Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 2, Episode 22 - I Can't Get Started - full transcript

♪

♪ I'VE FLOWN AROUND
THE WORLD IN A PLANE ♪

♪ I'VE SETTLED
REVOLUTIONS IN SPAIN ♪

♪ THE NORTH POLE
I HAVE CHARTED ♪

♪ BUT I CAN'T GET
STARTED WITH YOU ♪

♪ AROUND THE GOLF COURSE ♪

HUH?

SOOKIE, YOU'VE GOT
TO BE KIDDING. WHAT?

YOU CAN'T WALK DOWN
THE AISLE TO THAT. WHY?

IT'S DEPRESSING. IT'S ELLA.

IT'S MORBID. IT'S
A CLASSIC SONG.

A SONG WITH LYRICS ABOUT A WOMAN
WHO CAN'T MAKE HER RELATIONSHIP WORK,

WHOSE LIFE IS FULL OF
EMPTINESS, REGRET AND PAIN.

OH, WHO LISTENS TO THE LYRICS?

ANYBODY NOT HANGING OUT WITH
ANNIE SULLIVAN BY THE WATER PUMP.

WHAT ARE THESE?

OH, THOSE ARE SOME
ALTERNATIVE SONGS,

BUT I REALLY LIKE
THIS ONE THE BEST.

ALTERNATIVE SONGS?
GOOD. LET'S SEE.

HEY JUDE?

PAUL WROTE IT FOR
JULIAN TO CHEER HIM UP.

SEASONS IN THE SUN?

A SENTIMENTAL FAVORITE.

CAT'S IN THE CRADLE?

OH, IT MAKES YOU
REEXAMINE YOUR PRIORITIES.

DON'T CRY OUT LOUD?

SOOKIE, DO YOU
EVEN LIKE JACKSON?

LOOK, I HAVE A
WONDERFUL SUGGESTION.

GREAT. LET'S HEAR IT.

OK, HERE WE GO.
HOW ABOUT I LEAVE?

AND THEN DO WHAT? THAT'S IT.

I LEAVE AND I DON'T HAVE TO
LISTEN TO THIS INSANITY ANYMORE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,
HUH? BECAUSE I LOVE IT.

MICHEL, I AM IN THE WEDDING,

WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE
TO RUN IT ALL BY YOURSELF,

SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER
DONE BEFORE. OH, PLEASE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, SOOKIE.

HOW ABOUT LANE AND I COME UP WITH
A FEW MORE SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU?

STILL MELODIC, BUT NOT
QUITE AS GIRL, INTERRUPTED.

- ALL RIGHT, FINE.
- GREAT.

MICHEL, HOW IS THE
R.S.V.P. LIST COMING?

WELL, I MUST SAY THIS HAS BEEN
ESPECIALLY CHALLENGING FOR ME.

I MEAN, WHEN YOU ARE TALKING
ABOUT A WEDDING WITH UP TO 40 PEOPLE,

ALL LIVING WITHIN
A 5-MILE RADIUS,

HOW CAN ONE PERSON BE EXPECTED
TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL OF THAT?

JUST AN ANSWER WILL DO.

I MEAN, IT GOT A LITTLE
HAIRY THERE FOR A MOMENT.

I ALMOST HAD TO USE A 2ND
SHEET OF PAPER, YOU KNOW.

I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU ANNOY
ME OUT OF MAKING YOU HANDLE THIS.

OH, WE'LL SEE.

HEY, MY COUSIN CARL CANCELED,
SO I HAVE 2 EMPTY SEATS.

ANYONE ELSE YOU WANT TO INVITE?

I'VE GOT LANE AND
DEAN. I'M GOOD.

WHAT ABOUT EMILY AND RICHARD?

EMILY AND RICHARD WHO?

YOUR EMILY AND RICHARD.

OH, SOOKIE, YOU'RE
WAY TOO SWEET.

WHAT? SHE WENT TO ALL
THAT TROUBLE TO HELP ME

PLAN THE FIRST
PHASE OF THE WEDDING.

THE CRAZY PHASE OF THE WEDDING.

IT WAS STILL SWEET
AND I APPRECIATE IT.

AND IF IT WASN'T
FOR YOUR MOTHER,

I NEVER WOULD HAVE
SETTLED ON THE COLOR PINK.

WHY IS THAT?

WELL, I WANTED
YELLOW, AND SHE SAID NO.

WELL, WITH LOGIC LIKE THAT.

COME ON. JUST ASK
HER. I WANT YOU TO.

OK, I'LL ASK HER.

GOOD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT GETS HAPPIER THE
2ND TIME YOU HEAR IT.

OH.

♪ AROUND THE GOLF
COURSE I'M UNDER PAR ♪

SNAPPIER, ISN'T IT?

♪ AND ALL THE MOVIES ♪

♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

HMM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?

"OY" IS THE FUNNIEST
WORD IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

HUH?

I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT.

YOU NEVER HEAR THE WORD
"OY," AND NOT SMILE. IMPOSSIBLE.

FUNNY, FUNNY WORD.

OH, DEAR GOD.

"POODLE" IS ANOTHER FUNNY WORD.

PLEASE DRINK
YOUR DRINK, LORELAI.

IN FACT, IF YOU PUT "OY" AND "POODLE"
TOGETHER IN THE SAME SENTENCE,

YOU'D HAVE A GREAT NEW
CATCHPHRASE, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, "OY WITH THE
POODLES ALREADY."

SO FROM NOW ON, WHEN THE
PERFECT CIRCUMSTANCES ARISE,

WE'LL USE OUR FAVORITE
NEW CATCHPHRASE:

"OY WITH THE POODLES ALREADY."

I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S KNOCKING

"WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT,
WILLIS?" OUT OF FIRST PLACE.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, BE QUIET.

DINNER'S READY, MRS. GILMORE.

BLESS YOU, INGER.

PLEASE TELL MR. GILMORE.
HE'S IN HIS DEN.

YES, MA'AM.

SHALL WE? OK.

OH. HEY, MOM.

UH, SOOKIE WANTED
TO KNOW IF YOU AND DAD

WOULD LIKE TO COME
TO HER WEDDING.

REALLY?

YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.
SMALL, LOW-KEY, BUT FUN.

SHE'S CATERING IT HERSELF,
SO THE FOOD WILL BE FANTASTIC,

AND YOU'D GET TO SEE ME
AND RORY WALK DOWN THE AISLE

IN 2 OF THE LEAST OBNOXIOUS
BRIDESMAIDS' DRESSES EVER CREATED.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS VERY NICE.

WHEN IS IT? A WEEK FROM SUNDAY.

A WEEK FROM SUNDAY? YES.

THE WEDDING IS IN ONE WEEK? YES.

SO THIS IS A PITY
INVITE? A WHAT?

SOMEONE CANCELED
AT THE LAST MINUTE

AND RATHER THAN BEING
LEFT WITH 2 EMPTY SEATS,

SOOKIE ASKED YOU
TO ASK US. HOW NICE.

THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED.

NO, THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

FAR BE IT FOR ME TO BE INVITED

WITH THE FIRST BATCH OF
ACTUAL WANTED GUESTS.

THIS IS JUST FINE.

MOM, IT'S NOT A PITY INVITE.
SHE REALLY WANTS YOU TO COME.

IS THAT SO? YES, THAT'S SO.

WHERE IS OUR INVITATION? WHAT?

OUR INVITATION.

I MEAN, SHE MUST HAVE AT LEAST
GIVEN YOU AN INVITATION TO GIVE US.

SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE
SPECIAL COMING DIRECTLY FROM ME.

SO SHE WAS OUT OF INVITATIONS.
I NEVER FELT SO SPECIAL.

SHE WANTS YOU TO COME.

THERE'S NO REASON
TO BE INSULTED HERE.

I GUESS I SHOULD BE THRILLED I
DIDN'T GET A CALL FROM THE ROAD

AS YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY THERE.

DO NOT TURN THIS INTO
SOMETHING THAT IT'S NOT.

DO WE HAVE A CHOICE
BETWEEN CHICKEN OR FISH,

OR AT THIS POINT DO WE
JUST BRING OUR OWN? STOP.

PERHAPS SHE WOULD ALSO LIKE US TO
PICK UP SOME EXTRA ICE ALONG THE WAY,

OR HELP OUT PARKING THE CARS.

MOM, LOOK, ISN'T RORY PRETTY?

APOLOGIES ALL AROUND.

I COULD NOT GET
ADAMSON OFF THE PHONE.

DAD, GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT HOW PRETTY RORY IS.

GIVE HIM THE BABY FACE.

OH, RORY GETS
LOVELIER EVERY DAY.

WELL, THANK YOU, GRANDPA.

OH, RICHARD. OH, GOD.

GUESS WHAT LORELAI
JUST TOLD ME. WHAT?

WE ARE INVITED TO
SOOKIE'S WEDDING.

OH, HOW NICE. WHEN IS IT?

A WEEK FROM SUNDAY.

OH, SO IT'S A PITY INVITE.

HA!

OY WITH THE POODLES ALREADY.

CAN I GET IT WARMER, PLEASE?

OK.

HOW ARE YOUR PANCAKES? GOOD.

GOOD OR REALLY GOOD? GOOD.

SO NOT REALLY GOOD?

FINE. REALLY GOOD.

OK.

BUT ARE THEY GREAT?

RORY, UH, WOULD YOU PERHAPS
LIKE TO TRADE BREAKFASTS?

YOU MEAN YOUR
PANCAKES FOR MY EGGS?

YEP.

UH, OK.

WOW, YOU'RE CRAZY.
THESE PANCAKES ARE GREAT.

THAT'S 12.

MMM. 2 MORE AND SHE'LL COME IN.

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE'S BEEN WALKING BACK AND
FORTH OUT THERE FOR 20 MINUTES

AND STILL HASN'T
MADE IT TO THE DOOR.

YEAH, BUT LOOK HOW MUCH CLOSER
TO THE BUILDING SHE'S GOTTEN.

WHY DON'T WE JUST
BRING HER SOMETHING OUT?

NO, SHE AND LUKE HAVE BEEN
IN THIS FIGHT FOR TOO LONG.

SHE'S GOTTA DO
THIS. YOU'RE CRUEL.

TOUGH LOVE, BABY.

OOPS. I THINK SHE'S COMING IN.

HOW CAN YOU TELL?

SHE'S GOT THE SHOE-SALE FACE ON.

WELL, OK, I DID IT. I'M IN.

GOOD GIRL.

THAT WASN'T SO BAD. IT
TOOK A WHILE, BUT NOT SO BAD.

WAIT. WHY ARE YOU EATING?

YOU TOOK 30 MINUTES TO COME IN.

BUT I'M HERE NOW, AND
HEY, I'M LIKE CHEESE.

WHAT?

SHE GETS BETTER WITH TIME. AH.

SORRY, GOUDA, WE
GOT SCHOOL. BUT...

ORDER BREAKFAST. AND I'LL
LEAVE THE PAPER. NO, BUT...

SEE YOU TONIGHT.

DEAN, DON'T LEAVE ME.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

HEY. HELLO.

OH, GOOD DOUGHNUT
SELECTION THIS MORNING, REALLY.

GOOD VARIETY, GOOD COLOR,
GOOD GOODNESS, GOOD...

WELL, SO THE CHOICES ARE THERE.

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO
WHAT I'M IN THE MOOD FOR.

SPRINKLED OR CHOCOLATE
OR JELLY OR GLAZED.

MAPLE OR STICKY
OR APPLE OR RAISED.

AND A LITTLE
DOUGHNUT RHYME THERE.

NEVER MIND. CAN I HAVE A
CHOCOLATE AND A SPRINKLED PLEASE?

OK.

SO THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA
BE WITH US NOW, HUH?

NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU'RE PULLING A
"MR. FREEZE" ON ME.

I'M NOT PULLING A "MR. FREEZE."

PLEASE. I'M GONNA NEED SNOW
CHAINS JUST TO GET OUT OF HERE.

I ASSUME YOU WANT COFFEE
WITH YOUR DOUGHNUTS?

I'M SORRY, LUKE.
IT WAS A BAD NIGHT.

I COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT.

I SAID SOME THINGS.

DID YOU GET MY NOTE?
I WROTE YOU A NOTE.

I GOT YOUR NOTE.

DID YOU READ MY NOTE?

I READ YOUR NOTE. AND?

IT WAS VERY
WELL-WRITTEN. THAT'S IT?

I ALSO ENJOYED THE GARFIELD
STATIONARY. THAT'S ONE FUNNY CAT.

I SAID I WAS SORRY,
LUKE. YES, YOU DID.

I SAID IT LIKE A MILLION TIMES.

YOU SAID IT 4 TIMES,

BUT I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE
EMBELLISHING FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT.

STOP. STOP WHAT?

OH, STOP THIS ROBOT TALK.

IF YOU'RE MAD, JUST ACT
LIKE YOU'RE MAD AT ME.

I'M NOT MAD AT YOU.

YOU'RE BEING REALLY, REALLY
UNFAIR. RORY WAS IN THE HOSPITAL.

LORELAI, WHAT IS IT EXACTLY
THAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I'M NOT MAD. I'M NOT
HOLDING A GRUDGE.

I HEARD YOUR APOLOGY.
I'M FEEL I'M BEING POLITE.

I LISTENED TO YOUR DOUGHNUT BIT.

I GOT YOU YOUR COFFEE.

WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY?

I WANT LUKE BACK.

HE'S STANDING RIGHT HERE.

NO, HE'S NOT.

BETTER DRINKING
FOUNTAINS, UPDATED LOCKERS,

CLEARLY MARKED BOYS'
AND GIRLS' RESTROOMS.

NON-DAIRY AND WHEAT-FREE
ALTERNATIVES IN THE CAFETERIA.

A LARGER VOICE IN THE MONETARY
DISBURSAL OF CHARITABLE FUNDS

DONATED TO OUR INSTITUTION.

BECAUSE IT IS OUR
INSTITUTION, YOURS AND MINE.

REMEMBER, PEOPLE. IF
CHILTON SOARS, WE SOAR.

IF CHILTON FAILS, WE FAIL.

IT IS UP TO US. WE
MUST GET INVOLVED.

WE MUST CARE.

IT IS NOT ENOUGH
TO SIGN A PETITION

TO GET A LITTLE DEBBIE MACHINE
INSTALLED IN THE SENIOR CORRIDOR.

SNACK CAKES WILL
NOT CHANGE THE WORLD.

CREAM FILLING WILL
NOT DECIDE OUR LEGACY.

HOW WILL FUTURE GENERATIONS OF CHILTON
STUDENTS REMEMBER THE CLASS OF 2003?

JOHN F. KENNEDY ONCE SAID:

"ASK NOT WHAT YOUR
COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU,

ASK WHAT YOU CAN
DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY."

THOSE ELOQUENT WORDS ARE JUST
AS RELEVANT HERE IN THIS HALL TODAY.

WHAT CAN YOU, THE FUTURE OF
CHILTON, OF AMERICA, OF THE WORLD,

WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR YOUR SCHOOL?

I WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO.

YOU CAN VOTE FOR ME,

PARIS GELLER, FOR
STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT.

AND LET ME START
TOMORROW FOR YOU TODAY.

THANK YOU.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WOULD
LIKE TO THANK REESE McKINLEY,

SCHOTZIE LEASEN
AND PARIS GELLER,

YOUR PRESIDENTIAL
CANDIDATES FOR NEXT YEAR.

ELECTIONS WILL BE
HELD THIS FRIDAY.

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU.

THIS CONCLUDES TODAY'S ASSEMBLY.

YOU ARE ALL DISMISSED.

HEY. HEY.

DID YOU GET THE "LITTLE
DEBBIE" COMMENT?

ALL OF IT? CREAM
FILLING AND SNACK CAKE?

EVERY DELICIOUS MORSEL.

GOOD, GOOD.

SO HOW DO YOU THINK IT WENT?

I THINK IT WENT FINE.

FINE AS IN BETTER THAN
REESE AND SCHOTZIE?

FINE AS IN FINE.

WELL, HOW ARE YOU
SKEWING THE ARTICLE?

WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND
READ ABOUT IT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

FINE, WRITE WHATEVER
YOU WANT. I WILL.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU MENTION THAT

SCHOTZIE PULLING THE SHARON
STONE, BASIC INSTINCT BIT

WAS A CHEAP ATTEMPT TO
DISTRACT THE WHOLE STUDENT BODY

FROM MY MANDATORY
RECYCLING PROGRAM.

GO AWAY, RANDOLPH.

I GOT IT.

YOU DO? COME ON, TELL ME.

OK, 150 STUDENTS WERE POLLED.

A TOTAL CROSS-SECTION.

WE TALKED TO PEOPLE THAT WE
SHOULD NEVER EVEN HAVE TO STAND NEAR.

THE HAIRSTYLES ALONE PROVED THE
FARRELLY BROTHERS ARE NOT MAKING THIS UP.

I'M SORRY. HAVE I EVER BEEN
MISTAKEN FOR A PATIENT PERSON?

RIGHT, SORRY. OK, SO
WE ADDED THE VOTES UP.

YOU ADDED? SHE ADDED.

GOOD. CONTINUE.

WHEN ASKED WHICH OF THE 3
CANDIDATES IS THE MOST QUALIFIED

FOR THE JOB OF PRESIDENT,

90 PERCENT SAID YOU. REALLY?

WHEN ASKED WHO WOULD BE
THE MOST COMPETENT PRESIDENT,

OVERWHELMINGLY THE
ANSWER WAS, ONCE AGAIN, YOU.

SO THAT'S IT. I'M IN. NOT QUITE.

HOW IS THAT NOT QUITE? MOST
COMPETENT, MOST QUALIFIED.

WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

WELL, WE ALSO POLLED
LIKEABILITY. AND?

AND WHILE PEOPLE
THINK YOU'RE SMART...

AND COMPETENT.

AND COMPETENT, THEY
ALSO FIND YOU, WELL, A TAD...

SCARY.

SOMEONE THOUGHT A HALLOWEEN
MASK OF YOU WOULD SELL BIG.

WELL, FINE. THEY DON'T LIKE ME.

BIG DEAL, RIGHT? I'M
STILL MOST COMPETENT.

YES.

BUT WHEN ASKED IF
THE LIKEABILITY ISSUE

WOULD AFFECT
THEIR VOTING CHOICE,

ALMOST 100 PERCENT SAID YES.

THAT'S CRAZY.

YOU MEAN, PEOPLE WOULD VOTE
FOR A MORONIC TWINK WHO THEY LIKED

OVER SOMEONE WHO
CAN ACTUALLY DO THE JOB?

SAD BUT TRUE.

WELL, WHAT DO I DO?

HOPE FOR A SEX SCANDAL?

LOUISE?

OH, I'M ON IT.

HEY.

TOMORROW, WITH EVERYONE ELSE.

SO, I HAVE BEEN RACKING
MY BRAINS FOR WEEKS,

TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
EXACTLY WHO SHOULD BE

MY VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.

WHO WOULD BE YIN TO MY YANG, JOEL
TO MY ETHAN, DAMON TO MY AFFLECK?

AND THEN, SUDDENLY, IT HITS ME.

THE PERFECT PERSON.

WHO? YOU.

WHAT? IT'S GENIUS.

WE COULD ANNOUNCE IT IN
THE FRANKLIN TOMORROW.

GELLER AND GILMORE. WE
EVEN HAVE THE "G" THING.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE
THE POWER OF ALLITERATION.

I DON'T WANT TO
BE VICE-PRESIDENT.

EVERY GIRL WANTS
TO BE VICE-PRESIDENT.

NOT THIS ONE.

BUT YOU HAVE TO.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY.

PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU.

PARIS...

THEY HATE ME, OK?

WHO HATES YOU? EVERYONE.

EVERYONE IN THE
WHOLE SCHOOL HATES ME.

OH, YEAH, THEY THINK I'M THE BEST FOR
THE JOB, BUT THEY WON'T VOTE FOR ME,

AND THAT MEANS
I'M GOING TO LOSE.

HOW IS MY RUNNING WITH
YOU GONNA CHANGE ANYTHING?

BECAUSE PEOPLE
THINK YOU'RE NICE.

YOU'RE QUIET. YOU...
YOU SAY, "EXCUSE ME."

YOU LOOK LIKE BIRDS HELP YOU
GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING.

PEOPLE DON'T FEAR YOU.

HEY, I HAVEN'T BEEN DRESSED
BY A BIRD SINCE I WAS 2.

YOU WILL SOFTEN MY
IMAGE. YOU'RE CRAZY.

PLEASE?

NO, I DON'T WANT
TO BE IN POLITICS.

I JUST WANT TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

YOU WON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.

I'LL DO THE WORK AND
MAKE THE SPEECHES.

YOU JUST HAVE TO SIT
THERE AND BE NICE. NO. BYE.

HARVARD LOVES THIS KIND OF CRAP.

BEING VICE-PRESIDENT IS JUST
ONE MORE THING TO PUT YOU AHEAD

OF THE REST OF THE HUNDREDS OF
THOUSANDS OF STRAIGHT "A" STUDENTS

WHO ARE APPLYING FOR
THE SAME SPOT YOU ARE.

THINK ABOUT IT. YOU SAY NO,

THEN COMES THE DAY WHEN THE
LETTER FROM HARVARD ARRIVES.

THEY'VE TURNED YOU DOWN.

ENJOY CONNECTICUT STATE, SUCKER.

TELL ME YOU WON'T BE THINKING,

"WHAT IF I HAD JUST
RUN WITH PARIS?"

"WHAT IF THE ONE THING THAT
COULD HAVE ENSURED MY PLACE

BEHIND THOSE IVY-COVERED
WALLS I JUST WALKED AWAY FROM?"

FINE. YES. OK.

I GUESS THE THOUGHT JUST BEING NICE
TO PEOPLE NEVER OCCURRED TO YOU?

SEE. THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT I NEED FROM YOU.

REBECCA OF SUNNYBROOK
FARM FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM.

HEY, WEAR SOME BRAIDS
TOMORROW, WITH BOWS.

I MEAN, HELL, LET'S
SELL IT, SISTER.

SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL?

GREAT.

NOT AT ALL SAD?

ABOUT GETTING MY ARM BACK? NO.

REALLY? 'CAUSE I'VE KIND OF
GOTTEN USED TO CASTIE OVER HERE.

I MEAN, WE DECORATED
HIM. WE TALKED TO HIM.

WE PROTECTED HIM FROM
GETTING WET IN THE SHOWER.

IT'S TIME TO WEAN YOU OFF OF GETTING
ATTACHED TO INANIMATE OBJECTS.

CASTIE, NO ONE
UNDERSTANDS YOU LIKE I DO.

WHAT?

NO, I DID NOT KNOW
MR. BAND-AID SAID THAT TO YOU. AH!

I WILL TALK TO HIM
WHEN WE GET HOME.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?
DR. SUE, THANK GOD.

OK. SO, RORY, LET'S GET THIS
THING OFF YOUR ARM, HUH?

WHAT DO YOU SAY? NOT A WORD.

THIS ONE HERE? WAIT, WHICH ONE?

HEY, YOU IN THE WHITE.
COME ON, POINT A FINGER.

DAD?

CHRISTOPHER?

AHA, THERE YOU ARE.

IS IT STILL ON? WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

OH, GREAT, I DIDN'T MISS IT.

HEY, DOCTOR, I'M THE DAD.
HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU, DAD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE.

WHY? I TOLD YOU I WANTED TO
COME FOR THE BIG UNVEILING.

I KNOW, BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD
DRIVE ALL THE WAY FROM BOSTON AGAIN.

YOU GETTING SICK
OF ME? FRANKLY, YES.

EVERYONE HERE NOW?

I THINK SO.

THEN LET'S DO IT.

GREAT. AND, DOCTOR, IF AT ALL
POSSIBLE, WE'D LIKE TO KEEP THE ARM.

OH, I'LL TRY MY BEST.

SO WHERE TO NEXT?

UM, ACTUALLY I HAVE TO GET HOME.

I HAVE TO REVIEW MY
CAMPAIGN PLATFORM.

CAMPAIGN PLATFORM?

YES, OUR LITTLE
HILLARY CLINTON HERE

IS RUNNING FOR STUDENT
BODY VICE-PRESIDENT. WOW!

ELECTIONS ARE ON FRIDAY,

BUT I CAN HONESTLY
SAY THAT I'M VERY TORN

ABOUT WHICH WAY I WANT IT TO GO.

I SPENT 4 HOURS MAKING PICTURE
BUTTONS. YOU WANT TO WIN.

IF I WIN, THEN I HAVE TO BE
VICE-PRESIDENT NEXT YEAR.

PLUS, I'LL HAVE TO SPEND
MY SUMMER IN WASHINGTON

FOR A JUNIOR LEADERSHIP PROGRAM

WHICH MEANS 6 STRAIGHT WEEKS OF
ME AND PARIS TOGETHER IN A DORM ROOM.

HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS?
I'LL COME BACK HERE

ON THURSDAY AND TAKE
YOU GUYS TO DINNER.

THEN WE'LL BREAK INTO
CHILTON AND TAMPER WITH VOTES.

WE CAN'T.

THURSDAY IS SOOKIE'S
REHEARSAL DINNER.

THEN YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR TRUST

IN THE DEMOCRATIC
SYSTEM. GOOD LUCK.

BUT, IF YOU'RE GONNA BE IN
THE AREA THURSDAY NIGHT,

YOU COULD COME
WITH US TO THE DINNER.

BUT IT'S SOOKIE'S
REHEARSAL DINNER.

SHE WOULD LOVE IT.

SHE'S COOKING FOR A
THOUSAND. IT'LL BE FUN.

YEAH, I'M BRINGING DEAN.

I MEAN, IF YOU
CAN'T DO IT, THEN...

WHAT TIME? 7:30.

I'M THERE.

THAT'S GREAT. I'LL TELL HER.

OH, OH,

A TOAST. EVERYBODY, A TOAST.

LADIES, GENTLEMEN,
HONORED GUESTS,

WHO OWNS THE SILVER VOLVO?
BECAUSE YOU'RE BLOCKING ME IN.

WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN THE TOAST
HE MADE AT THE ABROMOWITZ WEDDING.

HOW LONG BEFORE I MOVE THE CAR?

GIVE IT ANOTHER 10 MINUTES.

COME ON, I'VE GOT TO GO.

MY MOM IS WAITING.
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

WE NEED TO TALK.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THE BEDROOM, PLEASE.

HONEY, I'M MELTING
CHOCOLATE HERE.

OH, THE CHOCOLATE CAN WAIT.

MY FATHER JUST TOOK ME
ASIDE AND HANDED ME THIS.

HE HANDED YOU A SKIRT?
OH, IT'S NOT A SKIRT.

IT'S A KILT.

OH.

WHY DID HE HAND THIS TO YOU?

HE GAVE THIS TO ME TO
WEAR ON MY WEDDING DAY.

NO. OH, YES.

HE WORE IT ON HIS WEDDING DAY.

MY GRANDFATHER
WORE IT ON HIS WEDDING.

APPARENTLY THERE'S A
LONG STANDING TRADITION

WHERE THE MEN IN MY FAMILY
GET VERY AIRY ON THE BIG DAY.

WELL, HONEY, IF IT
MEANS THAT MUCH TO HIM.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

WELL, HE'S YOUR FATHER.

YOU WON'T LET ME
WEAR SHORTS IN PUBLIC,

YOU'RE GONNA LETTING
ME GET MARRIED IN THIS?

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA WEAR PANTS.

IF HE DOESN'T LIKE IT, HE
DOESN'T HAVE TO COME.

HE HAS TO COME.
HE'S THE BEST MAN.

TOO BAD.

JACKSON, COME ON.

SHORTS ARE DIFFERENT.
THEY CUT YOU FUNNY.

OK, THAT'S IT. I NEED SOME AIR.

GRAB THE BOTTLE.

BOSSY. I LIKE IT.

WOW.

I HOPE THE 2ND ACT IS AS
GOOD AS THE FIRST ONE.

OH, WELL, IT'S A WEDDING.

THINGS ARE SUPPOSED
TO BE HORRIBLE.

WHEN JACKSON CAME OUT HOLDING
THAT KILT, MAN, I FELT FOR HIM.

I KNOW. SO DID I.

PLEASE, I SAW WHAT
YOUR FACE WAS DOING.

WHAT? WHAT WAS MY FACE DOING?

IT WAS COUNTING HOW MANY
BRIGADOON REFERENCES

YOU COULD COME UP WITH TO
TORTURE HIM WITH ON A LATER DATE.

HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE
MY FACE OF THAT?

MY FACE IS CALLING GLORIA
ALLRED WHEN WE GET HOME.

HOW MANY REFERENCES? NONE.

HOW MANY?

12.

INCLUDING A FEW BARS OF
I'LL GO HOME WITH BONNIE JEAN.

WELL, I'M BEGGING YOU, TAKE
PLENTY OF PICTURES AT THIS WEDDING

BECAUSE I HAVE A FEELING
IT'S GONNA BE A CLASSIC.

IF YOU ARE GONNA BE IN TOWN FOR
THE DAY, YOU SHOULD JUST COME WITH US

AND... THANKS.

SEE ALL THE FIREWORKS
FOR YOURSELF.

OK.

OK?

YEAH.

JUST LIKE THAT, OK?

WELL, IF SOOKIE DOESN'T MIND.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH
YOU? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN,
MR. SUDDENLY-I'M-EVERYWHERE,

HOW COME YOU CAN JUST
AGREE TO COME TO THE WEDDING?

BECAUSE I CAN.

DON'T YOU HAVE TO CHECK
YOUR APPOINTMENT BOOK?

IT'S ON A SUNDAY.

DON'T YOU HAVE TO
CHECK WITH SHERRY?

CHRIS, WHAT'S UP?

NOTHIN'. SHERRY'S NOT IN TOWN.

OH.

AND EVEN IF SHE WAS, I STILL
DON'T THINK SHE'D MIND IF I WENT.

BECAUSE SHE'S THE
COOLEST CHICK IN THE WORLD?

BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T
GOING TOO WELL FOR US LATELY.

OH, NO.

SHE HAD THIS BIG
BUSINESS TRIP PLANNED.

AND BEFORE SHE
LEFT, WE HAD A TALK.

YIKES. YEAH.

WE TRIED TO COME UP
WITH SOME ANSWERS,

BUT WE COULDN'T
THINK OF ANYTHING.

SO SHE LEFT, AND WE SAID WE'D
TAKE THIS TIME APART TO THINK.

AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING?

ABOUT FINDING AN APARTMENT.

WOW. UH, THAT'S SO WEIRD.

THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU TWO,

YOU WERE BOTH
NAUSEATING, ACTUALLY.

BELIEVE ME, WE MADE
OURSELVES SICK A FEW TIMES.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

NO, THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY.

IT'S NOBODY'S
FAULT. IT JUST ISN'T IT.

ARE YOU OK?

YEAH. I'M OK. THANKS.

WELL, THEN IT'S DECIDED. YOU'LL
COME WITH ME TO SOOKIE'S WEDDING

AND YOU MAKE SURE I STOP
ONE OR 2 BRIGADOONISMS SHY OF

JACKSON TAKING ME
OUT WITH A BAGPIPE.

IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.

OH, MY GOD. I'M SO TIRED.

HEY, MOM. YES, ANGEL?

DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE
THE ALMONDS I MADE FOR TABLE 5 WENT?

NO.

THEY WERE HERE LAST NIGHT
BEFORE SOOKIE'S DINNER.

REALLY, HOW ODD? YEAH.

AND THIS MORNING,

I FOUND SOME STREWN ON THE
STAIRCASE LEADING TO YOUR BEDROOM.

GHOSTS?

IT TOOK ME 6 HOURS TO MAKE
THOSE ALMOND BUNDLES, MOTHER.

WELL, SEE IF YOU CAN
BEAT THAT NEXT TIME.

SO YOU GOT HOME
LATE FROM SOOKIE'S?

YEAH, I STAYED TO HELP
HER CLEAN UP A LITTLE.

HEY, GUESS WHAT?

WHAT?

I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW.

WHAT?

OK, JUST REMEMBER IT'S REALLY
WRONG TO GOSSIP, UNLESS IT'S TRUE

OR JUST WAY TOO GOOD NOT TO TELL EVERYONE
YOU SEE, WHETHER YOU KNOW THEM OR NOT.

GOT IT, WHAT IS IT?

THAT'S MY CONSCIENCE CALLING. TELL IT
ENOUGH ALREADY. I HEARD IT THE FIRST TIME.

HELLO?

HOW'S THIS SOUND FOR A TEMPLATE?

"I HAVE DONE MY
BEST. I HAVE LOST.

"MR. NIXON HAS WON.

"THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS
HAS WORKED ITS WILL,

SO NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE
URGENT TASK OF UNITING THIS COUNTRY."

WHAT IS THAT? HUBERT
HUMPHREY'S CONCESSION SPEECH.

NOW, OTHER THAN
THE PART ABOUT NIXON,

PARTS OF IT REALLY
SEEM TO APPLY HERE.

PARIS... I'M NOT
GOING TO STEAL IT.

I'LL PARAPHRASE AND
GIVE HIM CREDIT. PARIS...

NOT THAT THE PERSON
WHO ACTUALLY WINS

WILL EVEN KNOW WHO
HUBERT HUMPHREY IS,

BUT, HEY, I BET THEY'LL ORGANIZE
ONE BOFFO SENIOR DITCH DAY.

WHERE ARE YOU?
IN THE AUDITORIUM.

I WANTED TO BE HERE FOR
ONE LAST MEET-AND-GREET.

GET THEM BEFORE
THEY GO TO THE BOOTH.

LEAVE THAT PLACE RIGHT NOW.

PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU'RE INSANE,

AND GENERALLY PEOPLE
ARE SCARED OF THE INSANE.

SO, SEE WHERE I'M GOING HERE?

I'M GOING TO LOSE.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. YES, I DO.

BECAUSE EVEN IF I WIN, I
ONLY WON BECAUSE OF YOU.

THEREFORE EITHER WAY, I LOSE.

COME ON. GO GET A
CUP OF COFFEE. RELAX.

YOU DESERVE THIS JOB. I SWEAR.

PUT AWAY THE CONCESSION SPEECH.

HUBERT HUMPHREY MUST NOT HAVE
BEEN CONSIDERED VERY FUN EITHER.

I'LL SEE YOU AT SCHOOL.

GOD, SHE WANTS TO WIN SO BADLY,

AND ME NOT SO
BADLY. I FEEL TERRIBLE.

COME ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WIN,

SO YOU CAN SPEND YOUR SUMMER
IN WASHINGTON. FAR AWAY FROM ME.

PLEASE, DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT
WASHINGTON. IT GIVES ME A STOMACH ACHE.

IT'D BE WONDERFUL.

THEN YOU AND I WILL GO SOME DAY.

LOOK AT YOU. TRYING TO MAKE
MOMMY FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T

SPEND EVERY NIGHT TUNNELING
OUT OF HERE WITH A SPOON.

GET BACK TO THE GOSSIP, PLEASE.

OH, YEAH, OK.

SO, GUESS WHO'S IN THE
PROCESS OF BREAKING UP?

FRED AND JEN? BITE YOUR TONGUE.

I DON'T KNOW.

SHERRY AND YOUR DAD.

NO. YES.

DAD TOLD YOU THAT? LAST NIGHT.

WOW. BUT THEY WERE SO TOGETHER.

I KNOW. WELL, NOW THEY'RE NOT.

WELL, IS HE...

OH, LOOK AT YOU. WHAT?

YOU'RE TOTALLY GLOATING.

I'M NOT GLOATING.

WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

I AM NOT... SMILING.

I HAD A LITTLE STROKE.

YOU'RE SMILING.

LOOK, IF HE WAS ALL
BROKEN UP ABOUT IT,

THEN I WOULD BE
SAD. BUT HE'S NOT. SO...

4TH RUNG OF HELL, PARTY OF ONE.

WELL, AT LEAST MY
FEET WON'T GET COLD.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?

TSK.

WHAT? THAT.

THE JORDAN ALMOND YOU PULLED
OUT OF YOUR PAJAMA TOP AND ATE.

WHERE DID YOU GET IT?

MMM, SANTA CLAUS.

ALL RIGHT, THE PIANO
MOVERS WILL BE HERE AT 8:00,

AND THE CHAIRS
WILL BE SET UP AT 9:00.

ALL THE ROOMS ARE
MADE UP AND READY.

I WILL BE IN AT 10:00.

NOW I AM GOING HOME, UNLESS
YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO STAY.

ACTUALLY, I WOULD. THANKS.

NO, I'M SORRY. I THINK
I SAID THAT WRONG.

I AM GOING HOME NOW,
UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO STAY.

I WOULD LOVE YOU TO
STAY. THANKS FOR OFFERING.

OK, ONCE AGAIN, MY
ENGLISH, NOT SO GOOD.

ONE MORE TIME.

I AM GOING HOME NOW

AFTER WORKING 6 HOURS
LONGER THAN I USUALLY WORK

AND PERFORMING TASKS I
DESPISE AND I'M ASHAMED OF.

NOW I AM GOING HOME TO WASH OFF
THE STENCH OF THIS HORRIFYING DAY,

THAT IS, UNLESS, FOR SOME
UNKNOWN, GODFORSAKEN REASON,

YOU NEED ME TO STAY.

WELL, ACTUALLY...

GOODBYE.

HEY, CAN I GRAB MY BAG? I'LL
GO IN THE BACK AND CHANGE.

HERE. THANK YOU.

HEY, I WENT WITH THE SUGAR
DAFFODILS FOR THE TOP TIER.

LET ME TELL YOU,
THEY LOOK GREAT.

OH, I'VE OUTDONE
MYSELF THIS TIME.

WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?

I JUST WANT TO DOUBLE CHECK
EVERYTHING FOR TOMORROW.

DON'T WORRY. I'M DONE.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.

I'M NOW GOING STRAIGHT TO BED.

YOUR LAST NIGHT AS
A SINGLE WOMAN. YEP.

YOU STILL LOOK GOOD.
I STILL FEEL GOOD.

THIS THINK OF IT, AS OF TOMORROW,
YOU CAN WEAR COLD CREAM TO BED

AND STOP SHAVING YOUR LEGS.

THAT'S RIGHT, 'CAUSE
I GOT ME A MAN.

GO TO SLEEP. OK.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.
SEE YOU TOMORROW.

WELL, LOOK WHO'S GOT MARTHA
STEWART LOCKED IN A BASEMENT.

DID YOU DO ALL THIS?

YEAH, I DID.

HOW'S IT LOOK? IT LOOKS GREAT.

GOOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?

I COULDN'T SLEEP.

I SWEET-TALKED THE MAID INTO
LEAVING ME 10,000 PILLOW MINTS,

AND THEN I PROCEEDED
TO EAT THEM ALL.

SERVES YOU RIGHT.

OH, GOD. I'M SO EXHAUSTED.

YOU NEED SOME HELP?

NO, I'M ALMOST DONE.

I GOT UP AND WENT BACK
TO WORK JUST NOW, DIDN'T I?

YES, YOU DID.

OH, GOOD.

THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO LOAF.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR SOOKIE.

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE A
REAL, LIVE LOVE STORY.

I SAW IT ALL HAPPEN.

I MEAN, I HIRED JACKSON.

I WATCHED THEM MEET.

I WATCHED THEM HAVE SEVERAL
BIZARRELY INTENSE ARGUMENTS

OVER MUSTARD GREENS.

I WATCHED THEM FALL IN LOVE.

I GOT TO SEE IT ALL.
IT WAS A NICE SHOW.

HMM.

HI.

HI.

WHAT WAS THAT?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

CHRIS?

ONE MORE TIME, AND MAYBE
I'LL HAVE AN EXPLANATION.

MMM.

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

I HOPE TO GOD YOU'RE WRONG.

BUT IT'S US. I MEAN,
YOU AND I, WE...

HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THE
SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME.

BUT NOW...

MY HEAD IS SPINNING.

IT'S THE PLANTS IN
HERE, TOO MUCH OXYGEN.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT
A ROOM UPSTAIRS.

YOU WERE THAT SURE
YOU'D GET LUCKY?

I NEVER DREAMED
I'D GET THIS LUCKY.

OH, THAT'S GOOD.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DAFFODILS. AM I INSANE?

CAN'T HAVE DAFFODILS ON THE
WEDDING CAKE. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW.

THERE'S TOO MUCH PINK.

SWEETIE, THIS IS
NOT TOO MUCH PINK.

PINK IS FOR GIRLS.
JACKSON'S NOT A GIRL.

JACKSON DOESN'T LIKE PINK.

I HAVE ALL THIS PINK. IT'S
LIKE SAYING, "SCREW YOU.

YOU WANT A SAY IN THIS?
WELL, GROW SOME OVARIES."

HEY, HEY, PUT THE
PASTRY BAG DOWN.

I CAN'T. I HAVE TO FIX THIS.

SOOKIE, DOWN.

NOW, STEP AWAY
FROM ALL THINGS EDIBLE.

HEY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHEN I LEFT YOU, YOU WERE FINE.

I KNOW, AND WHEN I
WENT HOME, I WAS FINE.

AND WHEN I WENT
TO BED, I WAS FINE.

AND THEN I HAD THIS DREAM WHERE

SUDDENLY MY DRESS IS REALLY,
REALLY SHORT IN THE BACK, YOU KNOW?

SO I BOLT OUT OF BED AND
PUT MY DRESS ON. IT LOOKS OK.

BUT THEN I PANIC.

WHAT IF I REMEMBER
THE DREAM WRONG?

WHAT IF MY DRESS REALLY ISN'T
SCREWED UP? WHAT IF IT'S MY VEIL?

SO I PUT ON THE VEIL. BUT THEN I
REMEMBER I'M SERVING SALMON PUFFS.

SALMON PUFFS. I'M
COMPLETELY WRONG.

SO I HAD TO RUSH OVER HERE AND
TRY TO FIND ANOTHER FIRST COURSE.

AND THEN I WALK OUT
AND THESE DAFFODILS...

SOMETHING SNAPPED.

AND THAT'S WHEN
YOU WALKED IN HERE.

HONEY, YOU'RE
NERVOUS. IT'S NATURAL.

WELL, I WASN'T
NERVOUS UNTIL TONIGHT.

WELL, THAT'S OK.

I'M SCARED. I KNOW.

I DON'T WANT TO GET
DIVORCED. I KNOW.

I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ALL
THE TIME AND END UP BITTER.

I KNOW.

I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF
THOSE WOMEN SITTING AROUND

MAKING JOKES ABOUT
HUSBAND NUMBER 2.

I WANT NUMBER ONE TO LAST.

I KNOW.

I WANT A GUARANTEE.

SOOKIE, YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

I KNOW. NO, I DON'T.

OK, I NEED TO STOP OBSESSING
ON THIS. TELL ME SOMETHING.

LIKE WHAT? I DON'T
KNOW. ANYTHING.

TELL ME SOMETHING TO MAKE
ME STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS.

I JUST SLEPT WITH CHRISTOPHER.

THAT'LL WORK.

IT JUST HAPPENED. WHEN?

TONIGHT IN HIS ROOM.

OH, MY GOD.

WAS IT... OH, YEAH.

WOW. WHAT DOES THIS
MEAN? I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, IS THIS A GOOD THING?

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT IS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU AND CHRISTOPHER
GOT TOGETHER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

OK, HOLD ON. WE HAVEN'T EVEN
TALKED ABOUT THAT OURSELVES YET.

OH, GOD. OH, GOD. I KNOW.

WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA TALK ABOUT IT?

PROBABLY WHEN I GO BACK UP
WITH THE SNACKS I PROMISED.

HE'S WAITING FOR YOU?

YES, HE IS.

OH, YOU'VE GOT TO
GET BACK UP THERE.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP.

I WANT TO HEAR ALL
THE DETAILS TOMORROW.

OK. I'LL GRAB YOU BETWEEN
THE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE

AND THE GETTING MARRIED.

HEY, SOOKIE. WHAT?

YOU'RE IN YOUR WEDDING DRESS.

I AM.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

NOW YOU GO GET SOME SLEEP.

AND YOU GO GET SOME.

ROOM SERVICE.

I DO LIKE THIS HOTEL.

OH, GOD, THAT'S
GOOD. WHAT IS IT?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

BUT IF SOOKIE
ASKS, MICHEL ATE IT.

SO SHOULD WE AVOID
THE SUBJECT FOR A WHILE

OR DIVE RIGHT IN?

CALL ME GREG LOUGANIS.

RIGHT.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE...

AMAZING.

I'M NOT ARGUING.

WELL, DOES THAT MEAN THERE'S
A CHANCE FOR A REPEAT AMAZING?

DO YOU MEAN RIGHT
NOW OR JUST IN GENERAL?

BOTH. LET'S START
WITH IN GENERAL.

I DON'T KNOW, CHRIS.

IT'S WEIRD, ISN'T IT?

I MEAN, WE JUST FOUND
THIS GREAT BALANCE.

I'VE BEEN SEEING YOU MORE.
WE'RE GETTING ALONG SO WELL.

I KNOW.

AND THIS THING WITH
SHERRY IS SO RECENT.

I KNOW.

AND THEN THERE'S
RORY TO THINK ABOUT.

AND WE CAN'T JUST GO CHANGING
EVERYTHING ON HER NOW.

NOT UNLESS...

NOT UNLESS IT'S GONNA BE A
PRETTY PERMANENT CHANGE.

YEAH.

YOU'RE SO SURE IT CAN'T BE?

NO, I'M... I'M NOT SO SURE.

THE TIMING SEEMS RIGHT,
LORELAI. I KNOW IT DOES.

MAYBE ALL THIS STUFF
WE WENT THROUGH,

THAT'S THE JOURNEY WE
NEEDED TO TAKE TO END UP HERE.

MAYBE.

BEING A FAMILY.
MOM, DAD, KID, VOLVO.

OH, THE VOLVO WILL HAVE TO GO.

IT HAS A NICE RING TO IT.

YEAH, IT DOES.

I GUESS...

WHAT?

I GUESS WE'LL NEVER
KNOW UNTIL WE TRY.

SO, WE TRY?

YEAH, WE TRY.

LUKE, I'VE GOT 10 MINUTES. HOW
QUICKLY CAN YOU MAKE ME A HAM ON RYE?

I NEVER CLOCKED IT, KIRK.

DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE FAST?

YES, KIRK. OF ALL
THE SANDWICHES,

I DO BELIEVE THE HAM ON RYE IS ONE
OF THE FASTER ONES TO ASSEMBLE.

AND A PATTY MELT?
SAME TIME FRAME?

PROBABLY LONGER.

REALLY?

YES, I HAVE TO
GRILL A HAMBURGER.

WITH THE OTHER ONE, I JUST
PUT THE HAM ON THE BREAD.

WHAT IF I WANT THE BREAD
ON THE HAM ON RYE TOASTED?

ARE WE TALKING SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
THE PATTY MELT AND THE UN-TOASTED?

PROBABLY.

CLOSER TO THE MELT
OR CLOSER TO... KIRK!

PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY TO GO.

COMING RIGHT UP.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SUIT?

IT'S FINE.

I GOT IT FOR SOOKIE'S WEDDING.

I READ AN ARTICLE IN THE PAPER
THAT SAID THAT WEDDINGS ARE

AN EXCELLENT PLACE
TO MEET WOMEN.

IF IT WAS IN THE
PAPER, IT MUST BE TRUE.

I HOPE SO, 'CAUSE
I'M SO DAMN LONELY,

NOT EVEN ANIMAL PLANET
DOES IT FOR ME ANYMORE.

YOUR SANDWICH
IS COMING RIGHT UP.

CAESAR, I'M GOING
UPSTAIRS FOR A MINUTE.

HEY. HI.

HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?

THE DOOR WAS OPEN.

NO, I MEAN, I... I
WAS IN THE DINER.

I WOULD HAVE SEEN
YOU COME UP THE STAIRS.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET
IT. I... I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

SO HOW'S EVERYTHING BACK HOME?

FINE.

YOUR MOM?

FINE.

ARE YOU IN TROUBLE?

NO.

THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU DOING HERE, JESS?

YOU KNOW I, UH,

I CALLED YOU 6 TIMES.

NOW, I DIDN'T EXPECT
YOU TO CALL ME BACK

SO WE COULD SIT
ON THE PHONE IN BED

AND WATCH SLEEPLESS
IN SEATTLE TOGETHER.

I JUST EXPECTED YOU TO CALL ME
BACK TO SAY YOU GOT HOME SAFE,

NO ONE MUGGED YOU ON THE BUS,

SAY YOU WERE OK.

YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.

JUST TELL ME WHAT
IT IS YOU WANT.

I... I GOT WORK TO DO.

I WANT TO COME BACK.

YOU WHAT?

I WANT TO COME BACK.

COME BACK HERE? YES.

HERE TO STARS HOLLOW? YES.

TO LIVE HERE WITH ME?

I SAID YES A MILLION
TIMES ALREADY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE THE
ONE ASKING FOR SOMETHING,

SO YOU DON'T GET TO BE
JAMES DEAN THIS TIME, OK?

NOW, ONE MORE TIME.
YOU WANNA COME BACK?

YES. WHY?

I JUST...

I JUST WANNA COME BACK.

YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE
TOLD ME WHEN I SAID

YOU WERE COMING
HERE TO LIVE WITH ME?

THEY TOLD ME I WAS CRAZY.
THEY TOLD ME I WAS INSANE.

THEY TOLD ME TO START
WRITING LETTERS TO JODIE FOSTER,

BUT I IGNORED THEM.

I WAS SO SURE THAT I
KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING,

AND THEN YOU SHOWED UP,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU PROVED THEM
RIGHT. I WAS CRAZY.

AND NOW, AFTER ALL THAT HAS
HAPPENED, AFTER ALL THE CHAOS AND HAVOC

THAT YOU HAVE WREAKED,
YOU'RE SERIOUSLY STANDING THERE,

WEARING A T-SHIRT
WITH A PICTURE OF A BUTT

WITH HANDS THAT
ARE FLIPPING ME OFF,

TELLING ME YOU
WANT TO COME BACK?

YOU DIDN'T PACK UP MY STUFF YET.

UH, NO, I'VE BEEN A LITTLE BUSY.

WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING
ON SENDING IT BACK TO ME?

WELL, HEY, AM I WEARING A LITTLE
BROWN UNIFORM WITH U.P.S. STAMPED ON IT?

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THINGS ARE GONNA HAVE
TO BE DIFFERENT, JESS.

I KNOW.

OK.

OK?

SO YOU'RE STAYING?

I'M STAYING.

OK THEN, STAY.

I GOT TO GET BACK TO THE DINER.

I'LL HELP YOU CLOSE
UP LATER, ALL RIGHT?

SURE.

SHE'S NOT HOME.

WHO?

SHE'S AT SOOKIE'S WEDDING WITH
DEAN. THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER.

THEY SEEM TO HAVE GOTTEN
THROUGH THE WHOLE CAR INCIDENT.

THEY'RE DOING REALLY
GOOD, DEAN AND RORY.

GOOD.

JUST LEAVE IT ALONE, JESS.

SHE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND.
JUST LET IT GO.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I'M JUST GOING OUT FOR A WALK.

YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID?

YEAH, I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.

♪ YOU DON'T NEED ANALYZING ♪

♪ IT IS NOT SO SURPRISING ♪

♪ THAT YOU FEEL VERY
STRANGE, BUT NICE ♪

THE LINEN CLOSET'S THE
3RD DOOR ON THE RIGHT.

♪ YOUR HEART GOES
PITTER-PATTER ♪

♪ I KNOW JUST
WHAT'S THE MATTER ♪

♪ BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
THERE ONCE OR TWICE ♪

HEY, YOU. HEY, YOU.

HEY, YOU LOOK NICE.

THANK YOU. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

SO, UH, HOW MANY
COCKTAILS CAUSED THAT?

OH, THEY HAVEN'T HAD
ANY COCKTAILS YET.

REALLY? OH, YEAH.

WHEN THEY START HAVING
COCKTAILS, WE'LL HIDE YOU.

WELL, I'M LOOKING
FORWARD TO THAT.

I'M NOT SURE WHO'D
BE CALLING ME NOW.

HELLO? DEAN?

WHO IS THIS?

IT'S PARIS. I NEED
TO TALK TO RORY.

UH, SURE, HOLD ON. IT'S PARIS.

WHAT?

HELLO?

WE GOT THE BAND.

WHAT? WE GOT THE BAND.

I KNEW WE HAD MOST OF
THE ACADEMIC CLUBS TIED UP,

BUT BAND, THEY
WERE THE WILDCARD.

BELIEVE ME, IF ANYBODY'S
GOING TO BE TRULY SCARED OF ME,

IT'S SOME ARTSY
LOSER WITH A TUBA.

PARIS, HOW DID YOU
GET THIS NUMBER?

OH, RELAX. I WON'T CALL YOU ON
PRINCE WILLIAM'S PRECIOUS PHONE AGAIN.

I JUST WANTED YOU TO
KNOW THAT WE DID IT.

WE'RE IN. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

I THINK WE WON.

WOW. UH, THAT'S GREAT.

YEAH.

I GUESS THIS MEANS YOU'LL BE
SPENDING THE SUMMER IN WASHINGTON.

OH, NOTHING'S DECIDED YET.

BELIEVE ME. LET ME
DO A LITTLE RESEARCH,

THEN I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

GOOD.

HEY. HEY.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY
GREAT ABOUT BEING A GROWNUP?

THIS.

WELL, THANKS FOR
THE LIFE LESSON.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU CLEAN UP REALLY
NICELY. UH, THANK YOU.

WE HAVE TO HIDE HIM FROM PATTY

AND BABETTE ONCE
THEY HIT THE HOOCH.

I ALREADY TOLD HIM. OK.

WELL, I GOT TO CHECK ON SOME
THINGS. SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

BYE.

STOP IT.

STOP WHAT?

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT,

OR EVERYONE HERE
WILL THINK WE DID IT.

MMM.

THAT'LL THROW
THEM OFF THE TRACK.

SO THIS MORNING YOU WOKE UP
AND FELT SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT?

NO.

EMBARRASSED ABOUT LAST NIGHT?

UM, NO.

EAGER AND WILLING
TO REPEAT LAST NIGHT?

MOM, DAD, HI.

RICHARD, EMILY.

WELL, HELLO, CHRISTOPHER.
WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE.

YOU CAME.

OF COURSE WE CAME.
WE WERE INVITED.

HELLO, CHRISTOPHER.

WHY DID YOU THINK
WE WOULD NOT COME?

YOU THOUGHT THE
INVITATION WAS RUDE.

IT WAS RUDE.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EQUALLY
RUDE FOR US NOT TO ATTEND,

WHEN WE WERE PERFECTLY
CAPABLE OF DOING SO, SO WE CAME.

THAT'S CALLED "RISING ABOVE IT."

I SEE. DO YOU WANNA COME HERE
LONG ENOUGH TO GET A DRINK?

YES, THAT WOULD BE NICE.

I'LL GET IT FOR YOU.
CHAMPAGNE, PLEASE.

SHOULD I MAKE
THAT 2? ABSOLUTELY.

I BELIEVE I'LL JOIN YOU TO SEE WHAT
SORT OF SCOTCH THEY'RE SERVING HERE.

WHEN I GET BACK, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO ANSWER MY LAST QUESTION.

WHAT ON EARTH IS
CHRISTOPHER DOING HERE?

UM, WELL, HE'S
VISITING HIS DAUGHTER.

THAT'S VERY NICE. YEAH.

ACTUALLY HE'S BEEN VISITING
HIS DAUGHTER QUITE A BIT LATELY.

REALLY? YES.

IN FACT, MOM, YOU MIGHT BE SEEING A
LOT MORE OF CHRISTOPHER FROM NOW ON.

BECAUSE HE'LL BE
VISITING HIS DAUGHTER?

YES. HE'LL BE VISITING
HIS DAUGHTER.

WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED.

♪ I GO OUT WALKING ♪

♪ AFTER MIDNIGHT ♪

♪ OUT IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪

♪ JUST LIKE WE USED TO DO ♪

♪ I'M ALWAYS WALKING ♪

♪ AFTER MIDNIGHT ♪

♪ SEARCHING FOR YOU ♪

SO I'M GUESSING YOUR
MOM TALKED TO YOU.

SHE TALKS TO ME ALL THE TIME,

FREQUENTLY WHEN I'M
BEGGING HER NOT TO.

AND SHE TOLD YOU
WHAT WE DISCUSSED?

SHE MENTIONED
SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YES.

AND WHAT DO YOU
THINK ABOUT ALL THIS?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT EXACTLY ARE
YOUR INTENTIONS?

EXCUSE ME?

YOUR INTENTIONS,
ARE THEY HONORABLE?

COMPLETELY HONORABLE.

YEAH, BECAUSE, WE HAVE BEEN
WAITING FOR THIS FOR A REALLY LONG TIME,

AND WE TAKE DISAPPOINTMENT
EXTREMELY HARD.

I MEAN IT. PROPERTY
DAMAGE IS OFTEN INVOLVED.

WELL, I BETTER FOLLOW
THROUGH ON THIS, HUH?

I THINK THAT'S AN
EXCELLENT IDEA.

COME HERE, YOU.

THAT'S PROBABLY
WORK. ON A SUNDAY?

HEY, LADY, I'VE GOT A LOT
OF RESPONSIBILITY NOW, OK?

BE RIGHT BACK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HELLO TO YOU, TOO.

IS EVERYTHING OK?

YOU LOOK NICE.

THANK YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I MOVED BACK.

WHAT?

I MOVED BACK.

BUT WHY?

I JUST WANTED TO.

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

RORY...

DON'T SAY A WORD.

OK.

I HAVE TO GO.

WELL, WELCOME HOME.

LOR.

HEY, THERE. WE'RE
STARTING ANY MINUTE.

HAVE YOU SEEN RORY?

YEAH, I JUST LEFT
HER OVER THERE.

OK, I'LL FIND HER.

GET A GOOD SEAT. THE WIND'S KICKING
UP SO THIS MAY BE A GOOD SHOW.

I HAVE TO GO.

WHAT? WHY?

I HAVE TO TAKE
CARE OF SOMETHING.

CHRIS. I'M SORRY, REALLY.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER
TO SEE HOW IT WENT.

NO, WAIT A MINUTE.

TELL ME WHY YOU'RE LEAVING.

WHAT... WHAT'S GOING ON?

SHERRY CALLED. SHE'S BACK.

SO YOU'RE GOING HOME.

GONNA TELL HER
YOU'RE MOVING OUT?

NO?

OK. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I MEAN, I REALLY
CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

UH, OK. I DON'T KNOW.
UM, JUST, UH, DRIVE SAFE.

DRIVE SAFE? YEAH, DRIVE SAFE.

I MEAN, YOU... YOU'RE
STILL RORY'S DAD, RIGHT?

WHATEVER HAPPENS OR
DOESN'T HAPPEN BETWEEN US,

I STILL NEED YOU TO DRIVE SAFE.

LORELAI... JUST GO, CHRIS.

SHERRY'S PREGNANT.

OH. OH, MY.

SHE JUST FOUND OUT AND SHE
CALLED ME AS SOON AS SHE FOUND OUT.

AND THAT WAS HER CALLING
TO TELL ME THAT SHE FOUND OUT.

PREGNANT?

YEAH.

WOW, WELL, WOMEN
ALL OVER THE WORLD

WILL LINE UP TO SEE
THAT TINY WOMAN FAT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I WAS SO HAPPY LAST NIGHT.

AND NOW... YEAH.

I MISSED IT BEFORE WITH RORY. I
WASN'T THERE. I WASN'T A PART OF IT.

I KNOW. AND I NEVER
FORGAVE MYSELF.

I KNOW.

SO I'M GONNA DO THAT AGAIN? I'M
JUST GONNA TAKE OFF? DISAPPEAR?

NO.

YOU'RE GONNA GO HOME.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVABLE.

I WAITED YEARS FOR THIS, LOR:

YOU, RORY, THE WHOLE
PERFECT PICTURE. AND NOW...

LISTEN,

I HAVE TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE IN
A MINUTE AND BE HAPPY FOR SOOKIE,

AND RIGHT NOW I'M HAVING
A LITTLE TROUBLE STANDING.

SO MAYBE IT WOULD BE
BETTER IF YOU WOULD JUST GO.

I'M SO SORRY.

OH, YEAH, ME, TOO.

TELL RORY?

I WILL.

HEY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANKS.

♪

♪ I'VE FLOWN AROUND
THE WORLD IN A PLANE ♪

♪ I'VE SETTLED REVOLUTIONS ♪

I THINK I'M GOING TO WASHINGTON.

OH.

OK.

♪ THE NORTH POLE
I HAVE CHARTED ♪

♪ BUT I CAN'T GET
STARTED WITH YOU ♪

♪ AROUND THE GOLF COURSE ♪

♪ I'M UNDER PAR ♪