Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 1, Episode 14 - Water, Water Everywhere - full transcript

["The Ballad Of
Gilligan's Isle"]

¶ Just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ¶

¶ A tale of a fateful trip ¶

¶ That started
from this tropic port ¶

¶ Aboard this tiny ship ¶

¶ The mate was
a mighty sailing man ¶

¶ The Skipper brave and sure ¶

¶ Five passengers
set sail that day ¶

¶ For a three hour tour ¶

¶ A three hour tour ¶

[thunder]



¶ The weather started
getting rough ¶

¶ The tiny ship was tossed ¶

¶ If not for the courage
of the fearless crew ¶

¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶

¶ The Minnow would be lost ¶

¶ The ship set ground
on the shore ¶

¶ Of this uncharted
desert isle ¶

¶ With Gilligan ¶

¶ The Skipper too ¶

¶ The millionaire and his wife ¶

¶ The movie star and the rest ¶

¶ Are here
on Gilligan's Isle ¶

That's perfect, Gilligan.
Water's flowing just right.

Thanks, Professor.



Hi, Skipper.

Hi, Gilligan. Where do you want
these plants, Professor?

Oh, here, Skipper,
I'll take them.

You know, Skipper,
this gets awful monotonous.

Gilligan, why don't you
make a game out of it?

Pretend that you're taking
a long bicycle ride

'from Cleveland, Ohio
to Chicago, Illinois.'

- Hey, Skipper?
- What?

Which way do I turn?
Left or right at Cincinnati?

Will you keep pedaling?
Left!

You know, Skipper, these
breadfruit plants are fantastic.

So rich
in food value

a person could live indefinitely
just on breadfruit.

I'd rather live
on smorgasbord.

Smorgasbord?

Yeah, you know, smoked
oysters, fried kippers

pickled herring,
finnan haddie...salted peanuts.

Boy...am I thirsty?

- Gilligan.
- Huh?

The water won't flow
when you're not pedaling.

Oh!

Pump, Gilligan, pump.

I am pumping.

Well, so you are.

I don't understand it.
The water's not coming through.

- Maybe the spring dried up.
- I think you're right.

The spring is our only source
of fresh water.

- What happened to it?
- I don't know.

Well, if something
has interfered

with our water supply,
this is just the beginning.

First, the plants will die, and
then the fruit-trees will die..

...and then this can
be serious, Gilligan.

- Serious?
- Very serious.

Skipper, where are you?
Hey, Skip..

Don't use the water.
I got some important news for..

Skipper?

[chuckles]
Really, Gilligan.
Do I look like the Skipper?

Well...Uh, uh!

I don't know. You know,
bare feet are bare feet.

- Even..
- Yes?

No, you sure don't
look like the Skipper.

Thanks. Hey, would
you be a darling

and get me that towel
over there?

Oh!

You mean
this little towel?

Yeah. Come on, bring it over.
I won't bite you.

You promise
you won't bite me?

I promise
I won't bite you.

Ow! You bit me!

Yeah, aren't I a tease?

(Ginger)
'Hey, don't go away,
I'll be right out.'

You'll be right out?

'Ready or not,
here I come.'

'I'm not ready.'

Well, I was just washing
my hair, silly.

- You certainly are a bachelor.
- Only with girls.

Don't be too shy.

You know, I think
under all that mud

there's a charming,
attractive man.

Ginger's scarf.

Lovely a girl
as I've ever seen.

Here's for one of the loveliest
persons on the island.

Thanks, Skipper.
My first corsage.

- Does that mean we're engaged?
- Gilligan!

What are you doing in there
with your clothes on?

I've been trying to find you.
I've some very important news.

News? What news?

Ah, oh, I don't know,
with everything happening.

The mud and Ginger.

My first corsage.

Here, Gilligan,
this will wake you up.

- Hey, there's no water.
- Right!

That's what the news is about.
We're out of water.

Until we locate a spring
or dig a new well

I suggest we start
a rationing system.

A very good suggestion,
Professor.

Thank you, ladies, for your
contribution to water supply.

- Welcome.
- Welcome.

Well, that's all
the fresh water I had.

Oh, my goodness,
this isn't water.

It's my perfume, Mad Desire,
mixed with Flaming Passion.

Great. I wonder what the men
will do when they drink that.

I don't know,
but I'm dying to find out.

No fish, girls.
It'll make us thirsty.

Okay.

Water, water, water.

I got to have water.
I'll go mad.

Water, water.

Water, please give me water.

Gilligan, cut that.
Cut that out!

We haven't even
started rationing yet.

I know, I was just
practicing for later.

Here, start by emptying
these containers

into our water supply.

Aye-aye, sir.

Professor, is it true that
you're planning to ration water?

That's right,
Mr. Howell.

We only have enough water
for a few days.

We may tap a spring
in a few days.

I saw some shale
rock formations

where we could
all dig a well.

Well, count me out. When I think
of well, I usually strike oil.

Yeah, some people have a green
thumb, Thurston has an oily one.

Skipper, what happens
when we get thirsty?

I mean, right now, I'd like
to have a cool glass--

Gilligan, please. Now, until we
find a new spring or locate

another place to dig a well,
let's not use the word "water."

It only makes everybody
more thirsty.

I'm sorry, Skipper,
but I won't mention

the name of that
wet liquid again.

See, I didn't say water.

Now, I suggest we start
rationing the amount we drink.

Exactly, Professor.
Now, like I said

we only have a few days left
in our mm-mm supply.

"Mm-mm" supply?

Shhh..

So, Mr. Howell, I'm gonna put
you in charge of the rationing.

As usual, Thurston,
the drinks are on you.

- See you at the hut, dear.
- Ta-ta, dear.

Well, let's get started
looking for our new spring.

I have my trusted,
new divining rod here.

If there's anything to drink
in the island, I'll find it.

This rod will point out
even a few drops.

A divining rod?

We can't afford to trust
our lives to superstition.

Oh, Professor, it's
not superstition.

Mr. Howell, what do you think
of my divining rod?

Well, I think it's divine.
No, it's utter nonsense.

Hogwash, I don't believe it.

Hey, look!

It's pointing towards
Mr. Howell's leg.

Well, I'd better go to the hut.
Lovey's expecting me.

Coming, dear,
be right there.

Come on, Mr. Howell,
your pant's leg.

Skipper, I'm still thirsty.
But, I didn't say W-A-T--

Alright, little buddy, alright.

Come here, Gilligan.
I got an idea.

This is a little trick
of survival I learnt

from the natives
in the Solomon's.

Now put these pebbles in your
mouth and suck on 'em. It works.

[both mumbling]

Oh, please don't talk to me when
I got a mouth full of pebbles.

[mumbling]

[coughing]

What was it that was
so important

that you had
to say to me?

I was gonna tell not to talk
with pebbles in your mouth

- 'cause you might..
- Swallow them.

Thanks a lot, Gilligan.

Skipper, it's starting
to point.

- Yeah, right over there.
- No, Skipper, over here.

- Over there!
- No, Skipper, over here.

- Over there!
- Here.

- There!
- Here.

Oh, Captain! Oh, Gilligan!
Your water boy.

Good heavens, it's so dry,
it's raining dirt.

Water, water, Captain.

Skipper!

Let me do it.

Oh, I see.
I'm just in time here.

Mr. Howell, you're covered
with dirt. Let me brush you off.

- Here.
- What? Don't do that, Gilligan.

Your hands
are dirty. Look!

Not now,
Mr. Howell.

Ready for our afternoon
rations already?

That's exactly why I'm here.
I'm your friendly water boy.

Alright, Gilligan. Go ahead,
now, now that's a good boy.

Close your eyes,
open your mouth.

Okay, fill her up.

- Here we are.
- Eyes closed, mouth open.

- Here we go.
- Here we go.

Is that all I get?
Eight drops?

Eight drops?

Good heavens, you got
your evening rations too.

Here's one
for the road.

Gilligan, I want you to guard
this water with your life.

- You can count on me, Skipper.
- I hope so.

'Cause if you don't guard
this with your life

your life might not
be worth guarding.

- Got a knife?
- A knife?

Skipper, those people
out there are my friends.

Oh, I just want to mark
the water level on this stick.

Alright now.

That's how much
water we have now.

We better have this much
when I get back.

Those folks might start
getting desperate.

- Desperate?
- Very desperate.

Gilligan, keep
a stiff upper lip.

[howling]

I'm not afraid.

I'm not scared. I'm not
afraid, I'm not afraid.

I did it. I'm not
one bit afraid.

[screams]

Sorry, my boy. I didn't
mean to alarm you.

You didn't alarm me,
you just scared me.

There's something
I have to tell you.

If it's about the water,
the answer's no.

No, I've something I must
tell you in deepest confidence.

You know, come over,
come over here.

Come here, Gilligan.
Gilligan, come here!

Okay, Mr. Howell.
But when I come over here

it's the same as the answer
over there, no!

Gilligan, my boy,
I must tell you

that you are in very
serious trouble.

Well, I happened
to know that someone's

planning to steal
the water supply.

[whistling]

- Who?
- 'Who?'

'It's someone that you
know very, very well.'

[whistling]

'Why are you whistling,
Mr. Howell?'

[chuckles]
Bird call.

¶ Ta-di-di ¶

[whistling]

Now the master
plan, you see

is these two people
distract you

and while your back
is turned..

Huh?

...one of them will
steal the water.

Who'd do
a thing like that?

Please!
Shh! No names.

- How many are there?
- Now, there's two.

Ha-hard to tell,
you see, in a crowd.

Mrs. Howell and I both knew
if this should happen

that your name
would be mud.

Oh, changing my name
wouldn't do any good.

The Skipper could still find me.
He knows what I look like.

- Good luck, my boy.
- Goodnight, Mr. Howell.

And thanks for the warning. You
sure you can't tell their names?

I would never
forgive myself.

I better turn in.
Goodnight.

[whistling]

'Ooh! My goodness, me now!'

'Why has Gilligan left
the water bag unguarded?'

'Anybody who wanted to steal
it could have stolen it by now.'

Now, where in the world
could Gilligan be?

- Here I am.
- Oh!

My goodness, Gilligan,
where were you?

I was hiding
behind the bush.

Lucky for you, you didn't
try to steal any water.

Oh, Gilligan. You silly,
suspicious boy.

Why in the world would
I do a thing like that?

Skipper told me that you were
on guard duty

so I came over
to keep you company.

Gee, thanks.

Gee, Gilligan.
I don't know how you do it.

I mean, hour after hour
after hour.

(Ginger)
Don't you ever get sleepy?

I mean, don't you ever find that
your eyes are getting heavier

and heavier
and wanting to close?

Arms so heavy, heavy,
you can't keep 'em up.

Don't you ever feel
that you're going

into a deep, deep,
deep sleep?

- Nope.
- Ah!

Of course not.
A big, strong man

like you would
never fall asleep.

'I mean a big,
strong man like you.'

'Your right eye could never
get so heavy.'

'There, hold it open.'

Big, strong man like you could
never, never, never fall asleep.

No, I could never fall..

[snoring]

'Sleep. Asleep!'

Goodbye, Gilligan.

Gilligan!

Advance and be recognized,
Skipper.

- Right this way.
- What's all the big fuss about?

I'll show you. Ladies.

Mrs. Howell.

Gilligan, you're lucky.
It's all there.

Now, aren't you all
ashamed of yourselves?

I'm ashamed
we got caught.

- And you, Gilligan--
- Skipper, I-I-I don't--

Gilligan, what have you
been doing all this time?

I made a new
divining rod. Look.

Oh, it takes
a very special technique

to make a divining rod.

Will you stop being sore at me
if it hits water?

I promise I will never ever
get sore at you again

if that divining
rod hits water.

- 'Well, let me see it.'
- No.

The boy
needs therapy.

Darn clever, Professor.
Sure beats digging by hand.

But we've gotta keep
our fingers crossed.

Gilligan spilled every drop
of water we had left.

Hi, Skipper.
Hi, Professor.

I don't blame you
for not talking to me

but I wanna help.

Well, if you want me
to go away, just nod.

I'll give you one more chance.
If you want me to go..

...away. Fine.

- Gee, I'm thirsty.
- Oh, I told you.

Concentrate on your sewing.
It'll take your mind off of it.

That's what I did. Well,
sewing reminded me of dresses.

And dresses reminded me of wool.
Wool reminded me of sheep

and sheep reminded me
of the mountains.

The mountains reminded
me of the desert

and the desert made me
thirsty again.

Hi, girls. Came by
to cheer you up.

I doubt if you can
cheer us up.

We're making a sheet
to catch the morning dew.

If we're lucky, we'll get
a thimbleful of water.

Look on the bright side,
we might find a spring soon.

If we don't,
it might rain.

If it doesn't rain,
people sometimes last--

Gee, Gilligan, do you really
want to cheer us up?

- Yeah, what can I do?
- Go cheer up the Howells.

I can't understand it,
Thurston.

All that nonsense about
a divining rod to bring water.

'Uh, yes, I know.
Totally unscientific.'

- Mm, are you ready?
- Yes, yes. Ha ha.

Anytime you are, my dear.
One, two, three.

¶ Ha-hunga-hunga-hunga-ha ¶

¶ Hunga-hunga-hunga-ha ¶

¶ Hunga-hunga-hunga-hunga ¶

- Ah! Rain!
- Rain!

You're not listening.

I don't understand it,
Thurston.

It worked last year
in Yellowstone Park

for the Cherokees.

What's wrong, anyway?

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Howell.

Now I know
what's wrong.

Dear folks, every time
I try to do something right

everything goes wrong.

Maybe everybody will be
better off without me.

I make nothing
but mistakes.

Even make a mistake
writing mistakes.

[croaking]

Hey! Hi, frog.

Could you mind getting your
wet feet off my desk here?

Come on. Let's go.

[croaking]

Wet feet? Frog?

Put 'em all together,
they spell water.

Okay, come on, partner.
Take me to your water.

Come on, let's go.

Woo-hoo!

I'll follow you. Yeah!

Let's go, come on.

[croaking]

Let's go now,
come on.

Froggy, where are you?
Hey, froggy?

Listen,
I don't wanna squish...you!

[croaking]

There you are.

Skipper. Oh, Skipper,
have you seen Gilligan?

Oh, Mary Ann,
if I'd seen Gilligan

would I be riding
this contraption?

I think he may have done
something desperate.

Look at the note
I found.

"And maybe everyone would
be better off without me."

Oh, this is all my fault.
My poor, little buddy.

Skipper, you don't think..

I don't know. We better
find out right away.

Froggy!

[croaking]

[croaking]

Alright, frog, I give up.

There! There you are.
Come here. Come here.

Hey, you alright?

[croaks]
Okay?

[croaks]
You alright?

[croaks]
Take me to the water now.

For you, it's easy.
Come on, come on. Oh!

Froggy! Frog!
Where did he go?

Hey, frog!

Oh! What a big hole. I think
I find out where he went.

I just have to hang on
and wait for help. Help!

Oh, it's an underground cave.
There's lots of water.

[croaks]

Oh, hi. Thanks for helping me.

I knew you would. Look,
there's fresh water all over.

When I tell the others,
they'll be excited.

But how?

I can't reach the top,
and the sides are all smooth.

What am I gonna do?

[croaking]

Thanks for your advice, but it's
too bad I don't speak frog.

First, we've gotta search every
square foot of this island.

We'll never forgive ourselves
if we don't find that boy.

Oh, if we ever do find him,
well, we'll hug him and..

and squeeze him and,
and kiss him and--

Hey, what are we waiting for?
Let's go.

If I yell,
somebody will hear me.

Hello-o-o..

[echoes]

[croaking]

I wasn't talking to you.

- Gilligan, my boy.
- Gilligan!

- Gilligan!
- Gilligan!

- Oh, Gilligan!
- Gilligan!

- Gilligan!
- Gilligan!

Gilligan, little buddy.
Gilligan!

My little buddy's hat. Gilligan!

Couldn't...be in the hole.
No, he wouldn't have.

Gilligan? Gilligan,
are you down there?

- Hey, Skipper.
- Gilligan!

[screaming]
Gilliga-a-an..

Welcome.

Gilligan, little buddy.
Is that you?

Yes, Skipper. What are
you doing down here?

- I brought you your hat.
- Oh, thanks, Skipper.

I'm glad to see you,
even if I can't.

Well, think how happy I am.

Yeah, look.
Fresh water, Skipper.

I don't mean about the water,
little buddy. I mean about you.

I don't mind telling you
I've got a lump in my throat.

Well, be careful. Don't swallow.
It might be my frog.

- Gilligan! Gilligan!
- Gilligan!

Oh, Thurston, we simply have got
to find that boy.

I know what I'll do. Offer
a reward. $5,000 or $10,000.

Thurston, there are times when
money is absolutely useless.

Ooh! What you said, Lovey.

I see a tunnel there.
Maybe we can get out.

We can't see where we're going.
We need light.

I got some matches, Skipper.

Oh, Gilligan, so have I

but we fell in the water.
The matches are wet.

Why don't we build
a fire? Dry 'em out?

You can't light a fire
and dry out the matches

when you need dry matches
to light a fire.

No wonder you are the Skipper
and I'm only the crew.

- Gilligan! Gilligan!
- Gilligan!

Let's search that area
over there.

I once had a part in a jungle
movie where everybody got lost.

- Everybody?
- Yes.

And nobody ever found them.

The hero died, the heroine died.
They all died.

But that picture had
a happy ending.

How could it have
a happy ending?

Made three million dollars.

- Let's go.
- Gilligan!

- Gilligan, my boy? Gilligan!
- Gilligan! Oh!

(Mr. Howell)
'I wonder where that boy
has gone to.'

Hello-o-o..

Thurston, that was
Gilligan's voice.

Can anyone hear us?

And that's the Skipper's voice.

Thurston, I think they're
down that hole.

Heavens to Sherlock Holmes,
we found them.

Gilligan, Skipper,
we're here, we're here.

That's wonderfu-u-ul..

It's dark down here.
Can you give us some light?

Oh, it's dark. Yes,
I can imagine.

H-here, here's some matches.

Nice catch, little buddy.

Careful now.

No, no, hit it on the..

...the other side. The side
of the box, eh.

Oh, Gilligan.
I know you can do it.

On the side
of the box, little boy.

Mr. Howell,
have you found them?

They're down there.
Just threw them some matches.

- Matches?
- Yes.

Why, there may be explosive
gasses down there. Gilligan!

- Don't light that!
- Gilligan.

Get back, everybody. Get back.

- Skipper?
- Gilligan?

How are we gonna get 'em up
from there?

Never mind that. How're you
gonna get us down from here?

[indistinct chatter]

Hold it down now, folks.

I think we should have
a few words

from the man of the hour,
Gilligan.

[whistling and clapping]

Thank you.
It just goes to show

what I can do
when I concentrate.

And you did this one
all by yourself, Gilligan.

Yes, sir. And I know
how to locate water now

without help from anyone.

Uh!

Well, you gotta give credit
where credit is due.

- Ole.
- Ole.

Here's to Froggy.

[croaks]

¶ Now this is the tale
of the castaways ¶

¶ They're here
for a long, long time ¶

¶ They'll have to make
the best of things ¶

¶ It's an uphill climb ¶

¶ The first mate
and his skipper too ¶

¶ Will do their very best ¶

¶ To make
the others comfortable ¶

¶ In the tropic island nest ¶

¶ No phone, no lights,
no motor cars ¶

¶ Not a single luxury ¶

¶ Like Robinson Crusoe ¶

¶ It's primitive as can be ¶

¶ So join us here
each week my friends ¶

¶ You're sure to get a smile ¶

¶ For seven stranded castaways ¶

¶ Here on Gilligan's isle ¶