Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 1, Episode 33 - It's Magic - full transcript

¶ Just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ¶

¶ A tale of a fateful trip ¶

¶ That started from
this tropic port ¶

¶ Aboard this tiny ship ¶

¶ The mate was
a mighty sailin' man ¶

¶ The Skipper brave and sure ¶

¶ Five passengers
set sail that day ¶

¶ For a three hour tour ¶

¶ A three hour tour ¶

[thunder rumbling]

¶ The weather started
getting rough ¶



¶ The tiny ship was tossed ¶

¶ If not for the courage
of the fearless crew ¶

¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶

¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶

¶ The ship set ground
on the shore ¶

¶ Of this uncharted
desert isle ¶

¶ With Gilligan ¶

¶ The Skipper too ¶

¶ The millionaire ¶

¶ And his wife ¶

¶ The movie star ¶

¶ And the rest ¶

¶ Are here on Gilligan's isle ¶

Gilligan, you got something big
at the end of the line.



Hang on to it.

Wait. I'll be down there
and help you.

'Hang on, Gilligan.
Keep pulling.'

'I'm coming, Gilligan.
Hang on.'

- Let me take over.
- Sure, Skipper. Sure.

It's a huge fish. There will be
enough food for a week.

[pulley screeching]

"Food for a week." It's not
a fish. It's a box.

Well-well, we can have
a box lunch.

Very funny, Gilligan.
Very funny.

Well, come on.
Help me pull it in.

So we can see
what's in it.

[grunting]

Watch your fingers.

Let's get it.

[gasping]

Pull! Heave!

I wonder what's in it.

I don't know. It's such a big
crate. It could be anything.

No, it couldn't be anything.
It couldn't be Denver, Colorado.

No, Gilligan.
It couldn't be Denver, Colorado.

- Skipper. It says, Raft.
- Raft! Raft!

We're saved, Gilligan.
We're saved.

It might be an inflatable raft.
We can get off the island.

[screaming]
Yeah. Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Maybe it's gotta sail.

We can step up side
and the sail catch the wind..

Wait till you hear
what's in this box..

Yeah, Professor, a great big
raft. The raft in the island.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a
minute. It doesn't say raft.

It says
The Great...Raftini.

What's a Great Raftini?

I don't know but it's better
than a small raftini.

Sounds like somebody's name.
This could've fallen off a ship.

Yeah, a ship to
Australia, Japan, India..

- Gilligan?
- ...France, England, Italy--

Gilligan, would like to try
for the rest of the world?

'May I make a suggestion?'

Why don't we take it to the hut,
open it up and find out?

Yeah, and maybe
we'll be saved anyway.

Maybe Raftini is Italian
for raft.

Yeah. Hey, let's get it
outta here.

Gilligan, will you get
the loose boards off?

Let's get it off.

Oh, told you that.

Ha ha ha.
Hello--

What's going on?

We found this box
down by the lagoon.

Hopefully, something
to get us off the island.

Would be great to be
in a beauty shop.

Well, that does it.

Just what we needed.
A full dress suit.

Look at the bright side,
Skipper.

When we get off the island,
one of us can go formal.

Just as well be you.

Skipper, there's
something alive.

- 'Rabbit!'
- Where? Where?

(Ginger)
'On top of your head.'

(Professor)
'Well, it must have come out
of the hat.'

Oh, shouldn't it.
Watch this.

Here as you'll see,
is an ordinary cape.

Nothing here.
Nothing here.

But...the hand is quicker
than the eye.

- Hey, wow!
- How about that?

Well, obviously,
The Great Raftini is a magician.

Exactly.

Oh, but Ginger, how'd you
do that trick?

Well, when I first broke
into showbiz

I worked with a magician.
He taught me everything.

Did he teach how to get
a rabbit off somebody's head?

Uh-huh, count to a 100 by 3's.

Three, six, nine..

Oh, what a disappointment.

Here we find something we think
is going to help.

And it's a bunch of tricks.

We find something I think is
gonna help. And it's tricks.

- I just said that, Gilligan.
- I thought I heard it before.

Wait a minute. You know these
tricks might save our lives.

In case, we are ever attacked
by savages again.

You remember when those head
hunters landed here?

You don't think
they're gonna come back?

Even if they do. Are we gonna
put on a show for them?

Skipper's right. What are we
gonna charge? Two bucks a head?

Ninety seven, one hundred.

- It's gone. Skipper, it's gone.
- It is gone!

Never mind about that.
Let me make myself clear.

If each of us can learn
a few tricks--

I get it, Professor.
Of course.

We'll learn the trick and
they'll think we are Gods.

Yeah, we'll learn the trick and
they'll think we are Gods.

Gilligan, why must you repeat
everything that I say?

It's easier than thinking up
things by myself.

Ginger can teach us all
some magic tricks.

If she still
remembers them.

Well, of course, I do.
Watch this.

Gilligan, say abracadabra
and pass your hand over this.

Abracadabra.

Oh, wow!

[sniff]

[sneeze]

Boy, Ginger. I gotta take
my hat off to you.

I know.
200 by 3's.

Three, six, nine.. Stuck.

...twelve.

How are they?
Fine, give me the road.

Ho ho now, I'm on the highway.

Has everybody happy.

Ah, so much for my opening.

- Now, what have we here?
- A walking stick.

So would appear
to the naked eye.

If you'll pardon
the expression.

But as we say in showbiz.
Ha ha. Wah-la-a. Ha ha ha.

Oh, how lovely.
Flags of every nation.

Oh, those on the gold standard,
of course.

I think that
you've a trick for me.

- Yes.
- Unless agitation.

Now, give me a small bill.
Nothing very large.

I'm afraid I might
make a mistake.

Yeah, just happened
to have a 50 dol--. No.

Five dollar bill
in my small change pocket.

- There you are, my precious.
- Now. You go sit down, dear.

In the loungers, of course.
Of course.

Now, what was it Ginger
told me to do?

Oh, yes. I know.
Tear this like that.

And again like that.
Again like that.

And then, fold it like this.
Like this.

Ooh, it's a tough bill.
Ooh..

Like that.
Like that.

Now, you be good in there
and stay together.

[gasps]

Oh, that's working.
It's working.

Oh, I'm marvelous.

I did it.
Thurston, I did it.

Darling, of course.
Sure, you did.

Yes, you've rearranged Lincoln.
His beard is now on the top.

Oh, how charming.
I made a Beetle out of him.

Good show, Lovey.
Good show.

- Come in. Come in.
- Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Howell.

Can't you see we're in the
middle of dress rehearsal?

- I wanna show you my trick.
- Of course, you can.

But understand that Lovey and I
go on next to closing.

Can I show
my trick now?

Quickly because Mr. Howell
and I are about to retire.

Sleep that is. We retired
financially, years ago.

Careful investments
and all that.

- I need a volunteer.
- Oh, volunteer.

Here we have
an ordinary pair of handcuffs.

I'll take one,
hook it onto Mr. Howell.

- Oh, yes!
- And one and hook it onto me.

Now, without the aid
of any mechanical device.

I shall release ourselves.
Abracadabra.

Thank you very much.

Mumbo-jumbo. Voodoo-voodoo.
Open Sesame.

- Thought of the magic word yet?
- Not yet.

While you're thinking, I've
to do the morning calisthenics.

- Join me?
- Do I have a choice?

Yeah, well, alright.

Have you thought yet?

No, I think
it was my poor wrist.

Well, better concentrate.
We'll spend our lives together

like Tweetle Dee
and Tweetle Dumb.

I don't have to tell you
who is Dee and who is Dumb.

Open up, please. Pretty, please.
With sugar on it.

No, it will never work.
Aah, it worked.

See you later, Mr. Howell.

Alright, Gilligan.

Let's try calisthenics
one more time.

Oh, you're doing marvelous.
It's coming easy.

Now, you try, Gilligan.

Ah! Perfect. Gilligan,
you're a great prestidigitator.

I know I'd be a great magician.
Can't wait to try it on Skipper.

I don't know, Professor.
Still looks like a crate to me.

Oh, no. Once we drape the front.
It'll be disappearing cabinet.

Even if other tricks fail

this will be enough
to frighten those savages.

Suppose so. I hope Ginger still
knows how to do that trick.

Well, we'll know
soon enough.

Give me a hand, Skipper.
We'll spread this drape.

Skipper. Let me show
my new trick.

Not now, Gilligan.

It'll only take a second.
Watch this. See the egg? Watch.

(Skipper)
'Hey, that's good, Gilligan.'

Yes, Skipper. Let's try it
on you. Take the egg.

Place it inside the ear.
Shove. Now come on, Skipper.

Let me have the egg.
Come on, open your mouth.

Gilligan, it's coming
out here.

Oh, I'm sorry.
It-it worked for me.

I shoved it in
and it came out my mouth.

That one's is easy for you.
There's nothing in between.

(Mary Ann)
'Come and get it.'

- Breakfast time. Come on.
- You go ahead.

I've already had my egg.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Oh ho. I'm simply famished.

I'm so hungry, I could eat
domestic caviar.

Yes. Oh, dear.
Forgive me, please.

I knew Thurston couldn't
do this trick.

Ginger, how do you get these
cheap bracelets off?

Oh, it works electronically,
Mrs. Howell.

You see, you say anything you
want into the handcuffs

'and it breaks the beam
and snaps them open.'

Oh, it snaps at me.
Yes, let me try.

National Consolidated ACME.

I have it, dear.

A-T-&-T.

Ah-h, blue-chip, every time.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Hold it. Don't anybody move.

The last time I heard that
somebody stole my money.

What now, Gilligan?

I'm gonna do a trick
that even Ginger doesn't know.

I'm gonna pull the cloth off the
table without moving anything.

Ready?
Whoa..

- Oh! I'm sorry.
- Never mind, Gilligan.

What's wrong with scrambled eggs
or scrambled coconuts or scram--

Gilligan, take all those tricks
and put them in the storage hut.

But I haven't finished
my breakfast yet.

You finished breakfast
for everybody.

Now, I want you to do
as I say and get--

(all)
Get out. Get out.

First, it's Bravo, Bravo, Bravo.
Then it's Boo, Boo, Boo.

What do you expect with audience
that is fickle, fickle, fickle.

'Too bad about breakfast.'

Oh, well. We can eat a bigger
lunch. Thanks to Gilligan.

In the mean time,
I suggest watching Ginger

run through the disappearing
cabinet trick.

- And make sure it really works.
- Oh, that's a good idea.

I got a better suggestion,
Professor.

I suggest, we put Gilligan in
and turn it on full blast.

That boy did ruin my breakfast.

Cost $95.

That shirt cost $95?

Just to clean it.

Gilligan's really impossible.

Certainly is annoying.

Well, to use the precise
scientific term Pest.

Oh, I guess Gilligan,
does cause nothing but trouble.

Even Mary Ann.

And now, ladies and gentlemen.
For the Piece de resistance.

Before your very eyes, you will
see a human being disappear.

However, I'll need a volunteer
from the audience.

Oh, I volunteer.
I'm a human being.

Good, Gilligan.
Get in.

Okay, Gilligan.
Now, when I say vanish

You go through that little
trapdoor.

And when I say reappear,
you come back again, okay.

- Goodbye, Ginger.
- Okay.

And now, ladies
and gentlemen, I'm ready.

I will take the magic wand,
and circle it

once, twice, thrice.

And now,
I order you to vanish.

[applause]

- The fellow had disappeared.
- It's wonderful.

And now, I will make
Gilligan reappear.

Oh, Ginger, couldn't you wait
until after lunch.

[laughs]

Please, Skipper. You're
disturbing my concentration.

And now,
I order you to reappear.

He's not there.

Gilligan, the trick's over.
You can come out now. Gilligan.

Gilligan. Gilligan.

It's amazing.

- Where'd he go?
- Where are you?

Ginger, it's a trick.
How did you do it?

Well, he's gone.

- It's all my fault.
- Oh, nonsense, Ginger.

There must be a perfectly
logical explanation

for Gilligan's disappearance.

You don't suppose,
the savages got my little buddy.

Oh, I doubt it.
We would've heard their drums.

At least, he said
goodbye to me.

Well, why would he want
to say goodbye?

I don't know.

Wait a minute.
That's it. Don't you see.

Gilligan's missing,
because he wants to be missing.

But why would he leave his
friends, his pals, his buddy?

Yeah, why should he?

Come to think of it.

I guess I have been on his back
lately. Do you suppose?

I think we can all
plead guilty to that.

I said he was annoying.

I called him a pest.

I guess that's it.
He overheard us.

He overheard everything.
No wonder he left us.

Oh, I can't bare to think
of my buddy out there

with no food, no water.

Take it easy, Skipper.
We'll form a searching party.

- We'll find him.
- Yes, of course. We will.

And when we find him,
I'll pick him up

and...I'll break
every bone in his body

for worrying us like this.

Gilligan little buddy,
where are you?

[birds chirping]

Gilligan..

Alright, Gilligan.
I know you're in there.

Come on out.
Only you could spell like that.

Come on, Gilligan, please.
I wanna talk to you.

You gotta listen to me.
I'm sorry.

I said lot of things
that I didn't mean.

I got a little upset
that's all.

But I didn't mean a word of it.

Gilligan, can't you understand
I'm trying to apologize to you?

Gilligan, I'm not going back
until you forgive me.

Gilligan, alright. If you won't
out, I'm coming in after you.

- I'll stay here.
- Yeah, please.

And don't move 'cause
I'm going in after you.

- Alright.
- Oop. Gilligan.

Hi, Skipper,
Do you like my new home?

There's only one room
with a few pictures.

- I--
- This is nonsense.

You're coming back
to the hut.

No. I'm not going back to hear
those mean things again.

I'm even a person.
I got feelings.

- Even if I'm only Gilligan.
- Can't you understand?

We are all sorry.
We wanna make it up.

This is my home
away from home.

- I'm going back.
- Gilligan.

- From now on, I'm a lone wolf.
- Gilligan. Wait, boy. Gilligan.

[howling]

Gilligan, my boy.
Where are you?

This is cash! This is currency.
This is coins.

Honey, stop waving these bills
around. He cannot see them.

Well, you'll have
to see money, darling.

The odor alone can
carry 2 or 3 miles.

On a clear day when
the wind is with you.

Oh, somebody terribly illiterate
must live in that cave.

My dear, we have found
Gilligan.

Gilligan, my boy,
are you in there?

(Gilligan)
'Go away.'

But it's your friends,
my dear boy. The Howells'.

- Tell him what we come to say.
- Yes. I will.

G-Gilligan. We've come here
to tell you..

- Must I?
- Yes, you must.

Well, alright, Lovey.

Gilligan, we came here
to apologize!

Ah, now that didn't
hurt too much, did it?

No, you say it real fast,
it kills the pain.

(Gilligan)
'I'm not going back.
I'm staying right here.'

We must do something for that
poor boy. It's a silly cave.

But what do you want me to do?
Arrange cave to cave carpeting?

Oh, that's an idea. That's just
what he needs carpeting.

Gimme those bills
you were waving around.

Yeah, I know, but..

There you are, Gilligan.
You spread those around.

And you'll have
a marvelous carpet.

But this money's undeclared.
I don't pay income on that.

- Oh, Lovey. Yeah.
- Oh, God.

Professor, Ginger. Come quick.
I've found Gilligan.

He's in the cave. Look.

Gilligan.
We know you're in there.

Oh, Gilligan,
please come out.

Okay, okay. I know
you came here to apologize

for the mean things, money won't
help. Even if I need a carpet.

I'm not going back. Because this
is my home, and I'm a lone wolf.

[howling]

[dramatic music]

Gilligan.
Come and get it.

Here is some goodies
to make you bit more comfy.

[music continues]

Gilligan? A little something
from your friends.

Man! Aren't we a bunch of
old meanies?

Gave Gilligan our blankets
and our food.

I made a supreme sacrifice. I
gave him my priced possession.

Ah, Thurston.
Your teddy bear.

Now, I gotta take
my hat off to you.

Beneath that rough exterior,
there lies a heart of gold.

If that was true. I would've had
it removed and minted years ago.

We are all agreed on one thing.
We want Gilligan back.

- Yes.
- Oh, I agree, Professor.

But how do we convince Gilligan
we really want him back?

In Hollywood, if you wanna
convince somebody.

- We throw a party.
- Ginger, that's right.

We'll throw a party
for my little buddy.

I just adore parties.
Whom should we invite?

But there's only seven of us
on the island.

Oh, yes, of course.
That's right.

We'll ask everybody.
It will still be exclusive.

How do we get Gilligan
to attend his own party?

That's right.
He won't leave the cave.

Oh, what he sees
in that cave is beyond me.

- It's absolutely frightening.
- That's it, Mrs. Howell.

We'll make it more frightening.
We'll scare him out of the cave.

Scare him, how?

We'll use those master masks

that I found on
the bottom of magicians crate.

Gilligan will come out
of there so fast

we'll have to catch up to him.
Now, you girls can get that

"Welcome back Gilligan"
cake ready.

And gentlemen,
as far as work concern

you two monsters,
come with me.

- All know what to do?
- You give the signal.

We all go.

- Got that?
- Yeah.

Alright, come on.

Now.

[people screaming]

Once more.

[people screaming]

[screaming continues]

Look, look, look.
I told you guys before.

This is my home away from home.
And I'm a lone wolf.

[howling]

Monsters! Monsters!
Run for your lives!

Run for you.
Run for you.

What kind of cake
you're making, Mary Ann?

On this island.
Hand me the coconut powder.

(Gilligan)
'Monsters! Monsters!'

Monsters. Monsters.

I mean, don't worry, ladies.
I'll save you all.

- I think it's working.
- Good.

Flash powder.
I'll get the Monsters.

Flash powder here.

[sneezes]

Don't worry, I'll take care
of those monsters.

- Gilligan, I've to--
- I can't.

Only seconds behind,
they'll be here in seconds.

- But Gilligan..
- Oops. Oops.

Forgot something.

Now listen, now don't panic
and don't worry.

Come on, girls.
Let's finish the cake.

Alright, you monsters.
Now get..

Take one more step
and I'll kill myself.

Gilligan, it's us.

Ahhhh.

Oh, I get it.
You're trying to trick me, huh?

Putting those masks.
Drive me out of the cave.

And drive me back.
Well, you're not gonna fool me.

Can't you understand. We're
trying to give you a party.

'The girls baked you a cake
and everything.'

Gilligan, I'm afraid
we've all been quite uncouth.

We all are make it up
by acting a bit more couther.

Webster will forgive me.

(Skipper)
'Don't you have just
a little space'

'in your heart to forgive us?'

Oh, I already forgave you, guys.
Only thing bothering me is

I don't see after three dinners,
how do you have room for cake.

Well, one of customers
I'm to public speaking

I'll make this very brief.

You think, my buddy Skipper
be such a wonderful guy.

I wanna thank Professor
being a wonderful guy.

Mr. Howell for being
a wonderful guy.

And Mrs. Howell for being
a such a wonderful guy.

You girls for making me
a wonderful guy.

For baking me such
a wonderful pie.

And making me a wonderful cake.

- I mean baking--
- Gilligan, that's enough now.

Blow out the candles. So we
could have a piece of cake.

Just one more thing, Skipper.
In conclusion, I'd like to say

'I will never leave you all
ever, ever again.'

- Is everybody alright?
- Yeah.

Where is Gilligan?

(Gilligan)
'Up here.'

- Are you alright?
- I'm fine. Great party.

(Howell)
'Boy, what a blow out.'

Good morning, Skipper.
Missed your breakfast.

Thank you, Gilligan.
I decided to patch up

the hole you made on
the roof first.

I'm learning a new magic trick.
Want to see?

No, Gilligan. You're not gonna
pull this tablecloth out.

This is one meal
I'm gonna eat.

I'm not gonna
pull the tablecloth out.

I can make the table rise.

- Sure. You can.
- Yeah, I can. Watch.

I command you to rise.

- I did it.
- Gilligan, this is impossible.

- It is?
- Yes!

You never should've said that.

¶ Now this is the tale
of the castaways ¶

¶ They're here for a long,
long time ¶

¶ They'll have to make
the best of things ¶

¶ It's an uphill climb ¶

¶ The first mate
and his skipper too ¶

¶ Will do their very best ¶

¶ To make the others
comfortable ¶

¶ In their tropic island nest ¶

¶ No phones, no lights,
no motor cars ¶

¶ Not a single luxury ¶

¶ Like Robinson Crusoe ¶

¶ It's primitive as can be ¶

¶ So join us here
each week my friends ¶

¶ You're sure to get a smile ¶

¶ From seven stranded
castaways ¶

¶ Here on Gilligan's Isle ¶