Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 4, Episode 8 - Die, Jerk - full transcript
After receiving advice from the Yale Daily News editor on what he is looking for, Rory's next article is a huge hit with everybody except the dancer she reviewed. Richard and Emily return from their Atlantic City business trip while Lane is told to send a special jug to Dave in California. Lorelai confronts Luke about his relationship with Nicole and Bruce confronts Lorelai and her anti midwife energy on retarding the baby's acquisition rate.
♪
MORE BROCCOLI, GRANDPA?
ABSOLUTELY. STAVES
OFF THE CANCER.
STAVES OFF MY APPETITE.
YOU REALLY SHOULD EAT
MORE GREEN THINGS, LORELAI.
I PLAN TO EAT A $5
BILL LATER TONIGHT.
OH, HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW $20s?
THEY HAVE A PEACH COLOR IN THEM.
PEACH? PERFECT.
I'LL EAT A NEW $20, I'LL HAVE
MY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.
I THINK WE SAW
SOME OF THE NEW $20s
IN ATLANTIC CITY,
DIDN'T WE, EMILY?
I THINK.
HOW WAS ATLANTIC
CITY? SUCCESSFUL?
VERY.
WELL, SISKEL'S CHIMED
IN. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I'M REFRAINING.
IT'S A BIT OF A SORE SUBJECT.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
THE GARISHNESS. THE GARISHNESS!
THUS SPAKE EBERT.
WHY HAVE A SIMPLE SIGN,
IF IT CAN BE IN BRIGHT,
FLASHING NEON?
AND THE NEW SLOT MACHINES,
THEY DON'T JUST MAKE
OBNOXIOUS BELL SOUNDS ANYMORE.
THEY YELL AT YOU!
THE SLOT MACHINES WERE TALKING
TO YOU? SURE IT WASN'T YOU?
OH, THEY TALK. I
CAN VERIFY THAT.
ONE OF THEM KEPT YELLING,
"WHEEL OF FORTUNE!"
THE PARKING LOT OF THE HOTEL THAT
WE STAYED AT, HAD AN AREA FOR R.V.s.
PERISH THE THOUGHT.
AND THE BOARDWALK.
OH, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE
THE ATLANTIC CITY BOARDWALK.
I'LL SAVE YOU A TRIP.
TIP AN OVERFLOWING TRASHCAN ON YOUR
FRONT PORCH AND WALK UP AND DOWN ON IT.
IT WAS ACTUALLY QUITE
A SUCCESSFUL OUTING.
MAYBE NOT TO OUR TASTE,
BUT THE CLIENTS LOVED IT.
THE CLIENTS WERE TOO
PLASTERED TO KNOW BETTER.
KIND OF THE POINT.
2 OF THEM STAYED UP ALL
NIGHT, AND SMELLED LIKE IT.
YEAH, THAT WAS A TAD GROSS.
ONE OF THEM, A MARRIED MAN,
HAD A LONG CONVERSATION WITH,
HOW SHALL I PUT THIS DELICATELY,
A WOMAN OF LESS THAN
REPUTABLE NATURE.
HMM. DO HOOKERS CHARGE
TO LET YOU TALK TO THEM?
DEPENDS ON WHAT THEY'RE
DOING WHEN THEY'RE TALKIN' TO YOU.
RORY. SORRY.
I EXPECT THAT FROM YOUR
MOTHER, BUT NOT YOU.
IT'S JUST A JOKE.
YEAH, MOM, YALE IS
BROADENING HER WORLD-VIEW.
DIGGER WAS IN HIS ELEMENT.
YOU MEAN JASON
WAS IN HIS ELEMENT.
HE CAROUSED ALONG
WITH THE BEST OF THEM.
YOU CAROUSE ANY, DAD?
WELL, I PLAYED A LITTLE CRAPS.
THE TABLES WERE ICE-COLD.
WHAT'S THE NEXT OUTING JASON HAS
PLANNED FOR YOUR CLIENTS, RICHARD?
SPRING BREAK IN CANCUN, SO YOU
CAN DO SHOTS OFF PEOPLE'S BELLIES?
I'M UNCOMFORTABLE HEARING
YOU SAY THAT. ME, TOO.
I CAN ASSURE YOU, EMILY,
THAT THERE ARE NO BELLY
SHOTS IN OUR FUTURE.
ALTHOUGH DOING ONE
OFF DAD'S BELLY IS OK.
YOU'RE MARRIED.
AND THOSE GIFTS, THOSE
HEINOUS GIFTS HE GAVE OUT.
OH, WE HAD LITTLE
ROULETTE WHEELS
PRINTED UP WITH OUR
COMPANY NAME ON IT.
THEY WERE A BIG HIT.
PERFECT FOR AN
EXECUTIVE'S TABLE.
I GOT ONE FOR EACH OF YOU.
RICHARD DON'T.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
THEY'RE CUTE.
THEY'RE THE ANTITHESIS OF CLASS,
SO LIKE DIGGER.
EMILY, THAT WAS HIS
NICKNAME AS A BOY,
AND HE'S SENSITIVE ABOUT IT.
I'VE NEVER CALLED
HIM THAT TO HIS FACE.
YOU DID AT THAT CRAPS TABLE,
AND THEN HE SEVENED-OUT.
PLEASE, LET'S DISCUSS SOMETHING
OTHER THAN NEW JERSEY.
I AM MORE THAN WILLING.
HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS READ ANY OF
RORY'S ARTICLES IN THE YALE NEWSPAPER?
OF COURSE, WE'VE READ THEM ALL.
FINE WORK, RORY.
THE YALE DAILY NEWS
IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
OH, IT'S REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL.
HEY, THEY'RE RIGHT.
TAKE YOUR PROPS.
YOU'LL BE RUNNING
THAT PAPER BEFORE LONG.
I'M NOT EVEN ON STAFF YET.
YOU'RE NOT?
THESE ARE JUST TRYOUT
ARTICLES TO QUALIFY.
YOU HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING
FOR EVERY DEPARTMENT.
AND THEN, IF THOSE PASS
MUSTER, THEN YOU'RE ON STAFF.
WELL, YOUR COVERAGE OF THAT
LACROSSE MATCH WAS VERY EXCITING.
YEAH, FOR 2 SECONDS,
I ALMOST GAVE A FLYING
YOU-KNOW-WHAT ABOUT LACROSSE.
I LIKED YOUR COVERAGE ON
THE NEW FUNDS APPROVED
FOR UPKEEP ON THE
DIVINITY QUADRANGLE.
YOU MADE IT SING.
WE'RE HAVING ALL YOUR
ARTICLES LAMINATED.
THAT'S VERY NICE.
YES!
GOT MY NUMBER.
♪
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
A QUAINT ARCHAISM.
IF YOU'RE A GOOD JOURNALIST,
WHY MAKE YOU JUMP THROUGH HOOPS
AND WRITE ALL THESE
TRYOUT ARTICLES?
STALE BAGEL.
IT'S A TIME-HONORED TRADITION.
ALL OUR FOREBEARS HAD TO DO IT.
IF THEY HAD FOUGHT IT,
WE WOULDN'T BE
DEALING WITH IT NOW.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
MY ARTICLE.
I DID A REVIEW OF THE
CHAMBER MUSIC RECITAL.
MUST BE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.
AND THAT'S THE OTHER
THING. THEY PRINT EVERYTHING.
HMM, THAT'S WEIRD.
THEY'D PRINT MY MATTRESS
TAG IF IT FITS THE MARGINS.
IT'S NOT HERE. IMPOSSIBLE.
NO, I'VE LOOKED
PRETTY THOROUGHLY.
MUST BE A MISTAKE.
NO, IT'S REALLY NOT HERE.
JUST MEANS PARAKEETS
WILL BE CRAPPING
ON SOMETHING
ELSE IN THE MORNING.
THEY'RE ALL STALE.
MORNING. MORNING.
HI, DOYLE.
HI, RORY. COFFEE MINT?
NO, THANKS.
I'M ADDICTED TO THESE
THINGS. SO IS BOB WOODWARD.
SO I HEAR. NOT THAT I'M
COPYING HIM. WHAT'S UP?
I WAS WONDERING IF THERE
WAS A PROBLEM WITH MY REVIEW.
YOUR REVIEW? WHICH
WAS YOURS, THE QUARTET?
CHAMBER MUSIC AT SPRAGUE HALL.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
DID I GET IT IN LATE?
NO, RIGHT ON TIME.
YOU'RE GOOD ABOUT THAT.
BUT YOU DIDN'T
PRINT IT. NO, WE DIDN'T.
SO, SPACE ISSUE?
NO, WE HAVE THE SPACE,
WE ALWAYS HAVE THE SPACE.
IT WAS JUST A BIT OF A YAWN.
A YAWN? YEAH.
WELL, YOU KNOW,
CHAMBER MUSIC RECITALS
ARE VERY LOW-KEY,
KIND OF YAWNY AFFAIRS.
PRETTY MUSIC, BUT NO
STAGE DIVING OR ANYTHING.
I MEANT THE WRITING.
THE WRITING WAS KIND OF A YAWN?
HEY, DON'T SWEAT IT.
YOU'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
RIGHT, SURE. MY MOTHER LIKED IT.
LIKED WHAT? THE RECITAL.
SHE'S OLD. EXCUSE ME.
SURE. SURE.
YOUR ARTICLE DIDN'T
GET IN? NO, IT DIDN'T.
MINE DID. GOOD. GOOD.
I'M GOING TO GET A BAGEL.
HE ACTUALLY USED
THE WORD "YAWN"?
YES. WHAT A JERK.
YOU SHOULD PUNCH
HIM WHERE IT COUNTS.
HE'S JUST DOING HIS JOB.
HE COULD'VE BEEN
MORE DIPLOMATIC.
THE WORD "YAWN" IS INSULTING.
I WAS ACTUALLY
TIRED WHEN I WROTE IT,
SO IT PROBABLY
WASN'T MY BEST WORK.
I SHOULD WRITE MY ARTICLES
AT NIGHT FIRST, THEN STUDY.
I STILL SAY YAWN GUY
NEEDS A LITTLE LEARNIN'.
YEAH. KICK HIM WHERE
THE SUN DON'T SHINE.
YOU REALLY ARE NOT
GOOD AT THREATS.
I KNOW, AND I HATE THAT.
I'LL JUST CHALK IT
IN TO EXPERIENCE.
HEY, WHAT TIME DO YOU HAVE?
UH, 3:55.
5 MINUTES TO MY CALL WITH
DAVE. I SHOULD GET HOME.
HEY, ARE WE STILL MAD AT HIM?
WE NEVER WERE.
THAT'S RIGHT. MUST BE JACKSON.
WE'RE MAD AT JACKSON FOR
SOMETHING HE SAID TO SOOKIE.
NO, WE'RE NOT. YOU SURE?
YES.
MUST BE GYPSY. WE'RE
MAD AT HER HUSBAND?
SHE'S NOT MARRIED.
THIS IS GONNA BUG ME.
SO, HOW IS DAVE? HE'S GREAT.
I JUST WISH HE WEREN'T
3,000 MILES AWAY.
HOW DID HE TAKE THE
NEWS THAT YOU FOUND
A REPLACEMENT
FOR HIM IN THE BAND?
HE WAS A LITTLE WEIRD ABOUT IT.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE MAD AT HIM.
WE'RE NOT MAD AT DAVE.
MUST BE JACKSON.
I MISS THAT BOY.
HE'LL BE HOME FOR
CHRISTMAS, RIGHT?
HE'D BETTER BE.
THIS IS MY STOP.
SAY HI TO THE BABY FOR ME.
FIND OUT WHO WE'RE MAD AT.
WE'RE NOT MAD AT ANYBODY.
WE'RE ALWAYS MAD AT SOMEBODY.
HI. DOOR IS OPEN.
AREN'T THEY HOME?
THEY ARE HOME. I'M
NOT WELCOME IN IT.
WHAT?
LORELAI, COME ON IN.
I'M BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST.
GO, ENJOY.
MICHEL CAN'T COME IN? NO.
I'M ROSA PARKS.
WHY CAN'T ROSA PARKS
COME IN? HE SNEEZED.
5 DAYS AGO.
I CAN'T TAKE A
CHANCE WITH THE BABY.
IT'S A BUSINESS MEETING.
THE BABY SHOULD NOT ATTEND.
HE'S A WEEK OLD. SHOULD
HE TAKE IN A MOVIE?
I GOT DUST UP MY NOSE.
IT MADE ME SNEEZE.
I AM NOT SICK.
COME ON IN.
SORRY.
OH, NO. WHEW.
NOT FUNNY.
THERE HE IS.
OH, LITTLE DAVEY,
LITTLE DAVEY,
PEEKABOO, PEEKABOO.
OH, YOU HAVE A WIDDLE NOSE.
OH, NO, AUNT LORELAI'S
GOT YOUR NOSE.
DO YOU WANT IT
BACK? DO YOU? DO YOU?
HE'S NOT INDICATING
THAT HE WANTS IT BACK.
WELL, THEN I'M GOING TO KEEP IT.
THIS IS PAINFUL.
YOU KNOW, HE SAID HIS
FIRST WORD THIS MORNING.
WHO? MICHEL?
WHAT DID HE SAY?
HE SAID, "A-OOPAH."
OH, DID YOU SAY
"A-OOPAH"? DID YOU?
WELL, YOU'RE VERY
TALENTED. DID YOU KNOW THAT?
IF I THROW UP, DO YOU WANT IT
ON THE BUSHES OR THE GRASS?
MICHEL, DON'T YOU LIKE BABIES?
I DON'T KNOW. I'VE
NEVER BEEN NEAR ONE.
I THOUGHT TODAY WAS MY CHANCE.
I BROUGHT PASTRIES.
EXCELLENT. DO YOU
WANT ONE, MICHEL?
SO I CAN LOOK EVEN SADDER,
SITTING AND EATING
PASTRY BY MYSELF?
NO, THANK YOU. CAN WE START?
OK.
WELL, I'M HERE TO REPORT
THAT THE DRAGONFLY
IS OFFICIALLY DEMOED
AND STRIPPED TO ITS STUDS,
TO THE POINT WHERE IT
LOOKS WORSE THAN EVER
AND YOU CAN'T IMAGINE IT
EVER LOOKING GOOD AGAIN.
EXCELLENT.
THERE ARE BIG FLYING
THINGS OUT HERE.
BUT WE'RE ON SCHEDULE.
WHEN I LEFT, THE PLUMBING
CONTRACTOR WAS UNLOADING ALL SORTS
OF IMPRESSIVE-LOOKING
COPPER PIPES,
SO THAT'S SOMETHING,
I GUESS, AND... OH.
BRUCE. HELLO.
I THOUGHT YOU'D GONE.
I CAME BACK.
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
BRUCE IS NOT ONLY A MIDWIFE,
SHE'S ALSO A LACTATION SPECIALIST.
YIKES. UGH.
IS THAT THE SNEEZER?
IT WAS DUST.
WHAT ARE THESE BIG
GREEN THINGS WITH WINGS?
YOU KNOW, BRUCE, I DIDN'T
GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU
HOW IMPRESSED I WAS
BY THE HOME BIRTH.
IT WAS JUST AMAZING TO
WATCH AND VERY, VERY SPECIAL.
DID YOU TALK BABY TALK TO DAVEY?
YES.
EVERY SECOND DAVEY'S
BRAIN IS HARD-WIRING FOR LIFE.
BABY TALK CAN RETARD HIS
LANGUAGE ACQUISITION RATE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
DEFINITELY NOT. I
WANT HIM FULLY TARDED.
THIS FLYING GREEN
THING IS TOYING WITH ME.
IN 5 MINUTES WE'LL FEED.
5 MINUTES.
DID I TELL YOU SHE
DONATES HER SERVICES
TO INDIGENT INNER-CITY MOTHERS?
IT'S OK.
ALL RIGHT, THIS THING IS
GETTING READY TO DIVE-BOMB.
SO, DAVEY, BEAUTIFUL DAY, HUH?
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DISCUSS?
MIDDLE-EAST PEACE,
THE SPACE PROGRAM?
I'M SORRY, WHAT'S THAT?
OH, MY GOD.
HE SAID, "THE ANSWER TO THE
PROBLEMS IN THE MIDEAST IS:
I HAVE TO POOP."
HE GOT DISTRACTED.
AND NOW THERE'S NO PEACE?
DAVEY, COME ON, MAN,
HARD-WIRE THOSE ADULT THOUGHTS,
AND TRY TO REMEMBER
WHAT WE'RE TALKING...
AND HE SAID THAT THURSDAY'S
IMPOSSIBLE TO START WORK.
I REMINDED HIM
ABOUT OUR CONTRACT.
YEAH.
GOOD, BECAUSE HE
NEEDED TO BE REMINDED.
SO THAT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.
I'M BEING ATTACKED
BY GREEN THINGS.
IT'S TIME TO FEED.
NO.
WELL, THIS HAS BEEN A
VERY PRODUCTIVE MEETING.
VERY.
HI, DOYLE. GOT
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
YOUR NEW REVIEW? MY NEW REVIEW.
REMEMBER THE NEW ZOO REVUE?
HENRIETTA HIPPO?
FREDDIE THE FROG. WHO WAS THE
3RD ONE? WHAT WAS THE 3RD ONE.
I'M DRAWING A
BLANK. I HATE THAT.
WHEN THERE'S 3 OF SOMETHING,
YOU FORGET THE 3RD ONE.
IT'S A STATISTICAL THING.
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME
BACK? NO, LET'S LOOK AT IT NOW.
SO. I DRANK A LOT OF
COFFEE BEFORE WRITING THIS,
SO HOPEFULLY IT WON'T BE A YAWN.
GOOD.
DOYLE? JUST A SEC.
YOU'RE CROSSING EVERYTHING
OUT. NOT EVERYTHING.
THE ONLY THING YOU HAVEN'T
CROSSED OUT IS WHAT YOU HAVEN'T READ.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, OK?
WELL, IT'S BETTER
THAN YOUR LAST ONE.
YOU'RE SHOWING PROGRESS.
OH. REALLY.
OK, IS THIS SOME KIND OF HAZING?
HAZING?
I PUT A LOT OF TIME INTO THIS.
OH, I KNOW. IT'S DEFINITELY
NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING.
IS IT SOMETHING PERSONAL? DID
I DO SOMETHING TO OFFEND YOU?
NO, RORY. THIS IS HOW IT WORKS.
IT'S NOT PERSONAL. IT'S
JUST NOT VERY GOOD.
I REWROTE IT 4 TIMES,
AND I RESEARCHED
IT SO THOROUGHLY.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FACTS.
YOU'VE GOTTEN THOSE
RIGHT. STAN, FILE THIS FOR ME.
SO, IT'S NOT GOOD?
I COULDN'T TELL WHAT
YOU REALLY THOUGHT.
BUT I TRIED SO HARD. OH, I KNOW.
SO, I SHOULD TRY LESS HARD?
LOOK. JUST WRITE WHAT YOU THINK.
YOU HAVE OPINIONS, DON'T YOU?
SURE I DO. THAT'S WHAT'LL WORK.
SOUNDS SIMPLE. IT CAN BE.
CHARLIE THE OWL.
THAT'S THE 3RD ONE.
RIGHT, RIGHT,
CHARLIE. GUESS I'LL GO.
DON'T WORRY.
EITHER YOU'LL GET THE HANG
OF THINGS, OR YOU WON'T.
UH-HUH.
JUST MAKE SURE THIS ONE'S GOOD.
GOT IT.
WOW, PRETTY. YALE'S
GOT THE BIG BUCKS. HUH?
I GUESS.
THIS IS GONNA BE
FUN. IT'S WORK FOR ME.
ARE THOSE OUR SEATS,
ALL SAVED AND EVERYTHING?
ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES
OF BEING WITH THE PRESS.
ARE YOU OK?
YEAH. I'M THE HAPPIEST UNPUBLISHED
WRITER IN THE NEWSPAPER BIZ.
YOU ARE NOT UNPUBLISHED.
I AM RECENTLY UNPUBLISHED.
DON'T FORGET YOUR
LACROSSE STORY TRIUMPH.
MAYBE LACROSSE IS THE ONLY
THING I'M GOOD AT WRITING ABOUT.
AND I'D NEVER HEARD OF IT
BEFORE I WAS ASSIGNED IT.
NOW, COME ON.
HOPEFULLY, THERE'LL
BE PLENTY OF WELL-PAID,
FULL-TIME, LACROSSE-WRITING
POSITIONS FOR ME,
AT THE MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATIONS.
YOU NEED CHOCOLATE.
CHOCOLATE AND TALENT. STOP THAT.
MAYBE I'M JUST NOT CUT OUT
FOR COLLEGE JOURNALISM.
MAYBE I PEAKED IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OH, MAN, THAT'S A
DEPRESSING THOUGHT.
YOU DIDN'T PEAK.
THIS IS JUST A DIFFERENT
ENVIRONMENT AND A BIGGER LEAGUE
AND THAT'S HALF
THE FUN, ISN'T IT?
KIND OF.
HERE WE GO.
I LOVE THESE SEATS.
THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT.
♪
OH.
WELL, SHE RECOVERED QUICKLY.
WHOA.
THE FLOOR MUST BE SLIPPERY.
YEAH.
I... I DON'T THINK THE GUY IS SUPPOSED
TO WINCE WHEN HE LIFTS THE BALLERINA.
MAYBE IT WAS INVOLUNTARY?
SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO
KICK HIM LIKE THAT, WAS SHE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
IT GIVES NEW MEANING TO
THE WORD "NUTCRACKER."
SHH!
WOW! YEAH.
THAT WAS TERRIBLE.
FROM THE OPENING KERPLUNK.
IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSE.
I'M IN PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT.
THAT LEAD BALLERINA,
SHE HAS NO FRIENDS.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
NO ONE GAVE HER THE HEADS-UP ON
THE ROLL OF FAT AROUND THE BRA STRAP.
MAYBE SHE JUST HAS NO
FRIENDS IN THE BALLET.
ALL BALLET PEOPLE DO IS BALLET.
IF SHE HAS NO FRIENDS IN THE
BALLET, SHE HAS NO FRIENDS.
HOLY MOLY.
I WONDER HOW MANY TIMES I CAN
USE THE WORD "BLOWS" IN AN ARTICLE
BEFORE IT BECOMES REDUNDANT.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WRITE?
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT
I THINK, I GUESS.
REALLY?
WELL, APPARENTLY,
THAT'S WHAT WAS MISSING
FROM MY OTHER
PIECES: MY OPINION.
IF YOU WANT MY OPINION
THAT END CURTAIN CAME
DOWN WAY TOO SLOWLY.
I'LL TRY TO WORK THAT
IN. OH, MAN. OH, MAN, OH.
IF VINCENT GALLO
COULD JUST SEE THIS
HE'D FEEL A WHOLE LOT
BETTER ABOUT BROWN BUNNY.
NICE.
NICE? REALLY GREAT JOB.
REALLY? REALLY!
OH, WOW! THANKS.
THANK YOU. STAN,
GET THIS TO LAYOUT.
YEAH.
I LOVE DOING THAT. AND
YOU LOOK GOOD DOING IT.
COFFEE MINT?
THANKS.
THIS PIECE IS BEAUTIFUL.
MY WIFE'S GONNA FLIP.
GOOD. IT'S VERY FRAGILE, SO KEEP
IT AWAY FROM YOUNG CHILDREN.
WE DON'T HAVE
CHILDREN. YOU SHOULD.
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE CHILDREN.
OK. THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
LANE? YES, MAMA?
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR DAVE.
FOR DAVE, MY DAVE?
SOMETHING FOR YOU TO
SEND TO HIM IN CALIFORNIA.
SPECIAL GIFT FROM
ME TO HIM. REALLY?
COULD YOU WRAP IT AND
TAKE IT TO THE POST OFFICE?
DEFINITELY. THIS IS SWEET, MAMA.
HE'S A GOOD BOY. HE'S
GOING TO MAKE A GOOD MAN.
I AGREE.
I'M GOING TO MAKE SOME TEA.
SO, I LOOKED UP WHAT
BRUCE SAID ABOUT BABY TALK
AND SHE WAS RIGHT.
YOU SHOULD NEVER
TALK BABY TALK TO A BABY.
THAT'S SAD.
I'VE BEEN CALLING ALL MY
FRIENDS AND RELATIVES WITH BABIES
TO TELL THEM TO IMMEDIATELY
STOP TALKING TO THEM.
YOU MEAN, STOP
TALKING BABY TALK?
NO, IT'S BETTER THAT THEY
JUST STOP ALTOGETHER.
ITTLE-BITTY MICHEL.
NOW, STOP THAT.
I LIKE TALKING BABY TALK
AND I CAN'T DO IT TO
BABIES, SO I NEED AN OUTLET.
AND YOU'RE MY OUTWET, WITTLE
MICHEL WITH THE HAPPY HAIR.
GOODBYE.
YOU NO WANNA EAT?
OH, LOOK AT HIM
WALKING. BIG BOY WALKIES.
OOH!
I'M GOOD, THANK YOU.
NICOLE.
HI, LORELAI.
WOW, I'LL BE...
LOOK AT YOU THERE.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
YEAH. DOES LUKE
KNOW YOU'RE HERE?
HE'S JUST IN THE BACK.
DO YOU WANT HIM?
NO, I DON'T WANT
HIM. I DON'T WANT HIM.
I... I WAS JUST COMIN' IN FOR
A BITE WITH A FRIEND AND...
NOT MY IMAGINARY FRIEND. MY
FRIEND MICHEL WAS WITH ME, BUT,
HE DOESN'T EAT
NORMAL FOOD LIKE THIS,
SO HE'S NOT COMING
IN. SO, YOU GOOD?
VERY GOOD. AND YOU?
VERY GOOD, TOO.
I'M JUST STILL LIVING
HERE IN STARS HOLLOW,
AND, UM, RORY'S GOING
TO YALE. I KNEW THAT.
OF COURSE. NATURALLY,
YOU WOULD BE
ALL FILLED IN, 'CAUSE LUKE'S
TALKIN' TO YOU REGULARLY AND...
SO, UM,
I MET A BUNCH OF
LAWYERS FROM YOUR FIRM.
REALLY?
I DID, YES,
BECAUSE, WELL, I'M...
THEY WERE COMING IN TO SEE
LUKE, AND I'M IN HERE A LOT, SO...
RIGHT. YEAH, THEY'RE GOOD GUYS.
REALLY GOOD GUYS.
THEY LIKE YOU A LOT.
AND THEY'RE THE
PARTNERS AT MY FIRM.
WELL, SO THEY HAVE TO LIKE YOU.
SO, IS LUKE COMING OUT?
HE SHOULD BE.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT HUNGRY. NO?
I JUST REMEMBERED, I JUST ATE.
SO, BUT IT'S REALLY
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
SAME HERE.
REALLY GOOD. UH-HUH.
OK. SO.
HELLO?
OH, THANK GOD.
LANE?
I JUST HAD THE BIGGEST FIGHT WITH
DAVE THAT WE'VE EVER HAD, EVER.
AND IT'S ALL MY MOTHER'S FAULT.
YOUR MOTHER? WHY?
GET THIS. EARLIER TODAY,
MY MOM ASKED ME
TO WRAP SOMETHING
THAT SHE WANTS TO SEND TO DAVE.
IS IT HIS BIRTHDAY?
NO, THIS WAS SOMETHING
ELSE ALTOGETHER.
YOU HOLDING ON TO YOUR HAT?
I'M NOT WEARING ONE,
BUT I CAN PRETEND TO BE.
IT'S THE JUG.
WHAT JUG?
THE JUG. THE BIG JUG,
THE MONUMENTAL JUG.
WHAT JUG?
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID, MY
MOTHER SHOWED ME THIS SPECIAL JUG,
THAT'S BEEN PASSED DOWN IN
MY FAMILY FOR YEARS AND YEARS
IN A LONG-STANDING KIM TRADITION
THAT SHE'LL PERSONALLY PRESENT
TO THE BOY I'M GOING TO WED?
OH, MY GOD, THE MARRIAGE JUG?
THE MARRIAGE JUG.
SHE'S SENDING DAVE
THE MARRIAGE JUG?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I'M GUESSING IT MEANS
SHE'S RESERVING A HALL
AND ORDERING THAT "STATIONS
OF THE CROSS" ICE SCULPTURE.
WHOA, THIS IS SERIOUS.
NO KIDDING.
I HAD FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT.
I DIDN'T. IT'S BEEN ON
THAT SHELF ALL MY LIFE.
I LIKED THAT IT WAS THERE.
IT WAS A NICE THING,
A NICE TRADITION.
I HAD PLEASANT
ASSOCIATIONS WITH IT.
NOW I WANT TO BREAK
IT INTO A MILLION PIECES.
WHAT INSPIRED HER? WHO KNOWS?
HAVE YOU BEEN SENDING
OUT A VIBE OR SOMETHING?
A VIBE? NO. WHAT KIND OF VIBE?
LIKE A MARRIAGE VIBE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT
IS. MAYBE. I LOVE DAVE.
IF YOU LOVE A BOY, DO YOU
AUTOMATICALLY SEND OUT A MARRIAGE VIBE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I FEEL WEIRD JUST SAYING THAT.
WHY DID YOU AND DAVE
GET INTO A BIG FIGHT?
WELL, I DIDN'T SEND HIM THE JUG,
BUT I HAD TO GIVE HIM A HEADS-UP
IN CASE HE CALLED HERE INNOCENTLY
AND MY MOM SAID SOMETHING LIKE,
"YOU RENT THAT
TUX, YET?" SO, I DID,
HE WAS REALLY MEAN ABOUT IT. HE
WAS VERY AGAINST GETTING THE JUG.
YOU THOUGHT HE'D BE ALL FOR IT?
NO, BUT HE WAS WAY
TOO DOWN ON THE IDEA.
LANE, HE'S 18. HE JUST
STARTED COLLEGE.
I KNOW.
JUG OR NO JUG, HE'S NOT
READY TO GET MARRIED.
I KNOW.
AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
I KNOW. SOMEDAY, MAYBE.
YES, SOMEDAY. BUT NOT NOW.
GREAT. NOW WE'RE
ABOUT TO GET INTO A FIGHT?
NO, WE ARE NOT. THERE'VE
JUST BEEN ENOUGH
YOUNG PEOPLE MARRYING IN
MY LIFE. I DON'T WANT ANY MORE.
OK. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S GOING TO
EXPECT A CALL OR A NOTE FROM HIM
THANKING HIS SOON-TO-BE
MOTHER-IN-LAW, OR SHE'LL BE OFFENDED.
PROBABLY.
I GUESS I'VE GOT TO
TALK TO HER ABOUT IT.
I DON'T SEE ANY OTHER WAY.
WHOA.
WHAT?
SOMEONE WROTE SOMETHING
ON OUR DOOR. "DIE JERK."
IT SAYS "DIE JERK"?
IT'S NOT COMING OFF. WOW,
COOL THINGS LIKE THAT NEVER
HAPPEN AT ADVENTIST SCHOOL.
RORY.
SOMEONE WROTE "DIE
JERK" ON OUR DOOR.
I THOUGHT THE PERSON WHO DID IT
WAS BACK TO KEEP THE PROMISE.
WHO DID THIS? I DON'T KNOW.
WE'LL FIND OUT AND
STRIKE BACK HARD.
COME ON, WE'RE
ASSEMBLING INSIDE.
LANE, I GOTTA GO.
WE'RE ASSEMBLING.
SORRY ABOUT THE JUG.
IT'S OK. KEEP ME POSTED.
YEAH, YOU, TOO. BYE.
WHAT'S YOUR BUSINESS HERE?
FUN STUFF, HUH, GUYS?
YEAH, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I MAY'VE BEEN HERE
WHEN IT HAPPENED.
AND YOU HEARD NOTHING? NO.
WAY TO HAVE THAT RADAR UP.
LET'S NOT MAKE
EACH OTHER FEEL BAD.
HEY, HUG A DOLPHIN
ANOTHER DAY, ALL RIGHT?
WE NEED TO REV UP THE
GUNSHIPS AND RETALIATE.
WE GOTTA GO FULL-OUT SHARON.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
THERE'S GONNA BE ANOTHER STRIKE?
YOU WANNA WAIT TO FIND OUT?
NOW FIRST, WE SHOULD EACH
MAKE A LIST OF OUR ENEMIES,
STARTING WITH MOST RECENT,
AND WORKING OUR WAY BACK.
CAN'T WE LET THIS GO?
IT MAY JUST BE A JOKE.
I'M NOT LAUGHING.
ANYONE HERE LAUGHING?
I... I GUESS IT IS VANDALISM.
MORE THAN THAT.
THIS IS AN ASSAULT
THAT SHOULD BE MET HEAD-ON
USING EXTREME PREJUDICE.
NOW, LET'S FACE IT. I'M
THE MOST LIKELY TARGET.
SO I'VE ALREADY MADE
UP A LIST OF ENEMIES,
WHICH I'VE NARROWED
DOWN FROM 26 TO 5.
JUST AT YALE? JUST
IN THIS BUILDING.
MAYBE WE SHOULD MOVE.
RETREAT? I THINK NOT.
THERE'S A GIRL IN MY VOLLEYBALL
TEAM WHO'S LIVID AT ME.
I KISSED HER BOYFRIEND.
I'M EXCEEDINGLY DULL.
KEEP HER CLOSE. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ME?
MADE ANYONE MAD LATELY?
OH, PLEASE, THAT WOULD BE LIKE
DOROTHY PISSING OFF THE TIN MAN.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I'M
NOT LEAVING MY ROOM.
I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED
ON MY PERSON.
MY 5 ARE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF.
THEY'RE TAKEN CARE OF?
I GOT MY EAST SIDE
860 PARTNERS ON IT.
NOW, LET'S MOVE.
WANT TO WATCH TV?
SOMETHING LIGHT.
I'M WITH YOU.
HI, LUKE. HEY. TAKE
A SEAT ANYWHERE.
VERY HUNGRY.
YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE
IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
TWICE. WHAT?
THIS IS MY 2ND TRIP TODAY.
OH, RIGHT, YEAH. WELL,
Y-Y-YOU DIDN'T EAT?
OH, YOU KNEW I WAS HERE?
WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY?
I WASN'T THAT HUNGRY. WELL.
SO, WHAT'S NEW?
UH, GOT SOME NEW COFFEE POTS.
ANYTHING ELSE? NEW FILTERS.
ANYTHING ELSE? NO.
ANYTHING ELSE?
OTHER THAN "NO"? NO.
NICOLE, LUKE. NICOLE WAS HERE.
SHE'S THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU
THAT I WAS HERE AND DIDN'T STAY.
SHE'S NEW. NOTHING NEW?
WELL, YOU SAW
HER, SO IT'S NOT NEW.
OH, IT'S SO NEW.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON THERE?
WELL, WE'RE KIND OF
SEEING EACH OTHER, AGAIN.
THANK YOU. AND, BOY!
IT'S NOT HEAVY-DUTY.
SO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING
DIVORCED? YEAH, WE PUT IT ON HOLD.
PUT THE DIVORCE ON HOLD? YEAH.
CAN YOU DO THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S ALL NEW TO ME.
SO, UM, IS SHE
MOVING IN WITH YOU?
NO.
WHAT NO? YOU'RE HUSBAND AND
WIFE. IT'S NOT A CRAZY QUESTION.
YEAH, WE'RE MAN AND WOMAN.
WE'RE SEEING EACH OTHER AS
IF WE'RE NOT HUSBAND AND WIFE.
AH, WELL.
THE STATE OF CONNECTICUT
SEES IT DIFFERENTLY.
TO THE STATE, YOU'RE
SHARING A TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
AND DECIDING TOGETHER WHETHER
THERE'S ENOUGH IN THE DISHWASHER
TO JUSTIFY RUNNING IT.
HOPEFULLY, THE STATE
WILL STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
NOW, WHAT ABOUT
TAXES? WHAT ABOUT 'EM?
WELL, YOU FILE SINGLE,
JOINTLY? I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU DO?
THAT'S NOT FOR MONTHS.
YOU CAN'T PUT IT OFF.
I'M NOT DOING MY
TAXES RIGHT NOW.
CAPONE? WHAT?
THEY GOT HIM FOR TAX EVASION.
I DON'T PLAN ON
EVADING MY TAXES.
LOOK, WHY ARE YOU PRESSING THIS?
BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD.
YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD?
YES. I... I AM A CROSS
SECTION OF THE COMMUNITY.
IF I THINK IT'S WEIRD, THEN
RORY THINKS IT'S WEIRD.
IF RORY THINKS THAT, THEN MISS PATTY
THINKS THAT, AND SO ON AND SO ON.
WE'RE JUST NOT DEALIN'
WITH IT RIGHT NOW.
WE'RE JUST LETTIN' THINGS
HAPPEN AS THEY HAPPEN.
WE'RE GOIN' WITH THE FLOW.
YOU'RE GOIN' WITH THE FLOW?
WE'RE GOING WITH THE FLOW.
OH, THAT'S SO STRUM YOUR SITAR,
DIG THE MAHARISHI,
PASS THE OWSLEY, SUMMER OF LOVE,
FLOWER POWER, HIPPIE-DIPPIE.
CAN'T STAND IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT
EXPECTING A WEDDING PRESENT.
'CAUSE I'M, JUST,
PUTTIN' IT ON HOLD
TILL THIS WHOLE THING CLEARS UP.
FINE.
IT'S A GOOD PRESENT.
YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT YET.
IT WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD PRESENT.
LOOK, WHAT IS IT?
Y-YOU DON'T LIKE NICOLE?
I LIKE NICOLE. SHE'S VERY NICE.
I DON'T THINK SHE LIKES ME.
SHE LIKES YOU FINE.
AND, YES, SHE IS VERY NICE.
AND I MISSED HER AND
SHE MISSED ME AND...
SO WE'RE DATIN' AGAIN
PUTTIN' OFF THE HASSLE OF
GETTING A STUPID DIVORCE.
AVOIDING THAT HASSLE IS
THE NICE FRINGE BENEFIT
OF GETTIN' BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
UH-HUH, THE HASSLE. NOW
WE'RE GETTING DOWN TO IT.
IF THE DIVORCE WASN'T A HASSLE,
WOULD YOU HAVE GOTTEN
BACK TOGETHER WITH HER?
I DON'T WANNA TALK
ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.
IS THAT WHY WE'RE FRIENDS,
'CAUSE IT'LL BE A HASSLE TO TELL
ME YOU DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS?
WHAT DO YOU WANNA EAT?
EATING'S A HASSLE.
I'LL JUST STARVE.
FINE. AND I'LL
STARVE RIGHT HERE,
BECAUSE IT'D BE TOO BIG A
HASSLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE.
I'LL WORK AROUND YOU.
AND IF IT'S TOO BIG A HASSLE
TO GET RID OF MY BODY
AFTER I DIE OF STARVATION,
JUST LEAVE IT HERE TO DECOMPOSE
ALL NICE AND QUIET. NO HASSLE.
GOOD. SEE YOU.
WOW, SHE'S MOVING.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT
THE DECOMPOSING HERE.
BUT YOU STILL HAVEN'T
EATEN. I'M NOT HUNGRY, AGAIN.
FINE. SEE YOU.
AND I LIKED THE OLD COFFEE POTS.
THE NEW ONES LOOK STUPID.
HEY, SOMEONE WAS
LOOKING FOR YOU.
OH, WHO?
IT'S PROBABLY BETTER
THAT THEY DON'T FIND YOU.
YOU ARE VERY BRAVE. WHAT?
IF YOU HEAR THE RUSTLE OF
TULLE COMING UP BEHIND YOU, RUN.
THAT'S GREAT.
YEAH. SHE'S OVER THERE.
RORY GILMORE?
YEAH. REMEMBER ME?
I DON'T THINK SO.
THAT'S VERY FLATTERING.
CAN I HELP YOU?
LET'S SEE IF THIS
JOGS YOUR MEMORY.
I HAVE THE GRACE OF A
DRUNKEN DOCK WORKER?
OH. REMEMBER ME NOW?
THE BALLERINA FROM THE BALLET.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR OUTFITS ARE MADE
OF TULLE, AREN'T THEY?
YOU'RE A JERK!
I KNOW. YOU WROTE
THAT ON MY DOOR.
YOU'RE LUCKY THAT'S ALL I
DID. SHOULD WE GO ELSEWHERE?
YOUR REVIEW WAS MEAN,
PETTY, AND DESPICABLE.
LOOK, SANDRA. THAT'S
YOUR NAME, RIGHT?
SANDRA, THIS WAS ALL
IN THE LINE OF DUTY.
IT WAS AN ASSIGNMENT
FROM MY EDITOR,
SO, THERE WAS
NOTHING PERSONAL, OK?
YOU CALLED ME A HIPPO.
NO, I COMPARED YOU TO A HIPPO.
THAT'S NOT CALLING YOU A HIPPO.
AND IT WAS A
HUMOROUS COMPARISON.
I WAS TRYING TO... TO
DESTROY ME AND MY COMPANY.
NO. AND THINK ABOUT IT,
I BET THAT, MORE THAN LIKELY,
VERY FEW PEOPLE WILL
EVEN READ THE REVIEW.
AND MOST PEOPLE AREN'T EVEN
INTERESTED IN BALLET IN THE FIRST PLACE.
IT'S UNFORTUNATE AND
AWFUL, AND I HATE IT.
BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO?
IT'S AVRIL LAVIGNE'S
WORLD. WE'RE JUST LIVIN' IN IT.
PLUS, MOST PEOPLE LEFT BEFORE
THE END, AND I STUCK IT OUT.
THAT'S SOMETHING.
I'M CURIOUS.
HOW MUCH BALLET
EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE?
YOU MUST HAVE A LOT, SINCE YOU
WRITE ABOUT IT WITH SUCH AUTHORITY.
WELL, NONE TO SPEAK OF.
I HAD A FEW YEARS
OF BEGINNERS'
CLASS, AND I STUNK.
ANYBODY WRITE
ABOUT IT IN THE PAPER?
NO. GOOD POINT.
I'VE BEEN DANCING,
3 HOURS A DAY,
7 DAYS A WEEK, FOR 14 YEARS.
I'VE DONE 2 SUMMER SESSIONS
WITH THE MIAMI BALLET.
AND I'M ON THE WAITING
LIST AT JUILLIARD.
AND NOW YOUR REVIEW IS OUT
THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!
LOOK, I... YOU'RE A JERK!
I JUST WANTED TO COME
TELL YOU THAT TO YOUR FACE.
YOU'RE A JERK,
AND I HOPE YOU DIE.
BYE, JERK. DIE, JERK!
THE DOOR THING, WAS ABOUT YOU?
APPARENTLY.
THE STRIKE IS OFF.
STAND DOWN. I
REPEAT, STAND DOWN.
HI, MOM.
COME IN, COME IN.
OOH, YOU LOOK TENSER THAN USUAL.
WHAT'S WRONG?
OH, IT'S YOUR FATHER. I WANTED
HIM TO GO UPSTAIRS AND CLEAN UP
BUT I CAN'T PRY HIM AWAY
FROM THAT PARTNER OF HIS.
HMM. DIGGER'S HERE?
THEY'RE IN THE STUDY DOING
SOMETHING COMPUTERY.
WHEN DID WE SUDDENLY BECOME
SO DEPENDENT ON COMPUTERS?
FINALLY.
HOW FAR CAN I GO, JASON?
AS FAR AS YOU WANT. IT
SHOULD WORK ANYWHERE.
FANTASTIC.
RICHARD, OUR COMPANY'S HERE.
WE HAVE COMPANY?
OH, ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST ME.
OH, WELL, I SUPPOSE
YOU'RE COMPANY.
SAY, ARE YOU AND RORY WIRELESS?
OH, NO, WE'RE PRETTY
WIRED MOST OF THE TIME.
WHY ARE YOU CARRYING THAT?
WE'RE TESTING IT.
JASON HERE HAS JUST
HELPED ME HOOK UP
A WIRELESS NETWORK FOR
THE HOUSE. WI-FI, IT'S CALLED.
AH, NEAT.
IS THAT NECESSARY?
OH, LORELAI, THIS
IS JASON STILES.
WE'VE MET. REALLY?
EMILY, THEY KNEW EACH
OTHER AS KIDS. YOU KNEW THAT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
OH, SAME HERE.
LOOK AT THIS! I'M
WALKING AROUND,
AND I'M STILL ON THE INTERNET.
EMILY, I'M GOING TO GOOGLE YOU.
YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT
GOING TO GOOGLE ME.
IT'S A SEARCH ENGINE, EMILY.
HE'S JUST GONNA FIND
YOU OUT IN CYBERSPACE.
THIS SOUNDS ABSURD.
NO. CAN'T USE A LAPTOP HERE.
THE SIGNAL DOESN'T REACH.
WHEN DO YOU PLAN TO USE IT IN
THE DARK CORNER BY THE STAIRCASE?
WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW.
I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF YOUR
USING IT ANYWHERE BUT YOUR STUDY.
I'M JUST TESTING IT.
THEY'RE ALWAYS FIGHTING
OVER TOYS, THESE TWO.
IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR OUT HERE.
RICHARD, IT'S FREEZING OUTSIDE.
I WON'T BE A MINUTE.
RIDICULOUS.
I HAVE TO GO CHECK
ON DINNER. EXCUSE ME.
SO, UM, HOW HAVE YOU
BEEN THESE PAST 25 YEARS?
GOOD. MOVED OUT OF
MY PARENTS' HOUSE.
RAD. LOVE THE FREEDOM.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
HIDE THE BONG ANYMORE.
HEY, DID YOU GET
ANY FLOWERS LATELY?
UH, SEVERAL TIMES.
APPARENTLY I HAVE
A SECRET ADMIRER.
I SIGNED ALL THE CARDS "JASON."
I THOUGHT IT WAS
JASON PRIESTLEY.
YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED.
NO, I JUST WISH I HADN'T
SLEPT WITH JASON PRIESTLEY.
HOW'S THE NEW INN? COMING
ALONG. WE'RE GONNA HAVE HORSES.
TALKING HORSES?
NO, JUST THE REGULAR ONES.
WE COULD GET MARRIED THERE.
WHERE? THE INN, ON HORSEBACK.
OH. SO, YOU UNWIRED
MY FATHER, HUH?
PER RICHARD'S
REQUEST. HE WANTED IT.
EMILY DOESN'T.
I CANNOT WIN WITH HER.
YOU'RE GETTIN' THE
TRIPLE FREEZE FROM HER.
TAKES THE ONUS OFF HER DAUGHTER.
THE MORE SHE HATES ME, THE MORE
LIKELY IT IS THAT YOU'LL DATE ME.
THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY THE CASE.
GOOD, BECAUSE I GOTTA MAKE
SOME SERIOUS PROGRESS WITH HER.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. MAYBE I
SHOULD GET HER TO INVITE ME TO DINNER.
HA! HEY.
I'M SORRY. AS IF YOU
CONTROL THESE THINGS.
WELL, I'M NOT GOD,
BUT I HAVE INFLUENCE.
NO WAY IS SHE
INVITING YOU TO DINNER.
WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH ME STAYING FOR DINNER?
NO. YOU WON'T STAY
BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE INVITED.
I WILL. LET'S SEE IT.
HEY.
HI, HON.
JASON, THIS IS MY DAUGHTER
RORY. RORY, JASON.
RIGHT. SCOOPER.
DIGGER. SORRY. DIGGER.
IT'S NICE TO MEET
YOU. AND I DON'T REALLY
GO BY "DIGGER" ANYMORE.
WHAT IS IT, "P. DIGGER" NOW?
I'LL JUST CALL YOU JASON.
YOU'RE A VERY KIND YOUNG LADY.
OH, DEAR.
JASON, I JUST HIT F12, AND
EVERYTHING'S GOING TO HELL.
EASILY FIXED.
HEY. HOW ARE THINGS?
SURREAL. ON A WHOLE
NEW LEVEL OF SURREAL.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I WAS HARANGUED BY
AN INCENSED BALLERINA.
THAT IS SALVADOR DALI SURREAL.
WHAT BALLERINA?
FROM THE BALLET WE WENT
TO, THE ONE I WROTE ABOUT.
THIS GIRL MARCHED UP
TO ME IN THE DINING HALL
AND BUSTED ME ON THE
BAD REVIEW I GAVE HER.
UH, WAIT A SECOND.
ARE PEOPLE ALLOWED
TO YELL AT THE REVIEWER?
I FROWN ON IT.
I MEAN, IT'S UPSETTING
AND RIDICULOUS.
I'LL PROBABLY LAUGH AT IT
SOMEDAY, BUT NOT TODAY.
WHAT DID YOU WRITE?
I BROUGHT IT FOR YOU TO
READ. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK,
BECAUSE MY PICKY EDITOR
LOVED IT. I MEAN, LOVED IT.
SURE, SURE. THIS IS VERY WEIRD.
VERY WEIRD.
WHOA.
WHAT?
YOU REALLY HATED THIS BALLET.
WE BOTH REALLY
HATED IT. REMEMBER?
YEAH, I DO.
JEEZ!
OH, NOW, COME ON.
THIS IS JUST SO HARSH.
AGAIN, YOU WERE THERE.
I KNOW. BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT SEEING IT IN PRINT.
PEOPLE DON'T WRITE
AS MEAN AS THEY TALK,
EXCEPT YOU.
I WROTE WHAT I FELT.
"THE ROLL AROUND THE BRA STRAP"?
THAT WAS YOUR LINE!
IT WAS? I'M AWFUL.
IT'S NOT EVEN CRITICAL
OF THE BALLERINA'S SKILLS.
IT'S CRITICAL OF THE
COSTUMER'S SKILLS.
BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE COULDN'T
FIT INTO A STANDARD LEOTARD.
SHE COULDN'T!
BUT AGAIN, THE COSTUMER
SHOULD HAVE PUT HER
IN A LARGER LEOTARD.
DO I SEE THE WORD
"HIPPO" COMING UP?
G-GIVE ME THE PAPER.
I'M SORRY. IT'S
JUST SO SPECIFIC.
IT'S WHAT I SAW, SO I WROTE IT.
THAT'S WHAT THE
EDITOR TOLD ME TO DO.
THEN YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
I WAS TOO HARSH.
YOU SAID YOURSELF, YOU
WERE SUPPOSED TO BE.
RORY, YOU'RE HERE. GOOD.
HI, GRANDMA.
DON'T TELL ME RICHARD
IS STILL TRAIPSING AROUND
WITH THAT THING.
RICHARD, PLEASE COME
INSIDE AND CLOSE THE DOOR.
COMING, COMING.
OH, JASON, YOU'RE STILL HERE.
OH, I WOULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT
SAYING GOODBYE TO YOU, EMILY.
WHAT YOU GOT THERE, GRANDPA?
A LAPTOP.
THE GILMORE HOUSE
IS NOW WIRELESS.
COOL.
AND THE LAPTOP IS NOW
GOING BACK IN ITS CASE
BECAUSE DINNER IS READY.
I'LL BE TAKING OFF. I'VE GOT A
CHEESEBURGER WAITING FOR ME.
GOODBYE, JASON.
A CHEESEBURGER?
THAT'S NOT A PROPER MEAL.
OH, PLEASE, RICHARD,
IT'S MY FAVORITE MEAL.
I'VE HAD ONE 3 TIMES THIS WEEK.
YOU'RE JOKING.
WITH THE RIGHT BREAD AND MEAT, A
CHEESEBURGER CAN MAKE A FINE MEAL.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE DEFENDING CHEESEBURGERS?
WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU HAD ONE?
THIS ISN'T JUST ANY
CHEESEBURGER, RICHARD.
THERE'S THIS STAND THAT
MAKES THEM SPECIAL FOR ME.
A STAND?
I HEAR THOSE CAN BE VERY GOOD.
ARE WE GOING TO SEND THIS YOUNG
BACHELOR OUT FOR FAST FOOD?
OH, NO, NO, NO. I COULDN'T STAY.
I'D BE PUTTING YOU OUT.
NONSENSE.
I'M NOT SURE WE HAVE ENOUGH.
WE ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH.
NO, NO, NO, NO. I
WOULDN'T HEAR OF IT.
EMILY, MY BUSINESS PARTNER
IS GOING TO BE STANDING OUTSIDE
EATING A CHEESEBURGER.
JASON, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO JOIN US FOR DINNER?
THE CHEESEBURGER
WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT.
I'LL TELL THE COOK.
CHEESEBURGER.
THIS FOOD IS INCREDIBLE, EMILY.
YEAH. IT'S MY FIRST
LOBSTER THERMIDOR.
YOUR RECIPE?
NO.
HEY, CAN YOU
THERMIDOR OTHER FOODS
YOU KNOW, FISH THERMIDOR,
UH, SPAM THERMIDOR,
ENCHILADAS THERMIDOR?
I DON'T THINK SO.
CORA, SINCE WE'RE
5 INSTEAD OF 4,
RICHARD AND I WILL
RATION IF WE HAVE TO.
OH, I DON'T THINK RATIONING
WILL BE NECESSARY.
YEAH. YOU CAN JUST
PICK OFF MY PLATE.
YOU'VE FORGOTTEN ALL
ABOUT THAT BURGER, I HOPE.
AFTER THE FIRST MOUTHFUL. GOOD.
HAVING A COMPUTER WITH A
HIGH-SPEED INTERNET ACCESS
IS GONNA FREE UP
YOUR TIME ENORMOUSLY.
OH, I SHOULD SAY SO. HOW?
HOW IS IT GONNA
FREE UP HIS TIME? YES.
WELL, HE'LL BE USING
E-MAIL MORE, WHICH MEANS
FEWER PHONE CALLS WITH CHIT-CHAT
THAT YOU HAVE TO DO BEFORE
YOU GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
THAT'S WHAT EATS
UP MOST OF THE TIME.
E-MAIL SEEMS VERY COLD TO ME.
BUT FAST.
FAST ISN'T ALWAYS BETTER.
A GOOD POINT, AND VERY TRUE.
OH, JASON WAS SAYING YOU'LL
GET USE OUT OF THIS SYSTEM, TOO.
ME? HOW?
THE INTERNET. HAVE
YOU CHECKED IT OUT?
I'D HAVE NO USE FOR IT.
I WOULDN'T DISMISS IT SO FAST.
THE INTERNET IS MORE
THAN JUST GOOD PORN.
YEAH, I'M ON IT CONSTANTLY.
WHAT DO YOU USE IT FOR?
RESEARCH, LIKE FOR WHEN
I CAN'T GET TO THE LIBRARY.
AND FOR SHOPPING.
YEAH, SHOPPING.
A LOT OF SHOPPING. SHOPPING?
THE STORES YOU NORMALLY HAVE TO
GO TO, THEY'RE ON THE INTERNET NOW.
BUT GOING TO A NICE STORE
IS HALF THE FUN OF SHOPPING.
I LIKE BEING GREETED
AT THE DOOR,
AND THE BUSTLE OF PEOPLE
AND THE SHOES AND CLOTHES
ALL LINED UP NICE AND PRETTY.
THAT'S TRUE.
YEAH, WE LIKE THAT, TOO.
HAVING SOMEONE HELP YOU
PICK OUT THE RIGHT THING
OR HELP YOU EXCHANGE
IT IF IT'S NOT RIGHT.
WITH THE INTERNET, WHAT
DO YOU DO, MAIL IT BACK?
WE USUALLY JUST FORGET. YEAH.
SO YOU'RE JUST OUT THE MONEY?
PRETTY MUCH.
I DON'T GET IT.
I DON'T GET IT ANYMORE, EITHER.
WE SHOULD GO TO REAL
STORES MORE OFTEN.
BUT THE INTERNET IS REALLY GOOD.
THANKS.
SO, WHICH CAMP WAS
IT WHERE YOU TWO MET?
MMM. IT HAD A FUNNY
NAME AND CANOES.
THEY ALL HAVE FUNNY NAMES AND
CANOES. WAS IT, UH, CAMP WAZIYATAH?
DOESN'T SOUND FAMILIAR.
WHICH ONE ASKED ME TO LEAVE?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF CAMP?
I TRIED TO LIBERATE THE HORSES.
CAMP CHATAGUAY.
THAT'S WHERE WE MET.
THAT'S THE ONE.
I ENJOYED CAMP. MADE SOME GOOD
FRIENDS. I MET YOUR FATHER THERE.
DAD? REALLY?
WE BUNKED TOGETHER FOR A SUMMER.
INCREDIBLE ATHLETE AND A
GOOD GUY. A REALLY GOOD GUY.
HE HATED YOU. WHAT?
WITH A PASSION. NO, I
DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
I'M PRETTY SURE.
DIDN'T HE TRY TO DUNK
YOUR HEAD IN A TOILET BOWL
AFTER YOU HECKLED HIM DURING
SOME CAMPFIRE TALENT SHOW?
NO, I DON'T... OH, MY GOD!
I'VE BEEN REPRESSING THAT.
OH, THAT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE CHRISTOPHER.
NO, IT'S OK, RICHARD. I'M
POSITIVE I DESERVED IT.
RORY, I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO MENTION TO YOU
WE READ THAT WONDERFUL
REVIEW YOU WROTE ON THE BALLET.
IT WAS EXCELLENT.
YOU EVISCERATED THAT GIRL.
I ACTUALLY DIDN'T MEAN
TO EVISCERATE HER.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE HONEST.
WELL, YOU HONESTLY SLICED HER
OPEN AND RIPPED OUT HER GUTS.
YOUR PEN WAS YOUR KNIFE.
RIGHT.
I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE
REFERENCE TO THE HIPPO.
THAT SEEMS TO BE THE
MOST MEMORABLE FOR PEOPLE.
AND THE BRA STRAP.
I'LL GIVE YOU A COPY OF
IT TO READ. IT'S TERRIFIC.
IT SOUNDS INTERESTING.
I JUST WROTE WHAT I THOUGHT.
AND THE LINE ABOUT
REGRETTING HOW EVOLUTION
HAD LED MAN TO STAND ON 2 FEET
BECAUSE IT LED TO THIS NIGHT.
SORRY. I HADN'T READ THAT FAR.
WHY ARE YOU
APOLOGIZING? IT'S FUNNY.
THE BALLERINA HAD KIND OF A
NEGATIVE REACTION TO THE WHOLE THING.
SO WHAT? DON'T FEEL
BADLY ABOUT THIS, RORY.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON'T
KNOW AT A YOUNG AGE
THAT THEY'RE NOT GOOD
AT DOING SOMETHING.
NOW THAT POOR GIRL CAN
GO TO BUSINESS SCHOOL.
SHE'S ACTUALLY NOT
AS BAD AS SHE SOUNDS.
IT'S RARE TO READ
A TRUTHFUL REVIEW.
I WAS GOING TO GO
SEE THAT BALLET.
NOW I DON'T HAVE TO. THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME, I GUESS.
WE WERE JUST BURNED BY A
DISHONEST REVIEW IN THE COURANT.
THAT FRENCH RESTAURANT.
THEY MUST HAVE HAD THE
REVIEWER IN THEIR POCKET.
THE MAN RAVED ABOUT THIS
PLACE, AND IT WAS ABOMINABLE.
THE FOOD WAS INEDIBLE.
AND THE SERVICE? I HAD TO SNAP MY
FINGERS TO GET OUR WAITER'S ATTENTION.
AS A WOMAN OF TASTE
I COULD USE YOUR RECOMMENDATION
OF RESTAURANTS IN THE AREA.
I'VE BEEN AWAY SO LONG,
I'M JUST WOEFULLY OUT OF TOUCH.
I'M NO MORE AN EXPERT
THAN THE NEXT PERSON.
YOU'RE BEING HUMBLE.
COUGH IT UP. YOU'VE
BEEN EVERYWHERE.
MULTIPLE TIMES.
WELL, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
A PLACE FOR A BUSINESS LUNCH
YOU CAN'T DO BETTER
THAN PORTOFINO'S.
THEY GIVE YOU ATTENTIVE
SERVICE WITHOUT RUSHING YOU
AND IT'S WONDERFUL ITALIAN FOOD.
WELL, YOU CAN'T BEAT ITALIAN.
IS THERE ANYONE HERE
WHO DOESN'T LOVE ITALIAN?
NOT ME. OR ME.
GOOD TO KNOW.
ANYTHING ELSE, EMILY?
YOU NEED MORE?
PLEASE. I'M A DESPERATE MAN.
DON'T BE SHY, EMILY. YOU'RE
A WALKING ZAGAT GUIDE.
WELL, THERE'S
ALWAYS LIL'S FOR STEAK.
STEAK'S ALWAYS GOOD. I'M
GOOD WITH THAT ANYTIME.
I LOVE STEAK. REALLY?
SO STEAK IS GOOD.
HOW ABOUT ETHNIC
FOOD? INDIAN? THAI?
I PERSONALLY DETEST THAI FOOD.
ME, TOO. CHINESE IS GOOD.
AS LONG AS IT'S AUTHENTIC.
SO CROSS THAI OFF THE LIST.
I WOULD. SAME HERE.
HOW ABOUT SOMETHING WITH A
MORE ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE?
WHY WOULD YOU NEED A
ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE
FOR BUSINESS?
YEAH, WHY?
I'D LIKE TO KNOW MYSELF.
A CLIENT MIGHT WANT A
RECOMMENDATION FOR HIM AND HIS WIFE.
I WOULD LIKE TO BE PREPARED.
MY PARTNER.
THAT WOULD BE MILL ON THE RIVER.
OH, YES.
VERY DARK, VERY ATMOSPHERIC.
SOUNDS NICE.
VERY.
GOOD. WE'VE MADE PROGRESS HERE.
BUT I'M MONOPOLIZING
THE CONVERSATION.
OH, THAT'S OK.
CAN I CALL YOU LATER
TO CONTINUE THIS?
ABSOLUTELY. CALL ME
SOMETIME NEXT WEEK.
I'LL BE SURE TO DO THAT.
YOU WANT TO
RE-REVIEW THE BALLET?
YES, I DO, DOYLE.
I HAVE A BRAND-NEW
PERSPECTIVE ON IT, AND ON DANCE.
I WAS IGNORANT BEFORE. SO
THIS WOULD BE A WHOLE NEW PIECE.
WE DON'T RE-REVIEW THINGS.
WELL, THERE'S A FIRST
TIME FOR EVERYTHING.
I COULD BUY MY OWN
TICKET IF THAT'S A PROBLEM.
BUT IT CLOSED EARLY
BECAUSE OF YOUR REVIEW.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
BUT IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
I'LL JUST REDO THE
ONE I ALREADY DID.
THAT BALLET IS SEARED IN THERE,
SO I COULD JUST
REPLAY IT IN MY HEAD.
YOUR REVIEW WAS GREAT.
PEOPLE ARE STILL TALKIN'
ABOUT IT. THAT'S PRETTY RARE.
OK, OK. WELL, WHAT ABOUT
JUST A GENERAL-INTEREST ARTICLE
ON THE LEAD BALLERINA?
IS SHE THE HIPPO?
NO. NO.
SHE IS AN ACCOMPLISHED DANCER
AND HER LIFE IS
QUITE FASCINATING.
DID YOU KNOW THAT SHE
STUDIED DANCE FOR 14 YEARS
AND HAS PERFORMED IN MIAMI?
MIAMI. THAT'S PRETTY BIG.
MIAMI.
IT'S BORING.
SHE ALMOST GOT INTO JUILLIARD.
THAT'S NOT INTERESTING, EITHER.
WELL, NO. BUT THESE ARE
SIMPLY BACKGROUND FACTS
OF A FASCINATING
PERSONAL JOURNEY.
A PERSONAL JOURNEY OF AN ARTIST
STRUGGLING AGAINST THE
INDIFFERENCE OF AN INDIFFERENT SOCIETY
JUST DANCING AS
FAST AS SHE CAN AND...
WELL, IT'S 8 MILE MEETS FAME.
I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
WHAT?
YOU'RE FEELING BAD ABOUT
THE EFFECT THE ARTICLE HAD
ON THE PEOPLE IN THE BALLET.
NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
I HEARD OF THE DINING
HALL CONFRONTATION.
THAT WAS NOT REALLY A
CONFRONTATION. WE WERE JUST CHATTING.
IT GOES WITH THE TERRITORY.
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I
REVIEWED A CLOG-DANCING TEAM
THAT WAS REALLY BAD,
EVEN COMPARED TO
OTHER CLOG DANCERS.
I WAS MERCILESS.
BUT, BUT IF I CAN'T RE-REVIEW IT
THEN CAN I JUST PRINT
WHAT I MEANT TO PUT IN,
AND DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO?
HURTING PEOPLE'S
FEELINGS IS WHAT WE DO.
BUT WHEN I BECOME
A REAL JOURNALIST
THE PEOPLE IN MY REVIEWS
AREN'T GONNA LIVE IN MY BUILDING.
DOESN'T MATTER.
WHEN YOU WRITE FOR THE YALE DAILY
NEWS, YOU ARE A REAL JOURNALIST.
I DIDN'T MEAN...
IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE
IT, YOU SHOULD LEAVE.
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE PAPER.
GOOD.
HERE.
YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT.
THANKS.
KNOCK 'EM DEAD.
DINNER IS GOING TO BE
A LITTLE LATE TONIGHT.
MY GLUTEN PATTIES CAUGHT FIRE.
SO WE'RE SWITCHING TO
SPAGHETTI AND WHEAT BALLS.
MAMA, CAN WE TALK
ABOUT SOMETHING?
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S THE JUG FOR DAVE.
I GAVE THAT TO YOU DAYS
AGO. WHY HAVEN'T YOU SENT IT?
I CAN'T SEND IT, MAMA.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OF COURSE YOU CAN.
I SHOWED YOU HOW TO
TAPE THE BUBBLE WRAP.
NO, I MEAN I CAN'T!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
MAMA, PLEASE LISTEN. ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS IMPORTANT,
AND I WANT TO BE CLEAR.
AND I WANT TO SAY IT
RIGHT, BUT IT'S HARD.
I'M LISTENING.
DAVE IS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND,
AND HE'S IMPORTANT
TO ME. VERY IMPORTANT.
I KNOW THAT.
AND HIS BEING IN CALIFORNIA
LIKE THIS, IT'S BEEN HARD
AND IT'S EVEN CAUSED
SOME PROBLEMS.
BUT IN OTHER WAYS, I THINK
IT'S BROUGHT US CLOSER.
YES?
BUT I'M STILL IN SCHOOL,
AND HE'S STILL IN SCHOOL.
AND WHILE I RESPECT
YOU, AND I RESPECT THE JUG
AND ALL THAT THE JUG REPRESENTS
ALL THE BRIGHT HOPES
AND ALL THE TRADITION
I CANNOT GIVE DAVE THE JUG.
NOT NOW.
MAYBE ONE DAY, BUT NOT NOW.
OK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU'RE PUTTING IT WITH ALL
THE CLEARANCE ITEMS? SO?
YOU'RE SELLING MY
MARRIAGE JUG? YOUR WHAT?
MY MARRIAGE JUG. WHAT'S THAT?
THE JUG YOU KEPT TO GIVE
TO THE BOY I'M GOING TO MARRY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU TOLD ME WHEN I WAS 6 THAT
THIS WAS MY SPECIAL MARRIAGE JUG
THAT YOU'D KEEP ON
A SPECIAL HIGH SHELF
FOR THE BOY I'M GOING TO MARRY.
THIS THING?
YES.
IT'S JUST A JUG. WHAT?
I PROBABLY TOLD YOU THAT
TO MAKE YOU STOP CRYING.
YOU ALWAYS CRIED WHEN YOU
WERE LITTLE. GAVE ME A HEADACHE.
IT'S JUST A JUG?
I'VE GOT TONS OF THEM.
THEY'RE HARD TO MOVE.
WE COULD MAKE IT A MARRIAGE JUG,
WHATEVER THAT IS.
NO, NO. NEVER MIND.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I'LL SEND SOMETHING
ELSE TO DAVE.
GOOD.
OOH! MY WHEAT BALLS!
SO, WHY CAN'T YOU SHOW
YOUR FACE AT LUKE'S?
IT'S JUST FOR A WHILE.
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
THE THEATER. THAT'S
WHY I'M TALKING SOFTLY.
I'M REVIEWING SOME MUSIC THING.
SO, WHY CAN'T YOU GO TO LUKE'S?
I GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT
WITH LUKE ABOUT NICOLE.
NICOLE?
THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
I WALK INTO LUKE'S,
AND THERE SHE IS.
AND HE HADN'T TOLD YOU?
NO. I WAS THE VERY
PICTURE OF AWKWARDNESS.
AND, BASICALLY, I JUST FLED.
AND WHEN I SAW LUKE LATER,
WE GOT INTO A FIGHT ABOUT IT.
AND I TOLD HIM HIS
COFFEE POTS WERE STUPID.
SO IT WAS VERY SOPHISTICATED.
HE IS SO GUARDED,
SO UNCOOPERATIVE.
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET OVER
YOUR PROBLEM WITH LUKE
BEING UNCOOPERATIVE.
I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE
WEIRDNESS BETWEEN ME AND NICOLE
IF SHE'S BACK IN OUR LIVES.
I MEAN, LUKE HAS GOTTA GET
IT THROUGH HIS THICK SKULL
THAT WHOEVER IS IN
HIS LIFE IS IN MY LIFE, TOO.
REALLY? YES.
THAT'S NOT A LITTLE STALKERY?
NO. WE ARE A SMALL,
CLOSE-KNIT COMMUNITY.
SO, YOU'RE GONNA
TELL LUKE ABOUT JASON?
WHAT ABOUT HIM?
THERE'S SOMETHING
HAPPENING THERE.
NOT REALLY.
THERE WAS A PALPABLE VIBE.
PALPABLE TO EVERYONE?
JUST ME. GRANDMA AND
GRANDPA WERE OBLIVIOUS.
HEY, WOULD THAT BE CRAZY?
WHAT?
FOR US TO GO OUT TOGETHER?
ALL 3 OF US?
JASON AND I.
UH, A LITTLE.
WELL, YEAH. I HAVEN'T DECIDED.
WELL, I'M HAPPY TO REPORT
THAT THERE HAVE BEEN
NO MORE RUN-INS
WITH THE BALLERINA.
GOOD.
WE'RE NOT DESTINED TO BE BUDDIES
BUT SOMETIMES YOU
HAVE TO MAKE AN ENEMY.
WHEN YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO.
THEN YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO.
IT'S STARTING. I GOTTA GO.
OK. HAVE FUN.
I WILL.
♪ MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT ASHORE ♪
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT ASHORE ♪
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ SISTER, HELP TO
TRIM THE SAILS ♪
YOU GOT IT BROTHER.
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ SISTER, HELP TO
TRIM THE SAILS ♪
I WILL.
MORE BROCCOLI, GRANDPA?
ABSOLUTELY. STAVES
OFF THE CANCER.
STAVES OFF MY APPETITE.
YOU REALLY SHOULD EAT
MORE GREEN THINGS, LORELAI.
I PLAN TO EAT A $5
BILL LATER TONIGHT.
OH, HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW $20s?
THEY HAVE A PEACH COLOR IN THEM.
PEACH? PERFECT.
I'LL EAT A NEW $20, I'LL HAVE
MY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.
I THINK WE SAW
SOME OF THE NEW $20s
IN ATLANTIC CITY,
DIDN'T WE, EMILY?
I THINK.
HOW WAS ATLANTIC
CITY? SUCCESSFUL?
VERY.
WELL, SISKEL'S CHIMED
IN. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I'M REFRAINING.
IT'S A BIT OF A SORE SUBJECT.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
THE GARISHNESS. THE GARISHNESS!
THUS SPAKE EBERT.
WHY HAVE A SIMPLE SIGN,
IF IT CAN BE IN BRIGHT,
FLASHING NEON?
AND THE NEW SLOT MACHINES,
THEY DON'T JUST MAKE
OBNOXIOUS BELL SOUNDS ANYMORE.
THEY YELL AT YOU!
THE SLOT MACHINES WERE TALKING
TO YOU? SURE IT WASN'T YOU?
OH, THEY TALK. I
CAN VERIFY THAT.
ONE OF THEM KEPT YELLING,
"WHEEL OF FORTUNE!"
THE PARKING LOT OF THE HOTEL THAT
WE STAYED AT, HAD AN AREA FOR R.V.s.
PERISH THE THOUGHT.
AND THE BOARDWALK.
OH, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE
THE ATLANTIC CITY BOARDWALK.
I'LL SAVE YOU A TRIP.
TIP AN OVERFLOWING TRASHCAN ON YOUR
FRONT PORCH AND WALK UP AND DOWN ON IT.
IT WAS ACTUALLY QUITE
A SUCCESSFUL OUTING.
MAYBE NOT TO OUR TASTE,
BUT THE CLIENTS LOVED IT.
THE CLIENTS WERE TOO
PLASTERED TO KNOW BETTER.
KIND OF THE POINT.
2 OF THEM STAYED UP ALL
NIGHT, AND SMELLED LIKE IT.
YEAH, THAT WAS A TAD GROSS.
ONE OF THEM, A MARRIED MAN,
HAD A LONG CONVERSATION WITH,
HOW SHALL I PUT THIS DELICATELY,
A WOMAN OF LESS THAN
REPUTABLE NATURE.
HMM. DO HOOKERS CHARGE
TO LET YOU TALK TO THEM?
DEPENDS ON WHAT THEY'RE
DOING WHEN THEY'RE TALKIN' TO YOU.
RORY. SORRY.
I EXPECT THAT FROM YOUR
MOTHER, BUT NOT YOU.
IT'S JUST A JOKE.
YEAH, MOM, YALE IS
BROADENING HER WORLD-VIEW.
DIGGER WAS IN HIS ELEMENT.
YOU MEAN JASON
WAS IN HIS ELEMENT.
HE CAROUSED ALONG
WITH THE BEST OF THEM.
YOU CAROUSE ANY, DAD?
WELL, I PLAYED A LITTLE CRAPS.
THE TABLES WERE ICE-COLD.
WHAT'S THE NEXT OUTING JASON HAS
PLANNED FOR YOUR CLIENTS, RICHARD?
SPRING BREAK IN CANCUN, SO YOU
CAN DO SHOTS OFF PEOPLE'S BELLIES?
I'M UNCOMFORTABLE HEARING
YOU SAY THAT. ME, TOO.
I CAN ASSURE YOU, EMILY,
THAT THERE ARE NO BELLY
SHOTS IN OUR FUTURE.
ALTHOUGH DOING ONE
OFF DAD'S BELLY IS OK.
YOU'RE MARRIED.
AND THOSE GIFTS, THOSE
HEINOUS GIFTS HE GAVE OUT.
OH, WE HAD LITTLE
ROULETTE WHEELS
PRINTED UP WITH OUR
COMPANY NAME ON IT.
THEY WERE A BIG HIT.
PERFECT FOR AN
EXECUTIVE'S TABLE.
I GOT ONE FOR EACH OF YOU.
RICHARD DON'T.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
THEY'RE CUTE.
THEY'RE THE ANTITHESIS OF CLASS,
SO LIKE DIGGER.
EMILY, THAT WAS HIS
NICKNAME AS A BOY,
AND HE'S SENSITIVE ABOUT IT.
I'VE NEVER CALLED
HIM THAT TO HIS FACE.
YOU DID AT THAT CRAPS TABLE,
AND THEN HE SEVENED-OUT.
PLEASE, LET'S DISCUSS SOMETHING
OTHER THAN NEW JERSEY.
I AM MORE THAN WILLING.
HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS READ ANY OF
RORY'S ARTICLES IN THE YALE NEWSPAPER?
OF COURSE, WE'VE READ THEM ALL.
FINE WORK, RORY.
THE YALE DAILY NEWS
IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
OH, IT'S REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL.
HEY, THEY'RE RIGHT.
TAKE YOUR PROPS.
YOU'LL BE RUNNING
THAT PAPER BEFORE LONG.
I'M NOT EVEN ON STAFF YET.
YOU'RE NOT?
THESE ARE JUST TRYOUT
ARTICLES TO QUALIFY.
YOU HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING
FOR EVERY DEPARTMENT.
AND THEN, IF THOSE PASS
MUSTER, THEN YOU'RE ON STAFF.
WELL, YOUR COVERAGE OF THAT
LACROSSE MATCH WAS VERY EXCITING.
YEAH, FOR 2 SECONDS,
I ALMOST GAVE A FLYING
YOU-KNOW-WHAT ABOUT LACROSSE.
I LIKED YOUR COVERAGE ON
THE NEW FUNDS APPROVED
FOR UPKEEP ON THE
DIVINITY QUADRANGLE.
YOU MADE IT SING.
WE'RE HAVING ALL YOUR
ARTICLES LAMINATED.
THAT'S VERY NICE.
YES!
GOT MY NUMBER.
♪
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
A QUAINT ARCHAISM.
IF YOU'RE A GOOD JOURNALIST,
WHY MAKE YOU JUMP THROUGH HOOPS
AND WRITE ALL THESE
TRYOUT ARTICLES?
STALE BAGEL.
IT'S A TIME-HONORED TRADITION.
ALL OUR FOREBEARS HAD TO DO IT.
IF THEY HAD FOUGHT IT,
WE WOULDN'T BE
DEALING WITH IT NOW.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
MY ARTICLE.
I DID A REVIEW OF THE
CHAMBER MUSIC RECITAL.
MUST BE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.
AND THAT'S THE OTHER
THING. THEY PRINT EVERYTHING.
HMM, THAT'S WEIRD.
THEY'D PRINT MY MATTRESS
TAG IF IT FITS THE MARGINS.
IT'S NOT HERE. IMPOSSIBLE.
NO, I'VE LOOKED
PRETTY THOROUGHLY.
MUST BE A MISTAKE.
NO, IT'S REALLY NOT HERE.
JUST MEANS PARAKEETS
WILL BE CRAPPING
ON SOMETHING
ELSE IN THE MORNING.
THEY'RE ALL STALE.
MORNING. MORNING.
HI, DOYLE.
HI, RORY. COFFEE MINT?
NO, THANKS.
I'M ADDICTED TO THESE
THINGS. SO IS BOB WOODWARD.
SO I HEAR. NOT THAT I'M
COPYING HIM. WHAT'S UP?
I WAS WONDERING IF THERE
WAS A PROBLEM WITH MY REVIEW.
YOUR REVIEW? WHICH
WAS YOURS, THE QUARTET?
CHAMBER MUSIC AT SPRAGUE HALL.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
DID I GET IT IN LATE?
NO, RIGHT ON TIME.
YOU'RE GOOD ABOUT THAT.
BUT YOU DIDN'T
PRINT IT. NO, WE DIDN'T.
SO, SPACE ISSUE?
NO, WE HAVE THE SPACE,
WE ALWAYS HAVE THE SPACE.
IT WAS JUST A BIT OF A YAWN.
A YAWN? YEAH.
WELL, YOU KNOW,
CHAMBER MUSIC RECITALS
ARE VERY LOW-KEY,
KIND OF YAWNY AFFAIRS.
PRETTY MUSIC, BUT NO
STAGE DIVING OR ANYTHING.
I MEANT THE WRITING.
THE WRITING WAS KIND OF A YAWN?
HEY, DON'T SWEAT IT.
YOU'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
RIGHT, SURE. MY MOTHER LIKED IT.
LIKED WHAT? THE RECITAL.
SHE'S OLD. EXCUSE ME.
SURE. SURE.
YOUR ARTICLE DIDN'T
GET IN? NO, IT DIDN'T.
MINE DID. GOOD. GOOD.
I'M GOING TO GET A BAGEL.
HE ACTUALLY USED
THE WORD "YAWN"?
YES. WHAT A JERK.
YOU SHOULD PUNCH
HIM WHERE IT COUNTS.
HE'S JUST DOING HIS JOB.
HE COULD'VE BEEN
MORE DIPLOMATIC.
THE WORD "YAWN" IS INSULTING.
I WAS ACTUALLY
TIRED WHEN I WROTE IT,
SO IT PROBABLY
WASN'T MY BEST WORK.
I SHOULD WRITE MY ARTICLES
AT NIGHT FIRST, THEN STUDY.
I STILL SAY YAWN GUY
NEEDS A LITTLE LEARNIN'.
YEAH. KICK HIM WHERE
THE SUN DON'T SHINE.
YOU REALLY ARE NOT
GOOD AT THREATS.
I KNOW, AND I HATE THAT.
I'LL JUST CHALK IT
IN TO EXPERIENCE.
HEY, WHAT TIME DO YOU HAVE?
UH, 3:55.
5 MINUTES TO MY CALL WITH
DAVE. I SHOULD GET HOME.
HEY, ARE WE STILL MAD AT HIM?
WE NEVER WERE.
THAT'S RIGHT. MUST BE JACKSON.
WE'RE MAD AT JACKSON FOR
SOMETHING HE SAID TO SOOKIE.
NO, WE'RE NOT. YOU SURE?
YES.
MUST BE GYPSY. WE'RE
MAD AT HER HUSBAND?
SHE'S NOT MARRIED.
THIS IS GONNA BUG ME.
SO, HOW IS DAVE? HE'S GREAT.
I JUST WISH HE WEREN'T
3,000 MILES AWAY.
HOW DID HE TAKE THE
NEWS THAT YOU FOUND
A REPLACEMENT
FOR HIM IN THE BAND?
HE WAS A LITTLE WEIRD ABOUT IT.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE MAD AT HIM.
WE'RE NOT MAD AT DAVE.
MUST BE JACKSON.
I MISS THAT BOY.
HE'LL BE HOME FOR
CHRISTMAS, RIGHT?
HE'D BETTER BE.
THIS IS MY STOP.
SAY HI TO THE BABY FOR ME.
FIND OUT WHO WE'RE MAD AT.
WE'RE NOT MAD AT ANYBODY.
WE'RE ALWAYS MAD AT SOMEBODY.
HI. DOOR IS OPEN.
AREN'T THEY HOME?
THEY ARE HOME. I'M
NOT WELCOME IN IT.
WHAT?
LORELAI, COME ON IN.
I'M BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST.
GO, ENJOY.
MICHEL CAN'T COME IN? NO.
I'M ROSA PARKS.
WHY CAN'T ROSA PARKS
COME IN? HE SNEEZED.
5 DAYS AGO.
I CAN'T TAKE A
CHANCE WITH THE BABY.
IT'S A BUSINESS MEETING.
THE BABY SHOULD NOT ATTEND.
HE'S A WEEK OLD. SHOULD
HE TAKE IN A MOVIE?
I GOT DUST UP MY NOSE.
IT MADE ME SNEEZE.
I AM NOT SICK.
COME ON IN.
SORRY.
OH, NO. WHEW.
NOT FUNNY.
THERE HE IS.
OH, LITTLE DAVEY,
LITTLE DAVEY,
PEEKABOO, PEEKABOO.
OH, YOU HAVE A WIDDLE NOSE.
OH, NO, AUNT LORELAI'S
GOT YOUR NOSE.
DO YOU WANT IT
BACK? DO YOU? DO YOU?
HE'S NOT INDICATING
THAT HE WANTS IT BACK.
WELL, THEN I'M GOING TO KEEP IT.
THIS IS PAINFUL.
YOU KNOW, HE SAID HIS
FIRST WORD THIS MORNING.
WHO? MICHEL?
WHAT DID HE SAY?
HE SAID, "A-OOPAH."
OH, DID YOU SAY
"A-OOPAH"? DID YOU?
WELL, YOU'RE VERY
TALENTED. DID YOU KNOW THAT?
IF I THROW UP, DO YOU WANT IT
ON THE BUSHES OR THE GRASS?
MICHEL, DON'T YOU LIKE BABIES?
I DON'T KNOW. I'VE
NEVER BEEN NEAR ONE.
I THOUGHT TODAY WAS MY CHANCE.
I BROUGHT PASTRIES.
EXCELLENT. DO YOU
WANT ONE, MICHEL?
SO I CAN LOOK EVEN SADDER,
SITTING AND EATING
PASTRY BY MYSELF?
NO, THANK YOU. CAN WE START?
OK.
WELL, I'M HERE TO REPORT
THAT THE DRAGONFLY
IS OFFICIALLY DEMOED
AND STRIPPED TO ITS STUDS,
TO THE POINT WHERE IT
LOOKS WORSE THAN EVER
AND YOU CAN'T IMAGINE IT
EVER LOOKING GOOD AGAIN.
EXCELLENT.
THERE ARE BIG FLYING
THINGS OUT HERE.
BUT WE'RE ON SCHEDULE.
WHEN I LEFT, THE PLUMBING
CONTRACTOR WAS UNLOADING ALL SORTS
OF IMPRESSIVE-LOOKING
COPPER PIPES,
SO THAT'S SOMETHING,
I GUESS, AND... OH.
BRUCE. HELLO.
I THOUGHT YOU'D GONE.
I CAME BACK.
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
BRUCE IS NOT ONLY A MIDWIFE,
SHE'S ALSO A LACTATION SPECIALIST.
YIKES. UGH.
IS THAT THE SNEEZER?
IT WAS DUST.
WHAT ARE THESE BIG
GREEN THINGS WITH WINGS?
YOU KNOW, BRUCE, I DIDN'T
GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU
HOW IMPRESSED I WAS
BY THE HOME BIRTH.
IT WAS JUST AMAZING TO
WATCH AND VERY, VERY SPECIAL.
DID YOU TALK BABY TALK TO DAVEY?
YES.
EVERY SECOND DAVEY'S
BRAIN IS HARD-WIRING FOR LIFE.
BABY TALK CAN RETARD HIS
LANGUAGE ACQUISITION RATE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
DEFINITELY NOT. I
WANT HIM FULLY TARDED.
THIS FLYING GREEN
THING IS TOYING WITH ME.
IN 5 MINUTES WE'LL FEED.
5 MINUTES.
DID I TELL YOU SHE
DONATES HER SERVICES
TO INDIGENT INNER-CITY MOTHERS?
IT'S OK.
ALL RIGHT, THIS THING IS
GETTING READY TO DIVE-BOMB.
SO, DAVEY, BEAUTIFUL DAY, HUH?
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DISCUSS?
MIDDLE-EAST PEACE,
THE SPACE PROGRAM?
I'M SORRY, WHAT'S THAT?
OH, MY GOD.
HE SAID, "THE ANSWER TO THE
PROBLEMS IN THE MIDEAST IS:
I HAVE TO POOP."
HE GOT DISTRACTED.
AND NOW THERE'S NO PEACE?
DAVEY, COME ON, MAN,
HARD-WIRE THOSE ADULT THOUGHTS,
AND TRY TO REMEMBER
WHAT WE'RE TALKING...
AND HE SAID THAT THURSDAY'S
IMPOSSIBLE TO START WORK.
I REMINDED HIM
ABOUT OUR CONTRACT.
YEAH.
GOOD, BECAUSE HE
NEEDED TO BE REMINDED.
SO THAT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.
I'M BEING ATTACKED
BY GREEN THINGS.
IT'S TIME TO FEED.
NO.
WELL, THIS HAS BEEN A
VERY PRODUCTIVE MEETING.
VERY.
HI, DOYLE. GOT
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
YOUR NEW REVIEW? MY NEW REVIEW.
REMEMBER THE NEW ZOO REVUE?
HENRIETTA HIPPO?
FREDDIE THE FROG. WHO WAS THE
3RD ONE? WHAT WAS THE 3RD ONE.
I'M DRAWING A
BLANK. I HATE THAT.
WHEN THERE'S 3 OF SOMETHING,
YOU FORGET THE 3RD ONE.
IT'S A STATISTICAL THING.
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME
BACK? NO, LET'S LOOK AT IT NOW.
SO. I DRANK A LOT OF
COFFEE BEFORE WRITING THIS,
SO HOPEFULLY IT WON'T BE A YAWN.
GOOD.
DOYLE? JUST A SEC.
YOU'RE CROSSING EVERYTHING
OUT. NOT EVERYTHING.
THE ONLY THING YOU HAVEN'T
CROSSED OUT IS WHAT YOU HAVEN'T READ.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, OK?
WELL, IT'S BETTER
THAN YOUR LAST ONE.
YOU'RE SHOWING PROGRESS.
OH. REALLY.
OK, IS THIS SOME KIND OF HAZING?
HAZING?
I PUT A LOT OF TIME INTO THIS.
OH, I KNOW. IT'S DEFINITELY
NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING.
IS IT SOMETHING PERSONAL? DID
I DO SOMETHING TO OFFEND YOU?
NO, RORY. THIS IS HOW IT WORKS.
IT'S NOT PERSONAL. IT'S
JUST NOT VERY GOOD.
I REWROTE IT 4 TIMES,
AND I RESEARCHED
IT SO THOROUGHLY.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FACTS.
YOU'VE GOTTEN THOSE
RIGHT. STAN, FILE THIS FOR ME.
SO, IT'S NOT GOOD?
I COULDN'T TELL WHAT
YOU REALLY THOUGHT.
BUT I TRIED SO HARD. OH, I KNOW.
SO, I SHOULD TRY LESS HARD?
LOOK. JUST WRITE WHAT YOU THINK.
YOU HAVE OPINIONS, DON'T YOU?
SURE I DO. THAT'S WHAT'LL WORK.
SOUNDS SIMPLE. IT CAN BE.
CHARLIE THE OWL.
THAT'S THE 3RD ONE.
RIGHT, RIGHT,
CHARLIE. GUESS I'LL GO.
DON'T WORRY.
EITHER YOU'LL GET THE HANG
OF THINGS, OR YOU WON'T.
UH-HUH.
JUST MAKE SURE THIS ONE'S GOOD.
GOT IT.
WOW, PRETTY. YALE'S
GOT THE BIG BUCKS. HUH?
I GUESS.
THIS IS GONNA BE
FUN. IT'S WORK FOR ME.
ARE THOSE OUR SEATS,
ALL SAVED AND EVERYTHING?
ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES
OF BEING WITH THE PRESS.
ARE YOU OK?
YEAH. I'M THE HAPPIEST UNPUBLISHED
WRITER IN THE NEWSPAPER BIZ.
YOU ARE NOT UNPUBLISHED.
I AM RECENTLY UNPUBLISHED.
DON'T FORGET YOUR
LACROSSE STORY TRIUMPH.
MAYBE LACROSSE IS THE ONLY
THING I'M GOOD AT WRITING ABOUT.
AND I'D NEVER HEARD OF IT
BEFORE I WAS ASSIGNED IT.
NOW, COME ON.
HOPEFULLY, THERE'LL
BE PLENTY OF WELL-PAID,
FULL-TIME, LACROSSE-WRITING
POSITIONS FOR ME,
AT THE MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATIONS.
YOU NEED CHOCOLATE.
CHOCOLATE AND TALENT. STOP THAT.
MAYBE I'M JUST NOT CUT OUT
FOR COLLEGE JOURNALISM.
MAYBE I PEAKED IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OH, MAN, THAT'S A
DEPRESSING THOUGHT.
YOU DIDN'T PEAK.
THIS IS JUST A DIFFERENT
ENVIRONMENT AND A BIGGER LEAGUE
AND THAT'S HALF
THE FUN, ISN'T IT?
KIND OF.
HERE WE GO.
I LOVE THESE SEATS.
THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT.
♪
OH.
WELL, SHE RECOVERED QUICKLY.
WHOA.
THE FLOOR MUST BE SLIPPERY.
YEAH.
I... I DON'T THINK THE GUY IS SUPPOSED
TO WINCE WHEN HE LIFTS THE BALLERINA.
MAYBE IT WAS INVOLUNTARY?
SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO
KICK HIM LIKE THAT, WAS SHE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
IT GIVES NEW MEANING TO
THE WORD "NUTCRACKER."
SHH!
WOW! YEAH.
THAT WAS TERRIBLE.
FROM THE OPENING KERPLUNK.
IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSE.
I'M IN PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT.
THAT LEAD BALLERINA,
SHE HAS NO FRIENDS.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
NO ONE GAVE HER THE HEADS-UP ON
THE ROLL OF FAT AROUND THE BRA STRAP.
MAYBE SHE JUST HAS NO
FRIENDS IN THE BALLET.
ALL BALLET PEOPLE DO IS BALLET.
IF SHE HAS NO FRIENDS IN THE
BALLET, SHE HAS NO FRIENDS.
HOLY MOLY.
I WONDER HOW MANY TIMES I CAN
USE THE WORD "BLOWS" IN AN ARTICLE
BEFORE IT BECOMES REDUNDANT.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WRITE?
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT
I THINK, I GUESS.
REALLY?
WELL, APPARENTLY,
THAT'S WHAT WAS MISSING
FROM MY OTHER
PIECES: MY OPINION.
IF YOU WANT MY OPINION
THAT END CURTAIN CAME
DOWN WAY TOO SLOWLY.
I'LL TRY TO WORK THAT
IN. OH, MAN. OH, MAN, OH.
IF VINCENT GALLO
COULD JUST SEE THIS
HE'D FEEL A WHOLE LOT
BETTER ABOUT BROWN BUNNY.
NICE.
NICE? REALLY GREAT JOB.
REALLY? REALLY!
OH, WOW! THANKS.
THANK YOU. STAN,
GET THIS TO LAYOUT.
YEAH.
I LOVE DOING THAT. AND
YOU LOOK GOOD DOING IT.
COFFEE MINT?
THANKS.
THIS PIECE IS BEAUTIFUL.
MY WIFE'S GONNA FLIP.
GOOD. IT'S VERY FRAGILE, SO KEEP
IT AWAY FROM YOUNG CHILDREN.
WE DON'T HAVE
CHILDREN. YOU SHOULD.
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE CHILDREN.
OK. THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
LANE? YES, MAMA?
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR DAVE.
FOR DAVE, MY DAVE?
SOMETHING FOR YOU TO
SEND TO HIM IN CALIFORNIA.
SPECIAL GIFT FROM
ME TO HIM. REALLY?
COULD YOU WRAP IT AND
TAKE IT TO THE POST OFFICE?
DEFINITELY. THIS IS SWEET, MAMA.
HE'S A GOOD BOY. HE'S
GOING TO MAKE A GOOD MAN.
I AGREE.
I'M GOING TO MAKE SOME TEA.
SO, I LOOKED UP WHAT
BRUCE SAID ABOUT BABY TALK
AND SHE WAS RIGHT.
YOU SHOULD NEVER
TALK BABY TALK TO A BABY.
THAT'S SAD.
I'VE BEEN CALLING ALL MY
FRIENDS AND RELATIVES WITH BABIES
TO TELL THEM TO IMMEDIATELY
STOP TALKING TO THEM.
YOU MEAN, STOP
TALKING BABY TALK?
NO, IT'S BETTER THAT THEY
JUST STOP ALTOGETHER.
ITTLE-BITTY MICHEL.
NOW, STOP THAT.
I LIKE TALKING BABY TALK
AND I CAN'T DO IT TO
BABIES, SO I NEED AN OUTLET.
AND YOU'RE MY OUTWET, WITTLE
MICHEL WITH THE HAPPY HAIR.
GOODBYE.
YOU NO WANNA EAT?
OH, LOOK AT HIM
WALKING. BIG BOY WALKIES.
OOH!
I'M GOOD, THANK YOU.
NICOLE.
HI, LORELAI.
WOW, I'LL BE...
LOOK AT YOU THERE.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
YEAH. DOES LUKE
KNOW YOU'RE HERE?
HE'S JUST IN THE BACK.
DO YOU WANT HIM?
NO, I DON'T WANT
HIM. I DON'T WANT HIM.
I... I WAS JUST COMIN' IN FOR
A BITE WITH A FRIEND AND...
NOT MY IMAGINARY FRIEND. MY
FRIEND MICHEL WAS WITH ME, BUT,
HE DOESN'T EAT
NORMAL FOOD LIKE THIS,
SO HE'S NOT COMING
IN. SO, YOU GOOD?
VERY GOOD. AND YOU?
VERY GOOD, TOO.
I'M JUST STILL LIVING
HERE IN STARS HOLLOW,
AND, UM, RORY'S GOING
TO YALE. I KNEW THAT.
OF COURSE. NATURALLY,
YOU WOULD BE
ALL FILLED IN, 'CAUSE LUKE'S
TALKIN' TO YOU REGULARLY AND...
SO, UM,
I MET A BUNCH OF
LAWYERS FROM YOUR FIRM.
REALLY?
I DID, YES,
BECAUSE, WELL, I'M...
THEY WERE COMING IN TO SEE
LUKE, AND I'M IN HERE A LOT, SO...
RIGHT. YEAH, THEY'RE GOOD GUYS.
REALLY GOOD GUYS.
THEY LIKE YOU A LOT.
AND THEY'RE THE
PARTNERS AT MY FIRM.
WELL, SO THEY HAVE TO LIKE YOU.
SO, IS LUKE COMING OUT?
HE SHOULD BE.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT HUNGRY. NO?
I JUST REMEMBERED, I JUST ATE.
SO, BUT IT'S REALLY
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
SAME HERE.
REALLY GOOD. UH-HUH.
OK. SO.
HELLO?
OH, THANK GOD.
LANE?
I JUST HAD THE BIGGEST FIGHT WITH
DAVE THAT WE'VE EVER HAD, EVER.
AND IT'S ALL MY MOTHER'S FAULT.
YOUR MOTHER? WHY?
GET THIS. EARLIER TODAY,
MY MOM ASKED ME
TO WRAP SOMETHING
THAT SHE WANTS TO SEND TO DAVE.
IS IT HIS BIRTHDAY?
NO, THIS WAS SOMETHING
ELSE ALTOGETHER.
YOU HOLDING ON TO YOUR HAT?
I'M NOT WEARING ONE,
BUT I CAN PRETEND TO BE.
IT'S THE JUG.
WHAT JUG?
THE JUG. THE BIG JUG,
THE MONUMENTAL JUG.
WHAT JUG?
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID, MY
MOTHER SHOWED ME THIS SPECIAL JUG,
THAT'S BEEN PASSED DOWN IN
MY FAMILY FOR YEARS AND YEARS
IN A LONG-STANDING KIM TRADITION
THAT SHE'LL PERSONALLY PRESENT
TO THE BOY I'M GOING TO WED?
OH, MY GOD, THE MARRIAGE JUG?
THE MARRIAGE JUG.
SHE'S SENDING DAVE
THE MARRIAGE JUG?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I'M GUESSING IT MEANS
SHE'S RESERVING A HALL
AND ORDERING THAT "STATIONS
OF THE CROSS" ICE SCULPTURE.
WHOA, THIS IS SERIOUS.
NO KIDDING.
I HAD FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT.
I DIDN'T. IT'S BEEN ON
THAT SHELF ALL MY LIFE.
I LIKED THAT IT WAS THERE.
IT WAS A NICE THING,
A NICE TRADITION.
I HAD PLEASANT
ASSOCIATIONS WITH IT.
NOW I WANT TO BREAK
IT INTO A MILLION PIECES.
WHAT INSPIRED HER? WHO KNOWS?
HAVE YOU BEEN SENDING
OUT A VIBE OR SOMETHING?
A VIBE? NO. WHAT KIND OF VIBE?
LIKE A MARRIAGE VIBE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT
IS. MAYBE. I LOVE DAVE.
IF YOU LOVE A BOY, DO YOU
AUTOMATICALLY SEND OUT A MARRIAGE VIBE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I FEEL WEIRD JUST SAYING THAT.
WHY DID YOU AND DAVE
GET INTO A BIG FIGHT?
WELL, I DIDN'T SEND HIM THE JUG,
BUT I HAD TO GIVE HIM A HEADS-UP
IN CASE HE CALLED HERE INNOCENTLY
AND MY MOM SAID SOMETHING LIKE,
"YOU RENT THAT
TUX, YET?" SO, I DID,
HE WAS REALLY MEAN ABOUT IT. HE
WAS VERY AGAINST GETTING THE JUG.
YOU THOUGHT HE'D BE ALL FOR IT?
NO, BUT HE WAS WAY
TOO DOWN ON THE IDEA.
LANE, HE'S 18. HE JUST
STARTED COLLEGE.
I KNOW.
JUG OR NO JUG, HE'S NOT
READY TO GET MARRIED.
I KNOW.
AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
I KNOW. SOMEDAY, MAYBE.
YES, SOMEDAY. BUT NOT NOW.
GREAT. NOW WE'RE
ABOUT TO GET INTO A FIGHT?
NO, WE ARE NOT. THERE'VE
JUST BEEN ENOUGH
YOUNG PEOPLE MARRYING IN
MY LIFE. I DON'T WANT ANY MORE.
OK. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S GOING TO
EXPECT A CALL OR A NOTE FROM HIM
THANKING HIS SOON-TO-BE
MOTHER-IN-LAW, OR SHE'LL BE OFFENDED.
PROBABLY.
I GUESS I'VE GOT TO
TALK TO HER ABOUT IT.
I DON'T SEE ANY OTHER WAY.
WHOA.
WHAT?
SOMEONE WROTE SOMETHING
ON OUR DOOR. "DIE JERK."
IT SAYS "DIE JERK"?
IT'S NOT COMING OFF. WOW,
COOL THINGS LIKE THAT NEVER
HAPPEN AT ADVENTIST SCHOOL.
RORY.
SOMEONE WROTE "DIE
JERK" ON OUR DOOR.
I THOUGHT THE PERSON WHO DID IT
WAS BACK TO KEEP THE PROMISE.
WHO DID THIS? I DON'T KNOW.
WE'LL FIND OUT AND
STRIKE BACK HARD.
COME ON, WE'RE
ASSEMBLING INSIDE.
LANE, I GOTTA GO.
WE'RE ASSEMBLING.
SORRY ABOUT THE JUG.
IT'S OK. KEEP ME POSTED.
YEAH, YOU, TOO. BYE.
WHAT'S YOUR BUSINESS HERE?
FUN STUFF, HUH, GUYS?
YEAH, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I MAY'VE BEEN HERE
WHEN IT HAPPENED.
AND YOU HEARD NOTHING? NO.
WAY TO HAVE THAT RADAR UP.
LET'S NOT MAKE
EACH OTHER FEEL BAD.
HEY, HUG A DOLPHIN
ANOTHER DAY, ALL RIGHT?
WE NEED TO REV UP THE
GUNSHIPS AND RETALIATE.
WE GOTTA GO FULL-OUT SHARON.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
THERE'S GONNA BE ANOTHER STRIKE?
YOU WANNA WAIT TO FIND OUT?
NOW FIRST, WE SHOULD EACH
MAKE A LIST OF OUR ENEMIES,
STARTING WITH MOST RECENT,
AND WORKING OUR WAY BACK.
CAN'T WE LET THIS GO?
IT MAY JUST BE A JOKE.
I'M NOT LAUGHING.
ANYONE HERE LAUGHING?
I... I GUESS IT IS VANDALISM.
MORE THAN THAT.
THIS IS AN ASSAULT
THAT SHOULD BE MET HEAD-ON
USING EXTREME PREJUDICE.
NOW, LET'S FACE IT. I'M
THE MOST LIKELY TARGET.
SO I'VE ALREADY MADE
UP A LIST OF ENEMIES,
WHICH I'VE NARROWED
DOWN FROM 26 TO 5.
JUST AT YALE? JUST
IN THIS BUILDING.
MAYBE WE SHOULD MOVE.
RETREAT? I THINK NOT.
THERE'S A GIRL IN MY VOLLEYBALL
TEAM WHO'S LIVID AT ME.
I KISSED HER BOYFRIEND.
I'M EXCEEDINGLY DULL.
KEEP HER CLOSE. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ME?
MADE ANYONE MAD LATELY?
OH, PLEASE, THAT WOULD BE LIKE
DOROTHY PISSING OFF THE TIN MAN.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I'M
NOT LEAVING MY ROOM.
I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED
ON MY PERSON.
MY 5 ARE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF.
THEY'RE TAKEN CARE OF?
I GOT MY EAST SIDE
860 PARTNERS ON IT.
NOW, LET'S MOVE.
WANT TO WATCH TV?
SOMETHING LIGHT.
I'M WITH YOU.
HI, LUKE. HEY. TAKE
A SEAT ANYWHERE.
VERY HUNGRY.
YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE
IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
TWICE. WHAT?
THIS IS MY 2ND TRIP TODAY.
OH, RIGHT, YEAH. WELL,
Y-Y-YOU DIDN'T EAT?
OH, YOU KNEW I WAS HERE?
WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY?
I WASN'T THAT HUNGRY. WELL.
SO, WHAT'S NEW?
UH, GOT SOME NEW COFFEE POTS.
ANYTHING ELSE? NEW FILTERS.
ANYTHING ELSE? NO.
ANYTHING ELSE?
OTHER THAN "NO"? NO.
NICOLE, LUKE. NICOLE WAS HERE.
SHE'S THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU
THAT I WAS HERE AND DIDN'T STAY.
SHE'S NEW. NOTHING NEW?
WELL, YOU SAW
HER, SO IT'S NOT NEW.
OH, IT'S SO NEW.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON THERE?
WELL, WE'RE KIND OF
SEEING EACH OTHER, AGAIN.
THANK YOU. AND, BOY!
IT'S NOT HEAVY-DUTY.
SO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING
DIVORCED? YEAH, WE PUT IT ON HOLD.
PUT THE DIVORCE ON HOLD? YEAH.
CAN YOU DO THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S ALL NEW TO ME.
SO, UM, IS SHE
MOVING IN WITH YOU?
NO.
WHAT NO? YOU'RE HUSBAND AND
WIFE. IT'S NOT A CRAZY QUESTION.
YEAH, WE'RE MAN AND WOMAN.
WE'RE SEEING EACH OTHER AS
IF WE'RE NOT HUSBAND AND WIFE.
AH, WELL.
THE STATE OF CONNECTICUT
SEES IT DIFFERENTLY.
TO THE STATE, YOU'RE
SHARING A TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
AND DECIDING TOGETHER WHETHER
THERE'S ENOUGH IN THE DISHWASHER
TO JUSTIFY RUNNING IT.
HOPEFULLY, THE STATE
WILL STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
NOW, WHAT ABOUT
TAXES? WHAT ABOUT 'EM?
WELL, YOU FILE SINGLE,
JOINTLY? I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU DO?
THAT'S NOT FOR MONTHS.
YOU CAN'T PUT IT OFF.
I'M NOT DOING MY
TAXES RIGHT NOW.
CAPONE? WHAT?
THEY GOT HIM FOR TAX EVASION.
I DON'T PLAN ON
EVADING MY TAXES.
LOOK, WHY ARE YOU PRESSING THIS?
BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD.
YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD?
YES. I... I AM A CROSS
SECTION OF THE COMMUNITY.
IF I THINK IT'S WEIRD, THEN
RORY THINKS IT'S WEIRD.
IF RORY THINKS THAT, THEN MISS PATTY
THINKS THAT, AND SO ON AND SO ON.
WE'RE JUST NOT DEALIN'
WITH IT RIGHT NOW.
WE'RE JUST LETTIN' THINGS
HAPPEN AS THEY HAPPEN.
WE'RE GOIN' WITH THE FLOW.
YOU'RE GOIN' WITH THE FLOW?
WE'RE GOING WITH THE FLOW.
OH, THAT'S SO STRUM YOUR SITAR,
DIG THE MAHARISHI,
PASS THE OWSLEY, SUMMER OF LOVE,
FLOWER POWER, HIPPIE-DIPPIE.
CAN'T STAND IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT
EXPECTING A WEDDING PRESENT.
'CAUSE I'M, JUST,
PUTTIN' IT ON HOLD
TILL THIS WHOLE THING CLEARS UP.
FINE.
IT'S A GOOD PRESENT.
YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT YET.
IT WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD PRESENT.
LOOK, WHAT IS IT?
Y-YOU DON'T LIKE NICOLE?
I LIKE NICOLE. SHE'S VERY NICE.
I DON'T THINK SHE LIKES ME.
SHE LIKES YOU FINE.
AND, YES, SHE IS VERY NICE.
AND I MISSED HER AND
SHE MISSED ME AND...
SO WE'RE DATIN' AGAIN
PUTTIN' OFF THE HASSLE OF
GETTING A STUPID DIVORCE.
AVOIDING THAT HASSLE IS
THE NICE FRINGE BENEFIT
OF GETTIN' BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
UH-HUH, THE HASSLE. NOW
WE'RE GETTING DOWN TO IT.
IF THE DIVORCE WASN'T A HASSLE,
WOULD YOU HAVE GOTTEN
BACK TOGETHER WITH HER?
I DON'T WANNA TALK
ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.
IS THAT WHY WE'RE FRIENDS,
'CAUSE IT'LL BE A HASSLE TO TELL
ME YOU DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS?
WHAT DO YOU WANNA EAT?
EATING'S A HASSLE.
I'LL JUST STARVE.
FINE. AND I'LL
STARVE RIGHT HERE,
BECAUSE IT'D BE TOO BIG A
HASSLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE.
I'LL WORK AROUND YOU.
AND IF IT'S TOO BIG A HASSLE
TO GET RID OF MY BODY
AFTER I DIE OF STARVATION,
JUST LEAVE IT HERE TO DECOMPOSE
ALL NICE AND QUIET. NO HASSLE.
GOOD. SEE YOU.
WOW, SHE'S MOVING.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT
THE DECOMPOSING HERE.
BUT YOU STILL HAVEN'T
EATEN. I'M NOT HUNGRY, AGAIN.
FINE. SEE YOU.
AND I LIKED THE OLD COFFEE POTS.
THE NEW ONES LOOK STUPID.
HEY, SOMEONE WAS
LOOKING FOR YOU.
OH, WHO?
IT'S PROBABLY BETTER
THAT THEY DON'T FIND YOU.
YOU ARE VERY BRAVE. WHAT?
IF YOU HEAR THE RUSTLE OF
TULLE COMING UP BEHIND YOU, RUN.
THAT'S GREAT.
YEAH. SHE'S OVER THERE.
RORY GILMORE?
YEAH. REMEMBER ME?
I DON'T THINK SO.
THAT'S VERY FLATTERING.
CAN I HELP YOU?
LET'S SEE IF THIS
JOGS YOUR MEMORY.
I HAVE THE GRACE OF A
DRUNKEN DOCK WORKER?
OH. REMEMBER ME NOW?
THE BALLERINA FROM THE BALLET.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR OUTFITS ARE MADE
OF TULLE, AREN'T THEY?
YOU'RE A JERK!
I KNOW. YOU WROTE
THAT ON MY DOOR.
YOU'RE LUCKY THAT'S ALL I
DID. SHOULD WE GO ELSEWHERE?
YOUR REVIEW WAS MEAN,
PETTY, AND DESPICABLE.
LOOK, SANDRA. THAT'S
YOUR NAME, RIGHT?
SANDRA, THIS WAS ALL
IN THE LINE OF DUTY.
IT WAS AN ASSIGNMENT
FROM MY EDITOR,
SO, THERE WAS
NOTHING PERSONAL, OK?
YOU CALLED ME A HIPPO.
NO, I COMPARED YOU TO A HIPPO.
THAT'S NOT CALLING YOU A HIPPO.
AND IT WAS A
HUMOROUS COMPARISON.
I WAS TRYING TO... TO
DESTROY ME AND MY COMPANY.
NO. AND THINK ABOUT IT,
I BET THAT, MORE THAN LIKELY,
VERY FEW PEOPLE WILL
EVEN READ THE REVIEW.
AND MOST PEOPLE AREN'T EVEN
INTERESTED IN BALLET IN THE FIRST PLACE.
IT'S UNFORTUNATE AND
AWFUL, AND I HATE IT.
BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO?
IT'S AVRIL LAVIGNE'S
WORLD. WE'RE JUST LIVIN' IN IT.
PLUS, MOST PEOPLE LEFT BEFORE
THE END, AND I STUCK IT OUT.
THAT'S SOMETHING.
I'M CURIOUS.
HOW MUCH BALLET
EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE?
YOU MUST HAVE A LOT, SINCE YOU
WRITE ABOUT IT WITH SUCH AUTHORITY.
WELL, NONE TO SPEAK OF.
I HAD A FEW YEARS
OF BEGINNERS'
CLASS, AND I STUNK.
ANYBODY WRITE
ABOUT IT IN THE PAPER?
NO. GOOD POINT.
I'VE BEEN DANCING,
3 HOURS A DAY,
7 DAYS A WEEK, FOR 14 YEARS.
I'VE DONE 2 SUMMER SESSIONS
WITH THE MIAMI BALLET.
AND I'M ON THE WAITING
LIST AT JUILLIARD.
AND NOW YOUR REVIEW IS OUT
THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!
LOOK, I... YOU'RE A JERK!
I JUST WANTED TO COME
TELL YOU THAT TO YOUR FACE.
YOU'RE A JERK,
AND I HOPE YOU DIE.
BYE, JERK. DIE, JERK!
THE DOOR THING, WAS ABOUT YOU?
APPARENTLY.
THE STRIKE IS OFF.
STAND DOWN. I
REPEAT, STAND DOWN.
HI, MOM.
COME IN, COME IN.
OOH, YOU LOOK TENSER THAN USUAL.
WHAT'S WRONG?
OH, IT'S YOUR FATHER. I WANTED
HIM TO GO UPSTAIRS AND CLEAN UP
BUT I CAN'T PRY HIM AWAY
FROM THAT PARTNER OF HIS.
HMM. DIGGER'S HERE?
THEY'RE IN THE STUDY DOING
SOMETHING COMPUTERY.
WHEN DID WE SUDDENLY BECOME
SO DEPENDENT ON COMPUTERS?
FINALLY.
HOW FAR CAN I GO, JASON?
AS FAR AS YOU WANT. IT
SHOULD WORK ANYWHERE.
FANTASTIC.
RICHARD, OUR COMPANY'S HERE.
WE HAVE COMPANY?
OH, ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST ME.
OH, WELL, I SUPPOSE
YOU'RE COMPANY.
SAY, ARE YOU AND RORY WIRELESS?
OH, NO, WE'RE PRETTY
WIRED MOST OF THE TIME.
WHY ARE YOU CARRYING THAT?
WE'RE TESTING IT.
JASON HERE HAS JUST
HELPED ME HOOK UP
A WIRELESS NETWORK FOR
THE HOUSE. WI-FI, IT'S CALLED.
AH, NEAT.
IS THAT NECESSARY?
OH, LORELAI, THIS
IS JASON STILES.
WE'VE MET. REALLY?
EMILY, THEY KNEW EACH
OTHER AS KIDS. YOU KNEW THAT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
OH, SAME HERE.
LOOK AT THIS! I'M
WALKING AROUND,
AND I'M STILL ON THE INTERNET.
EMILY, I'M GOING TO GOOGLE YOU.
YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT
GOING TO GOOGLE ME.
IT'S A SEARCH ENGINE, EMILY.
HE'S JUST GONNA FIND
YOU OUT IN CYBERSPACE.
THIS SOUNDS ABSURD.
NO. CAN'T USE A LAPTOP HERE.
THE SIGNAL DOESN'T REACH.
WHEN DO YOU PLAN TO USE IT IN
THE DARK CORNER BY THE STAIRCASE?
WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW.
I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF YOUR
USING IT ANYWHERE BUT YOUR STUDY.
I'M JUST TESTING IT.
THEY'RE ALWAYS FIGHTING
OVER TOYS, THESE TWO.
IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR OUT HERE.
RICHARD, IT'S FREEZING OUTSIDE.
I WON'T BE A MINUTE.
RIDICULOUS.
I HAVE TO GO CHECK
ON DINNER. EXCUSE ME.
SO, UM, HOW HAVE YOU
BEEN THESE PAST 25 YEARS?
GOOD. MOVED OUT OF
MY PARENTS' HOUSE.
RAD. LOVE THE FREEDOM.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
HIDE THE BONG ANYMORE.
HEY, DID YOU GET
ANY FLOWERS LATELY?
UH, SEVERAL TIMES.
APPARENTLY I HAVE
A SECRET ADMIRER.
I SIGNED ALL THE CARDS "JASON."
I THOUGHT IT WAS
JASON PRIESTLEY.
YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED.
NO, I JUST WISH I HADN'T
SLEPT WITH JASON PRIESTLEY.
HOW'S THE NEW INN? COMING
ALONG. WE'RE GONNA HAVE HORSES.
TALKING HORSES?
NO, JUST THE REGULAR ONES.
WE COULD GET MARRIED THERE.
WHERE? THE INN, ON HORSEBACK.
OH. SO, YOU UNWIRED
MY FATHER, HUH?
PER RICHARD'S
REQUEST. HE WANTED IT.
EMILY DOESN'T.
I CANNOT WIN WITH HER.
YOU'RE GETTIN' THE
TRIPLE FREEZE FROM HER.
TAKES THE ONUS OFF HER DAUGHTER.
THE MORE SHE HATES ME, THE MORE
LIKELY IT IS THAT YOU'LL DATE ME.
THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY THE CASE.
GOOD, BECAUSE I GOTTA MAKE
SOME SERIOUS PROGRESS WITH HER.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. MAYBE I
SHOULD GET HER TO INVITE ME TO DINNER.
HA! HEY.
I'M SORRY. AS IF YOU
CONTROL THESE THINGS.
WELL, I'M NOT GOD,
BUT I HAVE INFLUENCE.
NO WAY IS SHE
INVITING YOU TO DINNER.
WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH ME STAYING FOR DINNER?
NO. YOU WON'T STAY
BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE INVITED.
I WILL. LET'S SEE IT.
HEY.
HI, HON.
JASON, THIS IS MY DAUGHTER
RORY. RORY, JASON.
RIGHT. SCOOPER.
DIGGER. SORRY. DIGGER.
IT'S NICE TO MEET
YOU. AND I DON'T REALLY
GO BY "DIGGER" ANYMORE.
WHAT IS IT, "P. DIGGER" NOW?
I'LL JUST CALL YOU JASON.
YOU'RE A VERY KIND YOUNG LADY.
OH, DEAR.
JASON, I JUST HIT F12, AND
EVERYTHING'S GOING TO HELL.
EASILY FIXED.
HEY. HOW ARE THINGS?
SURREAL. ON A WHOLE
NEW LEVEL OF SURREAL.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I WAS HARANGUED BY
AN INCENSED BALLERINA.
THAT IS SALVADOR DALI SURREAL.
WHAT BALLERINA?
FROM THE BALLET WE WENT
TO, THE ONE I WROTE ABOUT.
THIS GIRL MARCHED UP
TO ME IN THE DINING HALL
AND BUSTED ME ON THE
BAD REVIEW I GAVE HER.
UH, WAIT A SECOND.
ARE PEOPLE ALLOWED
TO YELL AT THE REVIEWER?
I FROWN ON IT.
I MEAN, IT'S UPSETTING
AND RIDICULOUS.
I'LL PROBABLY LAUGH AT IT
SOMEDAY, BUT NOT TODAY.
WHAT DID YOU WRITE?
I BROUGHT IT FOR YOU TO
READ. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK,
BECAUSE MY PICKY EDITOR
LOVED IT. I MEAN, LOVED IT.
SURE, SURE. THIS IS VERY WEIRD.
VERY WEIRD.
WHOA.
WHAT?
YOU REALLY HATED THIS BALLET.
WE BOTH REALLY
HATED IT. REMEMBER?
YEAH, I DO.
JEEZ!
OH, NOW, COME ON.
THIS IS JUST SO HARSH.
AGAIN, YOU WERE THERE.
I KNOW. BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT SEEING IT IN PRINT.
PEOPLE DON'T WRITE
AS MEAN AS THEY TALK,
EXCEPT YOU.
I WROTE WHAT I FELT.
"THE ROLL AROUND THE BRA STRAP"?
THAT WAS YOUR LINE!
IT WAS? I'M AWFUL.
IT'S NOT EVEN CRITICAL
OF THE BALLERINA'S SKILLS.
IT'S CRITICAL OF THE
COSTUMER'S SKILLS.
BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE COULDN'T
FIT INTO A STANDARD LEOTARD.
SHE COULDN'T!
BUT AGAIN, THE COSTUMER
SHOULD HAVE PUT HER
IN A LARGER LEOTARD.
DO I SEE THE WORD
"HIPPO" COMING UP?
G-GIVE ME THE PAPER.
I'M SORRY. IT'S
JUST SO SPECIFIC.
IT'S WHAT I SAW, SO I WROTE IT.
THAT'S WHAT THE
EDITOR TOLD ME TO DO.
THEN YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
I WAS TOO HARSH.
YOU SAID YOURSELF, YOU
WERE SUPPOSED TO BE.
RORY, YOU'RE HERE. GOOD.
HI, GRANDMA.
DON'T TELL ME RICHARD
IS STILL TRAIPSING AROUND
WITH THAT THING.
RICHARD, PLEASE COME
INSIDE AND CLOSE THE DOOR.
COMING, COMING.
OH, JASON, YOU'RE STILL HERE.
OH, I WOULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT
SAYING GOODBYE TO YOU, EMILY.
WHAT YOU GOT THERE, GRANDPA?
A LAPTOP.
THE GILMORE HOUSE
IS NOW WIRELESS.
COOL.
AND THE LAPTOP IS NOW
GOING BACK IN ITS CASE
BECAUSE DINNER IS READY.
I'LL BE TAKING OFF. I'VE GOT A
CHEESEBURGER WAITING FOR ME.
GOODBYE, JASON.
A CHEESEBURGER?
THAT'S NOT A PROPER MEAL.
OH, PLEASE, RICHARD,
IT'S MY FAVORITE MEAL.
I'VE HAD ONE 3 TIMES THIS WEEK.
YOU'RE JOKING.
WITH THE RIGHT BREAD AND MEAT, A
CHEESEBURGER CAN MAKE A FINE MEAL.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE DEFENDING CHEESEBURGERS?
WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU HAD ONE?
THIS ISN'T JUST ANY
CHEESEBURGER, RICHARD.
THERE'S THIS STAND THAT
MAKES THEM SPECIAL FOR ME.
A STAND?
I HEAR THOSE CAN BE VERY GOOD.
ARE WE GOING TO SEND THIS YOUNG
BACHELOR OUT FOR FAST FOOD?
OH, NO, NO, NO. I COULDN'T STAY.
I'D BE PUTTING YOU OUT.
NONSENSE.
I'M NOT SURE WE HAVE ENOUGH.
WE ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH.
NO, NO, NO, NO. I
WOULDN'T HEAR OF IT.
EMILY, MY BUSINESS PARTNER
IS GOING TO BE STANDING OUTSIDE
EATING A CHEESEBURGER.
JASON, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO JOIN US FOR DINNER?
THE CHEESEBURGER
WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT.
I'LL TELL THE COOK.
CHEESEBURGER.
THIS FOOD IS INCREDIBLE, EMILY.
YEAH. IT'S MY FIRST
LOBSTER THERMIDOR.
YOUR RECIPE?
NO.
HEY, CAN YOU
THERMIDOR OTHER FOODS
YOU KNOW, FISH THERMIDOR,
UH, SPAM THERMIDOR,
ENCHILADAS THERMIDOR?
I DON'T THINK SO.
CORA, SINCE WE'RE
5 INSTEAD OF 4,
RICHARD AND I WILL
RATION IF WE HAVE TO.
OH, I DON'T THINK RATIONING
WILL BE NECESSARY.
YEAH. YOU CAN JUST
PICK OFF MY PLATE.
YOU'VE FORGOTTEN ALL
ABOUT THAT BURGER, I HOPE.
AFTER THE FIRST MOUTHFUL. GOOD.
HAVING A COMPUTER WITH A
HIGH-SPEED INTERNET ACCESS
IS GONNA FREE UP
YOUR TIME ENORMOUSLY.
OH, I SHOULD SAY SO. HOW?
HOW IS IT GONNA
FREE UP HIS TIME? YES.
WELL, HE'LL BE USING
E-MAIL MORE, WHICH MEANS
FEWER PHONE CALLS WITH CHIT-CHAT
THAT YOU HAVE TO DO BEFORE
YOU GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
THAT'S WHAT EATS
UP MOST OF THE TIME.
E-MAIL SEEMS VERY COLD TO ME.
BUT FAST.
FAST ISN'T ALWAYS BETTER.
A GOOD POINT, AND VERY TRUE.
OH, JASON WAS SAYING YOU'LL
GET USE OUT OF THIS SYSTEM, TOO.
ME? HOW?
THE INTERNET. HAVE
YOU CHECKED IT OUT?
I'D HAVE NO USE FOR IT.
I WOULDN'T DISMISS IT SO FAST.
THE INTERNET IS MORE
THAN JUST GOOD PORN.
YEAH, I'M ON IT CONSTANTLY.
WHAT DO YOU USE IT FOR?
RESEARCH, LIKE FOR WHEN
I CAN'T GET TO THE LIBRARY.
AND FOR SHOPPING.
YEAH, SHOPPING.
A LOT OF SHOPPING. SHOPPING?
THE STORES YOU NORMALLY HAVE TO
GO TO, THEY'RE ON THE INTERNET NOW.
BUT GOING TO A NICE STORE
IS HALF THE FUN OF SHOPPING.
I LIKE BEING GREETED
AT THE DOOR,
AND THE BUSTLE OF PEOPLE
AND THE SHOES AND CLOTHES
ALL LINED UP NICE AND PRETTY.
THAT'S TRUE.
YEAH, WE LIKE THAT, TOO.
HAVING SOMEONE HELP YOU
PICK OUT THE RIGHT THING
OR HELP YOU EXCHANGE
IT IF IT'S NOT RIGHT.
WITH THE INTERNET, WHAT
DO YOU DO, MAIL IT BACK?
WE USUALLY JUST FORGET. YEAH.
SO YOU'RE JUST OUT THE MONEY?
PRETTY MUCH.
I DON'T GET IT.
I DON'T GET IT ANYMORE, EITHER.
WE SHOULD GO TO REAL
STORES MORE OFTEN.
BUT THE INTERNET IS REALLY GOOD.
THANKS.
SO, WHICH CAMP WAS
IT WHERE YOU TWO MET?
MMM. IT HAD A FUNNY
NAME AND CANOES.
THEY ALL HAVE FUNNY NAMES AND
CANOES. WAS IT, UH, CAMP WAZIYATAH?
DOESN'T SOUND FAMILIAR.
WHICH ONE ASKED ME TO LEAVE?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF CAMP?
I TRIED TO LIBERATE THE HORSES.
CAMP CHATAGUAY.
THAT'S WHERE WE MET.
THAT'S THE ONE.
I ENJOYED CAMP. MADE SOME GOOD
FRIENDS. I MET YOUR FATHER THERE.
DAD? REALLY?
WE BUNKED TOGETHER FOR A SUMMER.
INCREDIBLE ATHLETE AND A
GOOD GUY. A REALLY GOOD GUY.
HE HATED YOU. WHAT?
WITH A PASSION. NO, I
DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
I'M PRETTY SURE.
DIDN'T HE TRY TO DUNK
YOUR HEAD IN A TOILET BOWL
AFTER YOU HECKLED HIM DURING
SOME CAMPFIRE TALENT SHOW?
NO, I DON'T... OH, MY GOD!
I'VE BEEN REPRESSING THAT.
OH, THAT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE CHRISTOPHER.
NO, IT'S OK, RICHARD. I'M
POSITIVE I DESERVED IT.
RORY, I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO MENTION TO YOU
WE READ THAT WONDERFUL
REVIEW YOU WROTE ON THE BALLET.
IT WAS EXCELLENT.
YOU EVISCERATED THAT GIRL.
I ACTUALLY DIDN'T MEAN
TO EVISCERATE HER.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE HONEST.
WELL, YOU HONESTLY SLICED HER
OPEN AND RIPPED OUT HER GUTS.
YOUR PEN WAS YOUR KNIFE.
RIGHT.
I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE
REFERENCE TO THE HIPPO.
THAT SEEMS TO BE THE
MOST MEMORABLE FOR PEOPLE.
AND THE BRA STRAP.
I'LL GIVE YOU A COPY OF
IT TO READ. IT'S TERRIFIC.
IT SOUNDS INTERESTING.
I JUST WROTE WHAT I THOUGHT.
AND THE LINE ABOUT
REGRETTING HOW EVOLUTION
HAD LED MAN TO STAND ON 2 FEET
BECAUSE IT LED TO THIS NIGHT.
SORRY. I HADN'T READ THAT FAR.
WHY ARE YOU
APOLOGIZING? IT'S FUNNY.
THE BALLERINA HAD KIND OF A
NEGATIVE REACTION TO THE WHOLE THING.
SO WHAT? DON'T FEEL
BADLY ABOUT THIS, RORY.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON'T
KNOW AT A YOUNG AGE
THAT THEY'RE NOT GOOD
AT DOING SOMETHING.
NOW THAT POOR GIRL CAN
GO TO BUSINESS SCHOOL.
SHE'S ACTUALLY NOT
AS BAD AS SHE SOUNDS.
IT'S RARE TO READ
A TRUTHFUL REVIEW.
I WAS GOING TO GO
SEE THAT BALLET.
NOW I DON'T HAVE TO. THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME, I GUESS.
WE WERE JUST BURNED BY A
DISHONEST REVIEW IN THE COURANT.
THAT FRENCH RESTAURANT.
THEY MUST HAVE HAD THE
REVIEWER IN THEIR POCKET.
THE MAN RAVED ABOUT THIS
PLACE, AND IT WAS ABOMINABLE.
THE FOOD WAS INEDIBLE.
AND THE SERVICE? I HAD TO SNAP MY
FINGERS TO GET OUR WAITER'S ATTENTION.
AS A WOMAN OF TASTE
I COULD USE YOUR RECOMMENDATION
OF RESTAURANTS IN THE AREA.
I'VE BEEN AWAY SO LONG,
I'M JUST WOEFULLY OUT OF TOUCH.
I'M NO MORE AN EXPERT
THAN THE NEXT PERSON.
YOU'RE BEING HUMBLE.
COUGH IT UP. YOU'VE
BEEN EVERYWHERE.
MULTIPLE TIMES.
WELL, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
A PLACE FOR A BUSINESS LUNCH
YOU CAN'T DO BETTER
THAN PORTOFINO'S.
THEY GIVE YOU ATTENTIVE
SERVICE WITHOUT RUSHING YOU
AND IT'S WONDERFUL ITALIAN FOOD.
WELL, YOU CAN'T BEAT ITALIAN.
IS THERE ANYONE HERE
WHO DOESN'T LOVE ITALIAN?
NOT ME. OR ME.
GOOD TO KNOW.
ANYTHING ELSE, EMILY?
YOU NEED MORE?
PLEASE. I'M A DESPERATE MAN.
DON'T BE SHY, EMILY. YOU'RE
A WALKING ZAGAT GUIDE.
WELL, THERE'S
ALWAYS LIL'S FOR STEAK.
STEAK'S ALWAYS GOOD. I'M
GOOD WITH THAT ANYTIME.
I LOVE STEAK. REALLY?
SO STEAK IS GOOD.
HOW ABOUT ETHNIC
FOOD? INDIAN? THAI?
I PERSONALLY DETEST THAI FOOD.
ME, TOO. CHINESE IS GOOD.
AS LONG AS IT'S AUTHENTIC.
SO CROSS THAI OFF THE LIST.
I WOULD. SAME HERE.
HOW ABOUT SOMETHING WITH A
MORE ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE?
WHY WOULD YOU NEED A
ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE
FOR BUSINESS?
YEAH, WHY?
I'D LIKE TO KNOW MYSELF.
A CLIENT MIGHT WANT A
RECOMMENDATION FOR HIM AND HIS WIFE.
I WOULD LIKE TO BE PREPARED.
MY PARTNER.
THAT WOULD BE MILL ON THE RIVER.
OH, YES.
VERY DARK, VERY ATMOSPHERIC.
SOUNDS NICE.
VERY.
GOOD. WE'VE MADE PROGRESS HERE.
BUT I'M MONOPOLIZING
THE CONVERSATION.
OH, THAT'S OK.
CAN I CALL YOU LATER
TO CONTINUE THIS?
ABSOLUTELY. CALL ME
SOMETIME NEXT WEEK.
I'LL BE SURE TO DO THAT.
YOU WANT TO
RE-REVIEW THE BALLET?
YES, I DO, DOYLE.
I HAVE A BRAND-NEW
PERSPECTIVE ON IT, AND ON DANCE.
I WAS IGNORANT BEFORE. SO
THIS WOULD BE A WHOLE NEW PIECE.
WE DON'T RE-REVIEW THINGS.
WELL, THERE'S A FIRST
TIME FOR EVERYTHING.
I COULD BUY MY OWN
TICKET IF THAT'S A PROBLEM.
BUT IT CLOSED EARLY
BECAUSE OF YOUR REVIEW.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
BUT IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
I'LL JUST REDO THE
ONE I ALREADY DID.
THAT BALLET IS SEARED IN THERE,
SO I COULD JUST
REPLAY IT IN MY HEAD.
YOUR REVIEW WAS GREAT.
PEOPLE ARE STILL TALKIN'
ABOUT IT. THAT'S PRETTY RARE.
OK, OK. WELL, WHAT ABOUT
JUST A GENERAL-INTEREST ARTICLE
ON THE LEAD BALLERINA?
IS SHE THE HIPPO?
NO. NO.
SHE IS AN ACCOMPLISHED DANCER
AND HER LIFE IS
QUITE FASCINATING.
DID YOU KNOW THAT SHE
STUDIED DANCE FOR 14 YEARS
AND HAS PERFORMED IN MIAMI?
MIAMI. THAT'S PRETTY BIG.
MIAMI.
IT'S BORING.
SHE ALMOST GOT INTO JUILLIARD.
THAT'S NOT INTERESTING, EITHER.
WELL, NO. BUT THESE ARE
SIMPLY BACKGROUND FACTS
OF A FASCINATING
PERSONAL JOURNEY.
A PERSONAL JOURNEY OF AN ARTIST
STRUGGLING AGAINST THE
INDIFFERENCE OF AN INDIFFERENT SOCIETY
JUST DANCING AS
FAST AS SHE CAN AND...
WELL, IT'S 8 MILE MEETS FAME.
I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
WHAT?
YOU'RE FEELING BAD ABOUT
THE EFFECT THE ARTICLE HAD
ON THE PEOPLE IN THE BALLET.
NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
I HEARD OF THE DINING
HALL CONFRONTATION.
THAT WAS NOT REALLY A
CONFRONTATION. WE WERE JUST CHATTING.
IT GOES WITH THE TERRITORY.
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I
REVIEWED A CLOG-DANCING TEAM
THAT WAS REALLY BAD,
EVEN COMPARED TO
OTHER CLOG DANCERS.
I WAS MERCILESS.
BUT, BUT IF I CAN'T RE-REVIEW IT
THEN CAN I JUST PRINT
WHAT I MEANT TO PUT IN,
AND DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO?
HURTING PEOPLE'S
FEELINGS IS WHAT WE DO.
BUT WHEN I BECOME
A REAL JOURNALIST
THE PEOPLE IN MY REVIEWS
AREN'T GONNA LIVE IN MY BUILDING.
DOESN'T MATTER.
WHEN YOU WRITE FOR THE YALE DAILY
NEWS, YOU ARE A REAL JOURNALIST.
I DIDN'T MEAN...
IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE
IT, YOU SHOULD LEAVE.
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE PAPER.
GOOD.
HERE.
YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT.
THANKS.
KNOCK 'EM DEAD.
DINNER IS GOING TO BE
A LITTLE LATE TONIGHT.
MY GLUTEN PATTIES CAUGHT FIRE.
SO WE'RE SWITCHING TO
SPAGHETTI AND WHEAT BALLS.
MAMA, CAN WE TALK
ABOUT SOMETHING?
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S THE JUG FOR DAVE.
I GAVE THAT TO YOU DAYS
AGO. WHY HAVEN'T YOU SENT IT?
I CAN'T SEND IT, MAMA.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OF COURSE YOU CAN.
I SHOWED YOU HOW TO
TAPE THE BUBBLE WRAP.
NO, I MEAN I CAN'T!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
MAMA, PLEASE LISTEN. ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS IMPORTANT,
AND I WANT TO BE CLEAR.
AND I WANT TO SAY IT
RIGHT, BUT IT'S HARD.
I'M LISTENING.
DAVE IS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND,
AND HE'S IMPORTANT
TO ME. VERY IMPORTANT.
I KNOW THAT.
AND HIS BEING IN CALIFORNIA
LIKE THIS, IT'S BEEN HARD
AND IT'S EVEN CAUSED
SOME PROBLEMS.
BUT IN OTHER WAYS, I THINK
IT'S BROUGHT US CLOSER.
YES?
BUT I'M STILL IN SCHOOL,
AND HE'S STILL IN SCHOOL.
AND WHILE I RESPECT
YOU, AND I RESPECT THE JUG
AND ALL THAT THE JUG REPRESENTS
ALL THE BRIGHT HOPES
AND ALL THE TRADITION
I CANNOT GIVE DAVE THE JUG.
NOT NOW.
MAYBE ONE DAY, BUT NOT NOW.
OK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU'RE PUTTING IT WITH ALL
THE CLEARANCE ITEMS? SO?
YOU'RE SELLING MY
MARRIAGE JUG? YOUR WHAT?
MY MARRIAGE JUG. WHAT'S THAT?
THE JUG YOU KEPT TO GIVE
TO THE BOY I'M GOING TO MARRY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU TOLD ME WHEN I WAS 6 THAT
THIS WAS MY SPECIAL MARRIAGE JUG
THAT YOU'D KEEP ON
A SPECIAL HIGH SHELF
FOR THE BOY I'M GOING TO MARRY.
THIS THING?
YES.
IT'S JUST A JUG. WHAT?
I PROBABLY TOLD YOU THAT
TO MAKE YOU STOP CRYING.
YOU ALWAYS CRIED WHEN YOU
WERE LITTLE. GAVE ME A HEADACHE.
IT'S JUST A JUG?
I'VE GOT TONS OF THEM.
THEY'RE HARD TO MOVE.
WE COULD MAKE IT A MARRIAGE JUG,
WHATEVER THAT IS.
NO, NO. NEVER MIND.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I'LL SEND SOMETHING
ELSE TO DAVE.
GOOD.
OOH! MY WHEAT BALLS!
SO, WHY CAN'T YOU SHOW
YOUR FACE AT LUKE'S?
IT'S JUST FOR A WHILE.
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
THE THEATER. THAT'S
WHY I'M TALKING SOFTLY.
I'M REVIEWING SOME MUSIC THING.
SO, WHY CAN'T YOU GO TO LUKE'S?
I GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT
WITH LUKE ABOUT NICOLE.
NICOLE?
THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
I WALK INTO LUKE'S,
AND THERE SHE IS.
AND HE HADN'T TOLD YOU?
NO. I WAS THE VERY
PICTURE OF AWKWARDNESS.
AND, BASICALLY, I JUST FLED.
AND WHEN I SAW LUKE LATER,
WE GOT INTO A FIGHT ABOUT IT.
AND I TOLD HIM HIS
COFFEE POTS WERE STUPID.
SO IT WAS VERY SOPHISTICATED.
HE IS SO GUARDED,
SO UNCOOPERATIVE.
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET OVER
YOUR PROBLEM WITH LUKE
BEING UNCOOPERATIVE.
I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE
WEIRDNESS BETWEEN ME AND NICOLE
IF SHE'S BACK IN OUR LIVES.
I MEAN, LUKE HAS GOTTA GET
IT THROUGH HIS THICK SKULL
THAT WHOEVER IS IN
HIS LIFE IS IN MY LIFE, TOO.
REALLY? YES.
THAT'S NOT A LITTLE STALKERY?
NO. WE ARE A SMALL,
CLOSE-KNIT COMMUNITY.
SO, YOU'RE GONNA
TELL LUKE ABOUT JASON?
WHAT ABOUT HIM?
THERE'S SOMETHING
HAPPENING THERE.
NOT REALLY.
THERE WAS A PALPABLE VIBE.
PALPABLE TO EVERYONE?
JUST ME. GRANDMA AND
GRANDPA WERE OBLIVIOUS.
HEY, WOULD THAT BE CRAZY?
WHAT?
FOR US TO GO OUT TOGETHER?
ALL 3 OF US?
JASON AND I.
UH, A LITTLE.
WELL, YEAH. I HAVEN'T DECIDED.
WELL, I'M HAPPY TO REPORT
THAT THERE HAVE BEEN
NO MORE RUN-INS
WITH THE BALLERINA.
GOOD.
WE'RE NOT DESTINED TO BE BUDDIES
BUT SOMETIMES YOU
HAVE TO MAKE AN ENEMY.
WHEN YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO.
THEN YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO.
IT'S STARTING. I GOTTA GO.
OK. HAVE FUN.
I WILL.
♪ MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT ASHORE ♪
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT ASHORE ♪
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ SISTER, HELP TO
TRIM THE SAILS ♪
YOU GOT IT BROTHER.
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ SISTER, HELP TO
TRIM THE SAILS ♪
I WILL.