Gakkô no kaidan (2000–2001): Season 1, Episode 16 - The Apartment That Eats People! Nest of Evil Spirits - full transcript
The gang decides to investigate a haunted apartment block after school.
(birds squawking)
- Have you men noticed
how huge my box looks
in these new uniforms?
- Well, that's nice to know.
Now, let's just remember to be careful
about the surrounding land.
- But how did just this
block of public housing
remain un-demolished?
Aren't there people living here?
- Hurricane Katrina evacuees.
They're never going to leave.
- What? What are you saying?
- No, I'm just messing with you, buddy.
The only residents who
live there are ghosts.
Place is haunted.
They tried to demolish
it, but strange accidents
always seem to keep
that building standing.
- You kinda sound like you've been
hanging around my daughter lately.
I'm not so much worried about ghosts
just how much your crew
drinks on the job. Sober up.
- [Worker] You're the boss.
- I can't believe people
would even believe in
something as stupid as-
(gasps)
- Look out, Ted!
- Hey, are you all right, man?
- I'm fine.
I know Jim Adler is your brother-in-law,
but why didn't you move? Huh?
- Did you see it? That girl.
- Huh? What are you talking about?
There's nothing there but poles,
and I don't mean people from Poland.
- But someone was there.
She was smiling at me.
- [Worker] Oh, stop it. Stop it!
- [Boss] See what I mean? Drinking.
(upbeat music)
(singing in foreign language)
(spooky music)
- Your dad's in the hospital again?
Have you never heard of Hazelden?
- Shut up.
(Keiichirou screams)
- Dear Lord, I'll pray for him.
- Dad finally got a job
working for the government
tearing down public housing
and putting up Starbucks franchises.
(Keiichirou screams)
- Dad!
(ambulance sirens blaring)
- He had an extreme high fever,
and we took him to the emergency room.
But he didn't have insurance yet,
so he had to go to county.
Well, then this intern tells us-
- [Intern] I just started here.
I can't read this chart,
but whatever it is,
they wrote a lot.
- Well, I got that loser fired,
and finally found
someone who could tell us
what the hell was going on with my dad.
Seems everyone who worked at that one site
came down with a mysterious
and deadly high fever.
- The haunted hood projects.
We psychical researchers know
about that building well.
It's killed many people in this city.
Your father is probably one of them.
I don't see him making it
through this episode alive.
- [Hajime] Oh, good job, Leo.
- [Leo] What? It's in the script.
- Oh no.
- Oh, he's probably just
got alcohol poisoning.
He'll be back home and
drunk again in no time.
- We have to try to save him.
- If we banish the spirits
of the haunted projects,
Illich- I mean your father,
may make it to the closing credits.
Yes! That's a great idea.
I think I'm getting a little stiffy.
- Thank you everyone!
- Just leave it to us.
- So that's where the minorities live.
- I'm going to get beat up, aren't I?
- Probably more like robbed and sodomized.
- What a dump.
- I feel sorry for poor people.
- It looks like the West Bank.
- What are we going to
do? We can't get in.
- "Keep out?" That
never stopped my people.
- So much for that.
- What? So much for what?
- Never let a sign stop you
from illegal activities.
We'll just hop the fence.
- Hey!
It's dangerous. You can't go in there.
Read it. Says so right here.
Keep away.
- Sorry. I can't.
- You have to let us inside, sir.
- Or my dad's gonna die.
- I've already lost a mother.
You know what my therapy bills are?
- Where is your right wing Christianity?
You have to help us.
- Well, if you could put it
that way. For Ron Holden.
But it's an old building,
and it's dangerous.
Crack addicts, whores, maybe
Todd Bridges on skates.
What do I say? You can't go in there.
Get lost. Keep away.
(Keiichirou cries)
- How are we going to
break this to Illich?
- Geez. What a jackass.
And did you see the way
he was looking at Satsuki?
It almost made me think
he was going to be cool.
- The righteous man is
rescued from trouble,
says Proverbs 11:8.
Looks like your alcoholic, unsaved father
is going to die. Sorry Satsuki.
- What are we going to do if
that guy doesn't let us in?
- Don't worry, Leo. I
have a foolproof plan.
We'll all meet back here
and bust in tonight.
- Tonight?
- Why are we doing this again?
- Oh, what's going to happen?
Oh, wait a minute. I forgot
what show we're doing.
- Yeah.
- What's the matter?
- Hey, wait a minute.
Shouldn't we be able to see
the haunted housing block from here?
- This is not good.
- [Hajime] Guess your dad is good as dead.
- [Momoko] Yes, that's what I said.
- Could we have gone the wrong way?
- Could you possibly be
any more of an idiot?
- These people are poor. No streetlamps.
- God rewards the righteous.
That's why me and my family are loaded.
- What the-
Damn she's got big feet.
- They at least dress nice here.
- Satsuki, look over there!
- [Hajime] She's hot.
- Oh no! She's going to kill herself!
- Well, she is poor.
- Yeah!
(intense music)
- Dammit Jim!
- Come on, we're going to
have to take the stairs.
- Now I know why poor
people bitch all the time.
- I'd hate to be having to
be carrying all those babies.
- If they have to take the
stairs like this every day,
why are they all so fat?
- I saw "Super Size Me,"
it's the French fries.
- We need to find someone
to call the police.
Although they're probably
used to getting calls
like that from this place.
- There! The one that paid their bill.
(tense music)
- Any day now, welfare Willie.
- Go away. What do you want?
- Look, Papa, someone's
going to kill herself.
- Hey, did you pay your phone bill?
- Yeah, but I'm stealing my cable.
- We need to stop one
of your poor neighbors
from killing herself. Help us please!
- So what?
Those who want to die should
be able to if they want to.
- [Hajime] But this chick's hot.
- If I were you, young fellow,
I'd spend less time worrying
about her and more about you.
(man cries)
- Perfect, he's gay.
- I did notice he looked
at me quite enticingly.
- Probably the Republican
mayor of Spokane.
- Come on, if I save her,
there's no way she wouldn't sleep with me.
- Stay here. Momoko, don't
let the closet mayor get him.
(dreamy music)
(Satsuki screams)
The poor lady jumped, and our eyes met!
She smiled and she looked right at me!
- Why do you always have to
be the center of attention?
- I'm the lead!
- Maybe she just bounced.
- She wasn't that fat.
- Looks like things are
picking up around here.
- What are you doing
here? Nobody invited you.
- It's dinner time and
you didn't feel my dish.
And I'm hungry.
I tried the cabinet, but
I'm as good with door knobs
as the aliens and signs.
But this, watching this
might be even tastier.
- What do you mean?
- Listen to me, Black Morris.
If you know what's going
on here, you better spill.
- You're not very bright, are you Haji?
You've been sucked in by this
good time looking housing project.
- [Momoko] We never found
the haunted housing projects.
- [Hajime] Yeah, this place
isn't haunted. It's just poor.
- Really? Then check out that place again.
- The light's out!
- I thought for sure he'd lock his door.
(spooky music)
- What is it?
- We know he doesn't have a maid.
I'm glad I'm saved and blessed.
Poor people are disgusting.
- [Hajime] I told you.
- These aren't your
normal apartments, kids.
These are the projects
of the haunted hood.
You feel me, bitches?
- Yeah I hear you, you stupid cat.
- That woman was just
a trap to lure you in.
- We gotta get outta here!
- Dyn-o-mite!
- What the hell is going on?
- This staircase never ends! WTF?
- Look, numbers.
We came from the 11th floor,
and this is making sense
to me. And I'm dyslexic.
- You're right, Keiichirou.
- I gotta take five.
- I'm so tired.
- Probably tired from
whining all the damn time.
- We can't use the elevator either?
Where our wings as Eagles?
- Keiichirou, will you
do it for a scooby snack?
- Can I share something with the class?
- [Satsuki] What?
- Don't you all feel just
a little bit different?
Less Jewish, perhaps?
- Just a little tired.
- Leo!
- Leo!
- Leo!
- Leo!
(ominous music)
- The situation has
brought him to his knees.
He's accepting Jesus!
- Hallelujah.
- Hey, get up, you stupid
jerk. Let's get outta here.
Come on!
- Leo?
- Not giving you mouth to mouth. Get up.
- Not in the spirit.
- He's a little stiff, and not Leo.
Oh my God, Leo's a mannequin!
(intense music)
(Keiichirou cries)
Everyone, stay still.
Change of plans.
(intense music)
(door creaks)
- Hey, that one looks like Kim Cattrall.
- Would you all like to accept Jesus now?
- Sure, sign me up!
- Hajime!
(Hajime screams)
- What the hell are you waiting for?
- Keiichirou!
(Keiichirou screaming)
I can't understand you.
- Dammit, always in the wrong.
- Hajime! Keiichirou!
- [Keiichirou] Satsuki! Satsuki!
- Hajime! Keiichirou!
Hajime? Keiichirou?
- Are you okay?
- What do I do?
My mother's gone, my father, Keiichirou.
We won't-
(Satsuki screams)
- Don't cry, Satsuki.
Maybe, before they were killed,
they had a moment to turn to Jesus.
- [Satsuki] Go to hell.
(Satsuki crying)
- You hear that?
- [Satsuki] What?
(footsteps)
Keiichirou, Hajime?
- Can you not even count?
That's only two feet.
I swear, I have to do
everything for you stupid kids.
- Could it be Leo?
(man groaning)
(man farts)
You can do it!
- I made it.
- You're saying you believe us?
- Afraid I do, kid.
- Do you believe this place
is haunted by the unsaved?
- I guess you're right.
But at first I thought they were
just bitter environmentalists.
- What?
- [Man] The energy of
the earth, earth veins.
Hey, put it this way. That
ortho (beep) really works.
- Have you never seen the
Home and Garden Network?
- You think I can afford cable?
I didn't know what I was
doing. I was new on the job.
You kids need to get outta here quick.
- You did this? Well
then where is everybody?
Where's my little retarded brother?
- He's here, trapped with
the other poor bastards.
I'll take care of it.
- Against my better
judgment I'll go with you!
- No, you save yourself!
And I'm kind of lonely.
You shouldn't get too close.
- Okay.
- You can change your mind if you want to.
- Just a moment, please.
If you know the ghost's
name, wouldn't you please
be kind enough to tell us what it is?
- Soma.
- Well, thanks.
Satsuki, what are you
waiting for? Get the diary.
- Right.
August 10, Soma appeared
at Bridgit's house.
Apparently this is a rare Feng Shui ghost.
And the earth has varicose
veins, like Bridgit. Gross!
In order to make Soma
go to spiritual sleep,
you need to make a doll
into a spirit receptacle,
and then chant a spell in the middle
of the earth's varicose vein.
But unless you patch up the disturbance,
a new Soma will take its place.
You're kidding me.
That means this is just a temporary fix?
- Sorry, but your mother was just a bitch.
- Come on, you dumb cat.
- Why do I have to go with you?
What are you looking at me
for? You didn't even feed me.
Why should I do you a favor?
This little black pussy
staying right here.
- Bye!
- Yeah, screw the cat.
- Good luck, chump.
- Let's look for a doll to
use as a spirit receptacle.
- Right. But they're poor.
Look for a flour sack, or
something with a diaper on it.
- Let's play. Let's play.
Hey. Hey, you there.
(Momoko screams)
(ominous music)
- Found one! It's ugly, but I found it.
Where'd you go? Hello?
Hey, Momoko!
Momoko!
Oh no. She's dead.
(elevator rumbling)
Great. Now you decide to work.
10th floor, hot elementary
girl named Satsuki.
Keanu?
Looks like it's you and me, Raggedy Ann.
- Call me Barbie!
- Okay, fine.
- Looks like it's you and me, Barbie.
I'm going fucking crazy.
Ow!
If I had a better bra and some ammo,
I'd pull a bitchin'
Sigourney Weaver right now.
Is it fall?
Where's the damn elevator?
Where are you going?
From the goodies. Get in
crunch, or munch. Chunk!
Hey, I laugh at your jokes!
Where the hell are you going?
Come on, Ann, we gotta save those idiots.
You guys-
(Satsuki screams)
(intense music)
Hey, Annie, come back!
Bitch, don't pull my hair!
Ow!
Well it's about time!
- Hurry up kid, you can still make it!
You need to get to the root
of this problem, and fast.
- Where's my doll?
Annie! Oh, that's gotta hurt.
- Satsuki, look out!
- Watch it.
- Warned you before.
But we'll pick this up later.
Do you know how to put this
thing to spiritual sleep?
- Yeah, I'm not here for the
gardening lessons, you dope.
- Good, you stand in the face
of danger. Chant a spell.
- What are you going to do?
- I'm going to watch your ass.
It's none of your business
what I'm going to do!
Now move it, sweet cheeks.
- Bossy. Okay.
- I hate to interrupt your
little May-December romance,
but will you please move your ass? Go!
- Double, double, soil and trouble.
Leave me alone, you crappy devil!
(intense music)
I am power!
(spirits scream)
- I can't see. How am I doing?
- Look up there.
- Up where?
- Where are you going?
- I think we both know where I'm going.
- You're going to be
the spirit receptacle?
- Well this was all my fault.
So I guess I better pay for it.
And I'm lonely, horny, and
don't make a lot of money.
What do I have to live for anyway?
Be glad you're young.
(emotional music)
- That is so nice of you.
Thanks! Mean it!
- I hate this neighborhood.
- Shut up, you racist.
- Oh, guys!
- Someone please give me my diabetes shot.
- Thanks for the help, fluffy.
- Temporary lapse in judgment, honey.
- This reminds me of Heather's.
Remember when Christian
Slater had a career?
- We're ready to blow, sir.
- All right, everyone withdraw.
- Sir, yes sir!
- My voice isn't usually this bassy,
but it makes the men respect me more.
- Well, yes there is that.
And that you threatened
to urinate on them.
(explosion)
- Now the black, poor
people will move to my hood.
(emotional music)
(singing in foreign language)
- Have you men noticed
how huge my box looks
in these new uniforms?
- Well, that's nice to know.
Now, let's just remember to be careful
about the surrounding land.
- But how did just this
block of public housing
remain un-demolished?
Aren't there people living here?
- Hurricane Katrina evacuees.
They're never going to leave.
- What? What are you saying?
- No, I'm just messing with you, buddy.
The only residents who
live there are ghosts.
Place is haunted.
They tried to demolish
it, but strange accidents
always seem to keep
that building standing.
- You kinda sound like you've been
hanging around my daughter lately.
I'm not so much worried about ghosts
just how much your crew
drinks on the job. Sober up.
- [Worker] You're the boss.
- I can't believe people
would even believe in
something as stupid as-
(gasps)
- Look out, Ted!
- Hey, are you all right, man?
- I'm fine.
I know Jim Adler is your brother-in-law,
but why didn't you move? Huh?
- Did you see it? That girl.
- Huh? What are you talking about?
There's nothing there but poles,
and I don't mean people from Poland.
- But someone was there.
She was smiling at me.
- [Worker] Oh, stop it. Stop it!
- [Boss] See what I mean? Drinking.
(upbeat music)
(singing in foreign language)
(spooky music)
- Your dad's in the hospital again?
Have you never heard of Hazelden?
- Shut up.
(Keiichirou screams)
- Dear Lord, I'll pray for him.
- Dad finally got a job
working for the government
tearing down public housing
and putting up Starbucks franchises.
(Keiichirou screams)
- Dad!
(ambulance sirens blaring)
- He had an extreme high fever,
and we took him to the emergency room.
But he didn't have insurance yet,
so he had to go to county.
Well, then this intern tells us-
- [Intern] I just started here.
I can't read this chart,
but whatever it is,
they wrote a lot.
- Well, I got that loser fired,
and finally found
someone who could tell us
what the hell was going on with my dad.
Seems everyone who worked at that one site
came down with a mysterious
and deadly high fever.
- The haunted hood projects.
We psychical researchers know
about that building well.
It's killed many people in this city.
Your father is probably one of them.
I don't see him making it
through this episode alive.
- [Hajime] Oh, good job, Leo.
- [Leo] What? It's in the script.
- Oh no.
- Oh, he's probably just
got alcohol poisoning.
He'll be back home and
drunk again in no time.
- We have to try to save him.
- If we banish the spirits
of the haunted projects,
Illich- I mean your father,
may make it to the closing credits.
Yes! That's a great idea.
I think I'm getting a little stiffy.
- Thank you everyone!
- Just leave it to us.
- So that's where the minorities live.
- I'm going to get beat up, aren't I?
- Probably more like robbed and sodomized.
- What a dump.
- I feel sorry for poor people.
- It looks like the West Bank.
- What are we going to
do? We can't get in.
- "Keep out?" That
never stopped my people.
- So much for that.
- What? So much for what?
- Never let a sign stop you
from illegal activities.
We'll just hop the fence.
- Hey!
It's dangerous. You can't go in there.
Read it. Says so right here.
Keep away.
- Sorry. I can't.
- You have to let us inside, sir.
- Or my dad's gonna die.
- I've already lost a mother.
You know what my therapy bills are?
- Where is your right wing Christianity?
You have to help us.
- Well, if you could put it
that way. For Ron Holden.
But it's an old building,
and it's dangerous.
Crack addicts, whores, maybe
Todd Bridges on skates.
What do I say? You can't go in there.
Get lost. Keep away.
(Keiichirou cries)
- How are we going to
break this to Illich?
- Geez. What a jackass.
And did you see the way
he was looking at Satsuki?
It almost made me think
he was going to be cool.
- The righteous man is
rescued from trouble,
says Proverbs 11:8.
Looks like your alcoholic, unsaved father
is going to die. Sorry Satsuki.
- What are we going to do if
that guy doesn't let us in?
- Don't worry, Leo. I
have a foolproof plan.
We'll all meet back here
and bust in tonight.
- Tonight?
- Why are we doing this again?
- Oh, what's going to happen?
Oh, wait a minute. I forgot
what show we're doing.
- Yeah.
- What's the matter?
- Hey, wait a minute.
Shouldn't we be able to see
the haunted housing block from here?
- This is not good.
- [Hajime] Guess your dad is good as dead.
- [Momoko] Yes, that's what I said.
- Could we have gone the wrong way?
- Could you possibly be
any more of an idiot?
- These people are poor. No streetlamps.
- God rewards the righteous.
That's why me and my family are loaded.
- What the-
Damn she's got big feet.
- They at least dress nice here.
- Satsuki, look over there!
- [Hajime] She's hot.
- Oh no! She's going to kill herself!
- Well, she is poor.
- Yeah!
(intense music)
- Dammit Jim!
- Come on, we're going to
have to take the stairs.
- Now I know why poor
people bitch all the time.
- I'd hate to be having to
be carrying all those babies.
- If they have to take the
stairs like this every day,
why are they all so fat?
- I saw "Super Size Me,"
it's the French fries.
- We need to find someone
to call the police.
Although they're probably
used to getting calls
like that from this place.
- There! The one that paid their bill.
(tense music)
- Any day now, welfare Willie.
- Go away. What do you want?
- Look, Papa, someone's
going to kill herself.
- Hey, did you pay your phone bill?
- Yeah, but I'm stealing my cable.
- We need to stop one
of your poor neighbors
from killing herself. Help us please!
- So what?
Those who want to die should
be able to if they want to.
- [Hajime] But this chick's hot.
- If I were you, young fellow,
I'd spend less time worrying
about her and more about you.
(man cries)
- Perfect, he's gay.
- I did notice he looked
at me quite enticingly.
- Probably the Republican
mayor of Spokane.
- Come on, if I save her,
there's no way she wouldn't sleep with me.
- Stay here. Momoko, don't
let the closet mayor get him.
(dreamy music)
(Satsuki screams)
The poor lady jumped, and our eyes met!
She smiled and she looked right at me!
- Why do you always have to
be the center of attention?
- I'm the lead!
- Maybe she just bounced.
- She wasn't that fat.
- Looks like things are
picking up around here.
- What are you doing
here? Nobody invited you.
- It's dinner time and
you didn't feel my dish.
And I'm hungry.
I tried the cabinet, but
I'm as good with door knobs
as the aliens and signs.
But this, watching this
might be even tastier.
- What do you mean?
- Listen to me, Black Morris.
If you know what's going
on here, you better spill.
- You're not very bright, are you Haji?
You've been sucked in by this
good time looking housing project.
- [Momoko] We never found
the haunted housing projects.
- [Hajime] Yeah, this place
isn't haunted. It's just poor.
- Really? Then check out that place again.
- The light's out!
- I thought for sure he'd lock his door.
(spooky music)
- What is it?
- We know he doesn't have a maid.
I'm glad I'm saved and blessed.
Poor people are disgusting.
- [Hajime] I told you.
- These aren't your
normal apartments, kids.
These are the projects
of the haunted hood.
You feel me, bitches?
- Yeah I hear you, you stupid cat.
- That woman was just
a trap to lure you in.
- We gotta get outta here!
- Dyn-o-mite!
- What the hell is going on?
- This staircase never ends! WTF?
- Look, numbers.
We came from the 11th floor,
and this is making sense
to me. And I'm dyslexic.
- You're right, Keiichirou.
- I gotta take five.
- I'm so tired.
- Probably tired from
whining all the damn time.
- We can't use the elevator either?
Where our wings as Eagles?
- Keiichirou, will you
do it for a scooby snack?
- Can I share something with the class?
- [Satsuki] What?
- Don't you all feel just
a little bit different?
Less Jewish, perhaps?
- Just a little tired.
- Leo!
- Leo!
- Leo!
- Leo!
(ominous music)
- The situation has
brought him to his knees.
He's accepting Jesus!
- Hallelujah.
- Hey, get up, you stupid
jerk. Let's get outta here.
Come on!
- Leo?
- Not giving you mouth to mouth. Get up.
- Not in the spirit.
- He's a little stiff, and not Leo.
Oh my God, Leo's a mannequin!
(intense music)
(Keiichirou cries)
Everyone, stay still.
Change of plans.
(intense music)
(door creaks)
- Hey, that one looks like Kim Cattrall.
- Would you all like to accept Jesus now?
- Sure, sign me up!
- Hajime!
(Hajime screams)
- What the hell are you waiting for?
- Keiichirou!
(Keiichirou screaming)
I can't understand you.
- Dammit, always in the wrong.
- Hajime! Keiichirou!
- [Keiichirou] Satsuki! Satsuki!
- Hajime! Keiichirou!
Hajime? Keiichirou?
- Are you okay?
- What do I do?
My mother's gone, my father, Keiichirou.
We won't-
(Satsuki screams)
- Don't cry, Satsuki.
Maybe, before they were killed,
they had a moment to turn to Jesus.
- [Satsuki] Go to hell.
(Satsuki crying)
- You hear that?
- [Satsuki] What?
(footsteps)
Keiichirou, Hajime?
- Can you not even count?
That's only two feet.
I swear, I have to do
everything for you stupid kids.
- Could it be Leo?
(man groaning)
(man farts)
You can do it!
- I made it.
- You're saying you believe us?
- Afraid I do, kid.
- Do you believe this place
is haunted by the unsaved?
- I guess you're right.
But at first I thought they were
just bitter environmentalists.
- What?
- [Man] The energy of
the earth, earth veins.
Hey, put it this way. That
ortho (beep) really works.
- Have you never seen the
Home and Garden Network?
- You think I can afford cable?
I didn't know what I was
doing. I was new on the job.
You kids need to get outta here quick.
- You did this? Well
then where is everybody?
Where's my little retarded brother?
- He's here, trapped with
the other poor bastards.
I'll take care of it.
- Against my better
judgment I'll go with you!
- No, you save yourself!
And I'm kind of lonely.
You shouldn't get too close.
- Okay.
- You can change your mind if you want to.
- Just a moment, please.
If you know the ghost's
name, wouldn't you please
be kind enough to tell us what it is?
- Soma.
- Well, thanks.
Satsuki, what are you
waiting for? Get the diary.
- Right.
August 10, Soma appeared
at Bridgit's house.
Apparently this is a rare Feng Shui ghost.
And the earth has varicose
veins, like Bridgit. Gross!
In order to make Soma
go to spiritual sleep,
you need to make a doll
into a spirit receptacle,
and then chant a spell in the middle
of the earth's varicose vein.
But unless you patch up the disturbance,
a new Soma will take its place.
You're kidding me.
That means this is just a temporary fix?
- Sorry, but your mother was just a bitch.
- Come on, you dumb cat.
- Why do I have to go with you?
What are you looking at me
for? You didn't even feed me.
Why should I do you a favor?
This little black pussy
staying right here.
- Bye!
- Yeah, screw the cat.
- Good luck, chump.
- Let's look for a doll to
use as a spirit receptacle.
- Right. But they're poor.
Look for a flour sack, or
something with a diaper on it.
- Let's play. Let's play.
Hey. Hey, you there.
(Momoko screams)
(ominous music)
- Found one! It's ugly, but I found it.
Where'd you go? Hello?
Hey, Momoko!
Momoko!
Oh no. She's dead.
(elevator rumbling)
Great. Now you decide to work.
10th floor, hot elementary
girl named Satsuki.
Keanu?
Looks like it's you and me, Raggedy Ann.
- Call me Barbie!
- Okay, fine.
- Looks like it's you and me, Barbie.
I'm going fucking crazy.
Ow!
If I had a better bra and some ammo,
I'd pull a bitchin'
Sigourney Weaver right now.
Is it fall?
Where's the damn elevator?
Where are you going?
From the goodies. Get in
crunch, or munch. Chunk!
Hey, I laugh at your jokes!
Where the hell are you going?
Come on, Ann, we gotta save those idiots.
You guys-
(Satsuki screams)
(intense music)
Hey, Annie, come back!
Bitch, don't pull my hair!
Ow!
Well it's about time!
- Hurry up kid, you can still make it!
You need to get to the root
of this problem, and fast.
- Where's my doll?
Annie! Oh, that's gotta hurt.
- Satsuki, look out!
- Watch it.
- Warned you before.
But we'll pick this up later.
Do you know how to put this
thing to spiritual sleep?
- Yeah, I'm not here for the
gardening lessons, you dope.
- Good, you stand in the face
of danger. Chant a spell.
- What are you going to do?
- I'm going to watch your ass.
It's none of your business
what I'm going to do!
Now move it, sweet cheeks.
- Bossy. Okay.
- I hate to interrupt your
little May-December romance,
but will you please move your ass? Go!
- Double, double, soil and trouble.
Leave me alone, you crappy devil!
(intense music)
I am power!
(spirits scream)
- I can't see. How am I doing?
- Look up there.
- Up where?
- Where are you going?
- I think we both know where I'm going.
- You're going to be
the spirit receptacle?
- Well this was all my fault.
So I guess I better pay for it.
And I'm lonely, horny, and
don't make a lot of money.
What do I have to live for anyway?
Be glad you're young.
(emotional music)
- That is so nice of you.
Thanks! Mean it!
- I hate this neighborhood.
- Shut up, you racist.
- Oh, guys!
- Someone please give me my diabetes shot.
- Thanks for the help, fluffy.
- Temporary lapse in judgment, honey.
- This reminds me of Heather's.
Remember when Christian
Slater had a career?
- We're ready to blow, sir.
- All right, everyone withdraw.
- Sir, yes sir!
- My voice isn't usually this bassy,
but it makes the men respect me more.
- Well, yes there is that.
And that you threatened
to urinate on them.
(explosion)
- Now the black, poor
people will move to my hood.
(emotional music)
(singing in foreign language)