Gakkô no kaidan (2000–2001): Season 1, Episode 14 - The Life-Taking Psychic Photo - Railway Crossing of Evil - full transcript

(rain pouring)

(yawning)

- Guess it's about time to head back.

(rain pouring)

(suspenseful music)

(screaming)

(tires screeching)

Oh man, is Geico gonna screw me now.

(seat belt clicks)

(door slams)

Huh?



That's weird.

No dent.

Maybe I hit Kate Moss.

(signal blaring)

(door slams)

(siren blaring)

(suspenseful music)

(screaming)

(train whooshing)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)



(suspenseful music)

(train rattling)

- What?

The ghost of a woman, what?

- Do, do I stutter?

Yes, I heard a cab driver
saw a pale faced ghost

at this railroad crossing.

Why the supernatural evidence
is directly in front of us.

Look, right there, even now.

A stain in the shape of a person.

(shouting)

- Oh good Lord, it's just a puddle.

You're even getting on my nerves.

- Geez, you know what a baby he is.

- Shut up!

I know what I'm talking about

and I'm going to prove it to you.

Oh, you'll see.

According to my investigation,

many reliable witnesses have testified

that they saw a ghost on this spot.

There are a lot of accidents here

and the residents in the area call this-

- You interrupted Girls Gone
Wild Backwoods of Kentucky

for this?

- Hey, is that the limited incest edition?

- If you're going to do
your physical research,

do it by yourself.

- Listen, this is our civic duty.

We have to stop it.

Are you telling me you don't care

if the people crossing here

are in danger of losing their lives?

When a ghost shows up,

we always rush there
and dispel the spirit.

If you won't help,

I'm going to kick you out of
the Psychical Research Club.

- Oh, damn anime.

Look what's happened to my eyes.

- Not to mention, ghosts don't
come out in the afternoon,

do they? (chuckles)

I said, come out.

- Oh, you don't need to
worry about waiting for them.

Ta da!

Here, here, here, here.

- What the hell are these?

- These specially designed cameras

capture images that the
human eye can't see.

You guys just keep shooting
everywhere and everything

and we're bound to snap a ghost.

All right everybody, aim and fire!

(camera clicking)

- You know, I got a
better use for my camera.

- [Leo] Shut up.

- I got one word for you, photo shop.

- [Leo] You shut up too.

(camera clicks)

- Poor little thing.

- [Leo] You shut, what?

- The spirits here should
be in Heaven right now

and I'm sorry,

it'd piss me off of kids were
bothering my spiritual rest.

I think we should just
leave them alone, okay?

- Okay.

Just my luck, the Greta Garbo ghost.

I want to be alone.

(laughter)

Oh!

(suspenseful music)

How'd she get her hand like that?

That's not easy to do.

Wait a minute, that's not her hand!

(suspenseful music)

(birds chirping)

(speaking foreign language)

Wait a minute, that's the Japanese.

There is a ghost at the railroad.

I knew it.

Wait till I show Hajime,

he's going to crap his pants.

(laughter)

- And then my mom walks in.

- Hajime!

- What?

- Hey, check this,
- [Satsuki] You guys listen!

(shouting)

- Why don't you watch where you're going?

- Sorry.

Get up.

We gotta go see Momoko.

- [Hajime] What?

Momoko collapsed or did you say relapsed?

- What?

- Well, apparently she got
sick all of a sudden last night

and was taken to the hospital.

- Why, why?

- I don't know,

even the doctors don't seem
to understand what's going on.

Thorough examination,
that's what she's getting.

- You know, I could give
her a thorough examination.

- No you can't.

I'm going to the hospital
and I'll check on her later.

- I'll go too.

Leo, I'll need my rubber gloves back.

- You don't want them back,
but that's a long story,

but that's beside the point.

Momoko might be cursed from
the photo I took, look.

(shouting)

- Oh, I'm fine, really,

just a little tightness in my chest.

I think I need a bigger bra.

Satsuki, do you have any?

Oh, what am I saying?

- [Leo] It could be
supernatural paralysis.

- Huh?

- Hey!

- What, what are you not telling me?

- Well, Leo,

Leo thinks the reason
you collapsed is that,

are you gonna tell her or not?

Well, they say a picture's
worth a thousand words, so.

Hey, your hair looks really good though.

I'm sure no one will
notice your third hand.

- This isn't going to
show up on the internet

or anything, is it?

- No, only the ones of
Satsuki in the locker room.

Praise God.

Well, if you think that's weird

wait 'til you see this.

Seriously, this ought to
get a rise out of you.

(Leo screams)

- Excellent.

- Hey, what meds are you on?

- Don't panic, but you have to see this.

(Leo screams)

- Leo, you fag.

Two words, right breast left breast.

- Cover those puppies up,

I'll ask the nurse for
some Creme De La Mer.

(door clicks)

(dramatic musical score)

(suspenseful music)

- It's the ghost of a woman.

For the life of me,

I can't figure out why
I attract these types.

I mean, is it me, something I'm doing?

She came to my bed last
night, just staring at me.

I can't tell my parents.

I wasn't going to tell the doctor.

Hey, wait a minute.

Why did you guys bring me any candy?

Or flowers, are you even my friends?

Get out.

(Leo panting)

(ominous music)

(dramatic musical score)

(Leo yelps)

(train whooshes)

(Leo screams)

(tires screech)

- Watch out, stupid Jew.

(bell rings)

- Stupid gentile.

- [Amanojaku] I'm betting
it's a zip code spirit.

- 90210?

- A human soul that
couldn't rest in peace.

So they stay in the place
where they bit the big one,

causing all kinds of trouble.

You know, as in zip code.

- Are you sure?

I think the skin cream's going to help.

It's expensive.

You're telling me it's
not a rash, it's a ghost?

- [Amanojaku] God, you are so smart.

- But that's not right.

She, Momoko hasn't done anything wrong.

- And you're retarded.

Life isn't fair, is it?

Zipcode spirits have a huge case

of sour grapes over how they died.

And they just love to share
their misery with the living.

If you bother them, they'll
curse you just for spite.

Poor little Cathy Christian.

(match strikes)

(ominous music)

- Hang in there, Sister Christian.

(sings softly)

Focus, Leo.

(sings) God that song is addictive.

Come on, Leo, you just have to save her.

Be gone imprinted shadow!

Yeah.

(ominous music)

- [Momoko] Whoa!

- I command you, imprinted shadow,

be gone in the name
Kentax and Podak, be gone!

(table rattles)

Wow, I always knew photographic companies

were named after semi-satanic deities.

Good, let's see.

In the name of Nanon,
in the name of Likon,

and Jupee and Fossilhad,

and that cheap one from
Falgreens my mom buys me.

And, I don't know, Etch a Sketch.

(Momoko gasps)

Be gone in the name of crayons,

and number two pencils,

and Hell, number one pencils.

(ominous music)

- Jesus, help!

Lord, please!

(glass breaks)

(Leo screams)

(fire roars)

(Leo screams)

(glass shatters)

(wind blows)

(door clicks)

- God, dammit, Leo.

What the hell are you doing?

- Is she grabbing her boobies?

(dramatic musical beat)

What is it about that girl and lesbians?

Wait a minute.

Gasp, oh, no, Momoko.

- Leo, Leo, Leo, God dammit,
God dammit, God dammit.

(Leo pants)

(dramatic music)

(muffled speech)

- [Nurse] What?

(muffled speech)

- [Nurse] I can't understand you.

(muffled speech)

- [Nurse] This girl's going to die.

- Momoko, darling.

- Ow!

- Darling.

- Darling, sorry, the meeting ran late.

- You never sleep with me, either.

That goddamn company!

(muffled speech)

- Oh, what?

(muffled speech)

- My poor little darling.

- I'm leaving you Harold.

(rapid footsteps clatter)

- [Leo] Momoko!

- Wait, are you a very
close friend of hers?

- Yes, I am, what's
happened to my chicken?

(bed rattles)

- Oh, you precious little lamb.

She's a goner.

- She is?

- [Momoko's Father] Darling, darling.

(dramatic musical beats)

- Samara?

(wind whistles)

(Leo whimpers)

(footsteps clack)

- Dumbass!

(Leo screams)

You think "I did the spell wrong,"

is going to work on me?

I'm a sexually frustrated fourth grader

and you've ruined my boob
flash chances once already.

If Momoko dies, I'll kill you.

- [Keiichirou] Leave him alone!

- Stop it, Leo's only trying to help.

He's failing miserably, of course.

But he's trying to help.

- Sorry, Leo.

- [Amanojaku] Don't beat yourselves up.

That's my job.

(Leo gasps)

- I hate you!

- You kids did what you could.

The zip code spirit's curse is too strong.

- No, no, this is all my fault.

I was trying to take pictures of a ghost

and she's way too camera shy.

- [Satsuki] Suck it up.

- Amanojaku, you're a great spirit

who knows about things.

Please tell me what to do.

I'm begging you.

- Oh my heavens, I'm
like the wailing wall.

Get up, I can't stand to
see the Jews suffer anymore.

This curse isn't your fault.

This zip code spirit has a
serious grudge against somebody.

- You mean like in the movie?

- Exactly, is Ms. Freddie Prinze Jr.

the worst actress or what?

But if you really want to
help out the zip code chick

you just need to ask her
what needs to be done

to soothe her feelings.

- How about cash?

(bird warbles)

Eggs, juice box, and
three kinds of flowers,

and none of it on sale.

If Momoko lives, she's
going to pay me back,

with interest.

Don't look at me like that.

Remember, I bought all those
disposable cameras, too.

- Leo, might want to take a look at this.

- What?

(bowl rings)

- [Leo] Order up.

I'm just kidding.

- My daughter's dead and
you're making food jokes?

Many people have said they've
seen her there, you know?

- [Satsuki] She's busy.

- Very, it's been three years now.

Shizuko was a tragic hit and run victim

near that very railroad crossing.

She was engaged to be married.

I don't know why she was trolling

around the railroad tracks.

Shizuko was quite a little tramp.

Not my fault, I tried to raise her right.

I, guess once a slut,
always a slut. (sobs)

We never found her engagement ring.

- Was it expensive?

- I don't think so, he got it at Jared's.

It never really fit right.

Her fiance was engaged once, before.

Probably, probably to some
ugly fat girl, you know?

Wynonna Judd or Carnie
Wilson, maybe Nell Carter.

Where's the justice?

Here this loser finally finds

an attractive, thin girl to marry

and she has to die.

She never got to do the
things she wanted to do.

Cure cancer, win the Nobel peace prize,

have a four way with Jude Law,
Clive Owen, and Denny Glover.

- [Satsuki] Why didn't you
tell her about the photo?

We were there for hours listening

to that woman go on,
and on, dead daughter.

- [Leo] what am I supposed to say?

Your daughter's being a little bitch

and is trying to kill our friend?

I don't want her comin' after me.

- [Satsuki] Yeah, I
guess you can't say that.

- [Hajime] Sure he can.

- That does it, I'll find the ring.

- [Together] Huh?

- [Satsuki] Leo!

- [Hajime] Don't you
think about pawning it

if you find it!

- [Satsuki] Leo!

(ominous music)

(dramatic music score)

(grass rustles)

- Leo, just give it up.

- It's been three years
since the accident.

I'm sure some other Jews found it

and melted it down by now.

- You know, you're pissing me off.

You'd do the same thing
and you're not Jewish.

- [Satsuki] He's right, you would.

- I have to find that ring
to save Momoko's life.

You could get down here
and help me, you know?

- I think you want it for yourself.

- Where do you think you're going?

- Are you going home?

- Good God his people
wanted the desert for years.

I'm going home to get him my flashlight

if that's okay with you.

- Excellent.

- Oh!

(dramatic musical score)

Hey heads up.

- Huh?

(high pitched whistle)

What the hell are you doing?

- [Leo] Look at her pupils!

- [Hajime] K-hole!

- No way, but Momoko
doesn't even own a cat.

Hold it.

(paper rustles)

(Leo gasps)

It's the Ring, I mean the Grudge,

what movie are we ripping off again?

- [Hajime] Grudge.
- [Satsuki And Keii] Ring.

(train signal chimes)

(suspenseful music)

- Amtrak.

- She'll get run over.

- [Satsuki] Move, dammit!

- Samara, I mean Shizuko,

I'm sorry you never got married,

but that's no reason for this.

- Get out of the way, stupid.

- Light as a feather, stiff as a board.

- God, how much weight did
you gain in that hospital?

(Hajime grunts)

(Satsuki yelps)

- Man down.

(suspenseful music)

- Momoko, stop!

(train rumbles)

My god, isn't that hurting your feet?

I'm sorry I took your picture,

and while were at it, I apologize
for Jennifer Aniston, too.

(Leo grunts)

And while I'm apologizing for things,

let me say I'm sorry for
this erection I have.

I know it's weird,

but it tends to happen a lot when I jog.

I'd be a natural for track,

but I experience terrible wind shear.

The baton relay's entirely
out of the question.

(train whistles)

- Keiichirou has to pee!

- Hello!

- Oh my god, does this
make me a necrophiliac?

Or am I a coma-philiac?

I mean, is there such a thing?

There hasn't been a talk show about this.

Oh, what do I know?

(suspenseful music)

(tires screech)

(wind blows)

- You all right?

Hey?

(heart beat thumps)

(man whistles)

(man gasps and screams)

(thunder crashes)

Not another one.

(ring clangs)

(man whistles)

(Momoko screams)

(train rumbles)

- [Satsuki] Momoko, you're all right!

(Leo sobs)

- Yeah.

- [Keiichirou] Nice to have you back.

You really want fast.

I don't have to pee anymore.

- Leo, shut up.

- Quit crying, big pussy.

- I'm confused!

- Thank you, thanks Leo.

You see everything's clear now.

- [Satsuki] Say what?

- I saw the ring.

I know where it is now.

(dramatic music)

- [Satsuki] You're telling me

we're going to find the
ring in a place like this?

- [Momoko] Yes, Shizuko told me.

In that taxi.

- Right.

- [Satsuki] It's gonna be locked.

(lock clicks)

- [Hajime] What's there
to steal, spare turban?

Told you so.

- [Momoko] Hajime, I want you to look

under the seat and see if you can find it.

- [Hajime] Yes, missus.

(cloth rustles)

- Well?

- Hello.

- That's it.

I know this is Shizuko's lost ring.

- But hey, Shizuko was
a hit and run victim,

wasn't she?

Why was her lost ring in
the bottom of a smelly cab?

- You're not that bright, are you?

Okay, the hit and run
driver tried to put Shizuko

into the car to take her to the hospital.

But when he saw that he killed her,

he didn't repent on his knees to the Lord,

probably due to his half
Pakistani bloodline,

those poor judged to hellbound heathens.

Her ring then fell into the cab.

- So then the Pakistani half-breed cabby

is Shizuko's murderer.

- Hey, I'm not Pakistani.

(all gasp)

What the hell do you think
your kids are doing here?

- Turban hunting?

(all scream)

- [Driver] Why don't we
get a lock on this lot?

For crying out loud, brats these days.

(lock clicks)

(rain pours)

(ominous music)

(tires screech)

- God!

(signal chimes)

Stupid trains.

- [Ghost] I found it.

(man yelps)

- My ring.

See?

(man screams)

(train rumbles)

(eerie music)

(singing in foreign language)

♪ I miss you, I miss you ♪

♪ I need you, I need you ♪

♪ Sexy, sexy ♪

(eerie music)

(singing in foreign language)

♪ Come back, come back, come back ♪

(singing in foreign language)

♪ Sexy, sexy ♪

(eerie music)

- What do you think you're doing?

Give my bitchy, witchy girlfriends back!

- You're the ones who said
you wanted to use the spell

that makes wishes come true.

Now it's your turn to honor
the contract of blood!

Moo ha ha ha ha, ha.