Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Ins and Outs of Inns - full transcript

HOW'S THE MEAL?

TASTY.

VERY TASTY. NEW COOK?

YES, MARISELLA. SHE'S INTRODUCED
US TO SOME WONDERFUL DISHES

SO CHARMINGLY SPECIFIC
TO HER NATIVE COUNTRY.

WHAT COUNTRY IS SHE FROM?

ONE OF THOSE LITTLE
ONES, NEXT TO MEXICO.

HOW CHARMINGLY SPECIFIC.

TOO BAD GRANDPA'S NOT HERE.

HE LIKES WEIRD FOOD.

WHERE'S HE EATING HIS
WEIRD FOOD TONIGHT?

ARGENTINA? MOROCCO?

AKRON.

OHIO? YES.

GET OUT OF HERE.

I WILL NOT "GET OUT OF HERE."

NO, I DIDN'T MEAN
REALLY GET OUT OF HERE.

WHY IS GRANDPA IN AKRON?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT WAS JUST A SAYING.

THEY SENT HIM TO DEAL WITH SOME
PROBLEM WITH THEIR LOCAL OFFICE.

A SAYING, LIKE "SAVE ME," OR "GET
ME OUT OF HERE." THINGS LIKE THAT.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO PUT
A MIRROR IN FRONT OF YOU

SO YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF
DURING THIS CONVERSATION.

SORRY. DAD'S IN AKRON. YES.

THE AMENITIES ARE
ATROCIOUSLY LACKING.

HE HAD TO EAT AT A
COFFEE SHOP LAST NIGHT.

THE WHOLE THING'S TERRIBLY
INSULTING. HE'S MISERABLE.

I HATE THAT HE'S MISERABLE.

SO DO I. WE REALLY
OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING.

YES, I AGREE.

WARNING, WARNING.

I'M GLAD TO HEAR
YOU SAY THAT, RORY.

I THOUGHT OF A WONDERFUL
WAY TO CHEER HIM UP.

COOL. WHAT?

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!

AN OIL PORTRAIT OF
YOU FOR HIS STUDY.

AN OIL PORTRAIT?

I TRIED. HAVE FUN.

IT COULD HANG RIGHT
OVER HIS MANTEL.

HE'D JUST LOVE IT.

I GUESS THAT WOULD BE OK.

OH, MOM, PLEASE
DON'T MAKE HER DO THIS.

SHE JUST SAID SHE WOULD.

FINE, PAINT THE PICTURE, BUT
DON'T MAKE HER SIT AND POSE FOR IT.

PAINT IT FROM A PHOTO.

A PHOTO? THAT'S
WHAT THEY DO AT MALLS.

I'LL SIT. IT'S FINE.

JUST BECAUSE YOUR
EXPERIENCE WAS BAD

DOESN'T MEAN RORY'S HAS TO BE.

WHAT PORTRAIT? I
HAVEN'T SEEN THIS.

THEY NEVER FINISHED.

3 PAINTERS STARTED,
AND THEY ALL 3 QUIT.

WHY DID THEY QUIT?

SHE WOULDN'T STOP SCOWLING.

I WAS GOING FOR
A BILLY IDOL THING.

THE ONE FROM ITALY HAD
SOME SORT OF BREAKDOWN.

IT DIDN'T HURT VAN GOGH.
THE GUY SHOULD THANK ME.

A YEAR LATER, I SWEAR I SAW HIM

RUMMAGING THROUGH
OUR RECYCLABLES.

WELL, I'M HAPPY TO SIT. IF
IT'S FOR GRANDPA, WHY NOT?

WONDERFUL. I'LL SET IT UP
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

IF YOU WANT, I CAN
TEACH YOU THE BILLY IDOL.

MOST PEOPLE FOCUS
ON THE LIP THING,

BUT THE EYES ARE
JUST AS IMPORTANT...

♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

SO, FIRST THING YOU AND
SOOKIE WOULD DO IS INCORPORATE.

WOW. SOUNDS SO BIGTIME.

NOT REALLY. IT JUST MEANS
YOU'RE A SINGLE BUSINESS ENTITY.

YOU'LL BOTH BE OFFICERS
AND SHAREHOLDERS

AND YOU'LL GET TO MAKE UP
A NAME FOR YOUR COMPANY.

MMM, I'M TERRIBLE AT
COMING UP WITH NAMES.

WHEN WE FIRST BOUGHT OUR HOUSE,

RORY AND I WANTED TO NAME IT.

YOU KNOW, LIKE JEFFERSON
NAMED HIS PLACE MONTICELLO,

BUT ALL WE COULD COME UP
WITH WAS "THE CRAP SHACK."

NICE.

COFFEE?

OH, YEAH, THANKS.

HOW ARE YOU, JESS?

I'M NOT BLEEDIN' OR ANYTHIN'.

WELL, THEN IT'S GONNA
BE A GOOD DAY, HUH?

IT'S 7:45. SO?

SO DO YOU WANT
ME TO GO TO SCHOOL,

OR YOU WANT TO OPENLY
DEFY CHILD-LABOR LAWS?

GO.

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

I GUESS THAT MEANS CALLING OFF THE
CHICKIE RUN DOWN AT THE SALT FLATS.

OUT!

WOW. SO MUCH LOVE.

SO, YOU GUYS HAVE A
SITE IN MIND FOR THE INN?

YES. GREAT. WHERE?

YOU'VE SEEN PICTURES OF
IT. THE RACHEL PROPERTY.

OH, RIGHT.

SORRY. IT'S OK.

I JUST MEANT, RACHEL
TOOK THE PICTURES,

AND THE PICTURES KIND
OF GOT US INTO THE PLACE.

SO WE STARTED CALLING
IT THE RACHEL PROPERTY

BECAUSE IT MADE SENSE AT THE
TIME AND THEN IT BECAME A HABIT.

NOW, OUT OF RESPECT FOR YOU, I'M
GONNA STOP REPEATEDLY USING HER NAME

AND THINK OF ANOTHER
NAME TO CALL IT.

LET'S SEE. "THE CRAP
SHACK" IS TAKEN.

IT'S OK. CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.

WHO TAUGHT YOU ABOUT ALL
THIS BUSINESS STUFF? YOUR DAD?

PLEASE, MY DAD DIDN'T EVEN
HAVE A CHECKIN' ACCOUNT

TILL I FINALLY GOT
TALLER THAN HE WAS.

HE BOUGHT THIS LAND WITH
CASH, BUILT THIS PLACE HIMSELF.

DIDN'T HAVE A BOOKKEEPER,
ACCOUNTANT, OR ANYTHING.

SO YOU HAD NO ONE
SHOWING YOU THE ROPES.

NO. I FIGURED I HAD TO JUST DIVE IN
ON MY OWN, FAIL IF THAT'S MY DESTINY

AND FORGET WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY.

THAT IS EXACTLY MY
PHILOSOPHY. EXACTLY.

EXCEPT I'M NOT DIVING IN ON MY
OWN, I'M DIVING IN WITH SOOKIE.

AND, UH, FAILURE IS NOT
EVEN A CHOICE OF DESTINIES.

AND I'M CONSULTING ANY
EXPERT WHO WILL LISTEN TO ME.

OTHERWISE, IT'S IDENTICAL.

WELL, I SHOULD BE GETTIN' GOIN'.

YOU GONNA WRITE THIS MEAL OFF?

WHY?

WE TALKED BUSINESS.

YOU GOTTA BE THINKIN'
ABOUT THESE THINGS.

NO, I MEAN, "WHY?
I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT."

AH.

EXACTLY.

YOU'RE GONNA DO FINE.

IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO FLASHY.

HOW ABOUT SOMETHING
HISTORICAL, LIKE "THE PAUL REVERE"?

OH, THAT COULD WORK.

WHAT COULD WORK?

WE'RE THINKING UP
NAMES FOR THE INN.

IF YOU WANT SIMPLE, SOMETHING
LIKE "THE COUNTRY ROSE."

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

WE COULD LINE THE FRONT
PATH WITH MULTICOLORED ROSES.

OR... OR "THE INN
BY THE HOLLOW."

KIND OF LONG. NO, BUT NICE.

HOW ABOUT "THE MONEY PIT"? BOO.

OR "THE OUTHOUSE"?
GO INTERNATIONAL.

GO BACK IN YOUR HOLE.

OR "THE INN HEADING
FOR BANKRUPTCY"?

KIND OF LONG, BUT NICE.

YOU WHO HAVE NO DREAMS,
RAIN ON THOSE WHO DO.

I SAY THIS BECAUSE
I CARE ABOUT YOU.

IT'S RISKY, WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

MOST NEW BUSINESSES
GO DOWN WITHIN 2 YEARS.

I SAY IF WE GO
DOWN AFTER 2 YEARS,

IT'LL BE THE MOST EXCITING
2 YEARS OF OUR LIVES.

SAME HERE. BOREDOM STINKS!

FINE. PROCEED BLINDLY.

HERE, THIS CAME
IN 10 MINUTES AGO.

IT DOES NOT INVOLVE
THE INDEPENDENCE INN.

THEREFORE, DELIVERING IT WAS
BEYOND MY OFFICIAL OBLIGATIONS,

SO I AM TAKING AN
EXTRA-LONG LUNCH BREAK.

HE'S SO GENUINE.

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT?

IT'S THE TITLE SEARCH FOR THE RACHEL
PROPERTY. AND GUESS WHO OWNS IT?

TELL ME IT'S NOT THAT
BASTARD DONALD TRUMP.

FRAN.

FRAN FROM WESTIN BAKERY?

SWEET LITTLE FRAN,
THE CUPCAKE LADY.

NOT SOME CIGAR-CHOMPING,
DIRTY-DEALING CITY SLICKER.

OH, THAT'S GOOD. HEY, "THE COUNTRY
SLICKER." FUNNY NAME, CUTESY IDEA.

IT'S A LITTLE MUCH.

IT'S WAY TOO
MUCH. I'LL CALL FRAN.

OOH, "FRAN'S OLD PLACE."

IT'LL BE LIKE RUTH'S
CHRIS STEAKHOUSE.

PEOPLE WILL BE TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT WHO FRAN IS.

OR "THE IN INN." IT'S LIKE AN
INN THAT'S IN WITH THE IN-CROWD.

I'M GONNA GO SIT DOWN.

DO THAT, SWEETIE.

OK.

HONEY, I AM SO SORRY.

AM I LATE-LATE, OR JUST LATE?

2 PIECES OF CARROT
CAKE AND A RUM BALL.

OH, I'M SO SORRY.

I SWEAR, I MEANT TO BE ON TIME.

BUT I WAS PREPPING
THE RASPBERRY GLAZE

FOR TONIGHT'S DESSERT
SPECIAL, AND IT STRUCK ME:

I MADE A BLUEBERRY
GLAZE FOR THE SOUFFLE

I MADE LAST TUESDAY,
AND THIS IS TUESDAY.

AND A LOT OF LOCALS COME EVERY
WEEK ON THE SAME NIGHT EVERY WEEK.

AND I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO
SERVE THEM A SIMILAR DESSERT

EVEN THOUGH IT'S A
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BERRY.

I NEED ANOTHER RUM BALL.

I'M SORRY.

NO, YOU'RE A PERFECTIONIST.

AND THAT ATTENTION TO DETAIL IS
WHY PEOPLE CALL YOU "THE MAESTRO."

REALLY? WHO CALLS ME THAT?

THE PEOPLE WHO
EAT THE RUM BALLS.

SO, LADIES, HOW
ARE WE DOING HERE?

WE'RE DOING GREAT, FRAN.

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

FRAN, COULD SOOKIE AND I TALK
TO YOU FOR A COUPLE MINUTES?

OH, OF COURSE. MARJORIE
CAN HANDLE THINGS.

FRAN, ARE YOU OK?

OH, IT'S THIS BUM HIP.

IT NEEDS TO BE REPLACED. AGAIN.

AND I HAVE THIS AWFUL ANGINA.

OH, WE'RE SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

SO, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T COME
HERE TO LISTEN TO ME GRIPE,

SO TELL ME WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND.

OK, WELL, FRAN, WE
UNDERSTAND THAT YOU OWN

THE OLD DRAGONFLY
BED-AND-BREAKFAST,

THAT WHOLE PROPERTY OUT THERE.

WHY, YES, I DO. IT WAS
MY PARENTS' BUSINESS.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.

OH, IT USED TO BE. BUT
IT'S IN SUCH DISARRAY NOW.

YES, IT IS. THAT'S KIND
OF WHY WE'RE HERE.

WE'D ACTUALLY LIKE TO BUY IT.

BUY THE DRAGONFLY?

YES, WE'D LIKE TO BUY IT
AND MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL AGAIN,

AND WE'RE PREPARED TO
MAKE YOU AN OFFER RIGHT NOW.

OH, MY, WELL,
THIS IS A SURPRISE.

SEE, SOOKIE AND I ARE
GOING TO START OUR OWN INN

AND WE'VE BEEN SEARCHING
FOR THE PERFECT PLACE.

YOUR OWN INN?

YEAH.

OH, HOW WONDERFUL!

YOU ARE GOING TO
BE SO SUCCESSFUL.

THANKS, SWEETIE.

THAT MEANS SO MUCH, LIKE
WE HAVE YOUR BLESSING.

BUT I CAN'T SELL
YOU THE PROPERTY.

WHAT? HOW COME?

I JUST COULDN'T.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE NO
SIBLINGS AND NO CHILDREN

AND, IN A WAY, THAT PLACE IS
REALLY THE ONLY FAMILY I HAVE.

I'M THE LAST WESTIN LEFT,
SO I PLAN TO OWN IT FOREVER.

FOREVER?

FOREVER AND EVER.

THAT'S A VERY LONG TIME.

A VERY LONG TIME.

I'M SO SORRY.

FRAN, MAY I ASK...

UM...

GO AHEAD, HONEY, ASK
ME ANYTHING YOU WANT.

WELL, WHAT HAPPENS
TO THE PLACE IF YOU...

WELL, IF FOREVER
ISN'T QUITE FOREVER?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND, DEAR.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I
CAN'T SELL THE PLACE.

OH, NO, I... I DON'T
MEAN SELLING IT.

I MEAN YOU WOULD KEEP IT
FOREVER, BUT WHAT HAPPENS

ONCE YOU'RE NO
LONGER IN THE POSITION

OF PHYSICALLY
CONTROLLING THE PROPERTY?

HOW COULD THAT BE?

UH, WELL, IF YOU, UH, IF YOU...

TAKE A LONG VACATION.

YES, TAKE A LONG
VACATION. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

AND WHEN YOU'RE
ON THAT VACATION,

THE PROPERTY IS JUST
LEFT SITTING THERE.

WHAT HAPPENS THEN?

OH, I DON'T ENJOY VACATIONS.

I TOURED THE CALIFORNIA
GOLD COUNTRY 10 YEARS AGO.

IT WAS HOT, AND THE BUS SMELLED.

OK. I MEAN A L-LONGER VACATION
THAN A... A TRIP TO CALIFORNIA.

TO A DIFFERENT PLACE.

WHAT KIND OF PLACE?

A PLACE OUT THERE.

WAY OUT THERE, FRAN.

EUROPE?

I MEAN, THE ULTIMATE
LONG VACATION.

YEAH, FRAN, SEE, EVENTUALLY,

WE'RE ALL GONNA TAKE
THE SAME LONG VACATION.

AND... AND WITH
THAT BEING THE CASE,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO SELL THE
PROPERTY NOW AND ENJOY THE MONEY.

I'M VERY SORRY, BUT I
CAN NEVER SELL THE PLACE.

OH, OH.

THANKS FOR YOUR TIME, FRAN.

YEAH, THANKS, FRAN.

BYE, NOW.

BYE.

BYE.

YOU BOTH LOOK SO SAD.

WOULD YOU LIKE A CUPCAKE?

PLEASE.

YEAH.

SO, JANIE FERTMAN'S TRYING
TO BE MY FRIEND AGAIN.

YIKES. WHAT KIND OF
VIBE WERE YOU GIVIN' HER?

OH, MY PATENTED KEITH RICHARDS,
CIRCA 1969, DON'T-MESS-WITH-ME VIBE,

WITH A 1000-YARD
ASIAN STARE THROWN IN.

THAT SHOULD DO IT.

WHAT'S HAPPENING UP THERE?

JUST TRY TO CALM DOWN, TAYLOR.

CALM DOWN? WHY
SHOULD I CALM DOWN?

YEAH, WHY SHOULD HE CALM DOWN?

I WANT ACTION, NOT WORDS!

YEAH, ACTION, NOT WORDS.

DON'T YOU NEED TO GET
BACK TO YOUR NEWSSTAND?

NO, BUDDY, I'M ALL YOURS.

WE'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM
OF THIS, I PROMISE YOU.

A CRIME WAS COMMITTED
RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY STORE!

NOW, WE CAN'T SAY
THAT FOR SURE YET.

HOW COME YOU CAN'T
SAY THAT FOR SURE?

THIS IS A POLICE TAPE.

YOU'RE THE POLICE.
YOU OWN THE TAPE.

TAYLOR, WE'VE CONTACTED
EVERYONE IN THE PRECINCT.

NO ONE KNOWS
ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I'VE GOT A
DEAD BODY RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY STORE!

NO, YOU HAVE A CHALK OUTLINE OF A
DEAD BODY IN FRONT OF YOUR STORE.

MEANING THAT
THERE WERE 2 CRIMES.

WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHAT?"

SOMEBODY GOT MURDERED,
THEN SOMEBODY STOLE THE BODY.

IT'S OPEN-AND-SHUT.
BING, BANG, BOOM!

IS THIS YOUR SON?

I SHOULD SAY NOT!

LOOK, MY PARTNER'S
OUT DOING A HEAD COUNT

TO SEE IF ANYBODY
IN TOWN IS MISSING.

UNTIL THEN, JUST HANG TIGHT.

HEY. HEY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW. I GOT HERE,
AND THIS IS WHAT I FOUND.

I TOLD HIM IT LOOKED FAKE,
BUT HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.

AND YOU HAVE SUCH
AN HONEST FACE.

WELL, HE MUST NOT LOVE
ME AS MUCH AS YOU DO.

OK, YOU TWO ARE
OFFICIALLY SICKENING.

EVERYONE'S
ACCOUNTED FOR, TAYLOR.

LOOKS LIKE THIS IS JUST
AN ELABORATE PRANK.

IT LOOKS SO REAL.

WHERE'D THEY GET
THE POLICE TAPE?

KIDS HAVE THEIR WAYS.

WHO'D BE DEPRAVED ENOUGH

TO PULL A STUPID
PRANK LIKE THIS?

HARD TO SAY.

MOM, YOU'RE NOT WRITING
WHAT YOU PURCHASED

ON THE BACK OF ANY OF
THESE CREDIT CARD RECEIPTS.

WELL, JUST PUT "COOKING
SPRAY AND SPONGES."

OK.

AND WHEN AN AUDITOR
WANTS TO KNOW WHY

YOU NEED SUCH LARGE
AMOUNTS OF THOSE?

THEN I DROP MY PENCIL, AND
PUT THE SCOOP-NECK SWEATER

THAT I'M NOW MAKING A MENTAL
NOTE TO WEAR, TO GOOD USE.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU'VE
GOT A SOLID PLAN.

I HAD A DREAM LAST
NIGHT ABOUT US AND FRAN.

OH, WHAT WAS IT?

WELL, IT WAS IN THE FUTURE,
AND WE WERE ALL OLD:

YOU, ME, RORY, JACKSON,
MICHEL, EVERYONE,

GRAY HAIR, WALKING
AROUND WITH CANES,

AND WE'RE ALL KIND
OF AILING, YOU KNOW.

I HAD THOSE BIG
CATARACT GLASSES ON.

YOU WERE HARD OF HEARING.
YOU KEPT GOING, "HUH?"

OH, THAT'S ATTRACTIVE.

IT'S YOU KIDS WITH
YOUR ROCK 'N' ROLL.

BUT WHAT, HO! HERE WALKS
UP FRAN. AND GUESS WHAT?

SHE LOOKS EXACTLY
THE SAME, EVEN BETTER.

OH, THAT'S NOT FAIR.

THAT WOMAN IS
GONNA LIVE FOREVER.

NOT NECESSARILY.

HEY, DID YOU LOOK UP
ANGINA? I FORGOT TO.

YEAH, IT'S NOTHING MAJOR.

GUYS, STOP TALKING LIKE THIS.

LIKE WHAT?

WE LOVE FRAN,
REMEMBER? FRAN IS GREAT.

NO, HONEY, OF
COURSE WE LOVE FRAN.

WE JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT GOD'S
LITTLE PLAN IS FOR HER, THAT'S ALL.

I WOULD ADVISE AT
LEAST PRETENDING

TO LOOK BUSY. THE BOSS IS HERE.

MIA!

YOU'RE KIDDING. WHEN?

I JUST SPOTTED HER WALKING IN.

LET'S GO.

MIA!

OH! OH, MY BABIES!

OH!

DID WE KNOW YOU WERE COMING?

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS COMING.

THIS ISN'T A SURPRISE
INSPECTION, IS IT?

THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT THIS IS. READY?

YOU'RE TOO THIN, AS ALWAYS.

BUT WE EAT.

AND YOU'RE BOTH TOO BEAUTIFUL.

WE OFTEN FEEL
GUILTY MONOPOLIZING

THE AMOUNT OF BEAUTY WE POSSESS.

I DON'T SEE YOU ENOUGH, WHICH
IS MY FAULT, SO YOU BOTH PASS.

OH.

MICHEL. OH, HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.

AND LOOK AT THAT SUIT.

YOU ARE QUITE THE
DANDY, AREN'T YOU?

WELL, I HAD A FEELING
THAT A LOVELY WOMAN

WAS GOING TO BE VISITING TODAY

SO I DECIDED I MUST
LOOK MY BEST FOR HER.

I'M SORRY, HONEY. I DIDN'T
CATCH A WORD OF THAT.

HE SAID HE MISSED YOU.

YOU'VE BEEN IN THE U.S.
QUITE SOME TIME, MICHEL.

YOUR ENUNCIATION REALLY
SHOULD BE BETTER BY NOW.

THE CUSTOMERS SEEM TO
UNDERSTAND ME JUST FINE.

I DIDN'T GET THAT, EITHER.

DID YOU GET THE
TAPES I SENT YOU?

HEY, YOU SHOULD HIT THE DESK.

PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR HELP.

RIGHT AWAY. MIA, I...

SO ARE YOU TOO BUSY TO
SNEAK OUT WITH ME FOR A WALK?

IF IT'S OK WITH THE BOSS.

IT'S A DEMAND AT THIS POINT.

LET'S GO. MICHEL,
HOLD DOWN THE FORT.

OH, IT'S A LITTLE SLOW
NOW, SO IT'S NO PROBLEM.

OH, HE SAYS THAT HE'S NEVER LIKED
YOU AND THAT YOU'RE A PROBLEM.

I SAID NO SUCH THING!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS
HOSTILITY COMES FROM.

CAN WE WORK THIS OUT?

THERE IS NOTHING TO WORK OUT.

HE TOLD YOU TO GET OUT.

I DID NOT!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I
DID TO MAKE HIM HATE ME.

LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
EXACTLY THE SAME.

ACTUALLY, I MADE HIM
PAINT IT A FEW MONTHS AGO.

WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

MIA, HEY!

NICE TO SEE YOU, LUCAS.

YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON
THAT CAN CALL ME THAT, MIA.

I KNOW THIS.

I'M SAYING IT FOR OTHERS
WHO PLAN TO TRY IT LATER.

WHATEVER, LUCAS.

MIA, YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT TOASTERS?

NOT A DAMN THING.

WELL, THEN, SIT DOWN AND
LET ME GET YOU SOME COFFEE.

SO, MIA, HOW'S LIVING
IN SANTA BARBARA?

HORRIBLE. DID YOU KNOW

THE DAMN SUN SHINES
ALL THE TIME OUT THERE?

THEY'VE WRITTEN
SONGS ABOUT THAT.

NO ONE TOLD ME
THAT'S HOW IT WAS.

HALF MY WARDROBE IS OBSOLETE.

OH, DRAG. HEY, YOU KNOW
THAT VINTAGEY BLUE COAT?

YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT.

YOU'RE MAKIN' THAT WORSE.

BIG HELP. THANKS.

LUKE'S NEPHEW.

LUKE, THAT'S YOUR NEPHEW?

IT'S LIZ'S KID.

JESS, THIS IS MIA.

SHE OWNS THE INDEPENDENCE INN.

OH.

THAT'S, "HELLO, NICE TO
MEET YOU," IN SLACKER.

YOU DON'T NEED ME
DOWN HERE, DO YOU?

I'M SORRY, MIA. HE'S JUST...

OH, PLEASE, FORGET
IT. YOU WEREN'T EXACTLY

A TALKATIVE BOY YOURSELF
WHEN YOU WERE HIS AGE.

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU
KNEW LUKE AS A BOY.

I CAN'T IMAGINE LUKE AS A BOY.

CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT?

HE WOULD HELP PEOPLE
CARRY GROCERIES HOME.

HOW VERY BOY SCOUTY OF YOU.

FOR A QUARTER A BAG.

OH, HOW VERY JOHN
BIRCH SOCIETY OF YOU.

HE WAS NEVER WITHOUT
HIS SKATEBOARD FOR A TIME.

WERE YOU ANY GOOD?

I COULD HOLD MY OWN.

AND THERE WAS THAT YEAR YOU WORE
THE SAME SHIRT EVERYWHERE YOU WENT.

I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.

MUST HAVE BEEN
SOMETHING FLANNEL.

NO, IT WAS FROM THAT T.V.
SHOW, THAT FAMOUS ONE.

IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

STAR TREK. THAT'S IT.

OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD.

STOP IT.

YOU WERE A TREKKIE?

I WAS NOT A TREKKIE.

OH-OH, I DO BELIEVE
DENYING YOU WERE A TREKKIE

IS A VIOLATION OF
THE PRIME DIRECTIVE.

INDUBITABLY, CAPTAIN.

IT WAS A GIFT FROM MY AUNT.

I WORE IT TO MAKE HER HAPPY.

I'VE NEVER WANTED TO
MAKE ANY AUNT THAT HAPPY.

DID I SAY SOMETHING
I SHOULDN'T HAVE?

OH, NO, THAT'S OK, I JUST HAVE TO
CANCEL EVERYTHING I SCHEDULED

FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS,

'CAUSE I'LL STILL BE
LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.

LUKE, I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

WHAT IS IT, TAYLOR?

I HAVE CONDUCTED A THOROUGH
INVESTIGATION OF ALL THE PEOPLE

WHO MAY HAVE INADVERTENTLY
BEEN WITNESS TO THE PHONY MURDER

AT MY STORE LAST NIGHT.

THERE WAS A PHONY MURDER?

YEAH, THE TOWN'S TOO DULL
TO WORK UP A REAL MURDER.

YOU'RE ONE "BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY"

REFERENCE AWAY
FROM BEING THE VICTIM.

LUKE, ARE YOU GONNA LISTEN?

WHAT'S THIS GOT TO DO WITH ME?

3 PEOPLE HAVE
REPORTED SEEING JESS

IN THAT AREA LATE LAST
NIGHT, SKULKING, LURKING.

THERE WERE A LOT OF
PEOPLE OUT LAST NIGHT.

I KNOW 'CAUSE I FED THEM. I'LL GIVE YOU
THEIR NAMES TO ADD TO YOUR SUSPECT LIST.

ANOTHER PERSON
WITNESSED JESS WALKING OUT

OF AN ARTS-AND-CRAFTS
STORE 2 DAYS AGO

WITH WHAT APPEARED TO BE CHALK.

YOU APPEAR TO BE
BUGGING ME, TAYLOR.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT THE RESULTS
OF MY INVESTIGATION.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,
BUT THANKS FOR THE INFO.

YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
PEOPLE WANT ACTION.

PEOPLE? MEANING YOU.

NOT JUST ME.

I SPEAK FOR THE STARS
HOLLOW BUSINESS ASSOCIATION,

THE STARS HOLLOW TOURIST BOARD,

THE STARS HOLLOW NEIGHBORHOOD
WATCH ORGANIZATION,

AND THE STARS HOLLOW CITIZENS

FOR A CLEAN STARS
HOLLOW COUNCIL.

ALL OF WHICH ARE YOU.

SO ARE YOU GOING TO ACT?

YES, I'M GONNA ACT LIKE
YOU NEVER CAME IN HERE.

FINE, HAVE IT YOUR OWN WAY.

BUT I WARN YOU, THERE'S GONNA BE

A LOT OF UNHAPPY
PEOPLE AT THE S.H.B.A.,

THE S.H.T.B., THE S.H.M.W.O.,
AND THE S.H.C.C.H.S.C.

F-I-N-E!

OH, YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!
YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!

OH, HI, MIA.

NICE TO SEE YOU, TAYLOR.

AH, I'VE GOT TO GET
OUT OF SANTA BARBARA.

I MISS THE SMALL-TOWN THEATER.

AND I MISS YOU.

HEY, DO YOU REALIZE IT WAS 15
YEARS AGO, ALMOST TO THE DAY?

YES, IT WAS. WHAT WAS?

TO THE DAY WHEN THIS SKINNY LITTLE
TEENAGE GIRL SHOWED UP AT THE INN.

SHE HAD THIS TINY
LITTLE THING IN HER ARMS.

A LITTLE THING NAMED RORY.

OK, NO PHYSICAL RE-ENACTMENT.

YOU MARCHED UP TO ME, LOOKED
ME RIGHT IN THE EYE, AND SAID:

"I'M HERE FOR A JOB. ANY JOB."

WELL, I.B.M. HAD TURNED ME DOWN
FOR THE C.E.O. SLOT, SO I WAS DESPERATE.

WORK EXPERIENCE, NONE.

RECOMMENDATIONS, NONE. SKILLS...

BESIDES FLAWLESSLY APPLYING
MASCARA IN A MOVING CAR, NONE.

NOT ONE THING TO
RECOMMEND HIRING HER.

JUST THAT...

HOW... HOW DO I PUT
IT AND REMAIN A LADY?

THAT "WHO CARES?"
LOOK IN HER EYE.

SO I GAVE HER ANY JOB.

THE OTHER MAIDS HATED YOU.

WELL, THEY WERE SO SLOW.

YOU WERE SPECIAL.

MIA, WHY DON'T YOU MOVE
BACK HERE? WE MISS YOU.

OR AT LEAST VISIT MORE.
YOU NEVER COME AT ALL.

I DON'T HAVE TO. YOU'VE
MADE ME REDUNDANT.

I HAVE NOT.

DON'T BE HUMBLE.

THE INN IS BEYOND COVERED.

IT'S NEVER RUN THIS WELL
OR BEEN THIS SUCCESSFUL.

THAT INN IS LIKE YOUR PLACE NOW.

WITHOUT YOU, I WOULDN'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO. I'D BE LOST.

LOST, YEAH.

YEAH.

YOU LOOK SAD NOW. WHY?

OH, NOTHING.

IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT, I HADN'T
THOUGHT ABOUT TELLING MIA.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.

I FEEL TERRIBLE.

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER BEFORE.

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER THE
DAY THE IDEA OCCURRED TO US.

SHE DESERVED THAT.

AFTER ALL SHE'S DONE FOR ME.

HELLO?

LORELAI, YOUR DAUGHTER'S
BEING IMPOSSIBLE.

SHE WON'T POSE IN AN
APPROPRIATE MANNER.

I'M TRYING TO, GRANDMA.
IT'S JUST AWKWARD.

LET ME GUESS HOW
YOU'RE POSING HER.

SHE'S IN A SILLY
GOWN, ON A SILLY CHAIR

WITH BOTH OF HER HANDS
RAISED IN SOME SILLY WAY.

JUST THE ONE HAND IS
RAISED, AND NONE OF IT'S SILLY.

PICK A SIMPLER POSE, MA.

THIS IS THE SIMPLEST,
AND IT WASN'T MY CHOICE.

AND YOUR CHOICE IS?

I WANTED THE SWAN TO SIT
REGALLY ASIDE RORY'S THRONE.

SWAN? THRONE?

OH, NOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH SWANS AND THRONES.

BECAUSE SWANS AND THRONES
SCREAM ONE THING, MOM:

SIEGFRIED AND ROY.

WHO?

MAKE A CHANGE, MOM.

I SUPPOSE YOU'D JUST HAVE HER
SITTING IN A CHAIR, READING A BOOK.

NOW, THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

OH, BE SERIOUS.

I AM!

THAT'S A COMPLETELY
NATURAL POSE FOR RORY.

AND A PAINTING OF HER READING
THAT'S GONNA BE HUNG IN DAD'S STUDY

SEEMS JUST CRAZY ENOUGH TO WORK.

WELL,

MAYBE IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD IDEA.

GIVE IT A TRY, AND LET
HER LOWER HER ARM.

RORY, YOU CAN LOWER YOUR ARM.

THANKS.

I THINK HE'S JUST HUNGRY.

WE'RE GOING TO LOSE THE SWAN!

GOOD GOING, MOM. BYE.

SO, HOW DO I DO THIS?

HOW... HOW DO I TELL
MIA THAT I'M LEAVING?

GET HER DRUNK FIRST?

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I-I'M GONNA
LET DOWN THE ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE

WHO WAS THERE FOR ME WHEN I
NEEDED IT THE MOST. I'M GREAT, AREN'T I?

I WANTED TO PUT IT
ON THE FRONT DESK,

BUT I THINK IT MIGHT
BE A TAD SHORT.

WE COULD GET A
CARPENTER TO BUILD UP

A BASE AND RAISE IT UP 2 INCHES

AND THEN IT WOULD BE PERFECT.

GREAT IDEA.

HEY, I GOT THAT, EVERY WORD!

YES!

OH, I'M SO PROUD.

SO, YOU GONNA TELL
HER NOW OR LATER?

LATER, BECAUSE SHE'S SO HAPPY

THAT SHE CAN FINALLY
UNDERSTAND MICHEL

AND THAT THE
LAMP IS FIXED AND...

AND THAT, TOO.

WE'RE LATE.

WE'RE NOT LATE.

LAST TIME, TAYLOR SAID THERE
WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES.

NO, HE SAID THERE WOULD
BE SEVERE CONSEQUENCES.

MIA, WHAT TIME IS
IT? ARE WE LATE?

I HOPE SO. MIA?

I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS

SINCE I'VE BEEN
TO A TOWN MEETING

AND I WANT SOME CONTROVERSY.

AHA!

JEEZ! DON'T SNEAK
UP ON ME LIKE THAT.

YEAH, BOY, I WAS LUCKY YOU
HAD YOUR PHASERS ON STUN.

AT LEAST WE'RE NOT
LATE. LUKE'S NEVER LATE.

ACTUALLY, WE'RE 2 MINUTES EARLY.

WE SHOULD GET A
PRIZE FOR BEING ON TIME.

HEY, LUKE, LET'S GO
BACK TO THE DINER

AND GET SOME PIE AS OUR
REWARD FOR BEING ON TIME.

THEN YOU'D BE LATE.

A FUNNY CONUNDRUM,
BUT I WANT PIE.

YOU'RE HARASSING ME NOW.

I'M NOT HARASSING YOU.
WE'RE YOUR GROUPIES.

"OH, LUKE, YOU'RE SO
DREAMY. BE MY GUY."

"NO, BE MY GUY."

I'M BRINGING UP THE NEED
FOR MORE POLICE PROTECTION.

I THINK WE'RE LATE.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

UH, NOTHING.

MEETING WAS SUPPOSED
TO START AT 8:00.

IT'S A MINUTE TO 8:00.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
BE HONEST WITH HIM.

BE HONEST WITH HIM ABOUT WHAT?

WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW,
THERE WAS A SPECIAL ISSUE

THAT THE BUSINESS COMMUNITY
HAD TO DEAL WITH FIRST,

SO WE DECIDED TO
START EARLY TONIGHT.

I'M IN THE BUSINESS COMMUNITY,
AND I WASN'T TOLD ABOUT IT.

TAYLOR?

ALL RIGHT, FINE! YOU
WEREN'T INVITED, LUKE.

AND WHY IS THAT?

CONTROVERSY.

YOU WEREN'T INVITED BECAUSE WE
ARE DEALING WITH THE JESS SITUATION.

THE JESS SITUATION?

IF THIS WAS THE WILD WEST, WE'D BE
PUSHING THE HORSE ASIDE AND DIVING

INTO THE WATER TROUGH ABOUT NOW.

DAMN IT, TAYLOR!

LUKE, HONEY, CALM DOWN.

AFTER ALL, THIS
IS ALL YOUR DOING.

IF YOU HADN'T SO CAVALIERLY
DISMISSED THE ISSUE,

WE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DO THIS.

I LOST BUSINESS BECAUSE OF
WHAT YOUR HOOLIGAN NEPHEW DID.

HOW WAS BUSINESS LOST, TAYLOR?

IF YOU OPENED LATE THAT DAY, YOUR
CUSTOMERS JUST CAME BACK LATER.

NOT SO. WHEN MRS.
LANAHAN COULDN'T BUY

HER HEAD OF LETTUCE THAT
MORNING FOR HER LUNCH,

SHE DROVE STRAIGHT TO WOODBURY

TO BUY LETTUCE FROM
A COMPETING MARKET.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MRS. LANAHAN?

MRS. LANAHAN?

YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T
BE DRIVING ANYMORE.

WORD HAS IT THAT SHE WAS TELLING
OTHER DOOSE'S MARKET SHOPPERS

THAT WOODBURY
LETTUCE IS CRISPER.

THAT'S BUSINESS
FLYING OUT THE DOOR.

OK, FINE. HOW MUCH IS A
HEAD OF LETTUCE? A BUCK?

LET'S GO CRAZY. GIVE ME 5 HEADS.

THIS GOES WELL BEYOND A
HEAD OF LETTUCE, YOUNG MAN.

THE CHARGES AGAINST
YOUR NEPHEW ARE NUMEROUS.

HE STOLE "SAVE
THE BRIDGE" MONEY.

HE GAVE THAT BACK.

STOLE A GNOME FROM
BABETTE'S GARDEN.

PIERPONT WAS ALSO RETURNED.

HE HOOTED AT ONE
OF MY DANCE CLASSES.

HE TOOK A GARDEN
HOSE FROM MY YARD.

MY SON SAID HE SET OFF THE
FIRE ALARMS AT SCHOOL LAST WEEK.

I HEARD HE CONTROLS THE WEATHER

AND WROTE THE
SCREENPLAY TO GLITTER!

I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR ME TO PIPE IN.

OH, YEAH, THAT'LL BE GOOD.

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO PIPE IN HERE,
LUKE. I'M A LOCAL ENTREPRENEUR.

YOU TOOK OVER YOUR
FATHER'S NEWSSTAND.

IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU
AN ENTREPRENEUR.

YOU TOOK OVER YOUR OLD
MAN'S HARDWARE STORE.

AND TURNED IT INTO A DINER.

BIG WHOOP! WHO CAN'T FRY AN EGG?

LET'S KEEP THINGS
MOVING HERE, BOYS.

I NEVER LIKED THE LOOK OF THAT
KID FROM THE SECOND I SAW HIM.

UNBELIEVABLE!

EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT THE FLOOR.

YOU DON'T HAVE THE FLOOR.

I'M STANDING, AREN'T I?

WELL, I WAS STANDING FIRST,
WHICH MEANS I HAVE THE FLOOR

AND I'M NOT GIVIN' IT TO YOU.

WHAT IS WITH YOU TWO?

THIS GOES WAY BEYOND
THE JESS MATTER, TAYLOR.

LUKE'S BEEN ON MY CASE SINCE THE FIRST
GRADE, WHEN HE WRONGFULLY ACCUSED ME

OF SABOTAGING A CLAY IMPRINT
THAT HE MADE OF HIS HAND.

THINK HARD. WAS HE
DRESSED LIKE SULU?

NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE
STUPID CLAY HAND, BOOTSY!

AND YOU STOMPED ON IT WHILE
IT WAS DRYING. 3 KIDS SAW YOU!

NO, I DIDN'T. YES, YOU DID!

NO, I DIDN'T.

BOYS, PLEASE!

THE BOTTOM LINE HERE IS THAT THERE
IS A CONSENSUS AMONG TOWNSPEOPLE

WHO ARE IN AGREEMENT
THAT STARS HOLLOW

WAS A BETTER PLACE
BEFORE JESS GOT HERE.

SO THIS HALF OF THE ROOM GETS THE
TAR, THE OTHER HALF GETS THE FEATHERS?

WELL, THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY TALK
OF TAR AND FEATHERS, ALTHOUGH...

LOOK, I'VE LIVED IN THIS
TOWN MY ENTIRE LIFE,

LONGER THAN MOST EVERYBODY HERE.

BEG TO DIFFER. I'M 5
WEEKS OLDER THAN YOU.

THAT MEANS I'VE BEEN
HERE 5 WEEKS LONGER.

I'VE NEVER BOTHERED
ANYONE, I'VE KEPT TO MYSELF,

AND I'VE DONE THE BEST I COULD.

I PAY MY TAXES, AND I
HELP PEOPLE WHEN I CAN.

I HAVEN'T PITCHED IN ON THE
DECORATIVE, PAGEANTRY TOWN STUFF

BECAUSE IT ALL
SEEMS INSANE TO ME,

BUT I DON'T GET IN THE
WAY OF THAT, EITHER!

WHAT'S YOUR POINT, LUKE?

HIS POINT IS... DO YOU MIND?

BE MY GUEST.

HIS POINT IS, IF
THERE'S A PROBLEM...

AND I'M NOT SAYING
THERE'S A PROBLEM.

RIGHT. BUT IF THERE IS,
GIVE HIM TIME TO DEAL WITH IT

BEFORE YOU STORM HIS DINER
WITH TORCHES AND PITCH BOARDS.

RIGHT, WHAT I'M DEALING WITH,

BEING A PROBLEM THAT I
DON'T NECESSARILY AGREE

THAT I EVEN HAVE!

RIGHT.

I DIDN'T GET THAT LAST PART.

LAY OFF HIM, BECAUSE WHAT
YOU'RE ALL DOING STINKS.

I'M DONE HERE. I'M
DONE WITH ALL OF YOU.

I WAS GONNA STAY OPEN LATER

IN CASE ANYONE WANTED
TO EAT AFTER THE MEETING.

FORGET THAT.

HIS TURKEY BURGERS ARE VERY DRY.

WELL, I MUST SAY, THAT
WAS QUITE EXCITING.

A LITTLE DISTURBING.

I THINK THE WHOLE
TOWN NEEDS A FIELD TRIP.

YOU THINK LUKE'S OK?

I THINK HE WILL BE. JUST
NEEDS TO COOL OFF A LITTLE.

I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON DEAN.

HE'S BEEN SCRAPING THE OUTLINE
OFF THE CEMENT FOR 2 DAYS.

GOOD IDEA. THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE YOUR FACE ON HIS

TO MAKE THE CLEANING
PROCESS GO FASTER.

SHE'S ALL YOURS, MIA.

I'LL TAKE HER.

BYE, HON.

OH, I AM JUST HAVING THE
MOST WONDERFUL TIME.

AND I AM SO PROUD
OF YOU AND RORY.

YOU BOTH HAVE JUST COME SO FAR.

YEAH, WE HAVE.

UM, MIA,

I NEED TO TALK TO
YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

OF COURSE. WHAT IS IT, HONEY?

WELL, UM,

IT'S REALLY HARD, AND I SHOULD
HAVE BROUGHT IT UP AGES AGO,

BUT SOOKIE AND I ARE
THINKING OF MAKING A CHANGE.

A CHANGE?

WE'RE GOING TO OPEN OUR OWN INN.

OH!

I MEAN, WE'VE TALKED
ABOUT IT FOR A LONG TIME,

AND IT SEEMS LIKE
THE TIME IS RIGHT.

OH, MIA, I LOVE THE INDEPENDENCE
INN, AND SOOKIE LOVES IT, TOO.

AND WE BOTH LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

I KNOW.

BUT IT JUST FEELS LIKE
SOMETHING WE NEED TO DO.

YOU HATE ME.

NO, I DON'T.

I'M LETTING YOU DOWN.

I'M WALKING OUT.
BEING UNGRATEFUL.

LORELAI, STOP.

DO YOU THINK I WAS
NAIVE ENOUGH TO THINK

THAT YOU'D WORK FOR ME FOREVER?

YOU AND SOOKIE HAVE MORE
TALENT FOR THIS BUSINESS THAN I DO,

AND I'M VERY GOOD.

YOU'RE GOING TO OPEN
AN INCREDIBLE PLACE.

AND IF YOU DON'T LET ME HELP YOU

IN ANY WAY I CAN,
THEN I'LL BE VERY MAD.

OF COURSE WE NEED YOUR HELP.

WE'D BE LOST WITHOUT YOUR HELP.

GOOD. I WAS JUST WONDERING, WHAT'S
THE TIME FRAME FOR THIS BIG MOVE?

WE'RE WAITING FOR THIS
PERFECT LOCATION TO FREE UP.

THAT'S ALL THAT'S DELAYING US.

BUT I PROMISE YOU'LL
HAVE PLENTY OF NOTICE

AND I'LL BE THERE TO FIND
REPLACEMENTS AND TRAIN THEM.

OH, YES, THAT'S VERY SWEET
OF YOU, BUT I'M WONDERING

IF YOU COULD MAKE IT
SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.

WHAT?

YOU SEE, YOUR LEAVING GIVES ME THE
PERFECT EXCUSE TO FINALLY SELL THE PLACE.

SELL THE PLACE?

OH, I GET OFFERS ALL
THE TIME, LUCRATIVE ONES,

BUT I NEVER EVEN
CONSIDERED IT BECAUSE...

OF COURSE I LOVE THE INN, BUT I
JUST COULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE THIS
BIG CHANGE COMING UP IN YOUR LIFE,

IT MIGHT BE TIME
FOR ONE IN MINE.

OH!

GOOD. UH, GOOD.

THEN IT ALL WORKS OUT GOOD.

ACTUALLY, IT'S VERY GOOD.

OK. WELL, GOOD.

♪ NOTHIN' IS FOR SURE ♪

♪ NO ♪

♪ AS I BEGAN MY DAY ♪

HEY. HEY.

SO, I'M WORKING ON THE MENU
FOR THE DUNCAN WEDDING.

I CAN'T READ THAT.

I KNOW.

I HAD IT ALL TYPED UP NEAT TO BEGIN
WITH, BUT ON THE DRIVE INTO WORK,

I GOT AN INSPIRATION.

I STARTED WRITING
IN THE NEW STUFF.

AND IT AIN'T EASY
WRITING AND DRIVING.

I CAN'T READ THAT.
WHAT IS THAT? CUMIN?

SOOKIE, I CAN'T
READ THAT, EITHER.

OH, I'LL JUST GET YOU A NEW ONE.

HEY, HOW DID YOUR
TALK WITH MIA GO?

FINE. GOOD. SHE TOOK IT LIKE
YOU SAID SHE WOULD: CLASSY.

SHE IS CLASSY. GOOD,
GOOD. THAT'S A RELIEF.

IT'S A RELIEF, RIGHT? YOU
SAID SHE TOOK IT GOOD?

YES, SHE DID.

BUT YOU LOOK UPSET.

SHE'S GONNA SELL THE INN.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

SHE SAYS GETS OFFERS,

AND SHE THINKS THIS MIGHT BE A
KIND OF FORTUITOUS TIMING FOR HER.

WELL, GREAT. SO, EVERYBODY WINS.

THAT'S GOOD. LOOK HAPPY.

OK, THIS DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW SHE CAN DO THIS.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

THE BIG DEAL IS SHE'S NOT
GONNA SELL IT TO ANOTHER MIA.

IT'S GONNA BE A BIG CHAIN,
THEY'LL COME MARCHING IN

WITH THEIR BUSINESS MODELS, AND THEIR
CORPORATE APPROVED ARCHITECTS AND DESIGNERS,

CHANGE EVERYTHING, AND REMODEL,

THE PLACE WILL LOSE ALL
ITS PERSONALITY AND CHARM.

WELL, I HOPE THEY DON'T, BUT, HEY,
OUR PLACE IS GONNA BE FULL OF CHARM.

YOU DON'T CARE WHAT
HAPPENS TO THIS PLACE?

OF COURSE I DO.
BUT IT'S NOT UP TO ME.

I CAN'T CONTROL THAT.

THE ONLY THING WE CAN CONTROL
IS WHAT OUR INN'S GONNA BE LIKE.

I GUESS.

YOU GUESS WHAT? WE'LL SEE.

WE'LL SEE WHAT?

IT'S SHORTSIGHTED TO
WRITE OFF THIS PLACE

WHEN WE HAVEN'T
EVEN BOUGHT FRAN'S YET.

AND, HEY, WE DON'T
KNOW IF WE WILL.

WE DON'T? WHY WOULDN'T WE?

LORELAI?

IS THIS ABOUT FRAN'S
LIFE EXPECTANCY...

NO, SOOKIE, IT'S ABOUT THE FACT

THAT WE HAVEN'T EVEN
LOOKED AT ANY OTHER PLACES.

AND WE DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S
NECESSARILY THE RIGHT ONE.

AND WE HAVE TO BE VERY
PRACTICAL ABOUT THIS.

BUT IT'S THE PERFECT LOCATION.

WE ALL SAID SO.

YOU CAN'T GET
EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED

TO ANY OF OUR
DECISIONS ABOUT THE INN.

THIS IS BUSINESS. YOU'VE
GOT TO STAY DETACHED.

BUT WE'RE ALL SO NOT DETACHED.

OK, DO YOU HAVE
ANOTHER LOCATION IN MIND?

NOT REALLY.

YOU WANNA LOOK
FOR A NEW LOCATION?

YEAH, LIKE I HAVE ALL THIS TIME

TO GO LOOKING FOR
OTHER LOCATIONS.

I DON'T KNOW. SHOULD
WE TRY TO BUY THIS PLACE?

THIS PLACE IS 5 TIMES
WHAT WE CAN AFFORD.

SO WHAT DO WE DO?

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S
ON HOLD, I GUESS.

IT'S BEEN ON HOLD FOR YEARS.

WE WERE MOVING FORWARD.

YES, WELL, I'M LOOKING AT
THE ECONOMY RIGHT NOW

AND I DON'T KNOW
IF THE TIMING'S GOOD.

OK, THAT'S NOT FAIR BECAUSE I DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE ECONOMY.

OH, GOOD THING YOU HOOKED UP WITH
ME, BECAUSE IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD.

OK, WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED?

WE HAD A VISION, WE HAD A PLAN.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GOT
THIS WHOLE BALL ROLLING AGAIN

AND I... I JUMP ON THE BALL, WE'RE
ROLLING ON THE BALL TOGETHER,

THEN YOU HOPPED OFF THE
BALL, AND I'M STILL ON THE BALL!

AND I'M CONFUSED, BECAUSE
I SEE IT, AND I SEE OUR VISION.

AND YOU SAW IT,
TOO, UP UNTIL TODAY.

WELL, I KNOW YOU WOULD LIKE THINGS
TO BE SIMPLE AND STRAIGHTFORWARD,

BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THINGS
ARE MORE COMPLICATED.

THAT'S WHY WE'D BE PARTNERS. IF
SOMETHING GETS TOO HEAVY FOR ONE PERSON,

THE OTHER ONE'S THERE
TO PICK UP THE SLACK.

YES, WELL, THAT'S GREAT IN
THEORY, BUT I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU

MY BACK IS ACHING FROM ALL
THE EXTRA SLACK I'M TAKING UP.

WHAT DID I DO THAT'S SO WRONG?

LET'S NOT GET INTO THIS STUFF!

NO, GET INTO IT!

WELL, YOU'RE NOT THE MOST
RELIABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD.

OR THE MOST PUNCTUAL.

YOU'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT.

YES, BUT NOW GETTING INTO
BUSINESS, IT'S NOT SO CUTE.

IT COULD HURT US.

YOU WERE LATE FOR
THE FRAN MEETING.

YOU'RE CONSTANTLY
CHANGING MENUS,

EVEN AFTER YOU'VE
STARTED MAKING IT.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

BEFORE, IT WAS KUDOS TO ME
FOR MY ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

I WAS "THE MAESTRO."

THAT'S FINE FOR AN ESTABLISHED
PLACE LIKE THE INDEPENDENCE,

BUT YOU DO THAT AT OUR
PLACE, IT COULD WIPE US OUT.

PROFIT MARGINS IN A NEW
BUSINESS ARE SLIM, SOOKIE.

JUST STOP! JUST STOP! NOW
YOU'RE TALKING DOWN TO ME.

I'M NOT TALKING DOWN TO
YOU. I'M TRYING TO EXPLAIN.

YES, YOU ARE AND I
DON'T KNOW WHY YOU ARE,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO START
CRYING IN FRONT OF YOU

BECAUSE IT'LL GIVE YOU ONE
MORE THING TO POINT AT TO SAY,

"SHE'S TOO EMOTIONAL AND
WEAK TO GO INTO BUSINESS WITH."

SO I'M LEAVING.

AND I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW,
IF I CAN REMEMBER TO SHOW UP.

HEY, I'VE GOT TO
DROP BY THE MARKET.

BUT IT'S YOUR DAY OFF.

IT'S TO GET MY PAYCHECK.

IF I DON'T GET IT BY 4:00,
TAYLOR LOCKS IT IN A SAFE.

IT'S ON SOME KIND OF TIMER.

WHEN I COMPLAIN, HE LECTURES ME

ON PROMPTLY PUTTING
CHECKS IN THE BANK

AND THE THEORIES OF COMPOUND
INTEREST, AND MY HEAD HURTS

FROM ALL THE NODDING I DO,
EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LISTEN...

GO, GO.

I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.

SHOULD YOU BE
STANDING HERE ALL ALONE?

I HEAR THIS IS A PRETTY
DANGEROUS CORNER.

I'M FINE.

FEELING SUCCINCT TODAY?

PRETTY MUCH.

DID I DO SOMETHING TO OFFEND?

ME? YEAH.

NO. GOOD.

ASK THAT SAME QUESTION TO LUKE.

MEANING?

YOU'VE GOT THIS WHOLE
TOWN DOWN ON HIM.

REALLY? HOW DID I DO THAT?

YOU KNOW HOW YOU DID THAT.

I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE
BLUE-BOOK LAWS IN THIS TOWN,

YOU COULD BE TALKING
ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS.

DROPPING A GUM WRAPPER,
STROLLING ARM IN ARM

WITH A MEMBER OF THE
OPPOSITE SEX ON A SUNDAY.

AH!

WHAT ABOUT IT?

YOU DID IT. THE WHOLE
TOWN KNOWS YOU DID IT.

THEY HAD A MEETING ABOUT IT.

YOU ACTUALLY WENT TO
THAT BIZARRE TOWN MEETING?

THOSE THINGS ARE SO
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD.

YES, I WENT, AND LUKE WENT.

WHEN HE GOT THERE,
EVERYONE GANGED UP ON HIM.

THEY ALL WANT YOU GONE.

WOW, BUMMER.

AND HE'S STANDING THERE YELLING
AT EVERYONE AND DEFENDING YOU

AND PAYING TAYLOR BACK
FOR HIS LETTUCE LOSSES.

HIS WHAT?

AND NOW LUKE'S A PARIAH,
AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

WHAT A SHOCK. YOU DON'T
CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

GO. I'M TIRED OF TALKING TO YOU.

FINE.

YOU CARE NOTHING ABOUT
LUKE AND HIS FEELINGS!

YOU GOT A SECOND WIND, HUH?

ALL HE DOES IS STICK UP FOR YOU,

AND ALL YOU DO IS
MAKE HIS LIFE HARDER!

I GUESS THAT'S WHAT YOU
HAVE TO DO WHEN YOU'RE TRYING

TO BE HOLDEN CAULFIELD,
BUT I THINK IT STINKS.

LUKE HAS DONE A LOT FOR
MY MOM AND A LOT FOR ME,

AND I DON'T LIKE TO
SEE HIM ATTACKED.

OK, SECOND WIND OVER.

DIDN'T KNOW THEY
WERE HARD ON HIM.

I NEVER PEGGED YOU AS CLUELESS.

MY MISTAKE.

OK, I GET IT.

I KNOW, I KNOW. I DO, I GET IT.

DON'T YOU AT LEAST
THINK IT WAS FUNNY?

THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT.

YEAH, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.

I GOT IT.

OH, UH, HEY!

UH, DEAN, I DON'T THINK
YOU TWO HAVE MET.

THIS IS JESS. THIS IS DEAN.

BOYFRIEND?

OF COURSE.

SORRY. YOU DIDN'T SAY.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

GOOD, GOOD.

OK, SEE YOU AROUND.

SEEMS TO TURN OUT
THAT WAY, DOESN'T IT?

IS GRANDPA STILL IN AKRON?

WELL, FOR AKRON'S SAKE, I
HOPE HE'S MOVED ON TO BOISE.

HI, WE'RE THE DAUGHTER
AND THE GRANDDAUGHTER.

YOU ARE MAJORLY CRABBY.

I JUST HAVE A HEADACHE.

OH, GOOD! COME, COME, COME.

IT'S ALL DONE, AND IT'S GREAT.

TA-DA!

WHOA!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S FREAKY.

FREAKY?

JUST SEEING ME HERE, UP ON
THE WALL LIKE THAT. IT'S, UH...

I LIKE IT, THOUGH.
IT'S GOOD, I GUESS.

I SHOULD TAKE MYSELF OUT
OF THE JUDGING PROCESS.

I THINK RICHARD'S
JUST GONNA LOVE IT.

IT'S A PERFECT THING.
DON'T YOU THINK? MMM-HMM.

IT TURNED OUT BETTER
THAN YOU THOUGHT.

YEAH.

WELL, COME ON. SAY A
LITTLE MORE THAN THAT.

IT'S GREAT, MOM. IT'S FABULOUS.

IT'S JUST A NOTCH
BELOW REMBRANDT.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TAKE THAT ATTITUDE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

I'D LIGHT SOME SPARKLERS AND
JUMP UP AND DOWN, YELLING "YAY,"

BUT I'M OUT OF SPARKLERS, AND
MY FEET HURT TOO MUCH TO JUMP.

BUT I PROMISE NEXT WEEK,
WHEN I HAVE MORE ENERGY,

I'LL WRITE A LOVE SONG
FOR THE CHANDELIER!

MOM.

HEY, HOW DARE YOU
WALK AWAY FROM ME

WHEN I'M BEING A
WORLD-CLASS JERK TO YOU?

THE... THE PAINTING'S
GREAT, MOM, REALLY.

THANK YOU.

I REALLY LIKE IT.

IT'S SO NATURAL THAT SHE'S
READING, WHICH IS GREAT.

AND SHE'S NOT SITTING NEXT TO
A GOOSE, OR A GIANT TORTOISE,

WHICH IS GOOD, AND
DAD IS GONNA LOVE IT.

IT'S A GOOD THING YOU DID HERE.

YOU CAN BE SO HARSH SOMETIMES,

AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE IT COMES
FROM, OR WHAT I'VE DONE TO DESERVE IT.

YOU DID NOTHING.

WELL, I MUST HAVE
DONE SOMETHING.

OH, I'VE BEEN... IT'S
JUST BEEN A BAD WEEK.

SOOKIE AND I WERE MOVING
FORWARD WITH PLANS TO OPEN OUR INN,

AND WE HAD A HUGE FIGHT.

WE'VE NEVER HAD A HUGE
FIGHT, LET ALONE A FIGHT.

AWFUL THINGS WERE SAID.

AND... AND IT ALL STARTED
WHEN MIA SHOWED UP FOR A VISIT

AND I TOLD HER ABOUT OUR PLANS.

AND SHE'S TALKING ABOUT
SELLING THE INDEPENDENCE INN,

AND IT JUST WIGGED
ME OUT A LITTLE.

IT'S STUPID. I DON'T KNOW.

BUT IT WAS OUR HOME FOR
SO LONG, MINE AND RORY'S.

IT'S JUST WEIRD TO THINK
THAT IT WOULDN'T BE THERE,

AND MIA WOULDN'T BE THERE,
AND I WOULDN'T BE THERE.

AND I JUST GOT VERY UPSET.

ANYWAY, I'M RAMBLING.

THE PAINTING IS REALLY GREAT.

WILL YOU ACCEPT MY APOLOGY?

YES, YES, I WILL. I'VE
HAD BAD DAYS, TOO.

THANK YOU.

WELL, WE SHOULD
GET BACK TO RORY.

OK, I'M PRETTY MUCH DONE.

THANKS FOR DOING THIS.

I DIDN'T WANT THE RAIN TO
DESTROY YOUR BEAUTIFUL CHUPPAH.

I LOOKED AND LOOKED
IN THE YELLOW PAGES,

AND I DIDN'T SEE A CHUPPAH
WATERPROOFER LISTING ANYWHERE.

HOW ABOUT
CHUPPAH-GOAT-FIGURE REPAIRMAN?

GILBERT. WHAT?

WE NAMED THE GOAT GILBERT.

HE'S HEADLESS. CAN YOU FIX HIM?

YEAH, I GOT SOME
GLUE HERE. I CAN FIX HIM.

GOOD. I'LL MAKE SOME TEA.

SO, SOOKIE STOPPED AT
THE DINER THIS MORNING.

I ASKED HER HOW YOUR PLANS
WERE GOING AT THE NEW INN.

SHE VERY AWKWARDLY CHANGED
THE SUBJECT TO WOMEN'S BASKETBALL.

SHE'S NEVER SHOWN MUCH
INTEREST IN SPORTS BEFORE.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT?

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, WOMEN'S
BASKETBALL IS GETTING SUPER POPULAR.

THAT'S GOOD, I THINK.

THE TALL GIRLS NEED AN OUTLET.

WE HAD A FIGHT. A
BIG, HUMONGOUS FIGHT.

SHE'S NEVER GONNA
SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I JUST FLAT-OUT PANICKED ABOUT THE
ENORMITY OF WHAT WE WERE GETTING INTO

AND IT CLOBBERED ME, AND I
CLOBBERED SOOKIE. I'M SUCH A JERK.

HEY, IF I CRY, WILL
IT FREAK YOU OUT?

TOTALLY.

IF I WHIMPER?

HOW ABOUT YOU SUCK IT UP?

I'LL TRY.

I DON'T GET IT. YOU'RE AS
READY AS YOU'VE EVER BEEN.

OH, LUKE.

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE COMPLETE
AND TOTAL LACK OF CONFIDENCE

I HAVE IN MY ABILITIES.

WHAT? YOU'RE THE MOST CONFIDENT
PERSON I KNOW, OBNOXIOUSLY SO.

THANK YOU.

I MEAN IN A GOOD WAY.

YOU'RE GOOD AT WHAT
YOU DO AND YOU KNOW IT.

NO, NO, NO, I'M GOOD AT
DOING WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

WHEN... WHEN I HAD
TO GET A JOB, I GOT IT.

WHEN I HAD TO FIND A HOUSE
FOR US AND A LIFE FOR US, I GOT IT.

WHEN I HAD TO GET RORY
INTO CHILTON, I DID IT.

BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE
THE INDEPENDENCE INN.

I DON'T HAVE TO GO INTO
BUSINESS FOR MYSELF.

I DON'T HAVE TO WALK
OUT ON THAT LIMB

AND RISK EVERYTHING
I'VE WORKED FOR.

DON'T DO IT.

WHAT?

JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE.

WHAT IS THIS,
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY?

NO, JUST... JUST STAY AT
THE INN. YOU'RE HAPPY THERE.

OH, SO YOU THINK
I CAN'T HACK IT?

OF COURSE YOU CAN HACK IT.

GREAT, LIP SERVICE.
THAT'S WHAT I NEED.

HEY, IF I START TO CRY,
WILL THAT FREAK YOU OUT?

OH, I COULDN'T STAY
WHERE I AM IF I WANTED.

MIA IS SELLING THE INN

AND THAT HIT ME HARD, TOO, MAYBE
HARDER THAN THE OTHER THING.

I'M GONNA BE WITHOUT A HOME.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THIS IS YOUR HOME.

NO, I MEAN A HOME-HOME,
A MEMORY HOME.

THE INN IS WHERE RORY
TOOK HER FIRST STEP.

IT'S WHERE I TOOK MY FIRST STEP.

IT'S MORE OF A HOME TO ME THAN
MY PARENTS' HOUSE EVER WAS.

YOU'RE JUST SCARED,
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE

WHEN THEY'RE TAKIN'
ON SOMETHIN' BIG.

WHAT DOES EVERYBODY DO
TO GET THROUGH THIS FEELING?

THEY RUN IN THE BACK,
THROW UP, PASS OUT,

THEN SMACK THEIR
HEAD ON THE FLOOR.

I DID THAT ON THE MORNING
I OPENED THE DINER.

THERE IS NO BUTTON TO PUSH
TO GET YOU THROUGH THIS.

YOU'VE JUST GOT TO
JUMP IN AND BE SCARED

AND STICK WITH IT
UNTIL IT GETS FUN.

HOW LONG TILL THE DINER GOT FUN?

ABOUT A YEAR.

AND THERE'S NO BUTTON? NO.

CAN I PULL A LEVER? NO.

TURN A KNOB? NO.

YOU JUST JUMP?

YOU JUST JUMP.

I WANT TO DO IT.

YOU SHOULD DO IT.

CHECK IT OUT.

GILBERT, YOU'RE NOT
WORSE FOR THE WEAR.

I'LL REATTACH HIM.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN, ANYWAY?

OH, SOMETHING MUST'VE
SMACKED INTO IT WITH A HEDGER.

WELL, NOW NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

OH, AND, UH, WOMEN'S
BASKETBALL IS IN SEASON.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO RUN
THAT NEWS PAST SOOKIE.

MAYBE YOU CAN GO TO
A GAME OR SOMETHING.

YEAH, OR SOMETHING. THANKS.

HI.

HI.

MMM.

MEATLOAF, MASHED POTATOES,
STUFFING: COMFORT FOOD, HUH?

IT WOULD BE GOOD WITH
THE WEATHER CHANGING.

BUT IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S
RIGHT, I CAN MAKE SOMETHING ELSE.

ALTHOUGH I'M ON-SCHEDULE
AND ON-BUDGET,

SO A CHANGE WOULD KINDA
THROW THINGS OFF. YOUR CALL.

NO, NO, EVERYTHING LOOKS GREAT.

HEY, SOOKIE.

YEAH?

I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

I SAID STUPID THINGS, AND
I SAID THEM FOR REASONS

THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH
YOU, I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING IT

AND I KNOW YOU DO,
TOO, AND I AM SORRY.

IT'S OK.

NO, IT ISN'T.

YOU ARE A BRILLIANT CHEF AND TO THINK
THAT YOU SHOULD DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY

FROM HOW YOU DO
THEM NOW IS RIDICULOUS.

YOU DON'T TELL A GREAT VIOLINIST
TO HOLD HIS BOW DIFFERENTLY.

YOU DON'T TELL A
GREAT CYMBAL PLAYER

TO CRASH HIS CYMBALS
DIFFERENTLY. YOU JUST LET THEM PLAY.

THERE ARE GREAT CYMBAL PLAYERS?

THEORETICALLY.

OK, WELL, IT'S OK.

I WANT TO GO AHEAD
WITH OUR PLANS.

FORGET MY FREAKOUT.
PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

LET'S MOVE FORWARD.

WELL...

YOU DON'T WANT TO MOVE FORWARD?

NO, I DO, BUT I
NEED YOUR PROMISE

YOU'RE NOT GONNA
LOSE IT ON ME AGAIN.

I PROMISE.

'CAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE
LOSING A BUSINESS PARTNER

AND MY BEST FRIEND
IN ONE FELL SWOOP.

IT'D BE TOO MUCH.

SOOKIE, I WILL PLACE MY HAND ON
WHATEVER YOU WANT AND SWEAR

THAT YOU CAN TRUST THAT I WILL
NOT LOSE CONFIDENCE IN OUR DREAM.

THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH. I KNOW YOU
DON'T LIKE TO PUT YOUR HAND ON THINGS.

WE'RE GONNA GIVE
IT OUR BEST SHOT.

AND IF WE GO DOWN
AFTER 2 YEARS...

IT'LL BE THE MOST EXCITING
2 YEARS OF OUR LIVES.

HOW ABOUT ANTIQUES?

ABSOLUTELY. IT'S THE
BEST PLACE FOR ANTIQUES.

MICHEL WILL HAVE A MAP
FOR YOU IF YOU NEED IT.

THANK YOU.

HELLO. CAN I HELP YOU?

NO, THANK YOU. I JUST...

YES?

I JUST WANTED TO MEET THE WOMAN
WHO HELPED RAISE MY DAUGHTER.

EMILY.

YES, I'M EMILY GILMORE.

I'VE WANTED TO MEET YOU,
TOO, FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

WELL, THAT'S NICE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT DOWN?

HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT. HAVE
LUNCH WITH ME, WON'T YOU?

NO, THANK YOU.

YOU HAVE A LOVELY PLACE HERE.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL HOTEL.

NOT A HOME, BUT STILL
A BEAUTIFUL HOTEL.

SOMETIMES HOME IS
WHERE YOUR HAT IS.

OR WHERE YOUR FAMILY IS.

YES, THAT, TOO.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT SOME TEA?

TEA USUALLY MAKES THINGS
LIKE THIS LESS AWKWARD.

THERE'S THINGS TO HOLD AND STIR.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAME HERE.

YOU WANTED TO MEET ME.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
IT MAKES NO SENSE.

I EXPECTED YOU TO
COME EVENTUALLY.

DID YOU? UH-HUH.

AND WHAT DID YOU EXPECT
TO SAY TO ME WHEN I DID COME?

WHEN LORELAI SHOWED
UP ON MY PORCH THAT DAY

WITH A TINY BABY IN HER
ARMS, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF:

"WHAT IF THIS WERE MY DAUGHTER,

"AND SHE WAS COLD AND SCARED
AND NEEDED A PLACE TO LIVE?

WHAT WOULD I WANT FOR HER?"

AND THEN I THOUGHT, "I'D
WANT HER TO FIND SOMEBODY

TO TAKE HER IN AND MAKE HER
SAFE AND HELP HER FIND HER WAY."

THAT'S FUNNY.

I WOULD'VE WANTED HER TO FIND
SOMEONE WHO WOULD SEND HER HOME.

I HAVE TO GO.

I'D APPRECIATE IF YOU DIDN'T
MENTION THIS TO LORELAI.

I WON'T.

DO YOU HAVE PICTURES?
FROM BACK THEN?

I'LL SEND YOU A BOXFUL TOMORROW.

THANK YOU.

OH, MAN, IT'S SUCH A RELIEF TO
HAVE THAT SOOKIE THING FIXED.

I KNOW, I HATE
FIGHTING WITH FRIENDS.

THAT'S WHAT ENEMIES ARE FOR.

GOD KNOWS WE HAVE
OUR SHARE OF THOSE.

PEOPLE WHO EAT CRUNCHY
FOOD WITH THEIR MOUTHS OPEN.

PEOPLE WHO DOG-EAR
LIBRARY BOOKS.

PEOPLE WHO SPIT WHEN THEY TALK.

OH, GROSS. YOU
GOT ME IN THE EYE!

I DID NOT. YOU TOTALLY DID.

YOU'RE FULL OF IT.

LUKE, WHERE'S MY TOAST?

IT'S GONNA TAKE A WHILE.
MY BIG TOASTER'S BROKEN,

SO I GOT STUCK WITH
JUST THIS DINKY ONE.

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

YOU'RE GONNA BREAK THAT.

IT WAS BROKEN BEFORE.

IT MUST'VE GOT BETTER.

INANIMATE OBJECTS
DON'T USUALLY GET BETTER.

DID YOU FIX THIS?

PLEASE.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE BABBLING ABOUT.

I DON'T FIX THINGS.

BUT YESTERDAY...

I'VE GOT SCHOOL.