Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 1, Episode 5 - Cinnamon's Wake - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS:

OH, MY GOD, I'M
GOING TO CHILTON?

YOU DID IT, BABE. YOU GOT IN.

THIS GUY ASKED ABOUT YOU TODAY.

I'M DEAN. HI.

WHAT DID HE WANT TO KNOW?

WHERE YOU WERE.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

YOU HAD TO GO TO
THE GENIUS SCHOOL.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU.

WHEN?

EVERY DAY.

I'M MAX MEDINA.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

OH, NO!

I'M GONNA MISS THE TEST!

GO, GO, GO, GO! I'M GONE!

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TEST?

YOU'VE MISSED THE TEST.

I'M READY FOR THIS TEST.

I KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT SHAKESPEARE.

I THINK THERE'S BEEN
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

UH, RORY TOLD ME THAT SHE
WASN'T ALLOWED TO TAKE HER TEST.

SHE WAS LATE.

AND YOU! YOU SAY SHE'S
SMART AND SHE'LL DO FINE.

AND THIS ROTTING, STODGY RATHOLE
COULD USE SOMEBODY LIKE HER.

THEN YOU COMPLETELY SHUT HER OUT
OF A TEST SHE'S BEEN CRAMMING FOR,

READY FOR, THAT SHE
COMPLETELY DESERVES TO TAKE!

NO. HARVARD IS MY DREAM.

I WANT IT MORE THAN
ANYTHING. I SWEAR.

I'M NOT READY TO GIVE
UP ON CHILTON YET.

IT'S MAX MEDINA CALLING.

LORELAI, IT WAS A PLEASURE
ENCOUNTERING YOU.

I HOPE IT HAPPENS AGAIN.

BYE.

SO, WHERE DID YOU SAY DAD WAS?

AWAY ON BUSINESS.

LOCATION'S TOP-SECRET?

OH, GERMANY.

GERMANY. IS DAD'S FIRM
INSURING NAZIS NOW?

YOUR FATHER DOESN'T
KNOW ANY NAZIS.

I KNOW, MOM. I WAS JUST...

WHAT?

JOKING. SHE WAS JOKING.

OH, HARD TO TELL.

YEAH. WELL.

OH, I'M AFRAID I
HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.

CLAUDIA DIED.

WHO?

CLAUDIA, YOUR COUSIN, CLAUDIA.

CLAUDIA!

I'M HEARING THE NAME, MOM.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THAT IS.

CLAUDIA'S YOUR COUSIN, FOR
ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES.

AH, NOW WE'RE GETTING TO IT.

SHE WAS YOUR FATHER'S
GRANDMOTHER'S SISTER'S GIRL.

SO, TO YOU, THAT
WOULD MAKE HER...

NOTHING?

REGARDLESS. THE FUNERAL'S ON
THURSDAY. I THOUGHT WE'D ALL GO TOGETHER.

OOH, WHOA, 2 PROBLEMS:

ONE, IMPOSSIBLE TO GET AWAY
FROM THE INN ON THURSDAY.

TWO, I'VE NEVER MET THIS WOMAN.

YOU MOST CERTAINLY HAVE. WHEN?

SEVERAL TIMES. I'LL TAKE ONE.

WE WENT TO HER HOUSE IN GROTON
TO SEE THE FIRST MOON LANDING.

SHE'D JUST GOTTEN A NEW PHILCO.

I HAVE NO MEMORY
OF THIS WHATSOEVER.

RORY, CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,

BUT MEN HAVE WALKED ON THE MOON

REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOUR
MOTHER REMEMBERS IT OR NOT.

THAT'S THE RUMOR.

I KNOW THAT MEN HAVE WALKED ON
THE MOON. I JUST DON'T KNOW CLAUDIA.

SO YOU'RE NOT
GOING? NOT THIS TIME.

I DON'T THINK CLAUDIA'S
PLANNING TO DIE A 2ND TIME.

MOM, I COULDN'T
GO IF I WANTED TO.

FINE.

OH, WAIT, RUDOLPH GOTTFRIED.

ANOTHER COUSIN?

NO, A NAZI THAT WE
KNEW. I'D FORGOTTEN.

WE STAYED WITH
HIM ONCE IN MUNICH.

NICE OLD MAN.
INTERESTING STORIES.

MOM, YOU... YOU SOCIALIZED
WITH A KNOWN NAZI?

THAT'S DESPICABLE.
THAT'S HEINOUS.

NO, DEAR, THAT WAS A JOKE.

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED IF YOU NEED ♪

♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED IF YOU NEED ♪

♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

♪ BLACK COAT, BLACK
SHOES, BLACK HAT, CADILLAC ♪

HI.

I HAVE AN IDEA FOR
A NEW REALITY SHOW.

HOW ABOUT EVERYONE
JUST LOOKS OUT

THEIR FREAKING KITCHEN
WINDOW FOR A CHANGE?

OOH, SHE'S CRANKY THIS MORNING.

LET'S JUST SAY THE WORLD'S
GOT A FORMIDABLE OPPONENT.

WAIT. SHOULDN'T YOU BE BAKING?

I DON'T KNOW. SHOULDN'T
YOU BE KNITTING?

MOM, THE CHILTON
BAKE SALE IS TODAY.

I KNOW. I GOT IT COVERED.

THEY EXPECT THE
THINGS TO BE HOMEMADE...

I KNOW.

BY SOMEONE OTHER
THAN DOLLY MADISON.

I SAID I HAVE IT COVERED.

ALL OF THE PARENTS PITCH IN,

SO THIS IS REALLY, REALLY
IMPORTANT. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

OH, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

IN THAT CASE, I DON'T
HAVE IT COVERED.

I HAVE IT COVERED.

GET YOUR STUFF, HIT
THE STEREO. WE'RE LATE.

THAT'S NOT ME.

♪

WHERE DOES YOUR
MOM THINK YOU ARE?

OH, UH, ON A PARK BENCH,

CONTEMPLATING THE
REUNIFICATION OF THE 2 KOREAS.

NOT HERE, SKANKING TO RANCID?

WOULDN'T BE INCLUDED.

SCHOOL.

BYE.

BYE.

WOW, CINNAMON, RIDING IN STYLE.

YEAH, MOREY MADE IT.

CINNAMON'S NOT WALKING
GOOD THESE DAYS,

BUT SHE STILL LIKES
HER PASSEGGIATAS.

THAT'S ITALIAN
FOR "A NICE WALK."

PASSEGGIATA.

OH, GOD, HE MAKES
IT SOUND SO SEXY.

OH, COME ON.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S CINNAMON'S PRIVATE AREA.

SOMETIMES SHE LIKES TO BE ALONE.

SHE'S JUST LIKE
MOREY IN THAT SENSE.

HEY, SAY "PASSEGGIATA" AGAIN.

I CAN'T DO IT ON COMMAND, BABS.

OH, HE'S BLUSHING.

GOD, I LOVE A MAN THAT BLUSHES.

OK, OUR TOWN IS JUST WEIRD.

THANK GOD.

BYE. BYE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER AT SCHOOL.

FOR WHAT?

MOM, THE BAKE SALE.

AAH, I GOT THE VEIN IN
THE FOREHEAD. WHOO!

SADIST.

HEY.

MORNING.

GOOD BOOK?

I DON'T KNOW YET.

I SAW YOU STANDING IN LINE,
SO I THOUGHT I'D SAY HELLO.

HELLO?

HELLO.

OH, HEY, UH, THANKS FOR HELPING
ME GET THE JOB AT THE STORE.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT... IT'S NOT A CAREER
OR ANYTHING, BUT IT'S GOT ME SOLVENT.

SOLVENT IS GOOD.

YEAH.

UH, ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS SERIOUS?

NO.

SO, UH, HOW LONG DOES IT
TAKE YOU TO GET TO SCHOOL?

UM, 40 MINUTES IF THE
BUS DRIVER'S FOCUSED,

BUT LONGER IF HE'S TRYING TO
WIN SOMETHING ON THE RADIO.

HEY, THIS BUS IS
GOING TO HARTFORD.

YEAH, I KNOW.

BUT YOU GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
YOU... YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE BUS.

HEY, HE HAS TO GET OFF THE BUS.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

UH, YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING.

BUSES MAKE STOPS.

GOODBYE, LORELAI GILMORE.

INDEPENDENCE INN,
MICHEL SPEAKING.

YES, YOU ARE CONFIRMED. MMM-HMM.

GOODBYE.

NO, SORRY.

SIR, I'M JUST A SIMPLE
COUNTRY BOY FROM TEXAS.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS FRANCAIS
BUSINESS YOU'RE BABBLING ABOUT.

PARDON.

HE KNOWS YOU ARE NOT FROM TEXAS.

SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT.

MICHEL, I TOLD YOU
THERE WAS GONNA

BE A FRENCH GROUP HERE
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS

AND IT'S YOUR JOB
TO KEEP THEM HAPPY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY FRENCH
PEOPLE YOU'VE MET OVER THE YEARS,

BUT MOST OF THEM
ARE INSUFFERABLE.

REALLY?

HMM, THAT IS WHY I LEFT FRANCE.

HUH?

I THOUGHT IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO

WITH THE TORCHES
AND THE VILLAGERS.

MICHEL, TALK TO THEM.

NEVER.

YOU ARE GIVING ME
THAT LOOK, AREN'T YOU?

YOUR PATENTED
"DO IT OR SOMETHING

UNSPEAKABLE SHALL
BEFALL YOU" LOOK.

FINE. I SHALL BE FRENCH,
BUT I SHALL NOT BE HAPPY.

THEN YOU WILL BE YOURSELF.

GOOD CHOICE.

KILL ME NOW.

OK, WE'VE GOT OUR
FRENCH FANTASIES,

AMERICAN TREATS,

AND OUR ITALIAN
TASTE SENSATIONS.

WELL, UH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

AMAZING. AH, INCREDIBLE.

IT IS GOOD, ISN'T IT?

WELL, FINAL TOUCH.

MMM.

OH, CAN I DO THAT?

OH, WHOA, WHOA!

WELL, HONEY, THIS IS A MORE DELICATE
PROCEDURE THAN YOU MIGHT THINK, OK?

OK.

IT TAKES AN EXPERT HAND.

HUH, OH!

UH!

HI!

HI.

OH! WELL, GEE,
WHAT-WHAT IS THAT, $1?

UH, LET ME JUST, UH, GIVE YOU...

LET ME FIND YOU $1.

UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL TAKE 2.

I... I'LL DRINK ONE.

MMM, TASTY AND FLAME-RETARDANT.

WELL?

VERY HENRY VIII.

OH, WE'RE NOT INTO SUBTLE.

GOOD TO SEE YOU, LORELAI.

OH, GOOD TO SEE YOU, MR. MEDINA.

MAX. MR. MEDINA.

MAX. MR. MEDINA,

MEET SOOKIE, THE
CHEF AT THE INN.

SOOKIE, MR. MEDINA.

WHAT'S THE NAME AGAIN?

MR. MEDINA.

I KNOW, YOU'VE SAID IT
A ZILLION TIMES. HELLO.

HELLO.

LORELAI, CAN I BORROW
YOU FOR A SECOND?

UH, YEAH, SURE.

HMM! OH!

HEY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

TRUST ME.

SO?

YOU KNOW, LORELAI, I WOULD
LOVE FOR THE ICE TO THAW.

THERE'S NO ICE.

WELL, YOU REPEATED MY
FULL NAME 4 TIMES. THAT'S ICE.

WELL, THAT'S NOT
ICE. IT'S WINTRY.

I WAS DOING MY JOB

WHEN I DIDN'T LET
RORY TAKE THAT TEST.

I DIDN'T LIKE IT,
BUT I HAD TO DO IT.

I KNOW. AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.

OK.

BUT I REALLY DO THINK
RORY'S A GREAT KID

AND I'LL DO MY
DAMNEDEST TO MAKE SURE

SHE GETS THROUGH
CHILTON IN ONE PIECE.

I APPRECIATE THAT.

AND I'D LIKE US TO BE FRIENDS.

WE... WE ARE. ME, TOO.

YEAH? YEAH.

REALLY, TRULY, I SWEAR.
THERE'S NO MORE ICE.

WE'RE WALKING IN A
POOL OF TEPID WATER.

GOOD. GOOD.

I'M GOING TO PROPOSE
SOMETHING HERE.

I'M NOT SURE HOW
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT.

OH, WOW, INTRIGUE.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU SOMETIME.

AWAY FROM THE IVY, AWAY
FROM THE GARGOYLES,

AWAY FROM HERE.

ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE?

YES. MMM.

WELL, UH, I DON'T WANT
TO GO OUT ON A LIMB HERE,

BUT I'M GUESSING
IF THE HEADMASTER

WON'T LET A KID BE 30
SECONDS LATE FOR A TEST,

HE'D PROBABLY FROWN ON
A TEACHER DATING A MOM.

I DO MY JOB WELL, I'M
DEDICATED TO MY STUDENTS

AND THERE'S NOTHING

IN THE CHILTON BOOK OF
ETHICS THAT PROHIBITS IT.

YEAH, BUT I'M GUESSING IT'S
SORT OF AN UNWRITTEN RULE.

DO YOU WANNA GO?

RORY WOULD PROBABLY
FREAK AT THE THOUGHT.

THE OTHER PARENTS WOULD HAVE
A FIELD DAY WITH THIS KIND OF THING.

DO YOU WANT TO GO? YES.

GOOD. WAIT.

WHAT? NO.

WHY? I CAN'T.

IT'S WRONG. IT'S
WEIRD. I'LL PAY.

YOU'RE ON.

REALLY?

I'M KIDDING. I DON'T KNOW.

YOU'RE RORY'S TEACHER.

I KNOW.

COULD YOU QUIT?

RIGHT, THAT'S CRAZY. I'M SORRY.

OK. OK. UM.

HOW ABOUT COFFEE?

YOU LIKE COFFEE?

ONLY WITH MY OXYGEN.

CAN WE DRINK SOME TOGETHER?

A SORT OF PRE-DATE.

VERY CASUAL, NO
STRINGS, NO OBLIGATIONS.

WE'LL JUST SEE IF IT'S EVEN
WORTH GOING DOWN THE ROAD

OF INCLUDING FOOD IN THE DEAL.

JUST COFFEE.

DECAF?

THERE'S NOTHING
SAFER THAN DECAF.

I'M GONNA BE IN TOWN TOMORROW

BECAUSE I TAKE A CLASS
AT HARTFORD STATE,

AND THERE'S A COFFEE
SHOP ACROSS THE STREET

THAT I SOMETIMES,
ALMOST ALL THE TIME,

GO TO AROUND 4:00 AND
USUALLY EXACTLY 4:12.

I COULD NOT STOP A
PERSON FROM ENTERING

SAID ESTABLISHMENT
AROUND THAT TIME,

NOR WOULD I AVOID THEM

IF I KNEW THEM, IF THEY DID.

YOU KNOW, THE WORDSMITH THING,

THAT'S SOMETHING
WE HAVE IN COMMON.

SO, SEE YOU AROUND, MAX.

INDEED. YOU WILL.

PHILADELPHIA.

PHILADELPHIA?

IF YOU COULD LIVE IN
ANY CITY IN THE WORLD,

YOU'D PICK PHILADELPHIA?

M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN LIVES THERE.

WHO?

THE GUY WHO DIRECTED
THE SIXTH SENSE.

BUT WHAT WOULD YOU DO THERE?

HANG OUT WITH M.
NIGHT SHYAMALAN.

OK, CROSS "GUIDANCE COUNSELOR"

OFF YOUR LIST OF
POTENTIAL CAREER CHOICES.

LIE STILL, BABY DOLL.
WE'RE ALMOST HOME.

HEY, BABBETTE.

HEY, KIDS.

WOW, THAT SOUNDS BAD.

CINNAMON'S
DYSPEPTIC. SO IS MOREY.

TOO MANY CLAMS.

BAD CLAMS.

THIS DOESN'T REFLECT
WELL ON AL'S ESTABLISHMENT.

YOU HAD CLAMS AT AL'S?

AL'S PANCAKE WORLD?

YEAH, WELL, WE HAD A COUPON.

HMM.

OH, WOW, THE STORE.

HEY, LISTEN, I HAVE TO
PICK UP SOME STUFF, SO...

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO PICK UP?

JUST SOME STUFF.

SO, I'LL TALK TO
YOU LATER TONIGHT.

I'LL GO IN WITH YOU.

WHY?

BECAUSE, OTHERWISE,
I'D HAVE TO GO HOME.

HOME IS GOOD.

MY HOME?

YEAH, ACTUALLY, I
DON'T HAVE TO GO IN.

OK, THEN I GUESS I WILL GO HOME.

GREAT. GO. BYE.

BYE.

FREAK.

RORY! HELLO.

TRY A PLUM. THEY'RE
BETTER THAN SEX.

UM, NO, THANKS.

FRESH FRUIT ALWAYS
HAS SUCH A, TCH,

A SENSUALITY ABOUT IT.

ARE YOU TOO YOUNG FOR THIS?

DEFINITELY.

WHAT ARE YOU HERE
FOR, HONEY? WHAT?

OH, WELL, I... I JUST...

OH, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR.

WELL, THAT WOULDN'T
FIT IN A BASKET.

NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

PATTY, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

HE'S JUST A, UH, A PERSON.

A PERSON?

A BOY-TYPE PERSON.

OH, MY FAVORITE KIND.

I REALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM.

OH, RIGHT. YOU...
YOU DON'T KNOW HIM?

I DON'T. YOU SAID.

PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

I PROMISE THAT I WON'T
TELL A SINGLE SOUL

THAT YOU DON'T
KNOW THAT YOUNG MAN.

THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

PLEASE, HONEY,
DON'T CALL ME MA'AM.

IT MAKES ME FEEL OLDER THAN 25.

HERE, HAVE A PEA POD.

I'M ASSUMING THAT YOU'RE
GONNA PAY FOR THE FOOD

THAT YOU'VE CONSUMED
ON THE PREMISES.

SO BRUSQUE.

AND YOU ARE?

I'M THE NEW ASSISTANT
MANAGER HERE.

OH, WELL, LISTEN
HERE, MY FINE FRIEND,

WHO, IF HE HAD A
BETTER HAIRSTYLE

I MIGHT CONSIDER DATING.

I DO ALL THIS ALL THE TIME.

NOT FROM NOW ON. I'M SORRY.

OH, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'VE BEEN SAMPLING FOOD

AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT FOR YEARS.

THE NEXT TIME YOU PUT SOMETHING IN
THAT MOUTH THAT DOESN'T BELONG THERE,

I'M GOING TO REMOVE IT
AND THEN CALL THE POLICE.

IS THIS ALL YOU WANT, HONEY?

A HEAD OF LETTUCE
AND A MOUSETRAP?

THAT SHOULD DO IT.

THAT'S A COUPLE OF
MUST-NEED ITEMS THERE.

$2.27.

I ONLY HAVE $1.

OH, I CAN LOAN YOU THE REST.

UH, NO, I'LL... I'LL JUST
TAKE THE LETTUCE.

PERFECT. UH, YOU COULD
USE HALF OF IT FOR A SALAD

AND USE THE OTHER HALF
TO CLOBBER THE MOUSE WITH.

PAPER OR PLASTIC?

I'M FINE.

LORELAI?

MAX. HI.

SMALL WORLD, HUH? ABSOLUTELY.

WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?

COFFEE. PLAIN COFFEE?

WELL, I WANTED SOME CREAM,

BUT THAT PROMPTED A VERY
ELABORATE FOAM CONVERSATION.

THE LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL
I GOT WHEN I SAID

I DIDN'T WANT FOAM, JUST CREAM

RIVALED THE ONE I GOT FROM MY DAD
WHEN I TOLD HIM I WANTED TO BE A TEACHER.

WOW, SO IT'S BEEN A TOUGH
OUTING FOR YOU, HUH?

WELL, IT'S GETTING BETTER.

WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

COFFEE, PLEASE.

SO, HERE WE ARE.

HERE WE MOST CERTAINLY ARE.

RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER.

AWAY FROM SCHOOL.

AND ITS UNIQUE STRICTURES.

THESE THINGS DO HAPPEN.

FATE CAN BE FUNNY.

SHOULD WE CUT THE CUTE
AND JUST GET RIGHT TO IT?

I THINK WE SHOULD DATE.

WHY?

BECAUSE I THINK WE BOTH WANT TO.

I WANT TO BE IN THE BANGLES.

BUT IT DOESN'T
MEAN I QUIT MY JOB

AND GET A GUITAR
AND RUIN MY LIFE

TO BE A BANGLE. DOES IT?

THE BANGLES BROKE UP.

YEAH, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

IT'S GOT TO BE PART OF THE POINT

IF THERE'S NO BAND ANYMORE.

I REPEAT MY QUESTION.
WHY SHOULD WE DATE?

BECAUSE WE'RE CLEARLY
ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER.

WELL, I'M ATTRACTED TO PIE.

IT DOESN'T MEAN I FEEL
THE NEED TO DATE PIE.

OK, THEN, BECAUSE WE ARE...

YES?

OF SIMILAR HEIGHTS. WOW.

ROUND 1 AND ALREADY TAPPED.

HEY, LOOK, I KNOW THAT
YOU ARE CONCERNED

ABOUT THE APPEARANCE
OF US DATING.

YES, I AM.

WELL, I CAN TELL YOU THAT
I'M THE SOUL OF DISCRETION

WHEN IT COMES TO
DELICATE RELATIONSHIPS.

DATED A LOT OF
CHILTON MOMS, HUH?

NO, I MEANT ANY RELATIONSHIP,

WORK, FAMILY.

OH, SO YOU HAVE THINGS TO
HIDE IN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE.

VERY INTERESTING.

DO YOU HAVE ANY HEMLOCK BACK
THERE? ARSENIC, SOMETHING QUICK.

DO YOU LIKE RAP MUSIC?

YEAH.

ME, TOO.

ITALIAN FOOD? YEAH.

ME, TOO.

YOU JUST TELLING ME
WHAT I WANT TO HEAR?

YEAH. I KNEW IT.

WELL, DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T
COINCIDE WITH HOW I REALLY FEEL.

IF YOU'RE TELLING ME
WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

THEN I'M NOT
GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

IF I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR,

IT SHOWS A LEVEL OF
UNDERSTANDING ON MY PART

THAT FAR EXCEEDS YOUR
UNDERSTANDING OF ME.

WHO'S THE ONE LAGGING?

UH!

WOW. ROUND 1 AND ALREADY TAPPED.

HMM!

RORY IS MY LIFE.

SHE'S MY PAL. MY EVERYTHING.

AND I WOULD NEVER EVER DO
ANYTHING THAT WOULD HURT HER.

I UNDERSTAND.

BUT RORY IS NOT A BABY ANYMORE.

OH, DON'T SAY THAT.
SHE'S 8! SHE'S 8,

AND HER FAVORITE HOBBY IS MAKING
NECKLACES OUT OF GUM WRAPPERS.

WELL, YOU COULD TRY STUNTING
HER GROWTH, KEEPING HER IN A BOX,

BLOWING CIGARETTE SMOKE ON HER.

OH!

YOU ARE SO TAKING
THIS OUT OF CONTEXT.

OK.

WHEN MY UNCLE WAS A YOUNG MAN,

THERE WAS THIS GIRL WHO LIVED
ACROSS THE STREET FROM HIM,

AND HE WAS COMPLETELY
IN LOVE WITH HER.

BUT HE NEVER TALKED TO HER.

AND HE KNEW IN HIS GUT
THAT THIS WAS THE GIRL

HE WANTED TO SPEND
THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH.

THIS IS GONNA BE SAD, ISN'T IT?

NO, LET ME FINISH.
OH, IT'S GONNA BE SAD.

SO, ANYHOW, MY UNCLE
WATCHES THIS GIRL

WAITING FOR THE RIGHT
MOMENT TO APPROACH HER.

NEXT THING HE KNOWS,
HE GETS DRAFTED.

I'M GOING FOR THE KLEENEX.

NO... NO... NO. NOW, HE
THINKS, "THIS IS PERFECT.

"I'LL COME BACK.

"I'LL HAVE A CAREER, I'LL
HAVE SERVED MY COUNTRY.

I'LL BE WORTHY OF HER LOVE."

WHEN HE GETS BACK, SHE'S GONE.

MOVED AWAY. NO ONE KNEW WHERE.

AND HE NEVER SAW
THAT GIRL AGAIN.

NOW, MY UNCLE, HE
DIDN'T SAY MUCH TO ME.

BUT THE ONE THING
THAT HE DID SAY

WAS THAT IF THERE'S
SOMETHING IN YOUR GUT

THAT YOU KNOW YOU FEEL IS RIGHT,

YOU GOT TO GO AFTER
IT, NO MATTER WHAT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

MAYBE DINNER

WOULDN'T BE SUCH A BAD IDEA.

OH, DINNER?

YOU MEAN WE COULD SIT
TOGETHER, EVEN DRIVE TOGETHER?

JUST TAKE THE CARD.

I MIGHT FRAME THE CARD.

JUST USE THE CARD.

I DEFINITELY WILL.

HEY.

WHAT?

THAT STORY ABOUT YOUR UNCLE,

IS THAT TRUE?

GOODBYE, LORELAI GILMORE.

OOH!

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

LIFE IS A FUNNY,
FUNNY THING, HUH?

YEAH, I LOVE THAT JIM CARREY.

WHAT?

JIM CARREY.

HE'S JUST... JUST FUNNY.

HE IS FUNNY.

BUT THEN I DON'T
MEAN FUNNY-FUNNY.

I'M BEING PHILOSOPHICAL.

OH.

VERY SERIOUS FACE.
JEAN PAUL SARTRE.

UH, I CAN'T TALK TO
YOU WITH THAT FACE.

HOW DO YOU GUYS
GET ANY WORK DONE?

SO WHY IS LIFE
SUCH A FUNNY THING?

I MET THIS AMAZING GUY.

GOODY!

THERE'S GOODY STUFF ABOUT IT,

BUT THERE'S BADDY STUFF,
TOO. HE'S A TEACHER AT CHILTON.

MAX. YOU MET HIM
AT THE BAKE SALE.

OH, HE LOOKED GOOD. YEAH. RIGHT.

HE'S SO SEXY AND
SMART, AND FUNNY,

AND HE LIKES COFFEE.

GOD, HE SOUNDS PERFECT FOR YOU.

DID YOU GET ONIONS? NO.

HEY, LUKE, YOU
FORGOT THE ONIONS.

I'M JUST SO MIXED UP THOUGH.

YOU KNOW THIS IS A REAL
CROSSROADS KIND OF SITUATION.

TO PERM OR NOT TO PERM.

I'M REALLY CONFUSED.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

GO AHEAD. I'M STILL LISTENING.

YOU WERE ABOUT, UH,
TO PERM YOUR HAIR.

I JUST WANT TO DO
THE RIGHT THING.

I'M NOT SURE I SEE
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

OH, THERE ARE MANY PROBLEMS.

I DO NOT LIKE TO INVOLVE
RORY IN MY PERSONAL LIFE.

I DON'T WANT HER TO
HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT.

YOU KNOW, I MIGHT BRING SOME GUY
HOME AND HE MIGHT NOT BE THE GUY,

BUT THEN SHE GETS
ALL ATTACHED TO HIM,

AND THEN ALL OF
A SUDDEN I DECIDE

THAT I DON'T LIKE
THE WAY HE EATS,

OR HE HUMS INCESSANTLY...

OR THE WAY HE SMACKS HIS LIPS,

OR HOW HIS HAIR
ISN'T REALLY HIS.

YEAH. AND THEN I
BREAK UP WITH HIM,

AND RORY IS THE
ONE WHO GETS HURT.

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

THIS GUY IS HER TEACHER. THERE'S
NO WAY TO KEEP HIM OUT OF HER LIFE.

SHE SEES HIM EVERY DAY.

ARE YOU THE OPEN-FACED TURKEY?

YEP.

OK. I ADDED A LITTLE FRESH LEMON
AND A LITTLE CAYENNE PEPPER.

YOU'RE GONNA PLOTZ.

YOU DO KNOW THAT RORY'S
NOT A BABY ANYMORE?

I KNOW, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

MAYBE I'M BEING
TOO SERIOUS, RIGHT?

MAYBE I SHOULD
LOOSEN THE RULES A BIT.

PLUS, IT WOULD BE
GREAT TO GET, YOU KNOW.

WHAT?

YOU KNOW.

NO, I DON'T.

YOU KNOW.

HE KNOWS.

YOU KNOW?

YEAH, I KNOW.

SOOKIE!

HEY, I WAS LOOKING
FOR YOUR PAPRIKA.

HEY, WHAT HAVE I SAID
ABOUT THE COUNTER?

I KNOW.

HOW THE COUNTER IS A SACRED
SPACE, MY SACRED SPACE.

YOU DON'T DO YOGA ON
THE DALAI LAMA'S MAT.

AND YOU DON'T COME
BEHIND MY COUNTER. PERIOD!

I WAS TRYING TO HELP!

YOU BRING HER AGAIN, I WANT
HER ON A LEASH! I MEAN IT.

HE DOES MAKE A DAMN
FINE BURGER THOUGH.

HE DOES AT THAT.

ALL RIGHT. I'M JUST
GONNA KEEP IT SIMPLE.

I'LL TELL RORY.

IF THERE'S EVEN AN OUNCE OF
WEIRDNESS ABOUT IT, I'LL CANCEL.

YOU HAVEN'T TOLD RORY YET?

NO. OOPS.

NO, NOT OOPS.

THE TIMING HASN'T BEEN RIGHT.

THIS IS A VERY DELICATE,
FRAGILE SITUATION.

IT'S LIKE YOUR SOUFFLES.

IF YOU DON'T DO IT
RIGHT, IT'S A DISASTER.

AND YOU HAVE TO ORDER
IT 45 MINUTES IN ADVANCE.

UH? MY SOUFFLE.

RIGHT. BUT I WASN'T SPEAKING
DIRECTLY ABOUT YOUR SOUFFLE.

I WAS SPEAKING METAPHORICALLY.

OH. SO YOU DON'T
LIKE MY SOUFFLES?

HOW DO WE WORK TOGETHER?

MOM, YOU BETTER COME.

HONEY, WHAT'S
WRONG? IT'S CINNAMON.

BABBETTE? HONEY?

OH, LORELAI, COME IN, COME IN.

SHE'S GONE.

CINNAMON'S GONE.

I'M SO SORRY.

IS THERE ANYTHING I
CAN DO FOR YOU, MOREY?

THIS IS LIFE, RORY. IT
BREAKS YOUR HEART.

SHE LOOKED LIKE
SHE WAS SLEEPING.

I THOUGHT SHE WAS ASLEEP,

SO I NUDGED HER
AND SHE DIDN'T WAKE.

I GAVE HER A PUSH AND
SHE ROLLED OFF THE COUCH,

AND SINCE I'D JUST
WAXED THE FLOOR,

SHE WENT SHOOTING
ACROSS THE ROOM.

AND THEN SHE
KNOCKED OVER THE LAMP

AND SHE STILL DIDN'T MOVE.

I KNEW IT WAS OVER.
OH, GOD, MY BABY.

TELL ME IT WASN'T THE...

OH, MOREY, DON'T
DO THIS TO YOURSELF.

HE THINKS IT WAS THE CLAMS.

SHE SAW ME EATING
THEM, AND SHE GAVE ME

THAT, "HEY, MAN,
WHAT'S UP?" LOOK, AND...

IT WASN'T THE CLAMS.

MOREY, IN HUMAN YEARS,
THIS CAT WAS 260 YEARS OLD.

THAT'S A GOOD LONG LIFE.

LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU LET
ME TAKE HER OUT TO THE VAN?

AND THEN I'LL GET
OUT OF YOUR WAY.

OH, NO, STAY.

ALL OF YOU, PLEASE STAY.

CINNAMON WOULD WANT YOU HERE.

WE'LL STAY AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

I'LL NEVER EAT CLAMS AGAIN.

ME EITHER.

THEY SAID THAT THEY
ROLLED HER BODY INTO A LAMP.

DID YOU LAUGH?

DID YOU WANT TO?

BUT IT'S SAD.

YEAH, IT'S SAD.

HELLO?

HELLO, WHERE IS LORELAI?

I'M DROPPING SOMETHING OFF.

YOO-HOO, HEE HAW MAN,
WHERE'S LORELAI GILMORE?

HEY. HEY-HEY-HEY!

THANK YOU. I COULD
NOT GET BACK TO THE INN.

HMM.

WHAT? YOU ARE HAVING A
PARTY, AND I WAS NOT INVITED?

SWEETIE, IT'S NOT A
PARTY. IT'S A WAKE.

OH, REALLY? WHO DIED?

THEIR CAT.

YOU ARE MOURNING A CAT?

YES.

THEY LICK THEIR
PRIVATES, THESE CATS.

NOT THE COMFORTING
CHIT-CHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

GOODBYE. I'LL TALK TO
YOU LATER. THANK YOU.

BABBETTE, MOREY, I
CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD.

OH, DARLING, WHAT DO YOU NEED?

A LITTLE AIR, HONEY.

OH-OH.

OH. LUKE.

SOOKIE.

WHAT YOU GOT IN THE BAG? BRICKS.

YEAH, GOOD ONE.

OH, BLESS YOU BOTH!

EVERYONE'S STARVED. COME IN.

OK, HOW SHOULD WE DO THIS?

WELL, WE'LL CREATE A FLOW THROUGH
THE ROOM TO AVOID BOTTLENECKS.

PEOPLE COMING IN THE FRONT DOOR,
THEY'RE GONNA WANT A BEVERAGE.

PUT THEM ON THE FIRST TABLE,

THEN THE SMALLER HORS
D'OEUVRES NEXT TO THAT,

LEAVING ONE HAND FREE
TO GREET THE PEOPLE.

THEN, BACK THERE, SET
UP PLATES AND CUTLERY.

FIRST THE SALADS, THEN THE MEAT,

THEN THE DESSERTS
ON THE PIANO BENCH.

HOW'S THAT SOUND?

DIG IN!

OH.

OH, HI. UH, WOW.

I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU.

OR ME YOU. I MEAN, YOU ME.

I MEAN, COME ON IN, YOU.

DO YOU KNOW HIM?

NO.

NO?

WELL, HE GOES TO MY OLD SCHOOL,

SO I SEE HIM THERE SOMETIMES,

BUT, UH, I GO TO CHILTON NOW.

THANKS FOR THE UPDATE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

HEY, UH, DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?

NO, I HAVE GUM.

NO, THANKS. UH, LOOK...

I HAVE TO GET BACK.

OH, OK, UM, SURE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

MOM?

HUH?

ISN'T THAT...

OH, NO!

THAT'S MR. MEDINA.

TONIGHT'S THURSDAY.

WELL, AM... AM I IN TROUBLE?

D-DID THE SCHOOL
CALL OR SOMETHING?

NO, NO, YOU'RE
GREAT. IT'S... I, UM...

LET ME JUST COME BACK
IN JUST ONE... ONE SECOND.

WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON?

LET ME TELL YOU IN A MINUTE.

TELL ME NOW.

MAX IS HERE, UH...

MAX?

IS HERE TO PICK ME UP.

PICK YOU UP FOR...

OH.

I'M GONNA TALK
TO HIM REAL QUICK,

AND... AND I'M GONNA
BE RIGHT BACK.

MMM.

HEY!

OH, HI.

I WAS KNOCKING, BUT
NO ONE ANSWERED.

I KNOW. I WAS AT THE
NEIGHBORS' HOUSE. UM...

MAX, I SHOULD HAVE
CALLED YOU SOONER, BUT...

YOU'RE CANCELING.

I... I KNOW IT'S
TOTALLY LAST-MINUTE.

I'M HEARTBROKEN.

I JUST COMPLETELY F-FORGOT
ABOUT OUR... OUR DATE.

AND FORGETTABLE.

NO, YOU'RE MEMORABLE.
I... I'VE BEEN, UH,

MEMORABLING YOU ALL... ALL WEEK.

IT'S JUST, WE HAD A
LITTLE EMERGENCY.

RORY? IS RORY OK?

NO, RORY'S FINE. IT'S
THE NEIGHBORS' CAT.

THE NEIGHBORS'...

CAT, SHE DIED.

SHE DIED.

THIS WAS A VERY FAT,
VERY... VERY BELOVED CAT.

HMM, I SEE.

LORELAI,

I LIKE YOU.

AND I DON'T WANT TO FORCE
SOMETHING ON YOU THAT YOU DON'T WANT.

SO...

NO. WAIT, WAIT. NO, WAIT.

NO, MAX, YOU'RE NOT
FORCING ANYTHING ON ME.

I AM TELLING THE
TRUTH ABOUT THE CAT.

LORELAI!

MAX, PLEASE DON'T READ
THAT MUCH INTO THIS.

CALL ME, AND WE'LL RESCHEDULE.

I... I PROMISE
THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

ARE YOU SURE?

CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE

THAT NO OTHER NEIGHBORHOOD
PETS DIE ON THAT DAY.

OK, I'LL CALL.

GOOD.

I'M SORRY ABOUT, UH...

CINNAMON.

CINNAMON.

YEAH.

STUPID CAT!

COULDN'T HAVE HELD
ON ONE MORE DAY?

IS THAT MEATLOAF?

YEAH.

YOU USE KETCHUP?

YOU GONNA MAKE FUN
OF MY MOTHER, TOO?

SORRY.

YOU KNOW, MY ROQUEFORT PUFFS
WOULD COMPLEMENT THAT DISH QUITE WELL.

IT'S FINE ON ITS OWN. THANK YOU.

RIGHT.

OK, TOSS SOME ON THE PLATE.

CAN... CAN I MAKE
A PRETTY DESIGN?

MAYBE... MAYBE MAKE SOME LAYERS?

SOOKIE!

RIGHT. TOSSING THEM ON. GOT IT.

HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN
RORY ANYWHERE?

YEAH, I THINK SHE
HEADED THAT WAY.

OK, THANKS.

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM?

OH, WELL, IF IT
ISN'T KIRK THE JERK.

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE

FOR WHAT HAPPENED
AT THE STORE YESTERDAY.

I'M LISTENING.

I WASN'T AWARE THAT
YOU WERE "THE" MISS PATTY.

THE OWNER TELLS ME YOU'RE
ONE OF OUR BEST CUSTOMERS,

AND THAT YOU CAN PUT ANYTHING
IN THAT MOUTH THAT YOU WANT TO.

THOSE WERE HIS WORDS. I... I
COULD HAVE PARAPHRASED THEM.

STOP SWEATING AND
CLOSE YOUR PORES, KIRKY.

I ALWAYS FORGIVE.

THANK YOU.

ONCE.

HEY, BABBETTE.

OH, HELLO, SUGAR.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?

NO, I'M FINE. I'M JUST...
I'M LOOKING FOR RORY.

OH, I THINK SHE MIGHT
BE IN THE BATHROOM.

THANKS.

CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING?

OH, NO.

I THOUGHT I'D JUST GET SOME
OF THIS STUFF PACKED AWAY.

WOW. IT'S LIKE A SCENE
FROM THE KITTY VERSION

OF VALLEY OF THE DOLLS.

YEAH, YOU NEVER REALIZE
HOW OLD THEY ACTUALLY ARE

TILL YOU LOOK IN
THE MEDICINE CABINET.

YEAH.

THESE WERE FOR HER HEARTWORMS.

FOR HER THYROID, HER KIDNEYS,

FOR THE RASH SHE
GOT FROM TAKING THESE,

AND THESE WERE FOR
THE TICS SHE DEVELOPED

FROM TAKING THE
STUFF FOR THE RASH.

AND THESE ARE... OH,
JEEZ, THESE ARE MINE.

DAMN. I'M GONNA
MISS THAT OLD BROAD.

I KNOW.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M GONNA DO WITH MYSELF NOW.

YOU LIVE TO TAKE
CARE OF YOUR KIDS.

I KNOW, SWEETIE, BUT YOU
GAVE HER EVERYTHING YOU HAD.

YEAH. SHE WAS SO
TINY WHEN I GOT HER,

SHE COULD SLEEP IN MY SHOE.

THE OTHER DAY, I... I CAME ACROSS
A HAT THAT I MADE FOR RORY.

IT WAS LIKE A DOLL HAT.

THEY GROW UP SO FAST.

AND THEN THEY TAKE YOUR CLOTHES.

I GUESS, EVENTUALLY,
YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON.

FIGURE OUT WHAT
YOUR LIFE IS GONNA BE

WHEN YOU'RE NOT BUSY
TAKING CARE OF SOMEBODY ELSE.

YEAH.

OH, JEEZ, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

NOT A CLEAN GLASS IN SIGHT.

LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.

OH, HERE, SUGAR, USE THIS.

MOREY SITS ON IT
WHEN HE HELPS ME.

WOW.

HOW DOES MOREY
GET AROUND IN HERE?

OH, JUST FINE.

HE HAD A COUPLE OF
CONCUSSIONS HIS FIRST YEAR HERE.

BUT HE NEVER COMPLAINS.

HE'S JUST THE BEST THING.

DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'D DO WITHOUT HIM.

OH, BABBETTE.

WHAT... WHAT DO YOU
MEAN "WITHOUT HIM"?

I SAW ON OPRAH A FEW WEEKS AGO,

SHE HAD ON COUPLES
WHO LOST A CHILD.

MOST OF THE MARRIAGES
WENT BELLY UP

FOR THE PAIN OF IT ALL.

EVEN THOUGH THEY
LOVED EACH OTHER.

BABBETTE, THAT IS NOT
GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU.

I NEVER THOUGHT A MAN
WOULD EVER EVEN WANT ME.

I KNOW THE FEELING.

OH, PLEASE WITH THAT
ASS? GIVE ME A BREAK.

I MEAN, WANT ME FOR
MORE THAN MY ASS.

ME. FOR ME. THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

ANNOYING NEUROSES AND ALL.

YOU'LL FIND HIM.

IT MIGHT EVEN BE THAT STUD

THAT DROVE OUT OF
HERE IN THAT MUSTANG.

DID YOU SEE HIM?

OH, YES. WHAT A JAW.

RIGHT. HE'S GOT A GREAT JAW.

HOW IS HE IN THE SACK?

I... I HAVEN'T GONE
OUT WITH HIM YET.

WILL YOU TELL ME HOW
HE IS WHEN YOU DO?

I'LL CALL YOU DURING
THE CIGARETTE.

♪ OW.

OH,

THAT'S CINNAMON'S SONG.

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

THANK YOU.

I CAN'T FIND RORY ANYWHERE.

I'M SURE SHE'S AROUND.

MAX SHOWED UP FOR THE DATE

THAT I FORGOT ABOUT,
AND SHE SAW HIM.

AND YOU HAVEN'T...
TOLD HER ABOUT IT. NO.

OOPS. STOP WITH THE OOPS.

OK, CALM DOWN. IT'S
NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

HER TEACHER SHOWED UP ON HER
PORCH TO TAKE OUT HER MOTHER.

SHE'LL UNDERSTAND. YOU'RE
CRAZY. SHE KNOWS THAT.

ENOUGH OF THE
COMFORTING, SOOKIE.

SORRY.

HEY.

JEEZ, YOU SCARED ME.

YEAH, UH, LOOK, I JUST
WANTED TO SAY THAT I'M SORRY.

FOR WHAT?

WELL, I'VE BEEN KIND
OF BUGGING YOU LATELY.

UH, I THOUGHT, I DON'T KNOW. I
THOUGHT YOU MAYBE LIKED ME,

BUT IT'S OBVIOUS THAT
YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED.

SO I JUST WANTED TO
SAY THAT, UH, THAT I GET IT.

AND, UM, I'M NOT GONNA
BOTHER YOU ANYMORE.

WAIT!

I AM INTERESTED.

♪ MADE ME THINK ABOUT YOU ♪

YOU ARE?

YES.

I GOTTA GO.

♪ TRULY, TRULY, TRULY ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ TRULY, TRULY, TRULY, I DO ♪

AH!

FINALLY. I'VE BEEN LOOKING
EVERYWHERE FOR YOU.

WELL, YOU FOUND ME.

LISTEN, I HAVE SOME
EXPLAINING TO DO.

SO SIT RIGHT DOWN IN
THAT TINY LITTLE CHAIR.

I'M GONNA DO IT RIGHT NOW.

THAT MAN ON THE PORCH
WAS YOUR TEACHER.

MOM, I'M A LITTLE
BEHIND IN SCHOOL,

BUT NOT SO BEHIND THAT I DON'T
KNOW WHO THE TEACHER IS. SO?

SO, UM,

HE... HE AND I WERE GOING TO
SORT OF HANG OUT TOGETHER.

ON A DATE.

NO. ON SOMETHING
THAT COULD APPEAR

LIKE A DATE TO
THE UNTRAINED EYE.

AND TO YOUR DAUGHTER'S
EYE? IT WAS A DATE.

HOW LONG HAVE
YOU BEEN DATING HIM?

I HAVEN'T. THIS WAS
GONNA BE THE FIRST TIME.

WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING
ME ABOUT THIS? ON YOUR WEDDING?

NO, BY THE REHEARSAL
DINNER AT LEAST.

HE'S MY TEACHER.

I KNOW.

HE TEACHES ME THINGS EVERY DAY

IN A VERY SMALL CLASSROOM
WITH A LOT OF OTHER KIDS

WHO PROBABLY WON'T BE HIGH-FIVING
ME WHEN THEY FIND THIS OUT.

I KNOW, SWEETIE.

AND I TOLD HIM THIS WAS ONE OF
THE THINGS I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT.

AND?

AND HE FELT WE COULD
BE DISCREET. UNBELIEVABLE!

ARE YOU MAD? YES.

RIGHT. BECAUSE I'M DATING HIM?

BECAUSE YOU LIED TO ME.

I KEPT INFORMATION FROM YOU.

INFORMATION THAT
I SHOULD HAVE HAD.

IT WOULD'VE COME OUT EVENTUALLY

LIKE THE IRAN-CONTRA SCANDAL.

SO YOU'RE OLIVER NORTH.

NO, I'M FAWN HALL.

MOM. SHE WAS MUCH PRETTIER.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THIS.

WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME?

'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING
TO TAKE IT BAD. THANK GOD I WAS WRONG.

OK, OK. LISTEN, I'M SORRY.

I WON'T DATE HIM. I PROMISE.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT
YOU CAN'T DATE HIM.

IT'S JUST... THIS IS WEIRD.

I MEAN, THERE ARE A
MILLION GUYS IN THIS WORLD,

AND YOU END UP WITH MR. MEDINA.

YOU THINK I DON'T GET
THE WEIRDNESS FACTOR?

BELIEVE ME, THE LAST
THING I INTENDED TO DO

WAS DATE YOUR TEACHER.

I BELIEVE YOU.

I REALLY LIKE HIM,
RORY. I CAN'T HELP IT.

AND IT'S BEEN A REALLY LONG
TIME SINCE I'VE FELT LIKE THIS.

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS CONTROL WHO
YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO, YOU KNOW.

I THINK THE ANGELINA JOLIE-BILLY BOB
THORNTON THING REALLY PROVES THAT.

AND I KNOW YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THIS NOW, BUT YOU WILL SOMEDAY.

YOU'LL MEET SOME GREAT GUY,

AND HE'LL MAKE
YOUR HEAD ALL FOGGY,

AND YOU WON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF.

OH, SWEETIE, I... I WON'T KEEP
ANYTHING FROM YOU AGAIN.

OK? I PROMISE. FROM NOW ON,

EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE
IS AN OPEN BOOK TO YOU.

IT'S OK.

REALLY. I-I'M NOT EVEN
GONNA GET DRESSED

UNTIL I TELL YOU WHAT
I'M THINKING OF WEARING.

FAIR ENOUGH.

OK. TOMORROW, I'M THINKING

THE PURPLE TIGER TOP,
THE BLACK LEATHER SKIRT,

THE PANDA-BEAR UNDERWEAR?

OH, GOOD.

BUT OF COURSE I'M TOTALLY
OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS.

GET SOME HELP.

LET US KNOW IF WE
CAN DO ANYTHING.

OH, YOU'VE DONE
TOO MUCH ALREADY.

OH.

GOOD NIGHT, BABBETTE.

GOOD NIGHT, SUGAR.

GOOD NIGHT, MOREY.

STAY COOL, RORY.

IT'S GETTING LATE.

LET'S STAY OUTSIDE AWHILE, BABY.

LOOK FOR THE BIG DIPPER.

OK, I'D LIKE THAT.

HELLO.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
GET YOU ALL AFTERNOON.

MOM? YES.

HI.

YOU ALREADY SAID THAT.

BUT SOMEONE HASN'T.

HELLO.

THERE WE GO.

YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO REACH.

THERE'S NO MESSAGES
ON THE MACHINE, MOM.

I DON'T LEAVE MESSAGES.

IF I WANTED TO
TALK TO A MACHINE,

I'D TALK TO MY V.C.R.
WHERE WERE YOU?

AT A WAKE. A WHAT?

A WAKE. A, UH, A FUNERAL.

A FUNERAL? WHOSE?

IT WAS FOR THE
NEIGHBORS', UH, CAT.

MOM?

HOLD ON. I'M LOOKING
UP "ANEURYSM"

IN OUR MEDICAL DICTIONARY
TO SEE IF I JUST HAD ONE.

I JUST WANTED TO BE HONEST
WITH YOU, MOM. SILLY ME.

A CAT?

YEAH, A CAT. IT WAS
A CAT'S FUNERAL.

YOU SKIPPED YOUR OWN COUSIN'S
FUNERAL FOR A CAT FUNERAL?

NOT MY COUSIN, MOM.

MY FATHER'S GRANDMOTHER'S
SISTER'S GIRL WHO I NEVER...

YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T
BE AWAY FROM THE INN.

I COULDN'T AT THE TIME,
BUT I WORKED IT OUT.

FOR A CAT.

IT'S LATE. I HAVE A BIG
DAY TOMORROW, MOM.

OH, WHAT? YOU'RE GOING
TO A RACCOON'S WEDDING?

GOOD NIGHT, MOTHER.

GOOD NIGHT.

SHE'S WORKING FOR A
SEDATIVE MANUFACTURER.

KEEPING THAT DEMAND SKY-HIGH.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HER.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO TELL AND WHAT TO HIDE.

YEAH.

SO, WE NEVER DID QUITE SETTLE

THE WHOLE
DATING-YOUR-TEACHER ISSUE.

I WON'T GO OUT WITH HIM
IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO.

YOU CAN GO OUT WITH
WHOEVER YOU WANT.

IT'S WHOEVER WE WANT.

WELL, I'M CERTAINLY NOT
GONNA GO OUT WITH HIM

'CAUSE THAT'D BE REALLY WEIRD.

BUT I MEAN IT. I WON'T SEE HIM

IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO.

HUMPH.

YOU KNOW, IF THERE'S
ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU

FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE,
BIG OR SMALL,

THEN HE'S OUT OF THERE.

GOOD TO KNOW.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S
NOT LIKE I'M DESPERATE.

I MEAN, THERE ARE PLENTY
OF OTHER GUYS OUT THERE.

SURE ARE.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE
TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION.

I MEAN, THIS IS A COURTESY.

OK.

UH, OK, SO I'M GONNA
BE UP FOR A WHILE

IF YOU WANT TO GET
BACK TO ME ON THIS.

I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

HEY, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD KEEP
HIM OUT LATE ON THURSDAY NIGHT?

I HAVE THIS ORAL EXAM ON FRIDAY

THAT I'D REALLY LOVE
HIM TO SLEEP THROUGH.

I'LL DO MY BEST.