Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 1, Episode 9 - Rory's Dance - full transcript
Rory asks Dean to accompany her to a formal dance at Chilton, but the lovely evening is spoiled when they fall asleep together after the dance, leading to a fight between Rory's grandmother and her mom over who has been a worse mother.
YOUR GRANDFATHER CALLED LAST
NIGHT AND TOLD ME TO LET YOU KNOW
HE'S BRINGING YOU BACK SOMETHING
VERY SPECIAL FROM PRAGUE.
WOW, PRAGUE. HOW AMAZING IS
IT THAT HE'S GOING TO PRAGUE.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LOVELY.
VERY DRAMATIC
CASTLES EVERYWHERE.
DO YOU KNOW THE CELL THAT VACLAV
HAVEL WAS HELD IN IS NOW A HOSTEL?
YOU CAN STAY THERE
FOR LIKE $50 A NIGHT.
HEY, MAYBE ON OUR
BIG TRIP TO EUROPE
WE COULD GO THERE
AND STAY IN HIS CELL.
ABSOLUTELY. THEN WE
SHOULD GO TO TURKEY
AND STAY IN THAT PLACE
FROM MIDNIGHT EXPRESS.
LORELAI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GETTING RID OF THE AVOCADO.
SINCE WHEN DO YOU
NOT LIKE AVOCADO?
SINCE THE DAY I SAID,
"GROSS. WHAT IS THIS?"
AND YOU SAID, "AVOCADO."
I'M FOCUSING ON YOU NOW.
TELL ME ALL ABOUT THE
CHILTON FORMAL NEXT WEEK.
THERE'S A FORMAL?
HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE FORMAL?
YEAH, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?
I READ MY CHILTON NEWSLETTER.
SINCE WHEN DO YOU GET
A CHILTON NEWSLETTER?
WELL, AS A MAJOR CONTRIBUTOR
TO RORY'S EDUCATION,
I FIGURED I HAD THE RIGHT TO ASK
FOR A NEWSLETTER TO
BE SENT TO MY HOUSE.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
AND IT'S A GOOD THING, TOO,
SINCE YOU DON'T READ YOURS.
ONE OF US SHOULD BE UP-TO-DATE
ON THE GOINGS-ON
AT RORY'S SCHOOL.
HEY, MOM, I READ MY NEWSLETTER.
YOU DID? THAT'S RIGHT.
WHAT WAS THE
PICTURE ON THE COVER?
IT, UH, IT WAS A PICTURE OF
A REALLY RICH KID IN PLAID.
IT'S A SPOTTED OWL.
IN PLAID.
THE OWLS ARE ENDANGERED,
AND CHILTON IS TAKING
DONATIONS TO HELP THEM.
YOU GAVE A VERY NICE ONE,
IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED.
MOM, DON'T BE GIVING
DONATIONS ON RORY'S BEHALF.
I'LL DO THAT.
HOW CAN YOU DO THAT WHEN
YOU DON'T READ THE NEWSLETTER?
I READ THE NEWSLETTER.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THEY
WERE TAKING DONATIONS.
IT'S A PRIVATE SCHOOL. THEY
ALWAYS TAKING DONATIONS.
I'LL GET THEM NEXT TIME.
WHAT ABOUT THE OWLS?
THEY'LL LIVE.
WELL, APPARENTLY
THEY WON'T, DEAR.
THAT'S WHY THEY
NEED THE DONATIONS.
SO YOU HAVE A FORMAL COMING UP?
YEAH, BUT I DON'T
THINK I'M GONNA GO.
NONSENSE. OF
COURSE YOU'RE GOING.
MOM, IF RORY DOESN'T WANNA
GO, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO.
WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE WOULDN'T WANNA GO.
I KNOW YOU DON'T.
I'M GONNA GO GET ANOTHER COKE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IF SHE DOESN'T WANNA GO
THEN IT MUST BE BECAUSE
OF SOMETHING YOU SAID.
MOM, I PROMISE. ALL I EVER
SAID TO HER ABOUT DANCES
IS THAT YOU GO, YOU DANCE, YOU HAVE
PUNCH, YOU EAT, YOU TAKE A PICTURE,
AND THEN YOU GET AUCTIONED OFF
TO A BIKER GANG FROM SAUSALITO.
LORELAI, THIS IS SERIOUS.
MOM, I SAID NOTHING, OK?
RORY'S DISDAIN OF
FORMALS IS TOTALLY HER OWN.
LET'S JUST DROP IT, PLEASE.
FINE. FINE.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TOMATO?
IT WAS FRATERNIZING
WITH THE ENEMY.
WHY DIDN'T YOU
MENTION THE DANCE?
BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING. OH.
BUT WHY AREN'T YOU GOING?
BECAUSE I HATE DANCES.
GOOD ANSWER.
EXCEPT YOU'VE NEVER
ACTUALLY BEEN TO A DANCE.
SO? SO YOU HAVE
NOTHING TO COMPARE IT TO.
NO, BUT I CAN IMAGINE IT.
THAT'S TRUE.
HOWEVER, NOT REALLY,
SINCE YOU'VE NEVER
ACTUALLY BEEN TO ONE.
YOU'RE BASING ALL
YOUR DANCE OPINIONS
ON ONE VIEWING OF 16 CANDLES.
SO?
SO YOU SHOULD HAVE A DECENT
REASON FOR HATING SOMETHING
BEFORE YOU REALLY
DECIDE YOU HATE IT.
TRUST ME, I'LL HATE IT.
IT'LL BE STUFFY AND BORING,
AND THE MUSIC WILL SUCK.
SINCE NONE OF THE
KIDS AT SCHOOL LIKE ME,
I'LL BE STANDING IN THE BACK
LISTENING TO 98 DEGREES,
WATCHING TRISTIN
AND PARIS ARGUE OVER
WHICH ONE OF THEM GETS
TO MAKE ME MISERABLE FIRST.
OK. OR IT'LL BE ALL
SPARKLY AND EXCITING.
AND YOU'LL BE STANDING ON THE
DANCE FLOOR LISTENING TO TOM WAITS
WITH SOME GREAT-LOOKING
GUY STARING AT YOU SO HARD
THAT YOU DON'T REALIZE THAT PARIS
AND TRISTIN WERE JUST EATEN BY BEARS.
WHAT GUY?
MAYBE THE GUY WHO HANGS
OUT IN OUR TREES ALL DAY
WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME.
DEAN DOES NOT HANG OUT IN TREES.
HE BASHED HIS HEAD
IN A BRANCH LAST WEEK
WHEN I CAME OUT TOO QUICKLY.
WHY DO YOU CARE ALL
OF A SUDDEN IF I GO?
I... I DON'T CARE IF YOU GO.
I... I JUST DON'T
WANT YOU TO MISS
ANY EXPERIENCE BECAUSE
YOU'RE TOO AFRAID.
I'M AFRAID? OF WHAT?
OF ASKING DEAN,
OF... OF HIM SAYING NO,
OF... OF GOING TO A DANCE
WITH A BUNCH OF KIDS
WHO HAVEN'T ACCEPTED YOU YET,
OF DANCING IN PUBLIC,
OF FINDING OUT YOU SHOULD
NEVER BE DANCING IN PUBLIC.
OK, OK, I GET IT.
LISTEN, I KNOW YOU
ARE NOT MISS PARTY GIRL,
AND... AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT,
BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER.
DO YOU NOT JOIN IN
BECAUSE YOU
REALLY DON'T WANT TO,
OR BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO SHY?
IF THE REASON YOU DON'T WANNA GO IS
BECAUSE YOU REALLY DON'T WANNA GO
AND NOT BECAUSE YOU
ARE IN ANY WAY AFRAID,
THEN THIS IS THE LAST
TIME I'LL MENTION IT.
I PROMISE.
I DON'T HAVE A DRESS.
I COULD MAKE YOU ONE.
REALLY? OH, YEAH.
WE COULD GET SOME GREAT
SHOES, AND SOME NEW EARRINGS.
WE COULD GET YOUR HAIR DONE.
YOU WON'T THINK I'M AN IDIOT?
IT DEPENDS ON WHAT
HAIRSTYLE YOU CHOOSE.
THIS DANCE COULD
BE GREAT FOR YOU.
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
HE'S GONNA SAY NO.
WHY WOULD HE SAY NO?
WHY WOULD HE SAY YES?
RORY, LISTEN,
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO
POINT IN HAVING A BOYFRIEND
IF HE WON'T GO TO
THE DANCE WITH YOU.
HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.
REALLY? NO.
WHAT IS HE THEN?
HE'S MY GENTLEMAN CALLER.
OK, BLANCHE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS,
BUT HE'S NOT A BOYFRIEND.
DO YOU THINK HE'S MY BOYFRIEND?
I THINK YOU GUYS SPEND A LOT
OF TIME NOT KISSING OTHER PEOPLE,
IF IT ISN'T THAT SORT OF THING.
GIRLFRIEND. YOU.
BOYFRIEND. HIM.
NO, IT SOUNDS WEIRD.
LOOK, HAVE YOU HAD THE TALK YET?
YES, LANE.
BABIES COME FROM THE STORK.
THE OTHER TALK.
WHAT OTHER TALK?
"WE'VE BEEN DATING
A FEW WEEKS NOW.
"WHERE DO WE STAND?
WHAT ARE WE TO EACH OTHER?
IF ANOTHER GIRL ASKS YOU
OUT, DO YOU FEEL FREE TO GO?"
HOW DO YOU KNOW
SO MUCH ABOUT THIS?
THOSE WHO CAN, DO.
THOSE WHO CAN'T, TEACH.
THERE HE IS.
I SHOULD DO THIS LATER.
NO. NO, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS NOW.
WHY? BECAUSE I HAVE
TO GO HOME SOON
AND MY MOM THREW OUT OUR T.V.
WHEN SHE CAUGHT
ME WATCHING V.I.P.
SO I'M BORED, AND I NEED
SOME ENTERTAINMENT.
OK, HERE I GO.
GOOD LUCK.
OH, AND RORY,
REMEMBER TO ENUNCIATE.
I'M READING LIPS OUT HERE.
HEY.
OH, UH, HEY.
YOU'RE BUSY.
YEAH, I... I JUST HAVE TO PUT
THE NEW GREEN BEAN SHIPMENT
ON THE SHELVES.
YOU WANNA HELP? YEAH, SURE.
I, UH, I LOVE STACKING BEANS.
OK, UH, FOLLOW ME.
SO DO YOU WORK ON
SATURDAYS? I FORGET.
WELL, IT DEPENDS.
SOMETIMES I COME IN IF
I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS.
WHY?
NO REASON.
SEE, THERE'S THIS THING
AT MY SCHOOL ON SATURDAY.
WELL, IT'S NOT
REALLY AT MY SCHOOL,
BUT IT'S... IT'S KIND OF
GIVEN BY MY SCHOOL.
WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S THIS KIND OF
THING WHERE YOU GO,
AND THEY PLAY MUSIC
AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET DRESSED
UP AND DANCE, AND THEN THERE'S CHICKEN.
CHICKEN?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
IF THERE'S CHICKEN.
BUT AT THESE KINDS OF THINGS
THEY OFTEN SERVE CHICKEN
BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY
CHEAPER AND PEOPLE EAT IT.
SO THE LOGIC BEHIND THE CHICKEN
CHOICE REALLY ISN'T THAT BAD.
I'M LOST.
IT'S A DANCE.
AH!
AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M
DYING TO GO OR ANYTHING,
BUT IT IS A NEW SCHOOL
AND BEING A PART OF
THE SOCIAL ACTIVITIES
IS REALLY IMPORTANT AT CHILTON.
SO ARE YOU ASKING ME TO
GO TO A DANCE WITH YOU?
NO.
YES. I MEAN, IF
YOU WANTED TO GO,
I WOULD GO, TOO.
WELL, THAT WOULD PROBABLY
BE GOOD SINCE IT'S YOUR SCHOOL.
RIGHT.
SO DO YOU WANNA GO?
HONESTLY?
YEAH.
I, UH...
I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER
GONE TO A DANCE BEFORE.
BECAUSE THEY'RE LAME?
YEAH, AND IT'S NOT THE WAY
I EVER WANTED TO SPEND MY TIME.
I MEAN, I'M NOT A BIG JOINER.
OK, FAIR ENOUGH.
MORE BEANS, PLEASE.
YOU WANNA GO, DON'T YOU?
NO, I DON'T.
I HAVE NO DESIRE TO GO AT ALL.
I WAS JUST THINKING
OUT LOUD, THAT'S ALL.
SO, UH, WHAT WOULD
I HAVE TO WEAR?
WHAT?
TO THIS DANCE. WHAT
WOULD I HAVE TO WEAR?
ANYTHING YOU WANT. COME ON.
NO, REALLY, WHATEVER
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE IN IS FINE.
SOME SORT OF PANTS
WOULD BE GOOD. RORY.
IT'S COAT AND TIE. OH, MAN.
BUT YOU COULD PROBABLY GET
AWAY WITH A COAT AND NO TIE.
OK.
REALLY? YEAH.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
OW.
EXTRA THREAD. OH, GOD BLESS!
I'VE BEEN WORKING SO
HARD TO FINISH RORY'S DRESS,
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET OUT.
JEEZ, YOU ARE WALKING FUNNY.
I KNOW.
RORY'S DRESS MADE A PASS AT ME,
AND I THINK I PULLED
SOMETHING GETTING UP.
HERE, SIT, SIT, SIT.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT
AN ACE BANDAGE IN MY BAG.
I'M NOT SURE HOW WE CAN WRAP IT,
BUT MAYBE WE CAN DO
SOMETHING CREATIVE AND...
SOOKIE.
LET'S SEE.
WOW!
OK, I GOT PERCODAN,
VICODIN, DARVOCET, AND, UH...
WELL, TAKE THIS ONE.
IT'S A MUSCLE-RELAXER.
VERY MILD, I PROMISE.
THANKS. MAYBE LATER.
OK, I'VE GOTTA GO.
YOU SURE YOU'RE GONNA BE OK?
I'M SURE. OK.
BYE. BYE.
OW.
OW, OW, OW, OW.
YEAH.
YOU SOUND TERRIBLE.
I'M FINE, MOM. I JUST
STUBBED MY TOE.
YOU SHOULD GET RID OF THE
CLUTTER IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.
MAYBE.
THAT ROOM IS A HAZARD.
AH! I'VE SEEN THE
LIGHT. EVERYTHING GOES.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
I WANNA TALK ABOUT RORY'S DANCE.
IT'S JUST KILLING ME
THAT SHE'S NOT GOING.
UH-HUH.
THIS MAY SEEM FRIVOLOUS
AND SILLY TO HER NOW,
BUT BELIEVE ME, THESE ARE
THE KIND OF EXPERIENCES
YOU REGRET MISSING LATER.
OK.
AND REGRET CAN MAKE YOU BITTER.
DO YOU WANT RORY TO BE BITTER?
WELL, SORT OF.
LORELAI!
SHE COULD MAKE
SOME CASH OFF OF IT.
BECOME A CRAZY OSCAR
LEVANT KIND OF CELEBRITY,
GO ON TALK SHOWS, HECKLE REGIS.
I WISH YOU WOULD
TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
MOM, RORY IS GOING TO THE DANCE.
SHE IS?
UH-HUH.
OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL!
I'M THRILLED.
I'M, UH, I'M MAKING
HER DRESS RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE MAKING HER DRESS?
YEP.
BUT WHY?
WELL, SO SHE'LL LOOK REALLY UGLY
AND PEOPLE WILL POINT
AND THROW ROCKS.
WHY DON'T YOU LET
ME BUY HER A DRESS?
MOM, YOU WERE THRILLED 5
SECONDS AGO, REMEMBER?
YOU'RE NOT USING THE
CURTAINS, ARE YOU?
MOM, I GOTTA GO.
UH, JUST... JUST ONE MORE THING.
TAKE A PICTURE OF
RORY FOR ME, PLEASE?
I WILL. ON THE STAIRS.
AND... AND ONE BY
THE FRONT DOOR.
AND ONE AS SHE'S GETTING READY.
YOU KNOW, PUTTING HER HAIR
UP, PUTTING HER MAKEUP ON.
OK, DO YOU WANT ONE WHEN
SHE'S SHAVING HER LEGS?
YOU KNOW, ONE LEG UP,
IN THE TUB,
WAVING THE DISPOSABLE
RAZOR IN THE AIR?
THIS IS A
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME EVENT.
YOU GET TO BE THERE AND I DON'T.
OH, BOY!
IF I GOT ENOUGH
PICTURES, I COULD AT LEAST
LINE THEM UP IN
CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER
AND PRETEND I WAS THERE.
MOM.
MAYBE BIND THEM TOGETHER,
MAKE A FLIPBOOK OUT OF THEM.
MOM, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
COME OVER ON SATURDAY
AND SEE RORY GO TO THE DANCE?
WHY, WHAT A NICE IDEA.
I'D LOVE THAT.
THANK YOU. I'LL SEE YOU AT 7:00.
HI, TRISTIN. PARIS.
TWO, I ASSUME?
YOU ASSUME RIGHT.
SO, WHO ARE YOU TAKING?
WHY, ARE YOU FREE?
I'M, UH...
NO, WHAT AM I THINKING?
YOU WOULDN'T BE FREE
THIS CLOSE TO THE DANCE.
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
HEY, IS YOUR HAIR SHORTER?
YEAH. QUARTER OF AN INCH.
REALLY? I GOT IT TRIMMED.
IT LOOKS GOOD.
THANKS.
AND SHE'S READING
AGAIN. HOW NOVEL.
GOODBYE, TRISTIN.
WELL, DID YOU GET THE
"NOVEL" THING? BECAUSE...
I SAID GOODBYE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I LIKE LINES.
THE GUY'S SUPPOSED
TO BUY THE TICKETS.
REALLY?
DOES SUSAN FALUDI
KNOW ABOUT THIS?
NO, UNLESS, OF
COURSE, THERE IS NO GUY.
NO, THERE IS A GUY.
A CHEAP GUY.
WELL, WHAT CAN I
SAY? I LIKE 'EM CHEAP.
SLOPPY, TOO. BALD
SPOT, BEER GUT,
AND THE PANTS THAT
SLIP DOWN IN THE BACK,
GIVING YOU THAT
GOOD PLUMBER SHOT.
THAT SENDS ME THROUGH THE ROOF.
SO, WHO IS HE?
HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SAY
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" IN?
DOES HE GO TO THIS SCHOOL?
NO, HE DOESN'T.
UH-HUH.
LOOK, OK, I'LL CONFESS
SOMETHING TO YOU.
I DON'T HAVE A DATE.
WELL, I HEAR SQUEAKY
FROMME'S UP FOR PAROLE SOON.
YOU SHOULD KEEP A GOOD THOUGHT.
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
YOU'D LIKE TO GO WITH ME.
YOU DID NOT. WELL, I DID, TOO.
YOU DID NOT, BECAUSE
YOU ARE NOT STUPID.
WHY, THANK YOU.
SLIMY AND WEASELLY,
YES. BUT STUPID, NO.
YOU'D HAVE TO BE STUPID TO THINK
THAT, GIVEN OUR
HISTORY, I WOULD EVER,
BARRING A PIANO OR A
SAFE FALLING ON MY HEAD,
WANNA GO ANYWHERE
WITH YOU. EVER.
OK, FINE. I'LL TAKE CISSY.
I'LL SEND HER A CONDOLENCE CARD.
YEAH. WELL, AT LEAST SHE
WON'T BE BUYING HER OWN TICKET.
TWO, PLEASE.
IDIOT. EXCUSE ME?
HE WAS TOTALLY NICE TO
YOU AND YOU WERE A BIG JERK.
IF YOU LIKE TRISTIN SO
MUCH, YOU GO OUT WITH HIM.
I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH
CHANGE. PAY ME LATER.
WHAT AM I, YOUR VERSATELLER?
WAIT FOR CHANGE.
I NEED CHANGE! NOW!
YOU CAN'T BE GOING WITH
SOMEONE BETTER THAN TRISTIN.
WHATEVER.
YOU PROBABLY DON'T
EVEN HAVE A DATE.
YOU'RE PROBABLY
GOING TO COME DOWN
WITH SOME RARE FORM OF FLU
THAT ONLY HITS
LOSERS ON DANCE NIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I
DON'T WANT MY CHANGE.
MONEY MAKES PEOPLE SHALLOW.
I'VE GOT YOUR CHANGE!
HEY! HEY, IF YOU THINK
I'M KEEPING THIS DOLLAR,
I'M NOT!
I'LL TAKE IT. SHUT UP.
COME ON, ALREADY!
I'M PRIMPING.
YOU'RE 16, YOU HAVE
SKIN LIKE A BABY'S ASS.
THERE'S NOTHING TO PRIMP.
OK, OK, HERE I COME.
WOW. SOMEONE HIT
YOU WITH A PRETTY STICK.
THIS DRESS IS AMAZING.
YOU OUTDID YOURSELF.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL. BABY,
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
COME HERE. WHAT?
STRAY HAIR.
FIX, PLEASE.
HMM, I THINK MY FAVORITE
PART IS THE SHOES.
THE HEELS HURT.
WELL, BEAUTY IS PAIN.
I'LL JUST THROW 'EM
ON ON MY WAY OUT.
YOU SHOULD PUT THEM ON NOW
AND LET YOUR FEET GET REALLY NUMB.
THAT'S SICK.
GO GET ME THE HAIR SPRAY. OK.
IT'S OPEN!
IT'S ME!
I GOT TACOS.
YAY!
I GOT EXTRA HOT SAUCE
AND A COUPLE OF EXTRA BURRITOS
TO PUT IN THE FRIDGE IN
CASE YOU GET HUNGRY LATER.
YOU TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME.
SOOKIE, LOOK.
OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE A MOVIE STAR!
I'M SERIOUS.
AT SOME POINT TONIGHT,
WALK DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
MOVIE STARS ALWAYS
WALK DOWN STAIRCASES.
LET ME SPRAY WHILE YOU TRY
TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SHE SAID.
YOU DON'T MOVE. I GOT IT.
OK, HERE.
OH! SOOKIE.
WRONG WAY. I GOT IT.
ARE YOU OK?
YEAH, SWEETIE. HAND
THAT TO YOUR MOTHER.
AND MY EYELASHES ARE
ALL STUCK TOGETHER.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE.
SHIELD THE TACOS.
OK, READY?
GOD!
OK.
THAT'LL BE GOOD
FOR 6 SLOW DANCES,
4 MEDIUM ONES, ONE LAMBADA,
BUT IF YOU WANNA DO ANY
MOSHING, I SUGGEST ANOTHER COAT.
NO, I THINK I'M GOOD.
RORY, SWEETIE, IS THIS SOAP
BY THE SINK IN
THE SILVER BOTTLE?
NO. OOPS.
GO IN THERE, QUICK.
WE'RE IN HERE!
"WE'RE IN HERE"?
THAT'S HOW YOU ANSWER THE DOOR?
WELL, I WAS ALL
OUT OF SARAN WRAP.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO
FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
WHERE IS MY GRANDDAUGHTER?
KITCHEN.
OH, PERFECT.
I WANNA BE ALL READY
FOR THE BIG ENTRANCE.
HOW'S THE LIGHT IN
HERE? NEVER MIND.
I'LL TAKE ONE WITH THE FLASH
AND ONE WITHOUT TO MAKE
SURE WE'VE GOT IT RIGHT.
WOW, MOM, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'D THINK ANNE TAYLOR WAS
HAVING A SALE OR SOMETHING.
OK, RORY, COME IN HERE, PLEASE.
HEY, GRANDMA.
SHE HAS LIVED WITH YOU TOO LONG.
HONEY, LOSE THE
BIB AND THE TACO,
PUT YOUR SHOES ON
AND COME BACK OUT.
LET GRANDMA TAKE
THE PRETTY PICTURE.
OK.
I'M GONNA GET GOING.
YOU ARE NOT DRIVING.
I WALKED.
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, MRS. GILMORE,
OR AT LEAST MAKE OUT YOUR SHAPE.
CALL ME IN 15 MINUTES, OR
I'LL SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY.
WELL, AND YOU CALL ME
IF I NEED TO COME OVER
AND HELP YOU UP THE
STAIRS OR SOMETHING.
NO, I'LL BE FINE.
BYE.
WHY WOULD YOU NEED
HELP UP THE STAIRS?
NO REASON.
RORY, LET'S GO.
YOUR PUBLIC AWAITS!
WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?
I'M COMFORTABLE, THAT'S ALL.
ARE YOU HURT?
I HAVE A LITTLE BACK
SPASM. THAT'S IT.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
WHAT SORT OF BACK SPASM?
I DON'T KNOW, MOM.
JUST A NORMAL ONE.
THERE IS NOTHING NORMAL
ABOUT A BACK SPASM.
THE FACT THAT IT HAS THE WORD
"SPASM" IN IT MEANS IT'S NOT NORMAL.
HERE SHE IS. GET
YOUR CAMERA MOVING.
WHAT?
OH, MY! YOU'RE GORGEOUS.
OH! SMILE!
I'M SO GLAD YOU DECIDED
TO BUY HER A DRESS.
THAT'S DEAN.
HEY, COME HERE.
HAVE AN AMAZING TIME.
I'LL CHRONICLE THE WHOLE
EVENING FOR YOU, I PROMISE.
BYE, GRANDMA.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO THE DANCE.
YOU DO NOT GO RUNNING OUT
THE DOOR WHEN A BOY HONKS.
MOM, IT'S FINE.
IT CERTAINLY IS NOT FINE.
THIS IS NOT A DRIVE-THROUGH.
SHE'S NOT FRIED CHICKEN.
BUT I TOLD HIM TO HONK AND I'D
MEET HIM OUT THERE. WE AGREED.
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU TOLD HIM.
IF HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU OUT,
HE WILL WALK UP TO THIS DOOR
AND KNOCK, AND
SAY, "GOOD EVENING,"
AND COME INSIDE FOR A MOMENT
LIKE ANY CIVILIZED HUMAN
BEING WOULD KNOW TO DO.
NOW, MOM, THIS IS SILLY.
I HAVE MET HIM ALREADY.
WELL, I HAVEN'T.
YEAH, BUT...
WE WILL WAIT UNTIL
HE COMES TO THE DOOR.
HE DOESN'T KNOW
HE'S SUPPOSED TO.
HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
HE'S NOT A VERY
BRIGHT BOY, IS HE?
MOM, PLEASE.
DON'T RUSH.
A LADY NEVER RUSHES.
HEY. HEY.
UH, I THOUGHT I WAS
SUPPOSED TO HONK.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
YOUNG MAN, COME IN HERE, PLEASE.
HEY, DEAN. MEET MY
MOTHER, EMILY POST.
EMILY GILMORE. HI.
HELLO. GREAT RAP SESSION.
YOU GUYS ARE OUT OF HERE.
HAVE FUN. BE HOME BY 11:00.
12:00.
BYE, GRANDMA. BYE, MOM.
BYE.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS BOY?
I KNOW THAT RORY LIKES HIM,
AND THAT HIS PAROLE OFFICER HAS
HIGH HOPES FOR HIS REHABILITATION.
DOES HE DRINK? LIKE A FISH.
THAT'S NOT A CRAZY QUESTION.
IT IS A CRAZY QUESTION, MOM,
BECAUSE IF I HAD KNOWLEDGE
OF HIM BEING A DRINKER,
HE WOULD NOT BE WITH RORY NOW.
YES, BUT...
MOM, PLEASE RELAX.
DEAN IS A GOOD KID.
RORY'S GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME.
YOU GOT YOUR PICTURES.
TOMORROW I WILL CALL YOU
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE DETAILS.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU CERTAINLY
CAN'T BE LEFT ALONE.
YES, I CAN.
YOU CAN BARELY MOVE. YOU'VE
BEEN SITTING THERE SINCE I GOT HERE.
THAT'S BECAUSE THIS IS
A RIGHT COMFY COUCH.
MAYBE I SHOULD
STAY. NO, NO, MOM.
YOU REALLY DON'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
I'M NOT LEAVING MY DAUGHTER
STRANDED ON THE COUCH.
WHAT IF YOU NEED TO
GET TO THE BATHROOM?
I DON'T GO ANYMORE, MOM.
I GAVE IT UP COLD TURKEY.
I'M STAYING.
NO, MOM.
LOOK, I CAN STAND, OK?
SEE?
I'M UP. OK, SEE?
I'M... I'M FINE.
MOVE. WHAT?
MOVE. IF YOU'RE FINE, THEN MOVE.
I CAN MOVE.
THIS IS ME MOVING.
ANY SECOND NOW,
THE MOVING WILL BEGIN.
RATS.
I'LL GO START SOME TEA.
PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE
SOMETHING BESIDES LIPTON.
A STROKE WOULD BE SO
GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST FORGET ABOUT THIS.
OK.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST A DANCE.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
BEATS ME.
AND THESE KIDS AT
MY SCHOOL... AWFUL.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE OUTSIDERS?
YEAH, I HAVE.
JUST CALL ME PONYBOY.
I HEARD THIS PLACE
IS BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH.
OLD AND HISTORIC.
OH.
MAYBE WE COULD JUST
GO IN FOR A MINUTE.
FINE.
OR NOT.
FINE, TOO.
I DON'T KNOW.
WHY CAN'T I DECIDE?
THIS IS STUPID.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK THAT YOU
LOOK AMAZING TONIGHT.
MAYBE JUST A COUPLE
OF MINUTES WON'T HURT.
YES, MARTA.
JUST MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S
LOCKED UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE.
NO, I WON'T BE HOME TONIGHT.
OH!
WAS THAT A PAIN?
YES, A BIG ONE.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. BYE.
SO, MOM, YOU REALLY,
REALLY DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
DON'T BE SILLY. I COULDN'T
POSSIBLY LEAVE YOU ALONE LIKE THIS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MOM?
I'M TRYING TO FIND THE
CANDLESTICKS I BOUGHT YOU.
WHAT CANDLESTICKS?
THE BACCARAT CANDLESTICKS I
BOUGHT YOU LAST YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS.
I ASSUME THAT YOU STUFFED THEM IN
THE BACK OF THE CLOSET SOMEWHERE.
UH, NO, I DID NOT STUFF THEM
IN THE BACK OF THE CLOSET.
WELL, THEN, WHERE ARE
THEY? I DON'T SEE THEM OUT.
WELL, SEE, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY
HAVE A BIG USE FOR THE
CRYSTAL CANDLESTICKS.
SO I KIND OF...
EXCHANGED THEM.
FOR WHAT?
A MONKEY LAMP.
PARDON ME?
IT'S A LAMP WITH A
BUNCH OF MONKEYS ON IT.
BACCARAT CRYSTAL
CANDLESTICKS FOR A MONKEY LAMP?
THEY'RE REALLY, REALLY
HAPPY MONKEYS, MOM.
WHERE IS THIS LAMP?
I WANT TO SEE IT.
IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE DESK.
OH, MY GOD!
THEY'RE HOLDING
COCONUTS AND LEERING.
IT'S FUNNY.
YOU TRADED MY LOVELY GIFT
FOR A SEMI-PORNOGRAPHIC, LEERING
MONKEY LAMP? HOW COULD YOU?
THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE BAD
BREEDING OF RETURNING A GIFT.
THIS GOES TO THE VERY HEART
OF THE QUESTION OF TASTE.
YOU WERE GIVEN
SOMETHING OF SUBSTANCE,
AND YOU CAST IT OFF
FOR A RIDICULOUS, SLIGHTLY
SINISTER BARROOM DECORATION?
EXPLAIN THIS TO ME, LORELAI.
MY BACK HURTS.
♪
♪ AND I WON'T TAKE FROM YOU ♪
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW 'BOUT
A ZILLION YEARS AGO ♪
♪ SOME STAR SNEEZED ♪
WELL, IT'S A VERY GOOD ROOM.
LOOKS HISTORICAL.
I COMMEND THE PERSON WHO
SUGGESTED THIS LOCATION.
SO, WE COULD JUST GET OUR
PICTURE TAKEN AND LEAVE.
WE COULD.
OR WE COULD
DANCE A LITTLE FIRST.
YEAH?
I STRESSED "A LITTLE."
SOMETHING SLOW.
THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
CAN WE GO YET?
WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN DINNER.
I'M BORED.
WE HAVE TO WAIT
FOR PARIS ANYWAY.
FINE. GIVE ME YOUR ROLL.
WOW. WHAT?
RORY GILMORE.
GOD, SHE'S GOT GOOD HAIR.
WHO'S THE DISH? BEATS ME.
HE'S NOT FROM THE MANOR
BORN, THAT'S FOR SURE.
LET'S GO.
SO, SHOULD WE DANCE
OR SHOULD WE SIT FIRST?
RORY, YOU CAME.
GREAT DRESS. WHO'S IT BY?
LORELAI GILMORE.
YOU MADE IT YOURSELF?
NO, MY MOM MADE IT FOR ME.
SHE DID, REALLY?
YEAH.
SO, YOU'RE TRAVELING
WITH A BODYGUARD NOW?
OH, NO, THIS IS
MY... THIS IS DEAN.
DEAN, THIS IS LOUISE
AND MADELINE.
HI. MY MOM CAN'T MAKE ANYTHING.
HOW TALL ARE YOU?
SOUP, SHE CAN MAKE SOUP.
YOU KNOW, MY WHOLE
FAMILY IS REALLY TALL.
I MEAN, THE MEN MOSTLY.
WHAT ARE YOU, 6'1 ", 6'2"?
DOES HE GET, LIKE, A
PRIZE IF HE GUESSES?
ONE KIND OF SOUP, ACTUALLY.
IT'S GREEN, LUMPY.
I'M 6'2".
ACTUALLY, SHE CAN'T
MAKE SOUP EITHER.
6'2" IS A GOOD HEIGHT.
YOU THINK?
I THINK.
HUH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? TOO TALL?
NOT IN HEELS. GOOD.
ALTHOUGH, THE SADDLE SHOES
MAKE IT KIND OF DIFFICULT.
OH, I'LL JUST HAVE
TO STOOP THEN.
I GUESS SO.
OK, I'M BORED.
I LIKE YOUR DRESS.
THANKS.
HEY, YOU'RE NICE.
SLOW SONG.
LET'S GO.
RORY. PARIS.
I SEE YOU CAME.
YOU SOLD ME THE TICKET.
I'M JACOB.
HI, I'M RORY. THIS IS DEAN.
HI. HI.
EXCUSE US.
THOSE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I WAS BEING POLITE.
WELL, DON'T.
SO, THAT'S PARIS?
YES, IT IS.
SHE SEEMS FUN.
OH, YEAH, SHE IS.
OK, SO THIS DANCING THING IS NOT
SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO GET USED TO
OR COMMENT ON.
NOW, THAT GOES BOTH WAYS.
♪
♪ I LOOK TO YOU
AND I SEE NOTHING ♪
HEY, IF I KISS YOU, IS A NUN GONNA
COME OUT AND BOOT ME OUT OF HERE?
IT'S NOT A CATHOLIC SCHOOL.
SO I CAN KISS YOU?
YEAH, YOU CAN KISS ME.
♪ YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE
YOU GO IN SHADOWS ♪
OK, I'M PERFECT NOW.
GREAT.
YOU WANT TO DANCE?
NOPE.
YOU WANT TO EAT? NOPE.
YOU WANT TO GO MAKE OUT?
YEAH, ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
♪ SOME KIND OF NIGHT ♪
SO, PONYBOY, YOU HAPPY?
YEAH, I'M HAPPY.
♪ COLORS YOUR EYES ♪
THERE YOU GO.
MOM, I THINK SOMEBODY
ALREADY ATE THAT.
THAT IS A MASHED
BANANA ON TOAST.
OK.
I USED TO MAKE THIS FOR YOU
WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL.
YOU DID?
WHENEVER YOU
GOT SICK, I MADE THIS.
YOU SURE IT WASN'T
THE OTHER WAY AROUND?
YOU DON'T WANT
IT? NO, NO, I WANT IT.
I'LL JUST TAKE IT BACK.
MOM, I SAID I WANT IT.
ARE YOU SURE?
BECAUSE I COULD THROW IT AWAY.
RELINQUISH THE BANANA, PLEASE.
MMM.
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE
COMFORTABLE LIKE THAT.
MOTHER, PLEASE, THIS IS THE
FIRST POSITION IN 24 HOURS
THAT HAS NOT MADE ME CRAZY.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT EATING.
MOM, PLEASE DON'T
MAKE ME EAT THIS.
WELL, YOU HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING.
WELL, SOOKIE LEFT ME A
BURRITO IN THE FRIDGE.
I'LL GO WARM IT UP FOR YOU.
I CAN EAT IT COLD.
OH.
FINE, I'LL JUST GO GET IT THEN.
HOT'S BETTER, THOUGH.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OK, UH, I NEED
SOMETHING TO DRINK.
YOU WANT SOME PUNCH?
SURE.
♪
HI. RORY, RIGHT?
YES.
JACOB. WE MET
EARLIER WITH PARIS.
YES, I REMEMBER.
ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?
ACTUALLY, I AM. YOU?
IT'S OK.
SO, WAS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?
OH, I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT SURE.
YOU'RE NOT SURE?
WE'VE ONLY BEEN GOING
OUT FOR A LITTLE WHILE...
SO THERE'S STILL A
LITTLE ROOM TO PLAY?
WHAT?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?
OH, NO, THANKS.
MAYBE I COULD GET YOUR NUMBER?
WHAT FOR?
TO CALL YOU.
I-I-I'M SORRY, AREN'T
YOU HERE WITH PARIS?
YEAH.
SO MAYBE YOU
SHOULDN'T BE OVER HERE
ASKING ME FOR MY NUMBER THEN.
WHY? PARIS IS MY COUSIN.
YOUR COUSIN?
YEAH.
PARIS IS YOUR COUSIN?
YOU'RE RELATED?
YEAH.
JACOB, IT'S BEEN VERY
NICE TO MEET YOU.
I HOPE YOU HAVE
A LOVELY EVENING.
YOU'RE A SMART INSURANCE MAN...
OH, LOOK. BARBARA STANWYCK.
I JUST LOVE BARBARA STANWYCK.
YEAH, SHE'S GOOD.
SHE HAD THAT WONDERFUL
VOICE, THAT HUSKY, DEEP VOICE.
I JUST LOVE THAT VOICE.
HMM.
YOU KNOW, MOM, YOU HAVE KIND
OF A BARBARA STANWYCKY VOICE.
I DO NOT.
I MEAN IT.
YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN
FRED MacMURRAY TO OFF DAD
IF YOU'D REALLY WANTED TO.
YOU DO ENJOY
TEASING ME, DON'T YOU?
YOU KNOW, I REALLY DO.
YOU KNOW, RORY LOOKED
SO LOVELY TONIGHT.
SHE DID, DIDN'T SHE?
I CAN'T GET OVER HOW
SHE'S GROWN UP INTO
THAT LITTLE WOMAN
WHO WALKED OUT OF HERE.
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?
MMM?
I MADE THE DRESS.
YOU DID A LOVELY JOB.
THANK YOU.
WITH RORY AND THE DRESS.
THANK YOU.
WELL,
LET ME GET THIS OUT OF YOUR WAY.
YOU REALLY DON'T REMEMBER ME
MAKING THIS FOR YOU WHEN YOU WERE SICK?
I DON'T, I'M SORRY.
WELL, I DID, AND YOU LOVED IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME GIVE IT A TRY.
ALL RIGHT.
AHEM.
MMM.
YES?
IT'S EVEN MORE DISGUSTING
THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.
OH, IT IS NOT.
OH, MY GOD, IT'S HORRIBLE!
WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING?
SO, UH, YOU WANNA MAYBE GO?
YOU'RE BORED? I'M SORRY.
LET'S GO, RIGHT AWAY.
I-I'M NOT BORED.
I THOUGHT THERE'S
STILL A LITTLE TIME LEFT.
MAYBE WE COULD GET A
CUP OF COFFEE SOMEWHERE
HANG OUT A LITTLE, TAKE A WALK.
YOU KNOW, JUST US.
THAT'D BE NICE.
NO, YOU STAY. I'LL
GET THE COATS.
SO HOW MANY PEOPLE
HAVE YOU TOLD?
4? 5? EVERYBODY?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU KNOW THAT
JACOB IS MY COUSIN.
NOW YOU HAVE ALL THE AMMUNITION
YOU EVER NEEDED TO
PAY ME BACK, RIGHT?
I DON'T WANNA PAY YOU BACK,
I WANNA GET AWAY FROM YOU.
NOW YOU CAN GO ALL OVER
SCHOOL TELLING EVERYONE
THAT PARIS GELLER COULDN'T
GET A DATE TO THE DANCE.
THAT SHE HAD NO ONE.
SINCE SHE COULDN'T
JUST NOT COME,
SHE HAD TO GET HER MOTHER
TO ASK HER COUSIN TO TAKE HER.
SHE HAD TO GIVE HIM GAS
MONEY TO MAKE HIM DO IT.
GO AHEAD, TELL THEM!
I DON'T HAVE TO. YOU JUST DID.
♪
♪ YOU WENT AWAY
YOU CAN'T COME BACK ♪
YOU KNOW, WE HAVEN'T MET.
NO, WE HAVEN'T.
I'M TRISTIN.
AH, YES, WE HAVE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
RORY'S MENTIONED YOU.
OH, YEAH?
I WOULDN'T GET QUITE
SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.
OH, WHY, DID SHE
SAY SOMETHING MEAN?
SHE SAID YOU'RE A JACKASS.
REALLY? ACTUALLY, NO.
RORY DOESN'T USE
WORDS LIKE THAT.
I EMBELLISHED A LITTLE.
SO YOU'RE THE BIG,
STRONG PROTECTOR?
LITTLE PRINCESS
NEEDS A PROTECTOR.
WHAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM, MAN? NOTHING.
I JUST DON'T LIKE YOUR
GIRLFRIEND. REALLY?
IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT WAY TO ME.
I DON'T REALLY CARE
HOW IT LOOKS TO YOU.
HEY, YOU GOT IN MY PATH,
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
WHY, ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?
GET OUT OF MY WAY, "DRISTAN."
AREN'T YOU CLEVER?
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING. JUST GETTING
TO KNOW YOUR BOYFRIEND.
IT'S GOING REAL WELL,
DON'T YOU THINK? YEAH.
WE'RE JUST ABOUT
TO BUILD A CLUBHOUSE.
WELL, I HATE TO BREAK UP
THE PARTY, BUT WE SHOULD GO.
WHY? LITTLE GIRL'S
GOT TO BE HOME?
STOP!
NO, I THINK YOU TWO
MAKE A VERY CUTE COUPLE.
IS YOUR HORSE AND
BUGGY PARKED OUTSIDE?
GOTTA GET HOME
FOR THE BARN RAISING?
LET'S GO.
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?
YOU WILL NOT PUSH ME AGAIN!
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY
TRYING TO ACT TOUGH?
YOU'RE WEARING A
TIE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
OUTSIDE, NOW.
NO, I'M NOT FIGHTING YOU. IT'D
BE LIKE FIGHTING AN ACCOUNTANT.
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I
NEED MY TAXES DONE.
YOU DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT ME, TRISTIN!
WHY NOT?
'CAUSE I'LL KILL YOU, IDIOT!
COME ON, RORY.
YOU WILL NOT COME
NEAR HER EVER AGAIN.
WOW, THAT WAS GOOD.
WHATEVER.
ARE YOU OK?
DID YOU REALLY
BRING YOUR COUSIN?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GO TO SLEEP.
THE MOVIE'S NOT OVER.
I'LL TELL YOU HOW IT ENDS.
THANK YOU, MOMMY.
THAT WAS QUITE A DANCE.
I SERIOUSLY DON'T
KNOW WHAT GOT INTO HIM.
I DO. WHAT?
HE HAS A THING FOR YOU.
NO, HE DOESN'T.
IT'S JUST A GAME TO
HIM OR SOMETHING.
HE HAS A THING FOR YOU.
HE DOES NOTHING BUT INSULT
ME AND MAKE ME MISERABLE.
HE HAS A THING FOR YOU.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL
ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I DON'T KNOW.
HAVING MY BOYFRIEND
DEFEND MY HONOR.
IT'S WEIRD.
UH, BOYFRIEND?
WHAT?
YOU SAID "BOYFRIEND."
NO, I JUST MEANT BOYFRIEND
IN THE SENSE THAT THE DEFENDING-ME
THING WAS VERY BOYFRIENDY,
BUT ONLY IN THE BROADEST
SENSE OF THE WORD
WHICH DOESN'T EVEN
APPLY AT ALL HERE.
YOU ARE SERIOUSLY BABBLING.
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT YOU
WERE MY BOYFRIEND.
OK.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
MY BOYFRIEND.
OK.
DEAN.
WHAT?
ARE YOU MY BOYFRIEND?
IN THE "BROADEST
SENSE OF THE WORD" WAY?
NO, IN THE REAL
"HI, THIS IS DEAN, MY
BOYFRIEND," KIND OF WAY.
WELL, I AM IF YOU WANT ME TO BE.
I DO.
OK.
SO IT'S SETTLED. YES, IT IS.
YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND.
THAT'S THE CONSENSUS.
I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD
ABOUT THIS DECISION.
WELL, I'M VERY GLAD TO HEAR IT.
I GUESS MISS PATTY
FORGOT TO LOCK UP.
I'VE NEVER REALLY
SEEN IN HERE BEFORE.
ARE ALL THESE WOMEN
REALLY MISS PATTY?
YEAH.
SHE SAID SHE'S DONE EVERYTHING
THERE'S TO DO IN SHOW BUSINESS
EXCEPT SET FIRE TO THE
HOOP THE DOG JUMPS THROUGH.
I'LL GET IT.
GOD, THIS WEIGHS A TON.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
A LIPSTICK, $5 BILL,
GUM, HAIR SPRAY, A BOOK.
A BOOK?
YEAH.
YOU BROUGHT A BOOK
TO THE DANCE? YEAH.
YOU THOUGHT THERE'D
BE A LOT OF DOWNTIME?
NO. I JUST TAKE A BOOK
WITH ME EVERYWHERE.
IT'S JUST HABIT.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU READING?
THE PORTABLE DOROTHY PARKER.
"THERE'S LITTLE IN
TAKING OR GIVING
"THERE'S LITTLE IN WATER OR WINE
THIS LIVING, THIS LIVING, THIS LIVING
WAS NEVER A PROJECT OF MINE."
CHEERY.
FUNNY, THOUGH.
HEY. WHAT?
THANK YOU FOR
TONIGHT. IT WAS PERFECT.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, LADIES, GRAB YOUR YOGA MATS.
OH, MY GOODNESS,
IT'S LORELAI'S GIRL!
PATTY, RORY GILMORE IS HERE.
WHAT?
SHE'S OVER HERE, ASLEEP WITH
THE BAG BOY FROM THE MARKET.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?
RORY, HONEY, IT'S MISS PATTY.
RORY? RORY? WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MISS PATTY?
YES. HAVE YOU BEEN
HERE ALL NIGHT?
OH, NO. DEAN, WAKE UP.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S 5:30 IN THE MORNING.
OH, MY GOD, WE FELL ASLEEP.
HOW COULD WE HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP?
CALM DOWN, I'LL... I'LL
EXPLAIN IT TO YOUR MOM.
WHERE'S MY PURSE?
WHERE'S MY PURSE?
I GOT IT. RELAX.
I HAVE TO GO.
RORY.
WAIT UP!
I HAVE TO GO!
I'M GOING WITH YOU.
WE'LL EXPLAIN. IT'LL BE OK.
NO, YOU CAN'T COME WITH ME.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE NEAR
MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.
I KNOW. I JUST HAVE TO GET HOME.
PLEASE LET ME COME WITH YOU.
NO! RORY.
I HAVE TO GO HOME.
LORELAI, GET UP. RIGHT NOW!
WHAT?
RORY'S NOT HOME.
RORY'S WHAT?
I SAT IN THAT CHAIR ALL NIGHT.
I DOZED OFF FOR ONE SECOND.
THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
IT'S 5:30 AND SHE'S NOT HERE.
RORY.
SHE'S NOT THERE.
AREN'T YOU LISTENING?
RORY. RORY.
WHERE'S THE PHONE?
CALL THE POLICE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CALL THE POLICE!
MOM, STOP IT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M LOOKING FOR THE
PHONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WHY DON'T YOU EVER
CLEAN UP AROUND HERE?
YOU CAN'T FIND THE PHONE IN AN
EMERGENCY. WHAT IF THERE WAS A FIRE?
W-W-WHAT IF RORY WAS CHOKING?
MOM, STOP YELLING.
RORY IS MISSING!
I KNOW THAT, AND YOUR
YELLING IS NOT HELPING ME.
RORY. OH, PATTY.
WHAT?
OK.
THANKS.
NO, THANK YOU SO
MUCH. OK, BYE-BYE.
RORY'S OK.
WHERE IS SHE? WHAT HAPPENED?
SHE AND DEAN WERE
AT MISS PATTY'S.
WHAT IS THAT, A MOTEL?
IT'S A DANCE STUDIO.
THAT WAS PATTY.
SHE SAID THAT SHE FOUND
THEM ASLEEP AND WOKE THEM UP,
AND RORY'S ON HER WAY HOME.
AND WHAT STATE
WERE THEY FOUND IN?
SHE DIDN'T SAY, OK?
LET'S TRY BE CALM UNTIL
WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE
KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
NO, WE DON'T.
THEY WERE OUT ALL NIGHT!
I'M GONNA MAKE SOME COFFEE.
LORELAI, I'VE WATCHED YOU DO A
LOT OF STUPID THINGS IN YOUR LIFE
AND I HAVE HELD MY TONGUE.
HUH, YOU'VE WHAT?
BUT I WILL NOT STAND BY AND LET
YOU ALLOW THAT GIRL TO RUIN HER LIFE.
MOM.
BACK OFF.
SHE SPENT THE NIGHT
OUT WITH THAT BOY,
THE ONE YOU LET HER RUN
OFF TO THAT DANCE WITH.
SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL
NOT GET INTO THIS WITH YOU.
SHE'S DOING THE SAME
THING YOU DID. NO, SHE'S NOT.
SHE'LL GET PREGNANT.
NO, SHE'S NOT.
SHE'S GONNA RUIN
EVERYTHING, JUST LIKE YOU DID.
NO, SHE'S NOT! NO,
SHE'S NOT! NO, SHE'S NOT!
RORY IS A GOOD KID,
MOM! SHE'S NOT ME!
WHAT KIND OF MOTHER
ARE YOU TO ALLOW THIS?
I DON'T KNOW, MOM.
WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WERE YOU?
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE
HER JUST LIKE I LOST YOU.
I AM NOT GONNA LOSE
HER. DO YOU HEAR ME?
EVEN IF I HADN'T GOTTEN
PREGNANT, YOU'D STILL HAVE LOST ME.
I HAD NOTHING IN THAT HOUSE.
I HAD NO LIFE, I HAD NO AIR.
YOU STRANGLED ME. I
DO NOT STRANGLE RORY.
OH, YOU'RE SO PERFECT,
AND I WAS SO HORRIBLE.
I PUT YOU IN GOOD SCHOOLS.
I GAVE YOU THE
BEST OF EVERYTHING.
I MADE SURE YOU HAD
THE FINEST OPPORTUNITIES.
AND I AM SO TIRED
OF HEARING ABOUT
HOW YOU WERE SUFFOCATED
AND I WAS SO CONTROLLING.
WELL, IF I WAS SO CONTROLLING
WHY COULDN'T I CONTROL
YOU GETTING PREGNANT
AND THROWING YOUR LIFE AWAY?
GET OUT. WHAT?
YOU WILL NOT COME INTO MY HOUSE
AND TELL ME I
THREW MY LIFE AWAY.
LOOK AROUND,
MOM. THIS IS A LIFE.
IT HAS A LITTLE COLOR IN IT, SO
IT MAY LOOK UNFAMILIAR TO YOU.
BUT IT'S A LIFE.
IF I HADN'T GOTTEN PREGNANT,
I WOULDN'T HAVE RORY.
YOU KNOW THAT'S
NOT WHAT I MEANT.
MAYBE I WAS SOME HORRIBLE,
UNCONTROLLABLE CHILD LIKE YOU SAY,
BUT RORY ISN'T.
SHE'S SMART AND CAREFUL,
AND I TRUST HER.
SHE'S GONNA BE FINE.
IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT
THAT OR BELIEVE IT,
THEN I DON'T WANT
YOU IN THIS HOUSE!
MOM, THANK YOU FOR
SAYING ALL THOSE...
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, STAYING
OUT ALL NIGHT? ARE YOU INSANE?
I'M SORRY. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU'RE TALKING TO THE QUEEN
OF STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT.
I INVENTED THE CONCEPT.
THIS IS NO ACCIDENT!
YOU CAN'T DO THIS. PERIOD!
NOTHING HAPPENED.
DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO WAKE UP WITH MY MOTHER HERE
AND FIND OUT THAT
YOU NEVER CAME HOME?
SO ALL THIS IS ABOUT
GRANDMA BEING HERE?
NO, IT'S ABOUT THE FEELING
OF COMPLETE TERROR
WHEN YOUR KID ISN'T IN
HER BED IN THE MORNING.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF
TERROR WHEN YOU FIND OUT
THAT SHE SPENT THE
NIGHT WITH SOME GUY!
I DIDN'T SPEND THE
NIGHT. WE FELL ASLEEP.
YOU ARE GOING ON THE PILL.
WHAT? YOU ARE NOT
GETTING PREGNANT!
I'M NOT SLEEPING
WITH DEAN! DAMN IT!
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT
STUFF YOU SAID TO GRANDMA?
WHAT HAPPENED TO TRUSTING ME?
WHERE DID ALL THAT GO?
I THINK IT'S BACK ON
PATTY'S YOGA MATS.
THIS IS CRAP!
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
YOU KNOW THIS WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU'RE JUST MAD
BECAUSE I SCREWED UP
AND I DID IT IN FRONT OF GRANDMA,
AND SHE NAILED YOU FOR IT.
WELL, I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY THAT I SCREWED UP, AND
I'M SORRY THAT YOU GOT YELLED AT
BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,
AND YOU KNOW IT!
NIGHT AND TOLD ME TO LET YOU KNOW
HE'S BRINGING YOU BACK SOMETHING
VERY SPECIAL FROM PRAGUE.
WOW, PRAGUE. HOW AMAZING IS
IT THAT HE'S GOING TO PRAGUE.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LOVELY.
VERY DRAMATIC
CASTLES EVERYWHERE.
DO YOU KNOW THE CELL THAT VACLAV
HAVEL WAS HELD IN IS NOW A HOSTEL?
YOU CAN STAY THERE
FOR LIKE $50 A NIGHT.
HEY, MAYBE ON OUR
BIG TRIP TO EUROPE
WE COULD GO THERE
AND STAY IN HIS CELL.
ABSOLUTELY. THEN WE
SHOULD GO TO TURKEY
AND STAY IN THAT PLACE
FROM MIDNIGHT EXPRESS.
LORELAI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GETTING RID OF THE AVOCADO.
SINCE WHEN DO YOU
NOT LIKE AVOCADO?
SINCE THE DAY I SAID,
"GROSS. WHAT IS THIS?"
AND YOU SAID, "AVOCADO."
I'M FOCUSING ON YOU NOW.
TELL ME ALL ABOUT THE
CHILTON FORMAL NEXT WEEK.
THERE'S A FORMAL?
HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE FORMAL?
YEAH, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?
I READ MY CHILTON NEWSLETTER.
SINCE WHEN DO YOU GET
A CHILTON NEWSLETTER?
WELL, AS A MAJOR CONTRIBUTOR
TO RORY'S EDUCATION,
I FIGURED I HAD THE RIGHT TO ASK
FOR A NEWSLETTER TO
BE SENT TO MY HOUSE.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
AND IT'S A GOOD THING, TOO,
SINCE YOU DON'T READ YOURS.
ONE OF US SHOULD BE UP-TO-DATE
ON THE GOINGS-ON
AT RORY'S SCHOOL.
HEY, MOM, I READ MY NEWSLETTER.
YOU DID? THAT'S RIGHT.
WHAT WAS THE
PICTURE ON THE COVER?
IT, UH, IT WAS A PICTURE OF
A REALLY RICH KID IN PLAID.
IT'S A SPOTTED OWL.
IN PLAID.
THE OWLS ARE ENDANGERED,
AND CHILTON IS TAKING
DONATIONS TO HELP THEM.
YOU GAVE A VERY NICE ONE,
IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED.
MOM, DON'T BE GIVING
DONATIONS ON RORY'S BEHALF.
I'LL DO THAT.
HOW CAN YOU DO THAT WHEN
YOU DON'T READ THE NEWSLETTER?
I READ THE NEWSLETTER.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THEY
WERE TAKING DONATIONS.
IT'S A PRIVATE SCHOOL. THEY
ALWAYS TAKING DONATIONS.
I'LL GET THEM NEXT TIME.
WHAT ABOUT THE OWLS?
THEY'LL LIVE.
WELL, APPARENTLY
THEY WON'T, DEAR.
THAT'S WHY THEY
NEED THE DONATIONS.
SO YOU HAVE A FORMAL COMING UP?
YEAH, BUT I DON'T
THINK I'M GONNA GO.
NONSENSE. OF
COURSE YOU'RE GOING.
MOM, IF RORY DOESN'T WANNA
GO, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO.
WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE WOULDN'T WANNA GO.
I KNOW YOU DON'T.
I'M GONNA GO GET ANOTHER COKE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IF SHE DOESN'T WANNA GO
THEN IT MUST BE BECAUSE
OF SOMETHING YOU SAID.
MOM, I PROMISE. ALL I EVER
SAID TO HER ABOUT DANCES
IS THAT YOU GO, YOU DANCE, YOU HAVE
PUNCH, YOU EAT, YOU TAKE A PICTURE,
AND THEN YOU GET AUCTIONED OFF
TO A BIKER GANG FROM SAUSALITO.
LORELAI, THIS IS SERIOUS.
MOM, I SAID NOTHING, OK?
RORY'S DISDAIN OF
FORMALS IS TOTALLY HER OWN.
LET'S JUST DROP IT, PLEASE.
FINE. FINE.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TOMATO?
IT WAS FRATERNIZING
WITH THE ENEMY.
WHY DIDN'T YOU
MENTION THE DANCE?
BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING. OH.
BUT WHY AREN'T YOU GOING?
BECAUSE I HATE DANCES.
GOOD ANSWER.
EXCEPT YOU'VE NEVER
ACTUALLY BEEN TO A DANCE.
SO? SO YOU HAVE
NOTHING TO COMPARE IT TO.
NO, BUT I CAN IMAGINE IT.
THAT'S TRUE.
HOWEVER, NOT REALLY,
SINCE YOU'VE NEVER
ACTUALLY BEEN TO ONE.
YOU'RE BASING ALL
YOUR DANCE OPINIONS
ON ONE VIEWING OF 16 CANDLES.
SO?
SO YOU SHOULD HAVE A DECENT
REASON FOR HATING SOMETHING
BEFORE YOU REALLY
DECIDE YOU HATE IT.
TRUST ME, I'LL HATE IT.
IT'LL BE STUFFY AND BORING,
AND THE MUSIC WILL SUCK.
SINCE NONE OF THE
KIDS AT SCHOOL LIKE ME,
I'LL BE STANDING IN THE BACK
LISTENING TO 98 DEGREES,
WATCHING TRISTIN
AND PARIS ARGUE OVER
WHICH ONE OF THEM GETS
TO MAKE ME MISERABLE FIRST.
OK. OR IT'LL BE ALL
SPARKLY AND EXCITING.
AND YOU'LL BE STANDING ON THE
DANCE FLOOR LISTENING TO TOM WAITS
WITH SOME GREAT-LOOKING
GUY STARING AT YOU SO HARD
THAT YOU DON'T REALIZE THAT PARIS
AND TRISTIN WERE JUST EATEN BY BEARS.
WHAT GUY?
MAYBE THE GUY WHO HANGS
OUT IN OUR TREES ALL DAY
WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME.
DEAN DOES NOT HANG OUT IN TREES.
HE BASHED HIS HEAD
IN A BRANCH LAST WEEK
WHEN I CAME OUT TOO QUICKLY.
WHY DO YOU CARE ALL
OF A SUDDEN IF I GO?
I... I DON'T CARE IF YOU GO.
I... I JUST DON'T
WANT YOU TO MISS
ANY EXPERIENCE BECAUSE
YOU'RE TOO AFRAID.
I'M AFRAID? OF WHAT?
OF ASKING DEAN,
OF... OF HIM SAYING NO,
OF... OF GOING TO A DANCE
WITH A BUNCH OF KIDS
WHO HAVEN'T ACCEPTED YOU YET,
OF DANCING IN PUBLIC,
OF FINDING OUT YOU SHOULD
NEVER BE DANCING IN PUBLIC.
OK, OK, I GET IT.
LISTEN, I KNOW YOU
ARE NOT MISS PARTY GIRL,
AND... AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT,
BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER.
DO YOU NOT JOIN IN
BECAUSE YOU
REALLY DON'T WANT TO,
OR BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO SHY?
IF THE REASON YOU DON'T WANNA GO IS
BECAUSE YOU REALLY DON'T WANNA GO
AND NOT BECAUSE YOU
ARE IN ANY WAY AFRAID,
THEN THIS IS THE LAST
TIME I'LL MENTION IT.
I PROMISE.
I DON'T HAVE A DRESS.
I COULD MAKE YOU ONE.
REALLY? OH, YEAH.
WE COULD GET SOME GREAT
SHOES, AND SOME NEW EARRINGS.
WE COULD GET YOUR HAIR DONE.
YOU WON'T THINK I'M AN IDIOT?
IT DEPENDS ON WHAT
HAIRSTYLE YOU CHOOSE.
THIS DANCE COULD
BE GREAT FOR YOU.
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
HE'S GONNA SAY NO.
WHY WOULD HE SAY NO?
WHY WOULD HE SAY YES?
RORY, LISTEN,
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO
POINT IN HAVING A BOYFRIEND
IF HE WON'T GO TO
THE DANCE WITH YOU.
HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.
REALLY? NO.
WHAT IS HE THEN?
HE'S MY GENTLEMAN CALLER.
OK, BLANCHE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS,
BUT HE'S NOT A BOYFRIEND.
DO YOU THINK HE'S MY BOYFRIEND?
I THINK YOU GUYS SPEND A LOT
OF TIME NOT KISSING OTHER PEOPLE,
IF IT ISN'T THAT SORT OF THING.
GIRLFRIEND. YOU.
BOYFRIEND. HIM.
NO, IT SOUNDS WEIRD.
LOOK, HAVE YOU HAD THE TALK YET?
YES, LANE.
BABIES COME FROM THE STORK.
THE OTHER TALK.
WHAT OTHER TALK?
"WE'VE BEEN DATING
A FEW WEEKS NOW.
"WHERE DO WE STAND?
WHAT ARE WE TO EACH OTHER?
IF ANOTHER GIRL ASKS YOU
OUT, DO YOU FEEL FREE TO GO?"
HOW DO YOU KNOW
SO MUCH ABOUT THIS?
THOSE WHO CAN, DO.
THOSE WHO CAN'T, TEACH.
THERE HE IS.
I SHOULD DO THIS LATER.
NO. NO, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS NOW.
WHY? BECAUSE I HAVE
TO GO HOME SOON
AND MY MOM THREW OUT OUR T.V.
WHEN SHE CAUGHT
ME WATCHING V.I.P.
SO I'M BORED, AND I NEED
SOME ENTERTAINMENT.
OK, HERE I GO.
GOOD LUCK.
OH, AND RORY,
REMEMBER TO ENUNCIATE.
I'M READING LIPS OUT HERE.
HEY.
OH, UH, HEY.
YOU'RE BUSY.
YEAH, I... I JUST HAVE TO PUT
THE NEW GREEN BEAN SHIPMENT
ON THE SHELVES.
YOU WANNA HELP? YEAH, SURE.
I, UH, I LOVE STACKING BEANS.
OK, UH, FOLLOW ME.
SO DO YOU WORK ON
SATURDAYS? I FORGET.
WELL, IT DEPENDS.
SOMETIMES I COME IN IF
I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS.
WHY?
NO REASON.
SEE, THERE'S THIS THING
AT MY SCHOOL ON SATURDAY.
WELL, IT'S NOT
REALLY AT MY SCHOOL,
BUT IT'S... IT'S KIND OF
GIVEN BY MY SCHOOL.
WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S THIS KIND OF
THING WHERE YOU GO,
AND THEY PLAY MUSIC
AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET DRESSED
UP AND DANCE, AND THEN THERE'S CHICKEN.
CHICKEN?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
IF THERE'S CHICKEN.
BUT AT THESE KINDS OF THINGS
THEY OFTEN SERVE CHICKEN
BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY
CHEAPER AND PEOPLE EAT IT.
SO THE LOGIC BEHIND THE CHICKEN
CHOICE REALLY ISN'T THAT BAD.
I'M LOST.
IT'S A DANCE.
AH!
AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M
DYING TO GO OR ANYTHING,
BUT IT IS A NEW SCHOOL
AND BEING A PART OF
THE SOCIAL ACTIVITIES
IS REALLY IMPORTANT AT CHILTON.
SO ARE YOU ASKING ME TO
GO TO A DANCE WITH YOU?
NO.
YES. I MEAN, IF
YOU WANTED TO GO,
I WOULD GO, TOO.
WELL, THAT WOULD PROBABLY
BE GOOD SINCE IT'S YOUR SCHOOL.
RIGHT.
SO DO YOU WANNA GO?
HONESTLY?
YEAH.
I, UH...
I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER
GONE TO A DANCE BEFORE.
BECAUSE THEY'RE LAME?
YEAH, AND IT'S NOT THE WAY
I EVER WANTED TO SPEND MY TIME.
I MEAN, I'M NOT A BIG JOINER.
OK, FAIR ENOUGH.
MORE BEANS, PLEASE.
YOU WANNA GO, DON'T YOU?
NO, I DON'T.
I HAVE NO DESIRE TO GO AT ALL.
I WAS JUST THINKING
OUT LOUD, THAT'S ALL.
SO, UH, WHAT WOULD
I HAVE TO WEAR?
WHAT?
TO THIS DANCE. WHAT
WOULD I HAVE TO WEAR?
ANYTHING YOU WANT. COME ON.
NO, REALLY, WHATEVER
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE IN IS FINE.
SOME SORT OF PANTS
WOULD BE GOOD. RORY.
IT'S COAT AND TIE. OH, MAN.
BUT YOU COULD PROBABLY GET
AWAY WITH A COAT AND NO TIE.
OK.
REALLY? YEAH.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
OW.
EXTRA THREAD. OH, GOD BLESS!
I'VE BEEN WORKING SO
HARD TO FINISH RORY'S DRESS,
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET OUT.
JEEZ, YOU ARE WALKING FUNNY.
I KNOW.
RORY'S DRESS MADE A PASS AT ME,
AND I THINK I PULLED
SOMETHING GETTING UP.
HERE, SIT, SIT, SIT.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT
AN ACE BANDAGE IN MY BAG.
I'M NOT SURE HOW WE CAN WRAP IT,
BUT MAYBE WE CAN DO
SOMETHING CREATIVE AND...
SOOKIE.
LET'S SEE.
WOW!
OK, I GOT PERCODAN,
VICODIN, DARVOCET, AND, UH...
WELL, TAKE THIS ONE.
IT'S A MUSCLE-RELAXER.
VERY MILD, I PROMISE.
THANKS. MAYBE LATER.
OK, I'VE GOTTA GO.
YOU SURE YOU'RE GONNA BE OK?
I'M SURE. OK.
BYE. BYE.
OW.
OW, OW, OW, OW.
YEAH.
YOU SOUND TERRIBLE.
I'M FINE, MOM. I JUST
STUBBED MY TOE.
YOU SHOULD GET RID OF THE
CLUTTER IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.
MAYBE.
THAT ROOM IS A HAZARD.
AH! I'VE SEEN THE
LIGHT. EVERYTHING GOES.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
I WANNA TALK ABOUT RORY'S DANCE.
IT'S JUST KILLING ME
THAT SHE'S NOT GOING.
UH-HUH.
THIS MAY SEEM FRIVOLOUS
AND SILLY TO HER NOW,
BUT BELIEVE ME, THESE ARE
THE KIND OF EXPERIENCES
YOU REGRET MISSING LATER.
OK.
AND REGRET CAN MAKE YOU BITTER.
DO YOU WANT RORY TO BE BITTER?
WELL, SORT OF.
LORELAI!
SHE COULD MAKE
SOME CASH OFF OF IT.
BECOME A CRAZY OSCAR
LEVANT KIND OF CELEBRITY,
GO ON TALK SHOWS, HECKLE REGIS.
I WISH YOU WOULD
TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
MOM, RORY IS GOING TO THE DANCE.
SHE IS?
UH-HUH.
OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL!
I'M THRILLED.
I'M, UH, I'M MAKING
HER DRESS RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE MAKING HER DRESS?
YEP.
BUT WHY?
WELL, SO SHE'LL LOOK REALLY UGLY
AND PEOPLE WILL POINT
AND THROW ROCKS.
WHY DON'T YOU LET
ME BUY HER A DRESS?
MOM, YOU WERE THRILLED 5
SECONDS AGO, REMEMBER?
YOU'RE NOT USING THE
CURTAINS, ARE YOU?
MOM, I GOTTA GO.
UH, JUST... JUST ONE MORE THING.
TAKE A PICTURE OF
RORY FOR ME, PLEASE?
I WILL. ON THE STAIRS.
AND... AND ONE BY
THE FRONT DOOR.
AND ONE AS SHE'S GETTING READY.
YOU KNOW, PUTTING HER HAIR
UP, PUTTING HER MAKEUP ON.
OK, DO YOU WANT ONE WHEN
SHE'S SHAVING HER LEGS?
YOU KNOW, ONE LEG UP,
IN THE TUB,
WAVING THE DISPOSABLE
RAZOR IN THE AIR?
THIS IS A
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME EVENT.
YOU GET TO BE THERE AND I DON'T.
OH, BOY!
IF I GOT ENOUGH
PICTURES, I COULD AT LEAST
LINE THEM UP IN
CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER
AND PRETEND I WAS THERE.
MOM.
MAYBE BIND THEM TOGETHER,
MAKE A FLIPBOOK OUT OF THEM.
MOM, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
COME OVER ON SATURDAY
AND SEE RORY GO TO THE DANCE?
WHY, WHAT A NICE IDEA.
I'D LOVE THAT.
THANK YOU. I'LL SEE YOU AT 7:00.
HI, TRISTIN. PARIS.
TWO, I ASSUME?
YOU ASSUME RIGHT.
SO, WHO ARE YOU TAKING?
WHY, ARE YOU FREE?
I'M, UH...
NO, WHAT AM I THINKING?
YOU WOULDN'T BE FREE
THIS CLOSE TO THE DANCE.
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
HEY, IS YOUR HAIR SHORTER?
YEAH. QUARTER OF AN INCH.
REALLY? I GOT IT TRIMMED.
IT LOOKS GOOD.
THANKS.
AND SHE'S READING
AGAIN. HOW NOVEL.
GOODBYE, TRISTIN.
WELL, DID YOU GET THE
"NOVEL" THING? BECAUSE...
I SAID GOODBYE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I LIKE LINES.
THE GUY'S SUPPOSED
TO BUY THE TICKETS.
REALLY?
DOES SUSAN FALUDI
KNOW ABOUT THIS?
NO, UNLESS, OF
COURSE, THERE IS NO GUY.
NO, THERE IS A GUY.
A CHEAP GUY.
WELL, WHAT CAN I
SAY? I LIKE 'EM CHEAP.
SLOPPY, TOO. BALD
SPOT, BEER GUT,
AND THE PANTS THAT
SLIP DOWN IN THE BACK,
GIVING YOU THAT
GOOD PLUMBER SHOT.
THAT SENDS ME THROUGH THE ROOF.
SO, WHO IS HE?
HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SAY
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" IN?
DOES HE GO TO THIS SCHOOL?
NO, HE DOESN'T.
UH-HUH.
LOOK, OK, I'LL CONFESS
SOMETHING TO YOU.
I DON'T HAVE A DATE.
WELL, I HEAR SQUEAKY
FROMME'S UP FOR PAROLE SOON.
YOU SHOULD KEEP A GOOD THOUGHT.
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
YOU'D LIKE TO GO WITH ME.
YOU DID NOT. WELL, I DID, TOO.
YOU DID NOT, BECAUSE
YOU ARE NOT STUPID.
WHY, THANK YOU.
SLIMY AND WEASELLY,
YES. BUT STUPID, NO.
YOU'D HAVE TO BE STUPID TO THINK
THAT, GIVEN OUR
HISTORY, I WOULD EVER,
BARRING A PIANO OR A
SAFE FALLING ON MY HEAD,
WANNA GO ANYWHERE
WITH YOU. EVER.
OK, FINE. I'LL TAKE CISSY.
I'LL SEND HER A CONDOLENCE CARD.
YEAH. WELL, AT LEAST SHE
WON'T BE BUYING HER OWN TICKET.
TWO, PLEASE.
IDIOT. EXCUSE ME?
HE WAS TOTALLY NICE TO
YOU AND YOU WERE A BIG JERK.
IF YOU LIKE TRISTIN SO
MUCH, YOU GO OUT WITH HIM.
I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH
CHANGE. PAY ME LATER.
WHAT AM I, YOUR VERSATELLER?
WAIT FOR CHANGE.
I NEED CHANGE! NOW!
YOU CAN'T BE GOING WITH
SOMEONE BETTER THAN TRISTIN.
WHATEVER.
YOU PROBABLY DON'T
EVEN HAVE A DATE.
YOU'RE PROBABLY
GOING TO COME DOWN
WITH SOME RARE FORM OF FLU
THAT ONLY HITS
LOSERS ON DANCE NIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I
DON'T WANT MY CHANGE.
MONEY MAKES PEOPLE SHALLOW.
I'VE GOT YOUR CHANGE!
HEY! HEY, IF YOU THINK
I'M KEEPING THIS DOLLAR,
I'M NOT!
I'LL TAKE IT. SHUT UP.
COME ON, ALREADY!
I'M PRIMPING.
YOU'RE 16, YOU HAVE
SKIN LIKE A BABY'S ASS.
THERE'S NOTHING TO PRIMP.
OK, OK, HERE I COME.
WOW. SOMEONE HIT
YOU WITH A PRETTY STICK.
THIS DRESS IS AMAZING.
YOU OUTDID YOURSELF.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL. BABY,
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
COME HERE. WHAT?
STRAY HAIR.
FIX, PLEASE.
HMM, I THINK MY FAVORITE
PART IS THE SHOES.
THE HEELS HURT.
WELL, BEAUTY IS PAIN.
I'LL JUST THROW 'EM
ON ON MY WAY OUT.
YOU SHOULD PUT THEM ON NOW
AND LET YOUR FEET GET REALLY NUMB.
THAT'S SICK.
GO GET ME THE HAIR SPRAY. OK.
IT'S OPEN!
IT'S ME!
I GOT TACOS.
YAY!
I GOT EXTRA HOT SAUCE
AND A COUPLE OF EXTRA BURRITOS
TO PUT IN THE FRIDGE IN
CASE YOU GET HUNGRY LATER.
YOU TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME.
SOOKIE, LOOK.
OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE A MOVIE STAR!
I'M SERIOUS.
AT SOME POINT TONIGHT,
WALK DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
MOVIE STARS ALWAYS
WALK DOWN STAIRCASES.
LET ME SPRAY WHILE YOU TRY
TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SHE SAID.
YOU DON'T MOVE. I GOT IT.
OK, HERE.
OH! SOOKIE.
WRONG WAY. I GOT IT.
ARE YOU OK?
YEAH, SWEETIE. HAND
THAT TO YOUR MOTHER.
AND MY EYELASHES ARE
ALL STUCK TOGETHER.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE.
SHIELD THE TACOS.
OK, READY?
GOD!
OK.
THAT'LL BE GOOD
FOR 6 SLOW DANCES,
4 MEDIUM ONES, ONE LAMBADA,
BUT IF YOU WANNA DO ANY
MOSHING, I SUGGEST ANOTHER COAT.
NO, I THINK I'M GOOD.
RORY, SWEETIE, IS THIS SOAP
BY THE SINK IN
THE SILVER BOTTLE?
NO. OOPS.
GO IN THERE, QUICK.
WE'RE IN HERE!
"WE'RE IN HERE"?
THAT'S HOW YOU ANSWER THE DOOR?
WELL, I WAS ALL
OUT OF SARAN WRAP.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO
FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
WHERE IS MY GRANDDAUGHTER?
KITCHEN.
OH, PERFECT.
I WANNA BE ALL READY
FOR THE BIG ENTRANCE.
HOW'S THE LIGHT IN
HERE? NEVER MIND.
I'LL TAKE ONE WITH THE FLASH
AND ONE WITHOUT TO MAKE
SURE WE'VE GOT IT RIGHT.
WOW, MOM, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'D THINK ANNE TAYLOR WAS
HAVING A SALE OR SOMETHING.
OK, RORY, COME IN HERE, PLEASE.
HEY, GRANDMA.
SHE HAS LIVED WITH YOU TOO LONG.
HONEY, LOSE THE
BIB AND THE TACO,
PUT YOUR SHOES ON
AND COME BACK OUT.
LET GRANDMA TAKE
THE PRETTY PICTURE.
OK.
I'M GONNA GET GOING.
YOU ARE NOT DRIVING.
I WALKED.
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, MRS. GILMORE,
OR AT LEAST MAKE OUT YOUR SHAPE.
CALL ME IN 15 MINUTES, OR
I'LL SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY.
WELL, AND YOU CALL ME
IF I NEED TO COME OVER
AND HELP YOU UP THE
STAIRS OR SOMETHING.
NO, I'LL BE FINE.
BYE.
WHY WOULD YOU NEED
HELP UP THE STAIRS?
NO REASON.
RORY, LET'S GO.
YOUR PUBLIC AWAITS!
WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?
I'M COMFORTABLE, THAT'S ALL.
ARE YOU HURT?
I HAVE A LITTLE BACK
SPASM. THAT'S IT.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
WHAT SORT OF BACK SPASM?
I DON'T KNOW, MOM.
JUST A NORMAL ONE.
THERE IS NOTHING NORMAL
ABOUT A BACK SPASM.
THE FACT THAT IT HAS THE WORD
"SPASM" IN IT MEANS IT'S NOT NORMAL.
HERE SHE IS. GET
YOUR CAMERA MOVING.
WHAT?
OH, MY! YOU'RE GORGEOUS.
OH! SMILE!
I'M SO GLAD YOU DECIDED
TO BUY HER A DRESS.
THAT'S DEAN.
HEY, COME HERE.
HAVE AN AMAZING TIME.
I'LL CHRONICLE THE WHOLE
EVENING FOR YOU, I PROMISE.
BYE, GRANDMA.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO THE DANCE.
YOU DO NOT GO RUNNING OUT
THE DOOR WHEN A BOY HONKS.
MOM, IT'S FINE.
IT CERTAINLY IS NOT FINE.
THIS IS NOT A DRIVE-THROUGH.
SHE'S NOT FRIED CHICKEN.
BUT I TOLD HIM TO HONK AND I'D
MEET HIM OUT THERE. WE AGREED.
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU TOLD HIM.
IF HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU OUT,
HE WILL WALK UP TO THIS DOOR
AND KNOCK, AND
SAY, "GOOD EVENING,"
AND COME INSIDE FOR A MOMENT
LIKE ANY CIVILIZED HUMAN
BEING WOULD KNOW TO DO.
NOW, MOM, THIS IS SILLY.
I HAVE MET HIM ALREADY.
WELL, I HAVEN'T.
YEAH, BUT...
WE WILL WAIT UNTIL
HE COMES TO THE DOOR.
HE DOESN'T KNOW
HE'S SUPPOSED TO.
HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
HE'S NOT A VERY
BRIGHT BOY, IS HE?
MOM, PLEASE.
DON'T RUSH.
A LADY NEVER RUSHES.
HEY. HEY.
UH, I THOUGHT I WAS
SUPPOSED TO HONK.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
YOUNG MAN, COME IN HERE, PLEASE.
HEY, DEAN. MEET MY
MOTHER, EMILY POST.
EMILY GILMORE. HI.
HELLO. GREAT RAP SESSION.
YOU GUYS ARE OUT OF HERE.
HAVE FUN. BE HOME BY 11:00.
12:00.
BYE, GRANDMA. BYE, MOM.
BYE.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS BOY?
I KNOW THAT RORY LIKES HIM,
AND THAT HIS PAROLE OFFICER HAS
HIGH HOPES FOR HIS REHABILITATION.
DOES HE DRINK? LIKE A FISH.
THAT'S NOT A CRAZY QUESTION.
IT IS A CRAZY QUESTION, MOM,
BECAUSE IF I HAD KNOWLEDGE
OF HIM BEING A DRINKER,
HE WOULD NOT BE WITH RORY NOW.
YES, BUT...
MOM, PLEASE RELAX.
DEAN IS A GOOD KID.
RORY'S GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME.
YOU GOT YOUR PICTURES.
TOMORROW I WILL CALL YOU
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE DETAILS.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU CERTAINLY
CAN'T BE LEFT ALONE.
YES, I CAN.
YOU CAN BARELY MOVE. YOU'VE
BEEN SITTING THERE SINCE I GOT HERE.
THAT'S BECAUSE THIS IS
A RIGHT COMFY COUCH.
MAYBE I SHOULD
STAY. NO, NO, MOM.
YOU REALLY DON'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
I'M NOT LEAVING MY DAUGHTER
STRANDED ON THE COUCH.
WHAT IF YOU NEED TO
GET TO THE BATHROOM?
I DON'T GO ANYMORE, MOM.
I GAVE IT UP COLD TURKEY.
I'M STAYING.
NO, MOM.
LOOK, I CAN STAND, OK?
SEE?
I'M UP. OK, SEE?
I'M... I'M FINE.
MOVE. WHAT?
MOVE. IF YOU'RE FINE, THEN MOVE.
I CAN MOVE.
THIS IS ME MOVING.
ANY SECOND NOW,
THE MOVING WILL BEGIN.
RATS.
I'LL GO START SOME TEA.
PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE
SOMETHING BESIDES LIPTON.
A STROKE WOULD BE SO
GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST FORGET ABOUT THIS.
OK.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST A DANCE.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
BEATS ME.
AND THESE KIDS AT
MY SCHOOL... AWFUL.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE OUTSIDERS?
YEAH, I HAVE.
JUST CALL ME PONYBOY.
I HEARD THIS PLACE
IS BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH.
OLD AND HISTORIC.
OH.
MAYBE WE COULD JUST
GO IN FOR A MINUTE.
FINE.
OR NOT.
FINE, TOO.
I DON'T KNOW.
WHY CAN'T I DECIDE?
THIS IS STUPID.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK THAT YOU
LOOK AMAZING TONIGHT.
MAYBE JUST A COUPLE
OF MINUTES WON'T HURT.
YES, MARTA.
JUST MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S
LOCKED UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE.
NO, I WON'T BE HOME TONIGHT.
OH!
WAS THAT A PAIN?
YES, A BIG ONE.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. BYE.
SO, MOM, YOU REALLY,
REALLY DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
DON'T BE SILLY. I COULDN'T
POSSIBLY LEAVE YOU ALONE LIKE THIS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MOM?
I'M TRYING TO FIND THE
CANDLESTICKS I BOUGHT YOU.
WHAT CANDLESTICKS?
THE BACCARAT CANDLESTICKS I
BOUGHT YOU LAST YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS.
I ASSUME THAT YOU STUFFED THEM IN
THE BACK OF THE CLOSET SOMEWHERE.
UH, NO, I DID NOT STUFF THEM
IN THE BACK OF THE CLOSET.
WELL, THEN, WHERE ARE
THEY? I DON'T SEE THEM OUT.
WELL, SEE, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY
HAVE A BIG USE FOR THE
CRYSTAL CANDLESTICKS.
SO I KIND OF...
EXCHANGED THEM.
FOR WHAT?
A MONKEY LAMP.
PARDON ME?
IT'S A LAMP WITH A
BUNCH OF MONKEYS ON IT.
BACCARAT CRYSTAL
CANDLESTICKS FOR A MONKEY LAMP?
THEY'RE REALLY, REALLY
HAPPY MONKEYS, MOM.
WHERE IS THIS LAMP?
I WANT TO SEE IT.
IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE DESK.
OH, MY GOD!
THEY'RE HOLDING
COCONUTS AND LEERING.
IT'S FUNNY.
YOU TRADED MY LOVELY GIFT
FOR A SEMI-PORNOGRAPHIC, LEERING
MONKEY LAMP? HOW COULD YOU?
THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE BAD
BREEDING OF RETURNING A GIFT.
THIS GOES TO THE VERY HEART
OF THE QUESTION OF TASTE.
YOU WERE GIVEN
SOMETHING OF SUBSTANCE,
AND YOU CAST IT OFF
FOR A RIDICULOUS, SLIGHTLY
SINISTER BARROOM DECORATION?
EXPLAIN THIS TO ME, LORELAI.
MY BACK HURTS.
♪
♪ AND I WON'T TAKE FROM YOU ♪
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW 'BOUT
A ZILLION YEARS AGO ♪
♪ SOME STAR SNEEZED ♪
WELL, IT'S A VERY GOOD ROOM.
LOOKS HISTORICAL.
I COMMEND THE PERSON WHO
SUGGESTED THIS LOCATION.
SO, WE COULD JUST GET OUR
PICTURE TAKEN AND LEAVE.
WE COULD.
OR WE COULD
DANCE A LITTLE FIRST.
YEAH?
I STRESSED "A LITTLE."
SOMETHING SLOW.
THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
CAN WE GO YET?
WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN DINNER.
I'M BORED.
WE HAVE TO WAIT
FOR PARIS ANYWAY.
FINE. GIVE ME YOUR ROLL.
WOW. WHAT?
RORY GILMORE.
GOD, SHE'S GOT GOOD HAIR.
WHO'S THE DISH? BEATS ME.
HE'S NOT FROM THE MANOR
BORN, THAT'S FOR SURE.
LET'S GO.
SO, SHOULD WE DANCE
OR SHOULD WE SIT FIRST?
RORY, YOU CAME.
GREAT DRESS. WHO'S IT BY?
LORELAI GILMORE.
YOU MADE IT YOURSELF?
NO, MY MOM MADE IT FOR ME.
SHE DID, REALLY?
YEAH.
SO, YOU'RE TRAVELING
WITH A BODYGUARD NOW?
OH, NO, THIS IS
MY... THIS IS DEAN.
DEAN, THIS IS LOUISE
AND MADELINE.
HI. MY MOM CAN'T MAKE ANYTHING.
HOW TALL ARE YOU?
SOUP, SHE CAN MAKE SOUP.
YOU KNOW, MY WHOLE
FAMILY IS REALLY TALL.
I MEAN, THE MEN MOSTLY.
WHAT ARE YOU, 6'1 ", 6'2"?
DOES HE GET, LIKE, A
PRIZE IF HE GUESSES?
ONE KIND OF SOUP, ACTUALLY.
IT'S GREEN, LUMPY.
I'M 6'2".
ACTUALLY, SHE CAN'T
MAKE SOUP EITHER.
6'2" IS A GOOD HEIGHT.
YOU THINK?
I THINK.
HUH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? TOO TALL?
NOT IN HEELS. GOOD.
ALTHOUGH, THE SADDLE SHOES
MAKE IT KIND OF DIFFICULT.
OH, I'LL JUST HAVE
TO STOOP THEN.
I GUESS SO.
OK, I'M BORED.
I LIKE YOUR DRESS.
THANKS.
HEY, YOU'RE NICE.
SLOW SONG.
LET'S GO.
RORY. PARIS.
I SEE YOU CAME.
YOU SOLD ME THE TICKET.
I'M JACOB.
HI, I'M RORY. THIS IS DEAN.
HI. HI.
EXCUSE US.
THOSE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I WAS BEING POLITE.
WELL, DON'T.
SO, THAT'S PARIS?
YES, IT IS.
SHE SEEMS FUN.
OH, YEAH, SHE IS.
OK, SO THIS DANCING THING IS NOT
SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO GET USED TO
OR COMMENT ON.
NOW, THAT GOES BOTH WAYS.
♪
♪ I LOOK TO YOU
AND I SEE NOTHING ♪
HEY, IF I KISS YOU, IS A NUN GONNA
COME OUT AND BOOT ME OUT OF HERE?
IT'S NOT A CATHOLIC SCHOOL.
SO I CAN KISS YOU?
YEAH, YOU CAN KISS ME.
♪ YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE
YOU GO IN SHADOWS ♪
OK, I'M PERFECT NOW.
GREAT.
YOU WANT TO DANCE?
NOPE.
YOU WANT TO EAT? NOPE.
YOU WANT TO GO MAKE OUT?
YEAH, ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
♪ SOME KIND OF NIGHT ♪
SO, PONYBOY, YOU HAPPY?
YEAH, I'M HAPPY.
♪ COLORS YOUR EYES ♪
THERE YOU GO.
MOM, I THINK SOMEBODY
ALREADY ATE THAT.
THAT IS A MASHED
BANANA ON TOAST.
OK.
I USED TO MAKE THIS FOR YOU
WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL.
YOU DID?
WHENEVER YOU
GOT SICK, I MADE THIS.
YOU SURE IT WASN'T
THE OTHER WAY AROUND?
YOU DON'T WANT
IT? NO, NO, I WANT IT.
I'LL JUST TAKE IT BACK.
MOM, I SAID I WANT IT.
ARE YOU SURE?
BECAUSE I COULD THROW IT AWAY.
RELINQUISH THE BANANA, PLEASE.
MMM.
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE
COMFORTABLE LIKE THAT.
MOTHER, PLEASE, THIS IS THE
FIRST POSITION IN 24 HOURS
THAT HAS NOT MADE ME CRAZY.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT EATING.
MOM, PLEASE DON'T
MAKE ME EAT THIS.
WELL, YOU HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING.
WELL, SOOKIE LEFT ME A
BURRITO IN THE FRIDGE.
I'LL GO WARM IT UP FOR YOU.
I CAN EAT IT COLD.
OH.
FINE, I'LL JUST GO GET IT THEN.
HOT'S BETTER, THOUGH.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OK, UH, I NEED
SOMETHING TO DRINK.
YOU WANT SOME PUNCH?
SURE.
♪
HI. RORY, RIGHT?
YES.
JACOB. WE MET
EARLIER WITH PARIS.
YES, I REMEMBER.
ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?
ACTUALLY, I AM. YOU?
IT'S OK.
SO, WAS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?
OH, I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT SURE.
YOU'RE NOT SURE?
WE'VE ONLY BEEN GOING
OUT FOR A LITTLE WHILE...
SO THERE'S STILL A
LITTLE ROOM TO PLAY?
WHAT?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?
OH, NO, THANKS.
MAYBE I COULD GET YOUR NUMBER?
WHAT FOR?
TO CALL YOU.
I-I-I'M SORRY, AREN'T
YOU HERE WITH PARIS?
YEAH.
SO MAYBE YOU
SHOULDN'T BE OVER HERE
ASKING ME FOR MY NUMBER THEN.
WHY? PARIS IS MY COUSIN.
YOUR COUSIN?
YEAH.
PARIS IS YOUR COUSIN?
YOU'RE RELATED?
YEAH.
JACOB, IT'S BEEN VERY
NICE TO MEET YOU.
I HOPE YOU HAVE
A LOVELY EVENING.
YOU'RE A SMART INSURANCE MAN...
OH, LOOK. BARBARA STANWYCK.
I JUST LOVE BARBARA STANWYCK.
YEAH, SHE'S GOOD.
SHE HAD THAT WONDERFUL
VOICE, THAT HUSKY, DEEP VOICE.
I JUST LOVE THAT VOICE.
HMM.
YOU KNOW, MOM, YOU HAVE KIND
OF A BARBARA STANWYCKY VOICE.
I DO NOT.
I MEAN IT.
YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN
FRED MacMURRAY TO OFF DAD
IF YOU'D REALLY WANTED TO.
YOU DO ENJOY
TEASING ME, DON'T YOU?
YOU KNOW, I REALLY DO.
YOU KNOW, RORY LOOKED
SO LOVELY TONIGHT.
SHE DID, DIDN'T SHE?
I CAN'T GET OVER HOW
SHE'S GROWN UP INTO
THAT LITTLE WOMAN
WHO WALKED OUT OF HERE.
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?
MMM?
I MADE THE DRESS.
YOU DID A LOVELY JOB.
THANK YOU.
WITH RORY AND THE DRESS.
THANK YOU.
WELL,
LET ME GET THIS OUT OF YOUR WAY.
YOU REALLY DON'T REMEMBER ME
MAKING THIS FOR YOU WHEN YOU WERE SICK?
I DON'T, I'M SORRY.
WELL, I DID, AND YOU LOVED IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME GIVE IT A TRY.
ALL RIGHT.
AHEM.
MMM.
YES?
IT'S EVEN MORE DISGUSTING
THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.
OH, IT IS NOT.
OH, MY GOD, IT'S HORRIBLE!
WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING?
SO, UH, YOU WANNA MAYBE GO?
YOU'RE BORED? I'M SORRY.
LET'S GO, RIGHT AWAY.
I-I'M NOT BORED.
I THOUGHT THERE'S
STILL A LITTLE TIME LEFT.
MAYBE WE COULD GET A
CUP OF COFFEE SOMEWHERE
HANG OUT A LITTLE, TAKE A WALK.
YOU KNOW, JUST US.
THAT'D BE NICE.
NO, YOU STAY. I'LL
GET THE COATS.
SO HOW MANY PEOPLE
HAVE YOU TOLD?
4? 5? EVERYBODY?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU KNOW THAT
JACOB IS MY COUSIN.
NOW YOU HAVE ALL THE AMMUNITION
YOU EVER NEEDED TO
PAY ME BACK, RIGHT?
I DON'T WANNA PAY YOU BACK,
I WANNA GET AWAY FROM YOU.
NOW YOU CAN GO ALL OVER
SCHOOL TELLING EVERYONE
THAT PARIS GELLER COULDN'T
GET A DATE TO THE DANCE.
THAT SHE HAD NO ONE.
SINCE SHE COULDN'T
JUST NOT COME,
SHE HAD TO GET HER MOTHER
TO ASK HER COUSIN TO TAKE HER.
SHE HAD TO GIVE HIM GAS
MONEY TO MAKE HIM DO IT.
GO AHEAD, TELL THEM!
I DON'T HAVE TO. YOU JUST DID.
♪
♪ YOU WENT AWAY
YOU CAN'T COME BACK ♪
YOU KNOW, WE HAVEN'T MET.
NO, WE HAVEN'T.
I'M TRISTIN.
AH, YES, WE HAVE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
RORY'S MENTIONED YOU.
OH, YEAH?
I WOULDN'T GET QUITE
SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.
OH, WHY, DID SHE
SAY SOMETHING MEAN?
SHE SAID YOU'RE A JACKASS.
REALLY? ACTUALLY, NO.
RORY DOESN'T USE
WORDS LIKE THAT.
I EMBELLISHED A LITTLE.
SO YOU'RE THE BIG,
STRONG PROTECTOR?
LITTLE PRINCESS
NEEDS A PROTECTOR.
WHAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM, MAN? NOTHING.
I JUST DON'T LIKE YOUR
GIRLFRIEND. REALLY?
IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT WAY TO ME.
I DON'T REALLY CARE
HOW IT LOOKS TO YOU.
HEY, YOU GOT IN MY PATH,
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
WHY, ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?
GET OUT OF MY WAY, "DRISTAN."
AREN'T YOU CLEVER?
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING. JUST GETTING
TO KNOW YOUR BOYFRIEND.
IT'S GOING REAL WELL,
DON'T YOU THINK? YEAH.
WE'RE JUST ABOUT
TO BUILD A CLUBHOUSE.
WELL, I HATE TO BREAK UP
THE PARTY, BUT WE SHOULD GO.
WHY? LITTLE GIRL'S
GOT TO BE HOME?
STOP!
NO, I THINK YOU TWO
MAKE A VERY CUTE COUPLE.
IS YOUR HORSE AND
BUGGY PARKED OUTSIDE?
GOTTA GET HOME
FOR THE BARN RAISING?
LET'S GO.
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?
YOU WILL NOT PUSH ME AGAIN!
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY
TRYING TO ACT TOUGH?
YOU'RE WEARING A
TIE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
OUTSIDE, NOW.
NO, I'M NOT FIGHTING YOU. IT'D
BE LIKE FIGHTING AN ACCOUNTANT.
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I
NEED MY TAXES DONE.
YOU DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT ME, TRISTIN!
WHY NOT?
'CAUSE I'LL KILL YOU, IDIOT!
COME ON, RORY.
YOU WILL NOT COME
NEAR HER EVER AGAIN.
WOW, THAT WAS GOOD.
WHATEVER.
ARE YOU OK?
DID YOU REALLY
BRING YOUR COUSIN?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GO TO SLEEP.
THE MOVIE'S NOT OVER.
I'LL TELL YOU HOW IT ENDS.
THANK YOU, MOMMY.
THAT WAS QUITE A DANCE.
I SERIOUSLY DON'T
KNOW WHAT GOT INTO HIM.
I DO. WHAT?
HE HAS A THING FOR YOU.
NO, HE DOESN'T.
IT'S JUST A GAME TO
HIM OR SOMETHING.
HE HAS A THING FOR YOU.
HE DOES NOTHING BUT INSULT
ME AND MAKE ME MISERABLE.
HE HAS A THING FOR YOU.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL
ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I DON'T KNOW.
HAVING MY BOYFRIEND
DEFEND MY HONOR.
IT'S WEIRD.
UH, BOYFRIEND?
WHAT?
YOU SAID "BOYFRIEND."
NO, I JUST MEANT BOYFRIEND
IN THE SENSE THAT THE DEFENDING-ME
THING WAS VERY BOYFRIENDY,
BUT ONLY IN THE BROADEST
SENSE OF THE WORD
WHICH DOESN'T EVEN
APPLY AT ALL HERE.
YOU ARE SERIOUSLY BABBLING.
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT YOU
WERE MY BOYFRIEND.
OK.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
MY BOYFRIEND.
OK.
DEAN.
WHAT?
ARE YOU MY BOYFRIEND?
IN THE "BROADEST
SENSE OF THE WORD" WAY?
NO, IN THE REAL
"HI, THIS IS DEAN, MY
BOYFRIEND," KIND OF WAY.
WELL, I AM IF YOU WANT ME TO BE.
I DO.
OK.
SO IT'S SETTLED. YES, IT IS.
YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND.
THAT'S THE CONSENSUS.
I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD
ABOUT THIS DECISION.
WELL, I'M VERY GLAD TO HEAR IT.
I GUESS MISS PATTY
FORGOT TO LOCK UP.
I'VE NEVER REALLY
SEEN IN HERE BEFORE.
ARE ALL THESE WOMEN
REALLY MISS PATTY?
YEAH.
SHE SAID SHE'S DONE EVERYTHING
THERE'S TO DO IN SHOW BUSINESS
EXCEPT SET FIRE TO THE
HOOP THE DOG JUMPS THROUGH.
I'LL GET IT.
GOD, THIS WEIGHS A TON.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
A LIPSTICK, $5 BILL,
GUM, HAIR SPRAY, A BOOK.
A BOOK?
YEAH.
YOU BROUGHT A BOOK
TO THE DANCE? YEAH.
YOU THOUGHT THERE'D
BE A LOT OF DOWNTIME?
NO. I JUST TAKE A BOOK
WITH ME EVERYWHERE.
IT'S JUST HABIT.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU READING?
THE PORTABLE DOROTHY PARKER.
"THERE'S LITTLE IN
TAKING OR GIVING
"THERE'S LITTLE IN WATER OR WINE
THIS LIVING, THIS LIVING, THIS LIVING
WAS NEVER A PROJECT OF MINE."
CHEERY.
FUNNY, THOUGH.
HEY. WHAT?
THANK YOU FOR
TONIGHT. IT WAS PERFECT.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, LADIES, GRAB YOUR YOGA MATS.
OH, MY GOODNESS,
IT'S LORELAI'S GIRL!
PATTY, RORY GILMORE IS HERE.
WHAT?
SHE'S OVER HERE, ASLEEP WITH
THE BAG BOY FROM THE MARKET.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?
RORY, HONEY, IT'S MISS PATTY.
RORY? RORY? WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MISS PATTY?
YES. HAVE YOU BEEN
HERE ALL NIGHT?
OH, NO. DEAN, WAKE UP.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S 5:30 IN THE MORNING.
OH, MY GOD, WE FELL ASLEEP.
HOW COULD WE HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP?
CALM DOWN, I'LL... I'LL
EXPLAIN IT TO YOUR MOM.
WHERE'S MY PURSE?
WHERE'S MY PURSE?
I GOT IT. RELAX.
I HAVE TO GO.
RORY.
WAIT UP!
I HAVE TO GO!
I'M GOING WITH YOU.
WE'LL EXPLAIN. IT'LL BE OK.
NO, YOU CAN'T COME WITH ME.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE NEAR
MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.
I KNOW. I JUST HAVE TO GET HOME.
PLEASE LET ME COME WITH YOU.
NO! RORY.
I HAVE TO GO HOME.
LORELAI, GET UP. RIGHT NOW!
WHAT?
RORY'S NOT HOME.
RORY'S WHAT?
I SAT IN THAT CHAIR ALL NIGHT.
I DOZED OFF FOR ONE SECOND.
THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
IT'S 5:30 AND SHE'S NOT HERE.
RORY.
SHE'S NOT THERE.
AREN'T YOU LISTENING?
RORY. RORY.
WHERE'S THE PHONE?
CALL THE POLICE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CALL THE POLICE!
MOM, STOP IT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M LOOKING FOR THE
PHONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WHY DON'T YOU EVER
CLEAN UP AROUND HERE?
YOU CAN'T FIND THE PHONE IN AN
EMERGENCY. WHAT IF THERE WAS A FIRE?
W-W-WHAT IF RORY WAS CHOKING?
MOM, STOP YELLING.
RORY IS MISSING!
I KNOW THAT, AND YOUR
YELLING IS NOT HELPING ME.
RORY. OH, PATTY.
WHAT?
OK.
THANKS.
NO, THANK YOU SO
MUCH. OK, BYE-BYE.
RORY'S OK.
WHERE IS SHE? WHAT HAPPENED?
SHE AND DEAN WERE
AT MISS PATTY'S.
WHAT IS THAT, A MOTEL?
IT'S A DANCE STUDIO.
THAT WAS PATTY.
SHE SAID THAT SHE FOUND
THEM ASLEEP AND WOKE THEM UP,
AND RORY'S ON HER WAY HOME.
AND WHAT STATE
WERE THEY FOUND IN?
SHE DIDN'T SAY, OK?
LET'S TRY BE CALM UNTIL
WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE
KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
NO, WE DON'T.
THEY WERE OUT ALL NIGHT!
I'M GONNA MAKE SOME COFFEE.
LORELAI, I'VE WATCHED YOU DO A
LOT OF STUPID THINGS IN YOUR LIFE
AND I HAVE HELD MY TONGUE.
HUH, YOU'VE WHAT?
BUT I WILL NOT STAND BY AND LET
YOU ALLOW THAT GIRL TO RUIN HER LIFE.
MOM.
BACK OFF.
SHE SPENT THE NIGHT
OUT WITH THAT BOY,
THE ONE YOU LET HER RUN
OFF TO THAT DANCE WITH.
SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL
NOT GET INTO THIS WITH YOU.
SHE'S DOING THE SAME
THING YOU DID. NO, SHE'S NOT.
SHE'LL GET PREGNANT.
NO, SHE'S NOT.
SHE'S GONNA RUIN
EVERYTHING, JUST LIKE YOU DID.
NO, SHE'S NOT! NO,
SHE'S NOT! NO, SHE'S NOT!
RORY IS A GOOD KID,
MOM! SHE'S NOT ME!
WHAT KIND OF MOTHER
ARE YOU TO ALLOW THIS?
I DON'T KNOW, MOM.
WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WERE YOU?
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE
HER JUST LIKE I LOST YOU.
I AM NOT GONNA LOSE
HER. DO YOU HEAR ME?
EVEN IF I HADN'T GOTTEN
PREGNANT, YOU'D STILL HAVE LOST ME.
I HAD NOTHING IN THAT HOUSE.
I HAD NO LIFE, I HAD NO AIR.
YOU STRANGLED ME. I
DO NOT STRANGLE RORY.
OH, YOU'RE SO PERFECT,
AND I WAS SO HORRIBLE.
I PUT YOU IN GOOD SCHOOLS.
I GAVE YOU THE
BEST OF EVERYTHING.
I MADE SURE YOU HAD
THE FINEST OPPORTUNITIES.
AND I AM SO TIRED
OF HEARING ABOUT
HOW YOU WERE SUFFOCATED
AND I WAS SO CONTROLLING.
WELL, IF I WAS SO CONTROLLING
WHY COULDN'T I CONTROL
YOU GETTING PREGNANT
AND THROWING YOUR LIFE AWAY?
GET OUT. WHAT?
YOU WILL NOT COME INTO MY HOUSE
AND TELL ME I
THREW MY LIFE AWAY.
LOOK AROUND,
MOM. THIS IS A LIFE.
IT HAS A LITTLE COLOR IN IT, SO
IT MAY LOOK UNFAMILIAR TO YOU.
BUT IT'S A LIFE.
IF I HADN'T GOTTEN PREGNANT,
I WOULDN'T HAVE RORY.
YOU KNOW THAT'S
NOT WHAT I MEANT.
MAYBE I WAS SOME HORRIBLE,
UNCONTROLLABLE CHILD LIKE YOU SAY,
BUT RORY ISN'T.
SHE'S SMART AND CAREFUL,
AND I TRUST HER.
SHE'S GONNA BE FINE.
IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT
THAT OR BELIEVE IT,
THEN I DON'T WANT
YOU IN THIS HOUSE!
MOM, THANK YOU FOR
SAYING ALL THOSE...
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, STAYING
OUT ALL NIGHT? ARE YOU INSANE?
I'M SORRY. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU'RE TALKING TO THE QUEEN
OF STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT.
I INVENTED THE CONCEPT.
THIS IS NO ACCIDENT!
YOU CAN'T DO THIS. PERIOD!
NOTHING HAPPENED.
DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO WAKE UP WITH MY MOTHER HERE
AND FIND OUT THAT
YOU NEVER CAME HOME?
SO ALL THIS IS ABOUT
GRANDMA BEING HERE?
NO, IT'S ABOUT THE FEELING
OF COMPLETE TERROR
WHEN YOUR KID ISN'T IN
HER BED IN THE MORNING.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF
TERROR WHEN YOU FIND OUT
THAT SHE SPENT THE
NIGHT WITH SOME GUY!
I DIDN'T SPEND THE
NIGHT. WE FELL ASLEEP.
YOU ARE GOING ON THE PILL.
WHAT? YOU ARE NOT
GETTING PREGNANT!
I'M NOT SLEEPING
WITH DEAN! DAMN IT!
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT
STUFF YOU SAID TO GRANDMA?
WHAT HAPPENED TO TRUSTING ME?
WHERE DID ALL THAT GO?
I THINK IT'S BACK ON
PATTY'S YOGA MATS.
THIS IS CRAP!
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
YOU KNOW THIS WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU'RE JUST MAD
BECAUSE I SCREWED UP
AND I DID IT IN FRONT OF GRANDMA,
AND SHE NAILED YOU FOR IT.
WELL, I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY THAT I SCREWED UP, AND
I'M SORRY THAT YOU GOT YELLED AT
BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,
AND YOU KNOW IT!