Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 1, Episode 15 - So Sorry, My Island Now - full transcript
A Japanese solder arrives on the island, thinks it's still WWII, and holds the castaways prisoner on their own island.
¶ Just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ¶
¶ A tale of a fateful trip ¶
¶ That started
from this tropic port ¶
¶ Aboard this tiny ship ¶
¶ The mate was
a mighty sailin' man ¶
¶ The skipper brave and sure ¶
¶ Five passengers set sail
that day ¶
¶ For a three hour tour ¶
¶ A three hour tour ¶
[thunder rumbling]
¶ The weather started
getting rough ¶
¶ The tiny ship was tossed ¶
¶ If not for the courage
of the fearless crew ¶
¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶
¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶
¶ The ship set ground
on the shore ¶
¶ Of this uncharted
desert isle ¶
¶ With Gilligan ¶
¶ The skipper too ¶
¶ The millionaire ¶
¶ And his wife ¶
¶ The movie star ¶
¶ And the rest ¶
¶ Are here on Gilligan's Isle ¶
[upbeat music]
[water gurgling]
[water gurgling continues]
Help!
A sea monster.
Help. Help. Help.
Run for you life.
It's a sea monster.
Help. Help.
Skipper, help. Sea monster.
Help. Help. Sea monster.
(Gilligan)
'Help.'
[oriental music]
And then I see the saw serpent.
I mean I ser the saw seapent.
Gilligan, little buddy,
please now calm down
and just tell us
what happened.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I was fishing for lobster when
suddenly I saw the ser seapent.
The saw serpent, a sea,
I saw a thing.
Gilligan, your panic
is perfectly understandable.
It is?
Naturally, anyone who saw a sea
serpent would be terrified.
How come everybody's standing
here like I didn't see one?
Because you didn't.
It had one big eye, long neck,
was covered with green things.
Listen to me, there is no
such thing as a sea serpent.
Sailing men
from time immemorial
in Norse legends, in Greek
mythology and Phoenician times
all thought they saw things
that didn't exist.
They did?
Actually what they saw was
a giant squid or a whale
or an overgrown eel or even an
octopus, which one did you see?
One with one big eye, long neck,
and covered with green things.
I give up.
Skipper, you talk to him.
Skipper, I saw
with my own two eyes.
- Gilligan, little--
- It has one big eye.
Oop.
- Gilligan, do you trust me?
- Of course, I do.
Then go back down to the lagoon
and start picking more lobsters.
But Skipper, what if the--
Gilligan, all you have
to do is just say to yourself
"There is no sea serpent,
there is no sea serpent.
There is no sea serpent.
There is no sea serpent!"
There is no sea serpent.
There is no sea serpent.
There is too a sea serpent.
There is two a sea serpent.
Oh, it's you, Mr. Howell.
You scared me.
I, Thurston Howell III,
scare you? That's absurd.
Thought you're sea monster with
big eye, long neck, green thing.
Please, I don't think
I look like that.
Not you, Mr. Howell, the sea
monster. That's how he looks.
Well, I can help you capture
this creature from the deep, hm?
Capture it?
I'll take it home and give it
the freedom of my swimming pool.
Can't you just picture
my guests falling into the pool
while I'm coming up astride
a sea serpent, such laughs.
- You don't believe me either.
- No, of course not.
No, I think it's just
a giant squid or an octopus.
However, if you spot
a mermaid, sing out!
Spots a mermaid..
Oh, boy, I tell you..
Be careful, be careful.
That point is pointy-pointy.
Oh, by George, and I've got
the money to buy George.
That's a Japanese sailor.
- Shh.
- Shh.
- You officer?
- Officer?
I'm an officer
in 11 different companies.
That's go-o-od.
Good.
I have divisions in England,
France, Italy, the Near East
Far East and Middle East.
It's our great honor,
uh, to capture you.
Capture me?
- You prisoner. Come with me.
- Wait a minute!
That's incredible.
That's impossible.
It's credible
and possible.
- Sayonara.
- Sayona..
One minute, Mr. Howell was
there, next minute, poof, gone.
He manages to be somewhere else
when there's work, he's hiding.
Yeah. But first time ever
in the stomach of a sea serpent.
- Hi, Gilligan.
- Hi, don't go swimming.
I'm not exactly dressed for it.
Ginger, you see if
you can calm him down.
- You do look kinda worried.
- No, I'm not worried.
I'm not least bit worried.
Scared, yeah, but not worried.
He's upset because he thinks
Mr. Howell has disappeared.
Oh, would you like me
to help you go look for him?
- No.
- W-well, I could go first.
- It's too dangerous for a lady.
- Well, you could go first.
No it's too dangerous for a man.
How about you, professor?
You wanna go along with us?
No, Gilligan, I'm gonna stay
right here and finish my work.
[sighs]
- You still behind me, Ginger?
- Right behind you, Gilligan.
I was walking on this path
not even thinking of lobsters
let alone sea monsters
and believe me
I'd let alone sea monsters
if I had my choice.
I was standing right over here.
Mr. Howell came up to me
and then he started walking up
the beach and I stood here..
Ginger?
You still behind me?
[Ginger screaming]
- What was that?
- It sounded like Ginger.
But she's with Gilligan.
Professor, I refuse
to listen anything more.
- Gilligan's a very nice boy.
- I didn't mean it like that.
Well, what's happening?
I was telling that her husband
has been eaten by a sea serpent.
Oh, that's silly, Thurston
wasn't even dressed for dinner.
Did you say he was eaten
by a sea serpent?
- No, no, no. Gilligan said it.
- Oh, that's different.
Stay and wait for the Skipper,
send him to the lagoon.
Come on, Mary Ann.
I'll explain it on the way.
I'll save you, Ginger.
I'll save you.
Don't give up,
Ginger. Ginger?
Hold your breath.
I'll save you.
- You don't believe him, do you?
- No, but there may be trouble.
- You stay here.
- Why?
Because I'm gonna find out
exactly what's happening.
- I'll save you. I'll save you.
- Gilligan.
- Gilligan, what happened?
- The sea serpent ate Ginger.
- Why did she scream?
- Because it hurts.
Gilligan, you get
hold of yourself
and tell me step by step
exactly what happened?
Well, Ginger and me came down
from camp to the beach.
That is, I did.
Ginger became an appetizer.
In other words, she was standing
there where Mary Ann is now?
- Where Mary Ann isn't.
- Gilligan, for the last time..
[dramatic music]
Mary Ann.
Mary Ann.
Mary Ann.
Mary Ann.
Professor, it's just no use.
Mary Ann's become a salad.
There's a perfectly logical
and normal reason
for what's happening.
- Uh-huh, a hungry sea serpent.
- Nonsense.
Maybe, you're right.
After Mr. Howell, Ginger
and Mary Ann,
he's probably full.
I'll stand guard here,
you go back to camp
and help Mrs. Howell
find the Skipper.
- You'll stay right here?
- I promise.
- Even if you're eaten?
- Gilligan, will you hurry up?
Right.
Mary Ann.
Hello, Skipper.
Mrs. Howell..
Oh.
Oh, poor Mrs. Howell.
Well, at least,
she's with Mr. Howell now.
Gilligan.
Oh, Skipper,
am I glad to see you.
- I told you to go get lobsters.
- Oh, is that a big mistake.
- W-where is everybody?
- Out to lunch.
- Out for lunch?
- The hard way.
Gilligan, please, now why don't
you start making some sense?
Right, make some sense.
Where shall I begin?
Start at the beginning,
that's always a good place.
- I was catching lobster, right?
- Right.
- I saw the sea serpent, right?
- Right.
Then he ate Mr. Howell, Ginger,
Mary Ann, and poor Mrs. Howell.
Gilligan, I'm not gonna lose
my temper, am I?
I'm not gonna get angry
and blow my top, am I?
- No, I'll make you start over.
- You don't believe me, do you?
Don't wanna hurt your feelings,
but no, I don't believe you.
Then I don't wanna
talk about it.
- Now, tell me what happened.
- Nothing happened.
Gilligan, where
is everybody gone?
You and me are here.
Professor's down at the beach.
The rest, they all got
eaten up by a--
- Ah.
- Sea serpent, so there.
I suppose that you saw them
eaten by the sea serpent?
- No, not exactly.
- Now, we're getting someplace.
- We are.
- Yes, we are.
We're getting down at the beach
and find the professor. C'mon.
- I'm not going back down there.
- Alright, suit yourself.
Don't forget to say hello
to Mrs. Howell for me.
Very ingenious.
Very ingenious.
Well, I'm glad
that you approve.
You notice how he's got
this constructed?
If we try to squeeze through or
push or pull these bamboo poles
it tightens the wire and pulls
the pin out of the grenade.
And pow, splash, pow!
Must you be so graphic?
You don't understand,
it could be to our advantage.
The "pow" or the "splash"?
I meant we might be able to
reason with the Japanese sailor.
Only a person of intelligence
could have constructed
this barricade as quickly
and efficiently as he did.
- He's smarter than we are.
- What do you mean?
Well, he's outside.
We're inside.
[whistling]
Oh, he speaks English.
[birds chirping]
Alright, now.
Time for interrogation.
Now, look, this is really
all quite unnecessary.
The war has been over
for more than 20 years.
I've heard of sore losers,
but he's ridiculous.
[speaking Japanese]
You don't call me ridiculous.
Surely you must've heard the
ending of the war on your radio.
Radio broke in 19...42.
Transmitter, too.
Pretty soon, I get spare parts.
- When?
- Oh, when I get leave.
Best spare parts come Japan.
Cheaper, too.
Have you heard about
our discount houses?
Using code.
Don't talk in code.
Just give me information
of supply depot, uh, ammunition
headquarters, everything.
Look, there is no ammunition.
There are no headquarters.
The war is over.
What's the matter with you?
You think I'm dumbbell? Huh?
I know American.
I went to American college.
I graduated...UCLA.
- That explains everything.
- What do you mean?
Well, he's obviously
not a Harvard man.
Look at the cut
of his trousers.
[dramatic music]
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
I believe it.
It's right here.
I haven't seen one of these
since the war.
Which one is it?
The Monitor or the Merrimack?
Not the Civil War,
you lunkhead!
Look at the name
of the boat.
Somebody sure has
terrible handwriting.
I can't make out
USS anything.
Gilligan,
it's Japanese.
This clears a lot of things.
It's in papers all the time.
You read where they left some
Japanese on a deserted island.
They don't know
the war is over yet.
It looks a lot bigger
when it was a sea serpent.
They must have the rest
of the group held captive.
- It's up to us to save 'em.
- That's right, Gilligan.
All I have to do
is get in the sub
sail to Hawaii
and bring back help.
- You're a genius, Skipper.
- I know.
With the sub gone,
it wouldn't make sense.
That sailor wouldn't dare
kill you and rest of the group.
- Me? How do I get captured?
- I have faith in you, Gilligan.
- Oh, thanks, Skipper.
- Oops.
- Bon voyage. Have a good trip.
- Wait a minute, Gilligan.
- I'm stuck.
- You can't get in?
- No, Gilligan.
- You can't get out?
- No, Gilligan.
- Oh, that's why you're stuck.
Yes, Gilligan.
Here, some coconut oil
to make you slippery.
- Coconut oil is gooey.
- It'll make you more slippery.
Here, come on.
Let's go.
- See? Here we go.
- Hey, you working!
Yeah.
Come on. Let's go.
- Turning me the wrong way.
- Oh, oh, here.
See it works.
That's right, little buddy,
it worked fine. Now get ready.
You're gonna have
to captain the submarine.
- Me?
- Yes.
Get down there
behind that wheel.
It's simple, just drive it
like an automobile.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Just look at the dashboard
and follow the instructions.
If you say so.
Head Northwest
and you'll hit Hawaii.
You can depend on me,
Skipper.
I wish you hadn't
said that, Gilligan.
Just remember,
your life is in my hands.
Wish you hadn't
said that either.
Here we go.
Good luck, little buddy.
[water gurgling]
I forgot it was a convertible.
No, no.
Hey, you, there are
seven people captured
on an island by
a Japanese sailor.
Hey, you.
Look, I know exactly where
they are, come on, come on.
Come on, hurry up, we gotta
hurry, come on, let's go.
Follow me, I know
exactly where they are.
Gilligan.
Skipper?
How did you get to Hawaii?
- You never left the lagoon.
- I didn't?
- I told you to head northwest.
- I know that.
Well, then, why didn't
you do what I told you?
You didn't tell what northwest
looked like in Japanese.
- Japanese?
- Yeah.
All those letters
down there written like that.
Never thought of that.
Well, Gilligan, we gotta find
that sailor, have him teach you.
- I could learn real fast.
- Good, Gilligan.
Now, if you were a Japanese
sailor, where would you be?
In Tokyo.
I mean here
on the island, Gilligan.
We got to find
that Japanese sailor.
Come on.
Would you settle say for general
manager in my European sales?
I'm Japanese sailor.
Imperial Navy,
I'm loyal to my Emperor.
Loyalty is something
I admire in every manager.
It's a positive virtue but would
you be loyal say to $50,000?
No, no, no, but thank you
for important information.
Information?
What information?
That war is nearly over
and that American Army
is in bad, bad shape.
I never said the American Army
was in bad shape.
Must be, to make men
like you officer.
I go talk to
lady prisoner.
Arigato!
[oriental music]
[music continues]
You're married
to big mouth, huh?
I'm Mrs. Thurston Howell III.
Have been two other like that?
There may be
a Thurston Howell IV.
Wonder why Emperor want
United States.
I demand you let us
out of here immediately.
Oh, no, can't do.
Then I have nothing more
to say to you.
You, you camera bug.
I change my mind.
Then you're gonna
let us go free?
No.
I was going
to torture your husband.
But now I'll leave
that to you.
Oh, Mary Ann,
I think I've been insulted.
Ah, you, you're not scared, huh?
- Maybe you give me information?
- I'd rather die.
That could be arranged.
Ooh.
Oh, hey, don't go away. No.
American movie star, she hurt.
Oh, I-I think
I sprained my ankle.
- Oh, it's too bad.
- Maybe if you rub it.
I-I mean men's hands
are so strong.
I was the strongest sailor
in whole navy.
I broke five boards,
one inch thick, with karate.
And you're handsome too.
Handsome?
Oh, no.
Yes, you are.
Good looking, maybe.
Very, very good rooking.
You good looking too.
Thanks.
You know if you were
back in Hollywood now
they'd go crazy about you?
Hollywood?
Me in movies?
Oh, yes, there's
lots and lots of parts
for big, strong Japanese men.
I could play a movie star
like, uh, Robert Taylor, huh?
Or like Robert Montgomery, huh?
How about the other one,
Lloyd Bridges?
Yes, you've got such smooth hair
and a handsome face.
And good looking?
(both)
Very good rooking.
And strong hands.
Oh, please.
You steam glasses.
Ginger, I wouldn't
do that.
Why not?
I don't think he's had
a shore leave in over 20 years.
- I demand that you release us.
- After all, the war is over.
And I won't speak
to you again if you don't.
How you say
"no" in English?
Ah. No!
[birds chirping]
I haven't sleep for 48 hours.
I must sleep.
You seem to be forgetting the
rules of the Geneva Conference.
Officers are entitled
to special treatment.
Oh, well, you get
special prison camp.
I'm referring
to the cocktail hour.
You sure he's on your side?
Not always.
I sleep over there.
Don't you escape, huh?
Escape?
The way you fixed this chicken
coop, how am I gonna escape?
Oh, true.
True.
Say, how did you
learn to do this?
- Pictures.
- Pictures?
American pictures
with John Wayne.
- He's up there.
- Oh.
- What are we gonna do?
- Watch and see what he does.
- Keep an eye on him.
- Yeah. What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna let them out.
- Okay.
- If he makes a move, whistle.
- Oh, like this?
[whistles]
- You wanna get us captured?
- No.
[snoring]
Counting on you now,
Gilligan.
Don't worry, Skipper.
Your life is in my hands.
I wish you wouldn't
keep saying that.
Now, watch him.
[snoring]
- Oh, am I glad--
- Shh.
I'll have you
out of here in no time.
Skipper, it'll take you a week
to saw through those
even if you had a saw.
- No, don't, don't do that.
- Why not?
Because of "pow" and "smash"
and other gory details
I can't go into now.
'Cause he's got it
rigged with grenades.
- The slightest pressure and--
- "Pow."
I'll dig you out.
[snoring]
[snoring]
[snoring continues]
[snoring continues]
- Skipper, how you doing?
- Shh.
Don't bother me,
I'm doing fine.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi.
Hold this, will you?
[metal clinking]
Gilligan.
Here, Skipper, use this,
it'll be faster.
Thanks.
He's gone.
He was the only one who could've
taught us to run that submarine.
It can't be, Skipper.
It can't be.
I think he's headed
for Hollywood.
We gotta get to that sub
before he does. Come on.
Extremely poor seamanship.
He'd be drummed out of
the Sunnybrook Yacht Club.
I can't understand it.
He's driving like he was drunk.
He's not drunk, Skipper.
He not have glasses on.
¶ They're here for
a long, long time ¶
¶ They'll have to make
the best of things ¶
¶ It's an uphill climb ¶
¶ The first mate
and his skipper too ¶
¶ Will do their very best ¶
¶ To make the others
comfortable ¶
¶ In the tropic island nest ¶
¶ No phone, no lights,
no motorcar ¶
¶ Not a single luxury ¶
¶ Like Robinson Crusoe ¶
¶ It's primitive as can be ¶
¶ So join us here
each week my friends ¶
¶ You're sure to get a smile ¶
¶ From seven
stranded castaways ¶
¶ Here on Gilligan's isle ¶¶
and you'll hear a tale ¶
¶ A tale of a fateful trip ¶
¶ That started
from this tropic port ¶
¶ Aboard this tiny ship ¶
¶ The mate was
a mighty sailin' man ¶
¶ The skipper brave and sure ¶
¶ Five passengers set sail
that day ¶
¶ For a three hour tour ¶
¶ A three hour tour ¶
[thunder rumbling]
¶ The weather started
getting rough ¶
¶ The tiny ship was tossed ¶
¶ If not for the courage
of the fearless crew ¶
¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶
¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶
¶ The ship set ground
on the shore ¶
¶ Of this uncharted
desert isle ¶
¶ With Gilligan ¶
¶ The skipper too ¶
¶ The millionaire ¶
¶ And his wife ¶
¶ The movie star ¶
¶ And the rest ¶
¶ Are here on Gilligan's Isle ¶
[upbeat music]
[water gurgling]
[water gurgling continues]
Help!
A sea monster.
Help. Help. Help.
Run for you life.
It's a sea monster.
Help. Help.
Skipper, help. Sea monster.
Help. Help. Sea monster.
(Gilligan)
'Help.'
[oriental music]
And then I see the saw serpent.
I mean I ser the saw seapent.
Gilligan, little buddy,
please now calm down
and just tell us
what happened.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I was fishing for lobster when
suddenly I saw the ser seapent.
The saw serpent, a sea,
I saw a thing.
Gilligan, your panic
is perfectly understandable.
It is?
Naturally, anyone who saw a sea
serpent would be terrified.
How come everybody's standing
here like I didn't see one?
Because you didn't.
It had one big eye, long neck,
was covered with green things.
Listen to me, there is no
such thing as a sea serpent.
Sailing men
from time immemorial
in Norse legends, in Greek
mythology and Phoenician times
all thought they saw things
that didn't exist.
They did?
Actually what they saw was
a giant squid or a whale
or an overgrown eel or even an
octopus, which one did you see?
One with one big eye, long neck,
and covered with green things.
I give up.
Skipper, you talk to him.
Skipper, I saw
with my own two eyes.
- Gilligan, little--
- It has one big eye.
Oop.
- Gilligan, do you trust me?
- Of course, I do.
Then go back down to the lagoon
and start picking more lobsters.
But Skipper, what if the--
Gilligan, all you have
to do is just say to yourself
"There is no sea serpent,
there is no sea serpent.
There is no sea serpent.
There is no sea serpent!"
There is no sea serpent.
There is no sea serpent.
There is too a sea serpent.
There is two a sea serpent.
Oh, it's you, Mr. Howell.
You scared me.
I, Thurston Howell III,
scare you? That's absurd.
Thought you're sea monster with
big eye, long neck, green thing.
Please, I don't think
I look like that.
Not you, Mr. Howell, the sea
monster. That's how he looks.
Well, I can help you capture
this creature from the deep, hm?
Capture it?
I'll take it home and give it
the freedom of my swimming pool.
Can't you just picture
my guests falling into the pool
while I'm coming up astride
a sea serpent, such laughs.
- You don't believe me either.
- No, of course not.
No, I think it's just
a giant squid or an octopus.
However, if you spot
a mermaid, sing out!
Spots a mermaid..
Oh, boy, I tell you..
Be careful, be careful.
That point is pointy-pointy.
Oh, by George, and I've got
the money to buy George.
That's a Japanese sailor.
- Shh.
- Shh.
- You officer?
- Officer?
I'm an officer
in 11 different companies.
That's go-o-od.
Good.
I have divisions in England,
France, Italy, the Near East
Far East and Middle East.
It's our great honor,
uh, to capture you.
Capture me?
- You prisoner. Come with me.
- Wait a minute!
That's incredible.
That's impossible.
It's credible
and possible.
- Sayonara.
- Sayona..
One minute, Mr. Howell was
there, next minute, poof, gone.
He manages to be somewhere else
when there's work, he's hiding.
Yeah. But first time ever
in the stomach of a sea serpent.
- Hi, Gilligan.
- Hi, don't go swimming.
I'm not exactly dressed for it.
Ginger, you see if
you can calm him down.
- You do look kinda worried.
- No, I'm not worried.
I'm not least bit worried.
Scared, yeah, but not worried.
He's upset because he thinks
Mr. Howell has disappeared.
Oh, would you like me
to help you go look for him?
- No.
- W-well, I could go first.
- It's too dangerous for a lady.
- Well, you could go first.
No it's too dangerous for a man.
How about you, professor?
You wanna go along with us?
No, Gilligan, I'm gonna stay
right here and finish my work.
[sighs]
- You still behind me, Ginger?
- Right behind you, Gilligan.
I was walking on this path
not even thinking of lobsters
let alone sea monsters
and believe me
I'd let alone sea monsters
if I had my choice.
I was standing right over here.
Mr. Howell came up to me
and then he started walking up
the beach and I stood here..
Ginger?
You still behind me?
[Ginger screaming]
- What was that?
- It sounded like Ginger.
But she's with Gilligan.
Professor, I refuse
to listen anything more.
- Gilligan's a very nice boy.
- I didn't mean it like that.
Well, what's happening?
I was telling that her husband
has been eaten by a sea serpent.
Oh, that's silly, Thurston
wasn't even dressed for dinner.
Did you say he was eaten
by a sea serpent?
- No, no, no. Gilligan said it.
- Oh, that's different.
Stay and wait for the Skipper,
send him to the lagoon.
Come on, Mary Ann.
I'll explain it on the way.
I'll save you, Ginger.
I'll save you.
Don't give up,
Ginger. Ginger?
Hold your breath.
I'll save you.
- You don't believe him, do you?
- No, but there may be trouble.
- You stay here.
- Why?
Because I'm gonna find out
exactly what's happening.
- I'll save you. I'll save you.
- Gilligan.
- Gilligan, what happened?
- The sea serpent ate Ginger.
- Why did she scream?
- Because it hurts.
Gilligan, you get
hold of yourself
and tell me step by step
exactly what happened?
Well, Ginger and me came down
from camp to the beach.
That is, I did.
Ginger became an appetizer.
In other words, she was standing
there where Mary Ann is now?
- Where Mary Ann isn't.
- Gilligan, for the last time..
[dramatic music]
Mary Ann.
Mary Ann.
Mary Ann.
Mary Ann.
Professor, it's just no use.
Mary Ann's become a salad.
There's a perfectly logical
and normal reason
for what's happening.
- Uh-huh, a hungry sea serpent.
- Nonsense.
Maybe, you're right.
After Mr. Howell, Ginger
and Mary Ann,
he's probably full.
I'll stand guard here,
you go back to camp
and help Mrs. Howell
find the Skipper.
- You'll stay right here?
- I promise.
- Even if you're eaten?
- Gilligan, will you hurry up?
Right.
Mary Ann.
Hello, Skipper.
Mrs. Howell..
Oh.
Oh, poor Mrs. Howell.
Well, at least,
she's with Mr. Howell now.
Gilligan.
Oh, Skipper,
am I glad to see you.
- I told you to go get lobsters.
- Oh, is that a big mistake.
- W-where is everybody?
- Out to lunch.
- Out for lunch?
- The hard way.
Gilligan, please, now why don't
you start making some sense?
Right, make some sense.
Where shall I begin?
Start at the beginning,
that's always a good place.
- I was catching lobster, right?
- Right.
- I saw the sea serpent, right?
- Right.
Then he ate Mr. Howell, Ginger,
Mary Ann, and poor Mrs. Howell.
Gilligan, I'm not gonna lose
my temper, am I?
I'm not gonna get angry
and blow my top, am I?
- No, I'll make you start over.
- You don't believe me, do you?
Don't wanna hurt your feelings,
but no, I don't believe you.
Then I don't wanna
talk about it.
- Now, tell me what happened.
- Nothing happened.
Gilligan, where
is everybody gone?
You and me are here.
Professor's down at the beach.
The rest, they all got
eaten up by a--
- Ah.
- Sea serpent, so there.
I suppose that you saw them
eaten by the sea serpent?
- No, not exactly.
- Now, we're getting someplace.
- We are.
- Yes, we are.
We're getting down at the beach
and find the professor. C'mon.
- I'm not going back down there.
- Alright, suit yourself.
Don't forget to say hello
to Mrs. Howell for me.
Very ingenious.
Very ingenious.
Well, I'm glad
that you approve.
You notice how he's got
this constructed?
If we try to squeeze through or
push or pull these bamboo poles
it tightens the wire and pulls
the pin out of the grenade.
And pow, splash, pow!
Must you be so graphic?
You don't understand,
it could be to our advantage.
The "pow" or the "splash"?
I meant we might be able to
reason with the Japanese sailor.
Only a person of intelligence
could have constructed
this barricade as quickly
and efficiently as he did.
- He's smarter than we are.
- What do you mean?
Well, he's outside.
We're inside.
[whistling]
Oh, he speaks English.
[birds chirping]
Alright, now.
Time for interrogation.
Now, look, this is really
all quite unnecessary.
The war has been over
for more than 20 years.
I've heard of sore losers,
but he's ridiculous.
[speaking Japanese]
You don't call me ridiculous.
Surely you must've heard the
ending of the war on your radio.
Radio broke in 19...42.
Transmitter, too.
Pretty soon, I get spare parts.
- When?
- Oh, when I get leave.
Best spare parts come Japan.
Cheaper, too.
Have you heard about
our discount houses?
Using code.
Don't talk in code.
Just give me information
of supply depot, uh, ammunition
headquarters, everything.
Look, there is no ammunition.
There are no headquarters.
The war is over.
What's the matter with you?
You think I'm dumbbell? Huh?
I know American.
I went to American college.
I graduated...UCLA.
- That explains everything.
- What do you mean?
Well, he's obviously
not a Harvard man.
Look at the cut
of his trousers.
[dramatic music]
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
I believe it.
It's right here.
I haven't seen one of these
since the war.
Which one is it?
The Monitor or the Merrimack?
Not the Civil War,
you lunkhead!
Look at the name
of the boat.
Somebody sure has
terrible handwriting.
I can't make out
USS anything.
Gilligan,
it's Japanese.
This clears a lot of things.
It's in papers all the time.
You read where they left some
Japanese on a deserted island.
They don't know
the war is over yet.
It looks a lot bigger
when it was a sea serpent.
They must have the rest
of the group held captive.
- It's up to us to save 'em.
- That's right, Gilligan.
All I have to do
is get in the sub
sail to Hawaii
and bring back help.
- You're a genius, Skipper.
- I know.
With the sub gone,
it wouldn't make sense.
That sailor wouldn't dare
kill you and rest of the group.
- Me? How do I get captured?
- I have faith in you, Gilligan.
- Oh, thanks, Skipper.
- Oops.
- Bon voyage. Have a good trip.
- Wait a minute, Gilligan.
- I'm stuck.
- You can't get in?
- No, Gilligan.
- You can't get out?
- No, Gilligan.
- Oh, that's why you're stuck.
Yes, Gilligan.
Here, some coconut oil
to make you slippery.
- Coconut oil is gooey.
- It'll make you more slippery.
Here, come on.
Let's go.
- See? Here we go.
- Hey, you working!
Yeah.
Come on. Let's go.
- Turning me the wrong way.
- Oh, oh, here.
See it works.
That's right, little buddy,
it worked fine. Now get ready.
You're gonna have
to captain the submarine.
- Me?
- Yes.
Get down there
behind that wheel.
It's simple, just drive it
like an automobile.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Just look at the dashboard
and follow the instructions.
If you say so.
Head Northwest
and you'll hit Hawaii.
You can depend on me,
Skipper.
I wish you hadn't
said that, Gilligan.
Just remember,
your life is in my hands.
Wish you hadn't
said that either.
Here we go.
Good luck, little buddy.
[water gurgling]
I forgot it was a convertible.
No, no.
Hey, you, there are
seven people captured
on an island by
a Japanese sailor.
Hey, you.
Look, I know exactly where
they are, come on, come on.
Come on, hurry up, we gotta
hurry, come on, let's go.
Follow me, I know
exactly where they are.
Gilligan.
Skipper?
How did you get to Hawaii?
- You never left the lagoon.
- I didn't?
- I told you to head northwest.
- I know that.
Well, then, why didn't
you do what I told you?
You didn't tell what northwest
looked like in Japanese.
- Japanese?
- Yeah.
All those letters
down there written like that.
Never thought of that.
Well, Gilligan, we gotta find
that sailor, have him teach you.
- I could learn real fast.
- Good, Gilligan.
Now, if you were a Japanese
sailor, where would you be?
In Tokyo.
I mean here
on the island, Gilligan.
We got to find
that Japanese sailor.
Come on.
Would you settle say for general
manager in my European sales?
I'm Japanese sailor.
Imperial Navy,
I'm loyal to my Emperor.
Loyalty is something
I admire in every manager.
It's a positive virtue but would
you be loyal say to $50,000?
No, no, no, but thank you
for important information.
Information?
What information?
That war is nearly over
and that American Army
is in bad, bad shape.
I never said the American Army
was in bad shape.
Must be, to make men
like you officer.
I go talk to
lady prisoner.
Arigato!
[oriental music]
[music continues]
You're married
to big mouth, huh?
I'm Mrs. Thurston Howell III.
Have been two other like that?
There may be
a Thurston Howell IV.
Wonder why Emperor want
United States.
I demand you let us
out of here immediately.
Oh, no, can't do.
Then I have nothing more
to say to you.
You, you camera bug.
I change my mind.
Then you're gonna
let us go free?
No.
I was going
to torture your husband.
But now I'll leave
that to you.
Oh, Mary Ann,
I think I've been insulted.
Ah, you, you're not scared, huh?
- Maybe you give me information?
- I'd rather die.
That could be arranged.
Ooh.
Oh, hey, don't go away. No.
American movie star, she hurt.
Oh, I-I think
I sprained my ankle.
- Oh, it's too bad.
- Maybe if you rub it.
I-I mean men's hands
are so strong.
I was the strongest sailor
in whole navy.
I broke five boards,
one inch thick, with karate.
And you're handsome too.
Handsome?
Oh, no.
Yes, you are.
Good looking, maybe.
Very, very good rooking.
You good looking too.
Thanks.
You know if you were
back in Hollywood now
they'd go crazy about you?
Hollywood?
Me in movies?
Oh, yes, there's
lots and lots of parts
for big, strong Japanese men.
I could play a movie star
like, uh, Robert Taylor, huh?
Or like Robert Montgomery, huh?
How about the other one,
Lloyd Bridges?
Yes, you've got such smooth hair
and a handsome face.
And good looking?
(both)
Very good rooking.
And strong hands.
Oh, please.
You steam glasses.
Ginger, I wouldn't
do that.
Why not?
I don't think he's had
a shore leave in over 20 years.
- I demand that you release us.
- After all, the war is over.
And I won't speak
to you again if you don't.
How you say
"no" in English?
Ah. No!
[birds chirping]
I haven't sleep for 48 hours.
I must sleep.
You seem to be forgetting the
rules of the Geneva Conference.
Officers are entitled
to special treatment.
Oh, well, you get
special prison camp.
I'm referring
to the cocktail hour.
You sure he's on your side?
Not always.
I sleep over there.
Don't you escape, huh?
Escape?
The way you fixed this chicken
coop, how am I gonna escape?
Oh, true.
True.
Say, how did you
learn to do this?
- Pictures.
- Pictures?
American pictures
with John Wayne.
- He's up there.
- Oh.
- What are we gonna do?
- Watch and see what he does.
- Keep an eye on him.
- Yeah. What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna let them out.
- Okay.
- If he makes a move, whistle.
- Oh, like this?
[whistles]
- You wanna get us captured?
- No.
[snoring]
Counting on you now,
Gilligan.
Don't worry, Skipper.
Your life is in my hands.
I wish you wouldn't
keep saying that.
Now, watch him.
[snoring]
- Oh, am I glad--
- Shh.
I'll have you
out of here in no time.
Skipper, it'll take you a week
to saw through those
even if you had a saw.
- No, don't, don't do that.
- Why not?
Because of "pow" and "smash"
and other gory details
I can't go into now.
'Cause he's got it
rigged with grenades.
- The slightest pressure and--
- "Pow."
I'll dig you out.
[snoring]
[snoring]
[snoring continues]
[snoring continues]
- Skipper, how you doing?
- Shh.
Don't bother me,
I'm doing fine.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi.
Hold this, will you?
[metal clinking]
Gilligan.
Here, Skipper, use this,
it'll be faster.
Thanks.
He's gone.
He was the only one who could've
taught us to run that submarine.
It can't be, Skipper.
It can't be.
I think he's headed
for Hollywood.
We gotta get to that sub
before he does. Come on.
Extremely poor seamanship.
He'd be drummed out of
the Sunnybrook Yacht Club.
I can't understand it.
He's driving like he was drunk.
He's not drunk, Skipper.
He not have glasses on.
¶ They're here for
a long, long time ¶
¶ They'll have to make
the best of things ¶
¶ It's an uphill climb ¶
¶ The first mate
and his skipper too ¶
¶ Will do their very best ¶
¶ To make the others
comfortable ¶
¶ In the tropic island nest ¶
¶ No phone, no lights,
no motorcar ¶
¶ Not a single luxury ¶
¶ Like Robinson Crusoe ¶
¶ It's primitive as can be ¶
¶ So join us here
each week my friends ¶
¶ You're sure to get a smile ¶
¶ From seven
stranded castaways ¶
¶ Here on Gilligan's isle ¶¶