Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 1, Episode 12 - Double Date - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS:

YOU'RE AN AMAZING WOMAN.
THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

SO WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING
ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?

WE'RE FRIENDS, THAT'S IT.

YOU'RE IDIOTS, THE BOTH OF YOU.

I HAVE TO GET TO THE BUS
STOP. DEAN'S MEETING ME THERE.

BUT I'M TRYING TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS.

YOU SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND MY BACK
BUYING SOMEBODY ELSE'S STRAWBERRIES?

I NEEDED THE STRAWBERRIES.

I GET JEALOUS SOMETIMES.

I MEAN, YOU SEEM TO HAVE
THIS REALLY GREAT LIFE GOING,

AND I DON'T REALLY FIT IN THERE.

LANE, I'M SO SORRY.

I'VE BEEN THE
WORST FRIEND LATELY.

A ZUCCHINI TUSH?

JUST A TEMPORARY NAME.

YOU WANT ME TO SERVE MY CUSTOMERS
A GENETICALLY ENGINEERED VEGETABLE

THAT'S NAMED AFTER A BUTT?

SO ONCE YOU GET
SETTLED WITH DEAN,

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
ASK HIM ABOUT TODD?

OH, ABSOLUTELY.

WHEN DID YOU BECOME
THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERT?

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN A
RELATIONSHIP IN YEARS.

WOW.

I'M NOT EVEN GONNA
CHARGE YOU FOR THESE.

I WOULD RATHER STARVE MYSELF
THAN KNOW THAT MY FOOD WAS PAID FOR

BY THE LOWERED EXPECTATIONS
OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.

JACKSON? WHAT?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO
DINNER SOMETIME... WITH ME?

OK.

MOM!

♪

♪ I'VE BEEN PRAYING
ALL THE WEEK THROUGH ♪

♪ AT HOME, AT WORK,
AND ON THE BUS ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN PRAYING
I CAN KEEP YOU ♪

♪ AND TO EARN ENOUGH FOR US ♪

♪ I CAN TAKE HUMILIATION ♪

♪ AND HURTFUL
COMMENTS FROM THE BOSS ♪

♪ I'M JUST PRAYING
BY THE WEEKEND ♪

♪ I CAN EARN ENOUGH FOR US ♪

♪ I'M JUST PRAYING
BY THE WEEKEND ♪

♪ I CAN EARN ENOUGH FOR US ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW ANYWHERE ♪

♪ THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED ♪

♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

WOW. YOU WENT NEW-CD CRAZY.

THEY JUST HAD AN
AMAZING SELECTION TODAY.

THE BEST OF BLONDIE,

KRAFTWERK, YOUNG MARBLE GIANTS,

YOKO ONO. REALLY?

A VERY MISUNDERSTOOD ARTIST. THE
BEATLES WOULD'VE BROKEN UP ANYWAY.

HAVE YOU SHARED THIS
THEORY WITH ANYONE?

I KNOW IT, YOKO KNOWS
IT. SEAN KNOWS IT.

JULIAN'S IN DENIAL,
BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO?

OK, I MUST LISTEN TO ANYONE
NAMED CLAUDINE LONGET.

RORY.

YES, LANE?

I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK YOU.

UH-HUH.

WELL, YOU KNOW DEAN?

MY BOYFRIEND? YES.

YES, I DO.

OK. REMEMBER I WAS TELLING
YOU ABOUT HIS FRIEND, TODD?

TODD? YES.

HAVE YOU MET HIM?

NO.

WELL, HE'S COOL. GOOD.

REALLY COOL.

GOOD AGAIN.

REALLY, REALLY COOL.

GOOD STILL HOLDS.

SO COOL THAT IT BRINGS
ME TO THE NEXT QUESTION.

HEY, I'M STUDYING IN THERE.

I KNOW.

I HAVE, LIKE, 6,000 PAGES OF
CASE STUDIES TO MEMORIZE

AND THIS WHOLE BIG TEST ON THE
WAL-MART PHENOMENON COMING UP ON FRIDAY.

AND BECAUSE I HAVE
A LIFE AND A JOB,

AND BUSINESS SCHOOL IS NOT THE
ONLY THING I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE ON,

I'M BEHIND AND
I'LL PROBABLY FAIL.

AND THEN THAT LITTLE
18-YEAR-OLD ANNOYING GNAT

WHO SITS BEHIND ME
WILL GET ANOTHER "A"

AND MAKE THAT "I'M SMART, YOU'RE DUMB"
FACE TO ME FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK,

AND I'LL BE VERY UPSET
AND WILL POSSIBLY CRY.

THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD.

YES.

GOT IT. THANK YOU.

SO ANYHOW, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU COULD TALK TO DEAN

ABOUT MAYBE TALKING
TO TODD ABOUT ME.

I GUESS.

AND THEN MAYBE YOU COULD
ASK DEAN TO ASK HIM OUT.

FOR ME.

GOOD, 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK DEAN
WOULD WANNA GO OUT WITH TODD.

IT MIGHT SCREW UP
THEIR FRIENDSHIP.

AND THEN I WAS THINKING THAT THIS
DATE COULD MAYBE HAPPEN THIS WEEKEND.

SUNDAY, PREFERABLY. WELL.

AFTER CHURCH. BUT
DON'T MENTION CHURCH.

OK, HOLD ON A SECOND.
UNLESS HE'S INTO CHURCH.

HEY, UH, NOW IT'S TOO QUIET.

I'LL TURN IT UP.

THANK YOU.

OK.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHO THE HELL IS THAT ANYWAY?

CLAUDINE LONGET.

THE CHICK WHO SHOT THE SKIER?

UM, SURE, WHY NOT?

WOW. RENAISSANCE WOMAN.

YOU WANT ME TO SET
YOU UP WITH TODD?

YES.

AND I WAS THINKING
THAT YOU AND DEAN

COULD COME OUT WITH US
SO IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

OH.

YOU DON'T WANNA DO IT. NO. I...

THAT'S OK, I
UNDERSTAND. NO BIG DEAL.

HEY, GRAND DADDY, NEW
ALBUM, USED. I LOVE A BARGAIN.

I JUST REALLY DON'T
KNOW THIS TODD GUY.

I DO.

YOU'VE MET HIM TWICE.

BUT THE 3RD TIME'S A CHARM.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS
GUY'S RIGHT FOR YOU?

I KNOW. I'M TELLING YOU,
WE'RE TALKING SOUL MATE HERE.

THE LAST TIME YOU
MET YOUR SOUL MATE,

YOU RAN YOUR FINGERS
THROUGH HIS HAIR

AND ENDED UP HIDING AT
MY HOUSE FOR THE EVENING.

WELL, I STILL HAVE MY KEY. LANE.

LOOK, I MADE A MISTAKE
WITH RICH BLOOMENFELD.

EVERYONE'S ALLOWED ONE MISTAKE.

BUT TODD, TODD IS DIFFERENT.

HE IS?

FIRST OF ALL, HIS NAME IS TODD.

DIFFERENT NAME, DIFFERENT GUY.

OK, SO,

HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS WHOLE
BUSINESS SCHOOL THING ANYWAY?

I MEAN SO WHAT IF I
NEVER RUN MY OWN INN?

I LIKE MY JOB, I LIKE MY
HOUSE, I LIKE MY LIFE.

AND I CERTAINLY DON'T WANNA
BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

WHO'S NEVER SATISFIED WITH...
WITH WHAT THEY HAVE, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, SOME PEOPLE
DON'T HAVE LEGS OR ARMS.

I HAVE LEGS AND ARMS.

WHAT MORE COULD I POSSIBLY
WANT THAN LEGS AND ARMS?

I MEAN, I COULD TAKE ALL
THE CLASSES IN THE WORLD,

THAT'S NOT GONNA GIVE
ME WHAT I ALREADY HAVE.

LEGS AND ARMS?

YES.

AM I SOUNDING COMPLETELY CRAZY?

YES, YOU ARE.

WAL-MART IS BORING.

STUDY.

SO?

SO?

RORY.

OK.

REALLY?

YES, YOKO.

SO?

SO, WHAT YOU DOING?

YES, MICHEL?

I APOLOGIZE FOR
ANY INCONVENIENCE

I MIGHT BE CAUSING YOUR
FUTURE EMPLOYMENT.

BUT YOUR CURRENT ONE IS
EXPERIENCING A PROBLEM.

AND ONCE AGAIN I
SAY, "YES, MICHEL?"

ARE YOU SURE YOU
WOULDN'T LIKE ME TO WAIT?

NO, MICHEL.

BECAUSE LEARNING
THE EATING PATTERNS

OF THE AVERAGE
TACO BELL CONSUMER

IS A VITAL LESSON THAT...

MICHEL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WE'RE OVERBOOKED.

HOW ARE WE OVERBOOKED?

WELL, THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE HERE

THAN THERE ARE
ROOMS TO PUT THEM IN.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

WELL, I CANNOT DESCRIBE IT
ANY SIMPLER THAN I ALREADY HAVE.

WHERE DID THE RUCKERS COME FROM?

JUDGING FROM THEIR CLOTHING,

A TOWN WHERE HIGH RUBBER
FISHING BOOTS AND SPITTOONS

WOULD BE CONSIDERED FORMALWEAR.

OK, PUT THEM IN THE
JEFFERSON SUITE TONIGHT.

MOVE THEM BACK TO THEIR
BOOKED ROOM TOMORROW.

OFFER DINNER ON THE HOUSE
FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

VERY WELL.

I'M GONNA GET SOME MORE
COFFEE IF YOU NEED ME.

MMM, I'LL TRY AND MANAGE
WHILE YOU'RE GONE.

THOUGH, GOD KNOWS,
IT WON'T BE EASY.

COFFEE? YES.

GREAT.

OH, MERINGUE.

YEAH. I THOUGHT I'D DO A VARIATION ON
A BAKED ALASKA FOR DESSERT TONIGHT.

WHAT KIND OF VARIATION?

SEE, I HADN'T
THOUGHT OF THAT YET.

YOU COULD DO THEM
IN THE SHAPE OF ALASKA.

INTERESTING.

OR YOU COULD DO LITTLE
BAKED ALASKAS AND HAWAIIS.

BECAUSE THEY
JOINED THE UNION LAST.

EXACTLY.

OH.

JACKSON.

SOOKIE, HELLO. HELLO.

HEY.

I BROUGHT YOU, UM...

YEAH, GREAT. JUST
PUT THEM DOWN THERE.

RIGHT. OH, YES. HOW'S THAT?

THAT'S GREAT. IT'S JUST PERFECT.

I REALLY LIKE THEM THERE.

YEAH, THEY... THEY DO LOOK
GOOD THERE, DON'T THEY?

YES, THEY DO.

OK. I SHOULD...

UH, SQUASH.

WHAT?

I NEED SOME.

SQUASH? PATTYPAN.

OK, TOMORROW.

SAME TIME?

IF THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

IT IS. IT'S PERFECT.

OK. THEN I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW WITH THE PATTYPAN.

GREAT.

YES.

OK, SO? WHO WALKED
IN ON WHO NAKED?

OH, GOD, THIS IS HORRIBLE.

HE COMES IN AND... HORRIBLE.

WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?

I ASKED IF HE'D LIKE TO
HAVE DINNER SOMETIME.

I KNOW, WEEKS AGO.

HE SAID YES. WHICH IS GOOD.

BUT SINCE THERE WAS NO
DEFINITE PLAN OR DATE ATTACHED,

NOW THE INVITATION IS JUST OUT
THERE FLOATING IN THE UNIVERSE.

OH, MAKE A DEFINITE PLAN.

I CAN'T.

WHY?

WHAT IF HE SAYS NO?

HE ALREADY SAID YES.

YES TO THE AMORPHOUS,
THEORETICAL

"LET'S MAYBE SOMETIME GO OUT AND DO
SOMETHING NOT TOO SPECIFIC" PROPOSITION.

BUT DINNER AND A MOVIE,
IT'S CONCRETE, IT'S REAL.

HE MIGHT SAY NO.

I DOUBT HE WILL.

WHY HASN'T HE ASKED ME?

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE HE THINKS YOU
CHANGED YOUR MIND SINCE YOU ASKED.

WHY WOULD HE THINK THAT?

BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T
MENTIONED IT AGAIN.

BUT I MENTIONED
ONCE. IT'S HIS TURN.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S
SAY IT IS HIS TURN.

YOU CAN SPEND A LOT
OF TIME SITTING AROUND,

WAITING FOR HIM TO
REALIZE THAT IT'S HIS TURN.

OR YOU CAN RUN WITH THE WOLVES

AND MAKE IT YOUR TURN AGAIN.

I DON'T WANT IT TO
BE MY TURN AGAIN.

YOU JUST WANNA LET
THIS OPPORTUNITY PASS?

I WANNA BE THE GIRL.

YOU ARE THE GIRL. THAT'S WHY WE'RE
HAVING THIS CONFUSING CONVERSATION.

YOU THINK I SHOULD ASK HIM OUT?

ON SUNDAY. WHY SUNDAY?

THAT'S YOUR DAY OFF.

OK.

NOW. WHAT?

DO IT NOW BEFORE
YOU LOSE YOUR NERVE.

HE ISN'T BACK TO HIS OFFICE YET.

DOES HE HAVE A CELL PHONE? YES.

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE BUY CELL
PHONES FOR EXACTLY THIS REASON.

SO YOU CAN GET A HOLD
OF THEM ANY TIME YOU WANT.

I THOUGHT PEOPLE
BOUGHT CELL PHONES

IN CASE THEIR CARS
BROKE DOWN AT NIGHT,

AND THEY NEED TO CALL SOMEONE
FOR HELP AND THERE'S PSYCHO KILLERS...

MMM-HMM. CALL HIM.

CALL HIM?

CALL HIM, SOOKIE. CALL HIM.

SHE KNOWS HIS NUMBER BY HEART.

HE IS MY PRODUCE GUY.

VERY CONVENIENT EXCUSE.

UH, JACKSON, IT'S SOOKIE.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD
CALL ME BACK WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE.

SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.

IT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY, SO
DON'T FREAK OUT OR ANYTHING.

THE CARROTS STILL LOOK GOOD.
SEEMS LIKE IT'S A SHAME TO EAT THEM,

SORT OF LIKE YOU SHOULD
PUT THEM IN A VASE...

HANG UP. HANG UP.

CALL ME. BYE.

I GOT HIS VOICE MAIL.

OK, GOOD. IT GIVES YOU TIME TO
PREPARE WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY TO HIM.

MAYBE HAVE A FEW SUGGESTIONS
READY OF PLACES TO GO.

DATE PREP TIME.

YES.

OK, GOOD. I'M... I'M GOOD AT
THAT. AND I'M GOOD AT PREP.

SOOKIE.

SPOON.

RIGHT.

IS THERE ANYTHING
IN THERE ABOUT ME?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOUR NAME WOULDN'T
BE LITHIUM, WOULD IT?

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE IN SCHOOL?

WE HAD A HALF DAY TODAY.
TEACHER CONFERENCES.

SO I THOUGHT I'D COME
BY AND SURPRISE YOU.

WELL, YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH I HATE SURPRISES.

YES, I'M VERY SORRY.

THAT'S FOR SURPRISING ME.

I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON.

I HAVE TO TALK TO
YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

OK, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING, TOO.

COME HERE.

OK, STOP.

SORRY.

NO, STAY.

WHY?

BECAUSE I REALLY NEED TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

ALL RIGHT.

IT'S ABOUT TODD.

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIM?

HE'S MY FRIEND.

I KNOW.

SO, THAT WOULD SIGNIFY
A POSITIVE IMPRESSION.

RIGHT. OK, GOOD.

YES. CAN I KISS YOU NOW?

I'M NOT DONE YET.

FINE, GO AHEAD.

WELL, YOU KNOW LANE.

YEAH, I... I DO.

SHE LIKES TODD.

OK.

AND I THINK THAT THEY
WOULD REALLY HIT IT OFF.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW TODD.

NO, BUT YOU DO. AND
YOU LIKE HIM, YOU SAID SO.

I DID.

OK, THEN. THERE YOU GO.

I WOULD REALLY
LIKE TO KISS YOU NOW.

YES, SO WOULD I.

GOOD. WE AGREE.

I THINK WE SHOULD SET THEM UP.

TODD AND LANE?

YEAH.

WE COULD ALL GO OUT TOGETHER,

LIKE, TO A MOVIE OR SOMETHING.

ON SUNDAY.

RORY, I...

IT WOULD BE REALLY
CASUAL. NO BIG DEAL.

I JUST...

WHAT?

I'M JUST NOT SURE THAT
I... I SEE THEM TOGETHER.

YOU DON'T THINK
TODD WOULD LIKE LANE?

I'M NOT SURE.

LANE IS GREAT.

YEAH, I KNOW.

SHE'S MY BEST
FRIEND. I KNOW THAT.

TODD SHOULD BE SO LUCKY
TO GET A GIRL LIKE HER.

I DIDN'T MEAN...

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU DON'T
THINK SHE'S GOOD OR PRETTY ENOUGH.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HER NOT
BEING PRETTY ENOUGH. LET ME FINISH.

I JUST DON'T KNOW
IF HE'LL LIKE HER

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT
KIND OF GIRL HE DOES LIKE.

BUT IF YOU WANNA DO
THIS, THEN I'LL TALK TO HIM.

YOU WILL?

YEAH.

AND YOU'LL MENTION SUNDAY?

I'LL MENTION SUNDAY.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO, WAS THAT IT?

YEAH, THAT WAS IT.

THEN CAN WE...

KISSING. RIGHT, LET'S GO.

I GIVE UP.

THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

I CAN'T REMEMBER
ANY OF THIS CRAP.

WELL, NOT EVERYONE IS CUT
OUT TO BE THEIR OWN BOSS.

MAYBE YOU ARE MORE
OF A WORKER BEE.

A FOLLOWER, A TICKET RIPPER,

OR THE MAN AT THE CONCERT
WITH THE ORANGE GLOW STICK

DIRECTING YOU WHERE TO PARK.

YOU'RE BAITING ME, AREN'T YOU?

NO. I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO
FAITH IN YOUR APTITUDE.

HE CALLED!

HE CALLED!

AND?

WELL, I DID WHAT YOU SAID.

I HAD IT ALL WORKED OUT AND ASKED
I HIM IF HE'D LIKE TO GO TO DINNER

AT CHEZ FLEUR ON SUNDAY.

CHEZ FLEUR. VERY NICE.

THANK YOU, AND HE
SAID HE'D LOVE TO.

OH, GREAT.

HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE
TO, BUT HIS COUSIN'S IN TOWN

AND IS STAYING WITH
HIM FOR THE WEEK.

WELL, THEN JUST
MAKE IT NEXT WEEK.

YES, SEE, THAT WOULD'VE
BEEN A GOOD OPTION,

HAD I THOUGHT OF IT
WHEN I WAS ON THE PHONE.

BUT INSTEAD I CAME UP
WITH ANOTHER OPTION.

WHICH IS?

THAT WE DOUBLE-DATE WITH
HIS COUSIN RUNE AND YOU.

WHAT?

YES, OK, NOT AS GOOD
AS YOUR OPTION, I AGREE,

BUT IT SEEMED PRETTY
GOOD AT THE TIME,

THOUGH I WASN'T STANDING HERE
WATCHING YOU MAKE THAT FACE.

SOOKIE, NO, I HATE BLIND DATES.

I KNOW, BUT THIS
ISN'T A BLIND DATE.

THIS IS YOU KEEPING
HIS COUSIN COMPANY,

WHILE I HAVE A
DATE WITH JACKSON.

OH, GOD.

LORELAI, PLEASE? I'LL
BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.

YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND.

AND YOU'RE MINE.

I KNOW I AM.

SO WHAT ARE BEST FRIENDS FOR?

OK.

YES?

YES, I'LL GO.

OH, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
YOU WILL NOT REGRET THIS.

PICK ANOTHER PHRASE.

YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO PAY.

MUCH BETTER.

OH, SHUT UP.

RORY.

WHAT?

DIVA GLAM. I'VE GOT IT.

BRING IT UP. HOLD STILL.

NOT TOO MUCH.

NO, JUST ENOUGH
TO SAY, "HEY, SAILOR."

MY STOMACH DOESN'T FEEL
GREAT. I THINK I HAVE THE FLU.

I THINK YOU'RE NERVOUS.

HERE. THANK YOU.

I NEED THE SPARKLY HAIR CLIPS.

OK, I'LL FIND 'EM IN A MINUTE.

YOU LOOK PRETTY.

I DO? OH, THANK YOU.

I SHOULD CANCEL.

OK, LET'S DO YOUR LIPS FIRST.

WHAT IF I'M MAKING AN
IDIOT OUT OF MYSELF?

BY GOING OUT ON A DATE?

WITH MY PRODUCE GUY.

YOU LIKE HIM.

BUT WHAT IF
TONIGHT IS A DISASTER

AND THEN HE WON'T
SELL TO ME ANYMORE?

OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.

YES, SEE?

AND SINCE ALL THE PRODUCE IN THE
ENTIRE WORLD IS IN HIS POSSESSION,

AND ALL THE PRODUCE THAT
WOULD BE GROWN IN THE FUTURE

WILL BE IN HIS POSSESSION,

THEN WE WILL NEVER
AGAIN GET ANY PRODUCE,

ALL OUR VEGETARIAN
CLIENTS WILL DIE.

I'M SCARED.

I KNOW.

I LIKE HIM.

HE LIKES YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
HE'S NOT BEING POLITE?

SOOKIE. NO, I MEAN IT.

IT'S LIKE I CORNERED HIM. HE
FELT TRAPPED. HE HAD TO SAY YES.

HE DID NOT HAVE TO SAY YES.

OH, MY GOD! TECHNICALLY,
I'M HIS EMPLOYER.

SOOKIE. I AM.

I BUY HIS WARES. HIS
LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON ME.

SOOKIE. OH, I'M A
SEXUAL HARASSER.

WELL, THEN YOU NEED
SOME FALSE EYELASHES.

THIS ISN'T FUNNY. I AM NOW
DESPERATE, LONELY, AND A CRIMINAL.

OK. STOP TALKING.

BUT, LIKE, HE... NO.

YOU HAVE EXHAUSTED ALL YOUR
TALKING RIGHTS BY BEING CRAZY.

SIT DOWN, AND LISTEN.

TONIGHT IS A GOOD THING.

WHETHER YOU FIND OUT
THAT YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE,

OR YOU'RE NOT MEANT FOR EACH
OTHER, IT'S STILL A GOOD THING.

AND I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

AND HAVE I DONE A GORGEOUS
JOB ON YOUR FACE OR WHAT?

OH.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU'RE SURE YOU DON'T MIND?

WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS.

I OWE YOU FOREVER.

GOOD TO KNOW.

WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK
TODD WOULD LIKE BETTER?

I DON'T KNOW TODD.

I THINK THE RHINESTONES.

RHINESTONES IT IS.

SO WHAT DID YOU TELL YOUR MOM?

I TOLD HER THAT I WAS GONNA SPEND
THE EVENING HERE WITH YOU GUYS.

WHAT IF SHE CALLS?

WELL, I MENTIONED THAT WE MIGHT GO
RENT SOME VIDEOS OR GO OUT TO EAT,

WHICH COULD EXPLAIN ANY
ABSENCE DURING HER CALL.

VERY THOROUGH.

WITH MY MOM, YOU CAN
LEAVE NOTHING TO CHANCE.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE
IS A NON-KOREAN INVOLVED,

WHO, AS FAR AS I KNOW,
HAS NO MEDICAL ASPIRATIONS.

HEY, SPARKLY CLIPS.

THANK YOU.

OH, I LIKE THE RHINESTONES.

AND FOR A TOUCH OF GLAMOUR.

SO WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA TELL LORELAI?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE WOULDN'T TELL
MY MOM, WOULD SHE?

I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'D FEEL GOOD

ABOUT LYING TO ANOTHER MOTHER.

IT'S LIKE THIS WEIRD
CODE THING WITH HER.

SO WE DON'T TELL HER?

I'M NOT LIKING THAT
OPTION, EITHER.

NO. WE'LL TELL HER THAT WE'RE
MEETING DEAN FOR A MOVIE,

AND THEN WE GO TO THE MOVIE,

AND THEN SOMEBODY WHO JUST
HAPPENS TO BE A FRIEND OF DEAN'S

JUST HAPPENS TO BE
THERE FOR THE SAME MOVIE.

AND SO WE FIGURE THAT IT WOULD
BE COMPLETELY RUDE FOR US

TO NOT ASK SAID PERSON
TO COME SIT WITH US.

I SAY TO HELL WITH GOVERNOR.

YOU RUN DIRECTLY FOR PRESIDENT.

IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

LET'S JUST NOT
THINK ABOUT IT, OK?

I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.

I KNOW.

HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU LOOK TOO GOOD FOR HIM.

JUST WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.

WE'RE GOING.

OH, WHERE?

WE'RE GOING TO A
MOVIE WITH DEAN.

NOTHING DIRTY, VIOLENT,
OR FRENCH, PLEASE.

ARE YOU GONNA BE HOME LATE?

WELL, THERE'S A BIT OF
DOUBT AS TO WHETHER OR NOT

WE'LL EVER ACTUALLY GET
OUT OF THE HOUSE TONIGHT.

SOOKIE, PLEASE!

OK, I'M HERE.

I'M DOWN.

WOW. HEY, WHERE'S YOUR COAT?

IT'S UPSTAIRS.

AREN'T YOU GONNA NEED IT?

OH, WELL, IT GOT CAUGHT
AROUND THE THING

AND WHEN I TWISTED AROUND TO
GET LOOSE, THE CHOKING STARTED.

I'M FREE NOW.

OK, I'LL GET YOU
SOMETHING TO WEAR.

I'D APPRECIATE THAT.

BYE. BYE.

BYE, KITTENS.

BYE, GIRLS.

HUH?

OH, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

IT GOES WITH THE
THEME OF THE EVENING.

THIS IS A REALLY NICE
THING YOU'RE DOING FOR ME.

ANY TIME, SOOKIE.

LAST LOOKS.

I'LL GET IT.

HI.

HI, LORELAI. SORRY WE'RE LATE.

OH, NO PROBLEM.

JUST ADDS A LITTLE MORE
PRIMPING TIME FOR THE LADIES.

HI, JACKSON.

SOOKIE.

H-HI.

HI. HI.

HI. HI.

HI.

OK, UH, DO YOU GUYS
WANNA COME IN FOR A MINUTE?

OH, SURE.

OH, LORELAI, THIS
IS MY COUSIN, RUNE.

RUNE, THIS IS LORELAI.

HI. IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

CAN I TALK TO YOU A MINUTE?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I NEED A MINUTE ALONE.

PLEASE?

EXCUSE US.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THAT'S LORELAI?

YES.

DID YOU SEE HOW TALL SHE IS?

NO, I HAVEN'T NOTICED, ACTUALLY.

HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE?
SHE'S LIKE A BASKETBALL PLAYER.

RUNE, SHE'S A VERY NICE LADY.

YOU KNOW I CANNOT GO
OUT WITH ANYONE THAT TALL.

I MEAN, GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU SET ME UP WITH THAT.

WHAT? WAS THE BEARDED LADY
BUSY TONIGHT OR SOMETHING?

JUST ONE NIGHT, A LITTLE DINNER.

WHEN SHE CAME TO THE DOOR,
IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND

THAT THAT WAS WHO I'D
SPEND THE EVENING WITH.

I THOUGHT IT WAS HER EAST
GERMAN MAID OR SOMETHING.

YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
SHE'S NOT THAT TALL.

SHE'S TALL ENOUGH.

WOULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN?
SHE'S GONNA HEAR YOU.

WITH THOSE BIG
EARS, I BET SHE CAN.

HEY, RUNE, YOU COME INTO
TOWN COMPLETELY UNANNOUNCED.

YOU EAT ALL MY FOOD, YOU CRASH
ON MY COUCH, AND I DON'T SAY A THING.

THE LEAST YOU COULD DO
IS GO OUT FOR ONE NIGHT.

MAKE SOME
CONVERSATION. BE PLEASANT.

WHO KNOWS? MAYBE
YOU'LL EVEN ENJOY IT.

WHY CAN'T WE GO OUT,
JUST THE TWO OF US?

RUNE, PLEASE.

OK.

THANK YOU.

OK.

I THINK WE SHOULD BE GOING.

YES, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

WHAT SIZE SHOE DO YOU WEAR?

UH, SIZE 9.

9? WOW!

I WONDER IF THE
MUSSELS ARE FRESH.

UM, WELL, IT DOES SAY
"FRESH MUSSELS" ON THE MENU.

YES, BUT A LOT OF TIMES THEY
SAY FRESH WHEN THEY'RE FROZEN.

BUT THEY'RE CALLED FRESH BECAUSE
THEY WERE FRESH WHEN THEY WERE FROZEN.

PLUS IF THEY'RE NOT STORED
WITH CORRECT DRAINAGE,

THEY SIT AROUND IN
THEIR OWN EXCRETION,

WHICH IS LIKE
SITTING IN YOUR OWN...

SOOKIE, I BEG OF YOU, DO NOT
ORDER THE FRESH MUSSELS.

BUT IF THEY'RE FRESH...

EVEN IF THEY'RE FRESH.

I WONDER WHERE THEY
GET THEIR CARROTS FROM.

THE CARROT CROP THIS
YEAR HAS BEEN REALLY MEALY.

SO, RUNE.

YES?

WHAT IS THAT? RUNE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN, WHERE DID
RUNE COME FROM?

I'M FROM OUT OF TOWN. I
THOUGHT JACKSON TOLD YOU.

HE DID TELL ME. I
MEANT THE NAME "RUNE."

YOU JUST DON'T MEET
A LOT OF RUNES, RIGHT?

IT'S MY DAD'S NAME.

OH, WHERE'D HE GET IT?

I DON'T KNOW. FROM
HIS PARENTS, I GUESS.

OK, DONE WITH THAT TOPIC.

OH, THE WAITER, THANK THE LORD.

WHAT CAN I GET YOU THIS EVENING?

I'D LIKE TO ASK ABOUT THE
MUSSELS. ARE THEY FRESH?

YES, THEY ARE.

WHERE EXACTLY ARE
YOUR CARROTS FROM?

WELL...

IS THERE ANYTHING ON THIS
MENU THAT ISN'T FRENCH?

I'LL JUST HAVE A MARTINI,
AND KEEP THEM COMING.

THANKS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING.

THEY'RE FINE.

I AM NOT LOOKING AT THEM.

I'M LOOKING AT THE
WORLD AROUND ME.

THE WORLD IS FINE, TOO.

I JUST WANNA MAKE
SURE THEY'RE HAVING FUN.

THEY'RE HAVING FUN.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

THEY AREN'T IN PRISON OR IN SOME
SORT OF MEDIEVAL TORTURE CHAMBER.

WHEN YOU MEASURE IT THAT WAY.

THE AMAZING THING

IS ALL THESE GIRLS ARE SCREAMING

AND NONE OF THEM
ARE GETTING THE JOKE.

HE'S PLAYING THE CHARACTER OF A
ROCK STAR. I MEAN, BECK IS A GENIUS

AND ALL THESE STUPID
GIRLS ARE SCREAMING AT HIM

JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE BUYING
INTO THE ROCK STAR IMAGE.

I LOVE BECK. I UNDERSTAND BECK.

AND THE FOO FIGHTERS. GODS.

I MEAN, HAVE YOU HEARD THE
ACOUSTIC VERSION OF EVERLONG?

I CAN'T EVEN TALK
ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHO I'VE
REALLY GOTTEN INTO LATELY?

THE VELVET UNDERGROUND.

OH, AND NICO. SHE IS AMAZING.

DEPRESSING, GERMAN, SCARY CHICK.

I HAVE THE C.D. IF YOU
WANNA BORROW IT SOMETIME.

WHAT... WHAT KIND
OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?

I DON'T KNOW. WHATEVER.

FUGAZI?

WHAT?

THE BAND ON YOUR SHIRT.

OH.

OH, COOL PICTURE.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S ON YOUR SHIRT?

OH, IT'S MY SISTER'S.

OH.

WHAT ABOUT BOOKS?
DO YOU LIKE BOOKS?

MMM.

MAGAZINES?

WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?
WHAT ARE YOU MAJORING IN?

I WAS THINKING ABOUT GYM.

GYM?

IF I MAJOR IN GYM,

I ONLY HAVE TO TAKE 4
CLASSES MY SENIOR YEAR.

OH, COOL.

GYM?

WE WORK ON OUR BIKES TOGETHER.

HE'S GOT THE GOOD TOOLS.

COME ON IN. I HAVE
YOUR TICKETS READY.

IT WAS SO FUNNY. OH,
GOD! YOU REMEMBER?

I REMEMBER.

WHAT WAS RORY, 8?

I BELIEVE SHE WAS.

OH, GOD, THAT MUD PIE
FIASCO HAUNTED ME FOR A YEAR.

I MEAN, HERS LOOKED
JUST LIKE MINE.

OF COURSE, I USED HOMEMADE
CHOCOLATE COOKIES, BITTERSWEET GANACHE,

AND SHE USED, WELL, MUD.

YOU KNOW, BUT THEY
DID LOOK DAMN SIMILAR.

UH, SO, SOOKIE HAS
BEEN EXPERIMENTING

WITH, UM, DIFFERENT
FORMS OF BAKING

FOR AS LONG AS I'VE KNOWN HER.

OH, WELL, THAT'S
VERY INTERESTING.

YEAH.

HEY, LORELAI, REMEMBER WHEN I DECIDED TO
TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE STRAWBERRY TARTS,

AND THE ENTIRE
KITCHEN WAS STAINED RED

AND I HAD TO REPAINT
THAT ONE WALL RED

JUST TO MAKE IT LOOK NORMAL?
YOU REMEMBER, WASN'T IT?

IT WAS. SOOKIE, LET'S GO,
UM, POWDER OUR NOSES.

YOU'D NEED A LOT OF POWDER.

WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK. COME ON, HON.

OK.

HONEY,

NO MATTER HOW MANY
BEERS YOU BUY ME TONIGHT,

I'M NOT THE ONE
GOING HOME WITH YOU.

SO I WOULD CONCENTRATE
ON THE ONE WHO MIGHT.

WHAT?

YOU HAVEN'T SAID A WORD
TO JACKSON ALL NIGHT.

I HAVEN'T, HAVE I? NO.

I KNOW, I'M JUST,
OH, SO NERVOUS.

YOU'RE NERVOUS?

YOU DON'T HAVE SOME GUY
STARING AT YOU LIKE HE'S CHER,

AND YOU'RE THE KID FROM MASK.

I CAN'T THINK OF
ANYTHING TO SAY.

TO JACKSON?

YES, TO JACKSON.

YES, BECAUSE TO ME, TONIGHT,
THERE'S BEEN NO "OFF" BUTTON.

I... I JUST...

UH, THIS PLACE IS TOO
FANCY, MY HAIR IS TOO TIGHT,

AND THIS DRESS IS ALL WRONG.

AND HE LOOKS REALLY
GOOD, DOESN'T HE?

YEAH, HE DOES.

I'M BEING CRAZY. I
KNOW I'M BEING CRAZY.

NO, YOU'RE PUTTING TOO MUCH
PRESSURE ON THIS WHOLE EVENING.

LOOK, IN 5 SECONDS, I
COULD TAKE YOUR HAIR DOWN,

WE COULD GO
SOMEPLACE MORE CASUAL,

AND PERSONALLY, I THINK
YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT THE DRESS.

REALLY? YES.

COME ON, LET'S GO TO LUKE'S.

YOU KNOW, HAVE
BURGERS, TALK, RELAX.

NO PRESSURE, NO STRESS.

UNLESS I WIND UP STEPPING
ON RUNE, WHICH MIGHT BE FUN.

THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

OK.

COME ON. ALL RIGHT.

OK, WHAT ABOUT MOVIES?

YOU MUST HAVE A FAVORITE MOVIE.

YES, I DO!

GREAT. WHAT IS IT?

BEETHOVEN.

BEETHOVEN? THE ONE WITH THE DOG?

THERE'S THIS SCENE WHERE THIS
LITTLE DOG IS RUNNING AROUND

WITH A HUGE
CABBAGE IN ITS MOUTH.

OH, MAN, IT'S CLASSIC.

I SHOT MY DR. PEPPER
RIGHT OUT OF MY NOSE!

I SWEAR.

EWW.

WELCOME TO LUKE'S.

WELL, THIS IS MUCH BETTER.

IT IS, ISN'T IT?

GRAB A SEAT, I'LL
GET SOME MENUS.

HEY.

HEY.

4 MENUS, ONE COFFEE,
AND AN ANVIL, PLEASE.

WHAT'S THE ANVIL FOR?

FOR RUNE.

WHAT'S A RUNE?

PLEASE, NOT THAT QUESTION AGAIN.

OK.

HERE YOU GO.

MIND IF I HANG OUT HERE A SEC?

WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE?

SOOKIE AND JACKSON
ARE ON THEIR FIRST DATE.

SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL.

I THINK I'D WEAR
BLUE TO THE WEDDING.

WHO'S THE OTHER GUY?

THAT'S JACKSON'S
COUSIN. HE'S MY DATE.

LUCKY GIRL.

YES, I THINK SO.

HE IS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

EVEN LESS THRILLED WITH
THE MATCH-UP THAN I AM.

YOU'RE KIDDING. WHY?

I'M TOO TALL.

GET OUT.

I'M SERIOUS.

DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND
HOW GREAT THAT IS?

YOU CAN GET ALL THE
STUFF FROM THE TOP SHELF.

EXACTLY. THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT I BRING TO A RELATIONSHIP.

EXPLAIN THAT TO HIM, WILL YOU?

MMM.

LUKE, THAT IS AN EXCEPTIONALLY
GOOD BATCH OF COFFEE.

YEAH? HELLO!

I ADDED A LITTLE NUTMEG.

REALLY? YES.

THAT'S VERY RICHARD
SIMMONS OF YOU.

WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY?

CHICKS DIG A MAN
WITH A FEMININE SIDE.

OH.

OK, I'M REALLY BORED.

SIT DOWN. WE'RE
ABOUT READY TO ORDER.

I DON'T WANNA ORDER. I DON'T
WANNA EAT HERE. I WANNA GO.

RUNE.

JACKSON. LOOK, I CAME
OUT WITH YOU TONIGHT

UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT I'D HAVE FUN.

FIRST, I GET STUCK WITH HER.

THEN I GET DRAGGED TO
A FRENCH RESTAURANT,

THEN I GET DRAGGED OUT OF A FRENCH
RESTAURANT. GOD KNOWS WHERE I AM NOW.

OH, YOU'RE AT LUKE'S.

I'VE BEEN VERY PATIENT, JACKSON.

SUNDAY NIGHT'S ALMOST
OVER. I WANNA GO BOWLING.

WELL, I...

AND I'D LIKE YOU TO
GO BOWLING WITH ME.

OH, WELL,

I GUESS, WE SHOULD...

DON'T GO!

REALLY?

YES. STAY HERE. WE HAVEN'T
REALLY EVEN STARTED OUR DATE YET.

NO, WE HAVEN'T.

SORRY, RUNE. YOU'RE
ON YOUR OWN TONIGHT.

FINE! I'LL JUST SEE
YOU AT HOME THEN.

MAYBE.

BYE, LOON.

FINALLY.

GUESS YOU'LL ONLY
NEED 3 MENUS NOW.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU MAKE UP
3 FABULOUS CHEESEBURGERS

AND SEND 2 OVER THERE?
I'LL HAVE MINE HERE.

FIRST, I GOTTA WATCH A
MAN WALK OUT ON YOU,

THEN I HAVE TO WATCH YOU
EAT ALONE? NOPE. TOO PATHETIC.

I'M NOT EATING
ALONE. YOU'RE HERE.

I'M WORKING.

YEAH, BUT AFTER 3
CHEESEBURGERS, YOU'RE DONE,

UNLESS YOU'RE EXPECTING
ELIJAH TO STOP BY.

OK, FINE.

5 CARD DRAW.

OH, YOU'RE ON.

MMM-HMM. MMM-HMM.

UM.

GIVE ME 4.

NO, 4 MORE.

YOU CAN'T HAVE 4 MORE,
THOSE ARE THE 4 I DEALT YOU.

WELL, THESE DON'T
HELP ME, AND I'VE VOWED

TO DISCARD ANYTHING
NEGATIVE IN MY LIFE.

FIRST RUNE, AND
NOW THESE 4 CARDS.

WHATEVER YOU SAY.

OH, MUCH BETTER. THANK YOU.

RUNE KNEW WHEN TO RUN AWAY.

HA!

GOD, THAT'S NICE.

YEP.

THE WHOLE "FIRST-DATE-
BEGINNING-OF-THE-RELATIONSHIP" GLOW.

EVERYTHING'S NEW AND EXCITING.

EVERY JOKE IS HILARIOUS.

EVERY LITTLE
TOUCH IS INCREDIBLE.

GOD, THAT'S A GOOD FEELING.

IT IS AT THAT.

I MISS THAT.

YOU'LL HAVE IT AGAIN.

I GUESS.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE,
SOMETIME WE COULD...

WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?

WHAT?

LANE SAID SHE'S
WITH YOU AND RORY.

SLOW DOWN.

I CALL, NO ANSWER. I THINK
THEY'RE AT VIDEO STORE.

I CALL AGAIN, NO ANSWER. I
CALL 3RD TIME, NO ANSWER!

YOU HAD A LOT OF
TIME ON YOUR HANDS.

I HAVE TO KNOW
WHERE THE GIRLS ARE.

THEY SAID THEY'RE GOING
TO A MOVIE. WITH WHO?

THEY WERE GONNA MEET DEAN.

A BOY? YOU LET
THEM GO WITH A BOY?

MRS. KIM, DEAN IS
RORY'S BOYFRIEND.

JUST BECAUSE YOU LET YOUR
DAUGHTER RUN AROUND WITH BOYS,

DOESN'T MEAN I LET MINE.

I THOUGHT YOU KNEW.

I DIDN'T KNOW! THEY COULD BE
ANYWHERE, THEY COULD BE DOING ANYTHING.

SMOKING OR DRINKING,
OR BUYING DRUGS!

THEY'RE AT THE MOVIES.
THERE'S NO DRUGS THERE.

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE
THE REAL RED VINES.

I NEED TO FIND THEM.

I'M COMING WITH.

GOOD FLICK. GOOD FLICK.

YEAH, NOT BAD.

LANE, WHAT DID YOU THINK?

UH, I THINK IT'S REALLY LATE
AND I SHOULD BE GETTING HOME.

REALLY?

YEAH, BUT IT'S BEEN FUN.

NO, COME ON. LET'S GO GET
SOME ICE CREAM OR SOMETHING.

EAT IT REALLY FAST, GET THAT
"FREEZY BRAIN THING" GOING. IT'S COOL.

SO TEMPTING, AND YET...

LANE KIM!

MY MOM.

MY MOM.

2 MOMS. THAT'S GOTTA BE BAD.

MOM, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO...

MOM, I CAN...

SO NOT THE TIME, RORY.

YOU LIED TO ME. I'M SORRY.

GET HOME, RIGHT NOW!

WHOA, ROUGH FAMILY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OH, BITS OF INFORMATION WERE LEFT
OUT OF THE MOM PACKETS TONIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

OK, MOTHER AND DAUGHTER NUMBER
2 ARE LEAVING NOW. SAY BYE, RORY.

BYE.

I'LL, UH, I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

BAD.

I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.

YEAH. BYE, DEAN.

THAT'S RORY'S MOM?
SHE'S A BABE, MAN!

AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

I KNOW.

YOU LIED TO ME. ME! WHAT'S
THAT NONSENSE ALL ABOUT?

I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. I
KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.

DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

BUT LANE REALLY WANTED
TO GO OUT WITH TODD.

AND SHE COULDN'T
TELL HER MOTHER.

SO I DIDN'T TELL YOU. SO YOU
WOULDN'T HAVE TO LIE FOR US.

YOU LIED TO ME SO I WOULDN'T
HAVE TO LIE TO MRS. KIM?

YEAH. OH, MY GOD. YOU
REALLY ARE MY DAUGHTER.

I'M SO SORRY.

I HAVE TO KNOW WHERE
YOU ARE, AT ALL TIMES,

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU
HAVE MY SHOES ON. I KNOW.

THIS WHOLE TRUST THING ONLY
WORKS IF IT GOES BOTH WAYS, KID.

I HATED DOING IT.

GOOD.

WOULD YOU HAVE? WHAT?

LIED FOR US? TO MRS. KIM?

YEAH. NO.

WHY? BECAUSE THAT LADY'S SCARY.

MOM.

I CAN'T LIE TO ANOTHER MOTHER.

THAT'S BREAKING THE CODE.

SO THEN WHAT WERE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO TONIGHT?

LOOK, I KNOW MRS. KIM AND
ROBERT DUVALL IN THE GREAT SANTINI

SHARE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE.

BUT SHE IS LANE'S MOM.

SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL
LANE SHE CAN'T DO SOMETHING.

YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THAT, AND
I REALLY HAVE TO RESPECT THAT.

SO WE WERE IN A NO-WIN
SITUATION TONIGHT?

YEP. GREAT.

SORRY.

HEY, YOU KNOW THE ONE GOOD
THING WE ALL LEARNED FROM THIS?

WHAT?

THAT I'M A BABE.

HEY.

WHAT'S UP, RAPUNZEL?

DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,

BUT IN ALL MY VARIOUS FANTASIES
ABOUT WHO MAY APPEAR AT THIS WINDOW,

YOU NEVER ACTUALLY
MADE THE LIST.

SO HOW ARE YOU? I HAVEN'T
HEARD FROM YOU IN DAYS.

I'M OK, I GUESS.

I WAS AFRAID TO CALL.

I THINK THAT'S BEST FOR NOW.

YOUR MOM'S REALLY MAD, HUH?

THE WORDS CONVENT AND
SIBERIA WERE USED SEVERAL TIMES,

AND AT LEAST ONCE AS A COMBO.

I'M REALLY SORRY, LANE.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE
ARRANGED IT. I SHOULD'VE...

YOU ARRANGED IT BECAUSE I ASKED
YOU TO, AND I'M REALLY GLAD YOU DID.

YOU ARE?

IF YOU HADN'T SET
ME UP WITH TODD,

I'D STILL BE IN LOVE WITH HIM.

NOT THE GUY FOR YOU, HUH?

NOT THE GUY FOR ANYBODY
WHO CAN READ, WRITE,

TALK, OR FUNCTION ON
A BASIC HUMAN LEVEL.

I'M SORRY.

I WAS SO BORED THAT NIGHT,
I COULDN'T SEE STRAIGHT.

I'VE BEEN ON KOREAN MEDITATION
WEEKENDS THAT HAVE HAD MORE LAUGHS.

HE LIKED YOU,
THOUGH. DEAN TOLD ME.

I KNOW. HE CALLED HERE.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

I PRETENDED TO BE MY MOTHER,

AND WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO
SPEAK TO HIM. WAS THAT MEAN?

I THINK HE'LL SURVIVE.

HE AND DEAN WENT
MUFFLER SHOPPING TODAY.

THAT'S NICE.

SO, HOW LONG BEFORE
YOU CAN GET OUT?

I DON'T KNOW.

RIGHT NOW, I HAVE TO BE IN THE HOUSE AT
ALL TIMES, EXCEPT FOR SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

SHE DIDN'T GIVE YOU
ANY TIME FRAME AT ALL?

NOPE.

I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU, TOO.

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

YEAH. DON'T TELL ANYONE
I WENT OUT WITH TODD, OK?

I PROMISE.

I GOTTA GO. BYE.

I... I...

YOU BREAK, YOU BUY.

BUT IT WAS STICKING
OUT IN THE AISLE.

YOU BREAK, YOU BUY!

BUT I DIDN'T PUT
IT IN THE AISLE.

YOU HAVE EYES?
YES? YES, I HAVE EYES.

THESE EYES WORK?
YES, THESE EYES WORK.

THEY CAN MAKE OUT
SHAPES, SIZES, COLORS?

YES, THEY CAN
DO ALL THAT, BUT...

EYES WORK! THEY
SEE LAMP IN AISLE.

THEY SEND MESSAGE TO
BRAIN: "LAMP IN AISLE, MOVE."

YOU MOVE, YOU DON'T BREAK LAMP.

YOU HAVE NO EYES, NOT MY PROBLEM,
THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND THEM.

YOU BREAK, YOU BUY!

WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS.

OH, HELLO.

HI.

SO, I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD
MAYBE TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE.

I'M WORKING.

RIGHT. WELL, UM, THIS IS GONNA
BE SO QUICK, YOU'LL BE AMAZED.

FINE. COME.

LOOK, I AM, UH, REALLY SORRY

ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
THE OTHER NIGHT.

RORY'S NEVER LIED TO
ME LIKE THAT BEFORE.

THAT YOU KNOW OF.

NO, I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME,

AND IT DEFINITELY WAS THE LAST.

FINE.

SO, I JUST DIDN'T
WANT YOU TO FEEL

LIKE YOU COULDN'T SEND LANE
OVER TO OUR HOUSE ANYMORE.

UM, BECAUSE YOU CAN, BELIEVE ME.

THOSE GIRLS GO NOWHERE
WITHOUT ME KNOWING ABOUT IT.

IN FACT, I WAS
THINKING OF HAVING

SOME HOUSE ARREST
ANKLE BRACELETS MADE.

YOU KNOW?

MAYBE, UH, CUTE ONES WITH A
LEOPARD PRINT, OR ZEBRA STRIPES.

MAYBE A LITTLE GLITTER DESIGN.

LANE WON'T BE COMING OVER.
SHE'LL STAY IN OUR HOUSE.

WELL, RIGHT, I WAS
TALKING ABOUT LATER.

I MEAN, SHE'S NOT GONNA BE
GROUNDED FOREVER, IS SHE?

LANE LIED TO ME, AND
SHE MUST BE PUNISHED.

I TOTALLY AGREE.

BUT LANE IS A REALLY GOOD KID.

I... I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER MET A KID

WHO RESPECTS HER PARENTS
MORE THAN LANE RESPECTS YOU.

LYING IS NOT SHOWING RESPECT.

OH, SHE'S 16. SHE HAD A...
A CRUSH ON A... ON A BOY.

LANE IS NOT ALLOWED TO DATE BOYS
UNLESS WE HAVE APPROVED THEM.

SHE KNOWS THAT.
SHE KNOWS OUR RULES.

SHE BROKE THEM.
THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

OK. YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT TEENAGERS SOMETIMES SLIP UP.

I DON'T CARE WHAT TEENAGERS DO.

I CARE WHAT LANE DOES.

YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK

TO JUST LOCK A KID UP
AND THROW AWAY THE KEY.

I DIDN'T THROW AWAY THE
KEY. IT'S IN THE KITCHEN.

OK. WELL, I WAS
TALKING SYMBOLICALLY,

BUT ALL RIGHT, I...
I... I'M WITH YOU NOW.

LOOK, WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, MY
PARENTS TRIED TO KEEP ME LOCKED UP.

THEY TRIED TO FORCE ME TO
BECOME WHAT THEY HAD IN MIND.

AND, NOW, I'M NOT TALKING
EXACTLY ABOUT LANE HERE,

BUT IN MY CASE, IT
REALLY DIDN'T WORK.

YOU BLAME YOUR PARENTS
FOR GETTING PREGNANT?

NO. I JUST THINK SOMETIMES,
IF I'D HAD A LITTLE MORE SPACE,

OR SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME,

THINGS MIGHT HAVE
TURNED OUT DIFFERENT.

NOW, I GOT LUCKY.

BECAUSE HAVING RORY...

TOTALLY THE BEST THING
THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.

BUT LET'S BE HONEST.

I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT
RORY TO TURN OUT LIKE ME.

I DON'T WANT LANE TO
TURN OUT LIKE YOU, EITHER.

I BELIEVE THAT'S THE FIRST THING

YOU AND I HAVE EVER AGREED ON.

I JUST WANT LANE TO BE SAFE.

I JUST WANT RORY TO BE SAFE.

SO I'M GONNA GO NOW.

HEY,

I THINK YOU ARE DOING
A GREAT JOB WITH LANE.

SHE'S A REALLY GREAT KID.

I JUST WANTED TO
PUT MY 2 CENTS IN,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO. SO.

BYE.

I KNOW, "YOU BREAK,
YOU BUY." I HEARD EARLIER.

THAT'S $35, RIGHT?

AN "A" MINUS. I AM
VERY IMPRESSED.

AND ANNOYING BOY
IN BACK OF ME... YES?

"B" PLUS. LOSER.

I KNOW. IT'S ALL VERY EXCITING.

OOH, HEY, DID I TELL YOU

THAT SOOKIE AND JACKSON
HAVE ANOTHER DATE TONIGHT?

WHAT IS THAT, THE 3RD
ONE THIS WEEK? YEAH.

THAT IS SO GREAT. I KNOW IT IS.

OF COURSE, IF SHE TELLS ME
THE STORY OF HOW JACKSON

CULTIVATES HIS OWN MEALWORMS TO
HELP FERTILIZE HIS PLANTS ONE MORE TIME,

I'M GONNA ROMEO
AND JULIET THEM BOTH.

IT'S SWEET. MEALWORMS.

GROSS, BUT SWEET.

HEY, YOU KNOW THE RULES:
NO PAGES BEFORE FRENCH FRIES.

OH MY GOD, IT'S
LANE. YOU'RE KIDDING.

GIVE ME YOUR CELL PHONE, QUICK.

WHERE ARE YOU
GOING? I WANNA HEAR.

I'M GOING OUTSIDE. WHY?

LUKE HATES CELL PHONES. SO?

I DON'T WANT TO INCUR
THE WRATH OF LUKE.

WHY NOT? IT'S FUN.

I'LL BE BACK.

GOODY-GOODY.

RORY?

LANE?

I'M STANDING IN THE YARD!
I'M STANDING IN THE YARD!

OH, MY GOD! SHE LET YOU OUT?

I CAN GO AS FAR AS THE SIGN!

THAT'S SO GREAT!

HI. HEY.

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
SINCE THE OTHER NIGHT.

EVERYTHING TURN OUT OK?

OH, YEAH, FINE.

THE DATING WORLD
OF 16-YEAR-OLD GIRLS.

VERY EXCITING STUFF.

I BET.

OH, UH, COFFEE?

DO YOU HAVE TO ASK?

YOU KNOW, I HAD A GOOD TIME
THE OTHER NIGHT WITH THE CARDS...

OH, YEAH. ME, TOO. GOOD.

YEAH, IN FACT,

YOU RUSHED OUT OF HERE

BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO, UH...

A CHANCE TO?

KICK YOUR ASS IN POKER.

YOU WISH!

BURGER?

2, AND FRIES.

MAYBE WE COULD
DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME.

OH, YEAH, WELL, I...
I WOULD LIKE THAT.

HERE. OH.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

LANE'S ALLOWED
OUT FOR 15 MINUTES.

I'M GONNA GO STAND ACROSS
THE STREET AND YELL AT HER.

STILL WANT YOUR BURGER?

I'LL BE BACK.

YELL "HI" FOR ME!