Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 3, Episode 22 - Those Are Strings, Pinocchio - full transcript

♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪

♪ COME ON NOW PEACE TRAIN ♪

♪ OH PEACE TRAIN
SOUNDING LOUDER ♪

♪ GLIDE ON THE PEACE TRAIN ♪

COMING THROUGH, HEAVY PACKS!

OUT OF OUR WAY, PEACE BOY!

NO OFFENSE,

LOVE THE SONG, CARRY ON. GO.

♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪

♪ COME ON NOW PEACE TRAIN ♪

AND WUSS PATROL, HALT.

I HAVE NEVER KNOWN SUCH PAIN.

WE ARE SO NOT
WALKING AROUND EUROPE

WITH THOSE ANNOYING
THINGS ON OUR BACKS.

HOW ARE WE GOING TO BACKPACK
THROUGH EUROPE WITHOUT BACKPACKS?

WHEN WE TALKED
ABOUT BACKPACKING,

I NEVER PICTURED
US WITH BACKPACKS.

WHAT WERE YOU PICTURING?

SPRY, ACCOMMODATING EUROPEAN
MEN WITH NEAT MUSTACHES

TRAILING AFTER US, CARRYING
OUR LUGGAGE, HAILING TAXICABS,

CONSTANTLY REMINDING US
OF HOW BEAUTIFUL WE ARE.

NO, IT'S JUST THE TWO OF US
HUMPING OUR BACKPACKS AROUND.

WELL...

WELL, AT LEAST MY NEW
WALKING SHOES ARE ALL BROKEN IN.

IF YOU COUNT BROKEN
SKIN, BROKEN TOES...

DON'T DO THAT.

DON'T DO WHAT?

DON'T TAKE YOUR SHOES
OFF IN A RESTAURANT.

THERE'S NO "NO SHIRT, NO
SHOES, NO SERVICE" SIGN.

IT'S RIGHT HERE. DON'T DO THAT.

WE'RE IN PAIN, LUKE.

IT'S GREAT YOU'RE
BEARING IT SO NOBLY.

AND CAN YOU MOVE THESE?

CAN? NO.

WOULD IF WE COULD? DEBATABLE.

LOOK AT THAT.

SPRY AND ACCOMMODATING.

HEY, WOULD YOU GROW A MUSTACHE
AND FOLLOW US AROUND EUROPE?

SORRY, I GOT PLANS OF MY OWN.

REALLY?

YEP. I'M CLOSING THE DINER FOR COUPLE
OF WEEKS AND TAKING NICOLE ON A TRIP.

FUN.

WE'LL DRIVE THROUGH
WESTERN CANADA,

AND THEN TAKE A
CRUISE UP TO ALASKA.

A CRUISE?

INTIMATE.

I GUESS. IS IT?

♪ THE LOVE BOAT ♪

WHAT?

A CRUISE IS A GOOD SPOT
TO GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE.

AND DO MY VENTRILOQUIST ACT?

AND PROPOSE.

I HAVE NO PLANS TO PROPOSE.

YOU DON'T NOW.

BUT AFTER YOU'VE HAD DINNER
AT CAPTAIN STUBING'S TABLE,

AND ISAAC'S SERVED YOU
A COUPLE OF MOJITOS...

ROMANTIC CRUISES SAY
COMMITMENT, MY FRIEND.

I AM NOT COMMITTING AND I
AM NOT PROPOSING, SO DROP IT.

OK, IT'S DROPPED.

REALLY, DROP IT.

DIDN'T I SAY IT'S DROPPED?

I HEARD IT WITH MY
OWN EARS. THANK YOU.

♪ THE LOVE BOAT ♪

IF YOU HAD A RADIO IN HERE,
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

OK. SO YOUR GRADUATION'S
WEDNESDAY AT 4:00, CORRECT?

YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY
DON'T HAVE TO GO TO IT, LUKE.

I WANT TO. I FEEL I'VE BEEN THROUGH
THIS CHILTON THING WITH YOU.

OK, GOOD. I WANT YOU THERE.

GOOD. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

I'M JUST SORE.

LET'S GO HOME AND REST.

MMM.

HEY, WAIT, DON'T LEAVE THESE.

STORE THEM FOR US.

YEAH, TILL WE HIRE A FLATBED
TRUCK TO CARRY THEM HOME.

NO.

AH. LEFT FOOT HURTS,
RIGHT FOOT HURTS. CARRY ME.

YOU CARRY ME.

YOU CARRY ME. COME ON.

NO, YOU CARRY ME.

♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

WHAT IS TAKING HIM SO LONG?

I DON'T KNOW. LUKE, COME ON!

OH, MY GOD. I WALKED
RIGHT INTO A COBWEB.

OH! OH! SO, UH, WHAT'S
THE SHAPE OF THE PLACE?

IT WAS A REALLY BIG COBWEB.

TERRIBLE. SO WHAT'S THE STORY?

IS THERE A SPIDER ON ME?

SUCK IT UP, BIG GUY,
TELL US THE SCOOP.

IT'S NOT SO BAD.

SO IT'S NOT SO GOOD.

NOT SO BAD IS NOT SO GOOD.

NO, REALLY, IT'S NOT
BAD. THE FLOORS...

ARE ROTTED!

THEY NEED REPLACING.

IT'S A DISASTER.

THE FLOORS ARE FINE.
THEY NEED REFINISHING,

BUT THEY'RE REALLY NICE
QUARTERSAWN OAK FLOORS.

WHAT ABOUT THE ROOF?

THE ROOF...

IS SHOT. IT'S CAVING IN.

THE WALLS, TOO.

WITH OUR HOPES AND DREAMS.

NO, THE ROOF IS FINE.

SOME SHINGLES NEED REPLACING,

BUT THAT LOOKS
LIKE THE EXTENT OF IT.

ALMOST DONE HERE, FOLKS.

GREAT, KIRK. YOU FIND ANY MOLD?

DID I FIND ANY SILENT
DEATH? NOT SO FAR. NO.

GOOD.

I DID TELL YOU ABOUT
THE DANGERS OF MOLD

AND ED McMAHON'S DOG, RIGHT?

YES, YOU DID.

SUFFERED MEMORY LOSS
DUE TO MOLD INFESTATION.

FORGOT HOW TO SIT.

YES, IT WAS HORRIBLE.

IT'S A GROWTH
INDUSTRY RIGHT NOW,

PARDON THE PUN. MOLD IS MONEY.

I JUST WISH I WASN'T
SO SCARED OF FINDING IT.

WELL, DON'T LOOK TOO HARD THEN.

THANKS.

SO, WHAT'S THE FINAL PROGNOSIS?

WE'RE NOT BUYING A MONEY PIT?

YOU'RE GONNA SPEND MONEY.

BUT IT'S NOT A PIT,
MIGHT BE A STEAL.

IT'S A STEAL!

WE ARE SUCH GREAT BUSINESSWOMEN.

ONCE YOU START WORK,
YOU COULD HAVE THIS PLACE

UP AND RUNNIN' IN 4 OR 5 MONTHS.

WHICH GIVES THE
INDEPENDENCE INN OWNERS

PLENTY OF TIME TO
FIND OUR REPLACEMENTS.

WE COULD BE RUNNING OUR
OWN INN IN LESS THAN A YEAR!

OH! OHHH!

WHAT'S THE MATTER, KIRK? MOLD?

NO, A MOUSE!

WE ALL KNEW OUR EDUCATION
AT CHILTON WOULD BE EXEMPLARY,

BUT IT WAS THE
PEOPLE AT CHILTON,

ALL MY FRIENDS...
HI, MARCY, LOVE YOU.

CODY AND DEBBIE, LOVE YOU, TOO.

THE FACULTY, THE
ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF,

EVEN OUR JANITORIAL
STAFF, JAIME AND JOACHIM,

I CAN'T COUNT THE NUMBER
OF TIMES YOU MADE ME LAUGH...

DOES SHE NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION?

JAIME AND JOACHIM AREN'T EVEN
GETTING A COPY. SHE'S A MAROON.

IT'S THE YEAR'S END,
PEOPLE GET NOSTALGIC.

SO, HOW'S YOUR VALEDICTORIAN
SPEECH COMING ALONG?

OH, UM, IT'S OK. PRETTY
STANDARD, BORING.

"WE LOVE THE SCHOOL..."
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

NO ONE LISTENS TO
THOSE THINGS ANYHOW...

RELAX, I'M OK WITH YOU
MAKING VALEDICTORIAN OVER ME.

OH! GOOD, THANKS.

SURE.

I ACTUALLY GOOGLED THE PERSONAL
HISTORIES OF IVY LEAGUE VALEDICTORIANS

GOING BACK 25 YEARS AND FOUND
SOME ENLIGHTENING STATISTICS.

THEY DON'T NECESSARILY DO TOO
WELL IN LATER LIFE, DID YOU KNOW THAT?

NO.

OH, YEAH. A LOT OF
BUSINESS FAILURE,

CRUMBLED MARRIAGES,
SUICIDES, OBESITY.

OK.

A BUNCH DIED IN CAR
CRASHES, SEVERAL DID TIME,

ONE SUFFOCATED WHEN HIS
CAT FELL ASLEEP ON HIS FACE.

OK, THANKS AGAIN.

OK, A.V. GEEK, JUST PAN
MY BODY NICE AND SLOW.

WHY? YEAH, WHY?

I'LL NEVER LOOK
BETTER THAN I DO NOW.

COME ON, LADIES, WE
DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

A.V. GEEK, I'M GOING
TO NEED 6 MINUTES.

YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED 2.

ROLLING. ROLLING.

FELLOW CHILTON SENIORS,
IT'S BEEN QUITE A YEAR.

I HATE THIS.

ONE GUEST IN THE
WHOLE INN. ONE GUY.

AND I PULLED TOWEL DUTY TODAY.

IT'S ESPECIALLY AWFUL
HANDLING GUESTS' TOWELS

WHEN YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHICH
GUEST THE TOWELS BELONG TO.

IT'S HIS MITES ON THOSE TOWELS.

DON'T BE GROSS.

THIS IS DEGRADING FOR
A MAN OF MY CAPABILITIES.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME? I'VE
GOT NO KITCHEN, I'M A CHEF.

MY SKILLS ARE DETERIORATING.

I NEED TO SAUTE,
EMULSIFY, MARINATE.

I NEED MORE MENTAL STIMULATION.

I NEED TO FREAKING FRY A
DEAD ANIMAL IN A SKILLET.

I'M GOING NUTS.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DANCER.

WHAT?

MY MOTHER PUT ME IN DANCE
SCHOOL AND I REBELLED.

I WANTED TO KICK THE
FOOTBALL, I SHOULD NOT HAVE.

I'VE SEEN YOU DANCE AND
YOU JUMP AROUND LIKE A DUCK.

YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING
MIGHTY SICK OF YOU.

NOT AS SICK AS I AM OF YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
YOU DO HIS TOWELS,

I'M NOT DOING HIS
TOWELS ANYMORE.

I'M NOT DOING HIS STUPID TOWELS,

I HATE THAT STUPID GUY

WITH THAT STUPID
NEWSPAPER. HE'S STUPID.

YOU GUYS, NO BICKERING
IN FRONT OF THE GUEST.

TELL IT TO DENEY TERRIO HERE.

"I SHOULD'VE BEEN A DANCER."

LORELAI, HOW LONG CAN
WE KEEP THIS UP, HUH?

KEEP WHAT UP?

WE HAVE ONE GUEST,

HALF THE ROOMS ARE
STILL CLOSED FROM THE FIRE,

MOST OF THE STAFF IS LAID OFF,

I AM DOING MITE TOWELS,

AND THE OWNER'S SON IS WALKING
AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF MEN IN SUITS.

YEAH, JOHN'S HERE.
THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

JOHN IS HERE LOOKING THINGS
OVER FOR THE RENOVATION

THAT WILL REOPEN
THE CLOSED ROOMS,

SO WE CAN BE UP AND
RUNNING AGAIN. STOP WORRYING.

OK. OK.

INDEPENDENCE INN,
LORELAI SPEAKING.

LORELAI, IT'S YOUR MOTHER.

MOTHER, HI.

I'M CALLING TO FIND OUT HOW IT'S
GONNA WORK AT RORY'S GRADUATION.

ARE WE GOING TO BE
SITTING TOGETHER?

WELL, HMM. HMM. HMM.

LORELAI.

SORRY. HMM.

LORELAI.

MOTHER, OF COURSE WE'LL
SIT TOGETHER. WE'RE FAMILY.

WELL, I KNEW THAT, I JUST
WASN'T SURE IF YOU DID.

WE'RE SITTING TOGETHER.

GOOD. YES, IT IS.

ASK HER ABOUT THE GIFT.

DAD?

HE'S ON THE OTHER LINE.

OH. SURE GOT THAT
QUIET THING DOWN THERE.

OH, I'M ON THE
UPSTAIRS PORTABLE,

I'M ON MY WAY DOWNSTAIRS.

I SEE YOUR MOTHER
NOW. HELLO, EMILY.

HELLO, RICHARD.

I'M ON MY WAY TO THE
COUCH AND AM ABOUT TO SIT.

IT'S LIKE THE THRILLING
DAYS OF RADIO HERE.

WE WANTED TO ASK YOU
ABOUT A GIFT FOR RORY.

IT'S A BIG GIFT, A
LITTLE EXTRAVAGANT.

IT'S A BIG OCCASION
SO IT MAKES SENSE.

WE WANT TO BUY HER A CAR.

OH, I... I THINK
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

REALLY? WONDERFUL.

RORY NEEDS TO GET BACK
AND FORTH FROM YALE A LOT,

AND THE QUICKER SHE DOES
IT, THE MORE I GET TO SEE HER.

SO IT'S REALLY KIND OF
A PRESENT FOR ME, TOO.

YES, RIGHT.

I SUPPOSE SO.

DIDN'T THINK OF THAT.

JUST NOT A GAS GUZZLER AND
NO FERRARIS OR LAMBORGHINIS.

SO NOTHING ITALIAN.

NO, IT CAN BE ITALIAN,
JUST SENSIBLE ITALIAN.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, GOOD.

I'M GLAD WE HAVE THIS SETTLED.

GOOD.

WELL, MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU AT THE
GRADUATION AND MAYBE I WON'T.

WHAT?

SEE YOU THERE. BYE.

GOODBYE.

BYE.

HEY, YOU AND YOUR ARMANI
POSSE WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?

NO. NO, LORELAI,
WE'RE FINE. THANKS.

SO, I-I'VE BEEN LYING TO
PEOPLE ABOUT YOU ALL DAY.

ABOUT WHAT?

OH, ABOUT HOW IT'S NOT A BIG
DEAL THAT YOU'RE WALKING AROUND

WITH A CONCERNED
LOOK ON YOUR FACE,

WITH A GROUP OF MEN WITH
CONCERNED LOOKS ON THEIR FACES.

I THINK I'VE BEEN LYING
TO ME A LITTLE, TOO.

WE HAVE TO CLOSE
OFF 3 MORE ROOMS.

3 ROOMS.

THAT'LL LEAVE US WITH 2.

AND, UH, THE ESTIMATES
FOR THE REPAIRS,

TO GET EVERYTHING BACK TO THE
QUALITY WE HAD AND UP TO CODE,

IT'S NOT PRETTY.

NO, THAT'S NOT PRETTY.

MOM'S LEANING TOWARD SELLING.

SELLING.

NOTHING'S FINAL YET.

YEAH, NOTHING'S FINAL. I JUST...

RORY GREW UP HERE.

I GREW UP HERE.

YEAH. I'D BETTER GET
BACK TO MY GROUP.

GREAT, SURE, YOU GO.

HEY, BE CAREFUL NOT
TO TRIP OVER OUR GUEST.

I WON'T.

SOOKIE, JACKSON, YOU'D
BETTER NOT BE IN BED.

WERE YOU EXPECTING LORELAI? NO.

COME ON. THE NIGHT IS YOUNG
AND THE CHAMPAGNE'S COLD.

THE CHAMPAGNE?

SURPRISE. WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S A CELEBRATION.

FOR WHAT?

SOOKIE, GET SOME GLASSES.
JACKSON, PUT SOME MUSIC ON.

WHATEVER YOU WANT,
JUST MAKE IT FESTIVE.

GOT IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THIS IS, BUT IT'S FUN.

LET'S SEE. I'VE GOT CREEDENCE
CLEARWATER REVIVAL.

GOOD ENERGY, TOO HILLBILLY.

OK.

HOW YOU COMING
WITH THOSE GLASSES?

JUST WIPING THE FANCY ONES.

HUEY LEWIS & THE
NEWS. IT'S SOOKIE'S.

HEY, WE ALL HAVE
OUR GUILTY PLEASURES.

HERB ALPERT & THE TIJUANA BRASS.

OH, FUN, FESTIVE.
IT'S PERFECT. CRANK IT.

OK. I'VE GOT SOME COLD
DOM FOR ME AND JACKSON.

♪ HAPPENS TO BE MY BRAND.

OH, I LOVE THIS SONG.

AND, UH, FOR SOOKIE AND
LITTLE BABY, UH, WHATEVER IT IS,

WE GOT THE, UH,
APPLE BUBBLY STUFF.

AND CHEERS.

CHEERS.

WELL, COME ON, WHAT
ARE WE CELEBRATING?

WELL, YOU READY?

YEAH.

DEFINITELY.

THE INDEPENDENCE INN IS CLOSING!

YAY!

THE INN IS CLOSING?

NOT CLOSING, CLOSED.
WE'RE FINISHED, OVER.

THEY'RE BOARDING UP THE PLACE
AS WE SPEAK. WHO WANTS MORE?

WELL, DID THEY FIND SOME
GOLD IN THE BASEMENT?

'CAUSE I'M MISSING THE
CELEBRATING ANGLE.

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CELEBRATE
NEW CHALLENGES. THAT WHAT THIS IS.

A NEW CHALLENGE.

YES. THERE'LL BE SOME
SEVERANCE PAY, THEN NOTHING.

NOTHING.

NOTHING BUT EXCITING
NEW CHALLENGES.

CHEERS.

THE INN IS CLOSED.

WELL, I... I... I GUESS THIS MEANS
THAT YOU GUYS CAN FOCUS

SOLELY ON... ON
REFURBISHING THE DRAGONFLY.

GETTING THAT RUNNING.
THAT'S EXCITING.

YES, IT IS.

YEAH, I AGREE.

JUST DRINK SOME MORE.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

A LITTLE DRUNK AND ALL
I'M DRINKING IS APPLE JUICE.

WELL, GOOD, 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
ANOTHER LITTLE PIECE OF NEWS FOR YOU.

WE CAN'T BUY THE DRAGONFLY.

BECAUSE I CAN'T SWING
MY SHARE OF THE MONEY

BECAUSE I NO LONGER
HAVE A STEADY INCOME.

WOW! THAT IS GREAT.

I'M SORRY. WAS THAT AN
EXCITING CHALLENGE, TOO?

ABSOLUTELY.

YESTERDAY OUR LIVES WERE
BORING AND PREDICTABLE.

WE HAD JOBS, WE WERE GOING
TO START OUR OWN BUSINESS.

BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS WIDE OPEN.

WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT
BECAUSE WE'RE NOT PENNED IN.

THAT'S GOOD.

YES, THAT'S GOOD.

AND THINKING OF THOSE NEW
CHALLENGES IS A NICE WAY TO DISTRACT ME

FROM THE FACT THAT WE DON'T
WORK TOGETHER ANYMORE.

SO WE'RE GOING TO SEE
WAY LESS OF EACH OTHER.

WHICH WILL MAKE OUR LIMITED
TIME TOGETHER MORE ENJOYABLE.

RIGHT. AND SINCE I'M
YOUR VEGETABLE SUPPLIER,

I'M LOSING WORK,

AND SEEING MY WIFE AND CLOSE
FRIEND WAY LESS THAN BEFORE.

CHEERS.

THAT WOULD CONVERT
IT INTO A TOWN BYLAW,

A MINOR BUT NONETHELESS IMPORTANT
CHANGE FROM LOCAL ORDINANCE,

GIVING US THE LEEWAY TO ENFORCE
CHARTER AMENDMENTS 5 AND 6,

AND GRANDFATHERING IN
PREVIOUSLY PROPOSED STATUTES

WITH NO PROCEDURAL DELAY.

SO, ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF
GOING AHEAD WITH THIS, SAY "AYE."

ALL THOSE OPPOSED?

PEOPLE, WHAT'S GOING ON?

PEOPLE!

OH, SORRY, TAYLOR.

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

IT MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME

60 PEOPLE LOST THEIR TRAIN OF
THOUGHT ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

YEAH, TAYLOR, YOUR VOICE ALWAYS
MAKES ME THINK OF MY GROCERY LIST.

WE NEED CROUTONS.

GOT IT.

MOVING ON.

NOW, PEOPLE, I KNOW IT'S
AN UNPLEASANT SUBJECT,

BUT THE DEER
POPULATION IN THIS TOWN

IS REACHING MONSTROUS
PROPORTIONS.

NOT THIS AGAIN.

HE'S ALWAYS GOING
ON ABOUT THE DEER.

LEAVE THEM ALONE, TAYLOR.

BUT THEY'RE TAKING
OVER THE TOWN.

WE NEED TO INSTITUTE
PARTIAL ELIMINATION.

PARTIAL ELIMINATION?

YOU WANNA KILL THE
LITTLE ROMPING BAMBIS?

PEOPLE, DO I HAVE TO DETAIL THE
PROBLEMS THAT THESE DEER CAUSE?

NO, BUT YOU WILL.

LYME DISEASE, AUTO
ACCIDENTS, PLANE ACCIDENTS.

WE HAVE FLYING DEER?

OH, THAT'S SCARY.

YEAH, THOSE ONES YOU CAN SNUFF.

BUT THE WORST PROBLEM
IS THE CROP LOSS.

DEAN, HAND ME THE
BLOWUP, PLEASE.

DEAN, HE'S PAYING YOU
FOR ALL THIS, RIGHT?

YEAH.

REALLY, HOW MUCH?

PEOPLE, THIS IS A
RANDOMLY CHOSEN,

BUT TYPICAL LANDSCAPED
AREA IN THE TOWN,

THAT WAS DENUDED BY
THESE RUMINANT PESTS.

RANDOMLY CHOSEN?

TAYLOR, THAT'S YOUR BACKYARD.

THIS IS A LITTLE SELF-SERVING.

WELL, IT MIGHT BE MY YARD.

MIGHT BE? TAYLOR,

NO ONE ELSE HAS A "KISS
THE GARDENER" SIGN.

THIS IS A TRUMPED-UP PROBLEM.

SO NONE OF YOU ARE INTERESTED
IN ADDRESSING THIS SCOURGE?

I HAVE A THOUGHT.

GO AHEAD, KIRK.

A CONTROLLED HUNT.

GUNS?

NOT GUNS, WOLVES.

WHAT?

YOU RELEASE A PACK OF WOLVES,

THEY EAT THE DEER,
PROBLEM SOLVED.

OF COURSE, THEN YOU'LL HAVE
TO DEAL WITH A WOLF PROBLEM.

I SAY THAT WE DEFER THIS
UNSAVORY TOPIC FOR ANOTHER YEAR.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

ALL THOSE IN FAVOR?

AYE.

TAYLOR'S OPPOSED.
MEETING ADJOURNED.

I MISSED THE WHOLE THING?

YES, AND I'M STILL
SEMI-GROUNDED.

SO I HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT
OF TIME IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

WELL, HURRY AND SHOW
ME YOUR PROM PICTURES.

THESE ARE THEM.

LANE, HOW MANY DID YOU TAKE?

300. I'LL LEAVE THEM WITH YOU.

THEY'RE PRETTY SELF-EXPLANATORY.

WHAT'S THIS? OUR
CHICKEN PICATTA.

AH. AND THIS?

OUR CHICKEN PICATTA
AFTER ONE BITE.

SO DON'T TELL ME, 2 BITES?

YUP.

OK. I THINK I CAN
FOLLOW THIS. GOTTA RUN.

KEEP THEM IN ORDER.

I WILL.

HI.

HI.

TAYLOR'S PAYING YOU TO
DO ALL THIS WORK, ISN'T HE?

HE KNOWS I NEED MONEY SO HE'S
HELPING ME WITH EXTRA STUFF TO DO.

HE'S A GOOD GUY.

YEAH, HE IS A GOOD
GUY. A VERY GOOD GUY.

SO HOW ARE THE
OLD WEDDING PLANS?

THEY'RE FINE.

YOU KNOW, MY MOM'S HELD ABOUT
A MILLION WEDDINGS AT THE INN,

AND I'VE WORKED
ON A LOT OF THEM,

SO I'M A FOUNTAIN
OF USEFUL TIPS.

GOOD.

FOR INSTANCE, YOUR
PHOTOGRAPHER...

HAVE HIM TAKE CANDID PHOTOGRAPHS
ALONG WITH THE OTHER ONES.

SO THAT WAY YOU'LL CAPTURE A
LOT OF YOUR FAVORITE MOMENTS,

AND YOU WON'T BE STUCK WITH JUST
THE STIFF, YOU KNOW, POSED SHOTS.

CANDID. OK.

AND IF THE RING BEARER IS
YOUNGER THAN 5 YEARS OLD...

MY NEPHEW, HE'S 3.

DON'T GIVE HIM THE RING
UNTIL THE LAST SECOND.

BECAUSE I'VE SEEN
MANY A RING SWALLOWED,

AND, WELL, IT TAKES A COUPLE
OF DAYS TO GET IT BACK.

GOOD POINT.

IT'S ACTUALLY BEEN
KIND OF OVERWHELMING.

I MEAN, YOU MUST RENT
THE HALL A YEAR IN ADVANCE.

AND MAKE SURE YOUR DEPOSIT'S
REFUNDABLE AS LONG AS YOU CAN.

YEAH, IT IS.

THEN THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF THAT
WE HAVE TO BUY, TOO, FOR OUR PLACE.

OH, YEAH, ABOUT
THAT. COME ON, SIT.

WHAT'S THIS?

YOUR WEDDING GIFT.

WHAT?

YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT,

BUT I MARKED A BUNCH OF PAGES

WITH STUFF I THINK
WOULD BE APPROPRIATE.

I JUST WANTED TO GET IN EARLY,

SO THAT I COULD BE THE FIRST
PERSON GIVING YOU A BLENDER,

NOT THE 3RD ONE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

I KNOW, THAT'S WHY IT'S FUN.

OH.

THIS HAS EVERYTHING.

I'D RECOMMEND THE MIXING
BOWLS, THOSE ARE REALLY NICE.

OR A KNIFE SET AND A SHARPENER.

SHARPENING'S VERY IMPORTANT.

I LEARNED THAT FROM SOOKIE.

IF YOU LEAVE THEM TOO LONG, IT'S
TOO LATE. RESPECT YOUR KNIVES.

THANKS, RORY.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO JUST FLIP THROUGH
IT WITH LINDSAY,

PICK OUT WHAT YOU
WANT, AND I'LL ORDER IT.

I WILL.

BYE, DEAN.

BYE, RORY.

MAYBE WE SHOULD
BRING IT IN A BIT MORE.

SURE, FIRST, WHY DON'T YOU USE
A MEDIEVAL TORTURE INSTRUMENT

TO CRUSH MY RIBS AND
FLATTEN MY SPINAL CORD

IN ORDER TO ACCOMMODATE
YOUR SADISTIC WISH?

DON'T USE SUBTLETY
ON US, WE'RE SLOW.

SHE'S SAYING WE DON'T
NEED TO BRING IT IN ANYMORE.

TAKE IT OFF, YOU'RE DONE.

WELL, I SHOULD GO.

I'VE GOT A JOB INTERVIEW
TOMORROW MORNING.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NERVOUS.

WHICH PLACE?

HARRINGTON'S IN WOODBRIDGE.

NICE.

THEY WANT ME TO BE THEIR
EXECUTIVE CHEF 4 NIGHTS A WEEK.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WORKING
SOMEPLACE ELSE.

AND WITHOUT MY LORELAI.

BUT IT'S ONLY A FEW MONTHS

TILL THE DRAGONFLY OPENS, RIGHT?

UH, YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET?

TOLD ME WHAT?

I WAS WAITING FOR
AN OPPORTUNITY.

TO TELL ME WHAT?

WHICH APPARENTLY
IS RIGHT NOW. OK.

UM, HON, LISTEN,

WE, UM...

WE'RE NOT BUYING THE DRAGONFLY.

WHAT?

IT'S JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME.

YOU'RE CRAZY, IT'S
THE PERFECT TIME.

NOT REALLY.

BUT IF YOU WAIT, SOMEONE ELSE'LL
BUY IT, YOU SAID SO YOURSELF.

I'M GONNA GO, GUYS.
SORRY TO SPILL THE BEANS.

THAT'S OK, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

MOM, WHY PUT IT OFF?

I MEAN, I KNOW THE INDEPENDENT
INN CLOSING IS A SETBACK.

BIG ONE.

BUT WE'VE GOT THE REST
OF GRANDPA'S MONEY,

THAT'S PLENTY TO BUY
THE DRAGONFLY INN.

AND WE'LL JUST
SCRIMP ON EVERYTHING

UNTIL IT'S ALL UP AND
RUNNING AND SUCCESSFUL.

IT WOULD TAKE A
LOT OF SCRIMPING.

I'M A MASTER SCRIMPER. I WOULD
MAKE THE OLYMPIC SCRIMPING TEAM.

I'M THAT GOOD, BOY.

HONEY, WE DIDN'T GET
FINANCIAL AID FOR YALE.

WHAT?

NO SCHOLARSHIPS, NO HARDSHIP
MONEY, NO MONEY-OFF COUPONS,

NO GIFT CERTIFICATES. NOTHING.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, IRONY OF IRONIES, THE
MONEY I GOT FROM YOUR GRANDPA,

UH, TOOK US OUT OF
THE RUNNING FOR AID,

BECAUSE IT LOOKED
LIKE WE HAVE MONEY.

WELL, SEND THEM PROOF. A BANK
STATEMENT, A LETTER FROM GRANDPA.

A PICTURE OF THIS COUCH.

THEY'LL KNOW WE'RE
NOT RICH AFTER SEEING IT.

I TRIED EVERYTHING, I SWEAR.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?

WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON?
FINALS AND PERSONAL STUFF?

I DIDN'T WANT YOU WORRYING.

BUT GRANDPA'S MONEY...

IS PAYING FOR YALE.

NO. NO WAY. RORY.

I'LL TAKE A STUDENT
LOAN FROM A BANK.

THAT'S WHAT BANKS ARE FOR.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE BURIED
BY LOANS THE DAY YOU GRADUATE.

I'LL MAJOR IN SOMETHING THAT'LL
IMMEDIATELY MAKE ME MONEY WHEN I GRADUATE.

I'LL MAJOR IN BUSINESS
OR ENGINEERING.

YOU ARE NOT CHANGING
YOUR MAJOR FROM JOURNALISM

BECAUSE OF MY LACK OF MONEY.

IT'S OUR LACK.

LOOK, IF YOU NEED TO WORK AS A
LOW-PAID INTERN FOR A MAGAZINE

OR A STRINGER FOR SOME
SMALL-TOWN NEWSPAPER,

OR TOM BROKAW'S
TOUPEE COMBER-OUTER

BEFORE YOU MAKE REAL MONEY,

THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL DO.

THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY.

I'VE LOOKED, THERE'S NOTHING.

THIS IS SO NOT FAIR TO YOU.

I'LL HAVE MY OWN INN
ONE DAY, I PROMISE.

BUT YALE COMES FIRST.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA TO DO NOW?

RAIL AT GOD FOR A WHILE.

TELL HER I SAID HI.

HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO OUR PACKING ELVES

THAT WERE GOING TO PACK
OUR PACKS OVERNIGHT?

HOW ABOUT THIS?

YOU HATE THE DRESS
I MADE YOU SO MUCH?

NOT FOR GRADUATION, FOR EUROPE.

OH, IT'S PERFECT.

IT'S BLACK, SO IT WON'T
SHOW DIRT OR WRINKLES.

WEAR IT WITH A MOODY LOOK LIKE
YOU'RE THINKING OF BOLSHEVIKS,

THEY'LL MISTAKE YOU FOR
SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR. PACK IT.

IT'S TOO HEAVY.

WAS THAT A TRICK QUESTION?

WE NEED TO CUT
WEIGHT FROM OUR PACKS.

I'M DOING MY PART HERE.

WELL, YOU DON'T
NEED 5 PAIRS OF BOOTS.

I'LL DROP BOOTS
IF YOU DROP BOOKS.

I CAN'T DROP BOOKS.

YOU CAN'T BRING 12 BOOKS.

CUT YOUR UNDERGARMENTS.

DON'T FORGET, WE'LL RINSE
IN WOOLITE EVERY FEW DAYS.

THIS IS GOING TO AN
UNCOMFORTABLE PLACE.

AND YOUR TOOTHPASTE.
YOU HAVE 3 FULL TUBES.

SO?

WHY 3?

IF I LOSE ONE, I'LL HAVE
ANOTHER TO TAKE IT'S PLACE.

IF YOU BRINGING 3 TUBES, I'M
BRINGING 12 BOOKS PLUS A DICTIONARY.

THEN I'LL BRING A
GALLON OF MERCURY,

WHICH IS ONE OF THE DENSEST,
HEAVIEST SUBSTANCES KNOWN TO MAN.

THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL.

CANCEL EUROPE.

I'VE GOT TO RUN, I LOVE
MY GRADUATION DRESS.

I KNOW.

SHAME ABOUT EUROPE
BEING CANCELLED, HUH?

NO, IT'S OK.

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT ANYWAY.
EXCEPT FOR THE CHEESE.

9 BOOKS FOR 2 TOOTHPASTES.

DEAL.

WHO IS IT, EMILY?

I DON'T KNOW, RICHARD. MY
X-RAY VISION ISN'T WORKING.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU
WERE EXPECTING SOMEBODY.

I WASN'T EXPECTING ANYBODY.

RORY.

HI, GRANDMA. HI, GRANDPA.

WHAT BRINGS YOU
HERE ON THIS BUSY DAY?

I HAVE SORT OF A TIME-SENSITIVE
ISSUE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT.

TIME-SENSITIVE?
WELL, COME IN, COME IN.

WE WERE JUST GETTING
READY FOR YOUR CEREMONY.

I WAS JUST RETYING
MY TIE FOR THE 3RD TIME.

NO MATTER HOW
MANY TIMES I TIE IT,

THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR ERROR.

IT'S NOT AN EXACT
SCIENCE, IS IT?

NOR AN ART FORM, IT'S
PRETTY MUCH NOTHING.

SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

OK.

ALL RIGHT.

SHOULD WE BE NERVOUS?

NO, YOU SHOULDN'T
BE. I AM, A LITTLE.

WELL, WHAT IS IT?

I NEED MONEY.

YOU NEED MONEY. FOR YALE.

YOU NEED MONEY FOR YALE.

STOP REPEATING WHAT SHE SAYS.

I'M SORRY, I'M PROCESSING.

LOOK, IT'S A LONG STORY.
NO FINANCING CAME THROUGH,

AND ALL THE OPTIONS THAT MOM AND I
HAVE ARE JUST, WELL, NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

SO HERE'S THE OFFER:

I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO LOAN
ME THE MONEY FOR 4 YEARS AT YALE.

IN RETURN I WILL GET A PART-TIME
JOB AND PAY YOU IN INSTALLMENTS.

I WILL CONTINUE THIS PAYMENT
SCHEDULE AFTER GRADUATION

INCREASING THE PAYMENT AMOUNTS
IN PROPORTION TO MY INCOME.

PLUS, I WILL REINSTATE
FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNERS WITH ME.

EACH FRIDAY NIGHT I'LL
BE HERE, 7:00 ON THE DOT.

WELL, HOW WONDERFUL.

WE'VE MISSED YOU, RORY.

I'VE MISSED YOU, TOO.

SO THIS SHOULD WORK
OUT FOR EVERYONE, RIGHT?

ABSOLUTELY, WE'RE
HAPPY TO DO IT.

NOT SO FAST.

RICHARD.

OH, I'M HAPPY TO PAY FOR YALE,

BUT I DON'T WANT
IT TO BE A LOAN.

NO, I DON'T WANT THAT.
I WANT IT TO BE A LOAN

BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT'S TOO EASY.

WELL, THEN, HERE'S
MY COUNTEROFFER:

LET'S MAKE IT A LOAN,

BUT I INSIST THAT YOU
NOT START PAYING IT BACK

UNTIL AT LEAST 5 YEARS
AFTER YOU GRADUATE.

7 YEARS IF YOU GO
FOR YOUR MASTER'S.

THAT SOUNDS FAIR, BUT
I SHOULD PAY INTEREST.

NO. GRANDPA.

YOU ARE NOT GOING
TO PAY ME INTEREST

ON THIS MONEY. NO WAY.
THAT'S A DEAL BREAKER.

OK.

GOOD.

WONDERFUL.

WE HAVE A DEAL.

LISTEN, IF JOURNALISM
DOESN'T WORK OUT,

YOU COULD WORK FOR
ME AFTER YOU GRADUATE.

YOU'VE GOT GOOD DEAL-MAKING
SKILLS, EYE OF THE TIGER.

I'LL KEEP IT IN MIND.

WELL, I SHOULD GO.

RORY, DOES YOUR MOTHER
KNOW YOU'RE HERE?

NO.

THIS IS MY THING.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE CEREMONY.

WHERE DO YOU WANNA SIT?

THERE'S NO SPECIAL
DESIGNATED AREA

FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
OF THE VALEDICTORIAN?

LIKE A SKYBOX OR A VELVET
ROPE ON ONE OF THE ROWS.

WE'RE THE CHILTON
EQUIVALENT OF 50 CENT'S POSSE.

WHERE ARE THE BOYS?

OVER THERE.

THEY'RE DOING THAT THING GUYS DO

AROUND FANCY BUILDINGS.

TALK ABOUT THEIR CONSTRUCTION.

THE INSURANCE COSTS.

HEY, GUYS, GET OVER HERE.

HERE'S A ROW.

LET'S SEE, HOW MANY
SEATS DO WE NEED?

UH, YOU, ME, LUKE, JACKSON.

THAT'S 4.

PLUS PICKLEPUSS AND SAUERKRAUT.

YOUR PARENTS MAKE 6.

THESE STONES HAVE
TO BE CARVED BY HAND.

WITHOUT THE TOOLS WE
HAVE NOW. NO ELECTRICITY.

JUST PULLEYS AND FULCRUMS.

HEY, BOB VILA, TAKE A SEAT.

OK, WE HAVE TO VOW NOT TO
MAKE FUN OF ANY OF THE KIDS

BECAUSE INEVITABLY THEIR
FAMILY WILL BE SITTING BEHIND US

JUST LIKE AT THAT PLAY.

RIGHT.

OH, THE "BIG-EARED
ROMEO" FIASCO OF '98.

GOTCHA.

WHO'S PAGING YOU?

UH, MAYBE THERE'S A
SPECIAL SURPRISE PARTY

FOR THE VALEDICTORIAN'S MOM
BACKSTAGE BEFORE THE CEREMONY.

I BET THERE IS.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WOW, LOOK AT THE GARGOYLES.

WELL, YEAH.

OH, NO, THOSE HAVE TO
BE IMPORTED FROM EUROPE.

THE INSURANCE ON THIS
PLACE MUST BE ASTRONOMICAL.

NANNY, YOU BROUGHT THE KIDS!

OH, EXCUSE ME.

HI, I'M LOOKING
FOR RORY GILMORE,

SHE'S THE VALEDICTORIAN.
I'M HER MOM.

MOM.

NO, WAIT, GO AWAY. I WANT
TO TELL OTHER PEOPLE

I'M THE VALEDICTORIAN'S
MOM AND AM LOOKING FOR YOU.

I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS I WANNA
TELL YOU. QUICK. COME HERE.

OK. YOU'RE READY?

I HOPE SO. READY FOR WHAT?

YOU'RE GETTING YOUR INN.

WHAT?

GO PUT IN THE BID
ON THE DRAGONFLY.

YOU'VE GOT THE MONEY
NOW, GRANDPA'S MONEY.

WHAT? HOW DO I HAVE MONEY?

GRANDMA AND GRANDPA
ARE PAYING FOR YALE.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE...

I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING, AND
THEY'LL LEND ME THE MONEY FOR YALE.

WHEN DID THEY APPROACH YOU?

THEY DIDN'T. I
APPROACHED THEM. NO!

I JUST LEFT THEM.
IT'S A DONE DEAL.

SO GO. MAKE THE CALL, PUT IN THE
BID, BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES.

RORY, HONEY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND

THE GILMORES DO
NOTHING ALTRUISTICALLY?

STRINGS ARE ATTACHED
TO EVERYTHING.

THERE ARE NO STRINGS.

NO STRINGS?

NO, I JUST HAVE TO PAY THEM BACK

STARTING 5 YEARS
AFTER I GRADUATE.

I HAVE TO GO TO
FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNERS.

UM, HELLO, PINOCCHIO.
THOSE ARE STRINGS.

BUT IT WAS MY IDEA TO
RESUME THE DINNERS.

AND I OBLIGATED JUST ME,
YOU ARE IN NO WAY A PART OF IT.

THIS CAN'T HAPPEN, RORY.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO
DEFER YOUR DREAM.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
DONE THIS BEHIND MY BACK.

MOM, YALE IS MY THING. I
NEEDED FINANCING. I GOT IT.

OH, THOSE PEOPLE.
MASTER MANIPULATORS.

MOM, THIS WAS MY IDEA.
I'M MANIPULATING YOU.

THEY ARE MANIPULATING
YOU TO MANIPULATE ME.

HOW ARE THEY DOING THAT?

RORY, DON'T YOU SEE? IF
YOU GO TO FRIDAY DINNERS,

MOM KNOWS I'LL GO,
TOO, JUST TO BE WITH YOU.

SHE WASN'T THINKING THAT.

THEY'RE GETTING
EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT.

DON'T YOU SEE, WE'RE ALL
GETTING EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT.

IT'S A WIN-WIN-WIN SITUATION.

IT'S NOT.

IT IS.

OK, MAYBE... MAYBE IT IS.

BUT JUST ONCE, JUST ONCE,

I WANT YOU TO GET
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT,

AND ME TO GET EXACTLY WHAT I
WANT, AND THEM TO GET NOTHING.

WELL, WE'LL SEE IF WE CAN'T
ARRANGE THAT SOMETIME.

BUT THE CEREMONY'S ABOUT
TO START. I'D BETTER GO.

AND GO BUY THAT INN.

HI.

HELLO. OH, HI.

DAD, DIDN'T YOU SEE SOOKIE?
WE'VE GOT SEATS SAVED.

YES. WE DIDN'T KNOW IF THE WHOLE
SEATING ISSUE HAD BEEN RESOLVED.

WELL, IT WAS. COME ON.

I DON'T REMEMBER IT
BEING FULLY RESOLVED.

WE DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU
CHANGED YOUR MIND.

WELL, I DIDN'T. COME ON.

IT WASN'T CRYSTAL CLEAR.

FINE, JUST STAY THERE.

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.

AH!

UH, MOM, DAD,

YOU'VE MET EVERYONE
HERE: SOOKIE, JACKSON, LUKE.

HELLO.

HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

NO, UH, NO CHRISTOPHER?

UM, NO. HE'S OUT OF TOWN,

BUT HE'S HAVING US
TAKE TONS OF PICTURES,

AND ORDER HIM THE OFFICIAL VIDEO

AND WE MAY COME BACK AND REENACT
THE WHOLE THING WHEN HE GETS HOME.

NOW SIT, RELAX.

LONG STORY SHORT, AND A
PARTLY PAINFUL STORY AT THAT,

AND HANG ON TO YOUR HAT,

BUT WE CAN PUT A BID
IN ON THE DRAGONFLY.

HUH! WHAT?

YOU'RE KIDDING.
HOW? WHAT HAPPENED?

I CAN'T GO INTO IT NOW.

I GOTTA TELL YOU, EVEN WITH THE
CHAMPAGNE AND THE HERB ALBERT,

I'VE BEEN SO DEPRESSED. I COULDN'T
WATCH THE DATING GAME ANYMORE.

WELL, THAT'S ALL CHANGED NOW.

I'LL GO CALL THE ATTORNEY.

YOU SIT BACK AND RELAX,
AND ENJOY THE GRADUATION.

OW. OH, SORRY.

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN
AGAIN, PROMISE.

UH, YOU HAVE TO MOVE OVER ONE MORE
CHAIR TO BE PART OF THE GROUP, GUYS.

OH, I THOUGHT MAYBE
SOMEONE ELSE WAS COMING.

NO. YOU'RE SURE?

YES.

BECAUSE IT WOULD BE AWKWARD
TO MOVE DURING THE CEREMONY.

YES, I KNOW WHAT AWKWARD IS.

WHAT, MOM?

NOTHING.

THAT MAN IN FRONT OF ME IS
EXTRAORDINARILY TALL, DON'T YOU THINK?

THE MIDDLE ONE, CATARINA,

SHE BOWLED A 143 LAST WEEK.

IMPRESSIVE.

SORRY. OOPS.

I WAS HERE BEFORE YOU,
IT JUST LOOKS LIKE I'M LATE.

APPEARANCES CAN BE
DECEIVING, SO SORRY.

THE REAL-ESTATE AGENT
WASN'T IN, SO I LEFT A MESSAGE.

RATS.

DID RORY WALK IN?

YEAH, FIRST ROW, RIGHT IN FRONT
OF THE KID WITH THE HUMONGOUS...

UH, THE REALLY CUTE KID.

DARN, I WANTED TO GET A
PICTURE OF HER WALKING IN.

I'LL GET SOME OF
HER IN HER SEAT.

EXCUSE ME.

SORRY, I'M NOT...

I'M NOT LIKE THIS. TODAY I AM.

I'M WITH THE VALEDICTORIAN SO...

INVITED GUESTS, FELLOW FACULTY,

HONORED ATTENDEES AND STUDENTS,

WELCOME TO THE CHILTON ACADEMY

GRADUATING CLASS
CEREMONY OF 2003.

THIS YEARS' CLASS IS A
DISTINGUISHED ASSEMBLAGE,

EQUAL TO OR SURPASSING
WHAT HAS PRECEDED IT.

IN ITS 200-YEAR HISTORY,

CHILTON HAS NOT FAILED
TO PRODUCE A CLASS

THAT BRINGS ONLY
HONOR TO THESE GROUNDS,

AND TO THE ACADEMY'S
FINE TRADITIONS.

TO BEGIN, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE

THE STUDENT BODY
PRESIDENT, PARIS GELLER,

TO LEAD US IN THE
PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.

PARIS.

AS HIS PARTING SHOT TO ME,
CHARLESTON NEVER RESPONDED

TO THE 3 ASPECTS OF THE PLEDGE
THAT I HAD AN OBJECTION TO,

AND CONSIDERED REWRITING.

THAT'S NOT GOING TO STOP
ME FROM USING AIR QUOTES.

IN GOOD TIMES AND
BAD, CHILTON FORMED US,

BROUGHT US HOPE, HONED OUR
INSIGHT, GAVE US ENCOURAGEMENT.

THOUGH MY TIME HERE WAS BRIEFLY
INTERRUPTED BY MY PERIOD SPENT ON BROADWAY,

HANGING OUT WITH
STEPHEN SONDHEIM,

I STILL CONSIDER CHILTON THE MOST
REWARDING EXPERIENCE OF MY YOUNG LIFE.

NOW, IT HAD BEEN
MY PLAN IN CLOSING,

TO RECITE A SHORT
POEM I'D WRITTEN.

BUT RECONSIDERED.

COME ON, BRAD, GO OUT A WINNER.

AS I READ IT ALOUD, I
REALIZED THE SENTIMENTS

I WANTED TO SHARE WITH
MY FELLOW STUDENTS

WERE BETTER EXPRESSED
IN A FAVORITE SONG OF MINE.

♪ CHERISH IS THE WORD
I USE TO DESCRIBE ♪

♪ PONG, PONG PONG, PONG ♪

OH, BRAD.

♪ ALL THE FEELINGS THAT I HAVE
HIDING HERE FOR YOU INSIDE ♪

♪ PONG, PONG PONG ♪

♪ YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY
TIMES I WISHED THAT I HAD TOLD YOU ♪

IT'S A DISTINCT PLEASURE FOR ME

TO INTRODUCE TO YOU
OUR VALEDICTORIAN.

THIS YOUNG LADY WAS A SECOND-YEAR
TRANSFER FROM THE MODEST SCHOOL,

WHERE SHE DISTINGUISHED
HERSELF IMMEASURABLY.

SHE IS HUMBLE, HARD-WORKING,

COMPETITIVE WHEN NEED BE,

AND UNPARALLELED IN HER
ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
RORY GILMORE.

NOT CRYING, RIGHT?

NOT CRYING.

KEEPING OUR COOL SO
WE DON'T MISS ANYTHING.

TEARS GET IN YOUR EYES.

THEN YOU MISS THINGS.

SO WE'RE NOT CRYING.

NOT CRYING.

NOT CRYING.

NOT CRYING. NOT CRYING.

WHAT?

NO CRYING.

I'M NOT CRYING.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON,
FACULTY MEMBERS,

FELLOW STUDENTS, FAMILY
AND FRIENDS, WELCOME.

WE NEVER THOUGHT
THIS DAY WOULD COME.

WE PRAYED FOR
ITS QUICK DELIVERY,

CROSSED DAYS OFF OUR CALENDARS,

COUNTED HOURS,
MINUTES AND SECONDS,

AND NOW THAT IT'S
HERE, I'M SORRY IT IS,

BECAUSE IT MEANS LEAVING
FRIENDS WHO INSPIRE ME,

AND TEACHERS WHO'VE
BEEN MY MENTORS,

SO MANY PEOPLE
WHO'VE SHAPED MY LIFE,

AND MY FELLOW STUDENTS'
LIVES IMPERMEABLY AND FOREVER.

I LIVE IN 2 WORLDS.

ONE IS THE WORLD OF BOOKS.

I'VE BEEN A RESIDENT OF
FAULKNER'S YOKNAPATAWPHA COUNTY,

HUNTED THE WHITE WHALE ABOARD THE
PEQUOD, FOUGHT ALONGSIDE NAPOLEON,

SAILED A RAFT WITH HUCK AND JIM,

COMMITTED ABSURDITIES
WITH IGNATIUS J. REILLY,

RODE A SAD TRAIN
WITH ANNA KARENINA,

AND STROLLED DOWN SWANN'S WAY.

IT'S A REWARDING WORLD,

BUT MY 2ND ONE
IS BY FAR SUPERIOR.

MY SECOND ONE IS
POPULATED WITH CHARACTERS

SLIGHTLY LESS ECCENTRIC,
BUT SUPREMELY REAL,

MADE OF FLESH AND
BONE, FULL OF LOVE,

WHO ARE MY ULTIMATE
INSPIRATION FOR EVERYTHING.

RICHARD AND EMILY
GILMORE ARE KIND, DECENT,

UNFAILINGLY GENEROUS PEOPLE.

THEY ARE MY TWIN PILLARS,
WITHOUT WHOM I COULD NOT STAND.

I AM PROUD TO BE
THEIR GRANDCHILD.

BUT MY ULTIMATE INSPIRATION
COMES FROM MY BEST FRIEND,

THE DAZZLING WOMAN FROM WHOM I
RECEIVED MY NAME AND MY LIFE'S BLOOD,

LORELAI GILMORE.

UH-OH.

HANG IN THERE.

MY MOTHER NEVER GAVE ME ANY IDEA

THAT I COULDN'T DO
WHAT I WANTED TO DO

OR BE WHOMEVER I WANTED TO BE.

SHE FILLED OUR HOUSE WITH LOVE
AND FUN AND BOOKS AND MUSIC,

UNFLAGGING IN HER EFFORTS
TO GIVE ME ROLE MODELS,

FROM JANE AUSTEN TO EUDORA WELTY

TO PATTI SMITH.

AS SHE GUIDED ME THROUGH
THESE INCREDIBLE 18 YEARS,

I DON'T KNOW IF
SHE EVER REALIZED

THAT THE PERSON I MOST
WANTED TO BE WAS HER.

NOT CRYING.

CRYING A LITTLE.

CRYING A LITTLE
BUT NOT BLUBBERING.

THAT'S WHAT WE
MEANT BY NO CRYING.

NO BLUBBERING.

THANK YOU, MOM,

YOU ARE MY GUIDEPOST
FOR EVERYTHING.

ON THE VERGE OF BLUBBERING HERE.

NOT DOING TOO WELL MYSELF.

NOT YOU, TOO.

I'M BLUBBERING, YOU'RE FREAKS.

AS WE PREPARE
OURSELVES, TODAY...

ALLEGRA GRACE...

I SWEAR, I DO NOT RECOGNIZE
HALF OF THESE PEOPLE.

HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME,
WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

CLARISSA MARIE FORD.

WHERE IS SHE? DO YOU SEE HER?

SHE'S THE ONE IN THE ROBE.

LORELAI, PLEASE.

SHE'S LOST IN A SEA
OF BLUE POLYESTER.

I COULDN'T POINT
HER OUT IF I WANTED.

RICHARD, HOW MUCH
TO INSURE ALL THIS?

THE INSURANCE MAY
NOT BE PROHIBITIVE,

BUT THE DEDUCTIBLES WILL BE
ENORMOUS. WELL INTO 6 FIGURES.

6 FIGURES?

THAT'S LIKE HAVING
NO INSURANCE AT ALL.

SO IF THERE WAS A FIRE...

STOP ASSESSING THE
VALUE OF THE BUILDING.

PAY ATTENTION. RORY'S COMING UP.

OOH, OOH, SORRY.

I WANT A CLOSER SHOT OF
HER GETTING HER DIPLOMA.

SORRY. SORRY.

THANKS, I SUCK, I'M SORRY.

PARIS EUSTACE GELLER.

FINALLY, A NAME I RECOGNIZE.

CONGRATULATIONS, PARIS.

NO HARD FEELINGS.

OK.

LORELAI LEIGH GILMORE.

THIS IS IT.

SHE LOOKS SO SOLEMN.

LIKE A GILMORE.

CONGRATULATIONS, RORY.

THANK YOU, HEADMASTER.

DIANA CHRISTINE GODLY.

LORELAI, REALLY.

I TAUGHT HER EVERYTHING I KNOW.

HONEST TO GOD,
LAST TIME. OH, SORRY.

OH, MY GOD. UH, I... I... I...

I NEED A PEN.

I DON'T ONE. LUKE,
GIVE ME YOUR PEN.

I DON'T HAVE A PEN.

WHERE'S THE PEN YOU
TAKE ORDERS WITH?

YOU HAVE TO STOP ASSUMING

THAT I TAKE PENS WITH
ME EVERYWHERE I GO.

NEVER BE WITHOUT A PEN.

OH, THANK YOU, DAD.

BEATRICE ANNE HENDERSON...

SIMONE ISABELLE...

LORELAI, HOW MANY MORE
TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT?

I THINK ABOUT 6.

CLASS OF 2003, GIVE
YOURSELVES A HAND.

HOW WAS MY SPEECH?

IT MADE EVERYONE CRY
INCLUDING STONE-COLD LUKE.

LUKE, YOU OLD SOFTY.

I WILL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN.

NOT WITH ME AROUND.

I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE DINER.

THANKS FOR COMING, LUKE.

OH, SURE. THE
BUILDING'S AMAZING.

SO ARE YOU.

THANKS.

IT REALLY WAS GREAT
OF YOU TO COME, LUKE.

IT MEANT A LOT TO HER.

IT WAS FUN.

SO, IF I DON'T SEE YOU, HAVE
FUN ON YOUR TRIP WITH NICOLE.

OH, WE MAY NOT GO NOW.

WHAT? YOU WERE REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

NO, I DON'T KNOW IF
THE TIMING'S RIGHT.

THINGS ARE KIND
OF WEIRD RIGHT NOW.

OH, NO. WHAT?

IT'S BECAUSE I TEASED YOU ABOUT THE
COMMITMENT THING. AND PROPOSING. I RUINED IT.

NO, THAT'S NOT IT.

PLEASE, PROMISE ME THAT'S
NOT IT. IT WOULD BREAK MY HEART.

BUT YOU WEREN'T WRONG
ABOUT THAT. IT GOT ME THINKING.

AND IT IS KIND OF LIKE
COMMITTING TO HER.

SO?

I DON'T WANT TO LEAD HER ON.

BUT YOU LIKE HER, LUKE.

YOU LIKE HER A LOT, DON'T YOU?

YEAH. SHE'S GREAT.

THEN GO. NO MATTER
WHAT SHE'S READING INTO IT.

REALLY, YOU THINK
THAT'S OK CONSIDERING...

I DON'T KNOW, EVERYTHING?

YEAH, I DO.

OH, OK.

I'LL PROBABLY GO THEN.

GOOD.

I GUESS I WAS JUST
NERVOUS ABOUT NOTHIN'.

THAT'S WHAT I THINK, TOO.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A
COUPLE OF MONTHS.

YEAH. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

I GUESS WE SHOULD
SAY OUR GOODBYES.

NANNY MADE ME A SPECIAL DINNER,
SHE MAKES A MEAN FARTURAS.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU FOUND ME. I
WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, TOO.

GOOD. WELL, GOOD LUCK.

YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD,

MOST OF THE TIME I
REALLY HATED YOU.

YEAH.

I REALLY HATED YOU, TOO.

HEY.

WELL, I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME

TO PRESENT RORY WITH
HER GRADUATION GIFT.

OH, YOU GUYS DIDN'T
HAVE TO GET ME ANYTHING.

NONSENSE.

UH, THIS ONE WOULDN'T
FIT IN AN ENVELOPE,

SO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.

WE'RE REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT THIS ONE.

SO AM I.

GOOD.

RORY, THERE'S YOUR GIFT.

IT'S THE ONE WITH THE BOW.

UH, GRANDPA...

RICHARD.

FOR PETE'S SAKE.

WELL, IT WAS THE ONLY ONE
THERE WHEN I DROVE IT UP.

YOU SHOULD'VE PUT A
MORE DISTINCTIVE BOW ON IT.

WELL, HOW COULD I KNOW EVERY
KID HERE WAS GETTING A CAR?

YOU GOT ME A CAR.

WE GOT YOU A CAR.

OH, THAT'S AMAZING, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

UH, WHICH ONE IS IT?

OR DID YOU GET HER ONE
FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK?

WE GOT HER ONE
CAR. IT'S A LITTLE PRIUS.

IT'S SAFE, IT GETS
GREAT GAS MILEAGE.

AND IT'S THE ONE THAT
LEONARDO DICAPRIO DRIVES.

OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

WE LOVE YOU, TOO.

UH, AND DON'T FORGET
TO CALL ABOUT...

INSURANCE, I'LL DO
IT WHEN I GET HOME.

GOOD.

CONGRATULATIONS, RORY.

AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SPEECH.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I MEANT IT, THANK
YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

HAVE FUN IN EUROPE, BOTH OF YOU.

THANK YOU, MOM.

WHEN DO YOU GET BACK? THE 27TH.

TERRIFIC. WE'LL SEE YOU
THAT FRIDAY FOR DINNER.

EXPLAIN THE
WIN-WIN-WIN THING AGAIN?

EVERYBODY WINS,
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

HELLO?

HELLO?

HANG UP?

YEAH.

YOU'VE BEEN GETTING
A LOT OF THOSE LATELY.

HELLO?

HELLO?

JESS, IS THAT YOU?

JESS, I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S YOU.

SURE YOU'VE BEEN
CALLING AND NOT SPEAKING,

BUT WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.

HELLO?

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO TALK, FINE. I'LL TALK.

YOU DIDN'T HANDLE
THINGS RIGHT. AT ALL.

YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT YOU
WERE HAVING TROUBLE IN SCHOOL

AND WEREN'T GOING TO GRADUATE,
THAT YOUR DAD HAD BEEN THERE.

YOU DIDN'T. AND YOU ENDED
UP NOT TAKING ME TO MY PROM,

NOT COMING TO MY
GRADUATION AND LEAVING AGAIN,

WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE AGAIN.

THAT'S FINE. I GET IT,
BUT THAT'S IT FOR ME.

I'M GOING TO EUROPE TOMORROW AND
I'M GOING TO YALE AND I'M MOVING ON.

I'M NOT GOING TO PINE.

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T THINK
I WAS GOING TO PINE, OK?

I THINK...

I THINK I MAY HAVE
LOVED YOU, BUT I'VE...

I JUST NEED TO LET IT GO.

SO THAT'S IT, I GUESS.

UM...

I... I HOPE YOU'RE GOOD,
I WANT YOU TO BE GOOD.

AND, UM... OK. SO, GOODBYE.

THAT WORD SOUNDS REALLY
LAME AND STUPID RIGHT NOW,

BUT THERE IT IS. GOODBYE.

HEY. YOU OK?

I'M OK.

COME ON.

BUT SOOKIE AND JACKSON
ARE OUT THAT WAY.

I WANT TO GO BACK A
DIFFERENT WAY. COME ON.

I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING HOME.

I JUST WANNA MAKE ONE
MORE STOP BEFORE WE DO.

HEY, LUKE.

LORELAI, HI. WHERE'S RORY?

OH, OUT IN THE CAR.

OH. IT WAS A REALLY NICE
CEREMONY, WASN'T IT?

YEAH, IT WAS,

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

WHAT'S UP?

I JUST WANTED TO
SAY SOMETHING TO YOU

IN CASE WE DON'T SEE EACH
OTHER BEFORE YOU GO ON YOUR TRIP.

SURE. WHAT?

DON'T GET ENGAGED.

WHAT? WHY?

LORELAI?

MOM, WAIT.

HURRY. HURRY.

THIS OUTFIT PRODUCES A
LOT OF WIND RESISTANCE.

OK.

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

LEAVING OUR MARK, GOT A KNIFE?

A KNIFE, FOR WHAT?

CARVING OUR
INITIALS. KNIFE, KNIFE.

UH, LIKE A SWITCHBLADE
I KEEP IN MY SOCK?

NO, I LEFT IT AT HOME.

I MUST HAVE SOMETHING IN HERE.

AH, SAFETY PIN, PERFECT.

WE CAN'T DO THIS.

YES, WE CAN.

PEOPLE NEED TO
KNOW WE WERE HERE.

I'M IN THE YEARBOOK.

HOW ABOUT THE WALL?

IT'S OUT IN THE OPEN,
THEY'LL TRACE IT TO US.

THEY'LL SEE L.G. AND R.G.
AND FIGURE IT WAS US?

THERE AIN'T NO DORKS HERE.

SOMEWHERE IN THE FLOOR?

THIS MARBLE IS 200 YEARS OLD.

HARRIET BEECHER STOWE
WALKED ON THIS MARBLE. OH.

THE BANISTER.

WAS DONATED BY ROBERT FROST.

THE SCONCE.

WAS CEREMONIALLY LIT FOR
THE FIRST TIME BY THOMAS EDISON.

JEEZ. IS THERE ANYTHING
IN THIS WHOLE ROOM

THAT A FAMOUS DEAD PERSON
WAS NOT ASSOCIATED WITH? COOL IT.

THIS IS VERY INTERESTING,
ARCHITECTURAL DOODADS AND FOO-FAWS.

AND WING-DINGS AND TUM-TUMS.

THAT WAS CLOSE.

LOOK, JUST CARVE IT REALLY TINY
HERE IN THE BASEBOARD OF THE WALL,

AND DO IT REVERSED.
SO, G.L. AND G.R.

OH, MAYBE IT'S NOT
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

THE MADNESS PASSES. HM.

HEY, YOU GUYS COMING?
PARTY AT YOUR PLACE, RIGHT?

A PARTY?

JUST A LITTLE GATHERING. COOL.

WE'LL MEET YOU
BACK AT OUR HOUSE.

OK. SEE YOU THERE.

WAIT. WAIT.

LOOK AROUND FOR A SECOND.

NOTICE?

NOTICE WHAT?

IT'S NOT SO SCARY ANYMORE.

NO, IT'S NOT.