Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 1, Episode 11 - Angel on the Island - full transcript
The castaways hold an off Broadway play starring Ginger Grant, however, Mr Howell wants to use his wife as the lead.
¶ Just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ¶
¶ a tale of a fateful trip ¶
¶ that started
from this tropic port ¶
¶ aboard this tiny ship ¶
¶ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ¶
¶ the skipper brave and sure ¶
¶ 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ¶
¶ a 3-hour tour ¶
[thunder]
¶ The weather started
getting rough ¶
¶ the tiny ship was tossed ¶
¶ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ¶
¶ the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ¶
¶ the ship set ground
on the shore of this ¶
¶ uncharted desert isle ¶
¶ with gilligan ¶
¶ the skipper, too ¶
¶ the millionaire and his wife ¶
¶ the movie star ¶
¶ and the rest ¶
¶ are here on gilligan's isle ¶
hello, hello.
Testing, 1,2,3,4.
Can you hear me?
Yes, gilligan.
I can hear you fine.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
Uh, yeah, I can hear you.
Can you hear me?
Yes, gilligan,
i can hear you fine.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
That professor sure
is smart to invent
this telephone system.
That's right,
gilligan,
and he's going to string
wires all over.
That way we can talk
any place on the island.
Gilligan! Skipper!
Have you seen ginger?
She's been gone
all morning.
Well, no I haven't.
She wasn't at breakfast.
Oh, I'm awfully worried
about her.
She's been acting
so funny lately.
You mean funny funny
or funny strange?
Funny strange.
Well,
if she's missing,
we ought to organize
a searching party.
Oh, that's
a good idea.
Well, come on, gilligan. She's
probably at the other end
of the island.
Hey, wait.
If she's on the other end
of the island
why don't
we just call her?
Hello! Hello!
Hello!
The professor
hasn't strung
those wires yet.
Oh, yeah.
Cancel that last call.
Come on, gilligan.
Skipper: Ginger!
Ginger!
Gilligan: Ginger!
Ginger!
Ginger!
Oh, we'll never find her
this way.
We've got to split up.
Split up? Oh, skipper,
we've been together
too long.
You're like a father
to me.
Gilligan--
i remember once--
gilligan, what I mean is
we'll have to separate.
That way we can cover
more territory.
Oh.
Now, I'll go over here,
and you go out over there.
Right, skipper.
Oh, gilligan!
I said out there!
Ginger!
Ginger!
Hey, ginger!
Skipper: Ginger!
She's not over here.
She's not over here.
She's not
over here. Awk!
[Squawks]
Ginger!
[Ginger sobbing]
Oh, there you are!
We've been looking
all over for you.
That must be
a pretty sad story
to make you cry
like that.
Oh, gilligan.
This was supposed to be
my opening night.
I was going
to make my debut.
I was supposed to star
in this play.
I was in a play once
in school.
It was called
our friends in the forest.
I played
a squirrel,
oh, please!
And all I had to do
was gather nuts
while the rest of the animals
sat around and did nothing.
I gathered nuts and nuts,
and by the time winter came
I had plenty
to eat, but--
I know. All the other
animals went hungry.
You saw the play.
Oh, gilligan.
You just
don't understand.
You just
don't understand.
This play
was especially
written for me.
Why, I would
have been famous
overnight
if I got to do it.
All Broadway
would have been
at my feet.
Gee.
Why, a new star
would have been born.
My name would
have been assured
among the greats.
Producers would be
clamoring for me.
You know what,
ginger?
What?
You oughta be
on the stage.
Oh, gilligan!
You don't understand
at all!
You just
don't understand.
I don't think
it's going to do
much good
to take this
to ginger, skipper.
Well, you tell her
she's got to eat that.
She's got have
her strength kept up.
Oh, I'll try.
Poor girl.
Wish there was something
i could do for her.
Why don't
you help her
carry the tray?
Oh, not her, gilligan.
For ginger.
Oh.
She's still
pretty broken up.
I don't blame her.
I was just reading
the play.
It's pretty good.
Lots of action in it.
Listen to this...
Quiet!
Not another word!
I will take
this sword
and split
your skull.
I will throw off
these chains.
I refuse to be
your slave.
I will
no longer toil
for a thankless
tyrant,
who will never
allow--
here, here, here!
What's going on here?
A mutiny?
Don't worry,
Mr. howell--
don't you talk to me,
you scurvy mutineer!
Captain,
throw this man in irons!
Oh, relax, Mr. howell.
This is not a mutiny.
He's just reading
some lines from a play.
Uh, a play?
Yes.
Reading
some lines--
well, if there's one thing
i can't stand
is a mutiny before lunch.
See, Mr. howell.
It's a script.
Oh, a script.
Oh, yes.
Title,
a pyramid for two
big set, small cast.
It's ginger's play.
She was supposed to have been
on Broadway last night.
Oh, well,
I'd like to read it.
I backed a few shows
in my time.
Musicals, you know.
Dancing girls.
It's the only business
where you can be a devil
when you're
an angel.
You get it?
No.
Well, a backer is called
an angel--never mind.
Mr. howell,
maybe you could back
this play.
Me?
Sure, Mr. howell.
We can try it out here
and if it's good,
we can take it to Broadway.
Well,
i don't know...
Why don't you do it,
Mr. howell?
It would be
a lot of prestige.
I've got prestige.
And if it's a hit,
you make a million dollars.
I've got
a million dollars.
If it's a flop,
you can deduct it
from your income tax.
Now you're talking!
Oh, ginger, you've got
to eat something.
Oh, come on, honey.
Snap out of it.
Thanks, Mary Ann.
I'll be alright.
Oh, here.
You've always admired this.
Wear it a little while.
Maybe it'll make you
feel better.
Gilligan:
Ginger! Hey, ginger!
Gilligan!
She's in here.
Hey, ginger.
Ginger, guess what?
Mr. howell's going
to put the play on.
Oh, that's
wonderful!
What?
What's wonderful about it?
So what, if he puts
my play on here.
You don't understand.
We'll put it on here first,
and if it's real good,
Mr. howell will take it
to Broadway.
Meanwhile, the island's...
The island's kind of like
off-Broadway.
Oh!
Oh, that's great!
Oh, Mr. howell
has all kinds
of influence.
If anyone
can make you a star,
he can.
Oh, gilligan,
you've made me
so happy.
You're wonderful!
You're just marvelous.
I don't know how
to describe you,
you're so great.
[Bonk]
Let's see now.
Whom can I get
to play
the leading man
in this play?
Well, what's
he like, dear?
Well, the part calls
for someone who has
a magnificent physique
ravishingly handsome,
marvelous diction.
I know who would be
perfect
but I'll be too busy
directing the play.
Alright.
Back to business.
Now, let's finish
typing the parts.
Well,
I'm ready, dear.
Marc Antony brings you
news from Rome.
The battle
goes well,
and the armies
move onward,
ever onward.
Have you got that,
my dear?
M-a-r...
C! Marc! There!
Uh, what did you say
after that, dear?
I see this is
going to be
a long rewrite.
Well, I've
never typed before
and this typewriter's
very confusing.
They have the abcs
all mixed up.
Mr. howell!
Mr. howell!
Oh, gilligan told me
you're going to produce
my play.
Oh, you've made me
the happiest girl
in the world.
Come, my dear.
Let's not lose our heads.
I just wanted
to thank you,
Mr. howell
I'll see you
at rehearsal, huh?
Ta ta, my dear.
See you at the theater.
Emotional little creature,
isn't she?
Yes.
And if I were you,
I'd wipe her gratitude
off my face.
Oh! Yes, yes.
Of course.
Now, where were we,
my dear?
Marc.
A ship! Look, in the harbor.
I see a ship.
A ship, a ship!
We're saved!
Where is it?
Where is it?
Please, gilligan.
I'm practicing
my lines.
Your acting
sure is convincing.
I thought there was
a ship in the harbor.
Oh, gilligan.
I gotta change
my costume.
Oh.
Gee, professor.
You're doing
a real neat job.
Thanks, gilligan.
You know, these jungle berries
mixed with water
make excellent paint.
Mmm. And in case
the play's a flop,
we always can eat
the scenery.
I thought
you were supposed to be
fixing that door.
I already
finished it.
Look here.
See? It works
just fine. See?
Oh, no, gilligan,
that's wrong.
The door should open in,
not out.
Why? It works fine.
What's wrong with it
having open out?
[Skipper moans]
Sorry, skipper. I didn't know
you were there--
gilligan, how do you manage
to always do something--
never mind, gilligan!
Skipper,
skipper...
Are you mad?
Believe it
or not, yes!
Skipper, oh,
I'm glad you're here.
I want you to try on this toga
that I made for you.
See if it's
big enough.
Put your head
through there.
Where do I put
the rest of it, Mary Ann?
There! Oh, wait.
Alright, cast.
Rehearsal time.
Places, everyone.
Marc Antony, Caesar,
Julius, Marc...
Professor: Here we are,
Mr. howell.
Oh, oh, fine.
How do I look,
Mr. howell?
Well, I know
in the play
that Cleopatra's
supposed to be
crazy about you,
but you're
not exactly
my type.
By the way, where is
the queen of the nile?
Here I am.
How do I look?
Oh, you look
ravishing.
I must say,
you look ravishing.
I envy that snake, my dear.
Thank you.
Well, shall we
get on with it?
Alright, everyone.
Clear the stage,
clear the stage.
Now, in this one, you haven't
seen your lover for ages,
you understand?
You're yearning for him.
You're pining for him.
You're over there
by the window
when you see the ship.
Alright, alright.
Places. Let's go.
Look! I see a ship...
In the harbor.
I see a ship!
A ship! A ship!
Where? We're saved!
Where is it?
Where is it?
Gilligan, what
are you doing?
Oh, it's just
the play.
Yes, yes.
Would you mind
clearing the stage--
get off there!
Where were we... oh, yes, yes.
You're over there
by the window
and the maid
brings in the nectar.
Is the maid there?
Lovey:
Yes, I'm ready.
Alright, alright.
Places.
Take it from the top.
A ship! Look!
In the harbor,
i see a ship.
What is this?!
Hurry, dear!
I bring you--
oh, go get it!
Don't yell at me.
I bring you--
I bring you nectar,
my queen.
Lovey, my dear,
you mustn't cross
in front of
a big star.
Oh?
Try it again.
I bring you nectar,
my queen.
Thank you!
No, ginger.
Ginger, you mustn't
say thank you.
See, th-that's
a servant.
That's a non-entity,
a very lowly person,
you understand?
And incidentally,
you look every inch
a queen.
Proud and beautiful,
accustomed
to the adoration
of the world.
Thurston?
You're beautiful.
Thurston!
Oh, yes! Yes, yes,
what is it, dear?
I'd like a word
with you alone.
Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
Maintain that mood.
Yes.
Yes, my dear,
what is it?
Thurston, do you
remember the day
we got married?
Indeed, I do.
That was the day
consolidated general
jumped 17 points.
Do you
still love me?
Of course, I do, darling.
I adore you.
You're...You're
Mrs. thurston howell III.
Well, doesn't it
bother you
that Mrs. thurston
howell III
should have such
a teensy weensy part
in her husband's
play?
I never thought of it
that way.
A howell
playing a maid.
Well, it isn't exactly
typecasting, is it?
But the only parts left are,
let's see...
The, uh, high priestess?
Slave girl?
Lady in waiting?
Well, the only part left
is Cleopatra.
Alright.
On stage, everyone.
Everyone on stage.
That's it. On the double.
Now, I have
a announcement to make.
I've decided on
a slight cast change.
Mrs. howell will play
the part of Cleopatra,
and ginger will play
the part of the maid.
[Sobs]
But, Mr. howell,
ginger had
her heart set
on playing
that part.
That's showbiz.
A ship! Look in the harbor.
I see a ship.
A ship? A ship?
Oh, we're saved!
Where--
gilligan!
Oh. Still the play, huh?
Gilligan, what's
wrong with you?
Will you
get backstage?
Excuse me, Mr. howell.
I'll just go
fix the scene.
Really. Alright,
lovey, my dear.
Take it
from the top.
A ship.
Look in the harbor.
I see a ship!
That's the cue
for the maid
to enter
with the nectar.
Where is the maid?
Ginger, ginger,
where's ginger?
I'm sorry, Mr. howell,
but I'm afraid
Cleopatra'll have
to go on the wagon.
Ginger refuses to play
the part of the maid.
Oh, dear. It's so hard
to keep help these days.
Pretty hard,
Mr. howell.
She went
back to her hut.
I think
she was crying.
Oh, temperament!
I tell you,
all you actresses
are little children
in a tantrum world!
Ah, you're all
against me!
I can't put on a show
with this temperament!
Do you hear me?
If there's one thing
i can't stand
it's temperament!
Temperament!
[Crying]
Don't cry, ginger.
I know how you feel
but it's not
the end of the world.
I was gonna
be discovered.
I was gonna
open on Broadway.
I was gonna
be a star!
Now look at me!
You're right.
It's the end of the world.
Oh, gilligan,
stop that.
That's no way
to cheer her up.
Oh, yeah, I was
supposed to cheer her up.
Look on the bright side,
ginger.
Maybe we'll
never be rescued
and maybe we'll be
marooned on this island
for the rest of our lives.
Then there'll be
no Broadway, no play,
no nothing. Ha ha.
I may do
something desperate.
Oh, gilligan, out!
Huh?
Out! Out!
You trying
to tell me something?
I certainly am.
Out, gilligan!
Oh, my fair queen,
come away with me
and share my--
skipper?
Just a minute,
gilligan.
But, skipper, I want
to talk to you.
It's about ginger.
Remember we--
gilligan, please.
Can't you see that
I'm rehearsing my lines?
Oh.
Oh, my fair queen
come away with me
and share my lot.
Our love will--
our love--
our love will last
all through et--
eternity.
Eternity?
Eternity!
Think we can talk
now, skipper, huh?
Now can we talk?
Well, you're a fine pal.
I mean, what'd you
think of my acting?
Your acting?
That last speech I made.
What did you think of it?
I don't know.
I wasn't listening.
Well, listen this time.
I'll do it over again.
I want your opinion.
But, skipper, I want
to talk to you.
Gilligan, will you
stop and listen?
Oh, my fair queen--
that was just great,
skipper. Just great!
Gilligan,
i haven't even said it.
Yeah, but now
can we talk?
Will you go away
and let me alone
and do my rehearsing
by myself?
[Sighs]
Oh, my fair gilligan--
oh, my--
oh, my fair--
my heart,
it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
That is very good.
Very good, lovey.
Now remember,
Cleopatra is
a woman of passion
and she is waiting
for her lover
Marc Antony
to return from Rome.
Got that?
I think so.
Your eyes
are glowing.
Your temples
are pounding.
Your heart
is beating fast.
Your anxiety
is such that you
can hardly breathe.
Just pretend
that you've eaten
a Hungarian dinner.
Oh, yes!
Very good.
I knew you'd get it.
Are--are you ready,
Marc Antony?
I'm ready, Mr. howell.
Just give me my cue.
Good, good, good.
Curtain. Lights.
You're on, my dear.
My heart beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
Skipper,
can I talk to you?
Not now, gilligan.
I'm waiting for my cue.
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
That's my cue.
Please, skipper.
Well, Marc Antony,
say something.
I forgot my line,
Mr. howell.
"O gracious queen,
greet thy happy sailor."
Trippingly.
I--i--
i got it now.
I got it.
Now, skipper? Now?
Not now, gilligan.
But you promised.
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
O gracious greet,
queen thy happy sailor.
In the name
of Richard Burton
what are you doing?
I'm sorry, Mr. howell,
but it's gilligan.
He's pestering me.
Never mind that.
We'll take care of that.
Do it again,
will you please?
Alright, sir.
Now, skipper?
Now, huh?
Not now, gilligan!
For goodness sakes
help with the scenery
or the props
or do something!
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
O gracious sailor,
queen thy happy greet!
Skipper:
Please, Mr. howell,
just once more?
Just once more.
Alright.
Really, darling.
How can I perform
when the other actors
can't remember their lines?
Never mind, lovey.
Calm down.
He's a slow study.
Mrs. howell:
I can scarce hear my--
Mr. howell: Gilligan!
What are you doing
with that ladder?
The professor has
to paint the scenery.
Well, not now.
We're rehearsing!
Okay. I'll take it
backstage.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
Aaah!
Oh, that last rehearsal,
my dear, was simply marvelous.
With my directing
and my producing
this play could be
a big Broadway hit.
Thurston,
you haven't said a word
about my performance.
No, I haven't, have I?
Well, it's an oversight
on my part.
Eh, may I say, my dear,
that you are simply splendid.
Oh, thank you,
thurston.
Even ginger, whom
i replaced in the part
paid me a compliment.
She compared me to a famous
television personality.
Oh, good.
By the way,
who is Mr. ed?
I haven't any idea.
I wonder why she didn't
compare you to Mrs. ed.
I can hardly wait
for tomorrow night.
Opening night. Lot of details
to attend to, my dear.
See you later.
Mm.
Hello, gilligan, my boy.
Hi, Mr. howell.
Can I talk
to Mrs. howell?
There she is--
Cleopatra.
See you later.
Hi, Mrs. howell.
I hope you're not
gonna get mad at me
for what I'm gonna say.
It's got nothing to do
with your acting.
I think that's real good.
Maybe even better
than Mr. Ed's.
But you see, the reason
we put this play on
in the first place
was because ginger was
feeling so terrible
about Broadway
and you're a very
important woman,
Mrs. howell.
You got
everything you want
but this play is
the only thing ginger's got.
And, uh, I hope you're
not getting mad at me.
See, ginger's
getting real desperate
and I thought that
maybe if you'd, uh...
I guess you're
getting mad at me.
You haven't
said a single word.
What?
What's the matter,
Mrs. howell?
Mr. howell? Mr. howell?
What is it, gilligan?
She's talking,
but nothing's coming out.
Lovey, my dear,
what is it?
By George,
she's got laryngitis.
Yeah, and she
lost her voice, too.
A star with laryngitis.
Oh, it's the scourge
of every producer.
What are you gonna do,
Mr. howell?
I'll have to call off
the show.
I'm an angel
with my wings clipped.
Why don't you use ginger?
She knows all the lines.
Well, I don't know.
Mr. howell,
I saw a movie once
and just before
the star went on
she fell down
and broke both her arms.
Or was it
both her legs?
Well, anyhow, there was
a girl in the chorus
and she knew all the lines
and all the dances
and the producer was
going out of his mind
when all of a sudden
he yelled--
get the understudy!
You saw the picture,
too.
On the late show.
Go, my boy!
Lovey, try.
Here we go, my dear.
Oh, no, sir.
Here's your seat
right up here, sir.
Nonsense!
I always sit
second row center
with Mrs. howell!
May I see your ticket,
please, sir?
Yeah,
you'll see it--
what are you
talking about?
Get backstage,
will you? Alright.
The first-nighters
are here.
Curtain!
[Horn fanfare
playing]
Beautiful set!
Ginger: A ship.
Look, in the harbor.
I see a ship.
Your nectar,
oh, my queen.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
I'm too excited.
My lover's ship
is in the harbor.
Oh, I must send him
this message.
Send in the royal
messenger.
No, no, no.
You sent for me,
o queen?
Oh, yes.
Yes, I did.
I want you
to send this message
to my lover
Marc Antony.
But wait. No.
You will
be recognized.
Send in my maid.
Huh?
My maid.
Send my maid in.
Yes, o queen.
You sent for me,
o queen?
Oh, yes. Yes.
I've decided that you
must take this message
to my lover Marc Antony.
Yes, o queen.
But wait! A woman!
You will be suspect.
Send in my aged
but trustworthy major-domo.
Send him in immediately.
Yeah, that figures.
Look, why don't i--
why don't you
give me the message,
and I can give it
to him.
No, no, no, no, no.
I must--i must entrust it
to him with my own hands.
Your maid said
you wanted me, o queen?
Yes, yes.
Deliver this message,
but be careful.
Caesar's spies
are everywhere.
I will be careful,
o queen.
You know what to do
if you're caught?
I'll eat it.
Good, good, good.
This message
must not fall
into Caesar's hands.
Hark!
I hear footsteps.
It's Caesar!
No, no,
i was mistaken.
It's not Caesar.
Give me back
the message.
Give me back
the message.
Too late, o queen.
It's wonderful, dear,
and the next act
is even more dramatic.
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
[Footsteps]
Slave, open the door.
Slave, open the door.
Hunh!
O gracious queen,
oh!
Greet thy happy sailor!
Wasn't she magnificent,
dear?
Bravo, bravo!
Bravo! Bra--
what did you say?
I said bravo.
You--you didn't have
laryngitis after all.
You were just being noble.
I was just
being a howell.
Bravo! Bravo!
Bravo! Bravo!
Simply marvelous!
Ooh! Ow!
Gilligan!
Gilligan, little buddy!
Uuuhh!
Come on, skipper.
Here.
I'm sorry, skipper.
Gilligan, never mind!
Never mind, gilligan!
I was just hanging up
the wash to dry.
I saw that you were.
Gilligan, I wanted
to talk to you
about something.
Well, Mr. howell
really liked the play,
didn't he?
He sure did. He's gonna
put it on Broadway
when we get off
the island.
Exactly.
Now, gilligan
I want you
to forget something.
Understand?
I want you to forget
that I'm your skipper.
It's forgotten.
And I want you
to forget that
you work for me.
It's forgotten.
And I want you to forget
that I'm twice
as big as you are.
It's forgotten.
Gilligan,
what did you think
of my Marc Antony,
little buddy?
It's forgotten.
Come on now,
gilligan.
What did you
really think?
Terrible, terrible,
terrible.
Don't pay
any attention to him.
He just says
what he's taught.
Uh-huh. And who's
been teaching him?
Gilligan, gilligan,
gilligan. Awk!
Blabbermouth.
¶ They're here
for a long, long time ¶
¶ they'll have to make ¶
¶ the best of things ¶
¶ it's an uphill climb ¶
¶ the first mate
and his skipper, too ¶
¶ will do their very best ¶
¶ to make
the others comfortable ¶
¶ in their
tropic island nest ¶
¶ no phone ¶
¶ no lights ¶
¶ no motor cars,
not a single luxury ¶
¶ like Robinson crusoe ¶
¶ it's primitive as can be ¶
¶ so join us here each week,
my friends ¶
¶ you're sure
to get a smile ¶
¶ from 7 stranded
castaways ¶
¶ here on gilligan's isle ¶
and you'll hear a tale ¶
¶ a tale of a fateful trip ¶
¶ that started
from this tropic port ¶
¶ aboard this tiny ship ¶
¶ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ¶
¶ the skipper brave and sure ¶
¶ 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ¶
¶ a 3-hour tour ¶
[thunder]
¶ The weather started
getting rough ¶
¶ the tiny ship was tossed ¶
¶ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ¶
¶ the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ¶
¶ the ship set ground
on the shore of this ¶
¶ uncharted desert isle ¶
¶ with gilligan ¶
¶ the skipper, too ¶
¶ the millionaire and his wife ¶
¶ the movie star ¶
¶ and the rest ¶
¶ are here on gilligan's isle ¶
hello, hello.
Testing, 1,2,3,4.
Can you hear me?
Yes, gilligan.
I can hear you fine.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
Uh, yeah, I can hear you.
Can you hear me?
Yes, gilligan,
i can hear you fine.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
That professor sure
is smart to invent
this telephone system.
That's right,
gilligan,
and he's going to string
wires all over.
That way we can talk
any place on the island.
Gilligan! Skipper!
Have you seen ginger?
She's been gone
all morning.
Well, no I haven't.
She wasn't at breakfast.
Oh, I'm awfully worried
about her.
She's been acting
so funny lately.
You mean funny funny
or funny strange?
Funny strange.
Well,
if she's missing,
we ought to organize
a searching party.
Oh, that's
a good idea.
Well, come on, gilligan. She's
probably at the other end
of the island.
Hey, wait.
If she's on the other end
of the island
why don't
we just call her?
Hello! Hello!
Hello!
The professor
hasn't strung
those wires yet.
Oh, yeah.
Cancel that last call.
Come on, gilligan.
Skipper: Ginger!
Ginger!
Gilligan: Ginger!
Ginger!
Ginger!
Oh, we'll never find her
this way.
We've got to split up.
Split up? Oh, skipper,
we've been together
too long.
You're like a father
to me.
Gilligan--
i remember once--
gilligan, what I mean is
we'll have to separate.
That way we can cover
more territory.
Oh.
Now, I'll go over here,
and you go out over there.
Right, skipper.
Oh, gilligan!
I said out there!
Ginger!
Ginger!
Hey, ginger!
Skipper: Ginger!
She's not over here.
She's not over here.
She's not
over here. Awk!
[Squawks]
Ginger!
[Ginger sobbing]
Oh, there you are!
We've been looking
all over for you.
That must be
a pretty sad story
to make you cry
like that.
Oh, gilligan.
This was supposed to be
my opening night.
I was going
to make my debut.
I was supposed to star
in this play.
I was in a play once
in school.
It was called
our friends in the forest.
I played
a squirrel,
oh, please!
And all I had to do
was gather nuts
while the rest of the animals
sat around and did nothing.
I gathered nuts and nuts,
and by the time winter came
I had plenty
to eat, but--
I know. All the other
animals went hungry.
You saw the play.
Oh, gilligan.
You just
don't understand.
You just
don't understand.
This play
was especially
written for me.
Why, I would
have been famous
overnight
if I got to do it.
All Broadway
would have been
at my feet.
Gee.
Why, a new star
would have been born.
My name would
have been assured
among the greats.
Producers would be
clamoring for me.
You know what,
ginger?
What?
You oughta be
on the stage.
Oh, gilligan!
You don't understand
at all!
You just
don't understand.
I don't think
it's going to do
much good
to take this
to ginger, skipper.
Well, you tell her
she's got to eat that.
She's got have
her strength kept up.
Oh, I'll try.
Poor girl.
Wish there was something
i could do for her.
Why don't
you help her
carry the tray?
Oh, not her, gilligan.
For ginger.
Oh.
She's still
pretty broken up.
I don't blame her.
I was just reading
the play.
It's pretty good.
Lots of action in it.
Listen to this...
Quiet!
Not another word!
I will take
this sword
and split
your skull.
I will throw off
these chains.
I refuse to be
your slave.
I will
no longer toil
for a thankless
tyrant,
who will never
allow--
here, here, here!
What's going on here?
A mutiny?
Don't worry,
Mr. howell--
don't you talk to me,
you scurvy mutineer!
Captain,
throw this man in irons!
Oh, relax, Mr. howell.
This is not a mutiny.
He's just reading
some lines from a play.
Uh, a play?
Yes.
Reading
some lines--
well, if there's one thing
i can't stand
is a mutiny before lunch.
See, Mr. howell.
It's a script.
Oh, a script.
Oh, yes.
Title,
a pyramid for two
big set, small cast.
It's ginger's play.
She was supposed to have been
on Broadway last night.
Oh, well,
I'd like to read it.
I backed a few shows
in my time.
Musicals, you know.
Dancing girls.
It's the only business
where you can be a devil
when you're
an angel.
You get it?
No.
Well, a backer is called
an angel--never mind.
Mr. howell,
maybe you could back
this play.
Me?
Sure, Mr. howell.
We can try it out here
and if it's good,
we can take it to Broadway.
Well,
i don't know...
Why don't you do it,
Mr. howell?
It would be
a lot of prestige.
I've got prestige.
And if it's a hit,
you make a million dollars.
I've got
a million dollars.
If it's a flop,
you can deduct it
from your income tax.
Now you're talking!
Oh, ginger, you've got
to eat something.
Oh, come on, honey.
Snap out of it.
Thanks, Mary Ann.
I'll be alright.
Oh, here.
You've always admired this.
Wear it a little while.
Maybe it'll make you
feel better.
Gilligan:
Ginger! Hey, ginger!
Gilligan!
She's in here.
Hey, ginger.
Ginger, guess what?
Mr. howell's going
to put the play on.
Oh, that's
wonderful!
What?
What's wonderful about it?
So what, if he puts
my play on here.
You don't understand.
We'll put it on here first,
and if it's real good,
Mr. howell will take it
to Broadway.
Meanwhile, the island's...
The island's kind of like
off-Broadway.
Oh!
Oh, that's great!
Oh, Mr. howell
has all kinds
of influence.
If anyone
can make you a star,
he can.
Oh, gilligan,
you've made me
so happy.
You're wonderful!
You're just marvelous.
I don't know how
to describe you,
you're so great.
[Bonk]
Let's see now.
Whom can I get
to play
the leading man
in this play?
Well, what's
he like, dear?
Well, the part calls
for someone who has
a magnificent physique
ravishingly handsome,
marvelous diction.
I know who would be
perfect
but I'll be too busy
directing the play.
Alright.
Back to business.
Now, let's finish
typing the parts.
Well,
I'm ready, dear.
Marc Antony brings you
news from Rome.
The battle
goes well,
and the armies
move onward,
ever onward.
Have you got that,
my dear?
M-a-r...
C! Marc! There!
Uh, what did you say
after that, dear?
I see this is
going to be
a long rewrite.
Well, I've
never typed before
and this typewriter's
very confusing.
They have the abcs
all mixed up.
Mr. howell!
Mr. howell!
Oh, gilligan told me
you're going to produce
my play.
Oh, you've made me
the happiest girl
in the world.
Come, my dear.
Let's not lose our heads.
I just wanted
to thank you,
Mr. howell
I'll see you
at rehearsal, huh?
Ta ta, my dear.
See you at the theater.
Emotional little creature,
isn't she?
Yes.
And if I were you,
I'd wipe her gratitude
off my face.
Oh! Yes, yes.
Of course.
Now, where were we,
my dear?
Marc.
A ship! Look, in the harbor.
I see a ship.
A ship, a ship!
We're saved!
Where is it?
Where is it?
Please, gilligan.
I'm practicing
my lines.
Your acting
sure is convincing.
I thought there was
a ship in the harbor.
Oh, gilligan.
I gotta change
my costume.
Oh.
Gee, professor.
You're doing
a real neat job.
Thanks, gilligan.
You know, these jungle berries
mixed with water
make excellent paint.
Mmm. And in case
the play's a flop,
we always can eat
the scenery.
I thought
you were supposed to be
fixing that door.
I already
finished it.
Look here.
See? It works
just fine. See?
Oh, no, gilligan,
that's wrong.
The door should open in,
not out.
Why? It works fine.
What's wrong with it
having open out?
[Skipper moans]
Sorry, skipper. I didn't know
you were there--
gilligan, how do you manage
to always do something--
never mind, gilligan!
Skipper,
skipper...
Are you mad?
Believe it
or not, yes!
Skipper, oh,
I'm glad you're here.
I want you to try on this toga
that I made for you.
See if it's
big enough.
Put your head
through there.
Where do I put
the rest of it, Mary Ann?
There! Oh, wait.
Alright, cast.
Rehearsal time.
Places, everyone.
Marc Antony, Caesar,
Julius, Marc...
Professor: Here we are,
Mr. howell.
Oh, oh, fine.
How do I look,
Mr. howell?
Well, I know
in the play
that Cleopatra's
supposed to be
crazy about you,
but you're
not exactly
my type.
By the way, where is
the queen of the nile?
Here I am.
How do I look?
Oh, you look
ravishing.
I must say,
you look ravishing.
I envy that snake, my dear.
Thank you.
Well, shall we
get on with it?
Alright, everyone.
Clear the stage,
clear the stage.
Now, in this one, you haven't
seen your lover for ages,
you understand?
You're yearning for him.
You're pining for him.
You're over there
by the window
when you see the ship.
Alright, alright.
Places. Let's go.
Look! I see a ship...
In the harbor.
I see a ship!
A ship! A ship!
Where? We're saved!
Where is it?
Where is it?
Gilligan, what
are you doing?
Oh, it's just
the play.
Yes, yes.
Would you mind
clearing the stage--
get off there!
Where were we... oh, yes, yes.
You're over there
by the window
and the maid
brings in the nectar.
Is the maid there?
Lovey:
Yes, I'm ready.
Alright, alright.
Places.
Take it from the top.
A ship! Look!
In the harbor,
i see a ship.
What is this?!
Hurry, dear!
I bring you--
oh, go get it!
Don't yell at me.
I bring you--
I bring you nectar,
my queen.
Lovey, my dear,
you mustn't cross
in front of
a big star.
Oh?
Try it again.
I bring you nectar,
my queen.
Thank you!
No, ginger.
Ginger, you mustn't
say thank you.
See, th-that's
a servant.
That's a non-entity,
a very lowly person,
you understand?
And incidentally,
you look every inch
a queen.
Proud and beautiful,
accustomed
to the adoration
of the world.
Thurston?
You're beautiful.
Thurston!
Oh, yes! Yes, yes,
what is it, dear?
I'd like a word
with you alone.
Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
Maintain that mood.
Yes.
Yes, my dear,
what is it?
Thurston, do you
remember the day
we got married?
Indeed, I do.
That was the day
consolidated general
jumped 17 points.
Do you
still love me?
Of course, I do, darling.
I adore you.
You're...You're
Mrs. thurston howell III.
Well, doesn't it
bother you
that Mrs. thurston
howell III
should have such
a teensy weensy part
in her husband's
play?
I never thought of it
that way.
A howell
playing a maid.
Well, it isn't exactly
typecasting, is it?
But the only parts left are,
let's see...
The, uh, high priestess?
Slave girl?
Lady in waiting?
Well, the only part left
is Cleopatra.
Alright.
On stage, everyone.
Everyone on stage.
That's it. On the double.
Now, I have
a announcement to make.
I've decided on
a slight cast change.
Mrs. howell will play
the part of Cleopatra,
and ginger will play
the part of the maid.
[Sobs]
But, Mr. howell,
ginger had
her heart set
on playing
that part.
That's showbiz.
A ship! Look in the harbor.
I see a ship.
A ship? A ship?
Oh, we're saved!
Where--
gilligan!
Oh. Still the play, huh?
Gilligan, what's
wrong with you?
Will you
get backstage?
Excuse me, Mr. howell.
I'll just go
fix the scene.
Really. Alright,
lovey, my dear.
Take it
from the top.
A ship.
Look in the harbor.
I see a ship!
That's the cue
for the maid
to enter
with the nectar.
Where is the maid?
Ginger, ginger,
where's ginger?
I'm sorry, Mr. howell,
but I'm afraid
Cleopatra'll have
to go on the wagon.
Ginger refuses to play
the part of the maid.
Oh, dear. It's so hard
to keep help these days.
Pretty hard,
Mr. howell.
She went
back to her hut.
I think
she was crying.
Oh, temperament!
I tell you,
all you actresses
are little children
in a tantrum world!
Ah, you're all
against me!
I can't put on a show
with this temperament!
Do you hear me?
If there's one thing
i can't stand
it's temperament!
Temperament!
[Crying]
Don't cry, ginger.
I know how you feel
but it's not
the end of the world.
I was gonna
be discovered.
I was gonna
open on Broadway.
I was gonna
be a star!
Now look at me!
You're right.
It's the end of the world.
Oh, gilligan,
stop that.
That's no way
to cheer her up.
Oh, yeah, I was
supposed to cheer her up.
Look on the bright side,
ginger.
Maybe we'll
never be rescued
and maybe we'll be
marooned on this island
for the rest of our lives.
Then there'll be
no Broadway, no play,
no nothing. Ha ha.
I may do
something desperate.
Oh, gilligan, out!
Huh?
Out! Out!
You trying
to tell me something?
I certainly am.
Out, gilligan!
Oh, my fair queen,
come away with me
and share my--
skipper?
Just a minute,
gilligan.
But, skipper, I want
to talk to you.
It's about ginger.
Remember we--
gilligan, please.
Can't you see that
I'm rehearsing my lines?
Oh.
Oh, my fair queen
come away with me
and share my lot.
Our love will--
our love--
our love will last
all through et--
eternity.
Eternity?
Eternity!
Think we can talk
now, skipper, huh?
Now can we talk?
Well, you're a fine pal.
I mean, what'd you
think of my acting?
Your acting?
That last speech I made.
What did you think of it?
I don't know.
I wasn't listening.
Well, listen this time.
I'll do it over again.
I want your opinion.
But, skipper, I want
to talk to you.
Gilligan, will you
stop and listen?
Oh, my fair queen--
that was just great,
skipper. Just great!
Gilligan,
i haven't even said it.
Yeah, but now
can we talk?
Will you go away
and let me alone
and do my rehearsing
by myself?
[Sighs]
Oh, my fair gilligan--
oh, my--
oh, my fair--
my heart,
it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
That is very good.
Very good, lovey.
Now remember,
Cleopatra is
a woman of passion
and she is waiting
for her lover
Marc Antony
to return from Rome.
Got that?
I think so.
Your eyes
are glowing.
Your temples
are pounding.
Your heart
is beating fast.
Your anxiety
is such that you
can hardly breathe.
Just pretend
that you've eaten
a Hungarian dinner.
Oh, yes!
Very good.
I knew you'd get it.
Are--are you ready,
Marc Antony?
I'm ready, Mr. howell.
Just give me my cue.
Good, good, good.
Curtain. Lights.
You're on, my dear.
My heart beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
Skipper,
can I talk to you?
Not now, gilligan.
I'm waiting for my cue.
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
That's my cue.
Please, skipper.
Well, Marc Antony,
say something.
I forgot my line,
Mr. howell.
"O gracious queen,
greet thy happy sailor."
Trippingly.
I--i--
i got it now.
I got it.
Now, skipper? Now?
Not now, gilligan.
But you promised.
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
O gracious greet,
queen thy happy sailor.
In the name
of Richard Burton
what are you doing?
I'm sorry, Mr. howell,
but it's gilligan.
He's pestering me.
Never mind that.
We'll take care of that.
Do it again,
will you please?
Alright, sir.
Now, skipper?
Now, huh?
Not now, gilligan!
For goodness sakes
help with the scenery
or the props
or do something!
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
O gracious sailor,
queen thy happy greet!
Skipper:
Please, Mr. howell,
just once more?
Just once more.
Alright.
Really, darling.
How can I perform
when the other actors
can't remember their lines?
Never mind, lovey.
Calm down.
He's a slow study.
Mrs. howell:
I can scarce hear my--
Mr. howell: Gilligan!
What are you doing
with that ladder?
The professor has
to paint the scenery.
Well, not now.
We're rehearsing!
Okay. I'll take it
backstage.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
Aaah!
Oh, that last rehearsal,
my dear, was simply marvelous.
With my directing
and my producing
this play could be
a big Broadway hit.
Thurston,
you haven't said a word
about my performance.
No, I haven't, have I?
Well, it's an oversight
on my part.
Eh, may I say, my dear,
that you are simply splendid.
Oh, thank you,
thurston.
Even ginger, whom
i replaced in the part
paid me a compliment.
She compared me to a famous
television personality.
Oh, good.
By the way,
who is Mr. ed?
I haven't any idea.
I wonder why she didn't
compare you to Mrs. ed.
I can hardly wait
for tomorrow night.
Opening night. Lot of details
to attend to, my dear.
See you later.
Mm.
Hello, gilligan, my boy.
Hi, Mr. howell.
Can I talk
to Mrs. howell?
There she is--
Cleopatra.
See you later.
Hi, Mrs. howell.
I hope you're not
gonna get mad at me
for what I'm gonna say.
It's got nothing to do
with your acting.
I think that's real good.
Maybe even better
than Mr. Ed's.
But you see, the reason
we put this play on
in the first place
was because ginger was
feeling so terrible
about Broadway
and you're a very
important woman,
Mrs. howell.
You got
everything you want
but this play is
the only thing ginger's got.
And, uh, I hope you're
not getting mad at me.
See, ginger's
getting real desperate
and I thought that
maybe if you'd, uh...
I guess you're
getting mad at me.
You haven't
said a single word.
What?
What's the matter,
Mrs. howell?
Mr. howell? Mr. howell?
What is it, gilligan?
She's talking,
but nothing's coming out.
Lovey, my dear,
what is it?
By George,
she's got laryngitis.
Yeah, and she
lost her voice, too.
A star with laryngitis.
Oh, it's the scourge
of every producer.
What are you gonna do,
Mr. howell?
I'll have to call off
the show.
I'm an angel
with my wings clipped.
Why don't you use ginger?
She knows all the lines.
Well, I don't know.
Mr. howell,
I saw a movie once
and just before
the star went on
she fell down
and broke both her arms.
Or was it
both her legs?
Well, anyhow, there was
a girl in the chorus
and she knew all the lines
and all the dances
and the producer was
going out of his mind
when all of a sudden
he yelled--
get the understudy!
You saw the picture,
too.
On the late show.
Go, my boy!
Lovey, try.
Here we go, my dear.
Oh, no, sir.
Here's your seat
right up here, sir.
Nonsense!
I always sit
second row center
with Mrs. howell!
May I see your ticket,
please, sir?
Yeah,
you'll see it--
what are you
talking about?
Get backstage,
will you? Alright.
The first-nighters
are here.
Curtain!
[Horn fanfare
playing]
Beautiful set!
Ginger: A ship.
Look, in the harbor.
I see a ship.
Your nectar,
oh, my queen.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
I'm too excited.
My lover's ship
is in the harbor.
Oh, I must send him
this message.
Send in the royal
messenger.
No, no, no.
You sent for me,
o queen?
Oh, yes.
Yes, I did.
I want you
to send this message
to my lover
Marc Antony.
But wait. No.
You will
be recognized.
Send in my maid.
Huh?
My maid.
Send my maid in.
Yes, o queen.
You sent for me,
o queen?
Oh, yes. Yes.
I've decided that you
must take this message
to my lover Marc Antony.
Yes, o queen.
But wait! A woman!
You will be suspect.
Send in my aged
but trustworthy major-domo.
Send him in immediately.
Yeah, that figures.
Look, why don't i--
why don't you
give me the message,
and I can give it
to him.
No, no, no, no, no.
I must--i must entrust it
to him with my own hands.
Your maid said
you wanted me, o queen?
Yes, yes.
Deliver this message,
but be careful.
Caesar's spies
are everywhere.
I will be careful,
o queen.
You know what to do
if you're caught?
I'll eat it.
Good, good, good.
This message
must not fall
into Caesar's hands.
Hark!
I hear footsteps.
It's Caesar!
No, no,
i was mistaken.
It's not Caesar.
Give me back
the message.
Give me back
the message.
Too late, o queen.
It's wonderful, dear,
and the next act
is even more dramatic.
My heart, it beats so.
I can scarce hear
my lover's approach.
[Footsteps]
Slave, open the door.
Slave, open the door.
Hunh!
O gracious queen,
oh!
Greet thy happy sailor!
Wasn't she magnificent,
dear?
Bravo, bravo!
Bravo! Bra--
what did you say?
I said bravo.
You--you didn't have
laryngitis after all.
You were just being noble.
I was just
being a howell.
Bravo! Bravo!
Bravo! Bravo!
Simply marvelous!
Ooh! Ow!
Gilligan!
Gilligan, little buddy!
Uuuhh!
Come on, skipper.
Here.
I'm sorry, skipper.
Gilligan, never mind!
Never mind, gilligan!
I was just hanging up
the wash to dry.
I saw that you were.
Gilligan, I wanted
to talk to you
about something.
Well, Mr. howell
really liked the play,
didn't he?
He sure did. He's gonna
put it on Broadway
when we get off
the island.
Exactly.
Now, gilligan
I want you
to forget something.
Understand?
I want you to forget
that I'm your skipper.
It's forgotten.
And I want you
to forget that
you work for me.
It's forgotten.
And I want you to forget
that I'm twice
as big as you are.
It's forgotten.
Gilligan,
what did you think
of my Marc Antony,
little buddy?
It's forgotten.
Come on now,
gilligan.
What did you
really think?
Terrible, terrible,
terrible.
Don't pay
any attention to him.
He just says
what he's taught.
Uh-huh. And who's
been teaching him?
Gilligan, gilligan,
gilligan. Awk!
Blabbermouth.
¶ They're here
for a long, long time ¶
¶ they'll have to make ¶
¶ the best of things ¶
¶ it's an uphill climb ¶
¶ the first mate
and his skipper, too ¶
¶ will do their very best ¶
¶ to make
the others comfortable ¶
¶ in their
tropic island nest ¶
¶ no phone ¶
¶ no lights ¶
¶ no motor cars,
not a single luxury ¶
¶ like Robinson crusoe ¶
¶ it's primitive as can be ¶
¶ so join us here each week,
my friends ¶
¶ you're sure
to get a smile ¶
¶ from 7 stranded
castaways ¶
¶ here on gilligan's isle ¶