Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 4, Episode 22 - Raincoats and Recipes - full transcript

OH, HI! GREAT!

I'M STILL ON MY FINALS SLEEP
SCHEDULE, AND, MAN, AM I WIRED.

WHAT TIME IS IT? LIKE
3:00 IN THE MORNING?

I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE.

WANT SOME MAC AND CHEESE?

I LOVE MAC AND CHEESE
WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP.

COOL. INDIVIDUAL CHEESE SLICES.

SO, I'VE BEEN MAKING
OUT MY RESUME

SO I CAN TRY TO GET A SUMMER JOB

BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY

THAT I AM GOING TO SWIPE
CAFETERIA CARDS AGAIN NEXT YEAR.

MY WHITES ARE DONE.

DO YOU KNOW THAT THE BEST
TIME TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY AT YALE

IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?

YOU'VE YOUR PICK OF WASHERS,
THE PLACE HAS JUST BEEN SWEPT

AND THE TRASH IS
COMPLETELY EMPTY.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THE STARS HOLLOW GAZETTE
NEEDS A FACTS CHECKER

BUT ROB'S TIRES IS
OFFERING WAY MORE MONEY.

NOW, I KNOW THAT NOW IS THE
TIME TO SUFFER FOR MY ART,

BUT I WAS SO BROKE
BY THE END OF THE YEAR

THAT I HAD TO DIP INTO
PARIS' GREEN-TEA STASH

WHICH BACKFIRED ON SO MANY
LEVELS, I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU.

HEY!

GREAT TO HAVE YOU HOME, HON.

♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

OK, I THINK I'VE GOT ALL THE
ROOMS ASSIGNED FOR THE TEST RUN.

HIT ME. MISS PATTY IS IN ROOM 1

BABBETTE IS IN 2.
I PUT TAYLOR IN 3,

THE CORNER ROOM.

THE SIEGELS WILL GO IN
5, YOU AND RORY ARE IN 6...

WAIT... WAIT, WHAT
HAPPENED TO 4?

4 IS TAKEN.

BY WHOM? BY FRIENDS OF MINE.

SOOKIE AND JACKSON ARE
IN... WHICH FRIENDS OF YOURS?

YOU SAID I COULD INVITE
FRIENDS, DID YOU NOT?

I DID. OK, SO I DID THAT.

I INVITED 2 OF MY FRIENDS,
AND I PUT THEM IN ROOM 4

AND NOW ROOM 4 IS
TAKEN WITH MY FRIENDS

AS YOU SUGGESTED, OK?

PAW-PAW AND CHIN CHIN
CANNOT COME TO THE TEST RUN.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE THEY ARE DOGS, MICHEL.

THEY CANNOT STAY
HOME BY THEMSELVES.

THEY GET LONELY AND THEN
THEY EAT EXPENSIVE ITALIAN THINGS.

THEN GET YOURSELF A CHOW-SITTER

BECAUSE ROOM 4 IS
FOR HUMAN BEINGS ONLY.

TERRIFIC, THEY'RE
ON THEIR WAY UP.

OH, HEY, TOM, I'M PUTTING POST-ITS
WHERE WE NEED PAINT TOUCH-UPS.

GOT IT.

AND WE GOT THAT
TEST RUN SATURDAY.

I WAS HOPING TO HAVE
SOME DOORS BY THEN.

I TOLD YOU, THE
DOORS ARE COMIN'.

YOU TOLD ME THAT 2 WEEKS AGO.

AND I'M SURE I MEANT IT. TOM!

I'M GOIN' RIGHT NOW.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU GET TO BRING RORY

AND I DON'T GET TO
BRING MY CHOWS.

BECAUSE I'M MAD WITH POWER.

THEY ARE CLEANER THAN SHE IS.

THEY ARE QUIETER THAN SHE IS.

STOP COMPARING
YOUR DOGS TO MY KID.

AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE RORY,

THAT IS HOW MUCH I LOVE
PAW-PAW AND CHIN CHIN.

I GAVE BIRTH TO HER! I
CARRIED HER INSIDE ME

AND 9 MONTHS AND 26
HOURS LATER, SHE CAME OUT!

IF I COULD HAVE GIVEN BIRTH
TO THEM MYSELF, I WOULD HAVE.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THAT CHOICE!

I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH
WOOD THERE, UH, KIRK.

WELL, I'VE PUT WOOD IN ALL THE
GUEST ROOMS AND THE LIVING ROOM.

I JUST HAVE TO STORE THE
REST OF THE CORD YOU BOUGHT.

MICHEL'LL TAKE YOU OUTSIDE
AND SHOW YOU WHERE IT GOES.

OUTSIDE? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO
EXPOSE YOUR WOOD TO THE ELEMENTS?

WE'LL GET A TARP. MICHEL?

ANY DOGS, KIRK?

DOGS URINATE ON
WOOD. I HATE DOGS.

GOING WITH KIRK ON
HIS ROUNDS AGAIN, LULU?

I JUST LOVE IT WHEN HE LOOKS
LIKE THE BRAWNY PAPER TOWEL GUY.

IT IS A GOOD OUTFIT.

THE PLACE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY
WONDERFUL, LORELAI.

WHEN DOES IT OPEN? 2 WEEKS.

BUT WE'RE HAVING A
TEST RUN ON SATURDAY.

JUST A BUNCH OF FRIENDS WHO'LL
HOPEFULLY STILL BE FRIENDS ON MONDAY.

SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

HEY, YOU AND KIRK
SHOULD COME. REALLY?

SURE. I'LL GIVE YOU PAW-PAW
AND CHIN CHIN'S ROOM.

WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU.

WOW! WE WOULD LOVE TO COME.
AND I KNOW KIRK WOULD FEEL BETTER

BEING ABLE TO CHECK
UP ON THE WOOD.

KIRK'S LUCKY TO
HAVE FOUND YOU, LULU.

OOH! PRETTY GARNISH!

THAT'S SOME GOOD MINCING
THERE. JUST ENOUGH WALNUT.

IS THAT FISH DONE?
IT SHOULD BE DONE.

OH! PERFECT.

WHOO, MAN, IT
SMELLS GREAT IN HERE.

THIS IS THE BEST KITCHEN
STAFF I'VE EVER HAD, EVER!

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE GOT
THEM, BUT THEY'RE AMAZING!

I'VE GOT TO SHOW
YOU THIS MINCING.

SERIOUSLY. NO, NO,
NO, I BELIEVE YOU.

OH, THEY SEEM TERRIFIC.

BUT, UM, SOOKIE, SO THERE
ARE 7 WORKERS IN HERE

AND WE'RE ONLY
BUDGETED FOR 5. I KNOW.

THAT'S A PROBLEM. YES.

SEE, I HIRED 7, FIGURING THAT
AT LEAST 2 WOULD CRAP OUT

AND THEN WE'D HAVE 5.

AND? AND NONE DID.

SO WHAT DO WE DO? I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, MAYBE THE TEST RUN
WILL BREAK A COUPLE OF THEM,

BUT IF NO ONE QUITS, HONEY,
YOU GOT TO FIRE 2 OF THEM.

THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF
CHROMOSOMES MISSING FROM THAT MAN.

PUT KIRK AND LULU IN ROOM 4.

YOU CUT ME?

OK, SO IS THAT IT FOR THE
ROOMS? BASICALLY, YES.

YOU AND RORY IN 6, LUKE IN 7.

LUKE? YES, LUKE.

OH, SO IS HE... HE
COMING? LUKE IS COMING?

IS HE NOT SUPPOSED TO?

NO, NO, OF COURSE HE WAS.

I MEAN, HE WAS INVITED, YOU KNOW, QUITE
A WHILE AGO, BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENED.

I MEAN, UH, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW
HE WAS COMING, THAT'S ALL.

OK, SO, GOOD. LUKE'S IN ROOM 7.

LUCKY NUMBER 7. NOT
THAT IT'S LUCKY FOR LUKE.

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S LUCKY FOR LUKE, OK?

LOOK AT HOW HE
CHOPPED THESE ONIONS.

I WANT TO SHOVE A STRING THROUGH
THEM AND WEAR THEM AROUND MY NECK!

WELL, THAT WOULDN'T
BE AT ALL ECCENTRIC.

OH, HONEY, COME HERE.

WHAT?

WHAT IS THAT FOR?

WELL, IN ALL THE CRAZINESS

I COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT TODAY
IS YOUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

OH, MY GOD!

WHERE'D HE GO? I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO I DO? I DON'T KNOW!

DID I LOSE?

WELL, YOU HAVE NO
HEAD, SO PROBABLY.

SO THIS IS WHAT TEENAGE BOYS ARE
DOING INSTEAD OF WATCHING TELEVISION?

APPARENTLY.

SEEMS LIKE A LATERAL MOVE.

HEY, YOU HUNGRY? I'M STARVING.

WELL, YOUR TIMING IS PERFECT,
BECAUSE I WENT TO THE STORE YESTERDAY.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

YOU JUST GOT AWAY FROM
THE FLOORBOARD LIFE.

BOYS WILL EAT EVERYTHING.

I BOUGHT VANILLA-ALMOND
BODY LOTION THE OTHER DAY.

NO. ON CHIPS. MINE, BY THE WAY.

SO JESS CAME BY TO SEE ME.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE 20 MINUTES,
AND YOU DROP THIS NOW?

HE JUST SHOWED UP AT MY
DORM ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

WHY? WHAT DID HE SAY?

WELL... WAIT.

GO. I GOT HOME FROM
THIS AWFUL SETUP.

THE GUY YOUR GRANDMOTHER
BROUGHT? THAT'S THE ONE.

HE WAS THAT BAD? JAMES
SPADER IN PRETTY IN PINK.

YOU COULD'VE STOPPED
AT JAMES SPADER.

ANYHOW, I LEFT THE PUB, GOT BACK
TO MY DORM, AND JESS WAS THERE.

WHAT DID HE WANT?

HE WANTED ME TO
COME AWAY WITH HIM.

OH, MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID... I DON'T KNOW.
IT WAS SO WEIRD.

HE WAS JUST JESS.

I MEAN, HE SHOWS UP OUT OF
NOWHERE WITH THIS CRAZY PROPOSAL.

IT WAS AWFUL. IT
DOESN'T SOUND AWFUL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? HE BAILED ON ME TWICE.

I KNOW, BUT HOW
INCREDIBLY ROMANTIC

TO HAVE THIS GUY SHOW
UP OUT OF THE BLUE

AND WANT TO TAKE
YOU AWAY WITH HIM?

WHEN I FIRST MET
JESS, I THOUGHT,

"WHAT COULD BE
BETTER THAN THIS?"

HE'S SMART, GOOD TASTE IN
BOOKS, AND MUSIC, SO CUTE.

BUT JESS IS GREAT ONE
MINUTE, AND THEN THE NEXT...

YOU KNOW, AS FAR AS I KNOW, I
COULD HAVE SAID YES, PACKED MY BAG,

AND WHEN I GOT TO THE CAR,
HE'D HAVE CHANGED HIS MIND.

IT'S PART OF WHY HE'S
CUTE. HE'S UNPREDICTABLE.

I GUESS.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS WITH DEAN,

I ALWAYS KNEW THAT NO
MATTER WHAT HAPPENED

HE WOULD BE THERE.

DEAN WAS VERY DEPENDABLE.

IT WAS MORE THAN THAT.

HE'S... WELL, HE WAS SO...

UM, I WAS SAFE, AND
HE WAS SO NICE TO ME.

HE REALLY LOVED YOU.

YEAH, I THINK I REALLY
BLEW IT THERE, YOU KNOW?

I DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT.

EVERY GIRL HAS TO
FALL FOR A BAD BOY.

IT'S THE RULE. IT'S THE REASON

SO MANY ACCOUNTANTS
EVENTUALLY GET MARRIED.

♪ HEY, SHE'S A PIRATEY SOUL ♪

♪ FULL OF VINEGAR AND GLITTER ♪

♪ SHE IS A SONG OF HER OWN ♪

♪ FROM DOWN THE
WRONG END OF THE RIVER ♪

♪ WILD LIKE THE LILY-A-PASSION ♪

♪ HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE HONORS ♪

HI!

♪ OH, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO WAY ♪

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
DIDN'T WAKE ME UP.

ME AND WHAT ARMY?

I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME OFF.

I DON'T WANT TO WASTE
IT ALL SLEEPING TILL NOON.

THERE WAS NO WAKING YOU.
YOU WERE COMPLETELY OUT.

WE'RE TALKING
FARRAH ON LETTERMAN.

HEY. WHAT?

LUKE IS COMING OVER HERE.
PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION.

TO WHAT? COFFEE?

OH, SURE, COFFEE WOULD BE GREAT.

COFFEE, HON? YEAH,
SHE'LL HAVE COFFEE. THANKS.

OK, YOU WANT A MINUTE?

YES, A MINUTE
WOULD BE GREAT. OK.

WELL? WHAT?

YOU NOTICE ANYTHING? ANYTHING?

ANYTHING WEIRD,
ANYTHING DIFFERENT?

ABOUT LUKE? YEAH,
OF COURSE ABOUT LUKE.

DID YOU NOTICE ANYTHING
DIFFERENT? LIKE WHAT?

LIKE A VIBE, AN ATTITUDE.

DID HE LOOK AT ME DIFFERENTLY?

DIFFERENTLY THAN WHAT?
DIFFERENTLY THAN HE DID.

DIFFERENTLY THAN
HE DID WHEN? BEFORE.

BEFORE WHAT? BEFORE, BEFORE.

BEFORE, BEFORE, WHAT? RORY!

H-HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU BE
FRUSTRATED WITH ME, RIGHT NOW?

FINE. COME HERE.

"WHAT'S YOUR DAMAGE, HEATHER?"

I THINK I'M DATING LUKE.

WHAT? I'M NOT SURE.

IT'S JUST A POSSIBILITY.
I COULD BE WRONG.

BUT HOW? WHEN?

WELL, I WENT WITH HIM TO HIS SISTER'S
WEDDING, AND IT WAS REALLY NICE.

WE HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME.

WE LAUGHED A LOT, AND WE
ATE, AND THEN WE DANCED.

DANCED? HOW? WE POPLOCKED.

WAS IT A FAST DANCE,
SLOW DANCE, GROUP DANCE?

IT WAS A SLOW DANCE.
WHAT IS "GROUP DANCE"?

THE HUSTLE, THE HORA.
NO HUSTLE, NO HORA.

IT WAS A SLOW DANCE. A WALTZ.

LUKE CAN WALTZ. LUKE CAN WALTZ?

LUKE CAN WALTZ.

LOOK HOW YOU JUST
SAID, "LUKE CAN WALTZ."

I'M JUST SAYING, I'M SURPRISED
THAT LUKE CAN WALTZ.

THAT SOUNDED MORE LIKE

"I'M SURPRISED I STILL
HAVE MY CLOTHES ON."

OH, STOP. WELL,
WHAT ELSE HAPPENED?

NOTHING. WE SPENT
THE EVENING TOGETHER.

WE DANCED, HE WALKED ME HOME,
THEN HE ASKED ME TO A MOVIE.

ALL OF THESE THINGS INDIVIDUALLY
DO NOT ADD UP TO DATING,

BUT TOGETHER, I DON'T KNOW.

AND THERE WAS THIS MOMENT
WHEN HE WALKED ME HOME,

WHERE I THOUGHT... I DON'T KNOW.

DID YOU SAY YES?

WHEN?

TO THE MOVIE. DID
YOU SAY YES? YES.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE DATING TO ME.

MAYBE HE DIDN'T MEAN
IT AS A DATE THING.

MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS
TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE,

AND SINCE I'M NOW ONE OF THE
WOMEN SITTING HOME THINKING,

"IF I COULD ONLY FIND A MAN
LIKE ARAGORN," HE PICKED ME.

OK, WHOA! THIS IS LUKE.

I KNOW.

OUR LUKE. THE TOWN LUKE.

WE SEE HIM EVERY DAY.

HE'S A PART OF
OUR LIVES. I KNOW.

I MEAN, EVERYONE WILL
KNOW IF YOU'RE TOGETHER.

THEY'LL KNOW IF
YOU'RE NOT TOGETHER.

I KNOW. YOU CAN'T
JUST DATE LUKE.

WHEN YOU'RE WITH
LUKE, YOU'RE WITH LUKE.

AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, IT
WILL BE REALLY BAD FOR BOTH OF US.

I MEAN, HOW DO YOU
FEEL ABOUT THIS?

DO YOU WANT TO BE DATING LUKE?

OK, WE'RE GETTING
AHEAD OF OURSELVES.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF
THIS IS WHAT HE'S THINKING.

THIS COULD BE A TOTALLY
INNOCENT SITUATION

AND THEN WE'VE DONE ALL
THIS WHAT-IFING FOR NOTHING.

LET'S JUST GO BACK IN THERE
AND SEE IF ANYTHING'S WEIRD, OK?

OK. OK.

IS EVERYTHING OK?

YES.

I'LL GET THE BROOM.

THAT WAS A LITTLE WEIRD.

2 RADISH ROSES
FOR A CARROT CURL?

DEAL.

YOU'RE TRADING GARNISH?

YES, BUT ONLY BECAUSE
THE DINNER'S GROSS.

VERY NICE. I DON'T LIKE RABBIT.

HOW CONVENIENT,
YOU'RE NOT EATING RABBIT.

BUT THIS IS RABBIT SAUCE.

IT IS RABBIT SAUCE.

IT IS NOT RABBIT SAUCE.

DO NOT TELL HER
THAT IT'S RABBIT SAUCE.

WELL, IT TASTES LIKE
RABBIT SAUCE TO ME.

THAT JUST SHOWS HOW
MUCH ATTENTION YOU GIVE

TO MEALS THAT ARE
PREPARED FOR YOU.

IF IT ISN'T RABBIT, THEN
WHAT IS IT? IT'S DUCK.

OH, WELL, WHERE'S
THAT CARROT CURL?

I HAVEN'T SEEN A RADISH ROSE.

NEVER MIND. DON'T EAT IT.

SRIVA, COME GET THE
PLATES. WE'RE DONE.

NOT EVERYONE IS DONE.

JUST BRING OUT THE
DESSERT, PLEASE.

SO, RORY, I WAS THINKING MAYBE
WE SHOULD GO AWAY THIS SUMMER

JUST YOU AND ME.

YOU SHOULD DO EUROPE
RIGHT AT LEAST ONCE,

AND THIS SEEMS LIKE
THE PERFECT TIME.

OH, WELL, GRANDMA,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M
DOING THIS SUMMER YET,

BUT THAT SOUNDS REALLY NICE.

AND REALLY OUT OF THE BLUE.

I AGREE.

WERE YOU GONNA MENTION
THIS TO ME? I JUST DID.

NO, I MEAN BEFORE YOU
OPENED THE PEANUTS.

THE PLANS AREN'T MADE,
LORELAI. IT WAS JUST AN IDEA.

IF RORY DOESN'T WANT TO GO,
THEN RORY DOESN'T HAVE TO GO.

RORY DIDN'T SAY SHE
DIDN'T WANT TO GO.

THAT'S RIGHT, RORY'S
MOTHER WAS JUST MARVELING

AT THE "HEY, LOOK OVER HERE"
APPROACH TO THE INVITATION.

YOU OK, DAD?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

WHEN IS DESSERT?
I HAVE WORK TO DO.

IT'S COMING AS
QUICKLY AS THE WOMAN

CAN SPOON FRUIT OVER ICE CREAM.

WELL, CLEARLY, SHE HAS CARPAL
TUNNEL OR SOME OTHER MODERN DISEASE

WHICH IS SLOWING HER DOWN.

IF SHE'S GOING TOO SLOW FOR YOU

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO INTO
THE KITCHEN AND GIVE HER A HAND?

I FORGOT TO MENTION, WE'RE DOING
A TEST RUN AT THE INN THIS WEEKEND.

WHAT? YEAH.

WE'RE INVITING FRIENDS
TO SPEND THE WEEKEND

JUST TO MAKE SURE
WE'RE READY TO OPEN.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS SENSIBLE.

HEY! YOU KNOW WHAT
WOULD BE GREAT?

IF THE 2 OF YOU CAME. WHAT?

FOR THE WEEKEND.

OH! WELL.

I MEAN, I'VE BEEN WORKING
TOWARD THIS GOAL FOR, MY GOD,

WHAT IS IT, RORY, NOW,
20 YEARS? 20 YEARS.

20 YEARS, WOW. SO, BASICALLY,
THIS IS THE BIGGEST THING

THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY
LIFE, EXCEPT FOR RORY BEING BORN.

AND I'M SURE MY PARENTS
WOULDN'T WANT TO MISS IT.

I MEAN, UNLESS THERE'S
SOME SPECIFIC REASON

WHY YOU GUYS CAN'T COME,
BOTH OF YOU, TOGETHER.

NO? OK, GOOD. SO
YOU'LL BE THERE.

FANTASTIC. ISN'T
THAT GREAT, RORY?

GRANDMA AND GRANDPA ARE
COMING TO THE TEST RUN TOGETHER.

LORELAI...

DAD, SERIOUSLY, YOU HAVE NO
IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.

WE WOULDN'T MISS
IT FOR THE WORLD.

HMM.

SO INVITING THEM TO STAY IN
THE INN IS GOING TO DO WHAT?

I'M NOT INVITING THEM
TO STAY IN THE INN.

I'M INVITING THEM TO THE BUNGALOW,
150 FEET AWAY FROM THE INN.

DIABOLICAL. I'M GOING TO
LOCK THOSE 2 IN A ROOM

AND THEY ARE COMING OUT
RECONCILED OR IN A BODY BAG.

AND, BELIEVE ME,
I'M FINE EITHER WAY.

WELL, LOOK WHO DIED AND
MADE YOU HAYLEY MILLS.

HEY, KIRK, JUST SIT...

WE NEED TO TALK.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HEY!

GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT.

THIS PLACE IS SMALL.

I ALWAYS PICTURED
YOU IN A BIGGER PLACE.

DON'T PICTURE ME IN
ANY PLACE, OK, KIRK?

YOU HAVE NICE WINDOWS, THOUGH.

I DON'T HAVE WINDOWS.

MY ROOM AT MY MOM'S HOUSE
USED TO BE A BOMB SHELTER.

IT'S VERY COLD BUT
GREAT FOR RACQUETBALL.

KIRK, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

YOU'RE THE ONLY
ONE I CAN CONFIDE IN.

OH, GOODY.

LORELAI INVITED LULU AND
ME TO THE TEST RUN OF THE INN.

UH-HUH.

LULU IS VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE
INVITATION. IT'S ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT.

A ROMANTIC WEEKEND
AT THE INN WITH ME.

ANYHOW, I'M A LITTLE
CONCERNED ABOUT THIS INVITATION

BECAUSE LULU AND I HAVE
NEVER SPENT THE NIGHT TOGETHER.

OH, WELL, THIS IS NOT A
COMFORTABLE AREA FOR ME.

I MEAN, WE'VE HAD SEX,
LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX.

AND THIS IS EVEN
MORE UNCOMFORTABLE.

WE JUST HAVEN'T ACTUALLY
SPENT THE NIGHT TOGETHER.

WHY NOT?

I HAVE NIGHT TERRORS.

NIGHT TERRORS?

BASICALLY, I FREAK
OUT AT BEDDY-BYE.

ABOUT AN HOUR AFTER I FALL
ASLEEP, I WAKE UP IN PANIC.

EVERYTHING AROUND ME SEEMS
THREATENING, SCARY, OUT TO GET ME.

2 NIGHTS AGO, I WAS SUDDENLY
GRIPPED WITH THE OVERWHELMING FEELING

THAT THERE WAS AN
ASSASSIN IN MY HOUSE. JEEZ.

I HAD TO GET OUT OF THE
ROOM BEFORE HE GOT ME.

SO I JUMPED OUT OF BED

AND LOCKED MY PILLOW
IN THE BATHROOM. WHY?

BECAUSE IT WAS A
BOMB. OF COURSE.

AFTER NEUTRALIZING MY
PILLOW, I RAN UP THE STAIRS,

CLIMBED OUT THE BATHROOM WINDOW,

SCALED THE TRELLIS UP
THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE

AND HID ON THE ROOF,
COMPLETELY NAKED.

AH, JEEZ.

THE WORST PART
OF NIGHT TERRORS IS

IT ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH ME ON
TOP OF THE ROOF COMPLETELY NAKED,

OR RUNNING DOWN THE
STREET COMPLETELY NAKED,

OR SWIMMING IN THE COMMUNITY-CENTER
POOL COMPLETELY NAKED.

THAT WAS THE TIME I
THOUGHT I WAS ON FIRE.

KIRK, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

WELL, I'M USED TO IT NOW,

SO IT'S KIND OF SECOND
NATURE TO ME, BUT LULU...

RIGHT, LULU.

HOW IS SHE GOING TO TAKE IT?

I MEAN, I COULD SCARE
HER OR NINJA-KICK HER

AND LOCK HER UP WITH A PILLOW.

I THINK I LOVE HER, LUKE.

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN
TOLD HER THAT I LOVE HER.

I SPELLED IT OUT IN
CHOCOLATE-COVERED OREOS ONCE,

BUT SHE WAS REALLY HUNGRY, AND
I'M NOT SURE IF SHE READ IT FIRST.

I CAN'T ASSAULT HER
BEFORE I TELL HER I LOVE HER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO ABOUT IT?

I CALLED THE DRAGONFLY

AND HAD THEM PUT ME AND LULU
IN THE ROOM RIGHT NEXT TO YOURS.

THAT WAY, IF YOU HEAR
ANYTHING, SCREAMING OR RUSSIAN,

YOU CAN COME IN AND
PULL ME OFF OF LULU. OH.

UNLESS, WHEN YOU COME IN IT LOOKS
LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T PULL ME OFF OF LULU.

KIRK. YOU CAN USE YOUR
JUDGMENT ON THAT ONE.

KIRK, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS. PLEASE!

THIS WEEKEND MEANS
SO MUCH TO HER.

I CAN'T TELL HER
WE'RE NOT GOING.

FINE.

THANK YOU, LUKE. THANK YOU. OK.

REMEMBER, ANYTHING
WEIRD, JUST JUMP ON IN.

I GOT IT, KIRK.

JUST DON'T TOUCH MY BOTTOM,
OR I'LL THINK YOU HAVE A MACHETE.

IF YOU WANT THIS TO HAPPEN

DO NOT USE THE WORD
"BOTTOM" WITH ME AGAIN, KIRK.

RIGHT. SEE YOU LATER.

HEY, LUKE?

WHAT, KIRK?

WHAT KIND OF CLOTHES
ARE YOU BRINGING?

SURE.

MY KITCHEN STAFF'S
GREAT. ALL 7 OF 'EM!

HANG IN THERE, SOOKIE.

IF ONLY ONE WOULD SUCK, MAYBE
IT WOULD RUB OFF ON THE REST.

PLENTY OF SUCKING POTENTIAL'S
STILL OUT THERE. HAVE SOME FAITH.

TOM, WHERE ARE MY DOORS? THEY
WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BY NOW.

YEAH, I KNOW. THEY
TOOK A WRONG TURN

AND HEADED TO WOODBRIDGE.

WHAT?

RELAX, I'M TRYING
TO TRACK 'EM DOWN.

UM, TOM, GUESTS ARE
SHOWING UP HERE ANY SECOND.

THEY HAVE NO DOORS.

PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO GET
VERY FRIENDLY, VERY QUICKLY.

I GOT THE GUY ON THE PHONE.
I'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO YOU.

TOM? TOM?

HEY, I'VE CHANGED MY MIND.

I WANT TO BE A
BALLERINA. GOOD TIMING.

OK, SO, WE DON'T HAVE DOORS,

AND EVERY SINGLE
PERSON I HIRED IS FANTASTIC.

WE'RE DOOMED.

THE GUESTS ARE
ARRIVING. I REPEAT,

THE GUESTS ARE ARRIVING.

NO, MICHEL, WE STILL
DON'T HAVE DOORS.

CAN YOU DO ANYTHING
TO STALL THEM?

NO. I'M BRINGING THEM UP NOW.

BOY, IF HE WAS ON MY KITCHEN
STAFF, WE'D BE HOME FREE BY NOW.

I GOT 'EM.

THE DOORS, YOU GOT THE DOORS?

THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY. MY GUYS
WILL BE STANDING BY TO GET THEM ON.

TOM I'M LOVING YOU
LIKE A $2 WHORE.

TERRIFIC. I'LL TELL THE WIFE.

OK, EVERYBODY, THE DOORS ARE
ON THE WAY, UH, GUESTS ARE COMING.

EVERYBODY OUTSIDE TO GREET THEM.

IT'S SHOWTIME. LET'S GO!

OK, EVERYONE, REMEMBER, THESE
PEOPLE ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS.

THEY ARE CUSTOMERS.

JUST RELAX, DON'T RUSH,
AND DON'T KILL ANYBODY.

HERE THEY COME!

OH, LOOK AT THE FLOWERS!

HI, EVERYONE. WELCOME
TO THE DRAGONFLY INN.

OH, WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

IT'S A PARADISE.

OH, LORELAI, THE BABIES THAT
ARE GOING TO BE CONCEIVED

ON THIS PROPERTY!

OH, ARE THOSE HORSES?
BABBETTE, LOOK AT THE HORSES.

THAT'S CLETUS AND DESDEMONA, AND...
AND IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO GO FOR A RIDE,

MICHEL CAN SET IT UP FOR YOU.

THE RIDE UP HERE WAS
VERY DUSTY, LORELAI.

YOU SHOULD WARN PEOPLE NOT TO
WEAR THEIR WHITE PANTS UPON ARRIVAL.

I WILL DO THAT, TAYLOR.

SO DO I BRING MY OWN BAGS OR...

NO, YOU DON'T.
ERIC, JEREMY, SAM,

THESE BAGS, PLEASE. THANKS.

THE BLUE ONE HAS BREAKABLES.

OK, THEY'RE UNLOADING
THEM IN THE BACK.

I ALREADY SENT DEAN IN
TO START PUTTING THEM UP.

GREAT. THANK YOU,
TOM. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

MAKE SURE THE
KEYS ARE READY. OK.

WELL, HEY THERE, YOU
2. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR THE INVITATION.

YOU'RE WELCOME,
HAVE A GOOD TIME.

OH, HORSES.

IS LUKE HERE YET?

NO, HE'S NOT, KIRK.

BUT HE'S COMING, RIGHT? AND
HE'LL BE HERE BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP?

I HAVE NO IDEA, KIRK. WHY?

IT'S A GUY THING.

HI.

HEY.

I HAVE TO GET THIS UPSTAIRS.

CAN'T WE TALK?

WHAT ABOUT?

HE DIDN'T STAY.

YEAH, I DON'T CARE.

I TOLD HIM TO GO.
HE WENT. HE'S GONE.

WELL, GREAT.

WHY ARE YOU SO MAD?

I'M NOT MAD. I'M WORKING.

I LEFT YOU 3 MESSAGES.

YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ANY OF THEM.

YOU BLEW ME OFF AT LUKE'S TODAY.

YOU WON'T LOOK ME IN THE EYE.

I HAVE TO GO.

I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE.

YOU TOLD ME TO LEAVE, ALSO.

I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE SO I
COULD TELL HIM TO LEAVE.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

IT DOES MAKE SENSE, DEAN.

I... I DIDN'T ASK HIM TO COME.

I DID ASK YOU TO COME, REMEMBER?

I KNOW. I... I JUST...

WHAT? WHY ARE YOU SO MAD?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE BACK
WITH HIM OR SOMETHING.

NO, I'M NOT BACK WITH HIM.

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE.

WELL, I'M NOT.

BUT EVEN IF I WAS BACK WITH HIM,

WHY WOULD IT BOTHER YOU SO MUCH?

I DON'T LIKE HIM.

OK.

AND I... I DON'T
WANT YOU WITH HIM.

RIGHT.

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T
TREAT ME RIGHT, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT
ME TO BE WITH SOMEONE

WHO DOESN'T TREAT ME RIGHT,
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FRIEND, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

I'M YOUR FRIEND.

DEAN! HOW WE DOING
WITH THOSE DOORS?

WE'RE... WE'RE DOING FINE, TOM.

THERE YOU GO, FREDDY.
YOU'RE IN ROOM 9.

JUST FOLLOW YOUR DOOR.

OH, HONEY, THIS
PLACE IS SPECTACULAR.

THANKS, PATTY. YOU'RE IN
ROOM 1. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

I JUST KNOW EVERYTHING'S
GOING TO BE PERFECT.

THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU
COULD DO THAT I WOULDN'T LOVE.

NO, NO, NO. THAT IS NOT THE
POINT HERE. THIS IS A TEST RUN.

WE NEED TO WORK OUT
ALL THE KINKS THIS WEEKEND,

SO THEY DON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

SO WE'RE DEPENDING ON YOUR
FEEDBACK AND ESPECIALLY YOUR CRITICISM.

ALL RIGHT, I
PROMISE TO BE A PAIN.

I APPRECIATE THAT.

JUST FOLLOW YOUR
DOOR TO YOUR ROOM.

OH.

AFTER YOU, SWEETHEART.

WELL, YOU CAN COUNT ON
ME FOR MY FEEDBACK, LORELAI.

I PROMISE YOU THAT. IN FACT, I'VE
ALREADY GOT 14 COMPLAINTS WRITTEN DOWN.

OH! MOST OF THEM
ARE SMALL INFRACTIONS,

BUT IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS,

THE DETAILS THAT DISTINGUISH THE BARBRA
STREISANDS FROM THE ROSALYN KINDS.

ABSOLUTELY, TAYLOR.

I EVEN TOOK IT UPON MYSELF TO
BRING MY OWN COMMENT CARDS

JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T
THINK TO SUPPLY THEM.

WE DID SUPPLY COMMENT CARDS,
BUT I'M SURE YOURS ARE EVEN BETTER.

THAT WAS A VERY POLITE
RESPONSE. I'M WRITING THAT DOWN.

EXCUSE ME, I NEED SOME
STUFF TAKEN OUT OF MY ROOM.

WHAT STUFF?

THE LAMP, THE BRONZE BOOKENDS,

THE BOOKS, THE
SHOEHORNS, THE SEWING KIT.

ARE THE PAINTINGS
BOLTED TO THE WALLS?

YES.

WELL, BRING SOME PLIERS IN
CASE SIMPLE YANKING DOESN'T DO IT.

I AM NOT YANKING THE
PICTURES OFF THE WALL.

WELL, APPARENTLY,
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE.

THERE YOU GO, ROOM 8.
JUST FOLLOW YOUR DOOR.

HEY, YOU KNOW, THIS DOOR
THING IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUN.

MICHEL SAID TO FILL IN FOR HIM.

KIRK HAS HIM TAKING THE LIGHT
BULBS OUT OF THE SCONCES.

WHAT? OH, MOM, DAD!

LOOK, RORY, THERE ARE
YOUR GRANDPARENTS

AND EVERYTHING THEY OWN.

YOU DIDN'T TELL US WHAT ATTIRE WAS
REQUIRED, SO I HAD TO PACK EVERYTHING.

HI, GRANDMA, HI, GRANDPA.
WE'RE SO GLAD YOU COULD COME.

WE'RE DELIGHTED TO BE
HERE. MAY WE HAVE OUR KEY?

I'M TIRED FROM THE DRIVE.

IT TAKES 20 MINUTES TO GET HERE.

IT FELT LONGER.

WHICH WAY DO WE GO, UPSTAIRS?

NO, MOM. YOU AND
DAD AREN'T UPSTAIRS.

YOU'RE IN OUR NICEST ROOM.

GUYS, WILL YOU TAKE
MY PARENTS TO ROOM 12?

THE BOYS WILL TAKE YOU THERE.

WHERE ARE THEY GOING?

JUST FOLLOW THEM, MOM.

THEY'RE HEADING OUTSIDE.

YES. YOUR ROOM HAS ITS
OWN ENTRANCE, FOR PRIVACY.

OH, WELL, FINE. WE'LL
SEE YOU LATER, RORY.

BYE.

YOU ARE THE BAD SEED.

"I HAVE THE PRETTIEST
MOTHER. EVERYBODY THINKS SO."

HEY, HI. YOU CAME.

SURE. I R.S.V.P'D.

HERE, THESE ARE FOR YOU,
A LITTLE CONGRATULATIONS.

OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU. I WAS...

UM, WELL,

OK, SO WE SHOULD GET
YOU ALL, UH, CHECKED IN.

UH, AND THAT'S OVER THERE.

YOU OK?

OH, GOD, YEAH. ME?
I'M TOTALLY FINE. OH!

LORELAI!

OH, GOD. UM, I'M
FINE. NO PROBLEM.

UM, THAT WAS YOUR DOOR, SO
YOU COULD JUST FOLLOW THAT ON UP

AND WE'LL SEE YOU
AT DINNER. RORY?

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

IT'S LIKE THE THIRD TIME I
DID THAT TODAY. IT'S A BIT.

WE'RE, UH, YOU KNOW, WE'RE
GOING TO BE THE COMEDY INN.

YOU KNOW, WE FINALLY
FOUND OUR THEME.

SO YOU GOT YOUR KEY
AND, UH, B-B-BYE-BYE.

I'VE LOCKED YOU IN BEFORE,
AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN.

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

IT'S GOING VERY WELL.

VERY, VERY WELL.

OH, JACKSON, I LOVE THE SHIRT.

ISN'T IT GREAT?

IT'S AN ANNIVERSARY
GIFT FROM SOOKIE.

SWEET, HUH, THESE 2 KIDS.

I GOT TO TELL YOU, I WAS
COMPLETELY SURPRISED.

I FIGURED, WITH THE TEST RUN,
SHE'D BE WAY TOO BUSY TO REMEMBER.

OH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

SOOKIE COULD NEVER
FORGET HER MUSHROOM MAN.

I'D LOVE HER TO FORGET
THAT NICKNAME THOUGH.

FOOD'S GREAT,
MOM. YES, IT IS GREAT.

ALTHOUGH, I ADMIT, I KNOW
THE CHEF, SO I'M A LITTLE BIASED.

YOU'RE A LITTLE BIASED.
I'M SLEEPING WITH HER.

YOU ALSO GREW THE VEGETABLES.

OH, I DID. I CAN'T
BE TRUSTED AT ALL.

WOW, TOM, I HAVE NEVER
SEEN YOU IN A SUIT BEFORE.

REALLY? BECAUSE I'M MORE A
SUIT GUY THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

I'M GOING TO MAKE THE ROUNDS.

WE'LL BE HERE.

HI. HOW IS EVERYTHING
THIS EVENING?

OH, MY GOD, THESE ROBES!

WHAT ARE THEY MADE OF?

BECAUSE I AM NEVER
GETTING DRESSED AGAIN.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I'M JUST STARING AT MY PLATE.

HE'S SHY.

MY BATHROBE SLIPPED EARLIER, AND
HIS POOR LITTLE HEART COULDN'T TAKE IT.

HE'S BEEN STARING AT
HIS SALAD EVER SINCE.

I LIKE SALAD.

MMM, PATTY, YOU
WANT TO TRY MY FISH?

FISH HAS TOO MUCH MERCURY.

FOR THIS FISH, YOU'LL
EAT THE MERCURY.

OH, YEAH?

OK, WELL, YOU 2,
GO EASY ON HIM NOW.

WE'LL TRY.

I'M SORRY, DEREK.

YOU OK?

WELL, THERE'S A DEBATE
GOING ON ABOUT THAT.

WE'RE ALL SET UP.

STOP WHISPERING IN MY EAR, KIRK.

I'M JUST SAYING... YOU'RE
STILL DOING IT, KIRK.

UH, CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING, MR. DOOSE?

UH, ANOTHER PEN WOULD BE NICE.

DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH PAPER?

YEAH, JUST A PEN WILL BE FINE.

COMING RIGHT UP.

HEY, TAYLOR, HOW IS HE?

WHO?

THE KID, DEREK.

HE'S RUDE, SLOW, STUPID.

NO, ACTUALLY, HE'S BEEN AN
EXCELLENT WAITER ALL EVENING.

CRAP.

HEY, I HAVE NO NEED OF SALAD IN
MY LIFE EVER, BUT THIS IS AMAZING.

HE'S GREAT. THEY'RE ALL GREAT.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
DISENFRANCHISED YOUTH OF AMERICA?

WHERE DID ALL THESE
WORKER BEES COME FROM?

CHEER UP, SOOKIE. THE FOOD'S
GOING OVER LIKE GANGBUSTERS.

YEAH. MMM-HMM.

ALL RIGHT, I WENT TO CHECK ON THE
BACKUP GENERATORS. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

AND THE DINNER'S GOING GREAT.

EVERYONE'S SETTLED,
THE DOORS ARE UP.

EVERYONE SEEMS HAPPY.

THEY DO, DON'T THEY?

THIS IS GONNA WORK.

WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THE PLACE LOOKS GREAT.

THANK YOU. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE NEED TO TALK.

NOT NOW, WE DON'T.

I STAYED AWAY. I GAVE YOU SPACE.

YOU GAVE ME SPACE? WE BROKE UP.

OH, I DIDN'T LOOK
AT IT THAT WAY.

I LOOKED AT IT AS A
COOLING-OFF PERIOD.

HOW VERY REVISIONIST
OF YOU. JASON, I'M WORKING.

10 MINUTES. NO!

LORELAI, WE WERE DOING GREAT.

UNTIL YOU DECIDED TO SUE
MY FATHER, YEAH, WE ROCKED.

THANK YOU. GOODBYE.

I AM NOT LEAVING.

JASON, PLEASE, I HAVE AN
INN FULL OF PEOPLE HERE.

OK. UM,

ONE ROOM, PLEASE. WHAT?

I WOULD LIKE A ROOM.
HOW MUCH IS A ROOM?

NO, NO, JASON, YOU
CAN'T STAY HERE.

EVERY ROOM IS TAKEN.

PLEASE GO. I WILL
CALL YOU ON MONDAY.

I CAN'T WAIT TILL THEN.
GIVES YOU TOO MUCH TIME

TO TALK YOURSELF
OUT OF TRYING AGAIN.

FIRST I'D HAVE TO TALK MYSELF INTO
TRYING AGAIN. SO LET'S MAKE IT TUESDAY.

I'LL WAIT. I WON'T
BE DONE FOR 2 DAYS.

I'LL WAIT TILL YOU TAKE A
BREAK. NO BREAK FOR 2 DAYS.

THIS IS A TERRIBLE JOB.

I WOULD LIKE A WORD WITH
YOUR BOSS. WHO IS ABOVE YOU?

JASON, I CAN'T DO THIS.

LORELAI, I'VE BEEN SITTING IN
MY APARTMENT FOR 2 WEEKS

STARING AT A DEAD
PLANT THAT YOU GAVE ME.

NOW, I KNOW WE CAN WORK THIS
OUT, AND I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL WE DO.

OH, BOY.

JUST GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS

AND WHEN YOU'RE READY
TO TALK, I WILL BE HERE.

OH, LOOK, ABOVE CONNECTICUT.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT.

HEY, KIRK, I'M GETTING TIRED.

YOU ARE?

WOULD YOU MIND
IF WE WENT TO BED?

UH, NO, THAT'S
FINE. YOU'RE TIRED.

SO, THEN, LET'S GO
UPSTAIRS AND GO TO BED!

OK. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE.

I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

I THINK KIRK WANTS YOU TO GO
UPSTAIRS AND MAKE LOVE TO HIM.

WILL YOU JUST ROLL?

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING HERE?

SHE'S LETTING ME WIN.
IT'S VERY ANNOYING.

HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU?

WELL, WE LOCKED THE KITCHEN
CREW IN WITH MICHEL FOR 20 MINUTES

AND IT BACKFIRED A LITTLE.

6 OF THEM QUIT, AND WE HAVE TO
START HIRING AGAIN TOMORROW.

HEY, WHEN YOU'RE DONE HERE, WOULD
YOU RUN HOME AND GRAB SOME C.D.S?

I FORGOT TO HAVE THEM
IN CASE ONE OF THE GUESTS

WANTS TO PLAY SOMETHING.

SURE, NO PROBLEM.

HEY, YOU DO NOTICE THAT JASON'S
SITTING IN THE OTHER ROOM, RIGHT?

YEAH, I'M HANDLING IT.

OK.

HERE.

WHAT'S THIS?

YOU'VE BEEN SITTING
THERE ALL NIGHT.

YOU MUST BE HUNGRY.
EAT SOMETHING.

THANKS. MMM.

HERE, SIT AND HAVE
DINNER WITH ME. JASON.

I'LL FEED YOU.
IT'LL BE ADORABLE.

HOW MUCH LONGER
ARE YOU GOING TO STAY?

JUST LONG ENOUGH TO FIX EVERYTHING
THAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN US.

LUCKILY, I'M UNEMPLOYED.
I HAVE PLENTY OF TIME.

YOU'RE VERY STUBBORN.

I JUST REFUSE TO LOSE THE
THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.

FULL HOUSE! OH, MY
GOD, I'M KICKING YOUR ASS!

HEY, BABBETTE, WHO'S THAT?

WHO'S WHAT?

OH, THAT'S JASON STILES.

HE WAS LORELAI'S BOYFRIEND
FOR THE LAST 6 MONTHS.

OH, YEAH? YEAH.

NOT EXACTLY WHO I
PICTURED HER WITH,

BUT HE DOES HAVE
A VERY NICE CAR.

ANYHOW, THEY WERE HIDING THEIR
RELATIONSHIP FROM HER PARENTS

'CAUSE JASON WAS HER
FATHER'S BUSINESS PARTNER.

WELL, OF COURSE, THE PARENTS,
THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT IT,

AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

JASON WOUND UP
SUING LORELAI'S FATHER.

THEY STILL TOGETHER?

I DON'T KNOW. I
THOUGHT THEY BROKE UP

BUT HE'S HERE, SO MAYBE...

I COULD ASK PATTY
FOR YOU, IF YOU WANT.

SOMETIMES SHE
GETS THE NEWS FIRST

'CAUSE HER PHONE LINE PICKS UP
OTHER PEOPLE'S CONVERSATIONS.

SOMETHING ABOUT PROXIMITY
TO THE POWER LINES.

I TELL YOU, LOCATION,
LOCATION, LOCATION.

I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

GO. WORK. I'M FINE.
I'M COMFORTABLE.

I HAVE FOOD, SOOKIE
BROUGHT ME WINE

AND I'VE MOVED ON TO
GNOMES OF THE WEST.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE BRING
YOU OUT SOME DESSERT.

LORELAI GILMORE, WHY
WOULD YOU DO THAT?

DO WHAT?

YOU STUCK YOUR FATHER AND ME
OUT IN THAT GODFORSAKEN CABIN!

IT'S THE HONEYMOON SUITE.

ONE ROOM, NO ACCESS TO THE
MAIN BUILDING, PITCH-BLACK AT NIGHT.

IT'S ROMANTIC.

NO TELEVISION, NO RADIO.

THERE IS A TELEVISION.
IT'S IN THE CABINET...

AND THEN THE ROOM SERVICE.

ROAST BEEF AND CHAMPAGNE.

THE ONE CHANCE
TO GET OUT OF THERE

AWAY FROM EACH OTHER,
AND YOU YANK IT AWAY!

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GET
AWAY FROM EACH OTHER, MOM?

ARE YOU AND DAD
FIGHTING? STOP IT! YOU KNOW!

YOU KNOW YOUR FATHER
AND I ARE SEPARATED

AND YOU BROUGHT US HERE
AND STUCK US IN THE WOODS

TO STARE AT EACH
OTHER FOR 48 HOURS!

WHAT WAS I TO DO?

YOU WEREN'T SAYING ANYTHING.
DAD WASN'T SAYING ANYTHING.

OF ALL THE CRUEL, INSENSITIVE...

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO
KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

YOU DID KNOW!

BUT YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO KNOW.

OF COURSE, I DIDN'T WANT
YOU TO KNOW. EXACTLY.

EXACTLY. EXACTLY, WHAT?

YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO KNOW,
AND YOU'RE MAD I DIDN'T KNOW?

BECAUSE YOU DID KNOW.

BUT I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW,
SO I ACTED LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW!

AND YOU FORCED YOUR FATHER
AND ME TO COME HERE TONIGHT,

UNDER PRETENSE
OF FAMILY OBLIGATION.

WELL, HELLO, THAT'S
THE GILMORE WAY.

I WON'T STAY OUT IN THAT
CABIN ONE MORE SECOND.

I DEMAND A ROOM IN HERE.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY ROOMS
IN HERE. THEY'RE ALL TAKEN.

THEN BUMP SOMEONE.

CAN'T YOU AND DAD
JUST TALK ABOUT...

NO, YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

WHAT HAPPENED? WAS
IT FLOYD'S LAWSUIT?

LORELAI, JUST GIVE ME A ROOM.

I DON'T HAVE A ROOM, MOM. YOU
DON'T HAVE A ROOM FOR YOUR MOTHER?

I HAVE A ROOM FOR MY MOTHER.
IT'S THE ROOM MY MOTHER'S IN.

THAT'S NOT A ROOM.
THAT'S A PRACTICAL JOKE.

NO, IT WAS A CHANCE FOR YOU
AND DAD TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL.

FINE. IF YOU WON'T
FIND ME ANOTHER ROOM,

THEN I'LL JUST SIT IN
THERE UNTIL TOMORROW.

JASON. EMILY.

DO YOU HAVE A ROOM?

NO, MOM, HE DOESN'T.

HE JUST SHOWED UP,
BECAUSE, APPARENTLY,

IT'S BLAKE EDWARDS
NIGHT AT THE DRAGONFLY.

EMILY.

JASON. RICHARD.

HE HAS A ROOM.

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?

OH, MY GOD.

I PACKED OUR THINGS.
I THINK IT'S TIME TO GO.

I HOPE YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN.

OH, YEAH, IT'S BEEN A BLAST.

CAN I GET THEIR ROOM?

♪

♪ SATELLITE'S GONE
WAY UP TO MARS ♪

HEY.

HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE?

YOUR MOM SAID SHE
SENT YOU ON AN ERRAND.

AH, YOU WENT RIGHT
TO THE SOURCE. YEAH.

CAN I... SURE.

THANKS.

♪ I WATCH IT FOR
A LITTLE WHILE ♪

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND SOME
C.D.S FOR THE DRAGONFLY.

I HEAR, UH, TAYLOR'S
A BIG HIP-HOP FAN.

OH, HE HOPS WITH
THE HIPPEST OF THEM.

♪ SATELLITE OF LOVE ♪

YOUR ROOM LOOKS THE SAME.

YEAH, I TRIED THAT WHOLE
FRENCH-REVIVAL THING,

BUT IT DIDN'T
REALLY WORK FOR ME.

SO, UM, IS IT WEIRD
BEING BACK AT HOME

AFTER BEING AWAY FOR A WHILE?

NO, IT FEELS COMPLETELY NORMAL.

SO, UM,

TODAY...

YES, TODAY.

AN INTERESTING DAY.

I'D AUTHORIZE A
CASE STUDY IF I COULD.

Y-YOU KNOW, I... I COULD BE WRONG,
BUT SOMEHOW I HAD A FEELING

THAT MAYBE IF TOM HADN'T
HAVE COME IN WHEN HE DID...

DEAN? YEAH?

LINDSAY.

IT'S NOT WORKING WITH LINDSAY.

I CAN'T MAKE IT
WORK. I'VE TRIED.

ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE I'VE HEARD

THAT THE FIRST 2 YEARS OF
MARRIAGE ARE THE HARDEST.

WE'RE NOT HAPPY.

SHE'S NOT HAPPY, AND I
CAN'T MAKE HER HAPPY.

I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT.

IT WAS A MISTAKE,
AND I KNOW THAT NOW.

FROM THE VERY
BEGINNING, IT WASN'T...

IT WASN'T WHAT?

IT WASN'T...

♪ SATELLITE OF LOVE ♪

MAYBE YOU COULD, UM,

GO SEE A COUNSELOR
OR GO AWAY TOGETHER.

NO, IT'S JUST...

IT'S OVER.

WE BOTH FEEL IT. I
KNOW WE BOTH FEEL IT.

YOU AND LINDSAY?

YEAH, ME AND LINDSAY.

YOU BOTH FEEL IT'S OVER?

I TRIED. WE TRIED.

WELL, IF IT'S OVER
I'M... WELL, I'M SORRY.

YOU ARE?

I'M SORRY YOU'RE NOT HAPPY.

I'LL BE HAPPY AG-AGAIN.

THINGS HAPPEN FOR
A REASON, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

♪ SATELLITE OF LOVE ♪

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS...

THAT WE'RE...

I CAN.

♪ SATELLITE ♪

♪ OF LOVE ♪

♪ SATELLITE OF LOVE ♪

HEY, HOW YOU DOING?

GOOD, GOOD.

LUKE DANES. AH, JASON STILES.

SO I SEE YOU HAD THE POT ROAST.

YEAH.

GOOD, HUH? YEAH, VERY GOOD.

ALL THE FOOD WAS GREAT TONIGHT.

SO, JASON STILES, JASON STILES.

I TELL YOU THAT
NAME IS FAMILIAR.

I'M A FRIEND OF LORELAI'S.

ME, TOO. I OWN
THE DINER IN TOWN.

YEAH, SHE'S MENTIONED YOU.

HAS SHE? WELL, IT'S
NICE TO BE MENTIONED.

SO, UH, YOU KNOW
LORELAI FROM WHERE?

ACTUALLY, WE'RE DATING.

YOU'RE DATING?
GOING ON 6 MONTHS.

YOU'RE DATING NOW? YEAH.

OH, SORRY, MY MISTAKE. I
THOUGHT YOU 2 HAD, UH...

WELL, WE HIT A ROUGH PATCH,
BUT WE'RE WORKING THROUGH IT.

WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

WHEN IT'S RIGHT, IT'S RIGHT,
AND LORELAI AND I ARE RIGHT.

WELL, THAT'S GREAT. I'M...
I'M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU.

THANKS.

HEY, YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHERE THE MEN'S ROOM IS?

IT'S BACK THROUGH
THE DINING ROOM.

NICE MEETING YOU.
SURE. YOU, TOO.

HEY, YOU'RE THE LAST ONE UP.

NO, NOT THE LAST ONE.

YOU OK?

I HEARD BABBETTE WAS
KICKING YOUR BUTT AT YAHTZEE.

ACTUALLY, I'M FEELING
PRETTY STUPID RIGHT NOW.

WHY?

I'M NOT A MYSTERIOUS MAN, AM I?

THE WARDROBE'S A BIT
OF A HEAD-SCRATCHER.

I THINK I'VE BEEN VERY, VERY
CLEAR WITH MY INTENTIONS.

YOU KNOW, THE WEDDING,
THE MOVIE INVITE, THE FLOWERS.

LUKE... YOU KNEW
WHAT I WAS DOING!

WELL, NO, NOT OFFICIALLY.

NOT OFFICIALLY? OH, COME ON.

I DIDN'T HAVE A REF PRESENT,
BUT OTHER THAN THAT...

WELL, YOU DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING OFFICIAL.

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED
TO SAY? I DID THINGS.

I LET MY ACTIONS SPEAK. THAT'S
WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

THAT'S THE ROMANTIC
WAY TO DO THIS, DAMN IT.

OK, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

AND YOU WENT
ALONG WITH ALL OF IT.

AND, SO, NATURALLY, I ASSUMED
WE WERE ON THE SAME PAGE

AND THEN YOUR
BOYFRIEND SHOWS UP HERE,

AT THE INN THAT I INVESTED IN.

WHOA, WHAT BOYFRIEND?
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JASON?

NO, TOM. YES, JASON.

YOU GUYS WERE
TALKING? WHAT DID HE SAY?

HE SAID YOU WERE TOGETHER.

I WAS SITTING THERE LISTENING TO
THIS GUY SPOUT ON AND ON ABOUT

HOW IT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE
RIGHT, HE'S RIGHT.

THE WHOLE TIME, I'M THINKING,

WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN
DOING ALL THIS FOR? SHE'S TAKEN.

I'M NOT TAKEN!

WE... WE BROKE UP!

WELL, HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT!

WELL, JUST CALM DOWN!

NO, I DON'T WANT TO CALM
DOWN! I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT.

I DID EXACTLY WHAT
THE BOOK SAID!

THE BOOK? I THOUGHT
WE WERE ON TRACK,

AND NOW YOU'RE STANDING
THERE LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M CRAZY.

I'M NOT LOOKING AT
YOU LIKE YOU'RE CRAZY!

YOU KNOW THE LAST TIME I
BOUGHT FLOWERS FOR SOMEONE?

NEVER! THAT'S WHEN!

VERY EASY STAT TO REMEMBER.

I LOVED THE FLOWERS!

WHEN I WALKED YOU HOME AFTER
THE WEDDING, THERE WAS A MOMENT.

I THOUGHT THERE WAS A MOMENT.

THERE WAS!

THERE WAS A MOMENT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WILL YOU JUST STAND STILL?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WILL YOU JUST STAND STILL?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.

RORY!

OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE
MISSING EVERYTHING.

GRAB THOSE C.D.S AND
HEAD BACK TO THE INN

BEFORE YOU MISS THE
CROSS-DRESSING MIDGETS

'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE
THE NIGHT IS HEADED.

AH, THINGS ARE HAPPENING.
BIG THINGS, WILD THINGS.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU. LET
ME JUST OPEN WITH THIS LITTLE TIDBIT:

KIRK RUNNING NAKED
THROUGH THE SQUARE.

OF COURSE, WITH ALL MY CAREFUL
PLANNING AND PREPARATION

I FORGOT TO BRING
BAND-AIDS AND A CAMERA.

I HAVE GOT TO LEARN
THAT ALWAYS, WITHOUT FAIL,

KIRK EQUALS CAMERA.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

DEAN CAME OVER TO
BORROW SOMETHING.

YEAH.

THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO, UM, I SHOULD GO, UM.

BYE, LORELAI.

BYE, DEAN.

SO, I'M ALMOST DONE
GETTING THE C.D.S TOGETHER.

I PICKED A WIDE SELECTION
SO WE'D HAVE CHOICES.

AND THEN I PICKED A BUNCH THAT
PROBABLY ONLY YOU WILL LIKE,

BUT IT'S GOOD TO HAVE OPTIONS.

SO, W-W-WHAT DID HE BORROW?

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TALK
TO YOU ABOUT IT FIRST.

I KNOW I PROMISED I
WOULD, BUT I SWEAR

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT... THAT
THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS
GOING TO SHOW UP TONIGHT,

AND IT JUST HAPPENED.

IT'S AWFUL FOR YOU TO
FIND OUT LIKE THIS, I KNOW,

BUT EVERYTHING'S OK. I'M OK,
AND WE WERE, YOU KNOW, SAFE.

SO ALL THOSE TROJAN-MAN
JOKES ALL THESE YEARS

REALLY APPARENTLY STUCK.

AND I'M LUCKY, TOO,
BECAUSE DEAN, HE'S...

WELL, AREN'T YOU GLAD THAT IT
HAPPENED WITH SOMEONE WHO'S GOOD

AND REALLY LOVES ME?

BUT HE'S MARRIED.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THE SITUATION.

IS HE STILL MARRIED?

YES, BUT...

THEN I UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

IT'S NOT WORKING OUT BETWEEN
THEM. THEY'RE NOT HAPPY.

OH, RORY.

HE TRIED THE BEST HE
COULD, BUT IT DIDN'T WORK.

IT'S OVER.

HE TOLD YOU THAT? YES.

HE TOLD YOU HE'S LEAVING HER?

WELL...

HE TOLD YOU HE'S MOVING OUT,

THEY'RE GETTING DIVORCED,
HE'S GOT A LAWYER,

THEY'VE DIVIDED UP THE
MONSTER TRUCK SEASON TICKETS?

WE DIDN'T GET AROUND
TO DISCUSSING EVERYTHING.

YOU DIDN'T GET AROUND
TO DISCUSSING EVERYTHING?

IT WAS A CRAZY NIGHT.

YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE.

THE GIRL WHO THINKS EVERYTHING
THROUGH, THE LIST-MAKER.

YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO
DISCUSS THOSE THINGS

BEFORE JUMPING INTO
BED WITH A MARRIED GUY?

HE'S NOT A MARRIED GUY.

HE'S DEAN, MY DEAN.

HE'S NOT YOUR DEAN.
HE'S LINDSAY'S DEAN.

YOU'RE THE OTHER WOMAN.

I TOLD YOU, IT'S OVER.

IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL HE'S OUT
OF THE HOUSE WITH THE RING OFF.

HE TOOK THE RING OFF.

OH, MY GOD, I
DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

HE'S IN LOVE WITH
ME, NOT LINDSAY.

DOES LINDSAY KNOW THAT?

SHE'S NOT GOOD FOR HIM, OK?

SHE LETS HIM QUIT SCHOOL AND
WORK HIMSELF TO DEATH AND...

NO, RORY, UH-UH, YOU CAN'T BE ONE OF
THOSE GIRLS WHO... WHO BLAMES THE WIFE

FOR FORCING THE
HUSBAND TO CHEAT.

HE WASN'T CHEATING.
HE WAS CHEATING, RORY.

HE WAS CHEATING, AND YOU
WERE CHEATING WITH HIM.

THERE'S NO OTHER
WAY TO SPIN THAT, KID.

I'M NOT SPINNING IT,
AND I'M NOT A KID. I'M 19.

THIS WAS YOUR FIRST TIME.

IT'S JUST NOT THE WAY YOUR
FIRST TIME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.

OH, AND HOW WAS MY
FIRST TIME SUPPOSED TO BE?

FIRST OF ALL, IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE IN A RETIREMENT HOME.

AND SECONDLY, IDEALLY, IT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE WITH SOMEONE SINGLE.

MY FIRST TIME WAS WITH SOMEONE
SWEET AND KIND WHO LOVES ME.

I DIDN'T RAISE YOU
TO BE LIKE THIS.

I DIDN'T RAISE YOU
TO BE THE KIND OF GIRL

WHO SLEEPS WITH
SOMEONE ELSE'S HUSBAND.

YOU SLEPT WITH DAD
WHEN HE WAS WITH SHERRY.

HE WASN'T MARRIED TO SHERRY.

HE WAS ENGAGED, AND
SHE WAS PREGNANT.

SO, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT? I SET
ONE CRAPPY EXAMPLE FOR YOU,

AND YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT
TO FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS?

RORY, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO NOW?

HUH? IS THERE A PLAN?

I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

I JUST WANT WHAT'S
BEST FOR YOU, THAT'S ALL!

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!

I JUST DON'T WANT
YOU TO GET HURT, RORY.

WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LEAVE HER?

NOW YOU'RE ALL
EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.

YOU'RE MAD BECAUSE I
DIDN'T COME RUNNING TO YOU

TO DISCUSS WHETHER I WAS READY
FOR THIS STEP. I DECIDED IT ON MY OWN.

OBVIOUSLY, YOU WEREN'T
READY FOR THIS STEP.

THE VERY FACT THAT YOU CHOSE ANOTHER
GIRL'S GUY TO SLEEP WITH, PROVES THAT.

HE WAS MY BOYFRIEND FIRST!

BUT YOU DUMPED HIM! YOU REJECTED
HIM. YOU PICKED SOMEONE ELSE.

STOP IT! RORY!

I HATE YOU FOR
RUINING THIS FOR ME.

HELLO? HELLO? HELLO?