Generation (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Wheels on the Bussy - full transcript

Does anybody think maybe we should
involve any kind of adult ?

Most adults I can think of would
actually just make this worse.

I think we just have to pull
a Greta Thunberg and step up.

Oh my God, Greta Thunberg is so funny.

Just how she says everything
really deadpan.

Isn't that because she's autistic ?

Thanks for letting us come.
It's really nice of you. To be so nice.

No. Of course.

You ready ?

GENERATION

ONE WEEK EARLIER



But why San Francisco ?

And to spend money on a hotel
where it's freezing...

It's not freezing. It's for
a field trip for a club I'm in.

What club ?

- Film club.
- Film club ? That's a new one.

Anything else I should know about
my daughter before I come home ?

Cabrona, you didn't tell her ?

You're gonna be a grandmother.

Stop !
She's kidding. Stop...

If you ever do that to me again !

- What is that ugly thing ?
- Calm down. It's just a hat.

Look, maybe your rich friends at film
club talk to their mothers that way,

but you are not
gonna talk to me that way.

Not everyone gets to go to a good
school and go to special field trips.



You could be cleaning houses or doing
all kinds of work you would hate.

Sorry, Mami.

Sorry too. I just miss you.

- And I want you to know I love you.
- I love you too.

- And I miss you too.
- And that's a boys' hat.

So tell your tia clothes is one area
that I expected a bit more from her.

I can't fix all your damage.
What do you expect ?

When I get home
and my lawyer says it'll be soon,

there's gonna be some real changes.
Big changes !

Mamita, I gotta go. Okay ?
I love you.

- Stop sign, stop sign !
- I know !

- You gotta stop doing that.
- Doing what ?

- Stopping like that !
- How am I stopping ?!

- Like you're not going to !
- Except I did !

- You did, yes.
- You are so stressful !

- It is so soft, I die.
- I use Sleek & Shine leave-in.

My hand is orgasming.

- Can you maybe not do this right now ?
- Naomi ? Focus.

- Yeah, rude.
- Do you hear your son in the back ?

How is it that you two can be so sweet
to each other one minute,

and then a split second later
you're biting each other's heads off ?

You're changing the subject because
you obviously do hear him,

you just don't care
cuz it's with a girl.

Mom, can she focus on driving
so we don't die ?

- Shut the bleeping fuck.
- Naomi !

Get out. I'm driving.

- Naomi.
- What ?!

Be careful this weekend.

- And look out for your brother.
- Why is that my responsibility ?

Because you're a very responsible
person and I trust you.

Excuse me. Should I rethink my decision
to let you go on this trip ?

As I understand it, you barely even
attend meetings for this group.

Fine. Let him go
with all the gay kids.

I hope they make him really gay. And
that he comes home with a pierced ear.

My understanding is that there are
plenty of heterosexual children there.

That is what I was told.
Was I misinformed ?

I know it's hard, and I appreciate that

you might be feeling left out right now
with him dating your best friend.

- They're not dating, not really.
- They are. They definitely are.

- They definitely are.
- They're not dating !

I see what's going on.
I hear the "sexy talk."

Which I'm not crazy about, okay.
Obviously.

But I'm looking on Mr. Bright Side
of it.

I think maybe Nathan has finally
figured out what he wants.

Just watch out for him.

You want him to hook up with her so you
can think he's not the gay part of bi.

You just don't want him to hook up
too much.

I mean... You know. Those aren't
the exact words I'd have chosen.

It is literally so unfair !

You wanting them to hook up when you
know you'd shoot me for the same thing.

- That is so hypocritical.
- It's not hypocritical !

- How ?!
- I don't need you explain it !

- God is my judge.
- I wish you could hear yourself.

- You'd hate it. Can I go now ?
- You know what, I do hear myself.

All the time, and you know what else ?
I do hate it.

And guess what else ?
I'm the parent !

Look at her. Your girlfriend looks like
Pocahontas modeling for Teen Vogue.

I bet this whole trip is
so you can get in your her pants, huh ?

- She's not my girlfriend !
- As of and since when bitch ?

No, no. Do not let
your mother get in your head.

How ? Just like how ?

She's going to come back, and it's
going to suck. It just is.

Even today, even when she's not here
she has to control everything.

How am I supposed to live my life when
she comes back ?

Why would I even going down this road
when it literally just can't happen ?

Okay chula, I'm getting very impatient
with you.

If you want to go out there
and be unhappy

because you're scared of getting
what you want, be my guest.

Share these, okay ? I love you.
Now get out.

I need to get Angel's truck
back to him.

Have fun on your boring field trip !

If you end up at Twin Peaks Tavern
and meet a bouncer named Ken,

tell him suck my clit !

- Aw I wanted to say hi to Ana !
- Sorry.

You good ? You seem kinda somber.

Eh. Family shit.

- Is everything...
- I don't...

I don't really wanna get into it.
Sorry.

Be discreet.

Vanessa-Lynn Dolorian ?
That sounds so fake.

Kelsey Johnston ? Kelsey ?

Not even like Lopez or something ?

Babies...
Come here !

After bed check we are
individually meeting

at Bart by the hotel,
then heading to the Mission.

There are a bunch of bars down there
my cousin says are cool, so

we'll go have our Girls Gone Wild
moment

and then hopefully not get mugged
and murdered

and be back by 2:30, boom. And J,

you are our Jesus for getting these.

Tigers, everybody, gather,
let's focus up, come on.

Alright. There you go. Don't leave
anything behind.

San Francisco. Here we come, huh ?

Alright, what's up ?

Look at him, he just drops everything.
I love it.

Big day, folks !

We are takin' this bus to San Francisco
our very special screening of

Paris is Burning and Q and A
with Jennie Livingston herself !

Now we're gonna stop for lunch
and after that

we might even get to visit a place next
door called Ostrichville.

Guys, it's a huge privilege
to be doing this.

If we wanna do it every year,
we need to be adults today, meaning

no homicides, no robberies,
no armed batteries...

- What about arson ?
- Arson is okay. As a treat.

So no crimes except arson...

Listen to each other,
listen to Mrs. C and me, and

basically just don't be
fucking assholes, okay ?

We promise not to be
fucking assholes !

And no sneaking out.

Nothing that's gonna get you hurt or me
in trouble with your parents.

- What should we name the bus ?
- Miss Bus.

- Oh, she's a lady.
- Oh my God wait - The Bussy !

Everyone, get inside this bussy !

Wow - fifteen of us in one bussy ?
That's a wide open bussy !

- You're insane.
- Hope this bussy doesn't stink !

- What's a bussy ?
- And we're done with this.

- Let's go ! Seniority !
- Juniority.

Juniority ! Get back seats !

Freshman upfront !

Let's go. Let's make this easy on us.

I know !

Sit with us ! I need a bodyguard
against my literal evil twin.

Stuff your stuff way back in there,
way back in the bussy.

See, I told you it'd fit.

Alright, looks like we are all inside
the bussy. Let's go.

Always have this
on deck just in case.

- Hey Kelsey.
- Don't remind me.

Bitch, don't even.
Look at this.

Matt Schwartz ?
Are you fucking kidding me ?!

But it's also like, when life gives you
a white name,

you sneak out
and go to the fucking club.

And you're gonna be grinding with Riley

and I'm literally wet thinking about
you guys sharing a bed after.

I mean, no pressure or anything.

No. Just if you don't get pussy tonight
you deserve eternal shame.

You okay ?

Cuz at least you got a lover you can
bone if you wanted.

Wait. Are you into someone ?

- Always.
- Who ?

Just... this guy from Grindr.

Who's older and bad for me.

- How much older ?
- Thirty.

Like, statutory vibes, or whatever.

But it's just unfair cuz like, I'm
fine, you know ? I can handle my shit.

It makes no sense that it's rape now -
sorry - but in a year it's fine.

Whatever.
I'll meet a new man at the club tonight

and the pheromones will be off
the chain

and he'll be obsessed with me and I'll
forget about this.

- Ew, listen to me.
- I'm not judging.

You would be if I told you
the whole story.

- Now you have to tell me.
- No. I can't.

Anyway, I deleted the app.
Sorry, molesters.

Chester the molester.

Stop...
I dare you to keep calling me that.

Fuck me up.
Have you pet his hair before ?

- I have not.
- Try it, you'll cum.

No, thank you.

- Is September eighth a Virgo ?
- What sign are you for real ?

- Libra.
- Nice.

- Wait, do we have to know our signs ?
- Yes, we do !

My friends got asked this question, and
they did not know, they just froze.

And they were like, bye, we're gonna
call the cops and take your shit.

Fuck. Okay I'm Scott - something ?

- From somwhere...
- I'm Melanie Swanson.

You're gonna get us so narc'd.

Also you looke the youngest so if we
even get carded it's already on you.

Wait, isn't Delilah's also
Melanie Swanson ?

- Are you fucking kidding me ?
- Oh my God !

- I don't look the youngest !
- Baby no, with this skin ?

Be happy.

Is that that lady who whispers
in German and cuts up sand ?

I'm obsessed. Have you seen the ones
where they scoop the purple sand ?

What ? No, show me.

God I wish they'd stop soon.
I have to pee so bad !

Why is it so satisfying ?

I know, I legit thought I was the only
person who liked this stuff.

Besides like
the twenty million viewers.

Rude.

What the hell ?

Was that you guys ?
I was like what the hell ?

- You guys want some ?
- Yeah.

Oh my God, this fucking song !
Just bury me right now !

The skanks on the bussy go pound
pound pound,

pound pound pound

The skanks on the bussy go pound
pound pound,

all through the town

Chiquita, hey !
Want to try some fruit ?

Why do you hate delicious fruit ?
Did a strawberry kill your father ?

- There it is ! Sonrisa bonita.
- I hate it but thanks.

She's Mexican ! Here I was
thinking French or Cuban.

Cubana ?! Chicana to the core, fool.

A terrible mistake ! Forgive me !

- Where are you from ?
- Here. But my mom's from Guadalajara.

Me too ! I spent four years there
at the University.

Studying how to sell fruit.

Come back after you eat and I will give
you a special deal for tapatíos !

MAGA alert. I repeat, MAGA alert.
Shutting down all queer activity.

So this is the day I get murdered.

Of everyone here,
you're the one who's gonna say that ?

I hope you're right, though.
Go tell that guy you're bi.

Why don't you go tell him
you're a virgin ?

Can I help you with something ?

You guys photographers ?
Fashion bloggers ?

I can't think of any other appropriate
reason to take pictures of my kids.

Okay, here we go.

That's it.
Plenty of room.

I'm about to be a bad girl.

This is too good. I'm doin' it.
Don't tell Mrs. Culpepper.

Is she married ? Or is this
a third-person thing ?

Married.

But if you're bad I will tell on you.

Do not !

Oh please.
You would absolutely fuck your clone.

Not only that I feel like you would
film it and then jerk off to it later.

I would definitely fuck my clone.

At first I thought I would too,

but I think if my pussy tastes weird
I'd rather not know.

Would you rather have sex with your
boyfriend in your dad's body,

or with your dad in your boyfriend's
body ? I love the internet.

Oh God. Maybe dad in boyfriend's body ?

If it looks like my boyfriend I could
just tell myself it's him and like,

I don't know, just fuck him real quick.

But what if he moves like your father ?
What if he smells like your father ?

You came to that conclusion
way too easily.

- What about you ?
- It's different for me. Which dad ?

- Does it matter ?!
- Is there one dad you'd rather do ?

Bitch, would you rather bottom for
your dad or eat your mom's coochie ?!

- Stop, I'm gonna gag.
- Yeah, on your dad's dick.

We're not saying
freshmen aren't people.

When I was a freshman I was
so fucking naïve,

I'm surprised an upperclassman
didn't straight up murder me.

- They should have just ended my life.
- Same.

If I had advice for you,

it would probably be to respect your
elders basically. Like the juniors.

Just like, give them your place
in line, don't be in their way...

Or if you get nachos at nutrition
and a senior wants some...

- Just give them your nachos.
- Or buy them nachos.

- Which is not hazing, by the way.
- It's more a Circle of Life thing.

You're only sophomores, right ?

I don't get what you're saying.

Were you ever a stoner ?

- You know you can't ask me that.
- That's a yes.

- Fine. What can we ask you then ?
- If it's boring, you can ask it.

If it's boring...
Okay.

When did you know you wanted to be
a guidance counselor ?

- But for real. When did you ?
- For real for real ?

You think you can just waltz all up in
here like Little Miss Social Worker

and give us nothing ?
The nerve of you !

You been extracting vulnerable stories
from us like you Mariah with

the prosthetic nose
and we all Gabourey Sidibe

and this is all based on the novel
Push by Sapphire...

No reason to include that
in the title.

It's already a long title. Why did they
have to include that part too ?

- Chester, you crack me up.
- I'll be here all day.

She's back !

Have you finally forgiven
me, chiquita ?

Or are you hoping to hustle me
for a deal on stone fruit ?

I wanted to see if anyone wants water.
It's hot.

You don't need to get us water !

I also have pan dulce.

You aren't gonna eat this ?

- I'm Greta, by the way.
- Arturo. A pleasure.

What brings you
to my section of the highway ?

We're just doing a field trip.

Oh, qué fancy ! Field trip !

- You sound just like my mom.
- That's good, right ?

Do you want some pan dulce ?
Thank you !

...in Holland, monks brew the ale.

If that doesn't tell you about the U.S.
versus Europe, I don't know what does.

That's the way you do it !

stalkery, I know, but u looked too
beautiful not to send

miss ya at this end of the table

miss you too

This is porn.

Why can't these really be my ass ?

Can I get a close-up of you
with one of these shirts ?

Yes, yes !

"My son is so emu"

Ew, I look like I'm ten.

If I promise not to show it,
can I please keep it for me ?

- Sorry I was weird this morning.
- Oh, no, it's fine.

It's just - my mom, and like just
everything that's going on now.

I kinda get it.

Aren't they beautiful ?

Not only are these birds the world's
fastest animal on two legs,

they're the only birds that
have a bladder.

- Other birds don't have bladders ?
- They have cloacas.

- That's an all-purpose hole.
- Goals.

Grab your neck !

Strangle !

What are you doing ?

Let's feed this one.

She bring it to you every ball.
Why y'all gagging though ?

Oh bitch wut ?!

- She really did that.
- She did that though !

Ladies and gentlemen,
no horseplay.

Come on !
You just messed with the wrong dude.

- Guys !
- Alright ! That's enough !

Attention please, Tigers !
Claws up !

Shit ! Motherfucker !

- Is it bleeding ?
- Yes !

- Squeeze it !
- Shit ! Cocksucker !

I feel like this trip would've gone
so much faster

if you were sitting
with me the whole time.

Me too.

I hope they put us in the same room
tonight.

You know that feeling

when a song is like, not just speaking
to you, but like is you ?

Definitely.

Can I play something for you ?

Wait, who's that ?

No one.

You are good.

Didn't even realize until
two minutes ago

that you completely got out of
telling us why you became a counselor.

- Did I ?
- You did. Yes.

Gotta respect the skill.
But people demand answers.

Well, at the risk of disappointing
"the people"...

I never wanted to be a counselor.

- What did you want to be ?
- An architect.

Only I couldn't draw - at all.

And all my ideas were for things like
circular houses and domed garages.

- Underground cities.
- What's wrong with that ?

I forget. But a lot.

All that time I was taking sociology
and I was volunteering at a school,

and during that time I did not want
to bang my head against a wall, so...

here I am.

"Condragulations,
you're a winner baby."

Ibuprofen time.

You guys wanna play
Never Have I Ever ?

I think it's...

Can we do the rule where you have to
say "ding" when you put a finger down

so you can't be sneaky ?

- Fuck yeah.
- Ooh, that's hot when you say that.

- "Fuck yeah" ?
- Yeah.

Fuck yeah.

I'll go. Never have I ever said
"I love you" in a romantic context.

Wait, have I ever said it ?
I must've, right ?

Now it's Cooper's turn.

Never have I ever...

I don't know.
I can't think of one.

Just think like,
what have you never done ?

Never have I ever...
tried to suck my own dick ?

Checks out.

Do you always have to take it
to a bitchy place ?

Chill. I'm just saying you trying to
suck yourself off checks out.

What's on the horizon for you after
La Palma Cypress ?

Too many things.
Living in London maybe ?

Or Milan or Paris.

But I just kinda like feel London.

And I think I might study psychology.

- I could see that for you.
- Cuz of all the mind games I play ?

Because you're perceptive.

But I can't just give up being into
fashion so I don't know.

I might study art or literature
and be like that suburban gay.

But then there's the lazy dark part of
me that wants to just say fuck it all

and just be an influencer cuz I know
I could do it with both eyes closed.

So a literary artist... psychologist...
suburban gay influencer.

- In London.
- You about to tell me I can't ?

I was about to praise your vision.
My closeted self was so inside-the-box

I was designing the blueprints
for the box.

- You sad, sad Millennial.
- Put it on my tombstone.

Here's one.

Never have I ever gotten period stains
on my pants while rock climbing.

- Seriously ?
- Yeah. Anyone ? Anybody ?

Ding. I'll go next.

Never have I ever had a JoJo Siwa
sweatshirt two years ago

when I was fourteen.

- Are you gonna say ding ?
- Ding.

Never have I ever...

... showed my vagina
to the mailman when we were kids !

Never have I ever hooked up with
my sister's childhood best friend

cuz I think with my tiny dick
instead of my tiny brain !

Okay that's kinda mean.

Never have I ever crashed into
a garbage can cuz I can't fucking drive

and started sobbing in the car
literally this morning !

Never have I ever gotten cum
in my eye !

Wait, Nathan.
So was it yours or someone else's ?

...and by my forties, I'ma have
a full London townhouse and all that.

Butler, coat of arms.

- And how old are you now ? 17 ?
- Not for much longer. But yeah.

Just cuz of how kids want to pretend
they're older, get away with things.

Is everyone okay ?
Is anyone hurt ?

Can you all please check on each other?