Future Man (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - A Riphole in Time - full transcript

Previously on Future Man...

I hate to tell you this,

but you might have
an unhealthy obsession

- with this video game.
- No, I don't, Ray!

That's enough, Dr. Camillo.

I'm... I'm sorry, Dr. Kronish.

If you want to keep working for me,

I suggest less tonguelashing

and more urethraswabbing.

Now off you go, swab, swab.

And there's nothing weird about



living in your childhood home.

This is my childhood home
and I live here.

This is a Futterman house.

We're not killing Kronish!

The mission is to stop him
from getting herpes,

prevent him from becoming a scientist,

and then he never creates the cure.

I won a danceoff.

Black apple?

I'm the savior.

Fuck me.

Okay, we're clear.

Is everyone here?

Quick roll call.



Cheetah, Mongoose,

Falcon, Skunk,

Eagle, Panther, Bear,

Fox, Dolphin, Beetle,

Ferret, Alligator,

Hedgehog, Wasp,

Dingo, Mouse,

Weasel, Monkey,

Gorilla, Lemur,

Moose, Coyote,

Worm, Mantis, Spider,

Cougar, Muskrat, Hyena,

Bison, Meerkat, Wildebeest,

Boar, Porcupine, Bat,

Hawk, Zebra, Gopher,

Rabbit, and Wolf.

Okay.

Through this tunnel lies the TTD

and a path to our savior.

This is it. We're humanity's last hope.

Even you, Worm.

And guess what?

When we get to 2017,

it's time to share the sugar.

- Woo!
- Yeah, yeah!

You're God damn right
I brought it with me.

We're slicing this bad boy into 45ths.

All right, everybody.

Follow me.

Weapons hot.

Wolf, you ready?

Let's blow some shit up.

On my lead.

Resistance now!

Resistance forever!

Thermal wire.

Diametric chloride.

Run!

Come on! No, no, no.

That gas means death.

Eagle!

No!

Run!

I can't...

God damn it, this zipper's, like...

messed up.

Can I get a little help?

It's jammed.

See? It's jammed.

It's jammed.

God damn it! It always happens to me.

Why are we doing this,
don't you live here?

Yes, I do live here,

but I don't know if my parents
are downstairs or not

so I have to go check.

You guys just stay here,

try not to make any noise,

and then, don't touch anything.

Where the fuck is my phone?

Whoa.

- Guys.
- Hi sweetie.

II thought you were doing...
thethe beach cleanup today.

We are, just forgot my poker.

They like it when you bring
your own equipment.

Check out my "poker face."

Come on, son, that kills
down at the beach.

What... why is there a gun on the wall?

What do you mean,
we've always had a gun.

This is a Futterman house.

Are you okay, honey?

We can cancel.

No, no, no, no!

No, I... I was just trying to remember

when did you get that classy wall mount?

That's the same one your grandpa put up.

I just gave it a little oil.

Grandpa was a gun guy?

Hard not to be after
those hooligans broke in here

the night of the moon landing.

You know that story.

Three of them.

I'll never forget their faces.

- You won't?
- Couple of little Latino fellas.

Vagrants.

Well, two of them were vagrants,

third one was a child, scared,

like he didn't want to be there.

Anyway, right after that,
Grandpa went out

and got the old Ithaca 37.

Thank God we never had to use it.

I'm not even sure how it works.

Hope it's not loaded.

Hey, we better get going.

Um...

Lamar, how long is it gonna take

to get to Santa Monica Pier?

The traffic is moderate.

So I'm estimating 40 minutes.

- Okay, thanks, Lamar.
- Lamar?

Honey, you don't have to thank it.

It's not an "it," it's Lamar Price.

No.

Hey, Mom, can I see that for just a...

Thank you.

Blackapple?

It's a Blapple.

Only old people call it a Blackapple.

You told us that.

Fuck.

That's where I left my phone.

Honey, are you sure that you're okay?

Yeah, yeah, I am, I'm fine.

Um, you guys should probably get goin'.

Let's go, honey, those sandy condoms

aren't gonna pick themselves up.

Nope, they're not... all right, bye!

Bye!

Well, we changed stuff,

just not the stuff we want...

Jesus fucking Christ!

Hey, where are you goin'?

Do you guys want some privacy?

No, we're just chargin' up.

This is just something
that people typically do

in private.

Why?

Because you do it with someone

who means something to you.

- Don't stop.
- Okay,

I'm just gonna try
and talk through this.

Um, so basically we didn't stop
Kronish from getting herpes,

however, we did change things.

Talking major ripples.

Ripples?

Ripples, ripples.

What we did in 1969

has had an effect on the present day,

like my dad now owns a gun,

and is also a little bit racist

and it's probably my fault

that this is now called a blaptop.

Can you please stop, please?

I can't, I'm not fully charged yet.

Charged for what?

It's a standard operating procedure

to release tension.

Two micrometers down to the left.

Nice work, soldier.

Fully charged in three, two, one.

Yeah, fuck yeah, soldier!

That is how you perform!

Yes, fuck yes!

All right, tension released.

Ready to kill.

Kill, what?

Kronish. It's our only option.

We tried it your way and we failed.

Miserably.

No, no, no, no, you
can't murder Kronish,

he hasn't done anything wrong yet.

That's the whole point
of Minority Report.

I'm unfamiliar with that report.

Do you need to be reminded
of what's at stake here?

He's the father of these mutants.

How can you look at that
and not feel outrage?

Also, why the fuck do you even have

this tiny Biotic?

This is one man versus
the fate of humanity.

We're going to the lab
and we kill Kronish.

Whoa, you... you need all of
that to kill one man?

Well, obviously a lot of
other people are gonna die

to get to that one man.

Casualties of war.

Better them than us.

You know this is the only way.

No, no, there has to be another way.

These are not Biotics.

These are people that I work with.

Can you get us close to him?

If you can isolate him,
then no one else has to get hurt.

Sorry, being the savior doesn't mean

you get to save everyone.

Can you get us in the building?

Not without creating a huge scene.

And there's three layers of security.

I've got a badge and I
can only get through two.

Okay, then your job is simple.

You just need to lure Kronish out there

and then it's up to you
whether you watch us kill him.

You should watch.

We're gonna turn him
into a puddle of guts.

Now go in there and make
the Resistance proud,

Future Man.

This is a bad plan, Tiger.

I got enough sensor
mines to drop this building.

Look how weak those defenses are.

I mean, where's the moat?

You see any radioactive alligators?

- I don't.
- No, we need a confirmed kill.

I didn't travel through time
to keep picking through

piles of rubble for body parts.

Now let's get into position.

Future Man should be out in...

less than three fingers.

- Let's go.
- All right.

Morning, Josh.

Hey Carl, hey...

Hey, wait, where... where's Ray?

Who's Ray?

Fuck, I made Ray disappear.

God damn ripples.

Um, can I help you?

Yeah, is... is Kronish in there?

Well, he's not in
Dr. Camillo's office, no.

They're still at their
partners' breakfast.

Partners, how the fuck did I do that?

How did you do what?

Sorry, are you okay?

Yeah, it's just...

have you ever had one of those days

where you wake up and the
whole world is recognizable,

but also really different?

You mean like in Freaky Friday

or a Matrix-type situation?

No, more like the end
of Back to the Future.

So it's like an alternate reality.

Your parents are super cool,

and all of a sudden you have
this awesome new truck

- in your garage?
- Sort of,

or, like, Steve Jobs doesn't exist.

Who?

Exactly.

Don't you think that movie,
like, really undersold

how hard it would have been

for Marty to come back to a life

that he never lived?

Guess I never thought
about it like that.

I just really wanted
that Barbie Hoverport.

My God.

Really wanted it.

He would have to fake his way

through every conversation
for the rest of his life.

Well, lucky for you this is actually

the first conversation
that we've ever had,

so you don't have to fake
your way through this.

Yeah.

I'm Josh, by the way.

I know.

You do?

Please, Stu, I beg you,
don't make me do this.

These... these focus groups
can be humiliating.

Buck up, Elias,
it's good for the company.

Unless you're not a company man.

I am, Stu, but you know
I've never been a showman.

I... I hate being
the center of attention.

You're not gonna be
the center of attention.

That little mini lasagna on your lip is.

What are you looking at, butthead?

There's your Biff.

Yeah.

Dr. Kronish,

can I ask you a question?

How in the hell did you get herpes?

Well, it started the night
of the moon landing.

Being totally humiliated
after losing a danceoff,

I was summarily
run out of my fraternity.

I tried to regain my confidence

by embarking on a sexual odyssey

across several continents,

and, well...

countless partners.

I'm pretty sure that's how I got herpes.

Yeah.

Um, Dr. Kronish, I,

I need to show you something outside.

What is it?

It's a surprise.

Ooh, I love surprises.

Great, you want to come with me?

Look, let me ask you something.

Will it be chilly
where you're taking me?

Pretty chilly.

Will we be gone long?

Yeah, a long time.

Stop, stop what you're doing.

I... I can't do this.

Take... take off your coat.

What's it gonna be?

Your life is in danger, okay?

So coat or no coat?

No, listen to me, Dr. Kronish.

There are people who want you dead.

You have to get out of
here, you have to hide.

I can't protect you.

You're talking about

those animal rights people.

They've been after me for years.

I must be nearing 20,000 death threats.

Really?

Do you have any idea
how many possums we kill

at this facility annually?

Staggering numbers.

No, Dr. Kronish, this is much worse.

These people are trained killers,

and they don't like you,
and they don't like your research,

and they'll do anything they can

to prevent it from getting out there.

You have to disappear.

I could never do that, Futterman.

My work is too important.

What good is your work...

if you're dead?

I appreciate your concern.

And if you're all that worried,

um!

Call that number.

They handle all my death threats.

Ask for Carol.

It's been, like, six and a half fingers.

We both know the savior's not coming.

Let's just blow up the building.

No.

We're gonna have to do this ourselves.

Up close and personal.

Okay everybody!
We're gonna go inside now for

the focus group. So please
form a single file line right here.

Ratpot.

You.

What is the nature of this formation?

We're here for the focus group.

Didn't you get one of these?

Double ratpot.

Kronish!

Hey!

Fleetwood Mac.

Back of the line.

You want to bleed, jester?

- Hey, hey.
- Back of the line.

Save it.

Low profile.

Oral, genital, even anal,

they call it herpes simplex,

but there's nothing simple about it.

Um, I'm Dr. Elias Kronish,

and I'm seeking the cure for you...

and for me.

Thoughts, feelings?

That's the third one of these in a row.

I can't take it anymore...
we're in the building,

let's just go find the motherfucker

- and kill him.
- No.

Watching it made me uncomfortable,

I think because he was uncomfortable.

Kronish will be here, Cindy promised.

I don't trust Cindy.

She's smiling, but she has sad eyes.

Yeah.

Anyone else have
thoughts on Dr. Kronish?

I despise him and
everything he stands for.

That's the third time
you've said that, noted.

I'd like him better if he died.

Okay.

Anyone else want to see Dr. Kronish die?

Yes.

Well...

You said Kronish was gonna be here.

Where is he, Cindy?

Again, Dr. Kronish is very busy.

Why don't we take a look at our next ad?

Just want to say in advance,

no possums were hurt
in the making of this.

The sound you just heard

is a possum ejaculating.

Let's just blow up the fucking building.

Take out Kronish
and the rest of this trash.

Okay, I'm just gonna have
you all fill out this form.

This is some fucking shit.

You know, we're in the building,

let's just go.

- Brilliant idea, commander.
- Wolf.

No, no, no.

No one leaves.

Really?

You're gonna stop us, Cindy?

You want to do that?

Where did they go?

Shit.

- What happened?
- They promised they'd do

a better job screening
who comes to these things.

No.

Where'd they go?

Get it out!

- Ooh!
- Ooh!

- Jeri.
- Josh.

What... where are you going?

Where are you going?

I'm looking for two people.

Yeah, so am I,
Dr. Smith and Dr. Apoyngo.

Have they gone missing?

Missing, no, they're
just late for a demo.

Okay, they're on three, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Don't be dead, Apoyngo.

Don't be dead, Apoyngo,
don't be dead, Apoyngo.

Don't be dead, Apoyngo.

Help! We're in here!

What happened?

Good to greet you.

Good to greet you.

Good to greet you.

Good to greet you.

Those whitecoats we stole
from don't have access

to the inner sanctum.

We'll find another way in.

Dr. Wolf.

I'm telling you, Kronish is upstairs.

High value targets are always

in the subterranean bunkers.

I don't think it works that way here.

It's not your job to think,

it's your job to take orders from me.

This place isn't built for defense.

This is the first weapon I've seen,

and it's mounted on
the wall for decoration.

- Tiger, my instincts...
- Fuck your instincts.

Valdor's Palace, where was Valdor?

In the underground catacombs.

Temple of Gooliga, where was Gooliga?

In the Gooligorium.

And where is that?

By the earth's core.

Doesn't get more underground than that,

now does it, Wolfie?

Jesus.

Trust me.

This is the way to Kronish.

F...

Goddammit.

Wolf.

You've been underestimating me

since day fucking one.

I have ideas,

some of 'em are even good.

I planned a mission

and then it went sideways.

Then it went upside down.

I am flying blind,

sideways, and upside down,

so give me a fucking break.

But you're not doin' it alone.

When we busted through the Blood Gates,

who was by your side?

When they set us on fire

in the Death Fields of Alamore,

who found that sewage reservoir

for us to jump into?

When Cobra turned

and tried to poison you in your sleep...

who pulled that
fuckin' traitor's head off?

Mongoose.

No.

Wolf.

I've given you my life

because I trust you,

and the least you can do
is just listen to me

once in a while.

Okay.

What's our next move, soldier?

So we blast back in there,

find which office Kronish is in,

post up on that roof,

and take him out with a Sniper Sonic.

The sound waves will pass
right through the glass

and just pop his fuckin' head off.

Nice and clean.

All right. Three, two, one.

God, don't shoot!

- Fuckin' dick.
- What the fuck, buddy.

What the fuck got into you people?

Where's Kronish?

You were supposed to be
here ten fingers ago.

He doesn't have him... I knew it.

Fuckin' aborted the mission.

No, you don't know that.

Maybe he just couldn't find him.

No, yeah, Wolf's right,

I... I aborted.

- Goddammit, Future Man.
- God fucking...

No!

I... I got there in front of him,

and I looked into his eyes, and...

I just couldn't do it, okay?

I'm not like you guys,
I'm not a murderer.

We aren't murderers either.

We're soldiers.

You think we like killing people?

- You sure seem to.
- Well, we don't.

We kill because we have to,
not because we... we like it.

Well...

And it takes a toll, okay?

I scream in my sleep.

But our feelings don't matter
'cause we're on a mission,

so unless you can give me
one strategic reason

not to kill this man,

we have no choice.

Okay, what if... what if I went in there

and talked to him, and I got you one?

A reason not to kill him?

You could do that?

Yeah, I... I think so.

Yeah, you could go in
there to the basement

and find out what we need to know?

Basement... he's... he's
in the top floor.

Yes!

- All right.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- I'm on it.

All right, we'll be
waiting for you, Future Man.

Okay.

What the fuck was that?

I watch you sleep.

You've never screamed once.

I planted a tracker on him.

He'll lead us right to Kronish.

Dr. Kronish!

You need to abandon
all of your research.

What are you talking about?

This is an historic day.

You inspired me to do something

I've been wanting to do for years.

What did you do?

You really got me thinking earlier.

I may not be in
the assassin's crosshairs,

but I'm not a young man.

I could go any day.

Danger's all around me.

I don't understand.

The cure for herpes shouldn't
be ours to profit from.

It should be the world's to heal by.

So, I've made all my research public,

shared it with a global
network of colleagues.

You put the cure out to the world?

With the combined brainpower

of the global scientific community,

the cure for herpes
won't be my creation,

it'll be all of ours.

So strategically speaking,

if somebody wanted to stop the cure

from ever existing,

murdering you would have zero effect?

The cure for herpes
would still get out there?

A morbid way to put it, but yes.

And thanks to you.

Well, the cure could
come from France, Nigeria,

Spain, China, literally from anywhere.

Thank God.

That's amazing news.

- You get to live!
- Dr. Camillo won't be happy.

I've, I've given away

quite a bit of proprietary material.

But it feels good.

For the first time in a long time,

I feel alive!

Future Man's trying to signal us.

Signal to him to get out of the way.

- What the fuck?
- Out of the fucking way.

Fire a warning shot.

- What the fuck?
- Shit!

- We gotta... here!
- That thing went...

We can hide behind it, okay?

What are you doing?

What the fuck is he doing?

Here, hide, go, go. Get behind this.

Get behind this one.

He protecting Kronish.

You're gonna have to kill him too.

I have to get you out
of this building, okay?

What's going...

Shit!

What are you...

What the hell?

Okay, you want to play games?

What are you doing? Futterman!

- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Switching to thermal.

What the hell? Where are you...

We have to get out of
here right now. Okay?

I've got Kronish.

Take the shot.

Go, go, go!

Get your hands off of me!

Time to die, Dr. Death.

- What the shit are you into?
- Go, go, go, go, go.

What... what was that shit about?

What the fuck were you thinking, Elias?

- Do you know what you've done?
- Stu!

You have buried this company.

You have killed us all.

Now, Stu, Stu,

it was all about doing
right by humanity.

- Fuck humanity.
- Okay, you know what?

You guys just hash this out,

stay away from windows, okay?

All right, bye.

What the fuck?

Are those Biotics?

Hey.

Back stab!

Reach around.

Clear!

Clear.

What... what... what
are they doing here?

It was only a matter of
time before they found us.

My God.

My God, they...
these are real life Biotics.

They were Biotics.

They're even more grosser in real life.

Yeah.

That's right, you've never seen one.

- No.
- Up close and personal.

Yeah, well.

Take a look at this monster.

Wait, that's Carl.

He's a security guard here.

Yeah, well, Carl's a fuckin' Biotic.

But he's worked here for years.

He's my Secret Santa.

He gave me an iPod Shuffle.

- He's human.
- Yeah.

Biotics are human.

See?

But that... that's what'shername

from Accounting.

I know these people,

I... I work with them.

Of course you do.

Biotics can be anybody.

That's what makes this so fucked up.

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www.addic7ed.com