

EVERYBODY, THIS IS RORY.

HI. HEY.

I'D INTRODUCE YOU, BUT
I DON'T KNOW 3 OF THEM.

IT'S TO YOU, BUDDY.

OH, JOY. COME ON, KIDDO.
SIT HERE NEXT TO ME.

IS THAT ALLOWED?
I WOULDN'T OBJECT.

COME ON. BE MY GOOD-LUCK CHARM.

DID I RAISE OR CHECK?

YOU'VE BEEN EATING OUT OF
ALUMINUM PANS AGAIN, BUDDY?

YOUR SHORT-TERM
MEMORY IS NONEXISTENT.

(Logan) YEAH, IT'S
ALUMINUM PANS.

COME ON. THE MORE YOU
STALL, THE SLOWER I WIN.

THAT WAS ALMOST
GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT.

2. GOODBYE.

(boy) CALL. HOLD UP.

YOU LOOK VERY NICE
TONIGHT. OH, THANKS.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS GAME?

UM, JUST WHAT I'VE SEEN
ON T.V. THE ODD COUPLE.

WHAT?

QUINCY PLAYED IT, BUT
HE WASN'T CALLED "QUINCY."

UH, OSCAR AND FELIX.
FELIX DIDN'T PLAY.

TONY RANDALL. HE COOKED
FOR THEM SOMETIMES.

I AM SO LOST. I KNOW A LITTLE.

WELL, IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING,
YOU KNOW I NEED A JACK OR A 10.

POCKET JACKS.
UN-BLOODY-BELIEVABLE.

DO WE BOTHER WITH
5TH STREET? LET'S SEE IT.

[screaming]

NOW YOU'RE JUST MOCKING ME!

YOUR GIRL BROUGHT
SOMEONE SOME LUCK.

2 G'S. OUCH.

THAT WAS $2,000? YOU
GOT TO BET IT TO WIN IT.

IT'S JUST MONEY.

HE'S DOWN $9,000 TO
ME FROM LAST TIME.

SHOULD I SEND THE
I.O.U. TO YOUR POP?

IS THAT HOW YOU WANT TO
WORK IT? CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN?

YEAH, AND I'LL SEND
SOME TO YOUR MOTHER.

A GENERIC, UNFOCUSED "AND SO'S
YOUR MOTHER" STYLE COMEBACK.

YOU'RE OFF YOUR GAME, HUNTZ.

I'LL WORK ON A BETTER
RETORT AND GET BACK TO YOU.

YOU COVERING THIS? PARDON ME.

YOU WERE AT THE LAST "LIFE
AND DEATH" SHINDIG, AS I RECALL.

BUT I'M NOT COVERING
THIS. I'M JUST HANGING OUT.

BACK OFF, ROBERT.
SHE'S JUST HANGING OUT.

THANKS, KITTEN. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I LOVE THE SERVICE HERE.

I'M OUT. DOWN TO
THE TRICKS AGAIN.

I'M IN.

(Logan) DON'T BE A
JERK, ROBERT. WHAT?

YOU BET WITHOUT LOOKING AT
YOUR CARDS. LOOK AT YOUR CARDS.

I DON'T NEED TO WITH RORY HERE.

I HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT.

YOU WANT A DRINK?

ME? YEAH.

ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW
LONG I'M GOING TO STAY HERE

SO I THINK I'M GOOD FOR NOW.

ALL RIGHT. THE WAY
IT'S GOING TONIGHT,

I MAY NOT LAST TO
THE NEXT DRINK EITHER.

CAN WE CHANGE THE MUSIC? NO.

SINCE WHEN DID YOU BECOME
TIPPER GORE? SHUT UP, COLIN.

(Sookie) SHE'S ON HER
WAY. I KNOW SHE IS.

WELL, I HOPE SHE IS.
JUST HANG IN THERE, GIRLS.

I KNOW YOU'RE HUNGRY.

THEY'RE GETTING READY TO REBEL.

IT'S JUST THAT LORELAI ORDERED
ALL THE TABLES AND THE LITTLE CHINA

AND I'M SURE IT'S HERE
SOMEWHERE, IT'S JUST...

EXCUSE ME JUST FOR A SECOND.

PLEASE HELP. YOU'RE
JUST STANDING THERE.

I'M STAYING OUT OF THE WAY.

IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE, TO
NOT GET IN THE WAY IS SO VALUABLE.

WELL, GET IN THE WAY.
ENTERTAIN THE KIDS.

LIKE I'M SPONGEBOY
BIGPANTS OR SOMETHING?

I DO NOT ENTERTAIN CHILDREN.

I AM WORRIED. SHE LEFT TO
DO AN ERRAND YESTERDAY,

AND NEVER CAME BACK.

ARE YOU DIALING
THE RIGHT NUMBER?

I THINK AFTER 10 YEARS, I
KNOW LORELAI'S NUMBER.

WELL, WHERE IS SHE?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT SHE WAS IN CHARGE
OF EVERYTHING, EXCEPT THE PANCAKES

AND WITHOUT HER, ALL
WE HAVE ARE PANCAKES.

THEY'RE EXPECTING
GAMES AND STUFF.

OH, HERE'S A FUN GAME.

POKE OUT ALL THE
DOLLS' EYES, MIX THEM UP,

AND TRY TO MATCH
THEM TO THE RIGHT DOLLS.

IT'S STILL VOICEMAIL.
LEAVE A MESSAGE.

I'VE LEFT A MILLION MESSAGES.
I'M GOING TO HER HOUSE.

DON'T LEAVE ME HERE.

(Sookie) STALL. STALL.

MY DOLLY FELL.

KISS THE BOO-BOO.

[sighing]

WHAT PART OF THE
DOLLY IS THE "BOO-BOO"?

(Logan) COME ON, COME ON,

(Robert) I'VE MADE MY DECISION.

(Robert) I'M IN, $350. CALL.

I'M GONNA RAISE. ASS.

OUR GENTLEMEN'S
COURTESY STILL PREVAILS, ROB.

FINE. MR. ASS.

ASS, ESQUIRE.

HE'S CRACKED.

WE'VE CRACKED ROBERT.

MORNING, THERE,
ACE. HOW'D YOU SLEEP?

FOR THE RECORD, YOU DON'T SNORE.

WE'D BE HAPPY TO
SIGN AN AFFIDAVIT

[cell phone ringing] TO THAT EFFECT
FOR ANY PROSPECTIVE HUSBAND.

MOM? IT'S ME, RORY. IT'S SOOKIE.

SOOKIE? YOU'RE AT THE HOUSE?

LOOK, SOMETHING HAPPENED
WITH YOUR MOM AND LUKE

AND YOUR MOM'S IN BAD SHAPE.

I MEAN, SHE'S DOWN.

I'M HERE NOW, BUT I... I
THINK YOU OUGHT TO COME.

SHE NEEDS YOU.

OH, MY GOD, IS SHE HURT?

NO, NOT PHYSICALLY.
JUST COME, OK?

OK.

I'M OUT.

YOU OK? I HAVE TO GO.

WHAT HAPPENED? I JUST HAVE
TO GO. I HAVE TO GET HOME.

TO YOUR DORM? STARS HOLLOW.

OH, NO. I DON'T HAVE MY CAR.

DIDN'T YOU WALK HERE?
YOU'RE LIKE 100 YARDS AWAY.

NO, I MEAN I TOOK IT IN FOR ITS
6-MONTH SERVICE. IT'S AT THE DEALER.

YOU TAKE YOUR CAR TO THE
DEALER? THEY SO RIP YOU OFF THERE!

IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHERE IT IS. I DON'T HAVE IT.

WHICH MEANS THAT I HAVE TO TAKE
A BUS OR A TRAIN OR SOMETHING.

THAT'LL TAKE HOURS.
I KNOW. I HAVE TO GO.

TAKE MY CAR.

I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE YOUR CAR.

NO, IT'S A CAR WITH A DRIVER. I'VE
GOT AN ACCOUNT WITH THE COMPANY.

NO. TAKE IT.

I'LL GIVE FRANK A CALL, AND
TELL HIM TO MEET YOU OUT FRONT.

HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE
OF YOU. IT'S A DONE DEAL.

OK. THANKS. GO.

WHERE IS SHE? UPSTAIRS.

OK, I'VE GOT IT FROM
HERE, SOOKIE. I LOVE YOU.

MOM? WHAT HAPPENED?

LUKE. WHAT ABOUT LUKE?

[sobbing] HE'S
GONE. HE HATES ME.

I BLEW IT. I BLEW EVERYTHING.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT HAPPENED?

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD
HIM ABOUT CHRISTOPHER.

THAT WAS INNOCENT.

BUT I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD HIM. I HID IT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE HID IT.

TRY TO SIT UP.

SHE GOT TO HIM.

TO DAD? WHO DID?

MOM.

SHE PUSHED HIM
TO RUIN EVERYTHING.

AND NOW THEY'RE
PUTTING UP RIBBONS.

RIBBONS? WHO?

TAYLOR, THE TOWN. THEY HATE ME.

THEY ALL HATE ME. I
WRECKED EVERYTHING.

MOM, THIS ISN'T GOOD.
COME ON. TRY TO SIT UP.

HE SAID HE NEEDED TIME
TO THINK, AND I PUSHED HIM.

HE'LL COME AROUND. I PUSHED HIM,

AND NOW HE'S GONE.

HE WAITED FOREVER FOR YOU.

HE'S NOT JUST GONNA WALK AWAY.

IT'S OVER.

MOM, THIS ISN'T YOU,
LYING IN BED LIKE THIS.

YOU SHOULD BE UP.

YOU SHOULD GO TO
SCHOOL. GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

I'M HERE. I'M STAYING.

I REALLY SCREWED UP THIS TIME.

SHH.

[sobbing] HE COULD'VE
BEEN THE ONE.

HE'LL COME AROUND. SHH.

TRY TO SLEEP.

RORY?

[projector whirring]

LUKE?

WHAT YOU WATCHING?

SOMETHING STUPID.

THIS ISN'T STUPID.

LORELAI, THIS THING WE'RE
DOING HERE, ME, YOU...

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M IN.

I AM ALL IN.

SAY SOMETHING.

SAY SOMETHING.

[dog barking]

YOU SLEPT. I GUESS.

FEELING BETTER? SURE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU SHOULD GET
BACK TO YALE. UH-UH.

RORY, YOU CAN'T JUST STAY HERE.

SORRY. I'M HERE
FOR THE DURATION.

YOU NEED SUPPLIES.

I'M FINE.

THERE'S NO SIGN THAT YOU'VE
EATEN OR HAD ANYTHING TO DRINK.

WELL, I'M NOT HUNGRY OR THIRSTY.

IF YOU'RE STAYING UP
HERE, YOU NEED SUPPLIES,

SUSTENANCE, ENTERTAINMENT.

SO, YOU'RE A LITTLE
THIRSTY, AREN'T YOU?

A LITTLE.

WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
WATER? BOURBON?

WATER IS GOOD. WHAT
DO YOU GOT FOOD-WISE?

NOT MUCH. WHAT'S NOT MUCH?

LIKE, NOTHING. SOME MOLDY BREAD.

I'VE BEEN EATING OUT, MOSTLY.

OK. I'M GOING ON A RUN.

I'M NOT HUNGRY.

I'LL GET YOU SOME D.V.D.s,
TOO. DO YOU WANT MAGAZINES?

NO. I'LL GET YOU SOME MAGAZINES.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT BOURBON?

HONEY, YOU HAVE STUFF
TO DO. THIS IS MY STUFF.

I'LL BE BACK IN A FLASH.

THE RIBBONS. WHAT?

OH, THE RIBBONS.
THEY'RE ALL OVER TOWN.

I'LL JUST IGNORE
THEM. STUPID TAYLOR.

PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE ALL
OVER YOU WITH QUESTIONS.

THEN THEY'LL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE
GREEN DESTINY. YOU'LL GET BOMBARDED.

MAYBE I'LL CALL IN
SOME REINFORCEMENTS.

I GOT MY CELL ON. OK.

DON'T GO ROLLER-BLADING OR
BOWLING OR ANYTHING WHILE I'M GONE.

I WON'T.

(Frank) I'LL TAKE THOSE, MISS.

DID YOU GET EVERYTHING?

EVERYTHING ON THE LIST.

PLUS I THREW IN A
FEW THINGS OF MY OWN.

SOME TOLL HOUSE COOKIE DOUGH.

COOKED OR UNCOOKED, THE
ULTIMATE COMFORT FOOD. NICE.

CHOCOLATE-COVERED MATZO.

NICE AND ETHNIC.

AND A NEW TOOTHBRUSH.

WHY A NEW TOOTHBRUSH?

DENTISTS SAY TO CHANGE YOUR
TOOTHBRUSH EVERY 3 MONTHS.

I'M ASSUMING YOUR
MOTHER'S NOT DOING THAT.

I'M NOT SURE HOW THAT'S
GOING TO HELP HER DEPRESSION,

BUT YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND.

YOU LIKE HAM AND CHEESE, FRANK?

AH. THANK YOU, MISS.
WE CAN HEAD HOME NOW.

VERY GOOD.

WAS TAYLOR IN THERE?

AFRAID SO. AND HE
WAS HOLDING COURT.

WHAT?

HE WAS TALKING WITH A BUNCH
OF PEOPLE ABOUT THE BREAKUP.

BIG DEBATE GOING ON.

WHAT DEBATE?

ABOUT WHETHER ELM STREET
HAD GONE MORE PINK THAN BLUE

AND WHETHER LORELAI
SHOULD'VE MARRIED

THAT MAX GUY WHEN
SHE HAD THE CHANCE.

AND HE WAS PASSING OUT RIBBONS
LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW.

WAS HE?

HOLD ON, FRANK.

(Frank) YES, MA'AM.

LUKE I'VE KNOWN LONGER
BECAUSE OF THE DINER.

LORELAI IS MUCH LATER, BUT...

WHERE ARE THEY, TAYLOR?

WHAT? DON'T PLAY
DUMB. THE RIBBONS.

TAKE PIANO LESSONS OR SOMETHING.

SHE WAS SO SWEET
WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE.

GOT THEM.

MY COMPLIMENTS TO YOUR MOXIE.

I'VE GOT MOXIE COMING
OUT OF MY EARS TODAY.

[car honking]

ARE THEY HONKING AT US?

THEY BETTER NOT BE. FRANK,
ARE THEY HONKING AT US?

(Frank) I BELIEVE SO.

OH. I'M IN NO MOOD FOR THIS!

[horns blaring] WE
ARE DEPRESSED.

WE'LL MOVE WHEN
WE MOVE, SO STOP...

UH, SORRY.

I'M NOT USUALLY IN A LIMO.

HEADS UP. MAN COMING IN.

[gasps]

THE T.V.!

IF YOU WON'T COME DOWNSTAIRS,
I'M BRINGING DOWNSTAIRS UP TO YOU.

ON THE TABLE, FRANK. VERY GOOD.

EVENING, MA'AM. EVENING.

THAT'S FRANK, MY DRIVER.

SO, I PUT ALL THE THINGS
YOU WILL DEFINITELY NEED

WITHIN EASIEST REACH,
WATER, BASIC FOODSTUFFS.

THEN THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE
TO REACH FOR OR STAND UP FOR

RECEDE IN ORDER OF
FREQUENCY OF USE.

IT'S NOT A SCIENCE, BUT
I DID THE BEST I COULD.

I'M LOVING THIS CEREAL COMBO.

5 DIFFERENT KINDS, 3 SWEETENED

WITH A MIX OF NONFAT MILK AND
HALF-AND-HALF. IT'S A PARIS RECIPE.

THANK HER FOR ME.

ALL DONE HERE. (Rory) EXCELLENT.

ANYTHING ELSE I CAN GET FOR YOU?

I DON'T THINK SO. THANKS, FRANK.

YEAH, THANKS, FRANK.

WAIT. WHO'S FRANK?

I REALLY HAD TO GET OUT HERE,

AND MY CAR IS AT THE DEALER
FOR ITS 6-MONTH SERVICE.

SO MY FRIEND HAD A CAR
AND A DRIVER STANDING BY

SO THEY LET ME
BORROW IT AND FRANK

AND THAT EXPLAINS FRANK.

YOU TAKE YOUR CAR
TO THE DEALER? YEAH.

THEY'RE SUCH A RIP-OFF.

IT SAYS IN THE BOOK TO
TAKE IT TO THE DEALER.

IF IT SAID TO DRIVE OFF A CLIFF,
WOULD YOU DRIVE OFF A CLIFF?

YES, I WOULD. AND
"THEY" IS A "HE"?

WHO?

THE "THEY" WITH A LIMO.

YES, HE'S A "HE."

THANK LOGAN FOR ME. OK.

LOOK, YOU AND
FRANK SHOULD GO. NO.

YALE'S GONNA GET MAD.

YALE'S NOT GONNA GET MAD.

RORY, I'M GLAD YOU CAME,
BUT LOOK HOW FINE I AM.

I'M SURROUNDED BY EVERYTHING
I COULD POSSIBLY NEED.

I EVEN HAVE RAW COOKIE
DOUGH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

THAT WAS LANE'S IDEA.

A WHOLE VILLAGE HAS
SEEN TO MY NEEDS.

GO. IT'S TIME. LOOK, I'M
SITTING UP AND EVERYTHING.

THEN YOU'RE FEELING BETTER?
I MEAN, FOR REAL, THIS TIME?

I'M NOT 100%, BUT
I'M GETTING THERE.

I SWEAR.

THE DOWNSTAIRS IS ALL SET, TOO.

I CLEANED UP, VACUUMED
A LITTLE, SPOT-DUSTED,

AND I'VE CHECKED IN
WITH SOOKIE. GOOD.

THE PARTY FOR THE LITTLE
GIRLS AND THEIR DOLLS,

MICHEL APPARENTLY REALLY
CAME THROUGH, AND IT WAS A BIG HIT.

HE SANG A MEDLEY FROM ANNIE.

PULLED OUT THE BIG
GUNS. GOOD. NOW GO!

OK, BUT I AM GOING
TO CALL A LOT.

I'M GOOD WITH THAT. I ONLY
HAVE ONE CLASS TOMORROW

SO I COULD STOP BY
AGAIN IN THE AFTERNOON.

THERE WILL BE NO NEED. YOU
CAN CALL ME, TOO, YOU KNOW.

I KNOW, MOM.

OK. BYE.

BYE, HONEY.

AND I'M GONNA HAVE FRANK
HONK BEFORE WE LEAVE. WHY?

I DON'T KNOW. IT
JUST SOUNDS FUN. OK.

(woman on T.V.) THE RESULTS
HAVE REALLY BEEN TREMENDOUS.

WE'D LOVE TO TAKE YOUR CALLS IF
YOU'RE USING THE PRODUCTS AND...

IT WILL MAKE...
GOOD LOOK AT THIS...

I DON'T WANT
IT... IT COULD BE...

THE NEXT MORNING
I READ THE STORY...

[sighing]

[car honking]

[sniffles]

HEY, LUKE, IT'S ME.

[sighing]

I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE CALLING,

BUT I AM NOT DOING REALLY
GREAT RIGHT NOW. AND...

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF...

DO YOU REMEMBER,
IN THE WAY WE WERE,

HOW KATIE AND HUBBELL BROKE UP

BECAUSE HIS FRIENDS
WERE JOKING AND LAUGHING

AND THE PRESIDENT HAD JUST DIED,

AND SHE YELLED AT
THEM, AND HE WAS MAD?

AND HE WAS GOING OUT
TO HOLLYWOOD, AND...

I MEAN, WHICH SHE
HATED. AND... AND

HE BROKE UP WITH HER,
AND SHE WAS REALLY

UPSET. AND SHE CALLED HIM

AND ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD COME
OVER AND SIT WITH HER BECAUSE

HE WAS HER BEST FRIEND
AND SHE NEEDED HER

BEST FRIEND.

AND HE DID. AND...

AND...

AND THEY TALKED ALL NIGHT

AND THEY WENT OUT TO
HOLLYWOOD, WHICH WAS A DISASTER,

BUT IT WAS GOOD AT FIRST
WITH THE BOAT AND, UH,

IN THE PUTTING THE BOOKS AWAY.

I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE A LOT

SO IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE
PUTTING-THE-BOOKS-AWAY SCENE,

DON'T FEEL STUPID OR ANYTHING.

I WAS JUST SITTING HERE
THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I, UM...

I'M IN MY HOUSE
AND I WAS JUST, UH...

COULD YOU PLEASE COME OVER?

I, PLEASE, REALLY NEED TO
SEE YOU AND TALK TO YOU AND...

PLEASE COME OVER.

PLEASE.

COME...

OH, MY GOD.

HEY, ACE. HOW'RE
YOU DOING? FINE.

COME ON IN.

UH, LOGAN, WAIT.
NO, I CAN'T STAY.

I'M JUST RETURNING FRANK.

RETURNING FRANK? AND
THE LIMO. THANKS VERY MUCH.

EVERYTHING OK BACK HOME?

OK ENOUGH. IT WAS
GOOD THAT I WENT.

THANK YOU VERY
MUCH FOR YOUR HELP.

YOU'RE VERY FORMAL
TONIGHT. WHAT?

JUST YOUR TONE, IT'S FORMAL.

WELL, THAT'S HOW IT IS.

AND I FED FRANK A NICE
SANDWICH, SO HE'S ALL GOOD TO GO.

YOU ENDED UP BEING
EXTREMELY LUCKY FOR ME, ACE.

IS THAT SO? I TOOK ROBERT
FOR EVERYTHING HE HAD

PLUS EVERYTHING I
OWED HIM FROM LAST TIME.

YOU SHOULD COME
TO ALL THESE THINGS.

YEAH, KIDDO, MAYBE I SHOULD.

WHAT?

HEY, DID IT EVER OCCUR
TO YOU WHEN I CALLED

TO ASK YOU IF YOU
WANTED TO HANG OUT

THAT I MEANT IT SHOULD
JUST BE THE TWO OF US?

I ACTUALLY WASN'T SURE. THE
WHOLE THING WAS A LITTLE VAGUE.

IT WASN'T VAGUE. NO,
"HANG OUT" IS A LITTLE VAGUE.

IT'S NOT A SPECIFIC
BOY-GIRL THING.

I CAN TELL YOU THAT
I WASN'T EXPECTING

TO BE FANNY BRICE TO
YOUR NICKY ARNSTEIN.

BUT I ALREADY HAD THIS GAME
GOING. I COULDN'T KICK EVERYBODY OUT,

SO MY CHOICE WAS TO SAY
"NO" AND NOT SEE YOU AT ALL

OR SAY "YES" AND DO
IT THE WAY WE DID IT.

I WASN'T EXPECTING A GROUP.

SO I SHOULD'VE SAID "NO,"
MEANING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AT ALL?

I WANTED TO SEE YOU.

THAT'S NICE. I WANTED
TO SEE YOU, TOO.

I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE A LITTLE MORE INTIMATE.

INTIMATE? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

SO THE ONLY TIME WE CAN SEE
EACH OTHER IS TO HAVE SEX?

NO, LOGAN, THAT'S
NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

THAT'S WHAT I'M
TAKING FROM THIS.

DON'T TAKE THAT. THAT'S
NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

SO WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER UNDER

ALL KINDS OF CONDITIONS,
ALONE, IN A GROUP?

YEAH. GOOD.

LAST NIGHT HAPPENED TO
BE A GROUP THING. RIGHT.

SO I DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM.

YEAH.

NO, I GUESS THERE
REALLY WASN'T A PROBLEM.

I'M GLAD WE CLEARED THAT UP.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

I'M GOING OUT OF
TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS.

BUT I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU A CALL

TO SET SOMETHING UP FOR WHEN I
GET BACK BUT YOU CALLED ME FIRST.

RIGHT.

I'M BACK NEXT SATURDAY.

IT'S THE FIRST NIGHT
I'M BACK. WANT TO...

I DON'T KNOW. WHAT ARE THE KIDS
SAYING THESE DAYS? "HANG OUT?"

I'M NEVER LISTENING TO THE
BRANFORD CEREAL GIRLS AGAIN.

WHAT?

NOTHING. I'M FREE.

NO GROUP THIS TIME.

NO GROUP THIS TIME.

GOOD. SO NEXT SATURDAY.

THANKS FOR FEEDING FRANK.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I PROMISE NOT TO
CALL YOU "KIDDO" AGAIN.

I KIND OF PICKED UP ON
THAT SARCASM FROM BEFORE.

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER
THINGS YOU COULD CALL ME.

THAT'S AN OPENING.

BYE. BYE, ACE.

[sighing]

LUKE. ARE YOU OK?

YEAH. YOU SURE?

I GOT HERE. THERE WAS NO ANSWER.

YOU GOT MY MESSAGE.

YEAH, I WAS HOME AND I
COULDN'T REACH THE PHONE

SO I RAN OVER HERE.

I KNOCKED. THERE WAS NO ANSWER.

SO I TRIED THE LOOSE WINDOW,
BUT I FIXED THAT LAST WEEK.

AND THEN I REALIZED I
FIXED ALL THE STUPID WAYS

THERE WERE TO GET
INTO YOUR HOUSE

AND I BROKE THE BACK DOOR LOCK

AND RAN INSIDE, AND
YOU WEREN'T THERE.

OH, MY GOD. IT'S
OK. I CAN FIX IT.

I'M SO SORRY, LUKE.

I WILL NEVER DO THIS
TO YOU EVER AGAIN.

I AM ABSOLUTELY HUMILIATED.

I WAS HURTING, AND I KNEW
IF I CALLED YOU, YOU'D COME.

I NEVER SHOULD HAVE
DONE THAT. IT'S OK.

NO, IT'S NOT OK. IT'S NOT OK.

I AM NOT THAT GIRL. I'M NOT THE
ONE WHO CRIES AND FALLS APART

AND CALLS HER EX-BOYFRIEND

TO COME AND SAVE HER.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING
AND FOR BREAKING MY DOOR.

YOU'RE AN AMAZING
GUY FOR DOING THAT.

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S THE TAPE FROM
YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE.

FROM MY... IT'S THE LAST
CRAZY THING YOU WILL

EVER HAVE TO ENDURE
FROM ME, I PROMISE.

I JUST WANT YOU TO
KNOW I HEARD YOU

WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU'RE OUT.

I DID. I'M GONNA RESPECT
THAT FROM NOW ON.

OK.

YOU SHOULD GO. IT'S COLD.

I'LL BE FINE.