Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 1, Episode 7 - Kiss and Tell - full transcript
Rory gets her first kiss from Dean. The whole town is buzzing about it, yet Rory has not told Lorelai.
ONE OF US HAS GOT TO
DO LAUNDRY TONIGHT.
WHY?
BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD ANY
CLEAN UNDERWEAR FOR 3 DAYS.
SO RIGHT NOW UNDER YOUR
SKIRT YOU'RE WEARING...
NOT UNDERWEAR. MOM!
IT'S KIND OF NICE
ACTUALLY. BREEZY.
MY ROLE MODEL,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
HOW COME YOU
HAVEN'T RUN OUT YET?
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I HAVE
MORE UNDERWEAR THAN YOU.
THAT'S NOT TRUE. YOU HAVE LESS.
HAVE YOU BEEN DOING
LAUNDRY WITHOUT ME? NO.
RORY? OK, ONE LOAD.
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK
IF I HAD STUFF TO THROW IN?
IT WAS A BIG LOAD.
THERE WASN'T ANY ROOM.
I'M CRUSHED AND BLEEDING.
GET ME A TOURNIQUET.
OH, NO. THEY'RE DIRTY 'CAUSE RORY
WON'T WASH THEM WITH HER STUFF.
I'M SORRY.
I'LL DO ANOTHER LOAD
TONIGHT, I PROMISE.
NEVER MIND. I'LL DO
MY OWN LAUNDRY.
FINE, EVEN BETTER.
I HATE DOING LAUNDRY.
MAYBE I'LL JUST BUY
NEW UNDERWEAR.
AND FLUTTER, FLUTTER,
FLUTTER, FLUTTER, FLUTTER.
AND LEAVES.
WHERE ARE MY LEAVES?
I GOT PUMPKINS, I GOT PILGRIMS.
I GOT NO LEAVES.
EVERY OTHER STORE IN
TOWN HAS FALL DECORATIONS.
WELL, HURRAH FOR
THE MOB MENTALITY.
WE'RE TALKING A FEW
STREAMERS AND A PAPER TURKEY.
HOW IS IT GONNA HURT
TO HAVE A PAPER TURKEY?
NO TURKEYS, NO
SQUASH, NO PUMPKINS.
NOTHING COLORED ORANGE.
OK. SO YOU DON'T LIKE ORANGE.
THAT'S FINE.
AUTUMN HAS MANY
VARIED HUES TO TOY WITH.
EXCUSE ME, COULD WE
GET SOME COFFEE, PLEASE?
AND A MUFFIN? WARMED?
THIS IS THE AUTUMN FESTIVAL.
YOUR SHOP IS RIGHT ACROSS THE
STREET FROM THE HORN OF PLENTY.
YOU'RE RIGHT SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE
OF EVERYTHING. YOU HAVE TO DECORATE.
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS SERVE FOOD.
AND COFFEE! AND MUFFINS.
TAYLOR, I'M TIRED OF HAVING THIS
CONVERSATION WITH YOU EVERY YEAR.
YOO-HOO!
YOU HAVE LIVED IN STARS HOLLOW
FOR A LONG TIME, YOUNG MAN.
IT'S TIME YOU BECAME ONE OF US.
WHOO!
SORRY, I GUESS MY
POD'S DEFECTIVE.
HEY, MY MOM'S NOT
WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR.
WELL, YOU AREN'T.
YOU'RE JUST BEING SELFISH, LUKE.
STILL THEY DON'T NOTICE.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE SPIRIT OF FALL.
WHAT KIND OF MUFFIN
DO YOU WANT? BLUEBERRY.
YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN
STICK THE SPIRIT OF FALL?
HERE, DON'T USE YOUR HANDS.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
TAKING ME SERIOUSLY.
WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA? NO TIP?
OH, YEAH, HERE'S A TIP:
SERVE YOUR CUSTOMERS.
DON'T SIT ON ANY COLD BENCHES.
TAYLOR, I SWEAR TO GOD,
IF YOU PULL THOSE PILGRIMS
OUT OF YOUR POCKET ONCE MORE...
I'M JUST DOING IT FOR YOU.
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
I DON'T KNOW.
IT DOESN'T REALLY LOOK
LIKE THE MAYFLOWER.
WE COULD PUT A SIGN
ON IT OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW.
SO, YOU WANT TO GO BACK
TO THE PLYMOUTH ROCK IDEA?
WE'LL JUST LIVE WITH
IT THAT WAY FOR A DAY.
OK, UH, SURE.
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GET 2 FOR $3.
OH, REALLY? EXCELLENT DEAL.
YOU JUST HAD A DESPERATE NEED
FOR SOME CORNSTARCH?
YES, I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT
THICKENING NEEDS, THANK YOU.
NICE APRON. NICE UNIFORM.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I SEWED THE
BUTTONS ON WITH SILVER THREAD,
SO THAT SETS ME
APART FROM THE CROWD.
I GUESS I SHOULD GET HOME.
WAIT A SEC. YOU WANT
A POP OR SOMETHING?
A POP?
GIVE ME A BREAK. IN
CHICAGO THEY CALL IT POP.
WELL, IN CONNECTICUT,
WE CALL IT FREE SODA.
AND, YES, THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, GUESS WHAT'S IN
EACH HAND, YOU GET THE SODA.
OK, THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF
A FREE SODA IS THAT IT'S FREE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.
SORRY, YOU GOTTA
SING FOR YOUR SUPPER.
OR YOUR SODA.
GUESS.
OK.
IN THIS HAND YOU HAVE...
THANK YOU.
LANE!
LANE!
WHAT'S WRONG?
I GOT KISSED.
AND I... AND I SHOPLIFTED.
ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHO KISSED YOU?
DEAN.
THE NEW KID? YES.
YOU GOT THE NEW KID? OH, MY GOD.
IT HAPPENED SO FAST. I
WAS JUST STANDING THERE.
WHERE? DOOSE'S MARKET.
HE KISSED YOU IN THE
MARKET? ON AISLE 3.
BY THE ANT SPRAY? YES.
OH, THAT'S A GOOD AISLE.
WHAT DEFINES A GOOD AISLE?
AN AISLE WHERE YOU
GET KISSED BY THE NEW KID
IS A GOOD AISLE.
OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BREATHE.
OK, SIT DOWN.
NO, I CAN'T SIT DOWN. I'M TOO...
OH, MY GOD, HE KISSED ME.
WHO KISSED YOU?
THE LORD, MAMA.
OH.
OK, THEN.
SO, TELL ME EVERYTHING.
SO, I GO INTO THE STORE,
AND HE OFFERS ME A SODA.
AND THEN HE PUTS
2 BEHIND HIS BACK
AND ASKS ME TO PICK ONE,
AND THEN HE KISSED ME.
I'M SO JEALOUS. THAT'S IT, I'VE GOT
TO GET SOME DUMB, UGLY FRIENDS.
I HAVE TO GO TELL MY MOM.
CALL ME LATER. OK.
WHAT'S WRONG? I CAN'T.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE?
IT'S SING-YOUR-FAVORITE-HYMN NIGHT
AT THE KIM HOUSE. MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
MY MOM DOESN'T KNOW
ABOUT DEAN. SO TELL HER.
THE LAST TIME THE SUBJECT OF
BOYS CAME UP, IT GOT VERY UGLY.
WELL, THAT WAS DIFFERENT. SHE THOUGHT
YOU WANTED TO QUIT SCHOOL OVER A GUY.
YES, OVER DEAN.
OK, FINE.
BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TO KNOW IT WAS HIM.
SHE'LL KNOW. HOW?
SHE'LL KNOW. SHE'S LORELAI.
SHE'LL KNOW. WHAT DO I DO?
WELL, MAYBE SHE'LL BE
MORE OPEN TO THE CONCEPT
NOW THAT YOU'RE IN SCHOOL AND
SO DOING WELL AND EVERYTHING.
MAYBE. TRY IT.
OK. I GOTTA GO.
HEY.
WAS IT GREAT?
IT WAS PERFECT.
WOW.
YEAH.
YEAH, CAN YOU HEAR THAT?
NO. NO, IT'S HIGHER.
IT'S LIKE A HIGH-PITCHED
KIND OF AN "EEEEEE" SOUND.
IT STARTED LAST WEEK.
BUT WAS LOWER AND IT ONLY
HAPPENED WHEN WE OPENED THE DOOR.
AND NOW IT'S HIGHER
AND IT'S ON ALL THE TIME.
SO I THINK IT'S REALLY, UH,
GROWING IN CONFIDENCE.
OK, LOOK, I'VE ALREADY
TOLD THIS TO 3 OTHER PEOPLE.
SO COULD YOU JUST PLEASE TELL ME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FRIDGE?
I DON'T... I'M NOT GONNA
MAKE THE NOISE AGAIN.
I'M NOT...
EEEEE.
LOOK, JERRY, I DON'T
HAVE A LOT OF PRIDE,
BUT I DO HAVE ENOUGH THAT I DO
NOT WANT TO MAKE THAT NOISE AGAIN.
SO COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FRIDGE
OR CONNECT ME WITH
SOMEONE WHO CAN?
THANK YOU.
HELLO, RUSTY? GREAT.
LISTEN, UM, MY FRIDGE IS
MAKING THIS WEIRD SOUND.
IT'S, UH, LIKE A HIGH-PITCHED...
YOU KNOW WHAT? ACTUALLY,
IS JERRY STILL THERE?
OK, H-HAVE HIM MAKE
THE SOUND. HE KNOWS IT.
I'LL WAIT.
I KNOW. IT DOES SOUND BAD.
OK, HERE IS THE DEAL.
YOU WILL SEND SOMEONE OUT HERE TOMORROW
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00 AND 9:00.
BECAUSE I WORK AND
I CAN'T WAIT 4 HOURS
FOR ONE OF YOU GUYS TO SHOW UP.
GREAT. GOODBYE.
SO, ARE THEY COMING TOMORROW?
NOPE. MONDAY,
BETWEEN 3:00 AND 8:00.
I'M COMPLETELY USELESS.
I'M SORRY.
OH, GOD, LOOK AT
THIS PLACE. IT'S A STY.
NOW I'M CRABBY. I'M
CRABBY AND USELESS.
STUPID FRIDGE!
STUPID FRIDGE GUYS.
I HATE MY LIFE.
HELLO.
HELLO!
YES?
OH, GOD. I DIDN'T... QUITE AN
ENTRANCE. JEEZ, MY HEART.
RORY'S NOT HERE.
NO, I KNOW. UM, I CAME
TO PICK UP THAT ROCKER
THAT I BOUGHT A
COUPLE WEEKS AGO.
6 WEEKS AGO. OH, OK.
WELL, THAT'S A COUPLE.
TIMES 3, THAT'S 6.
MATH HUMOR.
OH, IT'S NOT BIG WITH A LOT
OF PEOPLE. DON'T FEEL BAD.
THIS IS NOT A STORAGE FACILITY.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
THIS IS A FURNITURE STORE.
FURNITURE COMES IN,
PEOPLE BUY, THEN IT GOES OUT.
RIGHT. EXCEPT WHEN
LORELAI GILMORE BUYS.
THEN FURNITURE STAYS
HERE FOR 6 WEEKS.
HOW ABOUT I PAY YOU EXTRA?
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO PAY ME EXTRA.
I WANT YOU TO PICK UP THE THING
YOU PAID FOR IN THE
FIRST PLACE. HERE.
HUH. I REMEMBER IT SMALLER.
IT'S BEEN 6 WEEKS.
MAYBE IT GREW.
RIGHT. WELL, ONCE
AGAIN, I'M REALLY SORRY.
I'VE JUST BEEN VERY BUSY.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE LESS BUSY.
THEN YOU CAN REMEMBER
TO PICK UP CHAIRS.
RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY.
SMELL A ROSE, GOT IT.
AND THEN YOU COULD
KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER
FROM RUNNING
AROUND KISSING BOYS.
WHAT?
LANE IS A YOUNG,
IMPRESSIONABLE GIRL.
SHE DOESN'T NEED TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER'S KISSING.
ARE... ARE THE LIDS TIGHT
ON THE PAINT REMOVER,
BECAUSE YOU'RE SOUNDING
A LITTLE LOOPY TO ME.
LOOPY? WHAT'S LOOPY?
RORY'S NOT KISSING ANYBODY.
YES, SHE IS.
SHE CAME IN HERE AND TOLD LANE
SHE KISSED A BOY IN
THE GROCERY STORE.
THE GROCERY STORE,
WHERE WE BUY OUR FOOD.
THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY...
SHE KISSED THE BOY
IN THE GROCERY STORE?
YES, YES, YES.
THE BOY IN THE GROCERY
STORE. KISS, KISS, KISS.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW.
SHE DIDN'T TELL ME.
I... I HAVE TO GO.
YOU LEFT YOUR CHAIR!
OK, JUST ONE MORE TIME.
I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU
THIS STORY FOR AN HOUR.
IT DOESN'T GET DIRTY.
I CAN'T HELP IT. I'M OBSESSED.
I'M TOTALLY LIVING
VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOU.
WHY? YOU GOT
KISSED LAST WEEKEND.
REMEMBER? YOU TOLD ME.
THAT GUY YOUR
PARENTS SET YOU UP WITH.
THE ONE WITH THE
LINCOLN CONTINENTAL.
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
PATRICK CHO. OK.
LET'S DO A LITTLE COMPARE
AND CONTRAST HERE.
YOU GET KISSED ON THE MOUTH
BY A CUTE, COOL, SEXY
GUY YOU REALLY LIKE.
AND I GET KISSED ON THE
FOREHEAD BY A THEOLOGY MAJOR
IN A "MEMBERS ONLY"
JACKET WHO TRULY BELIEVES
THAT ROCK MUSIC
LEADS TO HARD DRUGS.
FAIR ENOUGH. YOU
CAN LIVE THROUGH ME.
BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT I
HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.
I'M WELL AWARE OF
THAT. THAT'S WHY
I'VE BEEN DILIGENTLY
GATHERING INFORMATION FOR US.
WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION?
WELL, LET'S SEE.
DEAN'S FROM CHICAGO,
WHICH YOU KNOW. I DO.
HE LIKES NICK DRAKE, AND LIZ
PHAIR, AND THE SUGARPLASTIC.
AND HE'S DEATHLY
ALLERGIC TO WALNUTS.
WALNUTS BAD, GOT IT.
NOW, HE HAD A
GIRLFRIEND IN CHICAGO.
A GIRLFRIEND?
HER NAME'S BETH. THEY
WENT OUT FOR A YEAR,
BUT THEY SPLIT
AMICABLY BEFORE HE LEFT.
NOW SHE'S DATING HIS COUSIN,
WHICH HE DOESN'T
FEEL TOO WEIRD ABOUT
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T THINK
THEY WERE REALLY IN LOVE.
BETH. I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
HOW'D YOU GET ALL
THIS INFORMATION?
THROUGH HIS BEST FRIEND,
WHO, BY THE WAY, IS REALLY COOL.
SO ONCE YOU GET
SETTLED WITH DEAN,
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
ASK HIM ABOUT TODD?
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
SO, BETH, HUH?
I HATE THE NAME
BETH. IT'S SO... BETH.
NOW, TODD ALSO SAID
THAT DEAN HASN'T BEEN ABLE
TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOU
FOR WEEKS.
OH, STOP IT. YOU'RE GIVING
ME PATRICK CHO FLASHBACKS.
OH, LUKE, THE FOOD
HERE IS LOVELY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
WOULD MAKE IT EVEN BETTER?
LET ME GUESS. SOME AUTUMN
FESTIVAL DECORATIONS?
WELL, FOOD WITHOUT AMBIENCE
ISN'T REALLY FOOD, IS IT?
MORE ICED TEA, PATTY?
OH, NO, THANK YOU.
IT'S MUCH TOO DEPRESSING
IN HERE FOR TEA.
YOU REALIZE TAYLOR'S
A HEAD CASE, RIGHT?
YES, BUT AT LEAST
HE'S A FESTIVE ONE.
JUST EAT.
COFFEE?
OH, COME ON, ARE
YOU MAD AT ME, TOO?
I MEAN, A MAN CAN'T CHOOSE
WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS A PICTURE
OF A FAT, STUPID BIRD ON HIS WALL?
MY GOD, THAT'S THE REASON THE DAMN
PILGRIMS CAME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I WASN'T SNUBBING
YOU. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.
NOW, I'M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.
SORRY, JUST, UH, FEELING A
LITTLE PERSECUTED LATELY.
COFFEE? PLEASE.
ARE YOU OK? YES, I'M FINE.
YOU DON'T LOOK
FINE. WELL, THANK YOU.
I JUST MEANT YOU LOOK
CONCERNED. I'M PREOCCUPIED.
YOU LOOK CONCERNED. I'M NOT.
FINE. YOU JUST LOOK IT.
HEY, YOU KNOW, SOME STREAMERS
WOULD LOOK GREAT IN HERE.
OK, I'M DONE.
THANK YOU.
SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.
OH, HEY, SAVE YOUR APOLOGIES
FOR THE INDIANS, MISSY.
PEOPLE ARE REALLY IN
A GIVING MOOD TODAY.
THE HORN OF PLENTY IS PACKED.
THAT'S GREAT. DO YOU
WANT SOME COFFEE?
UM, NO, I'LL JUST
HAVE A SIP OF YOURS.
I HAVE TO GET RIGHT BACK. OH.
REALLY? I THOUGHT WE
WERE HAVING LUNCH TODAY.
I CAN'T. WE'RE ONE
PILGRIM SHORT.
I ONLY HAVE A COUPLE MINUTES.
OH.
YOU'VE BEEN REALLY
BUSY LATELY. YEAH.
I GUESS IT'S THAT
END-OF-THE-YEAR RUSH.
I MEAN, WE HAVEN'T EVEN REALLY
TALKED IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
I DON'T KNOW. ANYTHING.
OK. DID YOU READ THAT
ARTICLE IN THE NEWSPAPER
ABOUT THE POLAR
ICE CAPS MELTING?
YEAH, YEAH. OH, BIG DEAL.
FINE, YOU PICK THE SUBJECT.
OH, OK, GREAT.
I WAS WATCHING GENERAL
HOSPITAL THE OTHER DAY
AND, YOU KNOW, THEY
HAVE A NEW LUCKY.
THE OLD LUCKY WENT
TO PLAY SOMETHING
WHERE HE COULD HAVE A REAL NAME.
SO, THE OLD LUCKY
HAD THIS GIRLFRIEND, LIZ,
WHO THOUGHT THAT
HE DIED IN A FIRE.
SO THEN THEY BRING
ON THIS NEW LUCKY
AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I KNOW
THAT'S NOT THE OLD LUCKY
BECAUSE THE NEW LUCKY HAS
WAY MORE HAIR-GEL ISSUES."
BUT STILL, LIZ WAS SO UPSET
ABOUT HIS SUPPOSED DEATH
THAT YOU COULD NOT
WAIT TO SEE THEM KISS,
YOU KNOW?
WHEN DO YOU HAVE TIME TO
WATCH GENERAL HOSPITAL?
OK, LET'S GET BACK TO THE POINT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THE WHOLE
LIZ-LUCKY KISSING THING?
I THINK THEY'RE ACTORS
BEING PAID TO PLAY A PART,
SO IT'S NICE THAT THEY'RE
LIVING UP TO THEIR OBLIGATIONS.
HMM.
RORY.
LOOK, CAN WE FINISH THIS VERY
MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION LATER?
I PROMISED LANE
I'D GET RIGHT BACK.
OK. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OK, BYE.
BYE.
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY
YOU LOOK CONCERNED.
NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT
HOW GOOD YOU'D LOOK
DRESSED LIKE A GUY
FROM THE CRUCIBLE.
FAIR ENOUGH.
HEY!
OH, GOD! OH, GOD! WHAT...
W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I ASKED YOU FIRST.
I RAN OUT OF CREAM.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?
NOTHING. DON'T LOOK. DON'T LOOK.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU
TODAY? RORY GOT KISSED.
WHAT?
RORY HAD HER FIRST
KISS. AND THAT GUY DID IT.
AH.
YEAH.
THE NEW KID. YEP.
OH, LOOK AT HIM.
LOOK HOW SMUG HE IS.
HE'S BAGGING GROCERIES.
IT'S HARD TO BE SMUG
BAGGING GROCERIES.
OH! LOOK HOW HE JUST
HANDLED THOSE LEMONS.
WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HE THREW THEM IN THE BAG.
NOT TOSSED THEM OR PLACED THEM,
BUT THREW THEM, LIKE
THEY MEANT NOTHING.
THEY'RE LEMONS.
THEY'RE SYMBOLIC.
OK. WE NEED TO GET
YOU OUT OF HERE.
NO. THAT LOTHARIO OVER
THERE HAS WORMED HIS WAY
INTO MY DAUGHTER'S HEART AND
MOUTH AND FOR THAT HE MUST DIE.
THAT'S IT. LET'S GO. NO.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
KILL THE BAG BOY.
WHY NOT?
'CAUSE IT'S DOUBLE-COUPON
DAY. YOU'LL BRING DOWN THE TOWN.
OK, OK, I'M OUT.
STOP PUSHING ME.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
SPYING LIKE THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I WANTED TO SEE HIM. I'VE SEEN
HIM ALREADY BUT BEFORE HE WAS...
RORY'S BOYFRIEND? SHUSH, YOU.
SHE'S GROWING UP. I KNOW.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU
CAN DO ABOUT THAT.
OK, MR. REALITY, BREAK
INTO SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE.
SORRY.
WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?
WHAT?
WHY DIDN'T RORY TELL
ME ABOUT THE KISS?
MAYBE SHE DIDN'T KNOW
YOU'D TAKE IT SO WELL.
YOU WANT TO HEAR
SOMETHING CRAZY?
'CAUSE ALL THE TALK UP UNTIL
NOW HAS BEEN SO NORMAL?
HE KIND OF LOOKS
LIKE CHRISTOPHER.
THE GROCERY KID?
YEAH. HE LOOKS LIKE CHRISTOPHER.
AND CHRISTOPHER IS RORY'S DAD?
THE HAIR, THE BUILD,
SOMETHING ABOUT THE EYES.
HE REMINDS ME OF CHRISTOPHER.
WELL, THAT'S NOT TOO SURPRISING.
YOU'RE GONNA QUOTE FREUD TO ME?
'CAUSE I'LL PUSH YOU IN
FRONT OF A MOVING CAR.
THIS TALK WAS GOING SO WELL.
YOU AND RORY ARE A LOT ALIKE.
IT'S NOT SURPRISING YOU WOULD
HAVE SIMILAR TASTES IN MEN.
I GUESS.
BUT WHY? WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?
WE TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING.
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
BUT WE TELL EACH
OTHER EVERYTHING ELSE.
BUT THIS SHE KEEPS A SECRET.
IT'S 'CAUSE IT'S A GUY THING.
PROBABLY. WELL, THAT'S NOT GOOD.
I HAVE TO MAKE HER UNDERSTAND
THAT I'M OK WITH THE GUY THING.
'CAUSE NOT TALKING ABOUT
GUYS AND OUR PERSONAL LIVES,
THAT'S ME AND MY MOM.
THAT IS NOT ME AND RORY.
ARE YOU OK WITH THE GUY THING?
YES.
REALLY?
OK-ISH.
THAT'S NOT OK.
WELL, THAT'S OK WITH AN "ISH."
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
SHE JUST... SHE THINKS
I'LL DISAPPROVE, RIGHT?
WELL, I WON'T.
I WILL SHOW HER THAT
I THINK THIS IS GREAT.
ONCE SHE SEES THAT
I THINK THIS IS GREAT,
EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO
NORMAL BETWEEN US, RIGHT?
RIGHT, OK, GOOD.
SO YOU PASSED THE NEED
FOR AN ACTUAL PERSON TO
TALK TO SEVERAL MINUTES AGO.
OH, YEAH, BEFORE
THE GELATO STAND.
YOU'RE AN AMAZING WOMAN.
THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.
HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.
OH, HEY, NO BIG DEAL.
UM, THERE'S CHINESE
IN THE FRIDGE.
OK.
SO, KISSED ANY GOOD BOYS LATELY?
WHO... MRS. KIM.
OF COURSE.
SO, HE'S CUTE.
YEAH, HE IS.
CAN HE SPELL?
HE CAN SPELL AND READ.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?
SINCE THIS MORNING.
YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GONNA
BE ABLE TO KEEP IT A SECRET, DID YOU?
YOU WERE MAKING
OUT IN THE MARKET.
WE WEREN'T MAKING
OUT. IT WAS JUST ONE KISS.
YEAH, WELL, BY THE TIME
THAT GETS TO MISS PATTY'S
IT'S A SCENE FROM 9 1/2 WEEKS.
YOU'VE KNOWN ALL THIS TIME?
AT LUKE'S? HERE?
YEAH.
YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING.
NOW, FUNNY. I WAS GOING TO
SAY THE SAME THING TO YOU.
SO...
SO...
WHAT NOW?
NOW? NOTHING.
NO? NO LECTURE
ABOUT KISSING A BOY?
NO. WHY, DID YOU DO IT WRONG?
NO.
I DON'T THINK.
I DIDN'T LOVE THE
WAY I FOUND OUT,
BUT YOU'RE GETTING OLDER.
THESE THINGS ARE BOUND
TO HAPPEN OCCASIONALLY.
ACTUALLY, I THINK IT'S GREAT.
NO, YOU DON'T.
YES, I DO. I'M THRILLED.
THRILLED? YEAH.
YOU'RE COMPLETELY WEIRDED
OUT BY THIS, AREN'T YOU?
NO, YOU'RE CRAZY. I'M
PERFECTLY FINE WITH IT.
YOU DON'T SEEM FINE. YOU SEEM
THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF FINE.
WELL, YOU'RE
PROJECTING THAT ON ME
BECAUSE YOU DON'T
WANT TO THINK THAT I'M FINE
WHEN I AM, AS I'VE SAID, FINE.
OK.
NEVER BEEN FINER.
GOT IT.
YOU WANT SOME?
NO, THANKS.
I'M FINE.
OK, WE HAVE TO BE REALLY QUICK
'CAUSE THE VIDEO
STORE'S GONNA CLOSE.
SO STICK TO OUR LIST. NO IMPULSE
BUYING LIKE TOOTHPASTE OR SOAP.
RORY?
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK WE HAVE ENOUGH
STUFF TO EAT AT HOME.
REALLY? WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
'CAUSE THE HOME I
LEFT HAD NOTHING.
WE'RE ORDERING
PIZZA. THAT'S ENOUGH.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
YOU CAN'T WATCH WILLY WONKA
WITHOUT MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF JUNK FOOD.
IT'S NOT RIGHT. I
WON'T ALLOW IT.
WE'RE GOING IN.
RORY, IT'S FINE.
IT'S TOO WEIRD.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO
MEET HIM EVENTUALLY.
OK, HOW ABOUT NEXT YEAR?
I'M GOING TO BE
SO COOL IN THERE,
YOU WILL MISTAKE ME FOR SHAFT.
THERE WILL BE NO INTERROGATION.
I SWEAR.
NO KISSING NOISES. NO
STORIES FROM MY CHILDHOOD.
NO REFERRING TO
CHICAGO AS "CHI-TOWN."
NO JAMES DEAN JOKES.
NO FATHER-WITH-A-SHOTGUN STARES.
NO NANCY WALKER IMPRESSIONS.
OH, COME ON.
PROMISE ME.
I REALLY AND TRULY PROMISE.
NOW CAN WE PLEASE
GO TO THE MARKET?
OK. THANK GOD.
LET'S GO.
I DON'T SEE HIM.
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
MAYBE HE'S ON A BREAK.
YEAH. YEAH, MAYBE
HE'S ON A BREAK.
YEAH.
OK, GOOD. SO WE CAN SHOP.
YEP.
DO WE WANT MARSHMALLOWS?
MMM.
AND JELLYBEANS. AND
CHOCOLATE KISSES.
COOKIE DOUGH WE HAVE
AT HOME, PEANUT BUTTER...
OOH! DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE THAT
THING THAT'S A SUGAR STICK ON ONE SIDE
BUT THEN YOU DIP IT IN THE SUGAR
ON THE OTHER SIDE AND EAT IT?
WE ARE GONNA BE SO SICK. IT'S
AMAZING THAT WE STILL FUNCTION.
THERE HE IS.
BOY, HE'S TALL.
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME
BACK-BENDER, THAT KISS.
MOM.
MAKE SURE YOU WARM UP NEXT TIME.
OK, WE ARE LEAVING NOW.
SORRY. DONE NOW.
HE'S GOT GREAT EYES. YOU GOT
TO LOVE A GUY WITH GREAT EYES.
YEAH.
AND A NICE SMILE. VERY NICE.
THINK WE CAN GET HIM TO
TURN AROUND? IT'S NICE, TOO.
REALLY? TRUST ME.
HEY.
OH, YOU GIRLS HAVING
ANOTHER MOVIE NIGHT?
YEAH. IT'S WILLY WONKA &
THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.
OH. THAT'S NICE. ISN'T THAT
THE ONE WITH GENE HACKMAN?
UH, GENE WILDER.
YOU'RE A WONKA FAN?
YEAH.
UM, DEAN, THIS IS
MY MOM, LORELAI.
AND, MOM, THIS IS DEAN.
NICE TO MEET YOU, DEAN.
YEAH, YOU, TOO.
NICE APRON.
UM, THANKS.
$41.83.
OH, WOW.
IT'S EXPENSIVE TO SLOWLY
ROT YOUR INSIDES, ISN'T IT?
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
SO, DEAN, NICE MEETING
YOU. HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YEAH.
DEAN.
SEE, THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I SAID NOTHING
EMBARRASSING, NOTHING STUPID.
I APPRECIATE THAT.
SO CHILL OUT, SUPERMARKET SLUT.
SEE, EVEN A LITTLE
INFORMATION IN YOUR HANDS
IS DANGEROUS.
I NEED COFFEE.
MOM, THE VIDEO STORE
CLOSES IN 10 MINUTES.
WELL, YOU RUN TO THE VIDEO
STORE, AND I'LL GO GET COFFEE.
GO, GO, GO.
I'LL MEET YOU AT LUKE'S.
HEY, UM, YOU FORGOT
YOUR RED VINES.
OH, WOW! YOU TOTALLY
SAVED THE NIGHT!
THANKS. SURE.
HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
ME?
UH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER?
WE'RE ORDERING
PIZZA, WE GOT A MOVIE.
THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S
GOT A POOL GOING
TO SEE WHO FALLS INTO
A SUGAR COMA FIRST.
I'M THE FAVORITE.
IT MIGHT BE FUN.
UH, WELL, UM, UH...
OH, IT'S TOTALLY CASUAL.
I'M SURE RORY WOULD LOVE IT.
OK, SURE.
YEAH? YEAH. WHAT TIME?
7:00 SOUND GOOD? SOUNDS FINE.
LET ME GIVE YOU OUR ADDRESS.
THAT'S OK. I... I KNOW
WHERE YOU LIVE.
RIGHT. OF COURSE YOU DO.
UM, SO SEE YOU TONIGHT.
BYE. BYE.
SO? GOT IT.
SCORE! YOU KNOW, ON THE
ONE HAND I'M GLAD IT WAS IN,
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, WHAT
KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN
WHERE NO ONE HAS RENTED WILLY
WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY?
WELL, WE RENTED
IT. THANK GOD FOR US.
OH, HEY, I INVITED YOUR FRIEND
OVER TO WATCH IT WITH US.
WHAT FRIEND? DEAN.
WHAT?
YEAH. I TOLD HIM WHAT WE WERE DOING
TONIGHT, AND HE WAS TOTALLY INTO IT.
SO... WHY ARE YOU
LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?
YOU INVITED DEAN TO OUR HOUSE?
YES.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
WHY ARE YOU MAD?
BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN
OUT ON A DATE BY OURSELVES YET.
MY FIRST DATE WITH DEAN IS
GONNA BE WITH MY MOTHER?
ARE... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I... I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU
WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS.
IN WHAT UNIVERSE
WOULD I BE HAPPY?
THIS ISN'T AMISH COUNTRY. GIRLS
AND BOYS USUALLY DATE ALONE.
I DON'T THINK OF IT AS A DATE.
I THOUGHT OF IT MORE AS A
HANGING OUT KIND OF SESSION.
WELL, I DON'T WANT OUR FIRST HANGING
OUT SESSION TO BE WITH MY MOTHER EITHER.
STOP SAYING MOTHER
LIKE THAT. LIKE WHAT?
LIKE THERE'S SUPPOSED TO
BE ANOTHER WORD AFTER IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS.
I'M SO HUMILIATED.
WHAT... YOU'RE
TOTALLY OVERREACTING.
I INVITED HIM TO A MOVIE AND
PIZZA, NOT TO NIAGARA FALLS.
HE'S THE BOY THAT I LIKE.
I KNOW. I LOOKED FOR
ONE THAT YOU HATED.
BUT IT WAS REALLY SHORT NOTICE.
AND NOW HE'S FORCED TO COME
OVER AND SIT WITH ME AND MY MOTHER
AND EAT CRAP AND WATCH A MOVIE?
WELL,
I JUST INVITED A FRIEND
OF YOURS TO HANG OUT.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I MEAN,
WHAT IF LANE HAD DONE IT?
YOU'RE NOT LANE.
YOU'RE MY MOTHER.
YOU INVITING HIM OVER IS LIKE
GRANDMA INVITING A GUY YOU LIKED OVER.
YOU'RE COMPARING
ME TO MY MOTHER?
NO. I JUST...
I'M EMILY GILMORE NOW? MY,
HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN.
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
I WASN'T TRYING TO
HUMILIATE YOU. I KNOW.
IF I WAS EMILY GILMORE, I'D
BE TRYING TO HUMILIATE YOU.
I JUST...
LOOK, I'M SORRY,
OK? I SCREWED UP.
I, UH, I WAS TRYING TO...
LOOK, I'LL GO.
I'LL UNINVITE HIM.
I'LL TELL HIM THAT IT'S CANCELED
ON ACCOUNT OF I JUST
FOUND OUT THAT I'M MY MOTHER
AND I HAVE TO GO INTO
INTENSIVE THERAPY RIGHT NOW.
NO, YOU CAN'T UNINVITE HIM.
HE'LL THINK I WIGGED
OUT OR SOMETHING.
WELL, THEN I'LL JUST DISAPPEAR,
AND YOU GUYS CAN BE ALONE.
OH, AND HAVE IT LOOK LIKE MY
MOM ARRANGED A DATE FOR ME?
NO!
WHAT DO WE DO?
HE HAS TO COME.
IT WON'T BE SO BAD, OK?
JUST PIZZA, AND A
MOVIE, AND HANGING OUT.
I PROMISE YOU WON'T FEEL
LIKE YOUR MOTHER IS THERE.
OK.
OK.
YOU MIGHT, HOWEVER, FEEL
LIKE MY MOTHER IS THERE.
OH, BOY.
WELL...
HEY.
THIS IS GOOD. ADD SOME COLD
CREAM, AND SOME CURLERS,
AND LET HIM KNOW WHAT HE'LL
BE COMING HOME TO EVERY NIGHT.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A SIMPLE NIGHT.
WATCH MOVIE, EAT JUNK,
GO TO BED FEELING SICK.
END OF STORY.
NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO
LOOK PRETTY AND GIRLY,
WHICH IS COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE
BECAUSE I'M GROSS, AND
I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR.
DO YOU WANT SOME HELP? NO.
YES. OK.
UH...
LET'S SEE. THIS AND...
ALL RIGHT, WELL...
THIS SAYS, "HELLO, I'M HIP
AND CUTE, BUT ALSO RELAXED.
"SINCE THIS IS SOMETHING
I JUST THREW ON,
EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS
FANTASTIC ON ME."
HOW DID YOU DO THAT? WHAT?
I'VE BEEN STARING AT
THAT TOP FOR 20 MINUTES.
IT WAS JUST A TOP.
YOU WALK IN, AND IN 3
SECONDS IT'S AN OUTFIT.
IT COMES FROM YEARS
OF EXPERIENCING
FASHION BRAIN FREEZE
JUST LIKE THE ONE YOU HAD.
HOW DO YOU DO IT? WHAT?
THIS WHOLE GUY THING?
I MEAN, I'VE WATCHED YOU
WHEN YOU TALK TO A MAN.
YOU HAVE A COMEBACK FOR
EVERYTHING. YOU MAKE HIM LAUGH.
YOU SMILE RIGHT.
I SMILE RIGHT?
AND THEN YOU DO
THE LITTLE HAIR FLIP.
OH, TWIRL. IT'S A HAIR TWIRL.
AND THEN YOU WALK AWAY. AND
HE JUST STANDS THERE, AMAZED,
LIKE HE CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
THAT'S BECAUSE I
JUST STOLE HIS WALLET.
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
TRIG, I CAN DO.
BUT BOYS AND DATING, FORGET IT.
I'M A TOTAL SPAZ.
LISTEN.
THE TALKING PART,
YOU JUST GET USED TO.
THE HAIR TWIRL, I CAN TEACH YOU.
AND THE LEAVING-HIM-AMAZED PART,
WITH YOUR BRAIN AND KILLER
BLUE EYES, I'M NOT WORRIED.
YOU'LL DO FINE. JUST GIVE
YOURSELF A LITTLE TIME TO GET THERE.
IS HALF AN HOUR ENOUGH?
PLENTY. COME ON.
DAB ON SOME LIP
GLOSS, CLEAR BUT FRUITY.
MAYBE A LITTLE MASCARA.
WEAR YOUR HAIR DOWN,
AND YOUR ATTITUDE HIGH.
YOU'RE LIKE A
CRAZY ELSA KLENSCH.
OH, THANK YOU. COME
ON, NOW, HUSTLE.
WE GOT A MAN COMING OVER.
WHAT TIME DID YOU
TELL HIM TO GET HERE?
7:00.
MAYBE SOMETHING HAPPENED.
MAYBE HE'S NOT COMING.
MAYBE HE'S JUST LATE,
MISS GERMAN TRAIN.
OOPS!
WHAT?
CHICAGO IS ONE OF
MY FAVORITE TOWNS.
THERE USED TO BE A
GREAT CLUB THERE CALLED...
WHAT WAS IT CALLED, BABY?
UH, MISTER KELLY'S.
OH, YEAH, MISTER KELLY'S.
YOU EVER GO THERE?
THEY'VE GOT DEAN.
WAIT HERE.
SO, DEAN, YOU LIKE JAZZ?
OH, HE SURE DOES.
IT'S ALL WE EVER
HEAR ABOUT, RIGHT?
JAZZ. JAZZ. JAZZ.
JAZZ. JAZZ. HEY.
HEY, SUGAR. WE WERE JUST GETTING
TO KNOW YOUR YOUNG MAN HERE.
YEAH, I... I SEE THAT.
SO, DEAN, UM, WOULD YOU MIND
GOING INSIDE AND HELPING RORY OUT?
THERE'S A STRUGGLE
WITH A PICKLE JAR LID
THAT I THINK SHE'S
ABOUT TO LOSE.
OH, SURE, YEAH.
OH, IT WAS NICE
TALKING TO YOU, DEAN.
YEAH, YOU, TOO.
STAY COOL, KID.
I WILL.
OH, IS HE CUTE! YEAH.
AND THAT CHUCK
HESTON CHIN OF HIS!
IS HE RORY'S BOYFRIEND?
NO, THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS.
WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT I HEARD.
KISSIN' AT THE MARKET. GIVES A
WHOLE NEW MEANING TO TASTIN' DAY.
OK. I GOT TO GET BACK
INSIDE AND SHOWER.
SO I'LL TALK TO YOU GUYS LATER.
YEAH. HAVE A GOOD EVENING.
OH! AND DON'T FORGET TO
INVITE US TO THE WEDDING.
OH, WON'T THEIR
KIDS BE GORGEOUS!
OH, GOD, I HOPE NOT.
UH, I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
I... I GOT HERE, LIKE,
A HALF HOUR AGO.
WE BELIEVE YOU.
WE'D BELIEVE YOU IF YOU SAID
YOU GOT HERE 3 HOURS AGO.
SO, DEAN, HOW DO YOU LIKE
IT HERE IN STARS HOLLOW?
I LIKE IT. UH,
IT'S... IT'S QUIET,
BUT... BUT NICE.
I LIKE ALL THE TREES EVERYWHERE.
YEAH, THE TREES
HERE ARE SOMETHING.
UM, WHEN RORY WAS
LITTLE, SHE FOUND OUT
THAT ONE WAS CALLED
A WEEPING WILLOW.
AND SO SHE SPENT HOURS
TRYING TO CHEER IT UP.
YOU KNOW, LIKE TELLING
IT JOKES AND MAKE...
NO, I'M SORRY. THAT WAS ME.
WOULD YOU LIKE A
TOUR OF THE HOUSE?
OK. OK.
SO, THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM,
WHERE WE DO OUR LIVING.
AND UM...
UPSTAIRS IS MY ROOM
AND THE GOOD BATHROOM.
AND UH,
THE KITCHEN IS
RIGHT THROUGH HERE.
YOU EVER HEARD A
FRIDGE YODEL BEFORE?
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
WELL, YOU HAVE YOUR BASICS.
MICROWAVE FOR POPCORN,
STOVE FOR STORING SHOES,
REFRIGERATOR, WHICH IS
COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.
INTERESTING.
OH. UM, I'LL GET THAT. RORY,
YOU TAKE OVER AS TOUR GUIDE.
MAKE SURE AND SHOW
HIM THE EMERGENCY EXITS.
THAT'S MY MOM.
SHE'S GOT ENERGY.
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S 90 PERCENT
WATER, 10 PERCENT CAFFEINE.
SO, WHAT'S IN THERE?
UM, THAT'S MY ROOM.
REALLY? CAN I SEE IT?
WOW! VERY CLEAN.
HOW MUCH DOES IT SUCK THAT THEY USE
PINK MOON IN A VOLKSWAGEN COMMERCIAL.
OH, I KNOW.
SO, ARE YOU GONNA COME IN?
OH, NO, I'VE SEEN IT.
I MEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE
GLUED TO THE DOOR THERE.
NO, I'M JUST, UH, OBSERVING MY
ROOM FROM A NEW PERSPECTIVE.
YOU KNOW, I HARDLY
EVER STAND HERE.
IT'S REALLY MAKING ME
RE-THINK MY THROW PILLOWS.
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO GET OUT OF HERE?
NO, I'M FINE WITH
YOU LOOKING AROUND.
NICE CHICKEN.
OR, YOU KNOW, AT LEAST I WAS.
WE DO NOT NEED DESSERT, SOOKIE.
OH, EVERYBODY NEEDS DESSERT.
SO, WHERE IS RORY? WITH DEAN.
DEAN? OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
YEAH, DEAN IS HERE.
YEAH, RIGHT. OK.
YOU NEED TO GO NOW.
PLEASE. I JUST WANT
ONE LITTLE PEEK. NO.
OK, FINE.
SO, UH, HOW ARE YOU?
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
SOOKIE.
I'M CONCERNED.
YOU'RE STALLING. AM I?
SOOKIE.
HEY, LORELAI.
HEY, JOE. WHAT DO I OWE YOU?
$15 EVEN. OK.
HOW YOU DOING? AWESOME.
WHAT DID YOU GET ON YOUR PIZZA?
DID YOU ASK FOR EXTRA SAUCE?
BECAUSE I ALWAYS
ASK FOR EXTRA SAUCE...
SOOKIE, SHE'S ALREADY FREAKED
OUT THAT I INVITED HIM HERE.
IF SHE THINKS I'M
PARADING HIM AROUND
IN FRONT OF MY
FRIENDS, SHE'LL KILL ME.
BUT I JUST WANT...
DEATH, BLOODY AND SLOW, OK?
MOM, IS THAT THE PIZZA?
UH, YEAH.
OK, BYE. NOW GO.
BUT I JUST WANTED...
NO. BYE. BYE-BYE.
BYE. BYE.
SO, ARE YOU HUNGRY?
UH, STARVING.
WHERE'S THE PIZZA?
UH, THE PIZZA'S...
PIZZA!
JUST BRINGING IN THE PIZZA.
HI, I'M SOOKIE. I'M A
FRIEND OF LORELAI'S.
HI. HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU, DEAN.
I MEAN, NOT THAT I
KNEW YOU WERE DEAN.
BUT YOU DO LOOK LIKE A DEAN.
DOESN'T HE LOOK LIKE A DEAN?
YEAH, OF ALL THE PEOPLE
STANDING IN THIS ROOM,
HE LOOKS MOST LIKE A DEAN.
BYE, SOOKIE.
HAVE FUN. OK.
HERE, UM, I'LL TAKE THAT.
OH, THANKS. GREAT.
THE COFFEE TABLE'S FINE.
OK.
I DID NOT INVITE HER HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
SET UP A CAMERA
AND BROADCAST IT ALL
OVER THE INTERNET?
BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT BIG.
THANK GOD THERE'S
GOOD PIZZA HERE.
OH, YEAH. NOW WE DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT KIND YOU LIKED,
SO WE JUST GOT EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
GOOD. WELL, WHILE IT'S HOT.
NOW, REMEMBER, NO MESSING ABOUT.
NO TOUCHING, NO TASTING...
WHO NEEDS MORE?
I DO.
WOW, YOU CAN EAT.
YES, I CAN.
OH, THAT'S BAD, ISN'T IT?
NO. UH, MOST GIRLS DON'T EAT.
IT'S... IT'S GOOD YOU EAT.
I'M ALL FOR IT.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
BESIDES MY EATING HABITS, SHALL WE?
OH... OH, OH... OH,
OOMPA LOOMPAS!
MY MOM HAS A THING
FOR THE OOMPA LOOMPAS.
I DON'T THINK FINDING THEM
AMUSING CONSTITUTES A THING.
NO, BUT HAVING A RECURRING
DREAM ABOUT MARRYING ONE DOES.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED
ON YOUR PRINCE
CHARMING CRUSH, OK?
AT LEAST MY OBSESSIONS ARE LIVE.
YOU HAVE A THING FOR A CARTOON.
OOH, PRINCE CHARMING, HUH?
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
AND NOT THE CINDERELLA
ONE, THE SLEEPING BEAUTY ONE.
'CAUSE HE COULD DANCE.
YEAH.
I'VE GOT SISTERS.
SO, COME ON, DEAN, TELL US SOME
OF YOUR EMBARRASSING SECRETS.
WELL, I... I HAVE NO
EMBARRASSING SECRETS.
OH, PLEASE.
I BET I KNOW ONE.
WHAT?
THE THEME FROM ICE
CASTLES MAKES YOU CRY.
OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
OH, I'VE GOT ONE.
UM, AT THE END OF THE WAY WE
WERE, YOU WANTED ROBERT REDFORD
TO DUMP HIS WIFE AND
KID FOR BARBRA STREISAND.
I'VE NEVER SEEN THE WAY WE WERE.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR? HEARTACHE, LAUGHTER...
COMMUNISM.
ALL IN ONE NEAT PACKAGE.
I'LL HAVE TO EXPERIENCE
THAT SOMETIME.
NEXT MOVIE NIGHT. IT'S A PLAN.
OH, I'M GONNA GET THE POPCORN.
BRING THE SPRAY CHEESE.
SO, UH,
AT WHAT POINT DOES THE OUTSIDER GET
TO SUGGEST A MOVIE FOR MOVIE NIGHT?
IT DEPENDS.
WHAT MOVIE ARE YOU THINKING OF?
I DON'T KNOW, UH,
BOOGIE NIGHTS, MAYBE.
YOU'LL NEVER GET
IT PAST LORELAI.
NOT A MARKY MARK FAN?
SHE HAD A BAD
REACTION TO MAGNOLIA.
SHE SAT THERE SCREAMING FOR
3 HOURS, "I WANT MY LIFE BACK!"
AND THEN WE GOT KICKED
OUT OF THE THEATER.
IT WAS ACTUALLY A
PRETTY ENTERTAINING DAY.
YEAH? YEAH.
I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO COME UP
WITH A DIFFERENT MOVIE THEN.
I GUESS YOU WILL.
ARE THEY CHOCOLATE EGGS?
THAT OOMPA LOOMPA RIGHT THERE.
YOU KNOW WHEN HE'S DANCING...
THESE ARE THE GEESE
THAT LAY THE GOLDEN EGGS.
AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY'RE
LARGER THAN ORDINARY GEESE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THEY'RE
QUADRUPLE-SIZED GEESE
WHICH PRODUCE
OCTUPLE-SIZED EGGS...
THANK YOU.
BUT EASTER'S OVER!
THEY DON'T KNOW THAT.
HEY, DADDY, I WANT
A GOLDEN GOOSE.
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT,
SWEETHEART, ALL RIGHT.
DADDY'LL GET YOU A GOLDEN GOOSE
AS SOON AS WE GET HOME.
NO, I WANT ONE OF THOSE!
WONKA, HOW MUCH DO YOU
WANT FOR THE GOLDEN GOOSE?
THEY'RE NOT FOR SALE...
HEY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I WANT ONE...
MOM. WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
TRYING TO FIND THE BEST
BATHING SUIT FOR MY BUST SIZE.
WELL, GET BACK IN THERE.
WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?
DID THE BAG BOY TRY SOMETHING?
HE'S SITTING THERE AND HE'S
WATCHING THE MOVIE, AND HE'S PERFECT,
AND HE SMELLS REALLY GOOD.
WHAT?
HE SMELLS REALLY GOOD,
AND HE LOOKS AMAZING,
AND I AM STUPID! I
SAID, "THANK YOU."
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, YOU...
YOU SAID "THANK YOU"?
WHEN HE KISSED ME.
HE KISSED YOU AGAIN?
WHAT, IS HE JUST OUT
OF PRISON OR SOMETHING?
NO, NOT NOW.
YESTERDAY, AT THE STORE.
OH, ALL RIGHT. STRIKE
THE PRISON COMMENT.
SO, WAIT, HE KISSED YOU
AND YOU SAID "THANK YOU"?
YES.
WELL, THAT WAS VERY POLITE.
NO, IT WAS STUPID. AND I DON'T
KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
YOU'RE SITTING IN THE KITCHEN.
WHAT KIND OF CHAPERONE ARE YOU?
ME? I'M NOT TRYING TO BE A
CHAPERON. I'M A GIRLFRIEND.
WELL, SWITCH GEARS 'CAUSE
I'M FREAKING OUT HERE!
YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU?
YEAH.
WELL, OK, THEN. JUST CALM DOWN.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO
DO OR SAY ANYTHING ELSE
THAT'S GONNA BE
REMOTELY MORONIC.
I'M AFRAID ONCE YOUR HEART IS
INVOLVED IT ALL COMES OUT IN MORON.
JUST PLEASE COME BACK IN.
OK. LET'S GO, THEN.
WAIT. WE CAN'T GO BACK
IN TOGETHER, THOUGH.
BECAUSE THAT WOULD
BE TOO OBVIOUS.
RIGHT. OK, UH, I'LL GO IN FIRST,
AND YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM.
OK, GOOD.
TELL HIM I HAD TO WASH MY FACE.
YES. 'CAUSE OF ALL
THE SUGAR YOU ATE.
YES, GOOD, VERY GOOD.
OK.
NOW HOLD ON TIGHT...
HI. I'M BACK.
RORY WENT TO, UH, WASH HER FACE.
OH, OK.
SWIFTER THAN EAGLES,
STRONGER THAN LIONS...
HEY, GRANDPA, WHAT WAS
THAT WE JUST WENT THROUGH?
DEAN.
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
HOW TO SAY THIS, BUT, UM,
THIS IS A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF
HOUSEHOLD YOU WALKED INTO TONIGHT.
YEAH, I KNOW.
SEE, RORY IS MY DAUGHTER.
AH, HERE COMES THE TALK.
HOW ABOUT I TALK, YOU LISTEN?
RORY IS A SMART KID. SHE'S
NEVER BEEN MUCH FOR GUYS.
SO THE FACT THAT SHE
LIKES YOU MEANS A LOT.
I DON'T BELIEVE SHE'D WASTE
HER TIME WITH SOME LOSER.
BUT YOU'RE WATCHING ME.
SWEETHEART, THE WHOLE
TOWN IS WATCHING YOU.
THAT GIRL IN THERE IS
BELOVED AROUND HERE.
YOU HURT HER, THERE'S
NOT A SAFE PLACE
WITHIN 100 MILES
FOR YOU TO HIDE.
THIS IS A VERY SMALL,
WEIRD PLACE YOU MOVED TO.
I'VE NOTICED.
SO, JUST KNOW ALL
EYES ARE ON YOU.
ANYTHING ELSE?
SHE'S NOT GOING ON
YOUR MOTORCYCLE.
I DON'T HAVE A MOTORCYCLE.
SHE'S NOT GOING ON
YOUR MOTORCYCLE.
FINE. SHE WON'T GO
ON MY MOTORCYCLE.
CURFEW WILL BE ENFORCED. YOU WILL
NOT DETRACT FROM HER SCHOOLWORK.
AND YOU'RE GONNA START
HANDLING THOSE LEMONS BETTER.
WHAT? DON'T INTERRUPT
ME WHEN I'M SPEAKING.
I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO
CHANGE, ALTER, TWEAK,
OR ADD TO THIS LIST OF
RULES AT ANY GIVEN TIME
WITHOUT ANY WRITTEN
NOTICE. AM I CLEAR?
YOU'RE CLEAR.
GOOD.
MY TURN TO SPEAK?
FINE. GO AHEAD.
YOU CAN LAY ON ALL
THE RULES YOU WANT.
AND YOU CAN HAVE THE
WHOLE TOWN SPY ON ME,
AND... AND STARE AT ME, AND
CHASE ME THROUGH THE STREETS.
OH, I LIKE THE "CHASE YOU
THROUGH THE STREETS" IDEA.
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
WELL, IT'S GONNA BE A
SHORT CHASE THEN, ISN'T IT?
I NEED YOU NOT TO HATE ME.
IF YOU HATE ME, THEN I DON'T
HAVE A SHOT IN HELL WITH RORY.
RORY HAS HER OWN MIND.
YEAH, BUT YOU'RE
HER BEST FRIEND.
AND WHAT YOU THINK MEANS
EVERYTHING TO HER, AND YOU KNOW THAT.
I WANT TO LIKE YOU,
'CAUSE RORY LIKES YOU.
BUT YOU DON'T.
I WANT TO.
AND I USUALLY GET WHAT I WANT.
FAIR ENOUGH.
SHE'S TAKING A LONG
TIME ON HER FACE.
YEAH, WELL, RORY
IS A PERFECTIONIST.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN, MR. WONKA.
TELL YOUR MOM
THANKS FOR INVITING ME.
I'M SORRY IF THIS
WAS TOTALLY WEIRD.
I MEAN, WITH MY MOM
INVITING YOU OVER...
HEY, NO, UH, IT
WAS GOOD, REALLY.
REALLY?
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
SO, THAT WENT WELL.
YEAH, NOT BAD.
DID I HUMILIATE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM
WHEN I WENT TO THE BATHROOM?
THAT YOU'RE PRETTY.
LIAR. YEAH, WELL...
I'M GONNA GO TO BED. OK.
MOM, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
NOTHING.
YES, THERE IS. COME ON. TELL ME.
NOTHING.
I JUST... I REALLY WANTED YOU
TO TELL ME ABOUT THAT KISS.
I'M SO SORRY. I REALLY
WANTED TO, I SWEAR.
I JUST GOT SCARED AND...
I KNOW. I'M NOT MAD.
I JUST WANTED TO HEAR
ABOUT IT. THAT'S ALL.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S OK. I'M FINE.
IT'S ONE TOO MANY
CARAMELLO BARS. I'M SORRY.
YOU HAVE SCHOOL, I HAVE WORK.
SO TIME FOR BED.
OK. GOOD NIGHT.
OK. GOOD NIGHT, HON.
MOM? MMM.
I KNOW THIS IS LAME AND
TOTALLY AFTER THE FACT, BUT...
START AT THE BEGINNING.
AND YOU LEAVE
ANYTHING OUT, YOU DIE.
WHERE WERE YOU?
OK. I WAS IN THE AISLE
WHERE THE ANT SPRAY IS.
THAT'S A GOOD AISLE.
I KNOW, THAT'S
WHAT LANE SAID, TOO.
BUT, ANYWAY, SO HE WAS
WORKING, AND I GO INTO THE STORE,
AND I JUST KIND OF WALKED AROUND
PRETENDING TO SHOP
FOR FOOD OR WHATEVER...
DO LAUNDRY TONIGHT.
WHY?
BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD ANY
CLEAN UNDERWEAR FOR 3 DAYS.
SO RIGHT NOW UNDER YOUR
SKIRT YOU'RE WEARING...
NOT UNDERWEAR. MOM!
IT'S KIND OF NICE
ACTUALLY. BREEZY.
MY ROLE MODEL,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
HOW COME YOU
HAVEN'T RUN OUT YET?
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I HAVE
MORE UNDERWEAR THAN YOU.
THAT'S NOT TRUE. YOU HAVE LESS.
HAVE YOU BEEN DOING
LAUNDRY WITHOUT ME? NO.
RORY? OK, ONE LOAD.
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK
IF I HAD STUFF TO THROW IN?
IT WAS A BIG LOAD.
THERE WASN'T ANY ROOM.
I'M CRUSHED AND BLEEDING.
GET ME A TOURNIQUET.
OH, NO. THEY'RE DIRTY 'CAUSE RORY
WON'T WASH THEM WITH HER STUFF.
I'M SORRY.
I'LL DO ANOTHER LOAD
TONIGHT, I PROMISE.
NEVER MIND. I'LL DO
MY OWN LAUNDRY.
FINE, EVEN BETTER.
I HATE DOING LAUNDRY.
MAYBE I'LL JUST BUY
NEW UNDERWEAR.
AND FLUTTER, FLUTTER,
FLUTTER, FLUTTER, FLUTTER.
AND LEAVES.
WHERE ARE MY LEAVES?
I GOT PUMPKINS, I GOT PILGRIMS.
I GOT NO LEAVES.
EVERY OTHER STORE IN
TOWN HAS FALL DECORATIONS.
WELL, HURRAH FOR
THE MOB MENTALITY.
WE'RE TALKING A FEW
STREAMERS AND A PAPER TURKEY.
HOW IS IT GONNA HURT
TO HAVE A PAPER TURKEY?
NO TURKEYS, NO
SQUASH, NO PUMPKINS.
NOTHING COLORED ORANGE.
OK. SO YOU DON'T LIKE ORANGE.
THAT'S FINE.
AUTUMN HAS MANY
VARIED HUES TO TOY WITH.
EXCUSE ME, COULD WE
GET SOME COFFEE, PLEASE?
AND A MUFFIN? WARMED?
THIS IS THE AUTUMN FESTIVAL.
YOUR SHOP IS RIGHT ACROSS THE
STREET FROM THE HORN OF PLENTY.
YOU'RE RIGHT SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE
OF EVERYTHING. YOU HAVE TO DECORATE.
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS SERVE FOOD.
AND COFFEE! AND MUFFINS.
TAYLOR, I'M TIRED OF HAVING THIS
CONVERSATION WITH YOU EVERY YEAR.
YOO-HOO!
YOU HAVE LIVED IN STARS HOLLOW
FOR A LONG TIME, YOUNG MAN.
IT'S TIME YOU BECAME ONE OF US.
WHOO!
SORRY, I GUESS MY
POD'S DEFECTIVE.
HEY, MY MOM'S NOT
WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR.
WELL, YOU AREN'T.
YOU'RE JUST BEING SELFISH, LUKE.
STILL THEY DON'T NOTICE.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE SPIRIT OF FALL.
WHAT KIND OF MUFFIN
DO YOU WANT? BLUEBERRY.
YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN
STICK THE SPIRIT OF FALL?
HERE, DON'T USE YOUR HANDS.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
TAKING ME SERIOUSLY.
WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA? NO TIP?
OH, YEAH, HERE'S A TIP:
SERVE YOUR CUSTOMERS.
DON'T SIT ON ANY COLD BENCHES.
TAYLOR, I SWEAR TO GOD,
IF YOU PULL THOSE PILGRIMS
OUT OF YOUR POCKET ONCE MORE...
I'M JUST DOING IT FOR YOU.
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
I DON'T KNOW.
IT DOESN'T REALLY LOOK
LIKE THE MAYFLOWER.
WE COULD PUT A SIGN
ON IT OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW.
SO, YOU WANT TO GO BACK
TO THE PLYMOUTH ROCK IDEA?
WE'LL JUST LIVE WITH
IT THAT WAY FOR A DAY.
OK, UH, SURE.
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GET 2 FOR $3.
OH, REALLY? EXCELLENT DEAL.
YOU JUST HAD A DESPERATE NEED
FOR SOME CORNSTARCH?
YES, I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT
THICKENING NEEDS, THANK YOU.
NICE APRON. NICE UNIFORM.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I SEWED THE
BUTTONS ON WITH SILVER THREAD,
SO THAT SETS ME
APART FROM THE CROWD.
I GUESS I SHOULD GET HOME.
WAIT A SEC. YOU WANT
A POP OR SOMETHING?
A POP?
GIVE ME A BREAK. IN
CHICAGO THEY CALL IT POP.
WELL, IN CONNECTICUT,
WE CALL IT FREE SODA.
AND, YES, THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, GUESS WHAT'S IN
EACH HAND, YOU GET THE SODA.
OK, THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF
A FREE SODA IS THAT IT'S FREE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.
SORRY, YOU GOTTA
SING FOR YOUR SUPPER.
OR YOUR SODA.
GUESS.
OK.
IN THIS HAND YOU HAVE...
THANK YOU.
LANE!
LANE!
WHAT'S WRONG?
I GOT KISSED.
AND I... AND I SHOPLIFTED.
ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHO KISSED YOU?
DEAN.
THE NEW KID? YES.
YOU GOT THE NEW KID? OH, MY GOD.
IT HAPPENED SO FAST. I
WAS JUST STANDING THERE.
WHERE? DOOSE'S MARKET.
HE KISSED YOU IN THE
MARKET? ON AISLE 3.
BY THE ANT SPRAY? YES.
OH, THAT'S A GOOD AISLE.
WHAT DEFINES A GOOD AISLE?
AN AISLE WHERE YOU
GET KISSED BY THE NEW KID
IS A GOOD AISLE.
OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BREATHE.
OK, SIT DOWN.
NO, I CAN'T SIT DOWN. I'M TOO...
OH, MY GOD, HE KISSED ME.
WHO KISSED YOU?
THE LORD, MAMA.
OH.
OK, THEN.
SO, TELL ME EVERYTHING.
SO, I GO INTO THE STORE,
AND HE OFFERS ME A SODA.
AND THEN HE PUTS
2 BEHIND HIS BACK
AND ASKS ME TO PICK ONE,
AND THEN HE KISSED ME.
I'M SO JEALOUS. THAT'S IT, I'VE GOT
TO GET SOME DUMB, UGLY FRIENDS.
I HAVE TO GO TELL MY MOM.
CALL ME LATER. OK.
WHAT'S WRONG? I CAN'T.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE?
IT'S SING-YOUR-FAVORITE-HYMN NIGHT
AT THE KIM HOUSE. MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
MY MOM DOESN'T KNOW
ABOUT DEAN. SO TELL HER.
THE LAST TIME THE SUBJECT OF
BOYS CAME UP, IT GOT VERY UGLY.
WELL, THAT WAS DIFFERENT. SHE THOUGHT
YOU WANTED TO QUIT SCHOOL OVER A GUY.
YES, OVER DEAN.
OK, FINE.
BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TO KNOW IT WAS HIM.
SHE'LL KNOW. HOW?
SHE'LL KNOW. SHE'S LORELAI.
SHE'LL KNOW. WHAT DO I DO?
WELL, MAYBE SHE'LL BE
MORE OPEN TO THE CONCEPT
NOW THAT YOU'RE IN SCHOOL AND
SO DOING WELL AND EVERYTHING.
MAYBE. TRY IT.
OK. I GOTTA GO.
HEY.
WAS IT GREAT?
IT WAS PERFECT.
WOW.
YEAH.
YEAH, CAN YOU HEAR THAT?
NO. NO, IT'S HIGHER.
IT'S LIKE A HIGH-PITCHED
KIND OF AN "EEEEEE" SOUND.
IT STARTED LAST WEEK.
BUT WAS LOWER AND IT ONLY
HAPPENED WHEN WE OPENED THE DOOR.
AND NOW IT'S HIGHER
AND IT'S ON ALL THE TIME.
SO I THINK IT'S REALLY, UH,
GROWING IN CONFIDENCE.
OK, LOOK, I'VE ALREADY
TOLD THIS TO 3 OTHER PEOPLE.
SO COULD YOU JUST PLEASE TELL ME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FRIDGE?
I DON'T... I'M NOT GONNA
MAKE THE NOISE AGAIN.
I'M NOT...
EEEEE.
LOOK, JERRY, I DON'T
HAVE A LOT OF PRIDE,
BUT I DO HAVE ENOUGH THAT I DO
NOT WANT TO MAKE THAT NOISE AGAIN.
SO COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FRIDGE
OR CONNECT ME WITH
SOMEONE WHO CAN?
THANK YOU.
HELLO, RUSTY? GREAT.
LISTEN, UM, MY FRIDGE IS
MAKING THIS WEIRD SOUND.
IT'S, UH, LIKE A HIGH-PITCHED...
YOU KNOW WHAT? ACTUALLY,
IS JERRY STILL THERE?
OK, H-HAVE HIM MAKE
THE SOUND. HE KNOWS IT.
I'LL WAIT.
I KNOW. IT DOES SOUND BAD.
OK, HERE IS THE DEAL.
YOU WILL SEND SOMEONE OUT HERE TOMORROW
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00 AND 9:00.
BECAUSE I WORK AND
I CAN'T WAIT 4 HOURS
FOR ONE OF YOU GUYS TO SHOW UP.
GREAT. GOODBYE.
SO, ARE THEY COMING TOMORROW?
NOPE. MONDAY,
BETWEEN 3:00 AND 8:00.
I'M COMPLETELY USELESS.
I'M SORRY.
OH, GOD, LOOK AT
THIS PLACE. IT'S A STY.
NOW I'M CRABBY. I'M
CRABBY AND USELESS.
STUPID FRIDGE!
STUPID FRIDGE GUYS.
I HATE MY LIFE.
HELLO.
HELLO!
YES?
OH, GOD. I DIDN'T... QUITE AN
ENTRANCE. JEEZ, MY HEART.
RORY'S NOT HERE.
NO, I KNOW. UM, I CAME
TO PICK UP THAT ROCKER
THAT I BOUGHT A
COUPLE WEEKS AGO.
6 WEEKS AGO. OH, OK.
WELL, THAT'S A COUPLE.
TIMES 3, THAT'S 6.
MATH HUMOR.
OH, IT'S NOT BIG WITH A LOT
OF PEOPLE. DON'T FEEL BAD.
THIS IS NOT A STORAGE FACILITY.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
THIS IS A FURNITURE STORE.
FURNITURE COMES IN,
PEOPLE BUY, THEN IT GOES OUT.
RIGHT. EXCEPT WHEN
LORELAI GILMORE BUYS.
THEN FURNITURE STAYS
HERE FOR 6 WEEKS.
HOW ABOUT I PAY YOU EXTRA?
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO PAY ME EXTRA.
I WANT YOU TO PICK UP THE THING
YOU PAID FOR IN THE
FIRST PLACE. HERE.
HUH. I REMEMBER IT SMALLER.
IT'S BEEN 6 WEEKS.
MAYBE IT GREW.
RIGHT. WELL, ONCE
AGAIN, I'M REALLY SORRY.
I'VE JUST BEEN VERY BUSY.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE LESS BUSY.
THEN YOU CAN REMEMBER
TO PICK UP CHAIRS.
RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY.
SMELL A ROSE, GOT IT.
AND THEN YOU COULD
KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER
FROM RUNNING
AROUND KISSING BOYS.
WHAT?
LANE IS A YOUNG,
IMPRESSIONABLE GIRL.
SHE DOESN'T NEED TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER'S KISSING.
ARE... ARE THE LIDS TIGHT
ON THE PAINT REMOVER,
BECAUSE YOU'RE SOUNDING
A LITTLE LOOPY TO ME.
LOOPY? WHAT'S LOOPY?
RORY'S NOT KISSING ANYBODY.
YES, SHE IS.
SHE CAME IN HERE AND TOLD LANE
SHE KISSED A BOY IN
THE GROCERY STORE.
THE GROCERY STORE,
WHERE WE BUY OUR FOOD.
THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY...
SHE KISSED THE BOY
IN THE GROCERY STORE?
YES, YES, YES.
THE BOY IN THE GROCERY
STORE. KISS, KISS, KISS.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW.
SHE DIDN'T TELL ME.
I... I HAVE TO GO.
YOU LEFT YOUR CHAIR!
OK, JUST ONE MORE TIME.
I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU
THIS STORY FOR AN HOUR.
IT DOESN'T GET DIRTY.
I CAN'T HELP IT. I'M OBSESSED.
I'M TOTALLY LIVING
VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOU.
WHY? YOU GOT
KISSED LAST WEEKEND.
REMEMBER? YOU TOLD ME.
THAT GUY YOUR
PARENTS SET YOU UP WITH.
THE ONE WITH THE
LINCOLN CONTINENTAL.
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
PATRICK CHO. OK.
LET'S DO A LITTLE COMPARE
AND CONTRAST HERE.
YOU GET KISSED ON THE MOUTH
BY A CUTE, COOL, SEXY
GUY YOU REALLY LIKE.
AND I GET KISSED ON THE
FOREHEAD BY A THEOLOGY MAJOR
IN A "MEMBERS ONLY"
JACKET WHO TRULY BELIEVES
THAT ROCK MUSIC
LEADS TO HARD DRUGS.
FAIR ENOUGH. YOU
CAN LIVE THROUGH ME.
BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT I
HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.
I'M WELL AWARE OF
THAT. THAT'S WHY
I'VE BEEN DILIGENTLY
GATHERING INFORMATION FOR US.
WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION?
WELL, LET'S SEE.
DEAN'S FROM CHICAGO,
WHICH YOU KNOW. I DO.
HE LIKES NICK DRAKE, AND LIZ
PHAIR, AND THE SUGARPLASTIC.
AND HE'S DEATHLY
ALLERGIC TO WALNUTS.
WALNUTS BAD, GOT IT.
NOW, HE HAD A
GIRLFRIEND IN CHICAGO.
A GIRLFRIEND?
HER NAME'S BETH. THEY
WENT OUT FOR A YEAR,
BUT THEY SPLIT
AMICABLY BEFORE HE LEFT.
NOW SHE'S DATING HIS COUSIN,
WHICH HE DOESN'T
FEEL TOO WEIRD ABOUT
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T THINK
THEY WERE REALLY IN LOVE.
BETH. I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
HOW'D YOU GET ALL
THIS INFORMATION?
THROUGH HIS BEST FRIEND,
WHO, BY THE WAY, IS REALLY COOL.
SO ONCE YOU GET
SETTLED WITH DEAN,
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
ASK HIM ABOUT TODD?
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
SO, BETH, HUH?
I HATE THE NAME
BETH. IT'S SO... BETH.
NOW, TODD ALSO SAID
THAT DEAN HASN'T BEEN ABLE
TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOU
FOR WEEKS.
OH, STOP IT. YOU'RE GIVING
ME PATRICK CHO FLASHBACKS.
OH, LUKE, THE FOOD
HERE IS LOVELY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
WOULD MAKE IT EVEN BETTER?
LET ME GUESS. SOME AUTUMN
FESTIVAL DECORATIONS?
WELL, FOOD WITHOUT AMBIENCE
ISN'T REALLY FOOD, IS IT?
MORE ICED TEA, PATTY?
OH, NO, THANK YOU.
IT'S MUCH TOO DEPRESSING
IN HERE FOR TEA.
YOU REALIZE TAYLOR'S
A HEAD CASE, RIGHT?
YES, BUT AT LEAST
HE'S A FESTIVE ONE.
JUST EAT.
COFFEE?
OH, COME ON, ARE
YOU MAD AT ME, TOO?
I MEAN, A MAN CAN'T CHOOSE
WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS A PICTURE
OF A FAT, STUPID BIRD ON HIS WALL?
MY GOD, THAT'S THE REASON THE DAMN
PILGRIMS CAME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I WASN'T SNUBBING
YOU. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.
NOW, I'M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.
SORRY, JUST, UH, FEELING A
LITTLE PERSECUTED LATELY.
COFFEE? PLEASE.
ARE YOU OK? YES, I'M FINE.
YOU DON'T LOOK
FINE. WELL, THANK YOU.
I JUST MEANT YOU LOOK
CONCERNED. I'M PREOCCUPIED.
YOU LOOK CONCERNED. I'M NOT.
FINE. YOU JUST LOOK IT.
HEY, YOU KNOW, SOME STREAMERS
WOULD LOOK GREAT IN HERE.
OK, I'M DONE.
THANK YOU.
SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.
OH, HEY, SAVE YOUR APOLOGIES
FOR THE INDIANS, MISSY.
PEOPLE ARE REALLY IN
A GIVING MOOD TODAY.
THE HORN OF PLENTY IS PACKED.
THAT'S GREAT. DO YOU
WANT SOME COFFEE?
UM, NO, I'LL JUST
HAVE A SIP OF YOURS.
I HAVE TO GET RIGHT BACK. OH.
REALLY? I THOUGHT WE
WERE HAVING LUNCH TODAY.
I CAN'T. WE'RE ONE
PILGRIM SHORT.
I ONLY HAVE A COUPLE MINUTES.
OH.
YOU'VE BEEN REALLY
BUSY LATELY. YEAH.
I GUESS IT'S THAT
END-OF-THE-YEAR RUSH.
I MEAN, WE HAVEN'T EVEN REALLY
TALKED IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
I DON'T KNOW. ANYTHING.
OK. DID YOU READ THAT
ARTICLE IN THE NEWSPAPER
ABOUT THE POLAR
ICE CAPS MELTING?
YEAH, YEAH. OH, BIG DEAL.
FINE, YOU PICK THE SUBJECT.
OH, OK, GREAT.
I WAS WATCHING GENERAL
HOSPITAL THE OTHER DAY
AND, YOU KNOW, THEY
HAVE A NEW LUCKY.
THE OLD LUCKY WENT
TO PLAY SOMETHING
WHERE HE COULD HAVE A REAL NAME.
SO, THE OLD LUCKY
HAD THIS GIRLFRIEND, LIZ,
WHO THOUGHT THAT
HE DIED IN A FIRE.
SO THEN THEY BRING
ON THIS NEW LUCKY
AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I KNOW
THAT'S NOT THE OLD LUCKY
BECAUSE THE NEW LUCKY HAS
WAY MORE HAIR-GEL ISSUES."
BUT STILL, LIZ WAS SO UPSET
ABOUT HIS SUPPOSED DEATH
THAT YOU COULD NOT
WAIT TO SEE THEM KISS,
YOU KNOW?
WHEN DO YOU HAVE TIME TO
WATCH GENERAL HOSPITAL?
OK, LET'S GET BACK TO THE POINT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THE WHOLE
LIZ-LUCKY KISSING THING?
I THINK THEY'RE ACTORS
BEING PAID TO PLAY A PART,
SO IT'S NICE THAT THEY'RE
LIVING UP TO THEIR OBLIGATIONS.
HMM.
RORY.
LOOK, CAN WE FINISH THIS VERY
MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION LATER?
I PROMISED LANE
I'D GET RIGHT BACK.
OK. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OK, BYE.
BYE.
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY
YOU LOOK CONCERNED.
NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT
HOW GOOD YOU'D LOOK
DRESSED LIKE A GUY
FROM THE CRUCIBLE.
FAIR ENOUGH.
HEY!
OH, GOD! OH, GOD! WHAT...
W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I ASKED YOU FIRST.
I RAN OUT OF CREAM.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?
NOTHING. DON'T LOOK. DON'T LOOK.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU
TODAY? RORY GOT KISSED.
WHAT?
RORY HAD HER FIRST
KISS. AND THAT GUY DID IT.
AH.
YEAH.
THE NEW KID. YEP.
OH, LOOK AT HIM.
LOOK HOW SMUG HE IS.
HE'S BAGGING GROCERIES.
IT'S HARD TO BE SMUG
BAGGING GROCERIES.
OH! LOOK HOW HE JUST
HANDLED THOSE LEMONS.
WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HE THREW THEM IN THE BAG.
NOT TOSSED THEM OR PLACED THEM,
BUT THREW THEM, LIKE
THEY MEANT NOTHING.
THEY'RE LEMONS.
THEY'RE SYMBOLIC.
OK. WE NEED TO GET
YOU OUT OF HERE.
NO. THAT LOTHARIO OVER
THERE HAS WORMED HIS WAY
INTO MY DAUGHTER'S HEART AND
MOUTH AND FOR THAT HE MUST DIE.
THAT'S IT. LET'S GO. NO.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
KILL THE BAG BOY.
WHY NOT?
'CAUSE IT'S DOUBLE-COUPON
DAY. YOU'LL BRING DOWN THE TOWN.
OK, OK, I'M OUT.
STOP PUSHING ME.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
SPYING LIKE THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I WANTED TO SEE HIM. I'VE SEEN
HIM ALREADY BUT BEFORE HE WAS...
RORY'S BOYFRIEND? SHUSH, YOU.
SHE'S GROWING UP. I KNOW.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU
CAN DO ABOUT THAT.
OK, MR. REALITY, BREAK
INTO SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE.
SORRY.
WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?
WHAT?
WHY DIDN'T RORY TELL
ME ABOUT THE KISS?
MAYBE SHE DIDN'T KNOW
YOU'D TAKE IT SO WELL.
YOU WANT TO HEAR
SOMETHING CRAZY?
'CAUSE ALL THE TALK UP UNTIL
NOW HAS BEEN SO NORMAL?
HE KIND OF LOOKS
LIKE CHRISTOPHER.
THE GROCERY KID?
YEAH. HE LOOKS LIKE CHRISTOPHER.
AND CHRISTOPHER IS RORY'S DAD?
THE HAIR, THE BUILD,
SOMETHING ABOUT THE EYES.
HE REMINDS ME OF CHRISTOPHER.
WELL, THAT'S NOT TOO SURPRISING.
YOU'RE GONNA QUOTE FREUD TO ME?
'CAUSE I'LL PUSH YOU IN
FRONT OF A MOVING CAR.
THIS TALK WAS GOING SO WELL.
YOU AND RORY ARE A LOT ALIKE.
IT'S NOT SURPRISING YOU WOULD
HAVE SIMILAR TASTES IN MEN.
I GUESS.
BUT WHY? WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?
WE TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING.
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
BUT WE TELL EACH
OTHER EVERYTHING ELSE.
BUT THIS SHE KEEPS A SECRET.
IT'S 'CAUSE IT'S A GUY THING.
PROBABLY. WELL, THAT'S NOT GOOD.
I HAVE TO MAKE HER UNDERSTAND
THAT I'M OK WITH THE GUY THING.
'CAUSE NOT TALKING ABOUT
GUYS AND OUR PERSONAL LIVES,
THAT'S ME AND MY MOM.
THAT IS NOT ME AND RORY.
ARE YOU OK WITH THE GUY THING?
YES.
REALLY?
OK-ISH.
THAT'S NOT OK.
WELL, THAT'S OK WITH AN "ISH."
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
SHE JUST... SHE THINKS
I'LL DISAPPROVE, RIGHT?
WELL, I WON'T.
I WILL SHOW HER THAT
I THINK THIS IS GREAT.
ONCE SHE SEES THAT
I THINK THIS IS GREAT,
EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO
NORMAL BETWEEN US, RIGHT?
RIGHT, OK, GOOD.
SO YOU PASSED THE NEED
FOR AN ACTUAL PERSON TO
TALK TO SEVERAL MINUTES AGO.
OH, YEAH, BEFORE
THE GELATO STAND.
YOU'RE AN AMAZING WOMAN.
THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.
HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.
OH, HEY, NO BIG DEAL.
UM, THERE'S CHINESE
IN THE FRIDGE.
OK.
SO, KISSED ANY GOOD BOYS LATELY?
WHO... MRS. KIM.
OF COURSE.
SO, HE'S CUTE.
YEAH, HE IS.
CAN HE SPELL?
HE CAN SPELL AND READ.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?
SINCE THIS MORNING.
YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GONNA
BE ABLE TO KEEP IT A SECRET, DID YOU?
YOU WERE MAKING
OUT IN THE MARKET.
WE WEREN'T MAKING
OUT. IT WAS JUST ONE KISS.
YEAH, WELL, BY THE TIME
THAT GETS TO MISS PATTY'S
IT'S A SCENE FROM 9 1/2 WEEKS.
YOU'VE KNOWN ALL THIS TIME?
AT LUKE'S? HERE?
YEAH.
YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING.
NOW, FUNNY. I WAS GOING TO
SAY THE SAME THING TO YOU.
SO...
SO...
WHAT NOW?
NOW? NOTHING.
NO? NO LECTURE
ABOUT KISSING A BOY?
NO. WHY, DID YOU DO IT WRONG?
NO.
I DON'T THINK.
I DIDN'T LOVE THE
WAY I FOUND OUT,
BUT YOU'RE GETTING OLDER.
THESE THINGS ARE BOUND
TO HAPPEN OCCASIONALLY.
ACTUALLY, I THINK IT'S GREAT.
NO, YOU DON'T.
YES, I DO. I'M THRILLED.
THRILLED? YEAH.
YOU'RE COMPLETELY WEIRDED
OUT BY THIS, AREN'T YOU?
NO, YOU'RE CRAZY. I'M
PERFECTLY FINE WITH IT.
YOU DON'T SEEM FINE. YOU SEEM
THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF FINE.
WELL, YOU'RE
PROJECTING THAT ON ME
BECAUSE YOU DON'T
WANT TO THINK THAT I'M FINE
WHEN I AM, AS I'VE SAID, FINE.
OK.
NEVER BEEN FINER.
GOT IT.
YOU WANT SOME?
NO, THANKS.
I'M FINE.
OK, WE HAVE TO BE REALLY QUICK
'CAUSE THE VIDEO
STORE'S GONNA CLOSE.
SO STICK TO OUR LIST. NO IMPULSE
BUYING LIKE TOOTHPASTE OR SOAP.
RORY?
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK WE HAVE ENOUGH
STUFF TO EAT AT HOME.
REALLY? WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
'CAUSE THE HOME I
LEFT HAD NOTHING.
WE'RE ORDERING
PIZZA. THAT'S ENOUGH.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
YOU CAN'T WATCH WILLY WONKA
WITHOUT MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF JUNK FOOD.
IT'S NOT RIGHT. I
WON'T ALLOW IT.
WE'RE GOING IN.
RORY, IT'S FINE.
IT'S TOO WEIRD.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO
MEET HIM EVENTUALLY.
OK, HOW ABOUT NEXT YEAR?
I'M GOING TO BE
SO COOL IN THERE,
YOU WILL MISTAKE ME FOR SHAFT.
THERE WILL BE NO INTERROGATION.
I SWEAR.
NO KISSING NOISES. NO
STORIES FROM MY CHILDHOOD.
NO REFERRING TO
CHICAGO AS "CHI-TOWN."
NO JAMES DEAN JOKES.
NO FATHER-WITH-A-SHOTGUN STARES.
NO NANCY WALKER IMPRESSIONS.
OH, COME ON.
PROMISE ME.
I REALLY AND TRULY PROMISE.
NOW CAN WE PLEASE
GO TO THE MARKET?
OK. THANK GOD.
LET'S GO.
I DON'T SEE HIM.
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
MAYBE HE'S ON A BREAK.
YEAH. YEAH, MAYBE
HE'S ON A BREAK.
YEAH.
OK, GOOD. SO WE CAN SHOP.
YEP.
DO WE WANT MARSHMALLOWS?
MMM.
AND JELLYBEANS. AND
CHOCOLATE KISSES.
COOKIE DOUGH WE HAVE
AT HOME, PEANUT BUTTER...
OOH! DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE THAT
THING THAT'S A SUGAR STICK ON ONE SIDE
BUT THEN YOU DIP IT IN THE SUGAR
ON THE OTHER SIDE AND EAT IT?
WE ARE GONNA BE SO SICK. IT'S
AMAZING THAT WE STILL FUNCTION.
THERE HE IS.
BOY, HE'S TALL.
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME
BACK-BENDER, THAT KISS.
MOM.
MAKE SURE YOU WARM UP NEXT TIME.
OK, WE ARE LEAVING NOW.
SORRY. DONE NOW.
HE'S GOT GREAT EYES. YOU GOT
TO LOVE A GUY WITH GREAT EYES.
YEAH.
AND A NICE SMILE. VERY NICE.
THINK WE CAN GET HIM TO
TURN AROUND? IT'S NICE, TOO.
REALLY? TRUST ME.
HEY.
OH, YOU GIRLS HAVING
ANOTHER MOVIE NIGHT?
YEAH. IT'S WILLY WONKA &
THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.
OH. THAT'S NICE. ISN'T THAT
THE ONE WITH GENE HACKMAN?
UH, GENE WILDER.
YOU'RE A WONKA FAN?
YEAH.
UM, DEAN, THIS IS
MY MOM, LORELAI.
AND, MOM, THIS IS DEAN.
NICE TO MEET YOU, DEAN.
YEAH, YOU, TOO.
NICE APRON.
UM, THANKS.
$41.83.
OH, WOW.
IT'S EXPENSIVE TO SLOWLY
ROT YOUR INSIDES, ISN'T IT?
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
SO, DEAN, NICE MEETING
YOU. HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YEAH.
DEAN.
SEE, THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I SAID NOTHING
EMBARRASSING, NOTHING STUPID.
I APPRECIATE THAT.
SO CHILL OUT, SUPERMARKET SLUT.
SEE, EVEN A LITTLE
INFORMATION IN YOUR HANDS
IS DANGEROUS.
I NEED COFFEE.
MOM, THE VIDEO STORE
CLOSES IN 10 MINUTES.
WELL, YOU RUN TO THE VIDEO
STORE, AND I'LL GO GET COFFEE.
GO, GO, GO.
I'LL MEET YOU AT LUKE'S.
HEY, UM, YOU FORGOT
YOUR RED VINES.
OH, WOW! YOU TOTALLY
SAVED THE NIGHT!
THANKS. SURE.
HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
ME?
UH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER?
WE'RE ORDERING
PIZZA, WE GOT A MOVIE.
THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S
GOT A POOL GOING
TO SEE WHO FALLS INTO
A SUGAR COMA FIRST.
I'M THE FAVORITE.
IT MIGHT BE FUN.
UH, WELL, UM, UH...
OH, IT'S TOTALLY CASUAL.
I'M SURE RORY WOULD LOVE IT.
OK, SURE.
YEAH? YEAH. WHAT TIME?
7:00 SOUND GOOD? SOUNDS FINE.
LET ME GIVE YOU OUR ADDRESS.
THAT'S OK. I... I KNOW
WHERE YOU LIVE.
RIGHT. OF COURSE YOU DO.
UM, SO SEE YOU TONIGHT.
BYE. BYE.
SO? GOT IT.
SCORE! YOU KNOW, ON THE
ONE HAND I'M GLAD IT WAS IN,
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, WHAT
KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN
WHERE NO ONE HAS RENTED WILLY
WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY?
WELL, WE RENTED
IT. THANK GOD FOR US.
OH, HEY, I INVITED YOUR FRIEND
OVER TO WATCH IT WITH US.
WHAT FRIEND? DEAN.
WHAT?
YEAH. I TOLD HIM WHAT WE WERE DOING
TONIGHT, AND HE WAS TOTALLY INTO IT.
SO... WHY ARE YOU
LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?
YOU INVITED DEAN TO OUR HOUSE?
YES.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
WHY ARE YOU MAD?
BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN
OUT ON A DATE BY OURSELVES YET.
MY FIRST DATE WITH DEAN IS
GONNA BE WITH MY MOTHER?
ARE... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I... I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU
WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS.
IN WHAT UNIVERSE
WOULD I BE HAPPY?
THIS ISN'T AMISH COUNTRY. GIRLS
AND BOYS USUALLY DATE ALONE.
I DON'T THINK OF IT AS A DATE.
I THOUGHT OF IT MORE AS A
HANGING OUT KIND OF SESSION.
WELL, I DON'T WANT OUR FIRST HANGING
OUT SESSION TO BE WITH MY MOTHER EITHER.
STOP SAYING MOTHER
LIKE THAT. LIKE WHAT?
LIKE THERE'S SUPPOSED TO
BE ANOTHER WORD AFTER IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS.
I'M SO HUMILIATED.
WHAT... YOU'RE
TOTALLY OVERREACTING.
I INVITED HIM TO A MOVIE AND
PIZZA, NOT TO NIAGARA FALLS.
HE'S THE BOY THAT I LIKE.
I KNOW. I LOOKED FOR
ONE THAT YOU HATED.
BUT IT WAS REALLY SHORT NOTICE.
AND NOW HE'S FORCED TO COME
OVER AND SIT WITH ME AND MY MOTHER
AND EAT CRAP AND WATCH A MOVIE?
WELL,
I JUST INVITED A FRIEND
OF YOURS TO HANG OUT.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I MEAN,
WHAT IF LANE HAD DONE IT?
YOU'RE NOT LANE.
YOU'RE MY MOTHER.
YOU INVITING HIM OVER IS LIKE
GRANDMA INVITING A GUY YOU LIKED OVER.
YOU'RE COMPARING
ME TO MY MOTHER?
NO. I JUST...
I'M EMILY GILMORE NOW? MY,
HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN.
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
I WASN'T TRYING TO
HUMILIATE YOU. I KNOW.
IF I WAS EMILY GILMORE, I'D
BE TRYING TO HUMILIATE YOU.
I JUST...
LOOK, I'M SORRY,
OK? I SCREWED UP.
I, UH, I WAS TRYING TO...
LOOK, I'LL GO.
I'LL UNINVITE HIM.
I'LL TELL HIM THAT IT'S CANCELED
ON ACCOUNT OF I JUST
FOUND OUT THAT I'M MY MOTHER
AND I HAVE TO GO INTO
INTENSIVE THERAPY RIGHT NOW.
NO, YOU CAN'T UNINVITE HIM.
HE'LL THINK I WIGGED
OUT OR SOMETHING.
WELL, THEN I'LL JUST DISAPPEAR,
AND YOU GUYS CAN BE ALONE.
OH, AND HAVE IT LOOK LIKE MY
MOM ARRANGED A DATE FOR ME?
NO!
WHAT DO WE DO?
HE HAS TO COME.
IT WON'T BE SO BAD, OK?
JUST PIZZA, AND A
MOVIE, AND HANGING OUT.
I PROMISE YOU WON'T FEEL
LIKE YOUR MOTHER IS THERE.
OK.
OK.
YOU MIGHT, HOWEVER, FEEL
LIKE MY MOTHER IS THERE.
OH, BOY.
WELL...
HEY.
THIS IS GOOD. ADD SOME COLD
CREAM, AND SOME CURLERS,
AND LET HIM KNOW WHAT HE'LL
BE COMING HOME TO EVERY NIGHT.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A SIMPLE NIGHT.
WATCH MOVIE, EAT JUNK,
GO TO BED FEELING SICK.
END OF STORY.
NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO
LOOK PRETTY AND GIRLY,
WHICH IS COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE
BECAUSE I'M GROSS, AND
I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR.
DO YOU WANT SOME HELP? NO.
YES. OK.
UH...
LET'S SEE. THIS AND...
ALL RIGHT, WELL...
THIS SAYS, "HELLO, I'M HIP
AND CUTE, BUT ALSO RELAXED.
"SINCE THIS IS SOMETHING
I JUST THREW ON,
EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS
FANTASTIC ON ME."
HOW DID YOU DO THAT? WHAT?
I'VE BEEN STARING AT
THAT TOP FOR 20 MINUTES.
IT WAS JUST A TOP.
YOU WALK IN, AND IN 3
SECONDS IT'S AN OUTFIT.
IT COMES FROM YEARS
OF EXPERIENCING
FASHION BRAIN FREEZE
JUST LIKE THE ONE YOU HAD.
HOW DO YOU DO IT? WHAT?
THIS WHOLE GUY THING?
I MEAN, I'VE WATCHED YOU
WHEN YOU TALK TO A MAN.
YOU HAVE A COMEBACK FOR
EVERYTHING. YOU MAKE HIM LAUGH.
YOU SMILE RIGHT.
I SMILE RIGHT?
AND THEN YOU DO
THE LITTLE HAIR FLIP.
OH, TWIRL. IT'S A HAIR TWIRL.
AND THEN YOU WALK AWAY. AND
HE JUST STANDS THERE, AMAZED,
LIKE HE CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
THAT'S BECAUSE I
JUST STOLE HIS WALLET.
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
TRIG, I CAN DO.
BUT BOYS AND DATING, FORGET IT.
I'M A TOTAL SPAZ.
LISTEN.
THE TALKING PART,
YOU JUST GET USED TO.
THE HAIR TWIRL, I CAN TEACH YOU.
AND THE LEAVING-HIM-AMAZED PART,
WITH YOUR BRAIN AND KILLER
BLUE EYES, I'M NOT WORRIED.
YOU'LL DO FINE. JUST GIVE
YOURSELF A LITTLE TIME TO GET THERE.
IS HALF AN HOUR ENOUGH?
PLENTY. COME ON.
DAB ON SOME LIP
GLOSS, CLEAR BUT FRUITY.
MAYBE A LITTLE MASCARA.
WEAR YOUR HAIR DOWN,
AND YOUR ATTITUDE HIGH.
YOU'RE LIKE A
CRAZY ELSA KLENSCH.
OH, THANK YOU. COME
ON, NOW, HUSTLE.
WE GOT A MAN COMING OVER.
WHAT TIME DID YOU
TELL HIM TO GET HERE?
7:00.
MAYBE SOMETHING HAPPENED.
MAYBE HE'S NOT COMING.
MAYBE HE'S JUST LATE,
MISS GERMAN TRAIN.
OOPS!
WHAT?
CHICAGO IS ONE OF
MY FAVORITE TOWNS.
THERE USED TO BE A
GREAT CLUB THERE CALLED...
WHAT WAS IT CALLED, BABY?
UH, MISTER KELLY'S.
OH, YEAH, MISTER KELLY'S.
YOU EVER GO THERE?
THEY'VE GOT DEAN.
WAIT HERE.
SO, DEAN, YOU LIKE JAZZ?
OH, HE SURE DOES.
IT'S ALL WE EVER
HEAR ABOUT, RIGHT?
JAZZ. JAZZ. JAZZ.
JAZZ. JAZZ. HEY.
HEY, SUGAR. WE WERE JUST GETTING
TO KNOW YOUR YOUNG MAN HERE.
YEAH, I... I SEE THAT.
SO, DEAN, UM, WOULD YOU MIND
GOING INSIDE AND HELPING RORY OUT?
THERE'S A STRUGGLE
WITH A PICKLE JAR LID
THAT I THINK SHE'S
ABOUT TO LOSE.
OH, SURE, YEAH.
OH, IT WAS NICE
TALKING TO YOU, DEAN.
YEAH, YOU, TOO.
STAY COOL, KID.
I WILL.
OH, IS HE CUTE! YEAH.
AND THAT CHUCK
HESTON CHIN OF HIS!
IS HE RORY'S BOYFRIEND?
NO, THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS.
WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT I HEARD.
KISSIN' AT THE MARKET. GIVES A
WHOLE NEW MEANING TO TASTIN' DAY.
OK. I GOT TO GET BACK
INSIDE AND SHOWER.
SO I'LL TALK TO YOU GUYS LATER.
YEAH. HAVE A GOOD EVENING.
OH! AND DON'T FORGET TO
INVITE US TO THE WEDDING.
OH, WON'T THEIR
KIDS BE GORGEOUS!
OH, GOD, I HOPE NOT.
UH, I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
I... I GOT HERE, LIKE,
A HALF HOUR AGO.
WE BELIEVE YOU.
WE'D BELIEVE YOU IF YOU SAID
YOU GOT HERE 3 HOURS AGO.
SO, DEAN, HOW DO YOU LIKE
IT HERE IN STARS HOLLOW?
I LIKE IT. UH,
IT'S... IT'S QUIET,
BUT... BUT NICE.
I LIKE ALL THE TREES EVERYWHERE.
YEAH, THE TREES
HERE ARE SOMETHING.
UM, WHEN RORY WAS
LITTLE, SHE FOUND OUT
THAT ONE WAS CALLED
A WEEPING WILLOW.
AND SO SHE SPENT HOURS
TRYING TO CHEER IT UP.
YOU KNOW, LIKE TELLING
IT JOKES AND MAKE...
NO, I'M SORRY. THAT WAS ME.
WOULD YOU LIKE A
TOUR OF THE HOUSE?
OK. OK.
SO, THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM,
WHERE WE DO OUR LIVING.
AND UM...
UPSTAIRS IS MY ROOM
AND THE GOOD BATHROOM.
AND UH,
THE KITCHEN IS
RIGHT THROUGH HERE.
YOU EVER HEARD A
FRIDGE YODEL BEFORE?
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
WELL, YOU HAVE YOUR BASICS.
MICROWAVE FOR POPCORN,
STOVE FOR STORING SHOES,
REFRIGERATOR, WHICH IS
COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.
INTERESTING.
OH. UM, I'LL GET THAT. RORY,
YOU TAKE OVER AS TOUR GUIDE.
MAKE SURE AND SHOW
HIM THE EMERGENCY EXITS.
THAT'S MY MOM.
SHE'S GOT ENERGY.
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S 90 PERCENT
WATER, 10 PERCENT CAFFEINE.
SO, WHAT'S IN THERE?
UM, THAT'S MY ROOM.
REALLY? CAN I SEE IT?
WOW! VERY CLEAN.
HOW MUCH DOES IT SUCK THAT THEY USE
PINK MOON IN A VOLKSWAGEN COMMERCIAL.
OH, I KNOW.
SO, ARE YOU GONNA COME IN?
OH, NO, I'VE SEEN IT.
I MEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE
GLUED TO THE DOOR THERE.
NO, I'M JUST, UH, OBSERVING MY
ROOM FROM A NEW PERSPECTIVE.
YOU KNOW, I HARDLY
EVER STAND HERE.
IT'S REALLY MAKING ME
RE-THINK MY THROW PILLOWS.
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO GET OUT OF HERE?
NO, I'M FINE WITH
YOU LOOKING AROUND.
NICE CHICKEN.
OR, YOU KNOW, AT LEAST I WAS.
WE DO NOT NEED DESSERT, SOOKIE.
OH, EVERYBODY NEEDS DESSERT.
SO, WHERE IS RORY? WITH DEAN.
DEAN? OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
YEAH, DEAN IS HERE.
YEAH, RIGHT. OK.
YOU NEED TO GO NOW.
PLEASE. I JUST WANT
ONE LITTLE PEEK. NO.
OK, FINE.
SO, UH, HOW ARE YOU?
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
SOOKIE.
I'M CONCERNED.
YOU'RE STALLING. AM I?
SOOKIE.
HEY, LORELAI.
HEY, JOE. WHAT DO I OWE YOU?
$15 EVEN. OK.
HOW YOU DOING? AWESOME.
WHAT DID YOU GET ON YOUR PIZZA?
DID YOU ASK FOR EXTRA SAUCE?
BECAUSE I ALWAYS
ASK FOR EXTRA SAUCE...
SOOKIE, SHE'S ALREADY FREAKED
OUT THAT I INVITED HIM HERE.
IF SHE THINKS I'M
PARADING HIM AROUND
IN FRONT OF MY
FRIENDS, SHE'LL KILL ME.
BUT I JUST WANT...
DEATH, BLOODY AND SLOW, OK?
MOM, IS THAT THE PIZZA?
UH, YEAH.
OK, BYE. NOW GO.
BUT I JUST WANTED...
NO. BYE. BYE-BYE.
BYE. BYE.
SO, ARE YOU HUNGRY?
UH, STARVING.
WHERE'S THE PIZZA?
UH, THE PIZZA'S...
PIZZA!
JUST BRINGING IN THE PIZZA.
HI, I'M SOOKIE. I'M A
FRIEND OF LORELAI'S.
HI. HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU, DEAN.
I MEAN, NOT THAT I
KNEW YOU WERE DEAN.
BUT YOU DO LOOK LIKE A DEAN.
DOESN'T HE LOOK LIKE A DEAN?
YEAH, OF ALL THE PEOPLE
STANDING IN THIS ROOM,
HE LOOKS MOST LIKE A DEAN.
BYE, SOOKIE.
HAVE FUN. OK.
HERE, UM, I'LL TAKE THAT.
OH, THANKS. GREAT.
THE COFFEE TABLE'S FINE.
OK.
I DID NOT INVITE HER HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
SET UP A CAMERA
AND BROADCAST IT ALL
OVER THE INTERNET?
BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT BIG.
THANK GOD THERE'S
GOOD PIZZA HERE.
OH, YEAH. NOW WE DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT KIND YOU LIKED,
SO WE JUST GOT EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
GOOD. WELL, WHILE IT'S HOT.
NOW, REMEMBER, NO MESSING ABOUT.
NO TOUCHING, NO TASTING...
WHO NEEDS MORE?
I DO.
WOW, YOU CAN EAT.
YES, I CAN.
OH, THAT'S BAD, ISN'T IT?
NO. UH, MOST GIRLS DON'T EAT.
IT'S... IT'S GOOD YOU EAT.
I'M ALL FOR IT.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
BESIDES MY EATING HABITS, SHALL WE?
OH... OH, OH... OH,
OOMPA LOOMPAS!
MY MOM HAS A THING
FOR THE OOMPA LOOMPAS.
I DON'T THINK FINDING THEM
AMUSING CONSTITUTES A THING.
NO, BUT HAVING A RECURRING
DREAM ABOUT MARRYING ONE DOES.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED
ON YOUR PRINCE
CHARMING CRUSH, OK?
AT LEAST MY OBSESSIONS ARE LIVE.
YOU HAVE A THING FOR A CARTOON.
OOH, PRINCE CHARMING, HUH?
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
AND NOT THE CINDERELLA
ONE, THE SLEEPING BEAUTY ONE.
'CAUSE HE COULD DANCE.
YEAH.
I'VE GOT SISTERS.
SO, COME ON, DEAN, TELL US SOME
OF YOUR EMBARRASSING SECRETS.
WELL, I... I HAVE NO
EMBARRASSING SECRETS.
OH, PLEASE.
I BET I KNOW ONE.
WHAT?
THE THEME FROM ICE
CASTLES MAKES YOU CRY.
OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
OH, I'VE GOT ONE.
UM, AT THE END OF THE WAY WE
WERE, YOU WANTED ROBERT REDFORD
TO DUMP HIS WIFE AND
KID FOR BARBRA STREISAND.
I'VE NEVER SEEN THE WAY WE WERE.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR? HEARTACHE, LAUGHTER...
COMMUNISM.
ALL IN ONE NEAT PACKAGE.
I'LL HAVE TO EXPERIENCE
THAT SOMETIME.
NEXT MOVIE NIGHT. IT'S A PLAN.
OH, I'M GONNA GET THE POPCORN.
BRING THE SPRAY CHEESE.
SO, UH,
AT WHAT POINT DOES THE OUTSIDER GET
TO SUGGEST A MOVIE FOR MOVIE NIGHT?
IT DEPENDS.
WHAT MOVIE ARE YOU THINKING OF?
I DON'T KNOW, UH,
BOOGIE NIGHTS, MAYBE.
YOU'LL NEVER GET
IT PAST LORELAI.
NOT A MARKY MARK FAN?
SHE HAD A BAD
REACTION TO MAGNOLIA.
SHE SAT THERE SCREAMING FOR
3 HOURS, "I WANT MY LIFE BACK!"
AND THEN WE GOT KICKED
OUT OF THE THEATER.
IT WAS ACTUALLY A
PRETTY ENTERTAINING DAY.
YEAH? YEAH.
I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO COME UP
WITH A DIFFERENT MOVIE THEN.
I GUESS YOU WILL.
ARE THEY CHOCOLATE EGGS?
THAT OOMPA LOOMPA RIGHT THERE.
YOU KNOW WHEN HE'S DANCING...
THESE ARE THE GEESE
THAT LAY THE GOLDEN EGGS.
AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY'RE
LARGER THAN ORDINARY GEESE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THEY'RE
QUADRUPLE-SIZED GEESE
WHICH PRODUCE
OCTUPLE-SIZED EGGS...
THANK YOU.
BUT EASTER'S OVER!
THEY DON'T KNOW THAT.
HEY, DADDY, I WANT
A GOLDEN GOOSE.
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT,
SWEETHEART, ALL RIGHT.
DADDY'LL GET YOU A GOLDEN GOOSE
AS SOON AS WE GET HOME.
NO, I WANT ONE OF THOSE!
WONKA, HOW MUCH DO YOU
WANT FOR THE GOLDEN GOOSE?
THEY'RE NOT FOR SALE...
HEY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I WANT ONE...
MOM. WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
TRYING TO FIND THE BEST
BATHING SUIT FOR MY BUST SIZE.
WELL, GET BACK IN THERE.
WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?
DID THE BAG BOY TRY SOMETHING?
HE'S SITTING THERE AND HE'S
WATCHING THE MOVIE, AND HE'S PERFECT,
AND HE SMELLS REALLY GOOD.
WHAT?
HE SMELLS REALLY GOOD,
AND HE LOOKS AMAZING,
AND I AM STUPID! I
SAID, "THANK YOU."
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, YOU...
YOU SAID "THANK YOU"?
WHEN HE KISSED ME.
HE KISSED YOU AGAIN?
WHAT, IS HE JUST OUT
OF PRISON OR SOMETHING?
NO, NOT NOW.
YESTERDAY, AT THE STORE.
OH, ALL RIGHT. STRIKE
THE PRISON COMMENT.
SO, WAIT, HE KISSED YOU
AND YOU SAID "THANK YOU"?
YES.
WELL, THAT WAS VERY POLITE.
NO, IT WAS STUPID. AND I DON'T
KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
YOU'RE SITTING IN THE KITCHEN.
WHAT KIND OF CHAPERONE ARE YOU?
ME? I'M NOT TRYING TO BE A
CHAPERON. I'M A GIRLFRIEND.
WELL, SWITCH GEARS 'CAUSE
I'M FREAKING OUT HERE!
YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU?
YEAH.
WELL, OK, THEN. JUST CALM DOWN.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO
DO OR SAY ANYTHING ELSE
THAT'S GONNA BE
REMOTELY MORONIC.
I'M AFRAID ONCE YOUR HEART IS
INVOLVED IT ALL COMES OUT IN MORON.
JUST PLEASE COME BACK IN.
OK. LET'S GO, THEN.
WAIT. WE CAN'T GO BACK
IN TOGETHER, THOUGH.
BECAUSE THAT WOULD
BE TOO OBVIOUS.
RIGHT. OK, UH, I'LL GO IN FIRST,
AND YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM.
OK, GOOD.
TELL HIM I HAD TO WASH MY FACE.
YES. 'CAUSE OF ALL
THE SUGAR YOU ATE.
YES, GOOD, VERY GOOD.
OK.
NOW HOLD ON TIGHT...
HI. I'M BACK.
RORY WENT TO, UH, WASH HER FACE.
OH, OK.
SWIFTER THAN EAGLES,
STRONGER THAN LIONS...
HEY, GRANDPA, WHAT WAS
THAT WE JUST WENT THROUGH?
DEAN.
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
HOW TO SAY THIS, BUT, UM,
THIS IS A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF
HOUSEHOLD YOU WALKED INTO TONIGHT.
YEAH, I KNOW.
SEE, RORY IS MY DAUGHTER.
AH, HERE COMES THE TALK.
HOW ABOUT I TALK, YOU LISTEN?
RORY IS A SMART KID. SHE'S
NEVER BEEN MUCH FOR GUYS.
SO THE FACT THAT SHE
LIKES YOU MEANS A LOT.
I DON'T BELIEVE SHE'D WASTE
HER TIME WITH SOME LOSER.
BUT YOU'RE WATCHING ME.
SWEETHEART, THE WHOLE
TOWN IS WATCHING YOU.
THAT GIRL IN THERE IS
BELOVED AROUND HERE.
YOU HURT HER, THERE'S
NOT A SAFE PLACE
WITHIN 100 MILES
FOR YOU TO HIDE.
THIS IS A VERY SMALL,
WEIRD PLACE YOU MOVED TO.
I'VE NOTICED.
SO, JUST KNOW ALL
EYES ARE ON YOU.
ANYTHING ELSE?
SHE'S NOT GOING ON
YOUR MOTORCYCLE.
I DON'T HAVE A MOTORCYCLE.
SHE'S NOT GOING ON
YOUR MOTORCYCLE.
FINE. SHE WON'T GO
ON MY MOTORCYCLE.
CURFEW WILL BE ENFORCED. YOU WILL
NOT DETRACT FROM HER SCHOOLWORK.
AND YOU'RE GONNA START
HANDLING THOSE LEMONS BETTER.
WHAT? DON'T INTERRUPT
ME WHEN I'M SPEAKING.
I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO
CHANGE, ALTER, TWEAK,
OR ADD TO THIS LIST OF
RULES AT ANY GIVEN TIME
WITHOUT ANY WRITTEN
NOTICE. AM I CLEAR?
YOU'RE CLEAR.
GOOD.
MY TURN TO SPEAK?
FINE. GO AHEAD.
YOU CAN LAY ON ALL
THE RULES YOU WANT.
AND YOU CAN HAVE THE
WHOLE TOWN SPY ON ME,
AND... AND STARE AT ME, AND
CHASE ME THROUGH THE STREETS.
OH, I LIKE THE "CHASE YOU
THROUGH THE STREETS" IDEA.
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
WELL, IT'S GONNA BE A
SHORT CHASE THEN, ISN'T IT?
I NEED YOU NOT TO HATE ME.
IF YOU HATE ME, THEN I DON'T
HAVE A SHOT IN HELL WITH RORY.
RORY HAS HER OWN MIND.
YEAH, BUT YOU'RE
HER BEST FRIEND.
AND WHAT YOU THINK MEANS
EVERYTHING TO HER, AND YOU KNOW THAT.
I WANT TO LIKE YOU,
'CAUSE RORY LIKES YOU.
BUT YOU DON'T.
I WANT TO.
AND I USUALLY GET WHAT I WANT.
FAIR ENOUGH.
SHE'S TAKING A LONG
TIME ON HER FACE.
YEAH, WELL, RORY
IS A PERFECTIONIST.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN, MR. WONKA.
TELL YOUR MOM
THANKS FOR INVITING ME.
I'M SORRY IF THIS
WAS TOTALLY WEIRD.
I MEAN, WITH MY MOM
INVITING YOU OVER...
HEY, NO, UH, IT
WAS GOOD, REALLY.
REALLY?
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
SO, THAT WENT WELL.
YEAH, NOT BAD.
DID I HUMILIATE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM
WHEN I WENT TO THE BATHROOM?
THAT YOU'RE PRETTY.
LIAR. YEAH, WELL...
I'M GONNA GO TO BED. OK.
MOM, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
NOTHING.
YES, THERE IS. COME ON. TELL ME.
NOTHING.
I JUST... I REALLY WANTED YOU
TO TELL ME ABOUT THAT KISS.
I'M SO SORRY. I REALLY
WANTED TO, I SWEAR.
I JUST GOT SCARED AND...
I KNOW. I'M NOT MAD.
I JUST WANTED TO HEAR
ABOUT IT. THAT'S ALL.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S OK. I'M FINE.
IT'S ONE TOO MANY
CARAMELLO BARS. I'M SORRY.
YOU HAVE SCHOOL, I HAVE WORK.
SO TIME FOR BED.
OK. GOOD NIGHT.
OK. GOOD NIGHT, HON.
MOM? MMM.
I KNOW THIS IS LAME AND
TOTALLY AFTER THE FACT, BUT...
START AT THE BEGINNING.
AND YOU LEAVE
ANYTHING OUT, YOU DIE.
WHERE WERE YOU?
OK. I WAS IN THE AISLE
WHERE THE ANT SPRAY IS.
THAT'S A GOOD AISLE.
I KNOW, THAT'S
WHAT LANE SAID, TOO.
BUT, ANYWAY, SO HE WAS
WORKING, AND I GO INTO THE STORE,
AND I JUST KIND OF WALKED AROUND
PRETENDING TO SHOP
FOR FOOD OR WHATEVER...