GLOW (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - The Liberal Chokehold - full transcript
As Bash has been financially cut off by his mother, the ladies attempt to raise money for a new venue by hosting a car wash at the motel.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
TWA Flight 847,
hijacked five days ago by Shia Muslims,
sits on the tarmac at Beirut Airport.
Today, an exclusive interview
with pilot Captain John Testrake.
- Have you been well-treated?
- Yes.
- Right.
- Are you able to eat
what you want to eat?
Well, uh...
They sometimes bring us airline food
and they sometimes bring us, uh,
Lebanese food,
- and it's different, but it's delicious.
- What's Lebanese food?
- Like, beans or something.
- The food is okay.
Or, like, noodles with spices, I think.
The bathroom on that plane
has to be disgusting by now.
There's no one else on board.
They took everyone off and hid them
in... What's it called?
- Hezbollah.
- They're in Beirut.
- The city's called Beirut.
- It's Hezbollah.
Hezbollah's a group of people.
This is a city,
and the city is Beirut.
Can we all just stop saying that word?
Any messages for your families?
Sorry.
Hi, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had my own hostage situation here.
Those hijackers have nothing
on this little terrorist.
I will be back at five.
Don't make me wait, Mark.
- Are you taking off?
- I have practice in an hour.
It's in an hour.
I could have three meals in an hour.
Um, well... I am not staying for you.
The hotel has no food,
and I need to carbo-load.
- I'm just gonna use my hands.
- She's gonna go for it. Oh...
Look what Mommy's doing.
- That's scary. Mommy's scary.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, of course, you're perfect now.
- Look at her go.
The 39 Americans held hostage
for 17 days by terrorists in Lebanon
are free, safe, and at this moment,
on their way to Frankfurt...
Too bad that whole thing is over.
It was a ratings bonanza.
Mm.
Is that the lineup?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Look, here's GLOW.
Right between Dr. Gene Scott
and a new animated show
called Miyamoto Musashi.
Ah. Between a nutjob televangelist
and an oriental cartoon.
You'd be surprised.
It's a great slot.
Right.
Well, we, uh... We just have a few notes.
Overall, extremely positive.
Just a few concerns.
Specifically, the, uh...
The colorful language and the KKK.
Oh, really?
You didn't like that one, Glen?
Well, uh... Ah!
- Yeah.
- I'll tell you what I did love:
The two black girls. We want more of them.
Oh, sure you do.
Socially beneficial programming,
part of our mission.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
Please continue.
- We were just talking about the KKK.
- Yes, of course.
Have you guys, uh, determined
a filming location yet?
- You don't know where you're filming?
- No, no. No.
We have a great venue picked out.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
But maybe KDTV has an extra studio
- as an alternative.
- Mr. Howard,
we were very explicit about this.
We provide the cameras and the airwaves,
you provide everything else.
That's part of the reason
we agreed to do this project.
Right. Sorry.
First-time producer jitters and all that.
Yeah.
Well, I'm very excited, guys. All right?
We'll talk soon.
- Sam.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay. All right, Bash.
- Okay.
- Talk to you later.
- That went well.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
Where the hell have you been
for two weeks?
Well, I started
at the Redondo Fun Factory.
I got the high score on Burger Time,
then I was in a little beach shack
and I met this guy Raúl
who makes tequila...
I don't need your travel itinerary,
I need $9,000 so I don't lose the venue.
There's no money.
Birdie cut me off, okay?
I've got nothing.
I had a few thousand
which I tried to turn at the racetrack,
but then "Pyrrhic Victory"
came in fucking seventh.
Well, what about GLOW?
What about my movie?
We had an agreement, man.
I know. And I'm sorry, Sam.
You're the fuckin' producer.
You're a human checkbook.
And if you're not that,
you're just some overeager fanboy
who's sold 14 women
on some crazy fuckin' pipe dream.
I'm gonna get it together.
It's not over yet.
When there's no more money, it's over.
So, we're canceled.
Well, technically,
you can't really be canceled
if you haven't aired.
But we're on hiatus.
Open-ended.
- Should we start looking for other jobs?
- Well, do what you gotta do, but...
yeah, probably.
Okay, this is bullshit, Sam.
We've all worked really hard.
I don't even talk to my dad anymore.
That's how bad I wanna do this.
Do you guys know how many plays I've done
with no budget,
where we've had to build every prop,
every piece of scenery?
I did a version of Peter Pan
where we couldn't afford a flying rig,
so two stage hands carried me around
for three hours.
- How much do we need?
- Yeah.
$9,000.
- What the fuck?
- Shit.
No, please.
No, we can make that in our sleep.
- Charge people to watch us sleep?
- No. We fundraise.
- Shake the trees.
- We should do a car wash.
Yes! It's LA. Everybody has a car.
We can wear bikini tops and pretend
to fawn over engine size and horsepower.
- Eh.
- No, trust me.
In college,
my sorority raised thousands of dollars
for world hunger.
We used that money to remodel the deck.
So, all I had to do to get you over
to the house was freeze your trust.
Heh.
I'll remember that.
Oh, hand me my readers.
What's with the seating chart?
Lily getting remarried?
Very funny. No, your sister
left the Persian months ago.
I'm having a fund-raiser
for Nancy's Just Say No campaign.
I sent you the details.
- Mm-hmm.
- This calligraphy is terrible.
- So modern.
- Yeah, well, it's a lot to produce.
You have a lot of people counting on you
to spell their names correctly...
and seat them and feed them.
What do you want?
I'm requesting a thaw.
No.
You have spent hundreds of thousands
of dollars in less than three months.
Unless you're running for office,
I can't possibly imagine
where all the money has gone.
I'm producing a women's wrestling show
for KDTV.
Yes, it's real.
It's the first time I've put your money
into something I care about.
And I just need 9,000 more dollars
so I can finish what I started.
Come on, Birdie! Just say yes.
- That's off-message.
- Think of it like an investment.
An opportunity to get in
on the ground floor
of a really exciting new venture.
I don't have any specs,
but I can get you a business plan.
Know what, why don't you come down
to the gym and see it for yourself?
Come on down to that worthless property
that you can't even get insured,
because, hey, it's on a fault line.
Another wise decision.
Consider it a loan.
Cut me a check and I'll pay you back.
Since when do we talk
so openly about money?
What, are we Jews?
Mom, I got a lot of people counting on me.
This is important.
And keeping poor black children
off of crack is very important to me.
I expect you at that party on time.
I also need you to introduce me,
since Bill Buckley canceled.
He claims he's on a deadline,
but he's probably just...
wandering around his house,
fiddling with his harpsichord.
Hi! Welcome to the car wash!
How are you? So it's $10 for a hand-wash,
$20 for interior work.
- I'll do $20.
- Okay.
Hi.
- Thank you.
- Thank you!
Oh, are these nail clippings?
Maybe they're Fritos.
Yeah?
Do you really think
the show might go away?
Like, we'd all never see each other again?
It's not sleep-away camp,
I mean, it's... It's a job.
All jobs are a crapshoot. Get used to it.
What?
Did you steal more of my shit?
- I did not invite you.
- I wanted to support women's sports.
They gave me a new parking spot at work.
My car's filthy. It's under a fig tree.
Well, you'll have to pay double.
For the fig juice.
Okay.
Um, I'll be right back.
I'm just gonna go get a soda.
So, that's the guy?
In the Beemer right there?
Yep.
Not what I expected.
You were expecting what? Sean Penn?
No, just someone less
like a giant Cabbage Patch Kid.
I mean, I'm better-looking
than that idiot.
I'm a sucker for non-threatening,
unavailable men who compliment me.
Ugh. I got soap in my eyes.
- Why aren't you out there helping?
- Uh...
I don't look good in a bikini.
Yet.
Hello.
Oh. Uh...
Baby, phone call.
Who is it?
I don't know, some chick named Mallory.
Cherry Bang?
Yeah.
That can't possibly be your real name.
I'm sorry, do I know you?
Got your name
from Glen Klitnick.
They're developing a show
called Chambers and Gold,
it's essentially Cagney & Lacey,
but with a black girl and a Jew.
Anyway, we'd like to bring you in.
Seriously?
If you want the sides,
come down to my office.
The audition is tomorrow. 6464 Sunset.
What was that?
Think I just got an audition.
Don't eat cantaloupe.
Oh, hey.
It's the Little Match Girl.
- You don't look poor.
- He's not poor. He's broke.
There's a difference.
Sam, can we go talk for a sec?
Whatever you gotta say,
you can say it in front of the girls.
Well, I spoke to my mother...
and I tried, I begged.
- Wasn't easy.
- It "wasn't easy"?
We cleaned dead skin out of upholstery
to try and keep this thing afloat.
Really?
Well, how much did you make?
Two hundred and eighty-seven dollars.
That's it?
I haven't counted the change yet.
So we'll have another car wash.
We'll do a car wash every day
until we raise enough money,
until every car in this state is shining.
- Because we have to do something.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we'll step up our game this time.
And go topless.
My mom's having a fund-raiser.
- For women's wrestling?
- It doesn't matter what it's for,
it's a room full of rich people
with open checkbooks.
If we crash it, I bet we can walk out
of there with something.
We... Do we get to dress up?
- Hi, Sam.
- Good evening.
Why are you all dressed
like fancy Mormons?
Bash said to look conservative.
We didn't have a lot of options.
Mm.
Hey, Gary. What a turnout tonight, huh?
I'm sorry, Sebastian,
you're on the list plus one, not 20.
No, no, no. These are the... the girls.
The former drug addicts?
- From WAD?
- What? WAD?
Uh, WAD. Wrestlers Against Drugs.
- They're not on the list.
- 'Cause they're speakers, Gary.
They've turned their lives around
through commitment
to fitness and wrestling.
For God's sakes, this young lady,
two months ago,
she was selling her body for crack.
Now she's training every day,
living in a halfway house.
She came here tonight to tell her story.
- Yeah, I...
- Through a translator,
because she doesn't speak English.
- Just don't touch anything.
- Okay.
Please don't mingle,
don't talk to anybody. Steal nothing.
Hi.
I'm their drug counselor.
- Sir.
- Choose life.
I did.
Well, I believe in 1986, we're
not only gonna keep control of the Senate,
we're gonna break that liberal choke hold
on the House, too.
You see, Birdie? "The liberal choke hold."
- You do like wrestling.
- Ah. Hello, sweetheart.
Aw.
Ooh, you smell nice!
I'm Debbie Eagan. I'm a friend of Bash's.
Oh.
- You certainly wear a lot of makeup.
- Oh, thank you...
This is such bullshit.
Fighting the drug war
while they get loaded on Kir Royales.
Fucking white, right-wing idiots.
Someone's grumpier than usual.
We lost the venue.
- The lady just called me an hour ago.
- Shit.
So, now I'm here to drink
and not be alone
before I never see any of you again.
Jesus, we'll find another venue.
Come on. We may be down,
but we're not out.
You're, like, half-Pollyanna,
half-Vince Lombardi.
What can I say? I love a Hail Mary.
I'm gonna charm old people.
Are you gonna be okay?
I'm not a child. I'll be fine.
All right.
Come back, play more Brubeck,
then get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, man.
Got any blow?
No. We don't.
You want some?
Man.
Two more of these Beverly Hills parties,
and we can get studio time.
Gotta do the gigs
so you can make shit you want.
I've been making this wrestling TV show
just so I can fund my next movie.
Huh. No shit.
Yeah. Well...
I've been working on it
for, like, ten years, man. Ten years.
Mm.
It's a semi-autobiographical,
psycho-sexual, time-travel drama.
What does that mean?
All right, I'll tell ya.
It's about a boy, this all-American kid,
can't stop jerking off to fantasies
about having sex with his mother.
Right. It makes him hate himself.
Right? So, he builds a time machine
to go into the future
where she's old and hideous
so he can escape his Oedipal impulses.
But... All right?
Here's the "but."
He puts the wrong date in the machine,
and he goes back in time instead
to the 1950s,
where she's just a horny teenager,
and she spends the rest of the movie
just trying to fuck him instead
of his dad.
Lookit, I've seen that movie.
No, you haven't. I haven't made it.
It's called Mothers and Lovers.
Nah. Nah, bro,
it's called Back to the Future.
Right, okay, so, you saw a movie
about a guy who goes back in time
and almost has sex with his mother?
Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, man. Just opened.
- It's... It's fucking funny, too.
- Yeah, people fucking loved it.
- You're serious?
Dead serious.
It's hilarious.
Fuck!
- Hello, sir.
- Oh, wait.
We're sober.
I live in a halfway house, remember?
Yeah, okay, but what if
I fall off the wagon right now
and then I sober up
by the end of the party?
- No.
- We're going to the bar right after this.
Here's what I've learned:
I really like candelabra sconces.
And I've learned don't look directly
into Bash's mom's eyes.
Look, I know that Mark has been...
Popping up a lot lately?
Yeah. And I just...
I appreciate you
just getting the fuck out of the way.
It's one less minefield.
He wants to work things out.
He wants me to come home and try.
Go to therapy.
So, are you going to? What about the show?
I don't know, okay?
I mean,
we might not even have a show. So...
Well, you'll get something else.
You always have.
I think... You know what
the craziest part of this whole...
mess is? Um...
That... I actually like wrestling.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know,
it's like I'm back in my body...
and it doesn't belong to Randy... or Mark.
And, I don't know,
I'm, like, using it for me
and... I feel like a goddamn superhero.
It's such a shit show, you know?
Even if we get all the money we need,
what is this gonna look like?
Crap, probably.
And who knows
if anyone's gonna watch this?
- We are not that good.
- I know, but...
Sometimes I'm so sad
you took away the option of us
ever being able to have
a normal fucking conversation.
♪ The telephone call that tied up the line
For hours and hours ♪
♪ The Saturday dance I got up the nerve
To send you some flowers ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ Mem'ries we've been sharin' ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ When two hearts are carin' ♪
Hey.
- Sam?
- Yeah?
♪ These magic moments filled with love ♪
I didn't recognize you.
Thanks?
- Can I talk to you?
- Yeah.
Just join my, uh... my pity party.
I'd like to toast my mother
for organizing all this.
Ah.
Before I bring her up here,
I'd like to bring up some other powerful,
equally admirable women.
Women who have struggled
with drug addiction.
Women who have found
that showing up at a gym every day
to learn how to wrestle
has kept them sober.
These are the women of WAD.
Wrestlers Against Drugs.
They've come to share their stories.
If you're moved to support them, please,
open your hearts and your checkbooks.
- Thank you.
- For the love of God.
My low point came two months ago,
when I woke up on a bench at the mall,
naked and high.
Then I spent all my money on... the crack.
So, my husband said,
"It's either me or the crack."
I chose the crack.
Crack should be my middle name.
And also my first and my last name.
Eggs, bacon, bangers and mash,
toast, marmite and crack.
I went to three rehabs.
Uh, Hazelden was the best one,
so, you know, you guys...
Now, if you have, like, a...
If you have a fucked-up kid or whatever.
Also, I did a lot of crack.
Crack!
Tell the girls to stop talking
and introduce me.
No, wait. Last one, last one.
I've made a lot of terrible decisions.
Some of them I don't even remember.
I hit rock bottom when I slept
with my friend's husband.
I was really wasted at the time.
But...
the second time I wasn't.
I knew what I was doing.
I was sober and insecure
and I think I was acting out
of this deep well of resentment
I didn't even know I had
and it was just... buried.
And then every...
It all came out and...
fucked up a real friendship.
But then, I found wrestling...
and it saved me.
Coming to the gym every day,
seeing these women struggle
to use their bodies
and learn something new, and we did!
And it's a better feeling than drugs.
Crack, specifically.
Wow. Uh...
Hester, Martin, I... I know we've just met,
but I'm gonna hug you.
Big goof.
Now, that is misappropriation
of solicited funds.
What's your name?
Ruth. Ruth Wilder.
My housekeeper's name is Ruth.
She's wonderful.
She cuts my fruit up into little pieces.
You know, I've always been embarrassed
by Bash's obsession with wrestling.
I've been embarrassed by a lot of things
my son chooses to spend his time doing...
but wrestling always sounded like...
pure trash.
But what you said...
now that is the first time
I have come close
to getting what all the fuss is about.
So...
thank you.
Now, tell me again, what do you need?
- Nine thousand for a venue?
- No.
I'm not giving you any more money.
But we do have a ballroom
at the Hayworth.
- Unless that's too fancy for wrestling.
- No, it's great. It's perfect.
Give me the checks.
- You should hug her.
- No, we don't do that.
I just work on my shit
so fucking long and then, boom.
Someone else gets there first.
I mean, it's like why bother
even trying to make anything
that you really care about?
Because that's what you do.
You're probably the only one
who still cares about my work.
I do.
- And I...
- I'm gonna stop trying, you know?
And just, like, fuck it.
Right?
I mean, it's not about the next thing,
because the next fucking thing
never happens.
It's just about whatever's
in front of you.
You are pretty.
I don't even know if you're over 18.
But I don't care.
- Oh, my God.
- What? Whoa, whoa!
- Oh, my God.
- Honey,
you've been following me like a puppy.
I am your daughter. I'm...
What?
My mother is Rosalie Biagi
from Sacramento.
No.
I never lived in Sacramento.
You were at a Black Panther rally,
you got kicked out, and...
you went to her bar
and you went home with her.
Oh...
Shit.
All right.
So, what the fuck do you want?
Do you want money?
Do you want bone marrow?
- No, I...
- What?
Stop fucking looking at me.
Come on.
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ Memories we've been sharin' ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ When two hearts are carin' ♪
♪ Time can't erase ♪
♪ The memory of ♪
♪ These magic moments ♪
♪ Filled with love ♪
♪ The way that we cheered ♪
♪ Whenever our team
Was scoring a touchdown ♪
♪ The time that the floor fell out
Of my car ♪
♪ When I put the clutch down ♪
♪ The penny arcade
The games that we played ♪
♪ The fun and the prizes ♪
♪ The Halloween hop
When everyone came ♪
♪ In funny disguises ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ Filled with love ♪
www.addic7ed.com
TWA Flight 847,
hijacked five days ago by Shia Muslims,
sits on the tarmac at Beirut Airport.
Today, an exclusive interview
with pilot Captain John Testrake.
- Have you been well-treated?
- Yes.
- Right.
- Are you able to eat
what you want to eat?
Well, uh...
They sometimes bring us airline food
and they sometimes bring us, uh,
Lebanese food,
- and it's different, but it's delicious.
- What's Lebanese food?
- Like, beans or something.
- The food is okay.
Or, like, noodles with spices, I think.
The bathroom on that plane
has to be disgusting by now.
There's no one else on board.
They took everyone off and hid them
in... What's it called?
- Hezbollah.
- They're in Beirut.
- The city's called Beirut.
- It's Hezbollah.
Hezbollah's a group of people.
This is a city,
and the city is Beirut.
Can we all just stop saying that word?
Any messages for your families?
Sorry.
Hi, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had my own hostage situation here.
Those hijackers have nothing
on this little terrorist.
I will be back at five.
Don't make me wait, Mark.
- Are you taking off?
- I have practice in an hour.
It's in an hour.
I could have three meals in an hour.
Um, well... I am not staying for you.
The hotel has no food,
and I need to carbo-load.
- I'm just gonna use my hands.
- She's gonna go for it. Oh...
Look what Mommy's doing.
- That's scary. Mommy's scary.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, of course, you're perfect now.
- Look at her go.
The 39 Americans held hostage
for 17 days by terrorists in Lebanon
are free, safe, and at this moment,
on their way to Frankfurt...
Too bad that whole thing is over.
It was a ratings bonanza.
Mm.
Is that the lineup?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Look, here's GLOW.
Right between Dr. Gene Scott
and a new animated show
called Miyamoto Musashi.
Ah. Between a nutjob televangelist
and an oriental cartoon.
You'd be surprised.
It's a great slot.
Right.
Well, we, uh... We just have a few notes.
Overall, extremely positive.
Just a few concerns.
Specifically, the, uh...
The colorful language and the KKK.
Oh, really?
You didn't like that one, Glen?
Well, uh... Ah!
- Yeah.
- I'll tell you what I did love:
The two black girls. We want more of them.
Oh, sure you do.
Socially beneficial programming,
part of our mission.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
Please continue.
- We were just talking about the KKK.
- Yes, of course.
Have you guys, uh, determined
a filming location yet?
- You don't know where you're filming?
- No, no. No.
We have a great venue picked out.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
But maybe KDTV has an extra studio
- as an alternative.
- Mr. Howard,
we were very explicit about this.
We provide the cameras and the airwaves,
you provide everything else.
That's part of the reason
we agreed to do this project.
Right. Sorry.
First-time producer jitters and all that.
Yeah.
Well, I'm very excited, guys. All right?
We'll talk soon.
- Sam.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay. All right, Bash.
- Okay.
- Talk to you later.
- That went well.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
Where the hell have you been
for two weeks?
Well, I started
at the Redondo Fun Factory.
I got the high score on Burger Time,
then I was in a little beach shack
and I met this guy Raúl
who makes tequila...
I don't need your travel itinerary,
I need $9,000 so I don't lose the venue.
There's no money.
Birdie cut me off, okay?
I've got nothing.
I had a few thousand
which I tried to turn at the racetrack,
but then "Pyrrhic Victory"
came in fucking seventh.
Well, what about GLOW?
What about my movie?
We had an agreement, man.
I know. And I'm sorry, Sam.
You're the fuckin' producer.
You're a human checkbook.
And if you're not that,
you're just some overeager fanboy
who's sold 14 women
on some crazy fuckin' pipe dream.
I'm gonna get it together.
It's not over yet.
When there's no more money, it's over.
So, we're canceled.
Well, technically,
you can't really be canceled
if you haven't aired.
But we're on hiatus.
Open-ended.
- Should we start looking for other jobs?
- Well, do what you gotta do, but...
yeah, probably.
Okay, this is bullshit, Sam.
We've all worked really hard.
I don't even talk to my dad anymore.
That's how bad I wanna do this.
Do you guys know how many plays I've done
with no budget,
where we've had to build every prop,
every piece of scenery?
I did a version of Peter Pan
where we couldn't afford a flying rig,
so two stage hands carried me around
for three hours.
- How much do we need?
- Yeah.
$9,000.
- What the fuck?
- Shit.
No, please.
No, we can make that in our sleep.
- Charge people to watch us sleep?
- No. We fundraise.
- Shake the trees.
- We should do a car wash.
Yes! It's LA. Everybody has a car.
We can wear bikini tops and pretend
to fawn over engine size and horsepower.
- Eh.
- No, trust me.
In college,
my sorority raised thousands of dollars
for world hunger.
We used that money to remodel the deck.
So, all I had to do to get you over
to the house was freeze your trust.
Heh.
I'll remember that.
Oh, hand me my readers.
What's with the seating chart?
Lily getting remarried?
Very funny. No, your sister
left the Persian months ago.
I'm having a fund-raiser
for Nancy's Just Say No campaign.
I sent you the details.
- Mm-hmm.
- This calligraphy is terrible.
- So modern.
- Yeah, well, it's a lot to produce.
You have a lot of people counting on you
to spell their names correctly...
and seat them and feed them.
What do you want?
I'm requesting a thaw.
No.
You have spent hundreds of thousands
of dollars in less than three months.
Unless you're running for office,
I can't possibly imagine
where all the money has gone.
I'm producing a women's wrestling show
for KDTV.
Yes, it's real.
It's the first time I've put your money
into something I care about.
And I just need 9,000 more dollars
so I can finish what I started.
Come on, Birdie! Just say yes.
- That's off-message.
- Think of it like an investment.
An opportunity to get in
on the ground floor
of a really exciting new venture.
I don't have any specs,
but I can get you a business plan.
Know what, why don't you come down
to the gym and see it for yourself?
Come on down to that worthless property
that you can't even get insured,
because, hey, it's on a fault line.
Another wise decision.
Consider it a loan.
Cut me a check and I'll pay you back.
Since when do we talk
so openly about money?
What, are we Jews?
Mom, I got a lot of people counting on me.
This is important.
And keeping poor black children
off of crack is very important to me.
I expect you at that party on time.
I also need you to introduce me,
since Bill Buckley canceled.
He claims he's on a deadline,
but he's probably just...
wandering around his house,
fiddling with his harpsichord.
Hi! Welcome to the car wash!
How are you? So it's $10 for a hand-wash,
$20 for interior work.
- I'll do $20.
- Okay.
Hi.
- Thank you.
- Thank you!
Oh, are these nail clippings?
Maybe they're Fritos.
Yeah?
Do you really think
the show might go away?
Like, we'd all never see each other again?
It's not sleep-away camp,
I mean, it's... It's a job.
All jobs are a crapshoot. Get used to it.
What?
Did you steal more of my shit?
- I did not invite you.
- I wanted to support women's sports.
They gave me a new parking spot at work.
My car's filthy. It's under a fig tree.
Well, you'll have to pay double.
For the fig juice.
Okay.
Um, I'll be right back.
I'm just gonna go get a soda.
So, that's the guy?
In the Beemer right there?
Yep.
Not what I expected.
You were expecting what? Sean Penn?
No, just someone less
like a giant Cabbage Patch Kid.
I mean, I'm better-looking
than that idiot.
I'm a sucker for non-threatening,
unavailable men who compliment me.
Ugh. I got soap in my eyes.
- Why aren't you out there helping?
- Uh...
I don't look good in a bikini.
Yet.
Hello.
Oh. Uh...
Baby, phone call.
Who is it?
I don't know, some chick named Mallory.
Cherry Bang?
Yeah.
That can't possibly be your real name.
I'm sorry, do I know you?
Got your name
from Glen Klitnick.
They're developing a show
called Chambers and Gold,
it's essentially Cagney & Lacey,
but with a black girl and a Jew.
Anyway, we'd like to bring you in.
Seriously?
If you want the sides,
come down to my office.
The audition is tomorrow. 6464 Sunset.
What was that?
Think I just got an audition.
Don't eat cantaloupe.
Oh, hey.
It's the Little Match Girl.
- You don't look poor.
- He's not poor. He's broke.
There's a difference.
Sam, can we go talk for a sec?
Whatever you gotta say,
you can say it in front of the girls.
Well, I spoke to my mother...
and I tried, I begged.
- Wasn't easy.
- It "wasn't easy"?
We cleaned dead skin out of upholstery
to try and keep this thing afloat.
Really?
Well, how much did you make?
Two hundred and eighty-seven dollars.
That's it?
I haven't counted the change yet.
So we'll have another car wash.
We'll do a car wash every day
until we raise enough money,
until every car in this state is shining.
- Because we have to do something.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we'll step up our game this time.
And go topless.
My mom's having a fund-raiser.
- For women's wrestling?
- It doesn't matter what it's for,
it's a room full of rich people
with open checkbooks.
If we crash it, I bet we can walk out
of there with something.
We... Do we get to dress up?
- Hi, Sam.
- Good evening.
Why are you all dressed
like fancy Mormons?
Bash said to look conservative.
We didn't have a lot of options.
Mm.
Hey, Gary. What a turnout tonight, huh?
I'm sorry, Sebastian,
you're on the list plus one, not 20.
No, no, no. These are the... the girls.
The former drug addicts?
- From WAD?
- What? WAD?
Uh, WAD. Wrestlers Against Drugs.
- They're not on the list.
- 'Cause they're speakers, Gary.
They've turned their lives around
through commitment
to fitness and wrestling.
For God's sakes, this young lady,
two months ago,
she was selling her body for crack.
Now she's training every day,
living in a halfway house.
She came here tonight to tell her story.
- Yeah, I...
- Through a translator,
because she doesn't speak English.
- Just don't touch anything.
- Okay.
Please don't mingle,
don't talk to anybody. Steal nothing.
Hi.
I'm their drug counselor.
- Sir.
- Choose life.
I did.
Well, I believe in 1986, we're
not only gonna keep control of the Senate,
we're gonna break that liberal choke hold
on the House, too.
You see, Birdie? "The liberal choke hold."
- You do like wrestling.
- Ah. Hello, sweetheart.
Aw.
Ooh, you smell nice!
I'm Debbie Eagan. I'm a friend of Bash's.
Oh.
- You certainly wear a lot of makeup.
- Oh, thank you...
This is such bullshit.
Fighting the drug war
while they get loaded on Kir Royales.
Fucking white, right-wing idiots.
Someone's grumpier than usual.
We lost the venue.
- The lady just called me an hour ago.
- Shit.
So, now I'm here to drink
and not be alone
before I never see any of you again.
Jesus, we'll find another venue.
Come on. We may be down,
but we're not out.
You're, like, half-Pollyanna,
half-Vince Lombardi.
What can I say? I love a Hail Mary.
I'm gonna charm old people.
Are you gonna be okay?
I'm not a child. I'll be fine.
All right.
Come back, play more Brubeck,
then get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, man.
Got any blow?
No. We don't.
You want some?
Man.
Two more of these Beverly Hills parties,
and we can get studio time.
Gotta do the gigs
so you can make shit you want.
I've been making this wrestling TV show
just so I can fund my next movie.
Huh. No shit.
Yeah. Well...
I've been working on it
for, like, ten years, man. Ten years.
Mm.
It's a semi-autobiographical,
psycho-sexual, time-travel drama.
What does that mean?
All right, I'll tell ya.
It's about a boy, this all-American kid,
can't stop jerking off to fantasies
about having sex with his mother.
Right. It makes him hate himself.
Right? So, he builds a time machine
to go into the future
where she's old and hideous
so he can escape his Oedipal impulses.
But... All right?
Here's the "but."
He puts the wrong date in the machine,
and he goes back in time instead
to the 1950s,
where she's just a horny teenager,
and she spends the rest of the movie
just trying to fuck him instead
of his dad.
Lookit, I've seen that movie.
No, you haven't. I haven't made it.
It's called Mothers and Lovers.
Nah. Nah, bro,
it's called Back to the Future.
Right, okay, so, you saw a movie
about a guy who goes back in time
and almost has sex with his mother?
Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, man. Just opened.
- It's... It's fucking funny, too.
- Yeah, people fucking loved it.
- You're serious?
Dead serious.
It's hilarious.
Fuck!
- Hello, sir.
- Oh, wait.
We're sober.
I live in a halfway house, remember?
Yeah, okay, but what if
I fall off the wagon right now
and then I sober up
by the end of the party?
- No.
- We're going to the bar right after this.
Here's what I've learned:
I really like candelabra sconces.
And I've learned don't look directly
into Bash's mom's eyes.
Look, I know that Mark has been...
Popping up a lot lately?
Yeah. And I just...
I appreciate you
just getting the fuck out of the way.
It's one less minefield.
He wants to work things out.
He wants me to come home and try.
Go to therapy.
So, are you going to? What about the show?
I don't know, okay?
I mean,
we might not even have a show. So...
Well, you'll get something else.
You always have.
I think... You know what
the craziest part of this whole...
mess is? Um...
That... I actually like wrestling.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know,
it's like I'm back in my body...
and it doesn't belong to Randy... or Mark.
And, I don't know,
I'm, like, using it for me
and... I feel like a goddamn superhero.
It's such a shit show, you know?
Even if we get all the money we need,
what is this gonna look like?
Crap, probably.
And who knows
if anyone's gonna watch this?
- We are not that good.
- I know, but...
Sometimes I'm so sad
you took away the option of us
ever being able to have
a normal fucking conversation.
♪ The telephone call that tied up the line
For hours and hours ♪
♪ The Saturday dance I got up the nerve
To send you some flowers ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ Mem'ries we've been sharin' ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ When two hearts are carin' ♪
Hey.
- Sam?
- Yeah?
♪ These magic moments filled with love ♪
I didn't recognize you.
Thanks?
- Can I talk to you?
- Yeah.
Just join my, uh... my pity party.
I'd like to toast my mother
for organizing all this.
Ah.
Before I bring her up here,
I'd like to bring up some other powerful,
equally admirable women.
Women who have struggled
with drug addiction.
Women who have found
that showing up at a gym every day
to learn how to wrestle
has kept them sober.
These are the women of WAD.
Wrestlers Against Drugs.
They've come to share their stories.
If you're moved to support them, please,
open your hearts and your checkbooks.
- Thank you.
- For the love of God.
My low point came two months ago,
when I woke up on a bench at the mall,
naked and high.
Then I spent all my money on... the crack.
So, my husband said,
"It's either me or the crack."
I chose the crack.
Crack should be my middle name.
And also my first and my last name.
Eggs, bacon, bangers and mash,
toast, marmite and crack.
I went to three rehabs.
Uh, Hazelden was the best one,
so, you know, you guys...
Now, if you have, like, a...
If you have a fucked-up kid or whatever.
Also, I did a lot of crack.
Crack!
Tell the girls to stop talking
and introduce me.
No, wait. Last one, last one.
I've made a lot of terrible decisions.
Some of them I don't even remember.
I hit rock bottom when I slept
with my friend's husband.
I was really wasted at the time.
But...
the second time I wasn't.
I knew what I was doing.
I was sober and insecure
and I think I was acting out
of this deep well of resentment
I didn't even know I had
and it was just... buried.
And then every...
It all came out and...
fucked up a real friendship.
But then, I found wrestling...
and it saved me.
Coming to the gym every day,
seeing these women struggle
to use their bodies
and learn something new, and we did!
And it's a better feeling than drugs.
Crack, specifically.
Wow. Uh...
Hester, Martin, I... I know we've just met,
but I'm gonna hug you.
Big goof.
Now, that is misappropriation
of solicited funds.
What's your name?
Ruth. Ruth Wilder.
My housekeeper's name is Ruth.
She's wonderful.
She cuts my fruit up into little pieces.
You know, I've always been embarrassed
by Bash's obsession with wrestling.
I've been embarrassed by a lot of things
my son chooses to spend his time doing...
but wrestling always sounded like...
pure trash.
But what you said...
now that is the first time
I have come close
to getting what all the fuss is about.
So...
thank you.
Now, tell me again, what do you need?
- Nine thousand for a venue?
- No.
I'm not giving you any more money.
But we do have a ballroom
at the Hayworth.
- Unless that's too fancy for wrestling.
- No, it's great. It's perfect.
Give me the checks.
- You should hug her.
- No, we don't do that.
I just work on my shit
so fucking long and then, boom.
Someone else gets there first.
I mean, it's like why bother
even trying to make anything
that you really care about?
Because that's what you do.
You're probably the only one
who still cares about my work.
I do.
- And I...
- I'm gonna stop trying, you know?
And just, like, fuck it.
Right?
I mean, it's not about the next thing,
because the next fucking thing
never happens.
It's just about whatever's
in front of you.
You are pretty.
I don't even know if you're over 18.
But I don't care.
- Oh, my God.
- What? Whoa, whoa!
- Oh, my God.
- Honey,
you've been following me like a puppy.
I am your daughter. I'm...
What?
My mother is Rosalie Biagi
from Sacramento.
No.
I never lived in Sacramento.
You were at a Black Panther rally,
you got kicked out, and...
you went to her bar
and you went home with her.
Oh...
Shit.
All right.
So, what the fuck do you want?
Do you want money?
Do you want bone marrow?
- No, I...
- What?
Stop fucking looking at me.
Come on.
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ Memories we've been sharin' ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ When two hearts are carin' ♪
♪ Time can't erase ♪
♪ The memory of ♪
♪ These magic moments ♪
♪ Filled with love ♪
♪ The way that we cheered ♪
♪ Whenever our team
Was scoring a touchdown ♪
♪ The time that the floor fell out
Of my car ♪
♪ When I put the clutch down ♪
♪ The penny arcade
The games that we played ♪
♪ The fun and the prizes ♪
♪ The Halloween hop
When everyone came ♪
♪ In funny disguises ♪
♪ Magic moments ♪
♪ Filled with love ♪