Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Deer Hunters - full transcript
Rory is still playing "catch up" at a Chilton, and Max Medina gives her the first bad grade she has ever received; Rory yells at Paris and Tristin.
PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS:
OH, MY GOD, I'M
GOING TO CHILTON?
YOU DID IT, BABE. YOU GOT IN.
I TOLD MOM YOU'RE
CHANGING SCHOOLS.
IS SHE THRILLED?
THE PARTY'S ON FRIDAY.
ARE YOU MOVING?
NO, JUST MY BOOKS ARE.
READY? YES.
HEADMASTER
CHARLESTON WILL SEE YOU.
YOU MAY HAVE BEEN THE
SMARTEST GIRL AT STARS HOLLOW,
BUT THIS IS A DIFFERENT PLACE.
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH UP,
AND YOU'LL NEVER BEAT ME.
THERE'S A GOOD
CHANCE YOU WILL FAIL.
WHO'S THAT? NEW GIRL.
STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
I WILL MAKE THIS SCHOOL
A LIVING HELL FOR YOU.
SEE YOU TOMORROW, MARY.
THEY KEPT CALLING ME MARY.
MARY, LIKE VIRGIN MARY.
WHAT WOULD THEY CALL ME IF
THEY THOUGHT I LOOKED LIKE A SLUT?
THEY MIGHT HAVE ADDED
A "MAGDALENE" TO IT.
SHOPPING FOR SCHOOL
SUPPLIES. PARTY.
NOBODY DEMANDED THAT YOU COME.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
HOW OFTEN DO YOU
DO THINGS LIKE THIS?
I WAS THINKING WHILE
WE'RE GOING CRAZY,
WE SHOULD GET TOILET
PAPER AND A PLUNGER.
I'LL DO THIS LATER.
NO, I'M TEASING. COME ON,
GET THAT LIST OF YOURS.
OK.
I NEED LEGAL PADS...
GOT IT.
TONS OF PENS, RIGHT.
SOME NUMBER 2 PENCILS, 3
HIGHLIGHTERS, AN ERASER,
A STAPLE REMOVER, AND A FOLDER.
YOU NEED 3 HIGHLIGHTERS? YES.
3? YES.
THAT'S A VERY RANDOM NUMBER.
3 IS NOT A RANDOM NUMBER.
I MEAN, HOW DID YOU
GET TO THE NUMBER 3?
ONE DRIES UP, ONE GETS
LOST, I HAVE ONE LEFT.
YOU'VE REALLY THOUGHT
THIS OUT. YES, I HAVE.
WHAT CAME FIRST, THE
CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
CAN WE GET BACK TO THE LIST?
ALL RIGHT. OOH, HEY, LEGAL PADS.
NO. THOSE ARE PURPLE.
YES. PURPLE IS FESTIVE.
I CAN'T HAVE PURPLE.
YOU CAN. THEY'RE ON SALE.
I'M GOING TO A SERIOUS SCHOOL
NOW. I NEED SERIOUS PAPER.
PAPER IS PAPER. NOT AT CHILTON.
ALL RIGHT, FINE. HERE'S
YOUR SERIOUS PAPER.
THANK YOU.
OOH, AND HERE ARE YOUR SOMBER
HIGHLIGHTERS, YOUR MAUDLIN PENCILS,
YOUR MANIC-DEPRESSIVE PENS.
MOM.
NOW, THESE ERASERS ARE ON
LITHIUM. SO THEY MAY SEEM CHEERFUL,
BUT WE ACTUALLY CAUGHT THEM TRYING TO
SHOVE THEMSELVES IN THE PENCIL SHARPENER.
I'M GOING HOME NOW. NO, WAIT.
WE'RE... WE'RE GONNA STAGE AN
INTERVENTION WITH THE NEON POST-ITS
AND MAKE THEM GIVE UP
THEIR WACKY, CRAZY WAYS.
YOU'RE NEVER COMING
SHOPPING WITH ME AGAIN.
OH, HERE'S A CARD TRAY.
EVERYTHING IS GONNA...
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
DECENT EFFORT BY MOST.
GOOD EFFORT BY SOME.
EXCEPTIONAL EFFORT BY 2.
MS. GELLER. MS. GRANT.
MR. GRAHAM. MS. GILMORE.
TAKE THESE HOME.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
LOOK AT THE LARGE RED CIRCLES
AROUND VARIOUS PARTS OF YOUR PAPER
AS FRIENDLY REMINDERS
THAT TO ERR IS HUMAN.
AND THAT HERE AT CHILTON,
WE TRY TO BEAT THAT
HUMANITY RIGHT OUT OF YOU.
OK, NEXT UP, THE TEST.
THE DREADED TEST.
SHAKESPEARE!
THE MAN WE'VE BEEN DRONING
ON ABOUT FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS
FINALLY COMES BACK
TO HAUNT US ON FRIDAY.
THIS IS A BIG ONE, MY FRIENDS.
MULTIPLE-CHOICE,
WITH AN ESSAY SECTION
THAT WILL COUNT FOR 20 PERCENT
OF YOUR GRADE THIS SEMESTER.
DON'T BE FOOLED BY MY KIND
FACE AND CHARMING PERSONALITY.
THIS TEST WILL BE HARD,
AND THERE WILL BE NO MAKE-UPS.
REFER TO THE STUDY MATERIALS THAT I
GAVE YOU AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH,
AND THOSE EXTENSIVE NOTES
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN TAKING.
HARD PAPER.
KILLER.
HOW DID YOU DO? "A."
ME, TOO!
SMALL WORLD. ISN'T IT?
MADELINE, WHAT DID YOU GET?
YOU KNOW I GOT A "B."
A "B" IS NOT BAD. IT'S
RESPECTABLE EVEN.
NOT AT ALL.
I'D BE PROUD.
A "D," HOWEVER, THAT WOULD
BE CAUSE FOR CONCERN.
A CRY FOR HELP.
A JOB APPLICATION AT McDONALD'S.
"WOULD YOU LIKE
FRIES WITH THAT?"
HEY, YOU KNOW, NOT
EVERYBODY CAN BE SMART.
AS MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAYS,
"SOMEBODY HAS TO ANSWER THE PHONES."
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU
TWO ARE TALKING ABOUT.
NO, BUT RORY DOES.
HEY, MARY!
AND IT JUST KEEPS
GETTING BETTER.
YOU LOOK SAD. I'M FINE.
BAD GRADE?
I HAVE TO GO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MARY,
I JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT
WHY WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
I MAKE YOU NERVOUS.
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T LEARN MY NAME.
DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
IS THAT A NO?
IS THERE NO ONE
ELSE YOU CAN BOTHER?
I THINK YOU LIKE ME.
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SAY IT. OH, BOY.
SO WHAT ARE YOU
DOING FRIDAY NIGHT?
I'M BUSY.
WHAT, YOU GOTTA BE BACK
AT THE CONVENT BY 5:00?
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
ALL RIGHT. SINCE
YOU SAID "PLEASE."
LATER, MARY.
OH, YOU IMBECILE!
BACK OFF, CHEVALIER.
MMM, YOU'RE STUPID,
BLIND, AND CLUMSY.
AT LEAST I'M NOT FRENCH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
SHE RAN OVER MY SHOE.
HE GOT IN THE WAY.
YOU AIMED FOR ME.
OK, HOLD ON.
SHE SCRATCHED MY SHOES.
WHAT A BABY.
THESE ARE $300 ITALIAN LOAFERS.
I WONDER IF VERSACE
MAKES A PACIFIER.
YOU'RE FIRED.
EXCUSE ME? YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.
THEN I DOCK YOUR PAY. ALL RIGHT.
CAN I KILL HER?
NOT BEFORE HIGH TEA.
FINE. THEN I WILL CURSE YOU
CONSTANTLY AND IN SEVERAL LANGUAGES.
I'M GOING FOR THE OTHER FOOT.
OH, DON'T! DRELLA,
TO YOUR CORNER NOW.
I WIN.
MICHEL, YOU'RE A GROWN MAN.
NOW GO TO YOUR
DESK AND ACT LIKE ONE.
HMM.
OH, MY GOD.
SOOKIE, SOOKIE!
OK, OK, JUST A MINUTE.
I'VE GOT IT.
THE REVIEW?
IT'S HERE.
OOH, WHERE IS IT? I'M LOOKING.
HURRY.
OH.
BEHOLD, IN THEATERS NOW,
THE THING THAT READS A LOT.
CHOCOLATE?
GLASS MEASURING
CUP. LORELAI, LOOK.
I'M SORRY.
JEEZ, WHO'S NAKED?
UH, LUCIEN MILLS, FOOD CRITIC.
YEAH? HOW'S HIS BUTT?
NO, NO, HE WAS SUPPOSED
TO REVIEW THE RESTAURANT.
OH, HERE IT IS.
IS IT... IS IT GOOD? IS HE...
IS HE MEAN? SHOULD I CRY?
HERE WE GO.
"THE WORDS 'DIVINE, '
'DELECTABLE, ' AND 'DELIRIOUS'
"DON'T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE
THE DELICIOUS EXPERIENCE
OF DINING AT THE INDEPENDENCE
INN." I'M SMELLING RAVE.
REALLY?
"ONLY CHEF SOOKIE ST. JAMES
COULD MAKE A SIMPLE SALAD
"OF HOTHOUSE TOMATOES
AND ASSORTED FRESH HERBS
"SEEM LIKE A
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.
HER LOBSTER BISQUE IS WORTH
EVERY SINFUL, CREAM-FILLED, RICH SIP."
SEE, I DON'T USE
THAT MUCH CREAM.
I JUST USE A VERY
CONCENTRATED LOBSTER STOCK.
AND IT REALLY MAKES IT...
HE'S NOT HERE.
OK, GO ON.
"THE ENTREES ARE AS
HEAVENLY AS THE STARTERS.
"THOUGH THE MUCH-LAUDED
RISOTTO WAS PERFECTLY FINE,
"IT WAS THE HANDKERCHIEF PASTA
"WITH BROWN SAGE
IN A BUTTER SAUCE
THAT SENT ME THROUGH THE ROOF."
SOOKIE, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!
I'M GONNA HAVE THIS
FRAMED FOR THE DINING ROOM!
OH, YEAH, THAT'D BE SWELL.
CAN I SEE THAT AGAIN? YEAH.
SO WE SHOULD
CELEBRATE TONIGHT, HUH?
GIRLS ON THE TOWN?
I CAN'T. I HAVE TO STUDY.
YOU KNOW, I SHOULD REALLY GET
STARTED ON THE SHOPPING LIST.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
WE ARE YOUNG AND FIERY WOMEN.
STUDYING? SHOPPING LISTS?
WHERE'S "TO HELL WITH IT ALL"?
WHERE'S "THROWING
CAUTION TO THE WIND"?
WHERE... OH, SHOOT,
THE LINEN DELIVERY.
YOU GO, GIRL.
AND THE "PERSON OF
THE WEEK" SEGMENT.
NEWS IS ON!
ONE SEC.
FOR OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
A GRISLY, HORRIBLE THING
HAPPENED IN A SMALL TOWN
WHERE NO GRISLY, HORRIBLE
THINGS EVER HAPPEN.
EVERYONE'S SHOCKED!
HOUSE SLIDES DOWN HILL.
LIPOSUCTION KILLS. STAY FAT.
HEY, LET'S GET ICE
CREAM. I'M BORED.
HELLO?
MOM, I'M STUDYING.
YEAH, BUT I'M TALKING ICE
CREAM. CAN'T YOU TAKE A BREAK?
I CAN'T TAKE A BREAK RIGHT NOW.
OK. WHEN?
ARE YOU 4?
NO, I'M HUNGRY.
HAVE SOME MORE PIZZA.
IT'S COLD.
HEAT IT UP.
IT'S NOT THE SAME.
LORELAI, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
WOW, SMART GIRLS ARE MEAN.
IF YOU LET ME STUDY NOW, I'LL
PLAY WITH YOU THIS WEEKEND.
PROMISE?
YES. WE CAN DO
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
WILL YOU GO TO THE
SHOE SALE WITH ME? YES.
WILL YOU LET ME TRY
ON ANYTHING I WANT? YES.
WILL YOU HELP ME PUSH OTHER
PEOPLE AWAY IF THEY GO FOR MY SIZE?
I'LL EVEN RUN
INTERFERENCE FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT A DEAL.
GOOD.
SO, I'M SORRY...
WHERE DID WE LAND ON
THE WHOLE ICE CREAM ISSUE?
WHAT?
LANE?
RORY?
RIGHT OR LEFT?
LEFT.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID LEFT.
SORRY. MY LEFT, YOUR RIGHT.
OK.
MARCO.
POLO.
MARCO.
POLO.
HEY, MARCO.
HEY, POLO.
YOU'RE LATE.
SORRY.
WHAT IS THAT?
12 CALORIES.
HERE.
OH, MY GOD. BLESS YOU.
MAN, WHAT'S THAT?
MY NOTES.
REALLY?
I DON'T THINK SHAKESPEARE
KNEW HIMSELF THIS WELL.
OOH, I LIKE. HOW MUCH?
$500.
IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?
$450.
I'M NOT SO SURE.
$375 AND YOU TAKE IT RIGHT NOW.
SOLD.
WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS.
MOVE.
I REALLY MISS STARS HOLLOW HIGH.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
NO. CHILTON'S JUST...
I DON'T KNOW, HARD.
WHAT DO YOU CARE?
YOU WERE ALWAYS
MISS EVERYTHING'S-SO-EASY-
AT-SCHOOL.
THIS SHOULD BE A SNAP FOR YOU.
NOPE. THIS IS SOLD. MOVE.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, THAT'S MINE.
THAT IS CHOCOLATE-COVERED DEATH.
WITH A CREAMY CARAMEL SURPRISE.
HELLO.
UH, SO, THIS GUY ASKED
ABOUT YOU TODAY.
WHAT GUY?
THE NEW KID. TALL, PERFECT.
WHAT DID HE WANT TO KNOW?
WHERE YOU WERE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I TOLD HIM YOU WERE
TOO SMART FOR US,
AND YOU HAD TO GO
TO THE GENIUS SCHOOL.
OH.
HE REALLY LIKED THAT.
I GUESS HE'S INTO BRAINY CHICKS.
I'LL KEEP MY EYES
OPEN FOR ONE FOR HIM.
NO. SOLD. MOM.
MOVE.
WHERE DO YOU WANT US TO GO?
LIBRARY.
I HATE SALES.
NO BLACK SABBATH.
NO ONE'S LISTENING.
NO BLACK SABBATH, NO STEELY
DAN, NO BOSTON, AND NO QUEEN.
WHAT HAPPENED TO
MAKE YOU SO COLD?
YOU LIKE THAT MOZART.
I AM THE ARTIE SHAW OF HARPISTS.
SOOKIE, I NEED COFFEE TO GO.
THERE'S FRESH OVER THERE.
OOH, GOOD.
FRESH IN MY FIRST
LIFETIME AS JOAN OF ARC.
OH, SORRY.
I THOUGHT I MADE FRESH. HERE.
BLESS YOU. I'M SO EXHAUSTED, AND I
HAVE TO DRIVE TO HARTFORD TONIGHT
TO GO TO A
PARENT-TEACHER MEETING.
SOUNDS GREAT.
YEAH, THIS SCHOOL IS SO
DIFFERENT FROM STARS HOLLOW.
THEY SEND HOME A THOUSAND
PAGES OF UPDATES EVERY WEEK.
IT'S A VERY INTENSE PLACE.
UH-HUH.
LAST WEEK, THERE
WAS THIS HUGE DEBATE
OVER WHETHER PLAID SCRUNCHIES
WERE ACCEPTABLE HEADWEAR.
PEOPLE TOOK SIDES.
THINGS GOT UGLY.
THE SCRUNCHY
MOTION FINALLY PASSED
AND I LIKE TO THINK I
WAS THE TIEBREAKER.
THAT'S NICE.
HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER, SWEETIE?
HE SAID IT WAS FINE.
WHO SAID IT WAS FINE?
LUCIEN MILLS.
THE RESTAURANT CRITIC?
HE SAID MY RISOTTO WAS FINE.
WELL, ISN'T IT?
NO, IT'S NOT FINE.
FINE IS A WORD YOU USE WHEN
SOMEONE STOPS YOU ON THE STREET
THAT YOU KNOW, BUT YOU
DON'T WANT TO TALK TO.
THEY ASK YOU HOW YOU
ARE, AND YOU SAY, "FINE."
THAT'S ENOUGH SO
THEY DON'T HAVE TO
KEEP TALKING TO YOU,
'CAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO.
THEN THEY CAN FEEL
GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES
BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN
CONSIDERATE ENOUGH TO ASK,
AND IF, GOD FORBID,
SOMETHING ACTUALLY IS WRONG,
THEY'LL SIT DOWN, TAKE TIME AND
LISTEN, EVEN IF THEY DON'T WANT TO.
SWEETIE, I DON'T THINK HE MEANT
FINE AS A SLAM OR AS A MONOLOGUE.
HE COULDN'T HAVE
MEANT IT ANY OTHER WAY.
SOOKIE, I HATE TO SEE YOU GET
SO UPSET OVER ONE LITTLE REVIEW.
THIS IS PRIDE, LORELAI.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS RISOTTO.
ON MY MOTHER'S DEATHBED...
YOU MADE THE RISOTTO
AND SHE LIVED 3 MORE YEARS.
SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.
THE DOCTOR SAID SHE WOULDN'T
MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT.
AND SHE LIVED BECAUSE OF
THE RISOTTO, THE MAGIC RISOTTO.
AND THIS GUY HAD THE
NERVE TO SAY IT WAS FINE.
I DON'T THINK HE KNEW THE STORY.
OK. NOW, BEFORE YOU GET ALL GOOFY
ON ME, I DON'T HAVE YOUR PORCINIS.
I FORGOT THEM.
I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER EXCUSE,
OTHER THAN PLAIN, OLD,
STUPID HUMAN ERROR.
AND I HAVE THE MORELS,
WHICH I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT,
SO COME ON, LET ME HAVE IT.
MORELS ARE FINE.
DID ANYONE ELSE FEEL THE SHIFT
IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM?
A REVIEWER DIDN'T
LIKE THE RISOTTO.
THE MAGIC RISOTTO?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
WELL, I GOTTA GO.
SO TRY AND CHEER
HER UP, WOULD YOU?
OH, SURE.
SWEETIE, PLEASE
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE THE BEST.
SO...
I HEAR THE HUCKLEBERRY CROP'S
GONNA TOTALLY SUCK THIS YEAR.
WE ARE GONNA BE FOCUSING
ON ELIZABETHAN LITERATURE.
SHAKESPEARE, MARLOWE, BACON,
BEN JONSON, JOHN WEBSTER.
YEAH, IS MARLOWE
REALLY THAT SIGNIFICANT?
WELL, WE WANT TO GIVE AS
COMPLETE AN OVERVIEW AS POSSIBLE.
YES, BUT WILL HE BE INCLUDED ON
THE ADVANCED PLACEMENT TEST?
WE CAN'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT WILL BE ON THE A.P. TEST,
BUT IT WILL BE IMPORTANT
FOR FUTURE STUDIES
WHEN YOUR KIDS HIT
THEIR UNIVERSITIES.
BUT TO GET THERE THEY
NEED TO PASS THE A.P. TEST.
RIGHT, IT'S ALL IMPORTANT.
IT COULD ALL BE ON THE TEST.
HOW DO WE FIND OUT?
YOU COULD BRIBE SOMEBODY
ON THE A.P. COMMITTEE.
I WAS KIDDING. UH, JUST KIDDING.
I... I'M SO SORRY.
I HAD A TERRIBLE
POTHOLE INCIDENT.
YOU DON'T CARE.
SO PLEASE, GO ON.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
YOU OK? UH-HUH.
I'LL JUST SIT NOW.
I DON'T THINK
WE'VE... WE'VE MET.
OH, I'M, UH, LORELAI
GILMORE. RORY'S MOM.
GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US.
RORY'S ONE OF OUR NEW STUDENTS.
HOW NICE. NOW, THE A.P. TEST.
RIGHT. WELL, WE ARE
PREPARING THEM AS BEST WE CAN.
I'VE HIRED A TUTOR FOR BETHANY.
ALWAYS A VALID OPTION.
MMM.
JESUS, MARY, JOSEPH,
AND THE CAMEL!
THIS IS REALLY BAD COFFEE.
SO, AHEM, THIS A.P. TEST, WHAT
ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT IT, HUH?
WELL, THE NEXT TEST IS
SCHEDULED FOR NEXT MONTH.
UM, THE 25TH,
SATURDAY, AT 7:00 A.M.
MS. GILMORE?
UH, WHERE... WHERE IS THE TEST?
IT WILL BE GIVEN HERE.
HERE?
RIGHT.
GREAT.
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
UM, YEAH.
UM, CAN PARENTS COME?
WHAT?
YEAH, IT'S A BIG, EXCITING TEST.
SO I JUST THOUGHT... I'M
SORRY. IS THAT STUPID?
OH, NO, NO, IT'S NOT STUPID.
I JUST THOUGHT I'D LIKE
TO SEE THE EXCITEMENT.
IT'S A TEST.
YEAH, I KNOW.
WHAT'S EXCITING ABOUT A TEST?
DO YOU PLAY GOLF?
YES, I DO.
YOU EXPLAIN YOURS,
I'LL EXPLAIN MINE.
OK, WHY NOT GET
BACK TO THE MEETING?
THAT'S THE ONE WHO
VOTED FOR THE SCRUNCHIES.
MUST BE A SCHOLARSHIP STUDENT.
UM, EXCUSE ME.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THIS
WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR A BREAK.
THERE'S COFFEE IN THE BACK.
WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO? HIT HER?
NO. I JUST... I HAD SOME GOOD
VERBAL COMEBACKS READY.
HMM.
IT... IT JUST KEEPS
GETTING WORSE.
WELL, YOU KNOW, NOT
DRINKING IT IS ALWAYS AN OPTION.
NOT IN MY WORLD.
I'M MAX MEDINA.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE BEHAVIOR
OF SOME OF OUR GUESTS TONIGHT.
IT'S A TENSE TIME
FOR SOME PEOPLE.
THE S.A.T. SEASON?
THE WAKING HOURS.
HEY, ARE YOU THIS
NICE TO MY KID?
YEAH, IT'S EASY.
RORY'S A SWEET GIRL.
YEAH, SHE IS, SHE IS.
HOW IS SHE LIKING CHILTON?
OH, SHE LOVES IT.
REALLY?
OH, YEAH. I MEAN, IT'S AN
ADJUSTMENT, OF COURSE.
BUT SHE'S ALWAYS
WANTED TO GO TO HARVARD.
THIS IS HOW SHE'LL GET THERE.
HARVARD? YEAH.
EVER SINCE SHE COULD CRAWL, I'VE
REALLY WANTED HER TO GO THERE.
OH, IT'S A GREAT SCHOOL.
I ACTUALLY BOUGHT HER A HARVARD
SWEATSHIRT WHEN SHE WAS 4.
OF COURSE, IT WAS
WAY TOO BIG FOR HER.
SO SHE USED IT AS A
BLANKET FOR A WHILE,
AND THEN AS A MAKESHIFT DIAPER ON
THIS REALLY ILL-FATED SHOPPING TRIP.
AND NOW I'VE TOLD YOU A STORY
THAT WOULD SO MORTIFY HER,
SHE'LL KILL ME WHEN
SHE FINDS OUT YOU KNOW.
DON'T TELL HER THEN.
IT'LL BE OUR SECRET.
WHY, I APPRECIATE THAT.
SO, ARE YOU A B-52's GIRL?
WHAT?
NO, I'M A KLUTZ GIRL
WHO SHOULD NOT DRIVE
WITH COFFEE IN HER HAND.
I, UM, HAD THIS IN THE CAR.
YOU KNOW, I HOPE RORY
ADJUSTS TO THIS PLACE.
WE NEED HER HERE.
THANK YOU. THAT'S SO NICE.
I HOPE SHE'S NOT TOO
DISAPPOINTED ABOUT HER PAPER.
IT'S VERY HARD TO CATCH UP
ON ALL THAT READING MATERIAL.
I KNOW A "D" SEEMS
PRETTY DISMAL...
RORY GOT A "D"?
YEAH, BUT... SHE'S
NEVER GOTTEN A "D."
IT'S THE FIRST PAPER
SHE'S HAD TO TURN IN.
SHE'S BOUND TO FALTER A LITTLE.
OH MAN, THIS TOTALLY EXPLAINS
THE NO ICE CREAM THING.
GOD, I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.
THE ICE CREAM THING?
LOOK, I... I... I'VE GOTTA GO.
WELL, I'M SORRY IF I SAID
SOMETHING TO OFFEND YOU.
OH, NO, NO, NO. IF RORY GOT A "D,"
SHE'S NOT FEELING TOO GOOD RIGHT NOW.
AND I'D REALLY LIKE TO BE THERE.
I UNDERSTAND.
SO, IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
YOU, TOO.
UM, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
I WILL.
DON'T EVER MAKE
COFFEE EVER AGAIN.
I WON'T, I PROMISE.
OH.
OH.
THANKS. AHEM.
BYE.
BYE.
HERE. WHAT'S THAT?
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU NEED PIE. I DO?
VIOLENT PENCIL-TOSSING
USUALLY SIGNALS A NEED FOR PIE.
WHAT IF I'D THROWN A PEN?
I WOULD'VE BROUGHT
YOU A TROUT. WHAT?
I DON'T MAKE THE RULES,
I JUST CARRY THEM OUT.
HEY, BACKWARDS BASEBALL HAT.
NEW LOOK FOR YOU.
SHE'S EATING PIE? DID
SHE EVEN HAVE DINNER?
YOU RAISED HER. I JUST SERVE.
OH, HELLO, BOOKWORM.
FINALLY.
WHERE WERE YOU?
WELL, UM, ACTUALLY,
I WAS IN HARTFORD.
WHY?
I WAS THERE FOR THE...
PARENT-TEACHER MEETING.
OH, MY GOD, YEAH.
I FORGOT.
IT WENT VERY WELL.
I WAS EXTREMELY CHARMING.
I WON THE WHOLE CROWD
OVER. THEY MADE ME QUEEN.
HMM.
SO, I GUESS YOU
TALKED TO MR. MEDINA.
MMM-HMM.
WHY DID YOU LET ME WHINE
ABOUT ICE CREAM AND SHOE SALES
WHEN YOU HAD SOMETHING
MAJOR GOING ON?
I KNOW.
I HATE WHEN I'M AN
IDIOT AND DON'T KNOW IT.
I LIKE TO BE AWARE OF MY IDIOCY.
TO REALLY REVEL
IN IT, TAKE PICTURES.
I FELL WE'VE MISSED A PRIME
CHRISTMAS-CARD OPPORTUNITY.
I'M SORRY.
YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.
I COULDN'T.
YOU COULDN'T TELL ME?
YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING.
IT WAS TOO HUMILIATING.
OH, HONEY, YOU ONCE TOLD ME
THAT YOU LOVED SAVED BY THE BELL.
WHAT COULD BE MORE
HUMILIATING THAN THAT?
I COULDN'T FORM THE WORDS.
I COULDN'T EVEN SAY IT.
I COULDN'T EVEN COMPREHEND IT.
IT WAS A "D." I... I GOT A "D."
I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A "D." EVER.
I KNOW.
EVEN WHEN I BROKE MY ARM AND
I COULDN'T WRITE FOR A MONTH,
I STILL GOT AN "A" MINUS.
THAT WAS A DIFFERENT SCHOOL.
I KNOW. IT WAS
STARS HOLLOW HIGH.
A "D" AT STARS HOLLOW
IS LIKE AN "F" AT CHILTON.
IT'S WORSE. IT'S
LIKE A "G" OR A "W."
SO I'M GUESSING THE SPELLING
TEST DIDN'T GO WELL EITHER?
A "D."
I SUCK.
YOU DON'T SUCK.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
LISTEN, A "D" IS BAD, OK?
BUT THIS TALK ABOUT "I SUCK,"
"I CAN'T DO THIS," AND SELF-PITY,
THAT'S WORSE. THAT'S NOT YOU.
YOU DIDN'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF
WHEN IT TOOK YOU 3 MONTHS TO LEARN
HOW TO RIDE A BIKE. AND YOU WON'T NOW.
4 MONTHS. HUH?
IT TOOK ME 4 MONTHS TO
LEARN HOW TO RIDE A BIKE.
REALLY? 4 MONTHS?
YEAH. YOU WANNA BELABOR
THE CONVERSATION?
ALL RIGHT. FORGET
ABOUT THE BIKE.
LISTEN, A "D" IS ONE GRADE.
IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
YOU'LL CATCH UP,
YOU'LL DO BETTER.
YOU ARE OF HARDY,
STUBBORN STOCK, MY DEAR.
IF THERE'S ONE THING I GAVE
YOU, IT'S MY STUBBORNNESS.
I'M NOT STUBBORN. YES, YOU ARE.
NO, I'M NOT. FINE. YOU'RE NOT.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
YOU CAN DO THIS,
AND I'LL HELP YOU.
I'LL GET YOU THROUGH THIS.
NOW PUT THE "D" BEHIND YOU.
WHAT'S NEXT?
I HAVE A TEST ON FRIDAY.
OOH, A TEST. GREAT!
ON SHAKESPEARE.
THE BARD WITH A BEARD. LOVE IT.
IT'S 20 PERCENT OF MY GRADE.
JUST MAKES LIFE INTERESTING.
NOW WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO
TO GET YOU AN "A" ON THAT TEST?
DO YOU REALLY
THINK I CAN DO THIS?
I BET YOU $1.
THAT'S IT? THAT'S ALL
MY FUTURE'S WORTH, $1?
WELL, YOU DID GET A "D."
"LET ME NOT TO THE MARRIAGE
OF TRUE MINDS ADMIT IMPEDIMENTS
"LOVE IS NOT LOVE WHICH
ALTERS WHEN IT ALTERATION FINDS
"OR BENDS WITH THE
REMOVER TO REMOVE
"O, NO! IT IS AN EVER-FIXED MARK
"THAT LOOKS ON TEMPESTS
AND IS NEVER SHAKEN
"IT IS THE STAR TO
EVERY WANDERING BARK
WHOSE WORTH'S UNKNOWN
ALTHOUGH HIS HEIGHT BE TAKEN"
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
HEY, SOOKIE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THE MENU'S GONNA BE... MMM-HMM...
GOOD? HOT.
WAIT. I GOT ANOTHER ONE.
MMM.
BETTER? HOTTER.
WAIT. I GOT ONE MORE. ONE MORE.
MMM, SOOKIE,
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE RISOTTO?
HAVE WE GONE THEME NOW?
OOH, IS IT GONNA BE LIKE
THE SCOTCH TAPE STORE?
LOOK, I'VE MADE
40 RECIPES, OK? 40.
AND EVERY SINGLE TIME, I COME
BACK TO THE SAME CONCLUSION.
THAT YOURS IS BETTER.
YES. IT IS.
YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME?
YES! GREAT.
3 WEEKS AGO, A GUY
COMES IN HERE, LUCIEN MILLS,
ORDERS THE RISOTTO,
DOESN'T LIKE IT.
THE MAGIC RISOTTO?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
NOT HELPING.
HE'S A RESTAURANT CRITIC.
HE ORDERED LOTS OF THINGS,
PROBABLY DIDN'T FINISH THEM.
NOW, IN HIS REVIEW, HE SAID
HIS WAITER HAD A GOATEE.
YOU'VE GOT A GOATEE, SO YOU
WAITED ON HIM, AND I NEED INFO.
WELL, WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?
LIKE HE WAS UNHAPPY
WITH THE RISOTTO!
MAYBE HE HAD AN
ANNOYING TABLE COMPANION
THAT WOULDN'T LET HIM
CONCENTRATE ON HIS EATING.
I SERVE A LOT OF PEOPLE.
HE HAD A BEARD,
FALSE TEETH, OR A WIG,
OR THE GLASSES
WITH THE BIG NOSE.
MAY I BE FIRED NOW?
ABSOLUTELY.
WHAT ABOUT A GUY WITH AN
ANNOYING COMPANION AND A FAKE WIG
WHO WAS SITTING UNDERNEATH
AN AIR-CONDITIONING VENT,
NEXT TO A WOMAN WITH
TOO MUCH PERFUME ON?
THE COMEDY OF ERRORS: WRITTEN?
1590.
PUBLISHED?
1698.
OOH, 1623. CLOSE.
HOW IS 1623 CLOSE?
YOU GOT THE 16 PART RIGHT.
I WAS OFF BY 75 YEARS.
ANYTHING UNDER 100 IS CLOSE.
WHAT KIND OF A RULE IS THAT?
I'M RUNNING THE
STUDY SESSION HERE.
OK. RICHARD III.
1591.
'93?
'96?
OK, THAT'S GETTING
REALLY ANNOYING NOW.
GO ON. I'M LISTENING.
THE SONNETS ARE
154 POEMS OF 14 LINES.
EXCEPT?
EXCEPT FOR 126,
WHICH IS 12 LINES.
GOOD.
THEY'RE WRITTEN IN
IAMBIC PENTAMETER.
HMM.
EXCEPT?
EXCEPT FOR 145,
WHICH IS IN TETRAMETER.
ROCK ON, SISTER. REALLY?
NOT ONE MISTAKE. WOW.
HOW DO YOU FEEL? NAUSEOUS.
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T THINK THE
FRIES AND THE HORSERADISH SAUCE
WAS THE BEST IDEA WE EVER HAD.
IT WAS SATISFYING IN
THE MOMENT, THOUGH.
HMM, YOU'RE GONNA BLOW
THAT CLASS AWAY TOMORROW.
YOU THINK? I THINK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE CALL IT A NIGHT
AND GET SOME BEAUTY SLEEP?
YOU GO. I WANNA REVIEW
MY NOTES ONE MORE TIME.
OH, THAT'S OK. I'LL STAY UP.
MOM, GO TO SLEEP.
NO. I'M NOT EVEN TIRED.
I WAS JUST THINKING OF YOU.
♪ GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW ♪
♪ MY DARLIN' ♪
♪ BETTER KEEP ALL
THE BAD DREAMS AWAY ♪
♪ BREATHE NOW ♪
♪ THINK SWEET THINGS ♪
♪ AND I'LL THINK OF ALL
THE RIGHT WORDS TO SAY ♪
♪ BECAUSE WHO MADE YOU ♪
♪ MY DARLIN'? ♪
♪ WITH THE LOVE IN
EACH OF OUR HEARTS ♪
NO!
OH, NO!
OH, JEEZ.
THIS WAS SUCH A
BAD SLEEPING IDEA.
I'M LATE!
WHAT?
I'M LATE, I'M LATE!
I WOKE UP LATE!
ALRIGHT, CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T CALM DOWN!
I MISSED MY BUS! GET UP!
SWEETIE, MOMMY
CAN'T GET UP RIGHT NOW.
MOMMY'S BEEN SLEEPING
AT A RIGHT ANGLE ALL NIGHT.
I'M GONNA MISS THE TEST!
NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
I'LL GET THE KEYS.
WE'LL GO RIGHT NOW.
LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
I CAN'T TAKE YOU.
YOU HAVE TO!
I HAVE A MEETING
AT THE INN AT 8:00!
MOM!
OK, WAIT. THINK.
LISTEN. HERE. YOU DRIVE.
WHAT?
YOU DRIVE. I'LL GET
A RIDE FROM SOOKIE.
TAKE THE PHONE.
TAKE THE KEYS. GO!
ARE YOU SURE? GO, GO, GO, GO!
I'M GONE!
GOOD LUCK!
HELLO?
DID I LEAVE A SET OF MY NOTES
AT YOUR HOUSE YESTERDAY?
WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M DRIVING TO SCHOOL.
I... I NEED TO CHECK SOMETHING
AND I CAN'T FIND SOME OF MY NOTES.
OK, HOLD ON. LET ME CHECK.
♪
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.
WHAT DID I DO WITH THEM?
MAYBE IT'S DOWNSTAIRS
IN THE STORE?
MAYBE. I JUST...
OH, MY GOD!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I JUST GOT HIT BY A DEER!
YOU HIT A DEER?
NO! I GOT HIT BY A DEER.
HOW... HOW DO YOU
GET HIT BY A DEER?
I WAS AT A STOP
SIGN, AND HE HIT ME!
OH, MY GOD!
WAS IT A 4-WAY STOP?
WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO ASK
AFTER YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY A DEER.
I DON'T SEE HIM.
WELL, PUT SALT DOWN.
DEERS LOVE SALT.
WHERE AM I GONNA GET SALT?
DO YOU HAVE A LUNCH?
LANE!
SORRY.
I DON'T SEE HIM ANYWHERE.
WHAT IF HE'S HURT?
RORY, YOUR TEST.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S 7:40.
NO!
I'M SORRY.
EVERYONE BACK TO YOUR TESTS.
YOU'VE GOT TO
WAIT IN THE LIBRARY.
WHAT ABOUT THE TEST?
I'M AFRAID YOU'VE
MISSED THE TEST. NO.
WE START CLASS PROMPTLY AT 8:05.
THAT'S WHEN I NEED
PEOPLE IN THEIR SEATS.
PLEASE.
I'M SORRY. IT'S THE RULES.
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING
AND THEN I MISSED MY
BUS. SO I HAD TO DRIVE.
LET'S DISCUSS THIS OUTSIDE.
SO, I'M DRIVING AND I STOP,
AND I GET HIT BY A DEER.
YOU HIT A DEER?
NO, I GOT HIT BY A DEER.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
I'VE GOT ANTLER PRINTS ON
THE SIDE OF MY MOTHER'S CAR.
RORY, COME ON.
NO! YOU HAVE TO LET
ME TAKE THIS TEST!
I'M READY FOR THIS TEST.
I KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT SHAKESPEARE.
OK. OK, YOU NEED
TO CALM DOWN NOW.
I KNOW HIS BIRTHDAY, HIS
MOTHER'S NAME AND THE KIND OF INK...
LOSER.
AND JUST WHAT IS
WRONG WITH YOU, HUH?
YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING.
YOU HAVE THE GRADES
AND THE STATUS.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU
THAT YOU HAVE THIS CONSTANT NEED
TO BE THE BIGGEST JERK IN THE WORLD?
OK, LET'S GO.
HUH? WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S UP, QUIPPY?
WHY SO SILENT?
OUTSIDE, NOW.
AND, FOR THE LAST
TIME, THE NAME IS RORY!
MAKE SURE THAT CARPET IS
REPLACED PERFECTLY BEFORE THEY GO.
OK.
PERFECTLY, NAILED
DOWN AND EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU MEAN THAT "PERFECTLY."
I THOUGHT YOU MEANT
THE OTHER "PERFECTLY."
THE ONE THAT COULD BE
MISINTERPRETED BY THE OTHER MICHEL,
YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO COULDN'T
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY "PERFECTLY."
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT PAT BENATAR?
GREAT IDEA. CAN
SHE PLAY THE HARP?
I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW
IT! I KNEW IT! I FOUND IT!
YOU FOUND WHAT?
HIS BILL. I FOUND HIS BILL!
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IT WASN'T THE RISOTTO, IT WAS THE
WINE. HE ORDERED THE WRONG WINE!
OH, WOW, GREAT.
SEE, IN THE REVIEW, HE MENTIONED
SOMETHING ABOUT A SUMMER TOMATO SALAD
WHICH I ONLY MADE
ONCE IN THE LAST 3 WEEKS
BECAUSE JACKSON OF COURSE DECIDES TO GET
IN A FISTFIGHT WITH HIS TOMATO GROWER...
OK, THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY.
YES. SAVE IT FOR CHRISTMASTIME.
BRIAN, THE GOATEED WAITER,
ONLY WORKED ONE SHIFT LAST WEEK
BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND KICKED
HIM OUT AND HE HAD TO MOVE.
CELIA KICKED HIM OUT?
WELL, HE DIDN'T WANT KIDS.
BUT SHE KNEW THAT
WHEN THEY MOVED IN.
WOMEN THINK THEY CAN CHANGE MEN.
YEAH.
SO, I CHECKED THE DATES,
AND NARROWED THE DAY DOWN,
AND FOUND A PARTY
THAT HAD ORDERED
PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING
IN THE MENU INCLUDING...
THE MAGIC RISOTTO.
YES, THE RISOTTO AND A
RIESLING. HA! A RIESLING!
WHY NOT JUST DRINK BATTERY ACID?
EXACTLY. CHANGES THE
ENTIRE FLAVOR OF THE DISH.
AND THE FACT THAT
BRIAN EVEN SERVED IT,
MAKES ME THINK CELIA IS A
LITTLE BIT BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.
I'M SO GLAD, HON.
OH.
OK. HERE ARE THE ZUCCHINI.
TOO SMALL. TAKE THEM AWAY.
OH, IT'S GOOD TO
HAVE HER BACK, HUH?
YEAH. YEAH.
YOU'RE STILL GONNA HAVE
TO PAY FOR THE ZUCCHINI.
YEAH. YEAH.
THERE'S A MAN WITH
A FUNNY ACCENT
ON THE PHONE, ASKING FOR YOU.
REALLY? DID YOU GUYS
EXCHANGE THE SECRET HANDSHAKE?
LORELAI HERE.
RORY, WHAT HAPPENED?
I GOT HIT BY A DEER.
YOU GOT WHAT?
THEN I WAS LATE, AND THEY
WOULDN'T LET ME TAKE THE TEST.
WHAT?
THEY WOULDN'T LET
ME TAKE THE TEST...
NO, YOU'RE KIDDING ME. MOM...
NO, IT'S OK. JUST SIT RIGHT
HERE. I'LL HANDLE THIS.
EXCUSE ME. HELLO.
MS. GILMORE. PLEASE COME IN.
THANK YOU.
HAVE A SEAT.
UM, I THINK THERE'S
BEEN A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
UH, RORY TOLD ME THAT SHE
WASN'T ALLOWED TO TAKE HER TEST.
SHE WAS LATE.
RIGHT, WELL,
SEE, THERE WERE CIRCUMSTANCES
BEYOND HER CONTROL.
RORY IS NEVER LATE. SHE'S
ALMOST ANNOYINGLY ON TIME.
I THINK IF YOU CHECKED
YOUR RECORDS...
PAST PERFORMANCE HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH TODAY'S SITUATION.
OK. BUT SEE, SHE WAS
UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING.
I WAS THERE. SHE HAS A WITNESS.
SHE'S NOT ON TRIAL HERE.
WELL, YOUR HONOR...
JUST A LITTLE TRIAL HUMOR.
THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
UM, SEE, SHE GOT UP LATE. SHE
BROKE HER NECK TO GET HERE.
WE DON'T LIVE LOCALLY AS YOU...
"THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK."
EXCUSE ME?
"MY COMPUTER CRASHED,
AND I LOST MY MIDTERM."
I WASN'T MAKING EXCUSES.
"MY GRANDMOTHER
AND FIRST COUSIN DIED."
"MY SISTER TOOK MY REPORT
TO SCHOOL INSTEAD OF HERS."
"MY RELIGION PROHIBITS
STUDYING AFTER SUNDOWN."
"I WENT BLIND LAST
NIGHT, BUT I'M FINE NOW."
THAT'S NOT RORY.
MS. GILMORE, RULES ARE RULES.
WHEN YOU'RE LATE,
YOU FORFEIT THE
RIGHT TO TAKE THE TEST.
WH-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHERE... WHERE IS HE GOING?
LORELAI, PLEASE, BELIEVE ME,
IF I COULD DO ANYTHING, I WOULD.
YOU COULD LET HER TAKE
THE TEST. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T.
WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
MS. GILMORE, WE'RE NOT HERE TO
BE FAIR. WE'RE HERE TO EDUCATE.
YES, AND I'M ASKING YOU
TO PLEASE EDUCATE MY KID.
WE WILL WHEN SHE'S ON TIME.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
ARE YOU HOLDING THAT
DOOR OPEN FOR A REASON?
OUR MEETING IS OVER.
LIKE HELL IT IS. LORELAI.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE
HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS WEEK?
WE HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT
EVERY NIGHT, STUDYING.
WE HAVEN'T SLEPT. WE HAVEN'T
TALKED ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE
EXCEPT THIS SCHOOL
AND THIS TEST FOR 7 DAYS.
WE HAVE STRETCHED OURSELVES
AS THIN AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE
WITHOUT GOING COMPLETELY POSTAL.
MY GOD! WE'RE JUST ONE PERSON!
WHY DON'T WE NARROW OUR FIELD
OF CONVERSATION DOWN TO RORY?
OK. DEAL. WHY... WHY DON'T WE?
YOU... YOU SIT HERE IN
YOUR SNOTTY LITTLE SCHOOL
THAT'S IN DESPERATE NEED
OF SOME EXTRA HEATING VENTS,
AND YOU NURTURE HORRIBLE KIDS
WHO TREAT EACH OTHER
LIKE MORTAL ENEMIES.
YOU SET IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS
THAT MAKE NORMAL PEOPLE
FEEL LESS THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
YOU TAKE A GREAT KID LIKE
RORY AND YOU TEAR HER APART!
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
COMPLETELY FAIR.
AND YOU! YOU SAY SHE'S
SMART AND SHE'LL DO FINE.
AND THIS ROTTING, STODGY RATHOLE
COULD USE SOMEBODY LIKE HER.
THEN YOU COMPLETELY
SHUT HER OUT OF A TEST
SHE'S BEEN CRAMMING
FOR, READY FOR,
THAT SHE COMPLETELY
DESERVES TO TAKE!
I DIDN'T CALL THIS
PLACE A RATHOLE.
OH, NO. THAT'S
TRUE. I ADDED THAT.
WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO GET
IN TROUBLE WITH "IL DUCE" HERE.
I THOUGHT THIS PLACE
WAS GONNA BE SO GREAT.
AND NOW, I GUESS THIS GOES
ON THE "BOY, WAS I WRONG" LIST
RIGHT ABOVE GAUCHOS BUT JUST
BELOW THE FLASHDANCE PHASE.
MY GOODNESS, YOU DO LIKE
TO THROW FITS IN YOUR FAMILY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOUR DAUGHTER THREW A SIMILAR,
IF NOT AS MANIC, FIT OF
HER OWN THIS MORNING.
OH, PLEASE. RORY
DOESN'T THROW FITS.
SHE'S THE MOST
EVEN-TEMPERED PERSON I KNOW.
WELL, THEN, SHE DID A
LOVELY IMPRESSION OF YOU.
WELL, I DON'T...
MS. GILMORE, EVERYTHING YOU SAID
IN YOUR RANT WAS ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
WITHOUT THE COLORFUL
EMBELLISHMENTS, OF COURSE.
WE DO SET IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS
AND SUCH STANDARDS DO FOSTER
HIGHLY COMPETITIVE CHILDREN.
HOWEVER, THAT IS LIFE,
AND THAT IS CHILTON.
RULES CAN CHANGE.
YOU CAN CHANGE THEM.
I TOLD YOUR DAUGHTER
WHEN SHE CAME HERE
THAT THIS PLACE WAS
NOT FOR EVERYONE
AND MIGHT NOT BE FOR HER.
I WILL NOW TELL
YOU THE SAME THING.
OK. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE HERE.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO TO
HARVARD. MAYBE SHE SHOULDN'T.
IF SHE CAN'T HANDLE THE
PRESSURE, SHE SHOULD LEAVE.
YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR
DAUGHTER HOME NOW
AND DECIDE WHAT IT
IS YOU INTEND TO DO.
HOWEVER, ANOTHER OUTBURST
LIKE THIS FROM EITHER OF YOU
WILL NOT BE ON THE OPTIONS LIST.
THANK YOU FOR COMING IN.
THAT WILL BE ALL.
YOU GOT HIT BY A DEER?
YOU DID. YOU GOT HIT BY A DEER.
IT JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
YOU COULDN'T JUST RUN
INTO A WALL LIKE OTHER KIDS?
CAN WE JUST GO HOME, PLEASE?
YEAH, SURE. JUMP IN.
MAY I HELP YOU?
YES.
HELLO. MY NAME IS
SOOKIE ST. JAMES.
I'M THE CHEF AT THE
INDEPENDENCE INN.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
YOU DO?
WELL, I'M FLATTERED.
YOU WRITE ABOUT
A LOT OF CHEFS...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? RIGHT.
WELL, I KNOW THAT THIS IS
A TERRIBLE INTRUSION, BUT...
ARE YOU COOKING?
I'M MAKING CHICKEN.
YOU USED TOO MUCH SALT.
I DID NOT.
IT SMELLS SALTY.
I'M CLOSING THE
DOOR NOW. NO, WAIT.
I FOUND OUT YOUR ADDRESS FROM
MY NETWORK OF CULINARY FRIENDS...
LOOK, THIS IS REALLY
INAPPROPRIATE.
I GAVE YOU A GOOD REVIEW.
I SUGGEST YOU GO HOME.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT
THE REVIEW. I JUST...
I WANT YOU TO TRY THIS DISH
WITH THIS WINE.
I'LL WAIT.
QUITE A DAY, HUH?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK. PLEASE.
OK.
YOU KNOW, I JUST THINK THAT
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT.
STOP THE CAR. WHAT?
HERE. STOP HERE.
YOU'RE JUST FEELING LIKE
AN IMPROMPTU NATURE WALK?
I WANNA SEE IF IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IF WHAT'S ALL RIGHT? THE DEER.
OH. SWEETIE, YOU'RE
NEVER GONNA FIND THE DEER!
WELL, I'M GONNA TRY.
I'M IN HEELS.
WELL, STAY IN THE CAR.
IT'S DANGEROUS IN THE CAR WITH ALL
THE KAMIKAZE DEER RUNNING AROUND.
I HAVE TO FIND IT.
ALL RIGHT. WAIT UP!
SO WHAT DOES THE DEER LOOK LIKE?
HUH, DOES HE HAVE ANY
DISTINGUISHING MARKS
BESIDES THE WORD "JEEP"
IMPRINTED ON HIS FOREHEAD?
HE'S JUST A DEER.
HMM.
SO I HAD A NICE CHAT WITH
HEADMASTER CHARLESTON TODAY.
HE SAID YOU WENT
BALLISTIC IN CLASS.
I WAS JUST TIRED.
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TIRED
IF YOU HADN'T BEEN
KILLING YOURSELF ALL WEEK.
I WAS STUDYING. I
DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
BE STUDYING THAT HARD.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU'RE 16.
YOU SHOULD GET SOME
SLEEP AND EAT A REAL MEAL
AND COME UP FOR
AIR ONCE IN A WHILE.
THEY KICKED ME OUT.
NO. OF COURSE NOT.
THEY LOVE YOU. THIS
IS COMING FROM ME.
ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD QUIT?
I'M SAYING, IF YOU
WANTED TO GO BACK
TO YOUR OTHER SCHOOL WITH LANE
THAT WOULD BE FINE WITH ME.
YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT.
YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
BUT YOU DON'T LOSE IT IN CLASS.
THAT'S NOT PART OF THE RORY
PERSONALITY DESCRIPTION.
AND IF YOU'RE LOSING IT IN CLASS
BECAUSE YOU'RE TIRED, OR
STRESSED OUT, OR WORKING TOO HARD,
I'M WORRIED ABOUT
THAT. I HAVE TO BE.
I LOST IT ONCE.
OK. FINE.
IT'S JUST I CAN'T
REMEMBER, YOU KNOW,
A TIME WHEN WE WEREN'T TALKING
ABOUT YOU GOING TO HARVARD.
IT WAS JUST A GIVEN. THAT WAS
WHAT WE WERE WORKING FOR.
EVERYTHING WENT
IN THAT DIRECTION.
I KNOW.
AND I'M FORGETTING
WHERE THAT ALL STARTED.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT
DID IT START WITH ME
OR DID IT START WITH YOU?
I MEAN, WAS IT MY DREAM
THAT YOU WENT TO HARVARD?
MOM.
BECAUSE I NEVER GOT TO DO
THE BIG, FANCY COLLEGE THING.
MAYBE ALL THIS TIME I'M
THINKING IT'S ALL FOR RORY
WHEN REALLY IT WASN'T.
I'M NOT DOING THIS
BECAUSE OF YOU.
BUT IF YOU ARE,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
I KNOW THAT.
I'LL STILL LOVE YOU
EVEN IF YOU CAN'T
SUPPORT ME IN MY OLD AGE
IN THE FABULOUS MANNER TO WHICH
I PLAN ON GROWING ACCUSTOMED.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT
SELFLESS GESTURE. THANK YOU.
I JUST WANT YOU
TO BE HAPPY. I AM.
NO, I WANT YOU TO BE
DANCING-THROUGH-
THE-WOODS-CRAZY HAPPY.
AND IF HARVARD AND CHILTON
IS NOT GONNA DO THAT FOR YOU,
THEN FORGET ABOUT THEM.
I WAS JUST BEHIND.
I NEVER CAUGHT UP ON ALL THE
READING. THAT'S WHY I GOT A "D."
I CAN CATCH UP. I WILL CATCH UP.
AND WHEN I DO,
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
RORY.
NO. HARVARD IS MY DREAM.
I WANT IT MORE THAN
ANYTHING. I SWEAR.
YEAH, BUT...
I APPRECIATE ALL THAT
YOU'RE SAYING. I DO.
BUT I'M NOT READY TO
GIVE UP ON CHILTON YET.
FAIR ENOUGH.
I DO, HOWEVER, RESERVE
THE RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND.
THAT'S YOUR PREROGATIVE, AS
LONG AS YOU REMAIN A WOMAN.
THANKS, THOUGH.
FOR WHAT?
FOR YELLING AT THE
HEADMASTER THE WAY YOU DID.
OH, I DIDN'T YELL AT HIM.
YOU CALLED HIM "IL DUCE."
WHICH MEANS "KIND
SIR" IN CANTONESE.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
HOW MUCH LONGER ARE WE
GONNA LOOK FOR THIS CRAZY DEER?
JUST A LITTLE FURTHER.
I JUST HOPE HE
DIDN'T HURT HIMSELF.
I JUST HOPE HE HAS INSURANCE.
OK, GO GET THAT PLAID SKIRT
OFF AND GRAB YOUR BOOKS.
WE'RE GOING TO LUKE'S.
DON'T YOU HAVE TO
GET BACK TO WORK?
THEY CAN LAST A LITTLE
WHILE LONGER WITHOUT ME.
PLUS MICHEL GETS SO CUTE WHEN
HE FEELS LIKE HE'S BEEN OVERWORKED.
HIS EARS PUFF OUT, HIS
NOSTRILS FLARE. IT'S BIG FUN.
GO. I'M GONE.
IT'S US.
WE'RE NOT HERE. WE
HAVE A LIFE. GET OVER IT.
HI. THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR RORY.
IT'S MAX MEDINA CALLING.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I
TALKED TO HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
OR "IL DUCE,"
AS HE'S MORE AFFECTIONATELY
KNOWN IN THE GILMORE HOUSEHOLD,
AND HE'S AGREED TO LET YOU
DO SOME EXTRA CREDIT WORK
TO HELP MAKE UP FOR
THE MISSED TEST TODAY.
NOW, I'M NOT SURE WHAT
THE EXTRA CREDIT WORK IS YET,
BUT IT PROBABLY WILL BE
TIME-CONSUMING AND EXTREMELY PAINFUL.
IT WILL, HOWEVER,
GET YOU BACK UP TO
WHERE I THINK YOU
RIGHTLY BELONG, RORY.
DON'T LOSE HEART.
MAKE THIS WORK.
AND IF YOUR MOTHER'S LISTENING,
LORELAI, IT WAS A PLEASURE
ENCOUNTERING YOU.
I HOPE IT HAPPENS AGAIN.
ANYWAY, SEE YOU IN CLASS. BYE.
OH, MY GOD, I'M
GOING TO CHILTON?
YOU DID IT, BABE. YOU GOT IN.
I TOLD MOM YOU'RE
CHANGING SCHOOLS.
IS SHE THRILLED?
THE PARTY'S ON FRIDAY.
ARE YOU MOVING?
NO, JUST MY BOOKS ARE.
READY? YES.
HEADMASTER
CHARLESTON WILL SEE YOU.
YOU MAY HAVE BEEN THE
SMARTEST GIRL AT STARS HOLLOW,
BUT THIS IS A DIFFERENT PLACE.
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH UP,
AND YOU'LL NEVER BEAT ME.
THERE'S A GOOD
CHANCE YOU WILL FAIL.
WHO'S THAT? NEW GIRL.
STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
I WILL MAKE THIS SCHOOL
A LIVING HELL FOR YOU.
SEE YOU TOMORROW, MARY.
THEY KEPT CALLING ME MARY.
MARY, LIKE VIRGIN MARY.
WHAT WOULD THEY CALL ME IF
THEY THOUGHT I LOOKED LIKE A SLUT?
THEY MIGHT HAVE ADDED
A "MAGDALENE" TO IT.
SHOPPING FOR SCHOOL
SUPPLIES. PARTY.
NOBODY DEMANDED THAT YOU COME.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
HOW OFTEN DO YOU
DO THINGS LIKE THIS?
I WAS THINKING WHILE
WE'RE GOING CRAZY,
WE SHOULD GET TOILET
PAPER AND A PLUNGER.
I'LL DO THIS LATER.
NO, I'M TEASING. COME ON,
GET THAT LIST OF YOURS.
OK.
I NEED LEGAL PADS...
GOT IT.
TONS OF PENS, RIGHT.
SOME NUMBER 2 PENCILS, 3
HIGHLIGHTERS, AN ERASER,
A STAPLE REMOVER, AND A FOLDER.
YOU NEED 3 HIGHLIGHTERS? YES.
3? YES.
THAT'S A VERY RANDOM NUMBER.
3 IS NOT A RANDOM NUMBER.
I MEAN, HOW DID YOU
GET TO THE NUMBER 3?
ONE DRIES UP, ONE GETS
LOST, I HAVE ONE LEFT.
YOU'VE REALLY THOUGHT
THIS OUT. YES, I HAVE.
WHAT CAME FIRST, THE
CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
CAN WE GET BACK TO THE LIST?
ALL RIGHT. OOH, HEY, LEGAL PADS.
NO. THOSE ARE PURPLE.
YES. PURPLE IS FESTIVE.
I CAN'T HAVE PURPLE.
YOU CAN. THEY'RE ON SALE.
I'M GOING TO A SERIOUS SCHOOL
NOW. I NEED SERIOUS PAPER.
PAPER IS PAPER. NOT AT CHILTON.
ALL RIGHT, FINE. HERE'S
YOUR SERIOUS PAPER.
THANK YOU.
OOH, AND HERE ARE YOUR SOMBER
HIGHLIGHTERS, YOUR MAUDLIN PENCILS,
YOUR MANIC-DEPRESSIVE PENS.
MOM.
NOW, THESE ERASERS ARE ON
LITHIUM. SO THEY MAY SEEM CHEERFUL,
BUT WE ACTUALLY CAUGHT THEM TRYING TO
SHOVE THEMSELVES IN THE PENCIL SHARPENER.
I'M GOING HOME NOW. NO, WAIT.
WE'RE... WE'RE GONNA STAGE AN
INTERVENTION WITH THE NEON POST-ITS
AND MAKE THEM GIVE UP
THEIR WACKY, CRAZY WAYS.
YOU'RE NEVER COMING
SHOPPING WITH ME AGAIN.
OH, HERE'S A CARD TRAY.
EVERYTHING IS GONNA...
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
DECENT EFFORT BY MOST.
GOOD EFFORT BY SOME.
EXCEPTIONAL EFFORT BY 2.
MS. GELLER. MS. GRANT.
MR. GRAHAM. MS. GILMORE.
TAKE THESE HOME.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
LOOK AT THE LARGE RED CIRCLES
AROUND VARIOUS PARTS OF YOUR PAPER
AS FRIENDLY REMINDERS
THAT TO ERR IS HUMAN.
AND THAT HERE AT CHILTON,
WE TRY TO BEAT THAT
HUMANITY RIGHT OUT OF YOU.
OK, NEXT UP, THE TEST.
THE DREADED TEST.
SHAKESPEARE!
THE MAN WE'VE BEEN DRONING
ON ABOUT FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS
FINALLY COMES BACK
TO HAUNT US ON FRIDAY.
THIS IS A BIG ONE, MY FRIENDS.
MULTIPLE-CHOICE,
WITH AN ESSAY SECTION
THAT WILL COUNT FOR 20 PERCENT
OF YOUR GRADE THIS SEMESTER.
DON'T BE FOOLED BY MY KIND
FACE AND CHARMING PERSONALITY.
THIS TEST WILL BE HARD,
AND THERE WILL BE NO MAKE-UPS.
REFER TO THE STUDY MATERIALS THAT I
GAVE YOU AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH,
AND THOSE EXTENSIVE NOTES
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN TAKING.
HARD PAPER.
KILLER.
HOW DID YOU DO? "A."
ME, TOO!
SMALL WORLD. ISN'T IT?
MADELINE, WHAT DID YOU GET?
YOU KNOW I GOT A "B."
A "B" IS NOT BAD. IT'S
RESPECTABLE EVEN.
NOT AT ALL.
I'D BE PROUD.
A "D," HOWEVER, THAT WOULD
BE CAUSE FOR CONCERN.
A CRY FOR HELP.
A JOB APPLICATION AT McDONALD'S.
"WOULD YOU LIKE
FRIES WITH THAT?"
HEY, YOU KNOW, NOT
EVERYBODY CAN BE SMART.
AS MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAYS,
"SOMEBODY HAS TO ANSWER THE PHONES."
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU
TWO ARE TALKING ABOUT.
NO, BUT RORY DOES.
HEY, MARY!
AND IT JUST KEEPS
GETTING BETTER.
YOU LOOK SAD. I'M FINE.
BAD GRADE?
I HAVE TO GO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MARY,
I JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT
WHY WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
I MAKE YOU NERVOUS.
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T LEARN MY NAME.
DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
IS THAT A NO?
IS THERE NO ONE
ELSE YOU CAN BOTHER?
I THINK YOU LIKE ME.
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SAY IT. OH, BOY.
SO WHAT ARE YOU
DOING FRIDAY NIGHT?
I'M BUSY.
WHAT, YOU GOTTA BE BACK
AT THE CONVENT BY 5:00?
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
ALL RIGHT. SINCE
YOU SAID "PLEASE."
LATER, MARY.
OH, YOU IMBECILE!
BACK OFF, CHEVALIER.
MMM, YOU'RE STUPID,
BLIND, AND CLUMSY.
AT LEAST I'M NOT FRENCH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
SHE RAN OVER MY SHOE.
HE GOT IN THE WAY.
YOU AIMED FOR ME.
OK, HOLD ON.
SHE SCRATCHED MY SHOES.
WHAT A BABY.
THESE ARE $300 ITALIAN LOAFERS.
I WONDER IF VERSACE
MAKES A PACIFIER.
YOU'RE FIRED.
EXCUSE ME? YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.
THEN I DOCK YOUR PAY. ALL RIGHT.
CAN I KILL HER?
NOT BEFORE HIGH TEA.
FINE. THEN I WILL CURSE YOU
CONSTANTLY AND IN SEVERAL LANGUAGES.
I'M GOING FOR THE OTHER FOOT.
OH, DON'T! DRELLA,
TO YOUR CORNER NOW.
I WIN.
MICHEL, YOU'RE A GROWN MAN.
NOW GO TO YOUR
DESK AND ACT LIKE ONE.
HMM.
OH, MY GOD.
SOOKIE, SOOKIE!
OK, OK, JUST A MINUTE.
I'VE GOT IT.
THE REVIEW?
IT'S HERE.
OOH, WHERE IS IT? I'M LOOKING.
HURRY.
OH.
BEHOLD, IN THEATERS NOW,
THE THING THAT READS A LOT.
CHOCOLATE?
GLASS MEASURING
CUP. LORELAI, LOOK.
I'M SORRY.
JEEZ, WHO'S NAKED?
UH, LUCIEN MILLS, FOOD CRITIC.
YEAH? HOW'S HIS BUTT?
NO, NO, HE WAS SUPPOSED
TO REVIEW THE RESTAURANT.
OH, HERE IT IS.
IS IT... IS IT GOOD? IS HE...
IS HE MEAN? SHOULD I CRY?
HERE WE GO.
"THE WORDS 'DIVINE, '
'DELECTABLE, ' AND 'DELIRIOUS'
"DON'T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE
THE DELICIOUS EXPERIENCE
OF DINING AT THE INDEPENDENCE
INN." I'M SMELLING RAVE.
REALLY?
"ONLY CHEF SOOKIE ST. JAMES
COULD MAKE A SIMPLE SALAD
"OF HOTHOUSE TOMATOES
AND ASSORTED FRESH HERBS
"SEEM LIKE A
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.
HER LOBSTER BISQUE IS WORTH
EVERY SINFUL, CREAM-FILLED, RICH SIP."
SEE, I DON'T USE
THAT MUCH CREAM.
I JUST USE A VERY
CONCENTRATED LOBSTER STOCK.
AND IT REALLY MAKES IT...
HE'S NOT HERE.
OK, GO ON.
"THE ENTREES ARE AS
HEAVENLY AS THE STARTERS.
"THOUGH THE MUCH-LAUDED
RISOTTO WAS PERFECTLY FINE,
"IT WAS THE HANDKERCHIEF PASTA
"WITH BROWN SAGE
IN A BUTTER SAUCE
THAT SENT ME THROUGH THE ROOF."
SOOKIE, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!
I'M GONNA HAVE THIS
FRAMED FOR THE DINING ROOM!
OH, YEAH, THAT'D BE SWELL.
CAN I SEE THAT AGAIN? YEAH.
SO WE SHOULD
CELEBRATE TONIGHT, HUH?
GIRLS ON THE TOWN?
I CAN'T. I HAVE TO STUDY.
YOU KNOW, I SHOULD REALLY GET
STARTED ON THE SHOPPING LIST.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
WE ARE YOUNG AND FIERY WOMEN.
STUDYING? SHOPPING LISTS?
WHERE'S "TO HELL WITH IT ALL"?
WHERE'S "THROWING
CAUTION TO THE WIND"?
WHERE... OH, SHOOT,
THE LINEN DELIVERY.
YOU GO, GIRL.
AND THE "PERSON OF
THE WEEK" SEGMENT.
NEWS IS ON!
ONE SEC.
FOR OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
A GRISLY, HORRIBLE THING
HAPPENED IN A SMALL TOWN
WHERE NO GRISLY, HORRIBLE
THINGS EVER HAPPEN.
EVERYONE'S SHOCKED!
HOUSE SLIDES DOWN HILL.
LIPOSUCTION KILLS. STAY FAT.
HEY, LET'S GET ICE
CREAM. I'M BORED.
HELLO?
MOM, I'M STUDYING.
YEAH, BUT I'M TALKING ICE
CREAM. CAN'T YOU TAKE A BREAK?
I CAN'T TAKE A BREAK RIGHT NOW.
OK. WHEN?
ARE YOU 4?
NO, I'M HUNGRY.
HAVE SOME MORE PIZZA.
IT'S COLD.
HEAT IT UP.
IT'S NOT THE SAME.
LORELAI, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
WOW, SMART GIRLS ARE MEAN.
IF YOU LET ME STUDY NOW, I'LL
PLAY WITH YOU THIS WEEKEND.
PROMISE?
YES. WE CAN DO
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
WILL YOU GO TO THE
SHOE SALE WITH ME? YES.
WILL YOU LET ME TRY
ON ANYTHING I WANT? YES.
WILL YOU HELP ME PUSH OTHER
PEOPLE AWAY IF THEY GO FOR MY SIZE?
I'LL EVEN RUN
INTERFERENCE FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT A DEAL.
GOOD.
SO, I'M SORRY...
WHERE DID WE LAND ON
THE WHOLE ICE CREAM ISSUE?
WHAT?
LANE?
RORY?
RIGHT OR LEFT?
LEFT.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID LEFT.
SORRY. MY LEFT, YOUR RIGHT.
OK.
MARCO.
POLO.
MARCO.
POLO.
HEY, MARCO.
HEY, POLO.
YOU'RE LATE.
SORRY.
WHAT IS THAT?
12 CALORIES.
HERE.
OH, MY GOD. BLESS YOU.
MAN, WHAT'S THAT?
MY NOTES.
REALLY?
I DON'T THINK SHAKESPEARE
KNEW HIMSELF THIS WELL.
OOH, I LIKE. HOW MUCH?
$500.
IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?
$450.
I'M NOT SO SURE.
$375 AND YOU TAKE IT RIGHT NOW.
SOLD.
WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS.
MOVE.
I REALLY MISS STARS HOLLOW HIGH.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
NO. CHILTON'S JUST...
I DON'T KNOW, HARD.
WHAT DO YOU CARE?
YOU WERE ALWAYS
MISS EVERYTHING'S-SO-EASY-
AT-SCHOOL.
THIS SHOULD BE A SNAP FOR YOU.
NOPE. THIS IS SOLD. MOVE.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, THAT'S MINE.
THAT IS CHOCOLATE-COVERED DEATH.
WITH A CREAMY CARAMEL SURPRISE.
HELLO.
UH, SO, THIS GUY ASKED
ABOUT YOU TODAY.
WHAT GUY?
THE NEW KID. TALL, PERFECT.
WHAT DID HE WANT TO KNOW?
WHERE YOU WERE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I TOLD HIM YOU WERE
TOO SMART FOR US,
AND YOU HAD TO GO
TO THE GENIUS SCHOOL.
OH.
HE REALLY LIKED THAT.
I GUESS HE'S INTO BRAINY CHICKS.
I'LL KEEP MY EYES
OPEN FOR ONE FOR HIM.
NO. SOLD. MOM.
MOVE.
WHERE DO YOU WANT US TO GO?
LIBRARY.
I HATE SALES.
NO BLACK SABBATH.
NO ONE'S LISTENING.
NO BLACK SABBATH, NO STEELY
DAN, NO BOSTON, AND NO QUEEN.
WHAT HAPPENED TO
MAKE YOU SO COLD?
YOU LIKE THAT MOZART.
I AM THE ARTIE SHAW OF HARPISTS.
SOOKIE, I NEED COFFEE TO GO.
THERE'S FRESH OVER THERE.
OOH, GOOD.
FRESH IN MY FIRST
LIFETIME AS JOAN OF ARC.
OH, SORRY.
I THOUGHT I MADE FRESH. HERE.
BLESS YOU. I'M SO EXHAUSTED, AND I
HAVE TO DRIVE TO HARTFORD TONIGHT
TO GO TO A
PARENT-TEACHER MEETING.
SOUNDS GREAT.
YEAH, THIS SCHOOL IS SO
DIFFERENT FROM STARS HOLLOW.
THEY SEND HOME A THOUSAND
PAGES OF UPDATES EVERY WEEK.
IT'S A VERY INTENSE PLACE.
UH-HUH.
LAST WEEK, THERE
WAS THIS HUGE DEBATE
OVER WHETHER PLAID SCRUNCHIES
WERE ACCEPTABLE HEADWEAR.
PEOPLE TOOK SIDES.
THINGS GOT UGLY.
THE SCRUNCHY
MOTION FINALLY PASSED
AND I LIKE TO THINK I
WAS THE TIEBREAKER.
THAT'S NICE.
HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER, SWEETIE?
HE SAID IT WAS FINE.
WHO SAID IT WAS FINE?
LUCIEN MILLS.
THE RESTAURANT CRITIC?
HE SAID MY RISOTTO WAS FINE.
WELL, ISN'T IT?
NO, IT'S NOT FINE.
FINE IS A WORD YOU USE WHEN
SOMEONE STOPS YOU ON THE STREET
THAT YOU KNOW, BUT YOU
DON'T WANT TO TALK TO.
THEY ASK YOU HOW YOU
ARE, AND YOU SAY, "FINE."
THAT'S ENOUGH SO
THEY DON'T HAVE TO
KEEP TALKING TO YOU,
'CAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO.
THEN THEY CAN FEEL
GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES
BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN
CONSIDERATE ENOUGH TO ASK,
AND IF, GOD FORBID,
SOMETHING ACTUALLY IS WRONG,
THEY'LL SIT DOWN, TAKE TIME AND
LISTEN, EVEN IF THEY DON'T WANT TO.
SWEETIE, I DON'T THINK HE MEANT
FINE AS A SLAM OR AS A MONOLOGUE.
HE COULDN'T HAVE
MEANT IT ANY OTHER WAY.
SOOKIE, I HATE TO SEE YOU GET
SO UPSET OVER ONE LITTLE REVIEW.
THIS IS PRIDE, LORELAI.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS RISOTTO.
ON MY MOTHER'S DEATHBED...
YOU MADE THE RISOTTO
AND SHE LIVED 3 MORE YEARS.
SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.
THE DOCTOR SAID SHE WOULDN'T
MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT.
AND SHE LIVED BECAUSE OF
THE RISOTTO, THE MAGIC RISOTTO.
AND THIS GUY HAD THE
NERVE TO SAY IT WAS FINE.
I DON'T THINK HE KNEW THE STORY.
OK. NOW, BEFORE YOU GET ALL GOOFY
ON ME, I DON'T HAVE YOUR PORCINIS.
I FORGOT THEM.
I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER EXCUSE,
OTHER THAN PLAIN, OLD,
STUPID HUMAN ERROR.
AND I HAVE THE MORELS,
WHICH I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT,
SO COME ON, LET ME HAVE IT.
MORELS ARE FINE.
DID ANYONE ELSE FEEL THE SHIFT
IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM?
A REVIEWER DIDN'T
LIKE THE RISOTTO.
THE MAGIC RISOTTO?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
WELL, I GOTTA GO.
SO TRY AND CHEER
HER UP, WOULD YOU?
OH, SURE.
SWEETIE, PLEASE
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE THE BEST.
SO...
I HEAR THE HUCKLEBERRY CROP'S
GONNA TOTALLY SUCK THIS YEAR.
WE ARE GONNA BE FOCUSING
ON ELIZABETHAN LITERATURE.
SHAKESPEARE, MARLOWE, BACON,
BEN JONSON, JOHN WEBSTER.
YEAH, IS MARLOWE
REALLY THAT SIGNIFICANT?
WELL, WE WANT TO GIVE AS
COMPLETE AN OVERVIEW AS POSSIBLE.
YES, BUT WILL HE BE INCLUDED ON
THE ADVANCED PLACEMENT TEST?
WE CAN'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT WILL BE ON THE A.P. TEST,
BUT IT WILL BE IMPORTANT
FOR FUTURE STUDIES
WHEN YOUR KIDS HIT
THEIR UNIVERSITIES.
BUT TO GET THERE THEY
NEED TO PASS THE A.P. TEST.
RIGHT, IT'S ALL IMPORTANT.
IT COULD ALL BE ON THE TEST.
HOW DO WE FIND OUT?
YOU COULD BRIBE SOMEBODY
ON THE A.P. COMMITTEE.
I WAS KIDDING. UH, JUST KIDDING.
I... I'M SO SORRY.
I HAD A TERRIBLE
POTHOLE INCIDENT.
YOU DON'T CARE.
SO PLEASE, GO ON.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
YOU OK? UH-HUH.
I'LL JUST SIT NOW.
I DON'T THINK
WE'VE... WE'VE MET.
OH, I'M, UH, LORELAI
GILMORE. RORY'S MOM.
GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US.
RORY'S ONE OF OUR NEW STUDENTS.
HOW NICE. NOW, THE A.P. TEST.
RIGHT. WELL, WE ARE
PREPARING THEM AS BEST WE CAN.
I'VE HIRED A TUTOR FOR BETHANY.
ALWAYS A VALID OPTION.
MMM.
JESUS, MARY, JOSEPH,
AND THE CAMEL!
THIS IS REALLY BAD COFFEE.
SO, AHEM, THIS A.P. TEST, WHAT
ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT IT, HUH?
WELL, THE NEXT TEST IS
SCHEDULED FOR NEXT MONTH.
UM, THE 25TH,
SATURDAY, AT 7:00 A.M.
MS. GILMORE?
UH, WHERE... WHERE IS THE TEST?
IT WILL BE GIVEN HERE.
HERE?
RIGHT.
GREAT.
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
UM, YEAH.
UM, CAN PARENTS COME?
WHAT?
YEAH, IT'S A BIG, EXCITING TEST.
SO I JUST THOUGHT... I'M
SORRY. IS THAT STUPID?
OH, NO, NO, IT'S NOT STUPID.
I JUST THOUGHT I'D LIKE
TO SEE THE EXCITEMENT.
IT'S A TEST.
YEAH, I KNOW.
WHAT'S EXCITING ABOUT A TEST?
DO YOU PLAY GOLF?
YES, I DO.
YOU EXPLAIN YOURS,
I'LL EXPLAIN MINE.
OK, WHY NOT GET
BACK TO THE MEETING?
THAT'S THE ONE WHO
VOTED FOR THE SCRUNCHIES.
MUST BE A SCHOLARSHIP STUDENT.
UM, EXCUSE ME.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THIS
WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR A BREAK.
THERE'S COFFEE IN THE BACK.
WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO? HIT HER?
NO. I JUST... I HAD SOME GOOD
VERBAL COMEBACKS READY.
HMM.
IT... IT JUST KEEPS
GETTING WORSE.
WELL, YOU KNOW, NOT
DRINKING IT IS ALWAYS AN OPTION.
NOT IN MY WORLD.
I'M MAX MEDINA.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE BEHAVIOR
OF SOME OF OUR GUESTS TONIGHT.
IT'S A TENSE TIME
FOR SOME PEOPLE.
THE S.A.T. SEASON?
THE WAKING HOURS.
HEY, ARE YOU THIS
NICE TO MY KID?
YEAH, IT'S EASY.
RORY'S A SWEET GIRL.
YEAH, SHE IS, SHE IS.
HOW IS SHE LIKING CHILTON?
OH, SHE LOVES IT.
REALLY?
OH, YEAH. I MEAN, IT'S AN
ADJUSTMENT, OF COURSE.
BUT SHE'S ALWAYS
WANTED TO GO TO HARVARD.
THIS IS HOW SHE'LL GET THERE.
HARVARD? YEAH.
EVER SINCE SHE COULD CRAWL, I'VE
REALLY WANTED HER TO GO THERE.
OH, IT'S A GREAT SCHOOL.
I ACTUALLY BOUGHT HER A HARVARD
SWEATSHIRT WHEN SHE WAS 4.
OF COURSE, IT WAS
WAY TOO BIG FOR HER.
SO SHE USED IT AS A
BLANKET FOR A WHILE,
AND THEN AS A MAKESHIFT DIAPER ON
THIS REALLY ILL-FATED SHOPPING TRIP.
AND NOW I'VE TOLD YOU A STORY
THAT WOULD SO MORTIFY HER,
SHE'LL KILL ME WHEN
SHE FINDS OUT YOU KNOW.
DON'T TELL HER THEN.
IT'LL BE OUR SECRET.
WHY, I APPRECIATE THAT.
SO, ARE YOU A B-52's GIRL?
WHAT?
NO, I'M A KLUTZ GIRL
WHO SHOULD NOT DRIVE
WITH COFFEE IN HER HAND.
I, UM, HAD THIS IN THE CAR.
YOU KNOW, I HOPE RORY
ADJUSTS TO THIS PLACE.
WE NEED HER HERE.
THANK YOU. THAT'S SO NICE.
I HOPE SHE'S NOT TOO
DISAPPOINTED ABOUT HER PAPER.
IT'S VERY HARD TO CATCH UP
ON ALL THAT READING MATERIAL.
I KNOW A "D" SEEMS
PRETTY DISMAL...
RORY GOT A "D"?
YEAH, BUT... SHE'S
NEVER GOTTEN A "D."
IT'S THE FIRST PAPER
SHE'S HAD TO TURN IN.
SHE'S BOUND TO FALTER A LITTLE.
OH MAN, THIS TOTALLY EXPLAINS
THE NO ICE CREAM THING.
GOD, I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.
THE ICE CREAM THING?
LOOK, I... I... I'VE GOTTA GO.
WELL, I'M SORRY IF I SAID
SOMETHING TO OFFEND YOU.
OH, NO, NO, NO. IF RORY GOT A "D,"
SHE'S NOT FEELING TOO GOOD RIGHT NOW.
AND I'D REALLY LIKE TO BE THERE.
I UNDERSTAND.
SO, IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
YOU, TOO.
UM, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
I WILL.
DON'T EVER MAKE
COFFEE EVER AGAIN.
I WON'T, I PROMISE.
OH.
OH.
THANKS. AHEM.
BYE.
BYE.
HERE. WHAT'S THAT?
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU NEED PIE. I DO?
VIOLENT PENCIL-TOSSING
USUALLY SIGNALS A NEED FOR PIE.
WHAT IF I'D THROWN A PEN?
I WOULD'VE BROUGHT
YOU A TROUT. WHAT?
I DON'T MAKE THE RULES,
I JUST CARRY THEM OUT.
HEY, BACKWARDS BASEBALL HAT.
NEW LOOK FOR YOU.
SHE'S EATING PIE? DID
SHE EVEN HAVE DINNER?
YOU RAISED HER. I JUST SERVE.
OH, HELLO, BOOKWORM.
FINALLY.
WHERE WERE YOU?
WELL, UM, ACTUALLY,
I WAS IN HARTFORD.
WHY?
I WAS THERE FOR THE...
PARENT-TEACHER MEETING.
OH, MY GOD, YEAH.
I FORGOT.
IT WENT VERY WELL.
I WAS EXTREMELY CHARMING.
I WON THE WHOLE CROWD
OVER. THEY MADE ME QUEEN.
HMM.
SO, I GUESS YOU
TALKED TO MR. MEDINA.
MMM-HMM.
WHY DID YOU LET ME WHINE
ABOUT ICE CREAM AND SHOE SALES
WHEN YOU HAD SOMETHING
MAJOR GOING ON?
I KNOW.
I HATE WHEN I'M AN
IDIOT AND DON'T KNOW IT.
I LIKE TO BE AWARE OF MY IDIOCY.
TO REALLY REVEL
IN IT, TAKE PICTURES.
I FELL WE'VE MISSED A PRIME
CHRISTMAS-CARD OPPORTUNITY.
I'M SORRY.
YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.
I COULDN'T.
YOU COULDN'T TELL ME?
YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING.
IT WAS TOO HUMILIATING.
OH, HONEY, YOU ONCE TOLD ME
THAT YOU LOVED SAVED BY THE BELL.
WHAT COULD BE MORE
HUMILIATING THAN THAT?
I COULDN'T FORM THE WORDS.
I COULDN'T EVEN SAY IT.
I COULDN'T EVEN COMPREHEND IT.
IT WAS A "D." I... I GOT A "D."
I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A "D." EVER.
I KNOW.
EVEN WHEN I BROKE MY ARM AND
I COULDN'T WRITE FOR A MONTH,
I STILL GOT AN "A" MINUS.
THAT WAS A DIFFERENT SCHOOL.
I KNOW. IT WAS
STARS HOLLOW HIGH.
A "D" AT STARS HOLLOW
IS LIKE AN "F" AT CHILTON.
IT'S WORSE. IT'S
LIKE A "G" OR A "W."
SO I'M GUESSING THE SPELLING
TEST DIDN'T GO WELL EITHER?
A "D."
I SUCK.
YOU DON'T SUCK.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
LISTEN, A "D" IS BAD, OK?
BUT THIS TALK ABOUT "I SUCK,"
"I CAN'T DO THIS," AND SELF-PITY,
THAT'S WORSE. THAT'S NOT YOU.
YOU DIDN'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF
WHEN IT TOOK YOU 3 MONTHS TO LEARN
HOW TO RIDE A BIKE. AND YOU WON'T NOW.
4 MONTHS. HUH?
IT TOOK ME 4 MONTHS TO
LEARN HOW TO RIDE A BIKE.
REALLY? 4 MONTHS?
YEAH. YOU WANNA BELABOR
THE CONVERSATION?
ALL RIGHT. FORGET
ABOUT THE BIKE.
LISTEN, A "D" IS ONE GRADE.
IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
YOU'LL CATCH UP,
YOU'LL DO BETTER.
YOU ARE OF HARDY,
STUBBORN STOCK, MY DEAR.
IF THERE'S ONE THING I GAVE
YOU, IT'S MY STUBBORNNESS.
I'M NOT STUBBORN. YES, YOU ARE.
NO, I'M NOT. FINE. YOU'RE NOT.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
YOU CAN DO THIS,
AND I'LL HELP YOU.
I'LL GET YOU THROUGH THIS.
NOW PUT THE "D" BEHIND YOU.
WHAT'S NEXT?
I HAVE A TEST ON FRIDAY.
OOH, A TEST. GREAT!
ON SHAKESPEARE.
THE BARD WITH A BEARD. LOVE IT.
IT'S 20 PERCENT OF MY GRADE.
JUST MAKES LIFE INTERESTING.
NOW WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO
TO GET YOU AN "A" ON THAT TEST?
DO YOU REALLY
THINK I CAN DO THIS?
I BET YOU $1.
THAT'S IT? THAT'S ALL
MY FUTURE'S WORTH, $1?
WELL, YOU DID GET A "D."
"LET ME NOT TO THE MARRIAGE
OF TRUE MINDS ADMIT IMPEDIMENTS
"LOVE IS NOT LOVE WHICH
ALTERS WHEN IT ALTERATION FINDS
"OR BENDS WITH THE
REMOVER TO REMOVE
"O, NO! IT IS AN EVER-FIXED MARK
"THAT LOOKS ON TEMPESTS
AND IS NEVER SHAKEN
"IT IS THE STAR TO
EVERY WANDERING BARK
WHOSE WORTH'S UNKNOWN
ALTHOUGH HIS HEIGHT BE TAKEN"
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
HEY, SOOKIE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THE MENU'S GONNA BE... MMM-HMM...
GOOD? HOT.
WAIT. I GOT ANOTHER ONE.
MMM.
BETTER? HOTTER.
WAIT. I GOT ONE MORE. ONE MORE.
MMM, SOOKIE,
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE RISOTTO?
HAVE WE GONE THEME NOW?
OOH, IS IT GONNA BE LIKE
THE SCOTCH TAPE STORE?
LOOK, I'VE MADE
40 RECIPES, OK? 40.
AND EVERY SINGLE TIME, I COME
BACK TO THE SAME CONCLUSION.
THAT YOURS IS BETTER.
YES. IT IS.
YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME?
YES! GREAT.
3 WEEKS AGO, A GUY
COMES IN HERE, LUCIEN MILLS,
ORDERS THE RISOTTO,
DOESN'T LIKE IT.
THE MAGIC RISOTTO?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
NOT HELPING.
HE'S A RESTAURANT CRITIC.
HE ORDERED LOTS OF THINGS,
PROBABLY DIDN'T FINISH THEM.
NOW, IN HIS REVIEW, HE SAID
HIS WAITER HAD A GOATEE.
YOU'VE GOT A GOATEE, SO YOU
WAITED ON HIM, AND I NEED INFO.
WELL, WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?
LIKE HE WAS UNHAPPY
WITH THE RISOTTO!
MAYBE HE HAD AN
ANNOYING TABLE COMPANION
THAT WOULDN'T LET HIM
CONCENTRATE ON HIS EATING.
I SERVE A LOT OF PEOPLE.
HE HAD A BEARD,
FALSE TEETH, OR A WIG,
OR THE GLASSES
WITH THE BIG NOSE.
MAY I BE FIRED NOW?
ABSOLUTELY.
WHAT ABOUT A GUY WITH AN
ANNOYING COMPANION AND A FAKE WIG
WHO WAS SITTING UNDERNEATH
AN AIR-CONDITIONING VENT,
NEXT TO A WOMAN WITH
TOO MUCH PERFUME ON?
THE COMEDY OF ERRORS: WRITTEN?
1590.
PUBLISHED?
1698.
OOH, 1623. CLOSE.
HOW IS 1623 CLOSE?
YOU GOT THE 16 PART RIGHT.
I WAS OFF BY 75 YEARS.
ANYTHING UNDER 100 IS CLOSE.
WHAT KIND OF A RULE IS THAT?
I'M RUNNING THE
STUDY SESSION HERE.
OK. RICHARD III.
1591.
'93?
'96?
OK, THAT'S GETTING
REALLY ANNOYING NOW.
GO ON. I'M LISTENING.
THE SONNETS ARE
154 POEMS OF 14 LINES.
EXCEPT?
EXCEPT FOR 126,
WHICH IS 12 LINES.
GOOD.
THEY'RE WRITTEN IN
IAMBIC PENTAMETER.
HMM.
EXCEPT?
EXCEPT FOR 145,
WHICH IS IN TETRAMETER.
ROCK ON, SISTER. REALLY?
NOT ONE MISTAKE. WOW.
HOW DO YOU FEEL? NAUSEOUS.
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T THINK THE
FRIES AND THE HORSERADISH SAUCE
WAS THE BEST IDEA WE EVER HAD.
IT WAS SATISFYING IN
THE MOMENT, THOUGH.
HMM, YOU'RE GONNA BLOW
THAT CLASS AWAY TOMORROW.
YOU THINK? I THINK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE CALL IT A NIGHT
AND GET SOME BEAUTY SLEEP?
YOU GO. I WANNA REVIEW
MY NOTES ONE MORE TIME.
OH, THAT'S OK. I'LL STAY UP.
MOM, GO TO SLEEP.
NO. I'M NOT EVEN TIRED.
I WAS JUST THINKING OF YOU.
♪ GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW ♪
♪ MY DARLIN' ♪
♪ BETTER KEEP ALL
THE BAD DREAMS AWAY ♪
♪ BREATHE NOW ♪
♪ THINK SWEET THINGS ♪
♪ AND I'LL THINK OF ALL
THE RIGHT WORDS TO SAY ♪
♪ BECAUSE WHO MADE YOU ♪
♪ MY DARLIN'? ♪
♪ WITH THE LOVE IN
EACH OF OUR HEARTS ♪
NO!
OH, NO!
OH, JEEZ.
THIS WAS SUCH A
BAD SLEEPING IDEA.
I'M LATE!
WHAT?
I'M LATE, I'M LATE!
I WOKE UP LATE!
ALRIGHT, CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T CALM DOWN!
I MISSED MY BUS! GET UP!
SWEETIE, MOMMY
CAN'T GET UP RIGHT NOW.
MOMMY'S BEEN SLEEPING
AT A RIGHT ANGLE ALL NIGHT.
I'M GONNA MISS THE TEST!
NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
I'LL GET THE KEYS.
WE'LL GO RIGHT NOW.
LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
I CAN'T TAKE YOU.
YOU HAVE TO!
I HAVE A MEETING
AT THE INN AT 8:00!
MOM!
OK, WAIT. THINK.
LISTEN. HERE. YOU DRIVE.
WHAT?
YOU DRIVE. I'LL GET
A RIDE FROM SOOKIE.
TAKE THE PHONE.
TAKE THE KEYS. GO!
ARE YOU SURE? GO, GO, GO, GO!
I'M GONE!
GOOD LUCK!
HELLO?
DID I LEAVE A SET OF MY NOTES
AT YOUR HOUSE YESTERDAY?
WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M DRIVING TO SCHOOL.
I... I NEED TO CHECK SOMETHING
AND I CAN'T FIND SOME OF MY NOTES.
OK, HOLD ON. LET ME CHECK.
♪
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.
WHAT DID I DO WITH THEM?
MAYBE IT'S DOWNSTAIRS
IN THE STORE?
MAYBE. I JUST...
OH, MY GOD!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I JUST GOT HIT BY A DEER!
YOU HIT A DEER?
NO! I GOT HIT BY A DEER.
HOW... HOW DO YOU
GET HIT BY A DEER?
I WAS AT A STOP
SIGN, AND HE HIT ME!
OH, MY GOD!
WAS IT A 4-WAY STOP?
WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO ASK
AFTER YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY A DEER.
I DON'T SEE HIM.
WELL, PUT SALT DOWN.
DEERS LOVE SALT.
WHERE AM I GONNA GET SALT?
DO YOU HAVE A LUNCH?
LANE!
SORRY.
I DON'T SEE HIM ANYWHERE.
WHAT IF HE'S HURT?
RORY, YOUR TEST.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S 7:40.
NO!
I'M SORRY.
EVERYONE BACK TO YOUR TESTS.
YOU'VE GOT TO
WAIT IN THE LIBRARY.
WHAT ABOUT THE TEST?
I'M AFRAID YOU'VE
MISSED THE TEST. NO.
WE START CLASS PROMPTLY AT 8:05.
THAT'S WHEN I NEED
PEOPLE IN THEIR SEATS.
PLEASE.
I'M SORRY. IT'S THE RULES.
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING
AND THEN I MISSED MY
BUS. SO I HAD TO DRIVE.
LET'S DISCUSS THIS OUTSIDE.
SO, I'M DRIVING AND I STOP,
AND I GET HIT BY A DEER.
YOU HIT A DEER?
NO, I GOT HIT BY A DEER.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
I'VE GOT ANTLER PRINTS ON
THE SIDE OF MY MOTHER'S CAR.
RORY, COME ON.
NO! YOU HAVE TO LET
ME TAKE THIS TEST!
I'M READY FOR THIS TEST.
I KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT SHAKESPEARE.
OK. OK, YOU NEED
TO CALM DOWN NOW.
I KNOW HIS BIRTHDAY, HIS
MOTHER'S NAME AND THE KIND OF INK...
LOSER.
AND JUST WHAT IS
WRONG WITH YOU, HUH?
YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING.
YOU HAVE THE GRADES
AND THE STATUS.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU
THAT YOU HAVE THIS CONSTANT NEED
TO BE THE BIGGEST JERK IN THE WORLD?
OK, LET'S GO.
HUH? WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S UP, QUIPPY?
WHY SO SILENT?
OUTSIDE, NOW.
AND, FOR THE LAST
TIME, THE NAME IS RORY!
MAKE SURE THAT CARPET IS
REPLACED PERFECTLY BEFORE THEY GO.
OK.
PERFECTLY, NAILED
DOWN AND EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU MEAN THAT "PERFECTLY."
I THOUGHT YOU MEANT
THE OTHER "PERFECTLY."
THE ONE THAT COULD BE
MISINTERPRETED BY THE OTHER MICHEL,
YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO COULDN'T
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY "PERFECTLY."
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT PAT BENATAR?
GREAT IDEA. CAN
SHE PLAY THE HARP?
I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW
IT! I KNEW IT! I FOUND IT!
YOU FOUND WHAT?
HIS BILL. I FOUND HIS BILL!
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IT WASN'T THE RISOTTO, IT WAS THE
WINE. HE ORDERED THE WRONG WINE!
OH, WOW, GREAT.
SEE, IN THE REVIEW, HE MENTIONED
SOMETHING ABOUT A SUMMER TOMATO SALAD
WHICH I ONLY MADE
ONCE IN THE LAST 3 WEEKS
BECAUSE JACKSON OF COURSE DECIDES TO GET
IN A FISTFIGHT WITH HIS TOMATO GROWER...
OK, THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY.
YES. SAVE IT FOR CHRISTMASTIME.
BRIAN, THE GOATEED WAITER,
ONLY WORKED ONE SHIFT LAST WEEK
BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND KICKED
HIM OUT AND HE HAD TO MOVE.
CELIA KICKED HIM OUT?
WELL, HE DIDN'T WANT KIDS.
BUT SHE KNEW THAT
WHEN THEY MOVED IN.
WOMEN THINK THEY CAN CHANGE MEN.
YEAH.
SO, I CHECKED THE DATES,
AND NARROWED THE DAY DOWN,
AND FOUND A PARTY
THAT HAD ORDERED
PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING
IN THE MENU INCLUDING...
THE MAGIC RISOTTO.
YES, THE RISOTTO AND A
RIESLING. HA! A RIESLING!
WHY NOT JUST DRINK BATTERY ACID?
EXACTLY. CHANGES THE
ENTIRE FLAVOR OF THE DISH.
AND THE FACT THAT
BRIAN EVEN SERVED IT,
MAKES ME THINK CELIA IS A
LITTLE BIT BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.
I'M SO GLAD, HON.
OH.
OK. HERE ARE THE ZUCCHINI.
TOO SMALL. TAKE THEM AWAY.
OH, IT'S GOOD TO
HAVE HER BACK, HUH?
YEAH. YEAH.
YOU'RE STILL GONNA HAVE
TO PAY FOR THE ZUCCHINI.
YEAH. YEAH.
THERE'S A MAN WITH
A FUNNY ACCENT
ON THE PHONE, ASKING FOR YOU.
REALLY? DID YOU GUYS
EXCHANGE THE SECRET HANDSHAKE?
LORELAI HERE.
RORY, WHAT HAPPENED?
I GOT HIT BY A DEER.
YOU GOT WHAT?
THEN I WAS LATE, AND THEY
WOULDN'T LET ME TAKE THE TEST.
WHAT?
THEY WOULDN'T LET
ME TAKE THE TEST...
NO, YOU'RE KIDDING ME. MOM...
NO, IT'S OK. JUST SIT RIGHT
HERE. I'LL HANDLE THIS.
EXCUSE ME. HELLO.
MS. GILMORE. PLEASE COME IN.
THANK YOU.
HAVE A SEAT.
UM, I THINK THERE'S
BEEN A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
UH, RORY TOLD ME THAT SHE
WASN'T ALLOWED TO TAKE HER TEST.
SHE WAS LATE.
RIGHT, WELL,
SEE, THERE WERE CIRCUMSTANCES
BEYOND HER CONTROL.
RORY IS NEVER LATE. SHE'S
ALMOST ANNOYINGLY ON TIME.
I THINK IF YOU CHECKED
YOUR RECORDS...
PAST PERFORMANCE HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH TODAY'S SITUATION.
OK. BUT SEE, SHE WAS
UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING.
I WAS THERE. SHE HAS A WITNESS.
SHE'S NOT ON TRIAL HERE.
WELL, YOUR HONOR...
JUST A LITTLE TRIAL HUMOR.
THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
UM, SEE, SHE GOT UP LATE. SHE
BROKE HER NECK TO GET HERE.
WE DON'T LIVE LOCALLY AS YOU...
"THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK."
EXCUSE ME?
"MY COMPUTER CRASHED,
AND I LOST MY MIDTERM."
I WASN'T MAKING EXCUSES.
"MY GRANDMOTHER
AND FIRST COUSIN DIED."
"MY SISTER TOOK MY REPORT
TO SCHOOL INSTEAD OF HERS."
"MY RELIGION PROHIBITS
STUDYING AFTER SUNDOWN."
"I WENT BLIND LAST
NIGHT, BUT I'M FINE NOW."
THAT'S NOT RORY.
MS. GILMORE, RULES ARE RULES.
WHEN YOU'RE LATE,
YOU FORFEIT THE
RIGHT TO TAKE THE TEST.
WH-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHERE... WHERE IS HE GOING?
LORELAI, PLEASE, BELIEVE ME,
IF I COULD DO ANYTHING, I WOULD.
YOU COULD LET HER TAKE
THE TEST. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T.
WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
MS. GILMORE, WE'RE NOT HERE TO
BE FAIR. WE'RE HERE TO EDUCATE.
YES, AND I'M ASKING YOU
TO PLEASE EDUCATE MY KID.
WE WILL WHEN SHE'S ON TIME.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
ARE YOU HOLDING THAT
DOOR OPEN FOR A REASON?
OUR MEETING IS OVER.
LIKE HELL IT IS. LORELAI.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE
HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS WEEK?
WE HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT
EVERY NIGHT, STUDYING.
WE HAVEN'T SLEPT. WE HAVEN'T
TALKED ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE
EXCEPT THIS SCHOOL
AND THIS TEST FOR 7 DAYS.
WE HAVE STRETCHED OURSELVES
AS THIN AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE
WITHOUT GOING COMPLETELY POSTAL.
MY GOD! WE'RE JUST ONE PERSON!
WHY DON'T WE NARROW OUR FIELD
OF CONVERSATION DOWN TO RORY?
OK. DEAL. WHY... WHY DON'T WE?
YOU... YOU SIT HERE IN
YOUR SNOTTY LITTLE SCHOOL
THAT'S IN DESPERATE NEED
OF SOME EXTRA HEATING VENTS,
AND YOU NURTURE HORRIBLE KIDS
WHO TREAT EACH OTHER
LIKE MORTAL ENEMIES.
YOU SET IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS
THAT MAKE NORMAL PEOPLE
FEEL LESS THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
YOU TAKE A GREAT KID LIKE
RORY AND YOU TEAR HER APART!
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
COMPLETELY FAIR.
AND YOU! YOU SAY SHE'S
SMART AND SHE'LL DO FINE.
AND THIS ROTTING, STODGY RATHOLE
COULD USE SOMEBODY LIKE HER.
THEN YOU COMPLETELY
SHUT HER OUT OF A TEST
SHE'S BEEN CRAMMING
FOR, READY FOR,
THAT SHE COMPLETELY
DESERVES TO TAKE!
I DIDN'T CALL THIS
PLACE A RATHOLE.
OH, NO. THAT'S
TRUE. I ADDED THAT.
WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO GET
IN TROUBLE WITH "IL DUCE" HERE.
I THOUGHT THIS PLACE
WAS GONNA BE SO GREAT.
AND NOW, I GUESS THIS GOES
ON THE "BOY, WAS I WRONG" LIST
RIGHT ABOVE GAUCHOS BUT JUST
BELOW THE FLASHDANCE PHASE.
MY GOODNESS, YOU DO LIKE
TO THROW FITS IN YOUR FAMILY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOUR DAUGHTER THREW A SIMILAR,
IF NOT AS MANIC, FIT OF
HER OWN THIS MORNING.
OH, PLEASE. RORY
DOESN'T THROW FITS.
SHE'S THE MOST
EVEN-TEMPERED PERSON I KNOW.
WELL, THEN, SHE DID A
LOVELY IMPRESSION OF YOU.
WELL, I DON'T...
MS. GILMORE, EVERYTHING YOU SAID
IN YOUR RANT WAS ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
WITHOUT THE COLORFUL
EMBELLISHMENTS, OF COURSE.
WE DO SET IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS
AND SUCH STANDARDS DO FOSTER
HIGHLY COMPETITIVE CHILDREN.
HOWEVER, THAT IS LIFE,
AND THAT IS CHILTON.
RULES CAN CHANGE.
YOU CAN CHANGE THEM.
I TOLD YOUR DAUGHTER
WHEN SHE CAME HERE
THAT THIS PLACE WAS
NOT FOR EVERYONE
AND MIGHT NOT BE FOR HER.
I WILL NOW TELL
YOU THE SAME THING.
OK. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE HERE.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO TO
HARVARD. MAYBE SHE SHOULDN'T.
IF SHE CAN'T HANDLE THE
PRESSURE, SHE SHOULD LEAVE.
YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR
DAUGHTER HOME NOW
AND DECIDE WHAT IT
IS YOU INTEND TO DO.
HOWEVER, ANOTHER OUTBURST
LIKE THIS FROM EITHER OF YOU
WILL NOT BE ON THE OPTIONS LIST.
THANK YOU FOR COMING IN.
THAT WILL BE ALL.
YOU GOT HIT BY A DEER?
YOU DID. YOU GOT HIT BY A DEER.
IT JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
YOU COULDN'T JUST RUN
INTO A WALL LIKE OTHER KIDS?
CAN WE JUST GO HOME, PLEASE?
YEAH, SURE. JUMP IN.
MAY I HELP YOU?
YES.
HELLO. MY NAME IS
SOOKIE ST. JAMES.
I'M THE CHEF AT THE
INDEPENDENCE INN.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
YOU DO?
WELL, I'M FLATTERED.
YOU WRITE ABOUT
A LOT OF CHEFS...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? RIGHT.
WELL, I KNOW THAT THIS IS
A TERRIBLE INTRUSION, BUT...
ARE YOU COOKING?
I'M MAKING CHICKEN.
YOU USED TOO MUCH SALT.
I DID NOT.
IT SMELLS SALTY.
I'M CLOSING THE
DOOR NOW. NO, WAIT.
I FOUND OUT YOUR ADDRESS FROM
MY NETWORK OF CULINARY FRIENDS...
LOOK, THIS IS REALLY
INAPPROPRIATE.
I GAVE YOU A GOOD REVIEW.
I SUGGEST YOU GO HOME.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT
THE REVIEW. I JUST...
I WANT YOU TO TRY THIS DISH
WITH THIS WINE.
I'LL WAIT.
QUITE A DAY, HUH?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK. PLEASE.
OK.
YOU KNOW, I JUST THINK THAT
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT.
STOP THE CAR. WHAT?
HERE. STOP HERE.
YOU'RE JUST FEELING LIKE
AN IMPROMPTU NATURE WALK?
I WANNA SEE IF IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IF WHAT'S ALL RIGHT? THE DEER.
OH. SWEETIE, YOU'RE
NEVER GONNA FIND THE DEER!
WELL, I'M GONNA TRY.
I'M IN HEELS.
WELL, STAY IN THE CAR.
IT'S DANGEROUS IN THE CAR WITH ALL
THE KAMIKAZE DEER RUNNING AROUND.
I HAVE TO FIND IT.
ALL RIGHT. WAIT UP!
SO WHAT DOES THE DEER LOOK LIKE?
HUH, DOES HE HAVE ANY
DISTINGUISHING MARKS
BESIDES THE WORD "JEEP"
IMPRINTED ON HIS FOREHEAD?
HE'S JUST A DEER.
HMM.
SO I HAD A NICE CHAT WITH
HEADMASTER CHARLESTON TODAY.
HE SAID YOU WENT
BALLISTIC IN CLASS.
I WAS JUST TIRED.
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TIRED
IF YOU HADN'T BEEN
KILLING YOURSELF ALL WEEK.
I WAS STUDYING. I
DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
BE STUDYING THAT HARD.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU'RE 16.
YOU SHOULD GET SOME
SLEEP AND EAT A REAL MEAL
AND COME UP FOR
AIR ONCE IN A WHILE.
THEY KICKED ME OUT.
NO. OF COURSE NOT.
THEY LOVE YOU. THIS
IS COMING FROM ME.
ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD QUIT?
I'M SAYING, IF YOU
WANTED TO GO BACK
TO YOUR OTHER SCHOOL WITH LANE
THAT WOULD BE FINE WITH ME.
YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT.
YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
BUT YOU DON'T LOSE IT IN CLASS.
THAT'S NOT PART OF THE RORY
PERSONALITY DESCRIPTION.
AND IF YOU'RE LOSING IT IN CLASS
BECAUSE YOU'RE TIRED, OR
STRESSED OUT, OR WORKING TOO HARD,
I'M WORRIED ABOUT
THAT. I HAVE TO BE.
I LOST IT ONCE.
OK. FINE.
IT'S JUST I CAN'T
REMEMBER, YOU KNOW,
A TIME WHEN WE WEREN'T TALKING
ABOUT YOU GOING TO HARVARD.
IT WAS JUST A GIVEN. THAT WAS
WHAT WE WERE WORKING FOR.
EVERYTHING WENT
IN THAT DIRECTION.
I KNOW.
AND I'M FORGETTING
WHERE THAT ALL STARTED.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT
DID IT START WITH ME
OR DID IT START WITH YOU?
I MEAN, WAS IT MY DREAM
THAT YOU WENT TO HARVARD?
MOM.
BECAUSE I NEVER GOT TO DO
THE BIG, FANCY COLLEGE THING.
MAYBE ALL THIS TIME I'M
THINKING IT'S ALL FOR RORY
WHEN REALLY IT WASN'T.
I'M NOT DOING THIS
BECAUSE OF YOU.
BUT IF YOU ARE,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
I KNOW THAT.
I'LL STILL LOVE YOU
EVEN IF YOU CAN'T
SUPPORT ME IN MY OLD AGE
IN THE FABULOUS MANNER TO WHICH
I PLAN ON GROWING ACCUSTOMED.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT
SELFLESS GESTURE. THANK YOU.
I JUST WANT YOU
TO BE HAPPY. I AM.
NO, I WANT YOU TO BE
DANCING-THROUGH-
THE-WOODS-CRAZY HAPPY.
AND IF HARVARD AND CHILTON
IS NOT GONNA DO THAT FOR YOU,
THEN FORGET ABOUT THEM.
I WAS JUST BEHIND.
I NEVER CAUGHT UP ON ALL THE
READING. THAT'S WHY I GOT A "D."
I CAN CATCH UP. I WILL CATCH UP.
AND WHEN I DO,
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
RORY.
NO. HARVARD IS MY DREAM.
I WANT IT MORE THAN
ANYTHING. I SWEAR.
YEAH, BUT...
I APPRECIATE ALL THAT
YOU'RE SAYING. I DO.
BUT I'M NOT READY TO
GIVE UP ON CHILTON YET.
FAIR ENOUGH.
I DO, HOWEVER, RESERVE
THE RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND.
THAT'S YOUR PREROGATIVE, AS
LONG AS YOU REMAIN A WOMAN.
THANKS, THOUGH.
FOR WHAT?
FOR YELLING AT THE
HEADMASTER THE WAY YOU DID.
OH, I DIDN'T YELL AT HIM.
YOU CALLED HIM "IL DUCE."
WHICH MEANS "KIND
SIR" IN CANTONESE.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
HOW MUCH LONGER ARE WE
GONNA LOOK FOR THIS CRAZY DEER?
JUST A LITTLE FURTHER.
I JUST HOPE HE
DIDN'T HURT HIMSELF.
I JUST HOPE HE HAS INSURANCE.
OK, GO GET THAT PLAID SKIRT
OFF AND GRAB YOUR BOOKS.
WE'RE GOING TO LUKE'S.
DON'T YOU HAVE TO
GET BACK TO WORK?
THEY CAN LAST A LITTLE
WHILE LONGER WITHOUT ME.
PLUS MICHEL GETS SO CUTE WHEN
HE FEELS LIKE HE'S BEEN OVERWORKED.
HIS EARS PUFF OUT, HIS
NOSTRILS FLARE. IT'S BIG FUN.
GO. I'M GONE.
IT'S US.
WE'RE NOT HERE. WE
HAVE A LIFE. GET OVER IT.
HI. THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR RORY.
IT'S MAX MEDINA CALLING.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I
TALKED TO HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
OR "IL DUCE,"
AS HE'S MORE AFFECTIONATELY
KNOWN IN THE GILMORE HOUSEHOLD,
AND HE'S AGREED TO LET YOU
DO SOME EXTRA CREDIT WORK
TO HELP MAKE UP FOR
THE MISSED TEST TODAY.
NOW, I'M NOT SURE WHAT
THE EXTRA CREDIT WORK IS YET,
BUT IT PROBABLY WILL BE
TIME-CONSUMING AND EXTREMELY PAINFUL.
IT WILL, HOWEVER,
GET YOU BACK UP TO
WHERE I THINK YOU
RIGHTLY BELONG, RORY.
DON'T LOSE HEART.
MAKE THIS WORK.
AND IF YOUR MOTHER'S LISTENING,
LORELAI, IT WAS A PLEASURE
ENCOUNTERING YOU.
I HOPE IT HAPPENS AGAIN.
ANYWAY, SEE YOU IN CLASS. BYE.