GLOW (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - Desert Pollen - full transcript
Fed up with the ladies' sloppy performances and lack of training, Cherry takes them to a showgirl dance class, which stokes Debbie's insecurities.
Arch your back, snatch faster.
Stay strong. There you go.
Squeeze.
Squeeze.
All right, up.
- Good.
- This is just my warm-up.
Where is everyone?
They're supposed to be here
at 8:00 sharp.
I don't think most of 'em got in
until 7:00 at least.
They need to start getting serious
about staying in shape.
This show's been sloppy as shit.
Hey, don't get angry at me.
At least I showed up.
- You're right. All right, keep it up.
- Okay, next circuit.
And... go.
Wow!
You got them in the palm of your hand.
- You the trainer?
- Excuse me, do we know each other?
No, sorry. I'm Cherry Bang.
- Denise.
- I work with GLOW.
Oh, God.
- Oh!
- We're in the Jade Showroom.
Oh!
It's 13 other girls.
Denise says they do strength training
in the morning,
dance class in the afternoon
and have a fucking nutritionist.
Meanwhile, I just saw Jenny
in the kitchen spreading mayonnaise
on a block of cheddar cheese.
- That actually sounds good.
- Keith.
You gonna put that in your mouth,
or is it supposed to go somewhere else?
There you go.
These bitches, they don't stretch.
- They don't work out.
- Mm.
They stay out late.
There's no temperature.
I'm a corpse.
That's 'cause you're flapping
your gums
and letting the cold air in.
Here, try it again.
Come on, stick your...
- Put your tongue up.
- Ah! Ah!
You know how. You gotta stop playing.
Put this in your mouth.
- Mm.
- There you go.
All right, now, just be still.
All right, let it work.
All I'm saying is, doing a show
six nights a week, it takes stamina.
Well, Cherry,
they're a bunch of girls having fun.
In two more months,
they ain't gonna be your problem anymore.
Well, they're still my problem now.
Doing a show sloppy,
that's how people get hurt.
I don't... Not even a word.
I didn't get one word of that.
Oh!
There it is.
- Ninety-seven point four.
- Ah! It's going up.
♪ Ovulation, here we come ♪
♪ Ovulation, here we come ♪
You going to play tennis?
No, Ruth, I'm going
to a mid-morning costume party
dressed as John McEnroe's grandfather.
So, hey, how's the, uh...
how's the new room treating ya?
Great. I mean, the same.
You know, in the old one, uh,
the window opened up onto some tree
that was really triggering my allergies.
The pollen, I guess.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That, uh... desert pollen.
Up and at 'em!
Rise and shine!
What the fuck is going on out here?
It's the middle of the night.
Cherry, what is this?
- Fuckin' another fire drill?
- You wish.
Get your ass in a leotard and meet me
in the lobby in 15 minutes.
We're going to a dance class.
Tammé and I are taking an acting class,
and it's very physical,
and it cost 200 bucks.
Fine. You guys get a pass.
Everyone else, wake the fuck up!
It's gonna be a great day.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Cherry's taking everyone
to a dance class.
Oh, yeah, I'm good.
I got a, um, full body workout last night.
Come on. Put on some leg warmers.
It'll be like old times.
Five, six, seven, eight!
I just threw up in the parking lot.
Fucking mai tais.
Puking before class like a real ballerina.
We're hungover. Who fucking cares?
We're going to a showgirl dance class.
What, are they gonna teach us how
to walk down stairs with our tits out?
Someone get me ice
for my nipples. I need to warm up.
Do you think they're ready?
Let 'em have it.
You all right, buddy?
Yeah, yeah,
I think it's just the, uh... the pollen.
In the desert?
Hey! All right! Jer! Lev!
We're over here.
You know those guys?
Yeah, it's Jerry and Lev Zeissman.
The Zeissman twins?
They do that show Havana Dreams
over at, uh, Coconuts.
- They're our doubles partners.
- Oh, man!
We're playing doubles?
Sam, we're networking.
So... Hey, guys!
- Hey! Fellas!
- There he is. Look at this guy.
- Wait a minute.
- What?
- Hold on a second. You play a lot?
- No, no. When I can. You?
- Yeah, we dabble a little bit.
- We dabble.
Yeah, I've been fooling around at the club
with this Persian kid.
- What the hell's the kid's name? Akalee?
- Ah, man. No.
- Apabee? What the...
- Agassi?
- Agassi. Kid's got an arm like a cannon.
- Hair like a woman.
- Wow.
- Are you gonna go see
Milton Berle at the end of the week?
- Uncle Milty. One night only.
- Doing that special with Sid Caesar.
Uh... I didn't get an invitation.
Should we?
- All right! You're already in.
- We'll get you in.
- You guys!
- There you go.
All right, okay.
- Are we gonna play or...?
- We're just warming up a little bit.
We're playing.
- This is Sam.
- Great.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Yes.
Your core, tighten it.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Tuck your tail in.
- Tuck your tail in.
- Excuse me?
Oh, tuck your tail in
so your ass doesn't stick out.
Your ass is still out.
Your ass, it's still out.
Your... Okay.
Yes, perfect. Very good, very good.
Do it, Sam!
Whoa!
- Your point.
- Hey!
It's a friendly game.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, I got a question for you.
What level of SPF you wearing?
- You mean like suntan lotion?
- Yeah, Bash, buddy.
- You're in the desert. It's a must.
- It is a must.
Let me tell you something.
They took a mole off my forehead...
- You're not gonna believe this.
- No kidding. Three millimeters.
- In diameter.
- In diameter.
Look, if you need a good skin guy,
- go to Merucian.
- Merucian.
He's an Armenian gentleman.
- But good.
- But good.
- Knows what he's doing. He's good.
- Yeah.
Ooh.
You know who else is Armenian? Cher.
- Cher is also Armenian.
- And she's nice.
She's a nice girl.
You look at her, and you're like,
"How can she be nice?"
She's a nice, nice girl.
- Very nice.
- Great.
- All right, let's go. Let's do it.
- Old chatterbox Sylvie over here.
Arms straight.
All right, good job! Next group, come on.
Come on.
Let's go, ladies. Hustle up.
Get in line. Let's go.
Ladies, energy, smiles.
Face. Okay. Five, six, seven, eight!
Light feet. Keep 'em up. Light. Light.
Okay! Okay, all together, let's go.
All together.
Ladies, it's very crowded,
so please watch your spacing.
So it begins. The danse macabre,
the dance of death.
They're all the same height. Like...
- the Rockettes.
- Or department store mannequins
whose bodies don't need to contain organs.
I gotta get out of here.
All right. Five, six, seven, eight!
Have you cried for that boy today?
I don't mean for yourself
'cause we lost the money,
I mean for him!
What he been through.
When do you think is the time
to love somebody?
When he done good?
When he make life easier for everybody?
No.
No, no.
It's when he's at his lowest
and can't believe in hisself
'cause the world done whipped him so.
When you starts to measure somebody,
measure him right, child.
Measure him right.
'Cause we all know men gonna lie
about their measurements. Right, ladies?
And gentlemen?
That one over there. With the earring.
Hey... Hey, excuse me. What are you doing?
Just a little ad-libbing.
Making it more fun. More me.
But... But you're not you.
You're Lena Younger,
who's been forced to sell her home
because of the racism of the white man.
Well, as long as I sold it
at the top of the market, then I'm good.
All right.
All right, thank you.
All right, who's next?
Um...
Yep.
Any time you're ready.
Don't you think I can stand
the sight of blood?
You think I'm weak.
Oh, I should like to see
your blood flowing,
to see your brain on the chopping block,
all your sex swimming in a sea of blood.
I think could drink from your skull,
bathe my feet in your open breast,
- and eat your heart...
- Let's stop.
S-Stop, please.
I'm sorry. I said... I...
I think I said all the right words.
Per... Perhaps, but I can't hear them
because I'm so distracted by all this.
Well, this is...
me.
And yet, as I said to Miss Dawson, uh,
acting is about putting the self aside
in service of the text.
The text is feral, and I'm feral.
Wh-Whatever you are,
it's a problem.
You're the problem.
You know what? I fucking quit.
Acting is about putting aside the self,
but he can't look beyond what I'm wearing?
- Ah!
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- I mean, fuck that guy...
- Sheila!
- ...and fuck the $200!
- Sheila!
- Can you get my purse for me, honey?
- Oh, my God, your back...
It gets stiff.
Have you seen a doctor?
Dr. Hot Tub. Two hours in there,
and I'll be back in business.
We should talk to Ruth. Or Debbie.
Tell someone what's going on.
No, please. It's two more months.
Show'll be over.
I'll see a doctor when I get back to LA.
Okay?
- Okay.
- Come here.
- Let me help you.
- All right. Yeah, go ahead.
- You good?
- I'm good!
Thanks again for seeing us
on such short notice.
It was fun watching someone else
kick their asses for a change.
It's no skin off my nose.
Twelve extra girls, ten bucks a head,
one less hustle this week.
I thought you made good money at Rhapsody.
It's the longest-running show
at the Fan-Tan.
Oh, um, I'm not actually
in the show anymore. I had a baby.
- Congratulations!
- Yeah, Brandon.
He's gonna be 15 months next week.
- Oh, so you took time off.
- Well, I danced up until four months.
I was keeping everything really tight,
and I wasn't showing
and I thought I had another month in me,
but one day, I came off stage and just...
Whoo!
Blood everywhere. All over my costume,
all over the floor, just...
Mm! Everywhere.
- Jesus.
- Yeah.
Partial placental abruption.
Couldn't lift more than three pounds
for the rest of my pregnancy.
So, a 35-pound backpack covered
in ostrich feathers
and Swarovski crystals was out.
So when are they gonna put you back
in the show?
They audition girls every six months.
So, last time, they said I wasn't ready.
But, uh, the next one's
in just another couple months, so...
Was it worth it?
Sorry. My next class.
Hi, ladies!
- How are you?
- Good.
You look wonderful.
Have you been practicing?
- Yeah!
- Have you been practicing?
All right, let's come over here,
and let's talk about our positions.
- All right. See you guys tonight.
- Tonight. I love it.
- Stupendous showmanship.
- Thank you. You too.
They're coming to the show tonight.
And we're gonna be best friends
with Milton Berle.
Not bad for one set, huh?
Come on, that wasn't a set.
Gossiping between every point,
like a bunch of yentas.
I thought they were gonna
send out for tea,
- like it was fucking cricket or something.
- Sam...
If it was cricket, we'd be in flannels.
Look, I was just hoping
to work up a sweat, that's all.
You wanna play another round?
- Jesus, yes, yes.
- All right.
Okay, but go easy on me,
all right, big guy?
- All right, just shut up and hit the ball.
- You got it.
Fifteen-love.
♪ I am Cowboy Kim ♪
All right.
♪ I am a lucky cowboy
Let me tell you why ♪
Bam! Whoo!
- Oh!
- Goddammit.
Fuck that! Fuck you.
I just don't understand
why we kept having to do it
over and over again.
It just seemed like...
Aren't you coming to lunch?
It's, uh, dim sum Tuesday.
Um, I'm not hungry.
- Oh, God. So sorry.
- Don't apologize.
I always take the stairs.
Yeah, well, I'm just trying to squeeze in
a little exercise.
Get it where you can, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Would you like a little company?
I don't think I could ever
give up performing completely.
Plus, you know, I...
I'm the star of the show, so...
Oh, I get that.
I celebrated my 40th birthday
doing high kicks
wearing a great big feather headdress.
But you would be amazed
at how much more is possible
once you let that part go
and pick up the reins.
Plus, you get to eat Häagen-Dazs.
Häagen-Dazs. Okay.
Is that a... a Danish fellow?
Um, look, I know we didn't hit it off
right away,
and, uh,
I'm not the biggest wrestling fan,
but woman to woman,
my door is always open.
Ladies, we haven't been
to the Sands in a while.
And there's that new dance party
at the Tropicana.
- Do not say the word "dance."
- Okay. Circus Circus?
Hello? Is nobody coming out
with me tonight?
I'm hittin' the hot tub.
Tammé. You?
- No, my butt hurts too much.
- Come on!
Almost like someone was right
about you guys not being in shape.
Oh, fuck you, Cherry.
'Cause we are going out,
we are partying...
because some things
are worth fighting for.
No.
Knockity, knock, knock, knock!
Backstage tour coming through.
Don't get undressed yet.
But, ladies, please,
don't stop on our account, okay?
O-Obviously,
you guys have seen a backstage before.
Yeah, we have.
- Been banned from most of 'em.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is this? You guys get lost
on the way to the men's room?
- Hilarious.
- Good one, Sam.
Ladies, this is Lev and Jerry Zeissman.
You might have heard of the Cuban show
they've been doing over at Coconuts.
- We do it.
- Oh, and this is Debbie,
uh, the hardest-working lady producer
in showbiz.
- Ooh! Let me get a bite of this, huh?
- It's so good to have you here. Hi. Um,
- hope you had good... good seats.
- Oh, yeah. We did.
Front row view for all the action.
Yeah, including when that big girl
almost fell out of her costume.
- That was an accident.
- Hey, hey, hey!
- This is Vegas.
- Take it all off!
- I say put the knockers in the show.
- He said it.
- Jerry!
- Well, we're not showgirls.
No shit.
- What'd they say in the old days?
- Here we go.
- That a showgirl's tits...
- Here we go!
...should fit perfectly
right inside of a...
- What am I thinking of, Lev?
- Champagne saucer.
- Champagne saucer.
- Oh!
Well, I'm more
of a brandy snifter girl myself.
Maybe a pint glass.
- Personally, I like a little jiggle.
- He's a jiggle guy.
- Is that wrong? Am I wrong?
- Know what? I think we're done here.
- We just got here!
- Oh, let's get out of here!
Yeah! It's time to have a drink, you guys.
Debs, would you like to join us?
- Networking.
- I'm so sorry. I would love to,
but I'd rather eat out a dog's asshole.
Fucking schmucks.
Jenny, drink your rum and coke.
It'll perk you up.
I don't wanna perk up.
I wanna sleep.
Forever.
Oh, my God. It worked.
- What worked?
- Pretending you're funny.
Just... Oh. He's...
He's coming over here. Get away from me.
Seriously?
Yeah. You think I forgot
what happened with Phil?
- You owe me.
- All right.
Bye-bye.
You're not lonely over here, are you?
Not anymore.
I'm Paul.
What's your name?
What do you want it to be?
Oh!
Funny girl, huh?
You know me.
I don't, actually.
But I'd like to.
Oh!
- You got a room?
- Of course.
I practically live here.
Great.
You want to, uh...
discuss rate?
Um... We can... Look...
We can figure all that out later.
Okay, then.
You wanna get out of here?
Will you wait one second?
Jenny! He thinks I'm a hooker.
That's terrible. Do you feel ashamed?
Are you fucking kidding me?
He's so hot.
And he thinks I'm so hot
that he would pay money to fuck me.
I'm gonna take him upstairs,
so stay out of the fucking room.
Love you.
So, when you hug, you're...
you're supposed to put your arms up.
Wanna grab some dinner?
No, I... I cannot eat
from that garbage buffet again.
Debbie...
you need to eat something.
Oh, okay, Mom. Back off.
But would you eat dinner with...
a showgirl?
♪ Dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah ♪
Wha... Yeah.
♪ Dah-dah-dah! ♪
You don't look like a showgirl.
You look like a band nerd in a giant hat.
Oh, you have to use your imagination.
Well, it's hard to
when you're wearing a blouse
that saw my grandmother
through the Great Depression.
Fine.
No!
♪ Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
♪ Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
♪ Dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
- ♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
- No. No. No.
- ♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
- Ruth, no.
Ruthie! No!
♪ Diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly
Dee-dee-dee ♪
Oh, it's so heavy.
Hey, ladies. I...
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
Um...
All right, so I came in to apologize
for those Zeissman dickheads,
but, uh, but you...
- seem fine in here, huh?
- We're great.
Is, uh, she covered up?
No.
All right, Ruth. S-Sorry.
What'd I miss?
That was amazing.
I aim to please.
I should probably go.
Yeah, I guess so.
Well...
Well...
This part is always awkward.
Don't I know it.
Especially when we didn't nail down
the details beforehand.
Right.
But, uh... I'd say after the night we had,
$200 seems fair?
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my God, honey, more than fair.
Great.
You need to go get cash?
What are you talk...
What are you talking about?
To pay me.
Pay you? You're supposed to pay me.
Uh, that's not how this works.
How... How what works?
You see, like,
you hire a hooker, then you pay.
Exactly. And you hired me.
Are you saying
that you're some sort of male prostitute?
That's one way of putting it.
I thought you thought I was a prostitute.
Oh, come on.
Well, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding,
but you owe me 200 bucks.
No. Fuck no.
- Fuck no. I am not fucking paying you.
- Why not?
Because I don't pay for sex.
And you came like a fucking faucet.
- That's a physiological response.
- Okay.
You know, a creative professional
experiences satisfaction from their work,
- but that doesn't mean you don't pay them.
- Oh, my God!
That's funny. You're an artist!
I didn't realize you were an artist now!
Everyone,
- the Picasso of fucking gigolos is here!
- Okay, you know what?
- If it was just me... Uh...
- Uh-huh?
Well, I don't know... I don't know!
I got a pimp, all right?
And... And one way or another,
they're gonna get their cut.
I have a pimp too. And a lawyer.
A lawyer who's gonna argue
that I didn't enter
into a binding contractual agreement
with you, verbal or otherwise.
No. This is not over.
Yeah. It's obviously not over
'cause you have no fucking pants on.
- I'm getting my pants on.
- Yeah.
- And I'm getting outta here.
- Uh-huh.
Don't forget your silk underwear.
Yeah, I got all of it.
Motherfuck!
Cherry?
Cherry Bang?
What you doing in there,
girl? Come on out here now.
What?
Oh... What? Did your temperature drop?
I don't think I wanna do this.
Okay. All right. Come here. What's wrong?
Come here. Come here, baby. Have a seat.
Did something happen between this morning
and right now?
I just...
I just realized
that we never really talked about
what this is gonna do to my body.
Ideally?
Put a baby in it.
- There's so many things that can go wrong.
- Okay, yeah, we know that. We know.
Believe me,
we know that better than anybody.
But, baby, oh...
what if everything goes right?
All right, what about the show?
What about the show?
It's only for two more months.
You know, just take it easy till then.
Phone it in.
Lord knows the rest of them are, shit.
And then what?
I'll be out of commission for, what?
- Six months?
- All right. Okay.
A year?
Two?
I mean, this is my body.
- This is my livelihood.
- Then it'll be my turn.
I'll get more work.
I'll do my part. I'll step it up.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, when we get back,
I'm definitely gonna be making
a lot more phone calls.
I'm gonna be going out for everything.
Anything I see, I'm going out for.
Doing what?
Driving Camaros off cliffs
while I'm stuck at home with the kid?
Hold up. While you're stuck at home?
No, that's...
that's not what I meant. I'm...
I'm just...
I'm just asking.
Is that what you want?
What I want, Cherry,
is a fuckin' family! Fuck!
That's what I want.
I thought we both did.
And ever since I met you,
I have been waiting!
Waiting for you to finish your job.
Waiting for you to finish your movie.
And then waiting for you to even...
...to even be able to talk
about this shit again
after you had a miscarriage.
I don't think I wanna have a baby.
Does it matter what I want?
I don't... I don't know.
Then I don't know what I'm doing here.
- No, Keith...
- All right, well, you don't know.
- You said you don't fucking know.
- Keith, come on.
- Keith, where are you goin'?
- Out. Gonna get a drink.
- Somewhere I don't have to see your ass.
- Keith!
- Manny! ¿Cómo estás?
- You know how it is!
You think about putting me
in the show yet?
You need a sexy luchador?
Maybe, but right now,
I need two cheeseburgers.
Okay, mami. Go over there, relax,
and I'll bring it out, okay?
- Thanks, mami.
- Papi.
- Sam saw my boobs.
- He did.
Mm-hmm.
At least they’re champagne tits.
What? No, today I found out
that my boobs are too big
and my ass is four times the size
of every showgirl in Las Vegas.
- Debbie...
- No, don't... No!
Don't make me feel better. It's not...
It's, "Debbie, your ass is not big."
Your ass is big.
It's big, and juicy, and sexy,
and it's an honor
to have it in my face every night.
- Honor?
- You're not a ballerina, Debbie. You're...
an actress, and a wrestler,
and a businesswoman,
and a hot fucking piece,
and you fucking know it.
And why...
why do you have to beat yourself up
because you're not six-foot-two
and 70 pounds?
Because this...
I don't know. Because...
when I was, I don't know, 14, I...
I got the idea that, okay,
the only thing people
are ever gonna notice about me is my body,
so I guess it better be fucking perfect,
and somehow it's never left me.
Um, Deb, no offense,
but that's really stupid.
Mm-hmm. I know. That's...
I'm someone's mother, for fuck's sake.
And mothers are allowed
to eat cheeseburgers.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Starving.
Me too.
How? You were at the buffet for hours.
And I'll probably have ice cream
before bed.
Oh, okay. Now you're just being a bitch.
Hey, Manny?
Hey, dos vanilla milkshakes.
Yeah, okay. Dos vanilla for the ladies.
Today in that dance class,
I kept looking at them
and then looking at us,
and it made me think of that scene
in Funny Girl...
When... When Barbra puts the pillow
under her wedding dress
to make it look like she's pregnant
and comes down the stairs...
♪ I am the beautiful reflection ♪
♪ Of my love's affection ♪
♪ A walking illustration ♪
♪ Of his ♪
♪ Adoration ♪
A pregnant showgirl. Can you imagine?
Oh, they must take them out
to the desert and shoot them.
Randy.
Hey, Randy. Come here.
Come here, come say hi to Mom.
Whoa! Ooh! You okay?
What is that?
Is that a horse?
Can you say "horse"?
- Horse!
- Mm.
Hey, Randy, can you wave to Mom?
Wave to Mom.
There you go!
Can you say "Hi, Mommy"?
Hi!
Mama!
Hmm.
♪ I've been waiting for a guide to come
And take me by the hand ♪
♪ Could these sensations ♪
♪ Make me feel the pleasures ♪
♪ Of a normal man? ♪
♪ Lose sensation, spare the insults
Leave them for another day ♪
♪ I've got the spirit, lose the feeling
Take the shock away ♪
♪ It's getting faster, moving faster
Now it's getting out of hand ♪
♪ On the tenth floor, down the back stairs
It's a no-man's-land ♪
♪ Lights are flashing, cars are crashing
Getting frequent now ♪
♪ I've got the spirit, lose the feeling
Let it out somehow ♪
Stay strong. There you go.
Squeeze.
Squeeze.
All right, up.
- Good.
- This is just my warm-up.
Where is everyone?
They're supposed to be here
at 8:00 sharp.
I don't think most of 'em got in
until 7:00 at least.
They need to start getting serious
about staying in shape.
This show's been sloppy as shit.
Hey, don't get angry at me.
At least I showed up.
- You're right. All right, keep it up.
- Okay, next circuit.
And... go.
Wow!
You got them in the palm of your hand.
- You the trainer?
- Excuse me, do we know each other?
No, sorry. I'm Cherry Bang.
- Denise.
- I work with GLOW.
Oh, God.
- Oh!
- We're in the Jade Showroom.
Oh!
It's 13 other girls.
Denise says they do strength training
in the morning,
dance class in the afternoon
and have a fucking nutritionist.
Meanwhile, I just saw Jenny
in the kitchen spreading mayonnaise
on a block of cheddar cheese.
- That actually sounds good.
- Keith.
You gonna put that in your mouth,
or is it supposed to go somewhere else?
There you go.
These bitches, they don't stretch.
- They don't work out.
- Mm.
They stay out late.
There's no temperature.
I'm a corpse.
That's 'cause you're flapping
your gums
and letting the cold air in.
Here, try it again.
Come on, stick your...
- Put your tongue up.
- Ah! Ah!
You know how. You gotta stop playing.
Put this in your mouth.
- Mm.
- There you go.
All right, now, just be still.
All right, let it work.
All I'm saying is, doing a show
six nights a week, it takes stamina.
Well, Cherry,
they're a bunch of girls having fun.
In two more months,
they ain't gonna be your problem anymore.
Well, they're still my problem now.
Doing a show sloppy,
that's how people get hurt.
I don't... Not even a word.
I didn't get one word of that.
Oh!
There it is.
- Ninety-seven point four.
- Ah! It's going up.
♪ Ovulation, here we come ♪
♪ Ovulation, here we come ♪
You going to play tennis?
No, Ruth, I'm going
to a mid-morning costume party
dressed as John McEnroe's grandfather.
So, hey, how's the, uh...
how's the new room treating ya?
Great. I mean, the same.
You know, in the old one, uh,
the window opened up onto some tree
that was really triggering my allergies.
The pollen, I guess.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That, uh... desert pollen.
Up and at 'em!
Rise and shine!
What the fuck is going on out here?
It's the middle of the night.
Cherry, what is this?
- Fuckin' another fire drill?
- You wish.
Get your ass in a leotard and meet me
in the lobby in 15 minutes.
We're going to a dance class.
Tammé and I are taking an acting class,
and it's very physical,
and it cost 200 bucks.
Fine. You guys get a pass.
Everyone else, wake the fuck up!
It's gonna be a great day.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Cherry's taking everyone
to a dance class.
Oh, yeah, I'm good.
I got a, um, full body workout last night.
Come on. Put on some leg warmers.
It'll be like old times.
Five, six, seven, eight!
I just threw up in the parking lot.
Fucking mai tais.
Puking before class like a real ballerina.
We're hungover. Who fucking cares?
We're going to a showgirl dance class.
What, are they gonna teach us how
to walk down stairs with our tits out?
Someone get me ice
for my nipples. I need to warm up.
Do you think they're ready?
Let 'em have it.
You all right, buddy?
Yeah, yeah,
I think it's just the, uh... the pollen.
In the desert?
Hey! All right! Jer! Lev!
We're over here.
You know those guys?
Yeah, it's Jerry and Lev Zeissman.
The Zeissman twins?
They do that show Havana Dreams
over at, uh, Coconuts.
- They're our doubles partners.
- Oh, man!
We're playing doubles?
Sam, we're networking.
So... Hey, guys!
- Hey! Fellas!
- There he is. Look at this guy.
- Wait a minute.
- What?
- Hold on a second. You play a lot?
- No, no. When I can. You?
- Yeah, we dabble a little bit.
- We dabble.
Yeah, I've been fooling around at the club
with this Persian kid.
- What the hell's the kid's name? Akalee?
- Ah, man. No.
- Apabee? What the...
- Agassi?
- Agassi. Kid's got an arm like a cannon.
- Hair like a woman.
- Wow.
- Are you gonna go see
Milton Berle at the end of the week?
- Uncle Milty. One night only.
- Doing that special with Sid Caesar.
Uh... I didn't get an invitation.
Should we?
- All right! You're already in.
- We'll get you in.
- You guys!
- There you go.
All right, okay.
- Are we gonna play or...?
- We're just warming up a little bit.
We're playing.
- This is Sam.
- Great.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Yes.
Your core, tighten it.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Tuck your tail in.
- Tuck your tail in.
- Excuse me?
Oh, tuck your tail in
so your ass doesn't stick out.
Your ass is still out.
Your ass, it's still out.
Your... Okay.
Yes, perfect. Very good, very good.
Do it, Sam!
Whoa!
- Your point.
- Hey!
It's a friendly game.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, I got a question for you.
What level of SPF you wearing?
- You mean like suntan lotion?
- Yeah, Bash, buddy.
- You're in the desert. It's a must.
- It is a must.
Let me tell you something.
They took a mole off my forehead...
- You're not gonna believe this.
- No kidding. Three millimeters.
- In diameter.
- In diameter.
Look, if you need a good skin guy,
- go to Merucian.
- Merucian.
He's an Armenian gentleman.
- But good.
- But good.
- Knows what he's doing. He's good.
- Yeah.
Ooh.
You know who else is Armenian? Cher.
- Cher is also Armenian.
- And she's nice.
She's a nice girl.
You look at her, and you're like,
"How can she be nice?"
She's a nice, nice girl.
- Very nice.
- Great.
- All right, let's go. Let's do it.
- Old chatterbox Sylvie over here.
Arms straight.
All right, good job! Next group, come on.
Come on.
Let's go, ladies. Hustle up.
Get in line. Let's go.
Ladies, energy, smiles.
Face. Okay. Five, six, seven, eight!
Light feet. Keep 'em up. Light. Light.
Okay! Okay, all together, let's go.
All together.
Ladies, it's very crowded,
so please watch your spacing.
So it begins. The danse macabre,
the dance of death.
They're all the same height. Like...
- the Rockettes.
- Or department store mannequins
whose bodies don't need to contain organs.
I gotta get out of here.
All right. Five, six, seven, eight!
Have you cried for that boy today?
I don't mean for yourself
'cause we lost the money,
I mean for him!
What he been through.
When do you think is the time
to love somebody?
When he done good?
When he make life easier for everybody?
No.
No, no.
It's when he's at his lowest
and can't believe in hisself
'cause the world done whipped him so.
When you starts to measure somebody,
measure him right, child.
Measure him right.
'Cause we all know men gonna lie
about their measurements. Right, ladies?
And gentlemen?
That one over there. With the earring.
Hey... Hey, excuse me. What are you doing?
Just a little ad-libbing.
Making it more fun. More me.
But... But you're not you.
You're Lena Younger,
who's been forced to sell her home
because of the racism of the white man.
Well, as long as I sold it
at the top of the market, then I'm good.
All right.
All right, thank you.
All right, who's next?
Um...
Yep.
Any time you're ready.
Don't you think I can stand
the sight of blood?
You think I'm weak.
Oh, I should like to see
your blood flowing,
to see your brain on the chopping block,
all your sex swimming in a sea of blood.
I think could drink from your skull,
bathe my feet in your open breast,
- and eat your heart...
- Let's stop.
S-Stop, please.
I'm sorry. I said... I...
I think I said all the right words.
Per... Perhaps, but I can't hear them
because I'm so distracted by all this.
Well, this is...
me.
And yet, as I said to Miss Dawson, uh,
acting is about putting the self aside
in service of the text.
The text is feral, and I'm feral.
Wh-Whatever you are,
it's a problem.
You're the problem.
You know what? I fucking quit.
Acting is about putting aside the self,
but he can't look beyond what I'm wearing?
- Ah!
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- I mean, fuck that guy...
- Sheila!
- ...and fuck the $200!
- Sheila!
- Can you get my purse for me, honey?
- Oh, my God, your back...
It gets stiff.
Have you seen a doctor?
Dr. Hot Tub. Two hours in there,
and I'll be back in business.
We should talk to Ruth. Or Debbie.
Tell someone what's going on.
No, please. It's two more months.
Show'll be over.
I'll see a doctor when I get back to LA.
Okay?
- Okay.
- Come here.
- Let me help you.
- All right. Yeah, go ahead.
- You good?
- I'm good!
Thanks again for seeing us
on such short notice.
It was fun watching someone else
kick their asses for a change.
It's no skin off my nose.
Twelve extra girls, ten bucks a head,
one less hustle this week.
I thought you made good money at Rhapsody.
It's the longest-running show
at the Fan-Tan.
Oh, um, I'm not actually
in the show anymore. I had a baby.
- Congratulations!
- Yeah, Brandon.
He's gonna be 15 months next week.
- Oh, so you took time off.
- Well, I danced up until four months.
I was keeping everything really tight,
and I wasn't showing
and I thought I had another month in me,
but one day, I came off stage and just...
Whoo!
Blood everywhere. All over my costume,
all over the floor, just...
Mm! Everywhere.
- Jesus.
- Yeah.
Partial placental abruption.
Couldn't lift more than three pounds
for the rest of my pregnancy.
So, a 35-pound backpack covered
in ostrich feathers
and Swarovski crystals was out.
So when are they gonna put you back
in the show?
They audition girls every six months.
So, last time, they said I wasn't ready.
But, uh, the next one's
in just another couple months, so...
Was it worth it?
Sorry. My next class.
Hi, ladies!
- How are you?
- Good.
You look wonderful.
Have you been practicing?
- Yeah!
- Have you been practicing?
All right, let's come over here,
and let's talk about our positions.
- All right. See you guys tonight.
- Tonight. I love it.
- Stupendous showmanship.
- Thank you. You too.
They're coming to the show tonight.
And we're gonna be best friends
with Milton Berle.
Not bad for one set, huh?
Come on, that wasn't a set.
Gossiping between every point,
like a bunch of yentas.
I thought they were gonna
send out for tea,
- like it was fucking cricket or something.
- Sam...
If it was cricket, we'd be in flannels.
Look, I was just hoping
to work up a sweat, that's all.
You wanna play another round?
- Jesus, yes, yes.
- All right.
Okay, but go easy on me,
all right, big guy?
- All right, just shut up and hit the ball.
- You got it.
Fifteen-love.
♪ I am Cowboy Kim ♪
All right.
♪ I am a lucky cowboy
Let me tell you why ♪
Bam! Whoo!
- Oh!
- Goddammit.
Fuck that! Fuck you.
I just don't understand
why we kept having to do it
over and over again.
It just seemed like...
Aren't you coming to lunch?
It's, uh, dim sum Tuesday.
Um, I'm not hungry.
- Oh, God. So sorry.
- Don't apologize.
I always take the stairs.
Yeah, well, I'm just trying to squeeze in
a little exercise.
Get it where you can, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Would you like a little company?
I don't think I could ever
give up performing completely.
Plus, you know, I...
I'm the star of the show, so...
Oh, I get that.
I celebrated my 40th birthday
doing high kicks
wearing a great big feather headdress.
But you would be amazed
at how much more is possible
once you let that part go
and pick up the reins.
Plus, you get to eat Häagen-Dazs.
Häagen-Dazs. Okay.
Is that a... a Danish fellow?
Um, look, I know we didn't hit it off
right away,
and, uh,
I'm not the biggest wrestling fan,
but woman to woman,
my door is always open.
Ladies, we haven't been
to the Sands in a while.
And there's that new dance party
at the Tropicana.
- Do not say the word "dance."
- Okay. Circus Circus?
Hello? Is nobody coming out
with me tonight?
I'm hittin' the hot tub.
Tammé. You?
- No, my butt hurts too much.
- Come on!
Almost like someone was right
about you guys not being in shape.
Oh, fuck you, Cherry.
'Cause we are going out,
we are partying...
because some things
are worth fighting for.
No.
Knockity, knock, knock, knock!
Backstage tour coming through.
Don't get undressed yet.
But, ladies, please,
don't stop on our account, okay?
O-Obviously,
you guys have seen a backstage before.
Yeah, we have.
- Been banned from most of 'em.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is this? You guys get lost
on the way to the men's room?
- Hilarious.
- Good one, Sam.
Ladies, this is Lev and Jerry Zeissman.
You might have heard of the Cuban show
they've been doing over at Coconuts.
- We do it.
- Oh, and this is Debbie,
uh, the hardest-working lady producer
in showbiz.
- Ooh! Let me get a bite of this, huh?
- It's so good to have you here. Hi. Um,
- hope you had good... good seats.
- Oh, yeah. We did.
Front row view for all the action.
Yeah, including when that big girl
almost fell out of her costume.
- That was an accident.
- Hey, hey, hey!
- This is Vegas.
- Take it all off!
- I say put the knockers in the show.
- He said it.
- Jerry!
- Well, we're not showgirls.
No shit.
- What'd they say in the old days?
- Here we go.
- That a showgirl's tits...
- Here we go!
...should fit perfectly
right inside of a...
- What am I thinking of, Lev?
- Champagne saucer.
- Champagne saucer.
- Oh!
Well, I'm more
of a brandy snifter girl myself.
Maybe a pint glass.
- Personally, I like a little jiggle.
- He's a jiggle guy.
- Is that wrong? Am I wrong?
- Know what? I think we're done here.
- We just got here!
- Oh, let's get out of here!
Yeah! It's time to have a drink, you guys.
Debs, would you like to join us?
- Networking.
- I'm so sorry. I would love to,
but I'd rather eat out a dog's asshole.
Fucking schmucks.
Jenny, drink your rum and coke.
It'll perk you up.
I don't wanna perk up.
I wanna sleep.
Forever.
Oh, my God. It worked.
- What worked?
- Pretending you're funny.
Just... Oh. He's...
He's coming over here. Get away from me.
Seriously?
Yeah. You think I forgot
what happened with Phil?
- You owe me.
- All right.
Bye-bye.
You're not lonely over here, are you?
Not anymore.
I'm Paul.
What's your name?
What do you want it to be?
Oh!
Funny girl, huh?
You know me.
I don't, actually.
But I'd like to.
Oh!
- You got a room?
- Of course.
I practically live here.
Great.
You want to, uh...
discuss rate?
Um... We can... Look...
We can figure all that out later.
Okay, then.
You wanna get out of here?
Will you wait one second?
Jenny! He thinks I'm a hooker.
That's terrible. Do you feel ashamed?
Are you fucking kidding me?
He's so hot.
And he thinks I'm so hot
that he would pay money to fuck me.
I'm gonna take him upstairs,
so stay out of the fucking room.
Love you.
So, when you hug, you're...
you're supposed to put your arms up.
Wanna grab some dinner?
No, I... I cannot eat
from that garbage buffet again.
Debbie...
you need to eat something.
Oh, okay, Mom. Back off.
But would you eat dinner with...
a showgirl?
♪ Dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah ♪
Wha... Yeah.
♪ Dah-dah-dah! ♪
You don't look like a showgirl.
You look like a band nerd in a giant hat.
Oh, you have to use your imagination.
Well, it's hard to
when you're wearing a blouse
that saw my grandmother
through the Great Depression.
Fine.
No!
♪ Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
♪ Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
♪ Dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
- ♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
- No. No. No.
- ♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
- Ruth, no.
Ruthie! No!
♪ Diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly
Dee-dee-dee ♪
Oh, it's so heavy.
Hey, ladies. I...
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
Um...
All right, so I came in to apologize
for those Zeissman dickheads,
but, uh, but you...
- seem fine in here, huh?
- We're great.
Is, uh, she covered up?
No.
All right, Ruth. S-Sorry.
What'd I miss?
That was amazing.
I aim to please.
I should probably go.
Yeah, I guess so.
Well...
Well...
This part is always awkward.
Don't I know it.
Especially when we didn't nail down
the details beforehand.
Right.
But, uh... I'd say after the night we had,
$200 seems fair?
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my God, honey, more than fair.
Great.
You need to go get cash?
What are you talk...
What are you talking about?
To pay me.
Pay you? You're supposed to pay me.
Uh, that's not how this works.
How... How what works?
You see, like,
you hire a hooker, then you pay.
Exactly. And you hired me.
Are you saying
that you're some sort of male prostitute?
That's one way of putting it.
I thought you thought I was a prostitute.
Oh, come on.
Well, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding,
but you owe me 200 bucks.
No. Fuck no.
- Fuck no. I am not fucking paying you.
- Why not?
Because I don't pay for sex.
And you came like a fucking faucet.
- That's a physiological response.
- Okay.
You know, a creative professional
experiences satisfaction from their work,
- but that doesn't mean you don't pay them.
- Oh, my God!
That's funny. You're an artist!
I didn't realize you were an artist now!
Everyone,
- the Picasso of fucking gigolos is here!
- Okay, you know what?
- If it was just me... Uh...
- Uh-huh?
Well, I don't know... I don't know!
I got a pimp, all right?
And... And one way or another,
they're gonna get their cut.
I have a pimp too. And a lawyer.
A lawyer who's gonna argue
that I didn't enter
into a binding contractual agreement
with you, verbal or otherwise.
No. This is not over.
Yeah. It's obviously not over
'cause you have no fucking pants on.
- I'm getting my pants on.
- Yeah.
- And I'm getting outta here.
- Uh-huh.
Don't forget your silk underwear.
Yeah, I got all of it.
Motherfuck!
Cherry?
Cherry Bang?
What you doing in there,
girl? Come on out here now.
What?
Oh... What? Did your temperature drop?
I don't think I wanna do this.
Okay. All right. Come here. What's wrong?
Come here. Come here, baby. Have a seat.
Did something happen between this morning
and right now?
I just...
I just realized
that we never really talked about
what this is gonna do to my body.
Ideally?
Put a baby in it.
- There's so many things that can go wrong.
- Okay, yeah, we know that. We know.
Believe me,
we know that better than anybody.
But, baby, oh...
what if everything goes right?
All right, what about the show?
What about the show?
It's only for two more months.
You know, just take it easy till then.
Phone it in.
Lord knows the rest of them are, shit.
And then what?
I'll be out of commission for, what?
- Six months?
- All right. Okay.
A year?
Two?
I mean, this is my body.
- This is my livelihood.
- Then it'll be my turn.
I'll get more work.
I'll do my part. I'll step it up.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, when we get back,
I'm definitely gonna be making
a lot more phone calls.
I'm gonna be going out for everything.
Anything I see, I'm going out for.
Doing what?
Driving Camaros off cliffs
while I'm stuck at home with the kid?
Hold up. While you're stuck at home?
No, that's...
that's not what I meant. I'm...
I'm just...
I'm just asking.
Is that what you want?
What I want, Cherry,
is a fuckin' family! Fuck!
That's what I want.
I thought we both did.
And ever since I met you,
I have been waiting!
Waiting for you to finish your job.
Waiting for you to finish your movie.
And then waiting for you to even...
...to even be able to talk
about this shit again
after you had a miscarriage.
I don't think I wanna have a baby.
Does it matter what I want?
I don't... I don't know.
Then I don't know what I'm doing here.
- No, Keith...
- All right, well, you don't know.
- You said you don't fucking know.
- Keith, come on.
- Keith, where are you goin'?
- Out. Gonna get a drink.
- Somewhere I don't have to see your ass.
- Keith!
- Manny! ¿Cómo estás?
- You know how it is!
You think about putting me
in the show yet?
You need a sexy luchador?
Maybe, but right now,
I need two cheeseburgers.
Okay, mami. Go over there, relax,
and I'll bring it out, okay?
- Thanks, mami.
- Papi.
- Sam saw my boobs.
- He did.
Mm-hmm.
At least they’re champagne tits.
What? No, today I found out
that my boobs are too big
and my ass is four times the size
of every showgirl in Las Vegas.
- Debbie...
- No, don't... No!
Don't make me feel better. It's not...
It's, "Debbie, your ass is not big."
Your ass is big.
It's big, and juicy, and sexy,
and it's an honor
to have it in my face every night.
- Honor?
- You're not a ballerina, Debbie. You're...
an actress, and a wrestler,
and a businesswoman,
and a hot fucking piece,
and you fucking know it.
And why...
why do you have to beat yourself up
because you're not six-foot-two
and 70 pounds?
Because this...
I don't know. Because...
when I was, I don't know, 14, I...
I got the idea that, okay,
the only thing people
are ever gonna notice about me is my body,
so I guess it better be fucking perfect,
and somehow it's never left me.
Um, Deb, no offense,
but that's really stupid.
Mm-hmm. I know. That's...
I'm someone's mother, for fuck's sake.
And mothers are allowed
to eat cheeseburgers.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Starving.
Me too.
How? You were at the buffet for hours.
And I'll probably have ice cream
before bed.
Oh, okay. Now you're just being a bitch.
Hey, Manny?
Hey, dos vanilla milkshakes.
Yeah, okay. Dos vanilla for the ladies.
Today in that dance class,
I kept looking at them
and then looking at us,
and it made me think of that scene
in Funny Girl...
When... When Barbra puts the pillow
under her wedding dress
to make it look like she's pregnant
and comes down the stairs...
♪ I am the beautiful reflection ♪
♪ Of my love's affection ♪
♪ A walking illustration ♪
♪ Of his ♪
♪ Adoration ♪
A pregnant showgirl. Can you imagine?
Oh, they must take them out
to the desert and shoot them.
Randy.
Hey, Randy. Come here.
Come here, come say hi to Mom.
Whoa! Ooh! You okay?
What is that?
Is that a horse?
Can you say "horse"?
- Horse!
- Mm.
Hey, Randy, can you wave to Mom?
Wave to Mom.
There you go!
Can you say "Hi, Mommy"?
Hi!
Mama!
Hmm.
♪ I've been waiting for a guide to come
And take me by the hand ♪
♪ Could these sensations ♪
♪ Make me feel the pleasures ♪
♪ Of a normal man? ♪
♪ Lose sensation, spare the insults
Leave them for another day ♪
♪ I've got the spirit, lose the feeling
Take the shock away ♪
♪ It's getting faster, moving faster
Now it's getting out of hand ♪
♪ On the tenth floor, down the back stairs
It's a no-man's-land ♪
♪ Lights are flashing, cars are crashing
Getting frequent now ♪
♪ I've got the spirit, lose the feeling
Let it out somehow ♪