Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 2, Episode 21 - Lorelai's Graduation Day - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS:

WHAT ACCIDENT? WHAT DO YOU
MEAN YOU GOT IN AN ACCIDENT?

JESS SWERVED AND... JESS WAS DRIVING
YOUR CAR AND YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT?

BUT I'M FINE.

WHAT ACCIDENT?

JESS WAS DRIVING RORY'S
CAR AND HE CRASHED IT.

HAVE YOU TALKED TO DEAN?

NO, HE GETS HOME TOMORROW.

WHAT'LL YOU SAY? I DON'T KNOW.

IF YOU HADN'T BROUGHT HIM HERE,
NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

THIS IS MY FAULT?

WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT
DID YOU DO TO YOUR ARM?

HERE.

WHAT IS THIS? JUST READ IT.

NOW I HAVE TO FIND JESS, AND I
HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT HE'S OK,

AND IF THAT CUTS INTO YOUR SCREAMING
TIME, WELL, THAT'S JUST TOO DAMN BAD.

GO TO HELL! RIGHT BACK AT YOU!

NOT LONG AFTER THE
ACCIDENT HAPPENED,

LUKE WALKED HIM STRAIGHT
TO THE BUS STATION,

STUCK THE KID ON THE BUS,
SENT HIM HOME TO HIS MOM.

IS HE REALLY GONE?

YES.

OK.

DO YOU WANNA COME IN?

ALL I KNOW IS THAT JESS IS GONE.

WELL, WELL, WELL, WHAT WILL WE DO
FOR ENTERTAINMENT AROUND HERE?

BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME.

WHERE IS THIS
PLACE? NOT TOO FAR.

YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR
MILES. IT HAS NOT BEEN MILES.

MY FEET ARE SORE. HEY, TAUNTO,
WHEN DID YOU BECOME OLDER THAN ME?

JUST TELL ME WHAT THIS NEW
BREAKFAST PLACE IS, AND I'LL BE QUIET.

IT'S AN AMAZING NEW
MYSTERY PLACE THAT I FOUND.

THAT'S ALL I'M TELLIN' YA.

JUST TELL ME IF IT'S IN
THIS TOWN OR THE NEXT?

WE DON'T PATRONIZE THE
NEXT TOWN. SINCE WHEN?

I DON'T KNOW. DIDN'T THEY FEED LEAD
TO OUR JUMPING FROG OR SOMETHIN'?

RIGHT AFTER THEY STONED THE
WOMAN WHO WON THE LOTTERY.

SEE, SO THE BOYCOTT'S LEGIT.

HEY, WAIT. STOP.

OH, LOOK, IT'S MICHAEL LANDON.

OH, MY GOD. YOU GUYS WALK FAST.

I'VE BEEN CHASING YOU
FOR THE PAST 2 BLOCKS.

WE WERE BEING FOLLOWED. I
TOLD YOU I WASN'T BEING PARANOID.

NOW YOU'LL TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WHEN I
TELL YOU THE FURNITURE MOVED ITSELF.

WHERE'RE YOU GUYS
GOING? MYSTERY BREAKFAST.

OUT OF TOWN?

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER
THE DEFINITION OF MYSTERY?

I WAS WONDERING IF IT'S OK TO
PRACTICE ON YOUR POTS AND PANS AGAIN.

IT'S NOT LIKE THEY
HAVE ANY OTHER USE.

THANKS. I'VE ALMOST
NAILED RAMBLE ON.

I HAVE TO STOP HITTING MY FACE

WITH THE STICKS
WHEN I PULL BACK.

JOHN BONHAM HAD
THAT SAME PROBLEM.

KEY IS IN THE TURTLE. ENJOY
YOUR MYSTERY BREAKFAST.

COME ON. IT'S NOT MUCH FARTHER.

WE'RE NOT HEADING TOWARD
ANY BUSINESSES OF ANY KIND.

WHAT?

WE HAVE ARRIVED. ARRIVED WHERE?

OH, YOU ARE WITHOUT SHAME.

SOOKIE, YOU DO
NOT HAVE TO DO THIS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
FEEDING MY GIRLS,

MAKING 'EM HAPPY.
I LOVE DOING THIS.

YEAH, SO FEEL THE
LOVE AND PASS THE SALT.

IT MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY.

EATING CAN HELP DROWN THAT.

YEAH, YEAH. EAT.
EAT. I'M GONNA EAT.

GEE, CAN THE HELP
SIT AT THE TABLE, TOO?

AS LONG AS THEY DON'T SING FOLK
SONGS OR TELL BAWDY STORIES.

HEY, WHAT'S WITH
NARCOLEPTIC NATE OVER THERE?

HE'S NOT MUCH OF
A MORNING PERSON.

NOW SAY, "I CAN'T BELIEVE
I ATE THE WHOLE THING."

IT TAKES HIM ABOUT AN
HOUR TO BECOME JACKSON.

HMM.

OOH, HEY, I HAD A GOOD
IDEA FOR THE WEDDING. COOL.

INSTEAD OF THOSE
LITTLE WRAPPED THINGS

WITH JORDAN ALMONDS
AT EVERY PLACE SETTING,

WHAT IF WE WRAP
UP A FEW ASPIRIN?

ASPIRIN?

FOR THE MORNING-AFTER HANGOVERS.

THAT'S FUNNY.

'CAUSE JORDAN
ALMONDS ARE SO DONE.

HUH, JACKSON, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

ASPIRIN OVER ALMONDS?

CAN WE TAKE THAT AS A YES?

NO.

SEE, EVERYTHING
EVENTUALLY REGISTERS.

HE'LL CHIME IN ON THIS
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

DAYS? DAYS.

HEY, IS JACKSON IN THE HOUSE?

LET ME HEAR YOU SAY, UH...

HMM.

A NEW TOY. SHAMELESS.

♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

HOW'S IT GOIN'?

I HATE THESE BOOKS. HATE THEM.

OH, NO.

AH! SEE THAT? THEY'RE TRYING
TO ESCAPE. THEY HATE ME, TOO.

YOUR BOOKS DON'T HATE YOU.

OH, RORY, MY BRAIN IS FULL.

IT HAS REACHED CAPACITY.

IT'S SHEA STADIUM WHEN
THE BEATLES PLAYED.

IT'S CRAMPED, AND
GIRLS ARE SCREAMING,

AND I THINK GEORGE
IS FIGHTING WITH RINGO.

YOU HAVE A VERY ACTIVE HEAD.

I SIMPLY CANNOT INGEST
ANY MORE INFORMATION.

SO, TAKE A BREAK.
I DON'T HAVE TIME.

CLOSE YOUR EYES,
CLEAR YOUR HEAD.

NO, BECAUSE CLEARING MY HEAD
JUST MEANS THAT ALL THE KNOWLEDGE

I HAVE PAINSTAKINGLY
STUFFED IN THERE WILL LEAK OUT.

I-IN ORDER TO MAKE
ROOM FOR STUFF,

I LOSE STUFF. IT'S A
VERY VICIOUS CIRCLE.

I'LL MAKE YOU SOME COFFEE.

I HATE FINALS.

NOBODY LIKES FINALS.

THANK GOD I'M GRADUATING AND
THIS IS THE LAST TIME I CRAM LIKE THIS.

MY PURSUIT OF HIGHER
EDUCATION HAS LED ME

TO A VERY INTERESTING DISCOVERY
ABOUT MYSELF. WANNA HEAR IT?

SURE.

I DESPISE ACADEMICS.

YUP, LEARNING, KNOWLEDGE,
IT'S ALL WORTHLESS.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU SEE IN ANY OF IT.

LEARNING IS FUN.

PLUS, FOR ME, THERE'S THAT WHOLE
I'M A MINOR, SO IT'S MANDATORY THING.

THAT'S WHAT KILLS ME.
THIS IS SELF-INFLICTED.

I-I'M A MASOCHIST.

I MIGHT AS WELL BE
CARRYING A SWITCH

AND PERIODICALLY
LACERATING MYSELF WITH IT.

THAT DIPLOMA HANGING ON THE WALL

IS GOING TO MAKE THIS
ALL WORTHWHILE. TRUST ME.

I GUESS. UNLESS I TURN INTO JOHN
NASH AND START DROOLING ON PEOPLE.

HEY, YOU'RE GRADUATING.

I KNOW.

NO, YOU'RE GRADUATING.

THERE'S GONNA BE A CEREMONY.

OH, UH,

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S A
COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

WELL, COMMUNITY
COLLEGES HAVE CEREMONIES.

MY COLLEGE DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE A LAWN.

THEY WON'T NECESSARILY
HAVE A CEREMONY.

THEY MUST. DID YOU ASK?

NO.

WELL, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,

I THINK SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING

ABOUT SOME... SOME CHEESY
CEREMONY FOR MY BUSINESS CLASS.

WHEN IS IT? I DON'T KNOW.

NEXT THURSDAY OR SOMETHING.

THAT'S GREAT. YOU HAVE
TO DO IT. I DON'T KNOW.

YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

REALLY? YES.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A PART OF
AN ACTUAL GRADUATION CEREMONY.

I KNOW. THAT'S BECAUSE MY
STUPID CONSERVATIVE HIGH SCHOOL

WOULDN'T LET ME
BE IN THE CEREMONY

AND NURSE YOU AT THE SAME TIME.

DON'T BE GROSS.

DO YOU REALLY
THINK I SHOULD DO IT?

YES. YOU'VE WORKED HARD
FOR THIS. YOU'VE EARNED IT.

I GUESS.

COME ON. YOU KNOW THAT DEEP
DOWN YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS.

WELL, I'LL ADMIT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO WEAR ONE OF THOSE GOWNS.

AND THE HAT?

FOR THE TASSEL. 'CAUSE YOU
KNOW MY THING FOR FRINGE.

AND THEY CALL OUT YOUR NAME, AND... AND
PEOPLE CLAP, AND YOU GET YOUR DIPLOMA.

OH, AND THEN YOU DO THAT
THING WHERE YOU MOVE THE TASSEL

FROM ONE SIDE TO THE OTHER.

VERY SYMBOLIC, VERY DRAMATIC.

THAT'S IT. YOU'RE DOIN' IT.

ALL RIGHT. IF YOU INSIST.

OK. WHO DO YOU WANT TO
INVITE? I DON'T KNOW. YOU.

AND? THAT'S COOL WITH ME.

SOOKIE AND JACKSON?
OH, THAT WOULD BE FUN.

AND GRANDMA AND
GRANDPA? OH, NO. NO, NO, NO.

COME ON. IT'S YOUR GRADUATION.
THEY SHOULD BE THERE.

FORGET IT. THEY WON'T
WANT TO BE THERE.

OF COURSE THEY WILL.

RORY, I WAS SUPPOSED TO
GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL,

GO TO VASSAR, MARRY A YALE MAN,

AND GET MYSELF A PROPER NICKNAME
LIKE BABE OR BUNNY OR SHIH TZU.

INSTEAD, I GOT PREGNANT. I
DIDN'T FINISH HIGH SCHOOL,

I DIDN'T MARRY YOUR FATHER,
AND I ENDED UP IN A CAREER

THAT APPARENTLY JESSICA HAHN
WOULD THINK WAS BENEATH HER.

I HUMILIATED THEM.

THE 2 PROUDEST PEOPLE IN THE
WORLD, AND I HUMILIATED THEM.

I SPOILED THEIR PLANS. I
TOOK THEIR FINE UPBRINGING

IN A WORLD OF COMFORT
AND OPPORTUNITY,

AND I THREW IT IN THEIR FACES.

I BROKE THEIR HEARTS, AND
THEY'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME.

I GUESS I CAN'T EXPECT THEM TO.

MAYBE YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT
HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS.

IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

RORY, I DON'T WANT THEM TO GO.

IT'LL JUST HURT THEM, AND ME.

OK?

OK.

YOU SHOULD GET BACK
TO YOUR STUDYING.

FINE.

OH, GREAT. WHAT?

I THINK I'VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN
EVERYTHING I READ IN THE LAST 2 HOURS.

NO, YOU HAVEN'T. YES, I HAVE.

IN FACT, I MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN
EVERYTHING I'VE EVER KNOWN.

CHILD, WHAT BE YOUR NAME?

STUDY.

HMM.

JUST EXPLAIN THE
CONCEPT ONE MORE TIME.

AND BE MOCKED
AGAIN? NO, THANK YOU.

COME ON.

YEAH, MAYBE WE'RE
MISSING SOMETHING.

OK. YOU GO TO A
SPECIAL SHOOTING RANGE.

A SKEET SHOOTING RANGE. RIGHT.

THERE'S 2 OF YOU, AND, UH, THE
GUY WITH THE GUN YELLS, "PULL."

THEN THE OTHER GUY RELEASES A CLAY
PIGEON FROM A MACHINE INTO THE AIR

AND SO YOU TRY TO SHOOT IT.

NO, I DON'T THINK WE'RE MISSING
ANYTHING. YEAH, I KNEW IT.

YOU SHOOT PIGEONS? CLAY PIGEONS.

WHEN YOU HIT THEM, DOES
BLOOD COME OUT? THEY'RE CLAY.

AND WHY DO YOU LIKE TO DO THIS?

I DON'T KNOW. MY DAD SHOT
SKEET WHEN HE WAS MY AGE,

AND SO HE WANTS TO
PASS THE TRADITION DOWN.

WHAT IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY
HIT A REAL PIGEON?

YEAH, DOES THAT COUNT?
THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED.

WHAT IF A CLAY PIGEON
HITS A REAL PIGEON?

DOES THAT COUNT? YEAH.

I'VE ONLY DONE THIS ONCE.

HEY, IF YOU GET REALLY GOOD,

DO YOU MOVE ON TO OTHER ANIMALS,

LIKE CLAY CHICKENS
AND CLAY SHEEP?

WE DIDN'T GO SKEET
SHOOTING. I JUST MADE IT ALL UP.

OH, HEY, I GOT TO GO IN HERE.

OH, WHAT DO YOU NEED?

JUST GENERAL STUFF.

YOU GUYS GO AND BE IN LOVE.

WE'LL SEE YOU BACK
AT THE HOUSE. BYE.

WHAT IF YOU SHOOT THE PERSON
WHO THROWS THE PIGEON UP IN THE AIR?

WOULD THAT COUNT?

OH.

DAH. SORRY.

NO, NO. I HIT IT. I SHOULD HAVE
SIGNALED OR HONKED OR SOMETHING.

MY FAULT. OK.

WELL, UM,

I GUESS IT WAS INEVITABLE,
US RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER.

IT'S A VERY TINY COMMUNITY.

I GUESS SO.

HOW'S THE DINER?

IT'S STILL THERE.

YES. I KNEW THAT.

I'M ABLE TO EMPIRICALLY,
WITH MY EYES, UH...

HEY, LUKE, DO YOU
THINK WE COULD...

I GOT TO GET BACK.

OK. RIGHT.

RIGHT.

I'LL GET IT.

HI, GRANDMA. HELLO, RORY.

THANKS FOR SEEING ME
ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

I'M THRILLED TO SEE
YOU ON NO NOTICE.

SO TELL ME, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

YOU WERE SO
MYSTERIOUS ON THE PHONE.

I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING IN PERSON.

WELL, COME IN, COME IN.

WOW.

IT'S AN ENGLISH TEA SERVICE.

ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES OF
OUR HAVING AN ENGLISH MAID.

THAT, AND THE FACT
THAT SHE SPEAKS ENGLISH.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

BUT IT'S TEATIME,
AND I WANTED TO...

OH, NO. BEATRICE, I TOLD
YOU TO DOILY-LINE THE PLATES.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
DOILY-LINE THE PLATES.

HELLO.

WE'RE IN THE DINING ROOM.

OH. OH, RORY,
YOU'RE ALREADY HERE.

YOU'RE OUT OF BREATH.

I RAN OVER FROM THE OFFICE.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO RUN.

WELL, YOUR GRANDMOTHER SAID YOU
HAD SOMETHING TO DISCUSS WITH US.

THAT CERTAINLY JUSTIFIES A RUN.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, SIT. SIT.

POUR THE TEA, BEATRICE.

UM, ACTUALLY, BEATRICE,

COULD YOU HOLD OFF
ON POURING THE TEA

FOR JUST A MINUTE?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

GRANDMA, GRANDPA, I WOULD
LIKE TO PROPOSE AN IDEA TO YOU.

NOW, YOU CAN GO FOR IT OR NOT.

IT'S ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.

BUT I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO PROMISE
ME THAT YOU WILL NOT GET UPSET.

WE WON'T GET UPSET.

AND THAT YOU WILL TRY
TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

ALL RIGHT.

AND THAT YOU WILL LET ME FINISH MY
PRESENTATION COMPLETELY BEFORE YOU RESPOND.

SHE'S BEEN HANGING
AROUND YOU FAR TOO MUCH.

RORY, WE ACCEPT YOUR TERMS.

PLEASE PROCEED.

THANK YOU.

FIRST, LET ME START BY SAYING
THAT MOM DOESN'T KNOW I'M HERE.

SHE'D PROBABLY BE PRETTY
MAD IF SHE KNEW THAT I WAS,

BUT I FEEL THAT
THIS IS IMPORTANT.

AS YOU KNOW, MOM'S BEEN
GOING TO BUSINESS SCHOOL

AT THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE
OUT HERE FOR 3 YEARS NOW.

I BELIEVE SHE'S MENTIONED IT.

WELL, SHE'S DOING VERY
WELL AND SHE'S FINISHING UP.

ACTUALLY, SHE'S
GRADUATING THURSDAY,

AND THERE'S GOING
TO BE A CEREMONY.

AND I THINK IT WOULD MEAN A LOT
TO HER IF YOU GUYS WERE THERE.

IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE
IT WOULD, BUT IT'S TRUE.

WELL, IF IT WOULD
MEAN SO MUCH TO HER,

THEN WHY DIDN'T SHE
INVITE US HERSELF?

BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T
THINK YOU'D WANT TO GO.

AND I GET THAT, BUT I
THINK IT'S A MISTAKE.

I HAD A SCHOOL THING ONCE.

AND I WASN'T SURE IF MOM WOULD
WANT TO GO, SO I DIDN'T INVITE HER.

IT WAS MY KINDERGARTEN
SALUTE TO VEGETABLES PAGEANT,

AND I WAS BROCCOLI AND I DID A TAP
DANCE WITH A GUY THAT WAS PLAYING BEETS.

AND... AND THE ENTIRE NUMBER, I
WAS JUST THINKING, "MOM'S NOT HERE."

AND IT WAS MY FAULT THAT
SHE WASN'T THERE, AND...

WELL, IT WAS KIND OF
A LIFE LESSON FOR ME.

NOW, IF THE THOUGHT OF GOING
TO MOM'S GRADUATION UPSETS YOU,

OR MAKES YOU UNHAPPY, OR
UNCOMFORTABLE IN ANY WAY,

THEN PLEASE DON'T GO.

BECAUSE THIS IS AN
IMPORTANT NIGHT FOR MOM,

AND IF YOU GO, YOU SHOULD GO
UNDER THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES.

THOSE ARE THE TICKETS.

IT'S THURSDAY, 7:00 P.M.

IT'S INDOORS, SO
WEATHER'S NOT AN ISSUE.

YOU CAN USE THEM OR NOT.

NO HARD FEELINGS. DO
WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST.

AND, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I
WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU WOULD KEEP THIS
CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE 3 OF US.

THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

THANKS VERY MUCH
FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

NOW I BELIEVE I HAVE TIME FOR
A SCONE BEFORE MY BUS LEAVES.

BEATRICE, THE TEA, PLEASE.

EMILY, THESE LOOK DELICIOUS.

SO, RICHARD, HOW
WAS YOUR DAY TODAY?

♪

I AM FEELING SO GOOD,
SISTER, BECAUSE IT'S OVER.

NO MORE FINALS,
NO MORE STUDYING,

NO MORE SCHOOL.
THE PRESSURE'S OFF.

DO YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH PRESSURE I FELT?

DO YOU?

ALL LAST WEEK, I FELT LIKE A
GIANT MAN AND HIS BROTHER

WERE SITTING ON MY CHEST.

A GIANT MAN? AND
HIS GIANT BROTHER.

DID THEY HAVE
NAMES? CLEM AND CLEM.

HUH, SAME NAMES.

WHICH DID NOT REFLECT WELL ON
THE IMAGINATION OF THEIR MOTHERS'.

MOTHER. MOTHERS.
THERE WERE 2 CLEMS.

YEAH, 'CAUSE THEY WERE BROTHERS.

YES, SO THEY HAD MOTHERS.

YOU'RE DRAWING ME INTO
YOUR DRUNKEN WORLD.

IT'S NOT A BAD PLACE TO
BE, MY FRIEND, MMM-MMM.

TANK'S EMPTY.

HEY, WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT?

THIS, UH, LIFE PLAN BOOK THING.

A LITTLE GIFT FOR THE GRADS
FROM THE HAPPY PEOPLE

AT HARTFORD COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

HEY, HOW MANY MARGARITAS
IS TOO MANY MARGARITAS?

UM, IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER
WHERE THE LIVING ROOM IS.

HA, I'M STILL GOOD.

OK, HERE'S AN INTERESTING
QUESTION FOR YOU.

"HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO HOW
CHILDREN WILL WORK INTO YOUR FUTURE PLANS?"

OH, WELL.

UH, THEY'RE NOT GONNA STAND
IN MY WAY, THAT'S FOR SURE.

I MEAN, I PLAN TO
HAVE SOME, OF COURSE,

BUT I'M JUST GONNA
KNOCK 'EM OUT,

AND, UH, HAVE NANNY
CATCH 'EM AND CARE FOR 'EM,

MAKE SURE MICK JAGGER
DOESN'T COME ANYWHERE NEAR 'EM,

AND THEN JUST RETURN
'EM TO ME WHEN THEY'RE 21.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?

YOU ARE MY FAVORITE
ELDEST CHILD.

YOU GET TO STAY BY MY SIDE.

WELL, I FEEL SO PRIVILEGED.

I'LL GET IT.

HEY, NOW, IF THAT'S
MICK JAGGER, HANG UP,

AND BLOW THAT
WHISTLE I GAVE YOU.

HELLO.

HI.

HELLO?

HI.

IS THIS A BAD TIME?

UM, NO. JUST HOLD ON A SEC.

UM, THE MUSIC. UH,
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HEY. YOU SAID THAT ALREADY.

I DID. YOU'RE RIGHT. SORRY.

SO, WHAT'S UP?

NOTHING.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

SAME.

SO, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?

NOTHING MUCH, JUST HANGIN'
OUT, IN THE PARK MOSTLY.

CENTRAL PARK?

WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK. OH.

IT'S COOLER. YES.

IT'S WHERE DAVID
LEE ROTH GOT BUSTED.

RIGHT, RIGHT. I HOPE HE'S
GOT IT TOGETHER NOW.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT
A PARTY GOIN' ON THERE.

NO, IT'S JUST ME AND MY MOM.

RIGHT.

OK, WELL, I'M GONNA GO.

THIS IS LONG DISTANCE.

YEAH, IT IS LONG DISTANCE.

SO, SEE YOU.

YEAH. SEE YOU.

♪ WALK, TALK ♪

♪ IN THE NAME OF LOVE ♪

MOM? WHAT'S WRONG?

I'M EXPERIENCING FRUSTRATION.

AT THE GENERAL STATE OF THINGS IN
THE WORLD OR SOMETHING IN PARTICULAR?

WHAT DO YOU WEAR
TO A GRADUATION?

A CAP AND GOWN. DUH.
I MEAN UNDERNEATH.

WHATEVER YOU WANT.
THE GOWN WILL COVER IT.

IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN
THAT. I DON'T WANT TO OVERDRESS

SO THAT I'M SWEATING IF
IT'S HOT IN THE AUDITORIUM.

BUT IF I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ON
AND IT'S COLD, THEN I'LL FREEZE.

IT IS COMPLICATED,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU OVER THINK IT.

AND I NEED A HELPFUL COMMENT.

TAKE LIGHT LAYERS. WEAR YOUR
TURQUOISE-AND-TAN DRESS YOU JUST GOT.

IT'S COOL AND IT WILL LOOK
GOOD WITHOUT YOUR GOWN ON.

AND WEAR YOUR TURQUOISE
VINTAGEY SWEATER OVER IT.

BECAUSE IT WILL LOOK
GREAT WITH THE DRESS,

AND IT'LL KEEP YOU WARM IF
IT'S COLD IN THE AUDITORIUM.

YOU ARE A FASHION GENIUS. YOU
TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW.

MY BRAIN'S NOT WORKING TODAY.
YOU'RE EXCITED. IT'S A BIG DAY.

WHAT TIME ARE YOU GETTING THERE?

I HAVE NEWSPAPER STUFF AFTER SCHOOL.
- 00.

AND WE'LL GO OUT TO EAT
AFTER? ANYPLACE. AND IT'S ON ME.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

YOU'RE A GRADUATE.
YOU GET TO BE PAMPERED.

OK. THEN I'D LIKE TO GO TO CHATEAU
JEAN GEORGES LA JEAN GEORGES IN PARIS.

I'LL LOOK IT UP IN DAGGIT AND
BOOK THE CONCORDE. I GOT TO GO.

OK, I GOT TO GET READY.

WAIT, WAIT, I WANNA SEE MY
LITTLE GRADUATE ONE MORE TIME

BEFORE THE BIG EVENT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO I LOOK LIKE I'M
READY TO MAKE MY WAY IN THE WORLD?

YES, IF ALL ELSE FAILS,
YOU CAN MARRY RICH.

I LOVE THAT WE ALWAYS
HAVE THAT OPTION.

WHAT'LL YOU DO WITH YOUR HAIR?

I GOT THE CURLING
IRON WARMING UP.

MOM, THE CAP. YOU PUT IT ON, IT'S
GONNA SMOOSH THE CURLS DOWN.

SMOOSH THE CURLS DOWN.
YOU'RE A GENIUS. SEE YOU TONIGHT.

HEY, TRY TO SEAT US NEXT TO
A CELEBRITY ON THE CONCORDE,

LIKE STING OR
SCREECH OR SOMEONE.

I'LL TRY.

SO, I TOLD HER, "LOOK, MISSY..."

YOU CALLED YOUR ADVISOR "MISSY?"

IT WAS ATTITUDINAL.

I SAID, "I'M NOT TAKING AP
CALCULUS FROM HENEMEN.

"I'M GOING WITH BRANCH.

"BRANCH IS A GRADUATE OF M.I.T, AND
HENEMEN WENT TO BERKELEY. BERKELEY.

HE MAY HAVE MAJORED IN MATH, BUT
WHAT DID HE MINOR IN, BEAN SPROUTS?"

FORGET IT. AND I'M TELLING MY ADVISOR
ALL THIS AND I LOOK IN HER TRASH CAN,

AND THERE'S THIS HALF-EATEN
BANANA IN THERE. NOTHING ELSE.

AND I PICTURED HER SITTING
IN THIS SHOEBOX OF AN OFFICE,

EATING A BANANA ALL BY HERSELF,

AND I ALMOST FELT SORRY FOR HER.

THEN SHE QUESTIONED MY JUDGMENT
ABOUT BERKELEY, SO I EVISCERATED HER.

I MEAN, SHE WAS
WELLING UP AT THE END,

BUT SHE HAD THE DECENCY
TO HOLD IT IN UNTIL I WAS GONE.

I HAVE ENOUGH FACULTY RECOMMENDATIONS
TO RUN FOR STUDENT COUNCIL

SO I DON'T NEED HER ANYWAY.
MY LOCKER'S THIS WAY.

- ARE THEY CLOSED?
- THEY'RE CLOSED.

ARE YOU SURE? I'M SURE.

OK, ONE SECOND,
AND OPEN, OPEN, OPEN.

YOU MADE ME A TASSEL-HAT CAKE.

FILLED WITH 2 POUNDS OF CRUSHED
CHOCOLATE-COVERED ESPRESSO BEANS.

YOU'RE EVIL. AND
YOU'RE GRADUATING.

YES, I AM, AREN'T I?

HERE. HMM, OH.

HEY, I BROUGHT THOSE PICTURES YOU
WANTED TO SEE OF MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION.

HAND THEM OVER, LADY.

OK, BUT DON'T LAUGH.

I PROMISE.

I WAS YOUNGER
THEN, NOT AS REFINED.

HA, YOU'RE STONED.

TOTALLY.

I THOUGHT YOU HATED THAT.

IT WAS PEER PRESSURE.

IN MY SCHOOL, IF GILBERT
GARCIA OFFERED YOU A TOKE,

YOU TOOK IT OR TOOK OFF.

WELL, I THINK GILBERT
HAD A SNAPPY SLOGAN.

OH, I WAS NAUSEOUS ALL DAY.

YOUR PARENTS?

FOR THE TRADITIONAL, PARENTS
FLANKING THEIR GRADUATE CHILD.

DON'T THEY LOOK PROUD?

THEY DO. VERY PROUD.

WHAT IS THAT?

OH, IT'S PICTURES OF SOOKIE'S
HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION.

WHAT WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL
GRADUATION LIKE, MICHEL?

IT WAS DIGNIFIED, AS MOST
FRENCH CEREMONIES ARE.

POETRY WAS READ, A STRING QUARTET
PLAYED, A BALLERINA PERFORMED.

YOU DRANK BOONE'S
FARM OUT OF A BOTA BAG

AND KNOCKED A BEACH BALL AROUND?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HALF OF WHAT YOU SAY.

THAT'S WHY WE WORK.

HELLO.

HEY, LOR, HOW YOU DOIN'?

CHRISTOPHER. I'M
GOOD. I'M EXCITED.

YOU SHOULD BE. IT'S A BIG
DAY. DID YOU GET MY PRESENT?

WHAT PRESENT?

A BASKET. YOU SHOULD'VE
GOTTEN IT BY NOW.

HEY, DID A BASKET COME FOR ME?

MMM-HMM. IT CAME. IT WAS HEAVY.

I FELT A TWINGE, SO I DROPPED
IT FOR HEALTH REASONS.

IT'S PROBABLY STILL INTACT.

MY CRACKED STAFF HAS JUST
INFORMED ME OF ITS ARRIVAL.

I'M GOING TO FIND IT.

HUH! WOW.

I PUT IT TOGETHER MYSELF.

AND IT'S ALL FOR ME?

ALL FOR YOU.

CHRIS. WOW.

HA!

A $25 SAVINGS BOND.

THAT'S A LONG-TERM INVESTMENT.

DON'T TOUCH IT FOR 30
YEARS, YOU'RE LOOKING AT $45.

OH, A YOUTH HOSTEL CARD.

FOR THE YOUNG GIRL WHO DOESN'T MIND
SHARING A BATHROOM WITH 50 STRANGERS.

"WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE?

A PRACTICAL MANUAL
FOR JOB HUNTERS."

HELPING YOU ANSWER
THE 2 QUESTIONS:

WHAT YOU WANNA DO AND
WHERE YOU WANNA DO IT.

A D.V.D. OF THE GRADUATE.
GOT TO HAVE THAT.

OOH, THE PORTABLE NIETZSCHE.

LIGHT, CHEERY READING.

AN APPLICATION TO
JOIN THE ARMED FORCES.

WELL, IF YOUR DREAMS DON'T PAN OUT AND
NIETZSCHE'S NO HELP, IT'S A VIABLE OPTION.

AND SOMETHING IN A
NICE LITTLE VELVET BOX.

OOH.

A NECKLACE. THE PEARL
ALMOST LOOKS REAL.

IT BETTER LOOK VERY
REAL, BECAUSE IT IS.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

THIS IS NOT A FUNNY GIFT.

CHRISTOPHER, THIS IS
EXTREMELY NOT FUNNY.

THIS... THIS IS
TOTALLY HUMORLESS.

IT'S... IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME, LOR.

WITH EVERYTHING YOU DO, AND
RAISING RORY THE WAY YOU DID,

YOU'RE SUPERWOMAN. WOW.

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

I WISH I COULD BE THERE.
TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES FOR ME.

OH, THE CAMERA. I
FORGOT THE CAMERA.

LOOK IN THE BASKET.

OH.

YOU THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING.

HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.

THANKS.

YOU, TOO. BYE.

COULD YOU...

UM, EXCUSE ME.
SIR, DO YOU KNOW...

EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE WASHINGTON...

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.

WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK?

END OF FIFTH.

THANK YOU.

EXCUSE ME. WHERE'S FIFTH?

HI.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

GOOD. HOW ABOUT YOU?

GOOD.

YOU HUNGRY?

STARVED.

I KNOW A PLACE.

I FEEL VERY URBAN TODAY.

OH, YEAH, THE PLAID
JUST SCREAMS URBAN.

I THINK I LOOK LIKE A NATIVE.

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW MANHATTAN?

I'VE BEEN HERE A FEW TIMES.

WE SAW THE BANGLES HERE.

WHEN WAS THAT, 20 YEARS AGO?

IT WAS A REUNION,
AND THEY WERE GREAT.

YEAH, THEY'RE OK.

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO,
MOM DROVE US IN TO SHOP.

AND SHE COULDN'T FIND
A GOOD PARKING PLACE,

AND ALL OF THE PARKING
LOTS WERE TOTAL RIP-OFFS.

SO SHE KEPT MAKING
U-TURNS AND CUTTING OFF TAXIS

AND WE WERE BEING SCREAMED AT
IN SO MANY DIFFERENT LANGUAGES

THAT WE JUST TURNED
AROUND AND DROVE HOME

AND BOUGHT A HUMMEL AT THE
CURIO SHOP IN STARS HOLLOW.

OH, VERY ADVENTUROUS.

I'M JUST SAYING I'M NO
STRANGER TO THE BIG APPLE.

YOU ARE IF YOU'RE
CALLING IT THE BIG APPLE.

SO I DON'T HAVE THE LINGO DOWN
YET, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE THE ATTITUDE.

YOU DO, HUH? OH, YEAH.

WHEN I WAS GETTING A
LOCKER FOR MY BACKPACK,

AT THE BUS STOP
THERE WAS THIS GUY

AND HE WAS JUST STANDING
THERE STARING AT ME.

AND INSTEAD OF IGNORING HIM, I JUST
FIXED HIM WITH A REALLY WITHERING STARE.

THAT I'VE GOT TO SEE. NO.

OH, COME ON. LET ME SEE
YOUR WITHERING STARE.

IT'S DANGEROUS. I
COULD HURT YOU.

I'VE BEEN HURT BEFORE.

NO.

I'M DISAPPOINTED.

SO, YOUR ARM'S OK?

YEAH. IT LOOKS WORSE THAN IT IS.

I LIKE THIS EMILY CHICK.
A FRIEND OF YOURS?

SHE'S A FRIEND TO ALL
OF US DISPOSSESSED.

SO HERE'S OUR LUNCH PLACE.

A HOT-DOG STAND?

YEAH, I EAT HERE EVERYDAY.

IT'S NOTHING FANCY, BUT...

NO, I LOVE IT. IT'S PERFECT.

GOOD.

ONE WITH EVERYTHING ON IT.

MAKE THAT 2, PLEASE.

SO, UH, HOW'S...

LUKE?

YEAH.

OK.

HE WENT FISHING.

FISHING?

YEAH. HE DIDN'T CATCH
ANYTHING THOUGH.

HE PROBABLY USED THE WRONG BAIT.

YEAH.

THAT'S A COMMON FISHING BLUNDER.

SO HE'S GOOD?

YEAH, HE'S GOOD.

I CAN TELL HIM HELLO
FOR YOU IF YOU WANT.

WHATEVER.

THANK YOU.

OH, MY GOD. THIS IS REALLY GOOD.

I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.

SO, HOW MUCH TIME YOU GOT?

I GOT A BIT.

THERE'S A RECORD STORE
YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT.

IT'S RUN BY THIS INSANE FREAK
WHO'S A WALKING ENCYCLOPEDIA

FOR EVERY PUNK AND GARAGE
BAND RECORD EVER MADE.

CATALOG NUMBERS. HE'S CRAZY.

THE PLACE IS RIGHT
OUT OF HIGH FIDELITY.

LET'S GO. OK.

WHERE YOU GOING?

SUBWAY.

I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA WALK.

IT'S 15 BLOCKS.

COME ON, I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.

DO THEY ALLOW HOT
DOGS IN THE SUBWAY?

YOU ARE SO AN OUT-OF-TOWNER.

♪ DRIVING IN NEW YORK CITY ♪

EXCUSE ME. HI. I'M ONE
OF THE GRADUATES.

WOW. YOU'RE HOURS EARLY.

YEAH.

WELL, I JUST WANTED
TO BEAT TRAFFIC

AND HAVE TIME TO
GET READY AND RELAX,

AND ALSO I'VE HEARD THE EARLY
BIRD GETS THE UNWRINKLED GOWNS

WITHOUT THE
MYSTERIOUS STAINS IN 'EM.

THIS IS TRUE. TAKE YOUR PICK.

THANK YOU.

THIS IS SO EXCITING.
ISN'T THIS EXCITING?

THIS IS MY 8TH
YEAR OF DOING THIS.

SO NOT SO EXCITING
FOR YOU. GOT IT.

HUH.

YOU'RE BEING SO CRYPTIC.

DO YOU NEED A POWER
SOURCE OR NOT?

BUT MY BATTERIES
ARE ALL FULLY CHARGED.

IT JUST DEPENDS ON
HOW FAST THEY DEPLETE.

SO WE NEED ONE JUST IN CASE.

MOM.

LORELAI, IT'S HOURS
BEFORE THE CEREMONY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M JUST GETTING... I'M... I'M
SORRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS?

I SHOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS? A
MOTHER CAN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS?

NO, I JUST MEAN...
YOU'RE GRADUATING.

I KNOW. SO WE'RE HERE
TO SEE YOU GRADUATE.

THIS IS RAUL.

HEY. SO YOU AND RAUL ARE
JUST HERE TO SEE ME GRADUATE.

DON'T BE SILLY.

YOUR FATHER WILL
BE JOINING ME LATER.

MY FATHER?

YES. REMEMBER
HIM? TALL, BOW TIE.

I REMEMBER DAD, MOM. I JUST...

HA, RORY TOLD YOU.

YES. THAT'S OK, ISN'T IT?

IT'S A LITTLE LATE IF IT'S NOT.

OH, NO, IT'S PERFECTLY
FINE THAT YOU'RE HERE.

ABSOLUTELY. I'M JUST SURPRISED.

WHO ARE YOU? I'M RAUL.

I JUST TOLD YOU THAT.

YES, WELL, DID RORY
INVITE RAUL, TOO?

RAUL IS MY CAMERAMAN.

CAMERAMAN?

HE'S GONNA BE FILMING THE
CEREMONY FOR US. HE'S VERY TALENTED.

HE SCREENED AN INDEPENDENT
FILM OF HIS AS AN AUDITION.

WELCOME TO SCABLAND.

IT WAS DISGUSTING, BUT
BEAUTIFULLY PHOTOGRAPHED.

IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE DISGUSTING.

I'M SURE IT WAS.

MOM, ALL THIS STUFF.

EXCUSE ME. ALL OF THIS
EQUIPMENT, IT CAN'T BE HERE.

WELL, WE WON'T LEAVE ALL OF THIS
EQUIPMENT HERE FOR EVERYBODY TO TRIP OVER.

WE ARE NOT CRETINS.

SHE'S HANDLING IT.

RIGHT, MOM, YOU ARE HANDLING IT?

OK, THIS LIGHTING SUCKS.

CAN WE DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THE LIGHTING?

I DON'T THINK SO,
MA'AM. I... I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S A COMMUNITY COLLEGE, WE'LL
JUST HAVE TO COPE. THINK DOCUMENTARY.

MOM, PLEASE.

PEOPLE WILL BE
SHOWING UP HERE SOON.

LORELAI, I'M PERFECTLY
CAPABLE OF HANDLING THIS.

NO ONE WILL BE INCONVENIENCED.

OK. I'M JUST GONNA LET
EVERYONE DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS

BECAUSE I NEED TO RELAX
AND GET A CUP OF COFFEE

AND... AND MAYBE HAMMER
A NAIL INTO MY HEAD.

YOU'RE NOT NEEDED HERE, LORELAI.

GO GET YOUR COFFEE. RELAX.

YOU'RE GOING TO REDO YOUR
MAKEUP LATER, AREN'T YOU?

MAYBE AN IRISH COFFEE.

♪

I HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD
OF HALF THESE BANDS.

I LOVE THAT ABOUT THIS PLACE.

GOD, LANE WOULD
WANT TO LIVE HERE.

WHO'S SLINT?

I DON'T KNOW.

GRUNGE BAND OUT OF KENTUCKY.

2 ALBUMS PLUS A
DOUBLE "A" SIDE SINGLE.

DISBANDED IN '94.

THANKS.

♪ 10 MILLION POUNDS OF SLUDGE
FROM NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY ♪

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT?

LOOK.

THE GO-GO'S.

YOU MUST HAVE THAT ONE.

NO. FOR MY MOM.

THIS WAS HER FAVORITE
GROUP WHEN SHE WAS MY AGE.

AND IT'S SIGNED BY BELINDA.

THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT
GRADUATION PRESENT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ALL
WEEK LONG, AND I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING.

AND NOW I HAVE BELINDA.

GRADUATION?

OH, FROM COLLEGE.
FROM BUSINESS CLASSES.

I'M SURPRISED SHE
HAS TIME FOR ANYTHING

EXCEPT LIGHTING DARTS ON FIRE
AND THROWING THEM AT MY PICTURE.

WELL, IT'S NOT A
LOT OF TIME, BUT...

UH-HUH, GO ON.
GET IT. SHE'LL LIKE IT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BRINGING ME HERE.

THIS WAS FATE.

I THINK IT WAS.

AND IN RETURN, I JUST MIGHT
SHOW YOU MY WITHERING STARE.

I'M A LUCKY MAN.

♪ AND IF THE GROUND'S NOT COLD ♪

♪ IF THE GROUND'S NOT COLD ♪

♪ EVERYTHING IS GONNA BURN ♪

I THINK THIS ONE'S MINE.

YEP. THE SIGN SAYS "BOONEVILLE."

EXCUSE ME. I'M SO
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

WHICH WAY IS 44TH?

OH, UM, THAT WAY.

GREAT. THANKS.

I GOT ASKED DIRECTIONS.

I SAW.

HE TOOK ME FOR A
NATIVE. THAT'S SO COOL.

THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.

44TH IS THE OTHER WAY.

OH, NO. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

OH, MAN, I SHOULD GO FIND HIM.

HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT WHEN HE SEES
ALL THE NUMBERS GETTING SMALLER

INSTEAD OF BIGGER.

HE STILL THOUGHT I WAS
A NATIVE. THAT'S COOL.

I'M YOUR WITNESS.

WELL, I SHOULD GO.

OK.

I GOT TO GO TO MY
MOM'S GRADUATION.

AND GIVE HER BELINDA.

AND GIVE HER BELINDA.

GO ON. I'LL CHECK ON THE GUY.

I'LL MAKE SURE HE'S NOT WANDERING
AROUND LOOKING FOR 44TH.

WHY DID YOU COME HERE?

WHAT?

I SAID, WHY DID YOU COME HERE?

I MEAN, YOU DITCHED
SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING.

THAT'S SO NOT YOU.
WHY'D YOU DO IT?

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE.

OH.

GOODBYE, RORY.

BYE, JESS.

GREAT. I'M WOODY
ALLEN IN ANNIE HALL.

YOU THOUGHT AHEAD. SMART.

OH, THE MIRROR. YEAH.

I NEVER LEAVE HOME
WITHOUT ALL THE ESSENTIALS:

MIRROR, MAKEUP,
PICTURE OF SHAUN CASSIDY.

I'M DONE. DO YOU WANT TO USE IT?

THANKS.

OH, DON'T I LOOK CHARMING?

YOU LOOK GREAT.

I LOOKED BETTER. I HAD TO RUN
HERE STRAIGHT FROM WORK. KINKO'S.

HEY, LIZA. THAT
GETS ME THINKIN'.

MAYBE YOU AND I OUGHT TO DO A LITTLE
REPRODUCING AFTER THE CEREMONY.

CLEVER. DON'T BE A SNOT.

SHUT UP.

THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND, ZACH.

OH, SURE.

OF COURSE WE'RE BREAKING UP 'CAUSE
WE'RE TRANSFERRING TO DIFFERENT SCHOOLS.

HE'S GOING TO FLORIDA STATE.

I'M GOING TO UMASS.

ALTHOUGH I'M GONNA
MISS THIS PLACE.

I'M NOT. THIS PLACE
STUNK. IT'S BUSH-LEAGUE.

WHY'D YOU GO HERE?

MY PARENTS, WISE
INVESTORS THAT THEY ARE,

COULDN'T AFFORD ANYTHING ELSE.

YEAH, THAT 2.0 GRADE-POINT
AVERAGE DIDN'T REASON INTO THINGS.

SHUT UP. BETWEEN THE LINES.

GO DIE.

ARE YOU SURE YOU TWO DON'T
WANNA GIVE IT ANOTHER GO,

'CAUSE YOU'RE DARLING TOGETHER?

THANKS FOR THE MIRROR.

MY PLEASURE.

HEY, A BUNCH OF US ARE GOING
TO SHAKY'S AFTERWARDS FOR PIZZA.

YOU WANT TO COME?

OH, I'M GOING OUT WITH MY DAUGHTER
AFTER, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

OK, YOU GUYS ARE NOT
GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

THERE'S SOME BLUE-BLOODED
RICH WOMAN OUT THERE,

SETTING UP PROFESSIONAL FILM
EQUIPMENT LIKE SHE'S SHOOTING A MOVIE.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

WHOSE MOTHER IS IT?

I DON'T KNOW. LITTLE PRECIOUS MUST
BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE THOUGH.

I HATE PEOPLE WITH MONEY.

SO DO I, WITH EVERY
FIBER OF MY BEING.

ME, TOO. MONEY PEOPLE.

EXCUSE ME.

YES?

ARE WE LEAVING SOON?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

WELL, SHOULD YOU HAVE AN IDEA?

THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT,
CLOSED THE INTERSTATE.

ALL OUTBOUND BUSSES
WERE TOLD TO STAND DOWN.

OH, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN WE'RE
GONNA BE ALLOWED TO STAND UP AGAIN?

SOON, I HOPE. I
HATE MISSIN' DINNER.

YEAH. ME, TOO.

THERE'S OUR LITTLE GRADUATE.

OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT GOWN.

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE
THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.

AH, ALL BIG AND STONY?

NO. YOU LOOK AMAZING.

HMM, YOU LOOK VERY G.Q.

OH, THANKS TO MY BEST NEW
FRIEND ERMENEGILDO ZEGNA.

DON'T YOU LOVE HOW HE
CAN PRONOUNCE IT NOW?

VERY COSMOPOLITAN.

HE GOT IT FOR THE
REHEARSAL DINNER.

IT'S HIS FIRST REAL SUIT.

AND NOT MY LAST. I LOOK HOT.

SO YOU KNOW THAT
EMILY'S OUT THERE, RIGHT?

OH, SHH. WHY SHH?

IT'S A LONG STORY. JUST
DO ME A FAVOR. SURE.

KEEP AN EYE ON MY PARENTS.

MAKE SURE THEY DON'T
DISRUPT ANYTHING.

MY MOTHER DOESN'T BEHEAD ANYONE.

MY FATHER DOESN'T SNORE TOO
LOUDLY WHEN HE FALLS SLEEP.

THEY WON'T DO
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

I'M SORRY. HAVE
YOU NOT MET THEM?

WHY WOULD THEY COME AND DO THAT?

THEY'RE HERE BECAUSE
RORY INVITED THEM.

NO. YES.

THEY CAN'T SAY NO
TO THAT LITTLE FACE.

IT'S LIKE HITTING A PUPPY
WITH A ROLLED-UP NEWSPAPER.

HEY, YOU GUYS ARE
NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

YOU'RE MR. ANNOUNCEMENT
GUY TODAY.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA PIPE
IN EVERY TIME I TALK?

CAN IT. STUFF IT.

THEY'RE IN LOVE. CLEARLY.

SO MRS. GOT BUCKS OUT THERE
NOT ONLY HAS A CAMERAMAN,

SHE'S GOT A SOUND GUY, TOO.

OH, NO. IT'S LIKE A BAZ
LUHRMANN MOVIE OUT THERE.

THAT'S EMILY, RIGHT?

RICH PEOPLE FEEL SO ENTITLED.

YES, DAMN THEM.

I SWEAR I SAW HER WIPE
HER FACE WITH A $100 BILL.

WE SHOULD LINE 'EM
UP AGAINST A WALL.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

IS LORELEI GILMORE HERE?

YES.

OH, GOOD. HAVE A LOOK
AT THESE, WILL YOU?

WOW. PRETTY.

LOOK THEM OVER
AND TAKE YOUR PICK.

WHAT FOR? TO WEAR.

ARE THEY FOR SALE?

NO. THEY'RE PAID FOR.

THESE ARE FROM YOUR
MOTHER, EMILY GILMORE.

WOW. RITZY.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO WEAR A
CORSAGE. THEY'RE ALL PAID FOR.

REALLY. IT'S TOO MUCH. YOUR
MOTHER WANTS YOU TO PICK ONE.

REALLY, IT'S OK.

SHE'LL JUST COME
BACK HERE HERSELF.

THIS ONE, THANKS. GOOD CHOICE.

THE CAMERAMAN SAID THAT
WOULD LOOK BEST ON FILM.

SO YOU'RE THE RICH GIRL.

MAYBE. I-I'M NOT RICH,

BUT MY PARENTS HAVE MONEY.

BUT I'M TOTALLY SELF-SUFFICIENT.

I TAKE NOTHING FROM THEM

EXCEPT THIS CORSAGE AND
MY DAUGHTER'S TUITIONS.

SO, ARE YOU GONNA STONE ME?

I SHOULD'VE GUESSED.
LOOK AT HER FRIENDS.

THEY'RE WEARIN'
SUITS THAT DRIP MONEY.

HEY, PAL, THIS WAS
30 PERCENT OFF.

SO THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO GET PIZZA 'CAUSE IT'S BELOW YOU?

OH, NO, NO, NO, LIZA.
PIZZA IS NOT BELOW ME.

BELIEVE ME, I LOVE
PIZZA. I EAT TONS OF PIZZA.

IT'S ONE OF MY 4
MAJOR FOOD GROUPS.

CANDY, POPCORN, AND PIZZA.

SEE. IT'S 2 OF MY FOOD GROUPS.

THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE PIZZA.

I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU.

ENJOY YOUR CHAMPAGNE AND
CAVIAR AT THE RITZ, YOUR HIGHNESS.

I AM NOT RICH. UGH!

MY PAGER.

MAYBE THIS SUIT
WAS A LITTLE MUCH.

YOU'RE A FOX. NOW, DON'T START.

NO. WHAT?

RORY'S RUNNING
LATE. LATE FROM WHAT?

SHE DOESN'T SAY.

SHE'LL BE HERE, BUT IF
SHE'S NOT HERE BY 7:00,

SHE'LL SNEAK IN THE BACK.

BUT THAT'S WEIRD.

SHE'LL BE HERE. DON'T WORRY.

I HOPE SO.

HOW ABOUT WE SIT IN BACK, KEEP AN
EYE OUT FOR HER, AND SAVE HER A SEAT.

THAT'D BE GREAT. CAN YOU
HANG ON TO ALL MY STUFF FOR ME?

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE
IT IN HERE. WILL DO.

THANK YOU. BYE.

OH, YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR
VALUABLES AROUND US POOR KIDS, HUH?

KNOCK IT OFF, ZACH.

YOU DON'T LOOK HAPPY.

I'M LATE.

THESE BUSSES ARE THE WORST.

WHY ARE WE MAKING SO MANY STOPS?

THE BUS DIDN'T MAKE STOPS
ON THE WAY INTO THE CITY.

WELL, THAT WAS
PROBABLY AN EXPRESS.

THIS IS A LOCAL. IT
MAKES A LOT OF STOPS.

I SHOULD HAVE
CHECKED THE SCHEDULE.

I SHOULD HAVE CHECKED TRAFFIC.

IMPULSIVE DEFINITELY
DOES NOT WORK FOR ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HMM.

OH, UH, IT'S FOR MY SPIT.

YOUR WHAT?

FOR MY SMOKELESS.

VICTOR DAVID FULLER.

NANCY BRENDA GATSON.

MAKING SURE THE CAMERA'S
GETTIN' YOUR BEST SIDE, PRINCESS?

ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THAT IS
THE BEST COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER

THEY CAN SCROUNGE UP?

I HOPE RAUL'S GETTING
ENOUGH SHOTS OF LORELAI.

I DON'T WANT THE WHOLE DAMN
CEREMONY AND NONE OF HER.

OH, NO, I DISAGREE. I HOPE
HE GETS EVERY INSPIRED WORD

ARTICULATED BY THE EAST COAST
MARKETING DIRECTOR OF PUP 'N' TACO.

RAUL.

OH, JEEZ.

JOHN LAWRENCE GILFER.

LORELAI VICTORIA GILMORE.

GRETCHEN GREEMAN.

OK.

HEY. MOM, DAD.

LORELAI.

WELL, I DID IT.

YES.

RAUL THINKS HE GOT
SOME GOOD FOOTAGE.

I SHOULD HOPE SO. HE
CERTAINLY COST ENOUGH.

I'M SURE IT'LL BE GREAT.

CONGRATULATIONS, LORELAI.

THANK YOU.

I'M GLAD YOU GUYS CAME.

YES, WELL, WE SHOULD GET GOING.

I GUESS WE'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW FOR DINNER.

HEY, WAIT.

AREN'T WE GONNA TAKE A PICTURE?

EXCUSE ME?

THE 3 OF US.

ME IN THE MIDDLE WITH THE GOWN.

YOU KNOW, THE TRADITIONAL POSE.

WELL, WE DON'T HAVE
A CAMERA WITH US.

OH, HOLD ON.

THAT'S A CAMERA?
THAT'S A CAMERA.

IT LOOKS LIKE A TOY.

OH, RAUL, WOULD YOU MIND?

SO.

OK, ON THE COUNT OF 1, 2, 3.

CHEESE.

THANK YOU.

YES, WELL, TOMORROW THEN.

ABSOLUTELY.

LET'S GO, RICHARD.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, EMILY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

PUT IT TOWARDS SOMETHING FUN.

THANK YOU, DADDY.

HEY, WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU.

YEAH. YOU WERE GREAT UP THERE.

THANKS, YOU GUYS. WHERE'S RORY?

NO RORY?

SHE CALLED YOUR
CELL, AND I ANSWERED.

AND SHE SAID SHE GOT HUNG UP ON SOMETHING
OR OTHER AND SHE'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.

HUNG UP? H-HUNG
UP WHERE? IS SHE OK?

SHE SAID SHE'S FINE.
SHE'S SORRY, BUT FINE.

OH.

AS LONG AS SHE'S OK, I GUESS.

UM, WELL, I SHOULD
PROBABLY GET THE GOWN BACK.

THANKS FOR COMING, SOOK,
MARCUS SCHENKENBERG.

YOU WANT TO GO OUT TO
EAT? CELEBRATE A LITTLE?

NAH, I THINK I'LL JUST
GO HOME TO RORY.

I THOUGHT SO.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

THANKS.

WAIT A MINUTE.

ASPIRINS INSTEAD
OF JORDAN ALMONDS?

BUT WE ALREADY
BOUGHT THE ALMONDS.

WOW, NOW, THAT'S THE
LONGEST ANYTHING'S EVER TAKEN.

MY FAMILY'S NOT
GONNA GET THE JOKE.

CAN'T WE JUST USE THE ALMONDS?

OK, SWEETIE, CALM DOWN.

I'M SO, SO SORRY.

YOU'RE OK, RIGHT? YES.

EVERYTHING'S WORKING.

YOUR WRIST IS OK. NOTHING
NEW IS BROKEN. I'M FINE.

ANYONE YOU KNOW, LIKE LANE OR
SOMEONE, SOMEBODY GET SICK TODAY

OR BREAK AN ARM THEMSELVES,
OR GET IN A CAR WRECK?

NO. OK, GOOD.

THEN I CAN GET PAST WORRIED
AND MOVE ON TO THE OTHER THINGS.

I KNOW YOU'RE HURT.
WELL, YOU BET I'M HURT.

RORY, I REALLY WANTED YOU
THERE TODAY. MORE THAN ANYTHING.

YOU'RE WHY I DID THIS STUPID
THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I KNOW. IT WAS A
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME THING.

YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE.

MY BEST FRIEND SHOULD HAVE BEEN
THERE. WHATEVER IT WAS THAT KEPT YOU,

YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN
OUT OF IT. AT LEAST THIS ONCE.

WAS IT SCHOOL?

IT WASN'T SCHOOL.

WAS IT PARIS? IT WASN'T PARIS.

W-WHAT WAS IT? IT WAS SO STUPID.

WELL, RORY, WHERE WERE
YOU? WHAT HAPPENED?

I CUT SCHOOL. YOU WHAT?

I CUT SCHOOL,
AND I GOT ON A BUS,

AND I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHY I DID IT.

I... I HAVE NO EXCUSE.

I WAS JUST STANDING OUTSIDE OF CHILTON,
AND I DON'T KNOW, I MUST HAVE HAD A STROKE.

WHAT DOES A STROKE FEEL LIKE?

I DON'T KNOW. NOT
GOOD, PROBABLY.

AND I LEFT SCHOOL AND I GOT
ON A BUS AND I WENT TO NEW YORK.

AND THAT'S IT. I'M GROUNDED
FOR 6 MONTHS OR 7.

AND NO T.V, NO
STEREO, NO READING.

IN FACT, TAKE ALL OF MY BOOKS
AWAY FROM ME AND LOCK THEM UP.

HOLD ON HERE, YOU
WENT TO NEW YORK?

AND NO MAGAZINES, EITHER.

AND I'M GOING TO DO ALL THE
HOUSEWORK. LAUNDRY, DISHES.

IN FACT, WE'RE GONNA START EATING
AT HOME SO THAT WE HAVE DISHES.

RORY, STOP. WHY DID
YOU GO TO NEW YORK?

TO SEE JESS.

BOY, DO YOU KNOW
HOW TO BURY THE LEAD.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU WENT TO NEW
YORK TO SEE JESS.

IT WAS A STROKE. IT
MADE ME SOMEONE ELSE.

AND AFTER HIS PHONE
CALL LAST NIGHT...

THAT WAS HIM?

IT DID SOMETHING TO
ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

IN FACT, YOU SHOULD TAKE
THE PHONE AWAY FROM ME, TOO.

THAT'S RIGHT.
ADD IT TO THE LIST.

NO BOOKS, NO MUSIC, NO PHONE.

OK, RORY. I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON.

YOU'RE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON.

I'M SICK. I'M ILL. I'M CRACKED.
THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.

IF I WERE TO WRITE THIS DOWN
IN MY DIARY AND I WOULD READ IT,

I WOULD BE LIKE,
"WHO IS THIS FREAK?

THIS ISN'T ME. THIS
ISN'T MY DIARY."

I WOULDN'T DO THIS. I WOULDN'T SKIP
SCHOOL WHEN I HAD FINALS COMING UP

TO GO SEE A GUY
THAT ISN'T EVEN MY GUY

AND END UP MISSING MY
MOTHER'S GRADUATION,

WHICH I WANTED
TO BE AT SO BADLY.

UM, THAT'S SOMEONE ELSE.

THAT'S SOMEONE FLIGHTY, AND
STUPID, AND DUMB, AND GIRLIE.

AND I MEAN, I MISSED
YOUR GRADUATION

WHICH IS THE WORST THING I
COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE.

I MEAN, I HURT YOU, AND I HAD
TO SPEND HOURS ON A STINKY BUS

NEXT TO A GUY THAT
WAS SPITTING INTO A CAN,

JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THE
MINUTES THAT WERE GOING BY

THAT I WASN'T AT
YOUR GRADUATION,

AND THEY WERE HURTING YOU AND
THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN HURTING YOU

BECAUSE IT WAS SO
SELFISH OF THIS PERSON

WHO WASN'T ME TO
DO WHAT SHE DID.

OK, MY, GOD. TAKE A BREATH.

I DON'T DESERVE A BREATH.

NO BREATHS. YOU SHOULD
ADD THAT TO THE LIST.

YOU SHOULD BEAT ME, GROUND ME,

TAKE THE PHONE AWAY,
AND DEPRIVE ME OF AIR.

OK, LOOK, NOBODY WANTS
TO SAY THIS ANY LESS THAN ME,

BUT I... I MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE A
MEDICAL CONDITION OR A MENTAL PROBLEM.

MAYBE, HONEY, YOU
ARE FALLING FOR JESS.

NO. NO. I LOVE DEAN.
DEAN IS MY BOYFRIEND.

HE WILL ALWAYS BE MY BOYFRIEND.

THAT'S IT. FOREVER.

NO. MAYBE NOT FOREVER.

YES. FOREVER. I LOVE DEAN.

AND JESS IS GONE NOW.

AND EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE GOOD AGAIN.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

RORY, YOU CUT
SCHOOL. YEAH, I KNOW.

YOU GOT ON A BUS AND WENT TO A
STRANGE CITY IN YOUR UNIFORM TO SEE JESS.

I KNOW.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN NOTHING.

THAT MEANS SOMETHING. I MEAN...

NO. I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.

THE ONLY THING I
WANT TO TALK ABOUT

IS THE LIST I MADE ON THE BUS OF ALL
THE WAYS I'M GONNA MAKE THIS UP TO YOU.

"YOU GET TOTAL CONTROL
OVER THE REMOTE

"AND THE STEREO FOR
AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

"TOTAL CONTROL OVER
TAKEOUT FOOD CHOICES

AND A SPECIAL SURPRISE
PRESENT EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH."

AND OH, MY GOD. I LEFT
YOUR PRESENT ON THE BUS.

WHAT PRESENT?

IT WAS A VINYL COPY OF
THE GO-GO'S ORIGINAL ALBUM

AND IT WAS SIGNED BY BELINDA.

BUT IT'S NOT THE ONLY COPY.

AND I'M GONNA FIND ANOTHER COPY.

THAT'S GOING ON THE LIST, TOO.

OK, HONEY, PLEASE.

FORGET ABOUT THE
LIST UNTIL TOMORROW.

OK, I'LL JUST GO TO BED THEN.

AND I'LL GO TO MY ROOM.

HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

DOES THIS MEAN I
HAVE TO EAT ALONE?

WELL, IT'S UP TO YOU.

SENDING ME TO BED
WITHOUT SUPPER.

YOU CAN'T LOSE WITH THAT
PUNISHMENT. IT'S A CLASSIC.

I'D RATHER GO OUT WITH
MY DAUGHTER TONIGHT.

I DON'T DESERVE IT.

NO. BUT I DO.

OK, JUST LET ME TAKE A SHOWER

AND GET THE HORRIBLE SMELL
OF THIS HORRIBLE DAY OFF OF ME.

AND THEN WE'LL GO
ANYWHERE YOU WANT.

MY TREAT. AND...
AND I WON'T ENJOY IT.

AND THEN WE'LL COME HOME,
AND I'LL GO STRAIGHT TO BED

AND I'LL HAVE A TERRIBLE
NIGHT'S SLEEP, OK?

SOUNDS GREAT.

I'M SO, SO SORRY, MOM.

OH, REALLY?

'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T
MAKE THAT CLEAR.

I WON'T BE LONG.