Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 1, Episode 29 - Three to Get Ready - full transcript

["The Ballad Of
Gilligan's Island"]

¶ Just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ¶

¶ A tale of a fateful trip ¶

¶ That started
from this tropic port ¶

¶ Aboard this tiny ship ¶

¶ The mate was
a mighty sailin' man ¶

¶ The Skipper brave and sure ¶

¶ Five passengers
set sail that day ¶

¶ For a three hour tour ¶

¶ A three hour tour ¶

[thunder rumbling]



¶ The weather
started getting rough ¶

¶ The tiny ship was tossed ¶

¶ If not for the courage
of the fearless crew ¶

¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶

¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶

¶ The ship set ground
on the shore of this ¶

¶ Uncharted desert isle ¶

¶ With Gilligan ¶

¶ The Skipper too ¶

¶ The millionaire ¶

¶ And his wife ¶

¶ A movie star ¶

¶ And the rest ¶

¶ Are here on Gilligan's Isle ¶



[music]

(Skipper)
Gilligan, I think
that's deep enough.

Gilligan,
we're digging a bait trap.

Not an elephant pit.

That's enough, Gilligan.

Gilligan, that is enough.

Will you stop that?

Now get out of there, so we
can get the files in there.

Hey, Skipper, look
at this shiny stone. Look.

Never mind that, get out
of there, Gilligan.

I say, old chaps that's
a jolly good job you're doing.

It'd go much faster, Gilligan,
if you'd just help.

Sorry, old being,
not my line of work.

- What's that, Gilligan?
- I have a shooting marble.

I didn't know there were any
of these on the island.

- He found it!
- Yeah, in the sand.

He found the eye of the idol.

What he found is
a semi-precious piece of quartz

known as a cat's eye.

Professor, what he found is
the eye of the idol Mertrezar.

Gilligan, anybody who finds this
between now and sun-down

has three wishes
for anything he wants.

Gilligan, it's a cat's eye
worth about $11.

It's worth millions, Gilligan.
It's been lost for centuries.

And the finder gets
anything that he wishes for.

That's just
native superstition.

No, it's not. I've seen a little
around these islands for years.

- The finder gets his wishes.
- He gets $11.

If so, I wish
for a gallon of ice-cream.

- But it's not true.
- It is.

- Hey, what's that?
- If you've been here--

I certainly have
and I know for a fact..

[Skipper and Professor arguing]

[argument continues]

- It's ridiculous.
- It's true.

It's chocolate.

I repeat, silly superstitions
incocted by ignorant savages.

Professor, I notice
it hasn't stopped you

from enjoying
your ice-cream.

For which, I'm thankful to the
plane or liner which lost it.

- That's possible, Skipper.
- Trust in me, little buddy.

You have two wishes left.
Please don't waste them.

- Yeah, don't waste your time.
- Don't worry, I won't.

- I only have to--
- Oh, what's the use?

Superstition,
silly superstition.

Superstition or not, it's
a treat I shall long remember.

- Wish, I had three wishes.
- I wish, we were home.

- In Hollywood.
- In Palm beach.

In Fort Knox.

Remember now, Gilligan. The
third wish is to get us rescued.

Right, Skipper.

About the second wish, maybe
something we could all enjoy.

How about a motorcycle?
We'll take turns riding it.

Well, I think it's..

You should think
about a neighborhood

of a million dollars a piece.

Where I live that neighborhood
is considered a slum area.

Mr. Howell, after all a million
dollars is hardly petty cash.

- It is to me.
- Okay, I won't wish for money.

Let me tell you something,
there's money and there's money.

Gilligan, will you concentrate?

How can the boy concentrate,
everyone's cluttering his mind.

He should be thinking
of a mountain of gold.

That's all you
ever think about, is gold.

No, sometimes
I think of platinum.

All I think about
is a motorcycle.

Will you stop mentioning
that word motorcycle?

With a side car and a siren.

- Gilligan, if I hear motor--
- Blam, blam, blam!

[mimicking motorcycle]

Heavens to Keenan Wynn.

If we use this to weave
material. Will it shrink?

Oh, not a bit.

It'll have the strength
and consistency of linen.

Oh, here comes, Gilligan.

Stereo outfit for
the tweeter and two woofers

a genuine picture
of good Gibson.

Soda fountain with all the
flavors including sassafras.

- There goes Gilligan.
- Yes, going, going, gone.

He's just being Gilligan.

Why, Gilligan.
Imagine bumping into you here.

Why, don't I live here anymore?

Of course, you do.
Why don't you whittle a while?

No, got too much
on my mind.

I'll bet
it's that second wish.

I don't know what you bet,
but you won.

What I'm saying, is when things
are at their darkest.

When you're in trouble
and need help. Who do you go to?

My mother.

- Your mother is not here.
- Neither is my father.

- Ah, but, that's it.
- What's it?

We'll pretend that
I'm your father.

Now, you've a problem, we'll sit
down together and solve it.

- You think it'll work?
- Of course, it will.

Okay, Skipper. Let's try.

- Hi, dad.
- Hi, son.

Where's your moustache?

- My what?
- My dad wears a moustache.

Alright, go out
and try again.

Hi, dad.

Hi, son.

- What's on your mind?
- What's on your lip?

Never mind. Now, what's
on your mind, son?

- Where are your glasses?
- Your father wore glasses too?

As long as I can remember.

Alright, go out and
we'll try out again.

Hi, dad.

Son, how many times
have I told you

when you're talking to somebody
look them right in the eye.

Skipper, my dad was real short
I used to look down at him.

Well, how's this?

Dad, how'd you
get on this island?

I've been waiting for you, son.
Where have you been?

Where's mother?

A red tri-cycle, no.
It's a blue tri-cycle, no.

- A white tri-cycle, no.
- Hi, Gilligan.

A red, white and blue tri-cycle.

I said, "Hi, Gilligan."

I'm working on it, Skipper.
I'm working on it.

I think you better wish
for a pair of glasses.

I'm sorry, Ginger. I'm so upset
about this wishing business.

Of course, you can't think
if you're tensed and nervous.

You got to relax.
Come with me, it'll relax you.

Okay.

- Get into the hammock.
- Okay.

Up you go.

(Gilligan)
Oops.

I'm relaxed.

Gilligan, you have to
co-operate, just unwind.

Let everything go.
There.

Now, just imagine that your body
is just floating along.

Every part of you
feels calm

calm, calm.

Gilligan? Gilligan!
Not that relaxed.

I'm sorry. So, where was I?

You were about to wish that you
were going to be a movie star.

- I was?
- Why not?

- Yeah, why not?
- Sure.

Just wish that you were
Burt Lancaster, Laurence Olivier

Richard Burton and Carry Grant,
all rolled into one.

You know what I'd
be all rolled like that.

- What?
- Lumpy.

You'd be the most sought
after movie star.

- I would?
- And you know what?

You'd have your choice
of leading ladies to pick from.

Oh, yeah, I would.

And who would you pick?

- You know who.
- I know but tell me anyway.

Lassie.

Oh, Gilligan,
you're terrible.

[music]

- What are you doing down there?
- Thinking of the second wish.

This is no place to think.
Come on, up on your feet.

I already
tried that, Mr. Howell.

There's only one method
to concentrate and that's yogi.

Yogi? You want me to be
a baseball player.

No, not Yogi Bear. I'm thinking
the mysticism of the Aryan.

Don't you understand?
The land of the swamis.

You've got to practice yogi.

No, you made me
stand on my head.

That's it!
That's yogi exactly.

- No, wait.
- On your head!

Couldn't do it as a kid.
Can't do it now.

It's no time to argue.

I'm not arguing.
I can't stand on my head.

Come on, up, up, over you go.

I bet the ideas are rushing
into your head, aren't they?

It's not working. All I'm
thinking is not falling.

I'll shake you a little to make
sure the blood gets to the head.

Oh, comfy?

Mr. Howell, you sure I'm going
to find the answer this way.

You'd be amazed,
what I can find.

Yogi, stay there, mysticism.

- Lovey, my dear. Make room.
- What for?

- The money.
- We haven't got much with us.

- Only a few hundred thousand.
- We'll take home more money.

The eye of the idol, how darling
of Gilligan to give it to us.

That boys is generous to a ball.

He's so unselfish. I think for
a friend, he'd turn inside out.

And upside down too, my dear.

Lovey, make a little wish.

Oh, the holidays with the Prince
and Greys would be divine.

Better than that, I'll
buy that little country.

Come with me, we'll make
a giant wish. Take the flower.

I wish for 20 billion dollars in
the giant economy size package.

Perhaps, they've to send for it
from the Federal Reserve Bank.

Darling, if Gilligan's gonna
wish us of the island by evening

we won't have
time to wait.

Lovey, you're right as usual.
I'll make it easier.

Cancel that order for twenty
billion, make it ten billion.

Five billion.

A hundred thousand.

Nine and a quarter.

Trading stamps?

Maybe they can't find the money.
We'll lend it to them.

I've been duped. I've been taken
by that pink cheeked bum-kin.

- Yes, we were so nice to him.
- That's the last time.

Believe me, I'll never pull
anything sneaky on him again.

Put the flower there.

Gilligan!

Gilligan, all you're gonna get
out of that, is a headache.

Oh, I'm way past that, Skipper.

Ba-humberg on your
magic powers and deeds.

You took the eye?

Merely to test and approve.
It's nothing at all.

Mr. Howell, you just
don't understand.

Gilligan found it
and only he can make it work.

That was mumbo-jumbo.
There's nothing to it.

My first wish came true.

It was easily explained
by the Professor.

I should've remembered
before I tried it.

Oh, Mr. Howell, these things
only work only one way.

Oh, certainly, with the full
moon over your left shoulder

with Mars in conjunction
with the North star.

With a hind leg of a horn,
towed in your pocket.

No, Mr. Howell,
I stood and said

I wish for a gallon
of vanilla ice-cream.

That's exactly right.

It isn't even raining vanilla,
strawberry or tutti-frutti.

Gilligan, do you realize
what you've done?

No, wh-wh-why?

Your second wish,
vanilla ice-cream.

I wished for vanilla ice-cream.

Might is well make
it French vanilla.

Gilligan, look what just came
floating in the lagoon again.

Does French Vanilla taste kind
of smooth and creamy?

And rich and full bodied.

French vanilla.

- God, it works.
- Now, are you satisfied?

You know, what tastes
great with this? Caramel sauce.

I wish I had some--

Gilligan, your third wish.
Don't express another wish.

- It'll be your third one.
- But I was only gonna wish--

Everybody, we're leaving.

- Lovey, start packing again.
- Yes, we're going home.

Meet us in the hut area.
Come on, Gilligan.

And just how
is this miracle to take place.

Planning to leave
by magic carpet?

Well, I must say the ice-cream
gave the legend added weight.

- Not only the legend, darling.
- I'll get back to health-club.

Three times round the track,
sauna bath I'll be usual self.

Mr. Howell, in sometime you'll
be back in your usual hut.

I wish you come
with us, Professor.

Mary Ann, you're not
going anywhere.

None of us are
if Gilligan doesn't.

That ice-cream was dropped
from a plane.

We'll send the same one
back for you, Professor.

- Eh-eh, touché, Skipper.
- There's Gilligan.

Well, well, if it isn't
Merlin the magician.

No, it isn't, Professor.
It's me, Gilligan.

What have we got there,
Gilligan?

Souvenirs, I got these nifty
rocks, and a swell ash-tray.

These swell bird eggs. Look at
how the circles go round?

- They go round and round--
- Gilligan, very interesting.

But when you gonna
get us off the island?

Right now, Skipper. There I
reach my pocket and get the--

Reach my pocket..

- I've got a hole in my pocket
- What you thinking, Gilligan?

The eye of the idol, you
couldn't have lost it, did you?

- Oh, yes, I did.
- When did you see it last?

I could've lost it in the caves
where I got these rocks.

By the tree,
I got these eggs.

Or the oyster bed,
I got this ash-tray.

'Or maybe in the hut.'

Well, that certainly narrows
down the possibilities.

We've got to find it
before sun-down.

Oh, it's almost an hour.

Ginger, you and the Professor
take the cave

'where he got those
nifty rocks.'

'Mr. and Mrs. Howell,
take the oyster bed'

'where he got the dandy shell.'

'Mary Ann, we'll
take the tree'

'where he found
those swell bird eggs.'

Skipper, what should I take?

There's many things
to mention for you to take.

- Why don't you search the hut?
- Okay.

And don't get yourself lost
like you did that jewel.

That's impossible, Skipper, I'm
too big to fit inside my pocket.

Come on, Mary Ann.

Thurston, I protest.

Darling, you have to look
through the oysters.

Oh, to think that
we've stooped to manual labor.

On the contrary we are the ones
wealthy enough to do this.

Wealthy enough?

After all, they are called
Oyster Rockefeller.

Oh, darling.
You're so witty.

There's a tree
with a nest, Skipper.

[Skipper sighs]

[melodic music]

That does it, Mary Ann.
We've covered every inch.

But we can't give up now.

Say, maybe it's lodged
in the tree.

That nest is quite a ways up.

But if Gilligan can get up
there, anybody can.

Eye of the idol.

Eye of the idol.
Eye of the idol.

Oh, where are you?

Eye of the idol.
Eye of..

O-oh.
Ow. Oh.

Eye of the idol.
Oh, eye of the..

Oh!

Oh, no.

Oh! Look, everybody, a pearl.

Oh! Oh, look nobody.

Ah, darling.
I need some new pearls.

- These are last years.
- It's flawless, Lovey.

Ah, the old Howell-luck.
It's certainly carrying on.

- I refuse.
- You're just being stubborn.

- What I'm being is sensible.
- Alright, I'll do it.

Ginger, you are
hardly dressed for spelunking.

Professor, what did you say?

Spelunking. A spelunker is a
person whose hobby's Speleology.

In other words,
poking around in caves.

Oh!

If it'll make you happy

I'll crawl in there
and take a look.

Are you going to do it
with a positive attitude?

What possible difference
could my attitude make?

All the difference
in the world.

Attitude is one of the key words
in method-acting.

Ginger, all I'm doing is looking
for a $11 worth of quartz.

Well, to get into the mood,
you got to think mole.

- You got to think what?
- Mole. Like this.

- Now you try it.
- Alright.

Definitely not mole.
Looks more like a gopher to me.

- Gopher.
- It's your eyes.

- My eyes?
- Yeah, they're not sad enough.

- Moles have sad eyes.
- Oh.

What are you doing now?

I'm making sure a hawk doesn't
swoop down and carry me off.

Everything's gonna be alright.
Just think mole.

Oh! Just think mole.

Just think mole.

Just think mole. Just think..

[melodic music]

- Oh! He's almost there.
- Yeah.

Oh, easy does it, Skipper.

[grunting]

It's empty.

You know why?

No. Why, Gilligan?

Because that's a weak branch.
You see, birds are real smart.

They don't build their nests
on weak branches--

[creaking]

Timber.

[thud]

Lovey, I've come to
a definite decision.

Yes, dear.

We're definitely going to sell
our house in Oyster Bay.

Yes.

Well, any luck?

[grunting]

Not yet.

Oh! What-what happened
to your head?

I bumped it on the wall.
Cave is dark inside.

Oh! Well, forget about
thinking mole. Think bat.

Think bat?

- Bat.
- Think bat.

- Think bat.
- Bat. Yeah.

[melodic music]

Gilligan, not even you could
lose a jewel inside a banana.

- You never can tell.
- I can tell.

Now, gimme that.

This isn't the time
for an afternoon snack.

We have to find
the eye of the idol.

- It's almost sundown.
- How about the waterfall?

Were you there before the cave?

- Nope.
- 'After the Oyster bed?'

- Nope.
- When were you there?

Last Saturday. Remember,
Skipper was kind of hot.

'Thought I'd go in the
waterfall, take a shower.'

(Ginger)
'I found it.
I found it. I found it.'

That's Ginger.
Come on.

Oh! Hey, what's wrong with you?

I am a bat.

You look more like
a gopher with a ear-ache.

Never mind him. Where is it?

Here it is. I got it.

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, she found it, Gilligan.

- By Joe, I think she found it.
- Mary Ann.

You, Professor and Ginger, go to
the Lagoon. We'll tell the rest.

Okay. See you later.

Oh, Gilligan. Please now,
don't lose it this time.

Now you can count on me, sir.

- Gilligan.
- Oh!

It's the other eye, Skipper.
It's the other eye. The eye.

Gilligan, you not only
got a hole in your head.

There is hole in your pocket.
Put it in the other pocket.

Oh, yeah, you're right.
Okay, Skipper.

Mr. and Mrs. Howell.

- Mr. and Mrs. Howell.
- 'I'm here, Gilligan.'

- Where?
- 'I'm here.'

Ah, there you are,
Gilligan, my boy.

- Any luck?
- Yeah. Ginger found it. See.

Well, that figures it wouldn't
be among the oysters.

- It could've been.
- It's impossible.

This is July. There isn't
any R in the month.

Never thought of that.
Where is Mrs. Howell?

Well, she's in there..
Heavens to Fulton's fish market.

I buried her.

Lovey. Lovey, where are you?

Here I am.

A thousand pardons, my dear.

To think I've spent five years
learning to like these things.

And now...ish.

- 'So, Gilligan.'
- Yeah, bu-but, what about him?

He doesn't want to come.
He doesn't have to.

- Last chance, Professor.
- Bon voyage.

- Come on, Gilligan.
- Oh, yeah.

Not in that pocket.
Has a hole in it, remember?

Oh, yeah.

No, Gilligan. Don't say it.
Don't say you've lost it again.

- Okay. I won't say it.
- Gilligan, how could you?

Easy. Put it in
the other pocket and it fell.

Yup, he could do that.

Rescue or no,
I'm gonna shuck another oyster.

Had it when
I was with the Howells.

It'll be between here
and the oyster bed.

- That's reasonable.
- I'm glad you agree.

We're never gonna find that
little jewel in all this sand.

Sure we will. Take off your
shoes. Walk in a straight line.

Somebody will step on it.
Here hold these. Here.

Skipper, take your shoes off.
You have big feet.

Little buddy. Gilligan. Look.

- Oh, you found it real fast.
- Now, put your hand out.

- Now make a fist.
- Uh-huh.

Now start wishing.

I'm not going.

After I reserve first class
passage for seven people.

Not fair leaving the Professor
here by himself.

- Excuse me.
- You can't stay alone with him.

It's not proper.
Just telling, he's a chaperone.

Darling, they're gonna
miss you at the horse show.

- You.
- Oh, Lovey.

Jesus. Sun is starting
to go down.

- Oh, bye.
- Come with us, Professor.

But you're not going anywhere.

We were, until you started
to be a party pooper.

I'm not going. Just go.
I'm gonna stay with my Thurston.

Oh, that's the old
pioneer stud, my dear.

Please. Now, the sun
is going down. Make your wish.

I can't, Skipper.

I can't leave the Professor and
Mary Ann and the Howells here.

Count me out too. Hollywood
would have to do without me.

Alright. Alright. I give in.
But on one condition.

Anything, Professor.
Anything. Just name it.

If I tried, will you forget
about all this nonsense?

- Oh, yes.
- Oh, yeah.

Come on, everybody get together.
Everybody get together, come on.

- Alright, Gilligan.
- Yeah.

Go.

I wish we were off this island.

[rambling]

Gilligan, you did it again.

You got us off the island,
into the lagoon.

- I should have said Hawaii.
- I wish you had.

- Wish we were in Hawaii.
- Not now, Gilligan.

You've made
your third wish.

Wish we were in Los Angeles.
Wish we were in Chicago.

New York. Ohio.

[music]

As the wealthiest man
in the town, Gilligan. I would..

Just forget it, will you?

You know, digging that day-trap
loosened that little peninsula

of land and floated us
out into the lagoon.

- You've no faith, Professor.
- Not in fantasy or wishes.

- Everybody is mad at me, huh?
- Not mad exactly.

We just felt that you let us
down, into the lagoon

as a matter of fact.

It wasn't your fault, Gilligan.

Of course not. You did what
the Skipper told you.

He told you to wish us
off the island and you did.

I didn't say
into the lagoon.

You know whose fault
it is? This.

You know, Gilligan, I never did
think that semi-precious stones

did a thing for you.

Won't cause me anymore trouble.

What, it's
a great idea, Gilligan.

But a waste of energy. You
already had three wishes.

I hope whoever finds it
has better luck with it than I.

Hey, that's right. Whoever finds
it next gets three wishes. Ha.

- I love it.
- Well, come on.

- See you later, Gilligan.
- Professor.

Thought you don't believe
in that stuff.

Oh, I don't.
It's completely unscientific.

'Absolutely absurd. Violates
every rule of common sense.'

And it's completely
contrary to the rules of

logic and intelligence.

But just in case.

¶ Now this is a tale
of our castaways ¶

¶ They're here
for a long, long time ¶

¶ They'll have to make
the best of things ¶

¶ It's an uphill climb ¶

¶ The first mate
and his skipper too ¶

¶ Will do their very best ¶

¶ To make the others
comfortable ¶

¶ In the tropic island nest ¶

¶ No phones, no lights,
no motorcars ¶

¶ Not a single luxury ¶

¶ Like Robinson Crusoe ¶

¶ It's primitive as can be ¶

¶ So join us here
each week my friends ¶

¶ You're sure
to get a smile ¶

¶ For seven stranded castaways ¶

¶ Here on Gilligan's isle ¶