Futurama (1999–2013): Season 6, Episode 15 - Benderama - full transcript
Professor invents a device that creates two half-sized duplicates of any object. Bender uses this device to create copies of himself, so he doesn't have to work, but things quickly get out of control.
♪ ♪
So there it is, people.
Due to budget cutbacks,
we will no longer be offering
free squid guts in the kitchen.
(Sobbing)
Oh, boo-hoo.
Everyone, look
at my latest invention!
Okay.
I like how it's not
killing us so far.
It takes any object
and makes two smaller copies.
Ooh! All right!
Why?
You see, as I age,
I've been shrinking
and feeling colder.
So I now need twice
as many sweaters,
in a smaller size.
First I scan the old sweater.
Then we add some matter.
Any old useless matter will do.
(Buzzing)
Now the matter prism
reorganizes the raw material
into two smaller copies.
(Bell dings)
So that's
where baby sweaters come from.
(Theme music plays on tv)
Narrator:
Enclosed as a pdf attachment:
A picture of yourself,
in a boat, on a river.
It's a river that flows
in two directions.
Make that three.
It's a magic river, that's how.
And it's flowing down
the eerie canal to...
The scary door.
That's "eerie" with two e's.
Consider,
if you have the energy,
Dr. Daniel zenus, an inventor
with a terminal case
of "the lazies."
This robot
will do everything for me.
Robot, activate yourself
and do my research.
(Whirring, footfalls crashing)
Ah...
(Ticking)
Dr. Zenus,
for a lifetime of
scientific achievement,
we present this award to...
Your robot.
Daddy, I love you.
(Sobbing)
If only I'd programmed the robot
to be more careful
what I wished for.
Robot, experience
this tragic irony for me.
No!
Ah...
Ah...
Man, I wish we had
a robot to do stuff.
I know, right?
(Door opens)
Bender, thank God I
found you in time.
I need someone
in the lab immediately,
to fold my new sweaters.
I'm sorry, do you see a robot
in this room named "folder"?
(Laughing)
Oh, fortunately, I came prepared
with a back-up phrasing.
Bender, would you mind
"bending" my new sweaters?
There's only two of them.
Wait. Oh.
You want me to do two things?
Man, I'd call my lawyer
if dialing a phone
wasn't such a hassle.
Razza frazza two things.
Ooh. Razza frazza duplicator.
(Beeps)
(Chuckles)
Now for some tasty matter.
(Chomping)
(Crashing)
(Chomping)
(Buzzing, bell dings)
Howdy, fellas.
I'm Bender.
Go to hell, old man!
I like your attitude.
Let's party.
But first,
fold these two sweaters.
Both:
I'm sorry, do you see a robot
in this room named "folder"?
(Both laughing)
Damn, you're cute.
♪ ♪
(Clattering)
Hi. I'm Bender.
This is my robot Bender,
and this is
my other robot Bender.
Oh, lord.
They're 60%
scale replicas of me, Bender.
Does that mean they only do
60% of the work you do,
or that they actually
do more work
because they're
only 60% as lazy?
(Muttering indistinctly)
Shut up.
(Benders laughing)
That's a good one.
Enough good ones, everyone.
We have a delivery to
an alien space giant.
You'll have to be respectful.
This customer is 50 feet tall
and sensitive
about his appearance.
Colossal tooth whitener,
mega deodorant,
humungous acne cream...
Aw, and one
regular-sized condom.
All that and a small wiener?
This guy's got it goin' on!
(Benders laughing)
Remember, don't show
any reaction to his appearance.
(Leela screams)
I hope that's vanishing cream,
'cause that needs to go away.
(Laughing)
Oh, that's cold-blooded!
Shh.
It's okay. I understand.
My unusual appearance
makes people nervous.
You used humor to
defuse the tension.
Yep, and there's still
a little more tension.
So look out!
(Bender clears throat)
You so ugly,
when trick-or-treaters come
to your house,
they give you candy.
You so ugly,
when you go to the bank,
they ask you
to put on a ski mask!
You so ugly, you cracked
the daily mirror.
It's a newspaper!
(Benders laughing)
I wish it weren't so,
but many of these things
are true.
Anyhow, you've lowered
my self-esteem a bit more,
but I'm sincerely grateful
you came all this way
to deliver my fungus chisel.
Don't feel bad, sir.
It's not your fault.
You probably just
inherited your appearance
from your mother.
What?!
No one insults my mama!
(Shouts)
(Screaming)
(Glass shattering)
(Grunting)
(All screaming)
Oh, God, shield your eyes!
It's like Edward
James olmos on imax!
(Grunts)
(Laughing)
Did you see his face
when I said he so ugly?
No, I blacked out,
'cause he so ugly!
(All laughing)
Hey guys, quit reminiscing
and grab me two cigars.
One thing each?
Sounds fair.
Wait, make that four cigars.
Both:
You want us to do four things?
(Beeping)
(Chomping)
(Glass shattering)
My manwich!
(Beeping)
(All talking indistinctly)
What's up, shorty?
And that's the story
of how one of me became two,
and two became four,
making seven total.
The end.
I just like having
the end locker.
It's not like Amy cares
about it at all.
But no, she won't
trade with me.
A rat!
Yes, she is a rat.
No, look!
Which way to the tiny hookers?
(Screams)
A big, fat roach!
What? I thought
I put that away.
No, there!
Who are you?
Bender sent me.
♪ ♪
(All talking indistinctly)
Hey, I know that guy.
Scruffy, what is that tiny
Bender doing in my soup?
It appears to be giving
you the finger, sir. Enjoy.
Help me, help me! I'm too lazy to escape!
(Bender belches, laughs)
(Bender screams)
(Pings softly)
(Chomping)
(Beeping, bell dings)
What?
This place
is crawling with you's!
So there's more Benders around.
As far as I'm concerned,
that's good news.
Professor:
Bad news, everyone.
Look at this infinite series
representing the mass
of successive
generations of Benders.
(Beeps)
(Amy and hermes gasping)
Don't wait for me.
It's non-convergent!
Oh, dip!
Unless we quickly
exterminate them,
they'll replicate ad infinitum
and consume
all the matter on earth.
(All gasp)
According to my calculations,
there are 11 generations
at the moment.
That's 2,046 total Benders
we need to destroy.
Wait, does that include me?
(Shot fires, Bender groans)
(Groans)
Too bad he didn't
have his own Bible.
Just 2,045 more to go.
(Blowing raspberry)
♪ ♪
(Sizzling)
(Beeps)
(Crunching)
2,045. 2,046!
That's it. We got 'em all,
except for the big one.
Wait, this isn't a real Bender.
It's a talking doll from
when Bender had that sitcom
about the city robot
who moves back to the farm.
Doll:
Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin.
(Doll plays canned laughter)
All right, so I let
one measly Bender get away.
How much harm can one infinitely
self-reproducing robot do?
Bender! How could you be
so lazy and irresponsible?
(Snoring)
Hey. What?
Did someone say I'm great?
(Groans)
(All muttering with surprise)
What's with the grey goo?
Bite my tiny metal ass!
Hey, those jerklings
ate my couch.
Oh, God!
We've opened pandora's fly.
They'll reproduce
without limit,
consuming all the
matter in the world!
Like the kardashians.
(Slurping)
Now they drank my booze?!
They've gone too far!
Wait a second.
All Benders are
powered by alcohol!
Of course.
Long before the Benders
devour the earth,
they'll deplete the
planet's booze and die off.
This is a problem that
will solve itself.
A problem that solves itself?
That sounds like a job
for me, Bender.
(Snoring)
Our top story.
All alcohol on earth
has mysteriously disappeared.
Consequences are minimal,
except among
the most hardened alcoholics.
Linda?
I can no longer
face my children!
Crisis averted.
Without alcohol, the
Benders are dying off.
(Coughing and gasping)
A greater tragedy
my eyes have never beheld.
Well, into the toilet.
(Coughing)
So sober, so weak.
Things really worked
out nicely this time.
(Snoring)
(Snorts and coughs)
This doesn't taste
like old-man water.
Professor:
Everyone to the situation room!
I was lying here snoozing,
dreaming, oddly enough,
about bathing in champagne
with six of the world's
most distinguished scientists,
when suddenly, I realized
my bathwater had been
transformed into alcohol.
Alcohol?
Hoo-wee!
Chug, chug, chug, chug!
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
Mmm.
It's like fine cognac
with a hint of aged scrotum.
How can this be?
I thought the Benders drank
all the alcohol in the world.
They did,
but then they made more!
You see, once the Benders
reached atomic scale,
they began directly manipulating
water and co2 molecules
to make alcohol.
(Belching)
(Shrieks)
In a matter of hours,
there will be no more
fresh water on earth.
Oh, no!
What will I mix with my scotch?
Hey, you!
(Laughs)
Good evening.
Who are you calling drunk?
You're not drunk.
I'm drunk.
That's right, Linda.
Water is now.... now booze,
and everyone's tiddy much
protally fit-shaced.
(Hiccups)
Turning to sports,
the indy 500 was today.
There were no survivors.
This chair is so comfortable.
(Retching)
(Laughs)
Classic Amy.
You want to see a
picture of my boy?
Sure.
That's your penis.
That's my boy.
I guess this
isn't... n-not so bad.
As long as we don't need
to use our mental...
Mental...
Minds?
What?
(Yelling and clamoring)
No, listen.
I... freaking
love you.
And I don't throw
that word around.
I know you don't.
That's why I love you.
Are the pizza muffins ready?
(Tapping glass)
(Screaming)
He's here for
revenging, that's why!
No! Wait!
I'm here to apologize.
For your looks?
(Laughs)
Nice one.
Well, yes, actually,
it is sort of related to that.
Can we talk?
Grabbing your spaceship
was not okay.
I-I lost my cool, and I'm sorry.
In group, I learned
that I tend to be a bit...
Repulsive?
(Laughs)
Sensitive.
So now I'm, like,
trying to work on my attitude,
and project an air
of positivity.
You're projecting an air
of something.
Phew!
You're so stinky, you need right
guard and left guard. (Laughs)
I'll take your hygiene advice
to heart.
You're ugly!
(Cackling)
(Weapons firing)
Hey! Ow!
Yo, freak show!
Your face has been declared
a weapon of mass disgusting.
(Laughs)
Timeless.
Okay, deep breath, deep breath.
(Inhales and exhales deeply)
(Weapons firing)
(Touch tones sounding)
Dr. Lesterman?
(Clears throat)
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I think I'm close
to a temper-control incident.
Woman (Recorded):
You have reached the office
of Dr. Judy lesterman
and Dr. Ira rothkiss.
The office is now closed.
If this is a pharmacy calling...
(Yelling)
That's it! I promised myself
I wouldn't do this, but I...
(Grunting)
I will destroy you all!
I won't stop until
your whole planet is as ugly
as you perceive me to be!
That will take a very long time.
(Laughing)
Okay. Stop! Stop!
(Grunting, people yelling)
(Crying)
Stupid...
(Muttering)
Ah.
Blender,
you're the only one who's sober.
(Burps)
You got to do something!
Haven't I done enough already?
Please, stop the monster.
Just do that one thing!
Make it zero, and you got a deal.
(Grunts)
What if I foldeded the
Professor's sweaters for you?
Both of them?
You mean you'll do two things,
and I only have to do one thing?
Yeah. Just save the world.
(Laughs)
Sucker.
(Glass breaking,
people screaming)
Legion of Benders, come unto me!
We have one thing to do.
Micro Benders:
Screw that!
Ah, come on, you lazy jerks!
If we all pitch in,
we each only have to do one
quintillionth of a thing.
Micro Benders (Sigh):
All right.
Big Bender starts right now.
Get a shave, ugly!
Oh.
How about some
aftershave, dumpy?
(Grunts)
You big bully!
You ugly nerd, enjoy a nice
guggenheim swirly!
(Spluttering)
(Gasps)
(Groaning)
Let this beating be a lesson
about never attacking those
more handsome than oneself.
All I wanted was to
apologize to you people.
But now I have to kill you.
How, by making me look at you?
(Laughs)
No. By making you
look at... my mama!
(Yells)
Your mama's so ugly!
I told you not to
talk about my mama!
(Groans)
(Grunting)
(Groaning)
(Whirring)
Robot God:
Walk toward the light, Bender.
Bender:
Aw, man, do I have to walk?
No!
(Cackling)
Huh? Huh?
No!
At last... I'm beautiful!
Bender:
Yeah, if you're into gray dust.
(Cheering shouts)
(Slurred):
Bender, you di' it!
No, we di' it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if together we were able
to defeat
this giant space monster,
think how also
we might defeat the monsters
of poverty and disease
and unliteracy.
In this spirit,
I ask my fellow Benders
to join me in working
diligently to...
Boo!
(Grumbling)
Go to hell!
Come on, let's go someplace
where we don't have
to do one quintillionth
of a thing all the time.
Well, that was dumb.
(All groaning)
Man, were we drunk.
What happened, Professor?
Something absolutely
incredible!
The sweaters got folded!
(All gasping)
But how?
I didn't do it.
Bender, did you learn a lesson
about not being lazy
while the rest of us were bombed
out of our gourds?
Maybe I did, Fry.
Maybe I did.
Or maybe I rescued
one last mini-Bender
to fold stupid, ugly sweaters
while I laughed at him.
(Laughing)
I guess we'll never know.
(Inhales and exhales)
So there it is, people.
Due to budget cutbacks,
we will no longer be offering
free squid guts in the kitchen.
(Sobbing)
Oh, boo-hoo.
Everyone, look
at my latest invention!
Okay.
I like how it's not
killing us so far.
It takes any object
and makes two smaller copies.
Ooh! All right!
Why?
You see, as I age,
I've been shrinking
and feeling colder.
So I now need twice
as many sweaters,
in a smaller size.
First I scan the old sweater.
Then we add some matter.
Any old useless matter will do.
(Buzzing)
Now the matter prism
reorganizes the raw material
into two smaller copies.
(Bell dings)
So that's
where baby sweaters come from.
(Theme music plays on tv)
Narrator:
Enclosed as a pdf attachment:
A picture of yourself,
in a boat, on a river.
It's a river that flows
in two directions.
Make that three.
It's a magic river, that's how.
And it's flowing down
the eerie canal to...
The scary door.
That's "eerie" with two e's.
Consider,
if you have the energy,
Dr. Daniel zenus, an inventor
with a terminal case
of "the lazies."
This robot
will do everything for me.
Robot, activate yourself
and do my research.
(Whirring, footfalls crashing)
Ah...
(Ticking)
Dr. Zenus,
for a lifetime of
scientific achievement,
we present this award to...
Your robot.
Daddy, I love you.
(Sobbing)
If only I'd programmed the robot
to be more careful
what I wished for.
Robot, experience
this tragic irony for me.
No!
Ah...
Ah...
Man, I wish we had
a robot to do stuff.
I know, right?
(Door opens)
Bender, thank God I
found you in time.
I need someone
in the lab immediately,
to fold my new sweaters.
I'm sorry, do you see a robot
in this room named "folder"?
(Laughing)
Oh, fortunately, I came prepared
with a back-up phrasing.
Bender, would you mind
"bending" my new sweaters?
There's only two of them.
Wait. Oh.
You want me to do two things?
Man, I'd call my lawyer
if dialing a phone
wasn't such a hassle.
Razza frazza two things.
Ooh. Razza frazza duplicator.
(Beeps)
(Chuckles)
Now for some tasty matter.
(Chomping)
(Crashing)
(Chomping)
(Buzzing, bell dings)
Howdy, fellas.
I'm Bender.
Go to hell, old man!
I like your attitude.
Let's party.
But first,
fold these two sweaters.
Both:
I'm sorry, do you see a robot
in this room named "folder"?
(Both laughing)
Damn, you're cute.
♪ ♪
(Clattering)
Hi. I'm Bender.
This is my robot Bender,
and this is
my other robot Bender.
Oh, lord.
They're 60%
scale replicas of me, Bender.
Does that mean they only do
60% of the work you do,
or that they actually
do more work
because they're
only 60% as lazy?
(Muttering indistinctly)
Shut up.
(Benders laughing)
That's a good one.
Enough good ones, everyone.
We have a delivery to
an alien space giant.
You'll have to be respectful.
This customer is 50 feet tall
and sensitive
about his appearance.
Colossal tooth whitener,
mega deodorant,
humungous acne cream...
Aw, and one
regular-sized condom.
All that and a small wiener?
This guy's got it goin' on!
(Benders laughing)
Remember, don't show
any reaction to his appearance.
(Leela screams)
I hope that's vanishing cream,
'cause that needs to go away.
(Laughing)
Oh, that's cold-blooded!
Shh.
It's okay. I understand.
My unusual appearance
makes people nervous.
You used humor to
defuse the tension.
Yep, and there's still
a little more tension.
So look out!
(Bender clears throat)
You so ugly,
when trick-or-treaters come
to your house,
they give you candy.
You so ugly,
when you go to the bank,
they ask you
to put on a ski mask!
You so ugly, you cracked
the daily mirror.
It's a newspaper!
(Benders laughing)
I wish it weren't so,
but many of these things
are true.
Anyhow, you've lowered
my self-esteem a bit more,
but I'm sincerely grateful
you came all this way
to deliver my fungus chisel.
Don't feel bad, sir.
It's not your fault.
You probably just
inherited your appearance
from your mother.
What?!
No one insults my mama!
(Shouts)
(Screaming)
(Glass shattering)
(Grunting)
(All screaming)
Oh, God, shield your eyes!
It's like Edward
James olmos on imax!
(Grunts)
(Laughing)
Did you see his face
when I said he so ugly?
No, I blacked out,
'cause he so ugly!
(All laughing)
Hey guys, quit reminiscing
and grab me two cigars.
One thing each?
Sounds fair.
Wait, make that four cigars.
Both:
You want us to do four things?
(Beeping)
(Chomping)
(Glass shattering)
My manwich!
(Beeping)
(All talking indistinctly)
What's up, shorty?
And that's the story
of how one of me became two,
and two became four,
making seven total.
The end.
I just like having
the end locker.
It's not like Amy cares
about it at all.
But no, she won't
trade with me.
A rat!
Yes, she is a rat.
No, look!
Which way to the tiny hookers?
(Screams)
A big, fat roach!
What? I thought
I put that away.
No, there!
Who are you?
Bender sent me.
♪ ♪
(All talking indistinctly)
Hey, I know that guy.
Scruffy, what is that tiny
Bender doing in my soup?
It appears to be giving
you the finger, sir. Enjoy.
Help me, help me! I'm too lazy to escape!
(Bender belches, laughs)
(Bender screams)
(Pings softly)
(Chomping)
(Beeping, bell dings)
What?
This place
is crawling with you's!
So there's more Benders around.
As far as I'm concerned,
that's good news.
Professor:
Bad news, everyone.
Look at this infinite series
representing the mass
of successive
generations of Benders.
(Beeps)
(Amy and hermes gasping)
Don't wait for me.
It's non-convergent!
Oh, dip!
Unless we quickly
exterminate them,
they'll replicate ad infinitum
and consume
all the matter on earth.
(All gasp)
According to my calculations,
there are 11 generations
at the moment.
That's 2,046 total Benders
we need to destroy.
Wait, does that include me?
(Shot fires, Bender groans)
(Groans)
Too bad he didn't
have his own Bible.
Just 2,045 more to go.
(Blowing raspberry)
♪ ♪
(Sizzling)
(Beeps)
(Crunching)
2,045. 2,046!
That's it. We got 'em all,
except for the big one.
Wait, this isn't a real Bender.
It's a talking doll from
when Bender had that sitcom
about the city robot
who moves back to the farm.
Doll:
Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin.
(Doll plays canned laughter)
All right, so I let
one measly Bender get away.
How much harm can one infinitely
self-reproducing robot do?
Bender! How could you be
so lazy and irresponsible?
(Snoring)
Hey. What?
Did someone say I'm great?
(Groans)
(All muttering with surprise)
What's with the grey goo?
Bite my tiny metal ass!
Hey, those jerklings
ate my couch.
Oh, God!
We've opened pandora's fly.
They'll reproduce
without limit,
consuming all the
matter in the world!
Like the kardashians.
(Slurping)
Now they drank my booze?!
They've gone too far!
Wait a second.
All Benders are
powered by alcohol!
Of course.
Long before the Benders
devour the earth,
they'll deplete the
planet's booze and die off.
This is a problem that
will solve itself.
A problem that solves itself?
That sounds like a job
for me, Bender.
(Snoring)
Our top story.
All alcohol on earth
has mysteriously disappeared.
Consequences are minimal,
except among
the most hardened alcoholics.
Linda?
I can no longer
face my children!
Crisis averted.
Without alcohol, the
Benders are dying off.
(Coughing and gasping)
A greater tragedy
my eyes have never beheld.
Well, into the toilet.
(Coughing)
So sober, so weak.
Things really worked
out nicely this time.
(Snoring)
(Snorts and coughs)
This doesn't taste
like old-man water.
Professor:
Everyone to the situation room!
I was lying here snoozing,
dreaming, oddly enough,
about bathing in champagne
with six of the world's
most distinguished scientists,
when suddenly, I realized
my bathwater had been
transformed into alcohol.
Alcohol?
Hoo-wee!
Chug, chug, chug, chug!
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
Mmm.
It's like fine cognac
with a hint of aged scrotum.
How can this be?
I thought the Benders drank
all the alcohol in the world.
They did,
but then they made more!
You see, once the Benders
reached atomic scale,
they began directly manipulating
water and co2 molecules
to make alcohol.
(Belching)
(Shrieks)
In a matter of hours,
there will be no more
fresh water on earth.
Oh, no!
What will I mix with my scotch?
Hey, you!
(Laughs)
Good evening.
Who are you calling drunk?
You're not drunk.
I'm drunk.
That's right, Linda.
Water is now.... now booze,
and everyone's tiddy much
protally fit-shaced.
(Hiccups)
Turning to sports,
the indy 500 was today.
There were no survivors.
This chair is so comfortable.
(Retching)
(Laughs)
Classic Amy.
You want to see a
picture of my boy?
Sure.
That's your penis.
That's my boy.
I guess this
isn't... n-not so bad.
As long as we don't need
to use our mental...
Mental...
Minds?
What?
(Yelling and clamoring)
No, listen.
I... freaking
love you.
And I don't throw
that word around.
I know you don't.
That's why I love you.
Are the pizza muffins ready?
(Tapping glass)
(Screaming)
He's here for
revenging, that's why!
No! Wait!
I'm here to apologize.
For your looks?
(Laughs)
Nice one.
Well, yes, actually,
it is sort of related to that.
Can we talk?
Grabbing your spaceship
was not okay.
I-I lost my cool, and I'm sorry.
In group, I learned
that I tend to be a bit...
Repulsive?
(Laughs)
Sensitive.
So now I'm, like,
trying to work on my attitude,
and project an air
of positivity.
You're projecting an air
of something.
Phew!
You're so stinky, you need right
guard and left guard. (Laughs)
I'll take your hygiene advice
to heart.
You're ugly!
(Cackling)
(Weapons firing)
Hey! Ow!
Yo, freak show!
Your face has been declared
a weapon of mass disgusting.
(Laughs)
Timeless.
Okay, deep breath, deep breath.
(Inhales and exhales deeply)
(Weapons firing)
(Touch tones sounding)
Dr. Lesterman?
(Clears throat)
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I think I'm close
to a temper-control incident.
Woman (Recorded):
You have reached the office
of Dr. Judy lesterman
and Dr. Ira rothkiss.
The office is now closed.
If this is a pharmacy calling...
(Yelling)
That's it! I promised myself
I wouldn't do this, but I...
(Grunting)
I will destroy you all!
I won't stop until
your whole planet is as ugly
as you perceive me to be!
That will take a very long time.
(Laughing)
Okay. Stop! Stop!
(Grunting, people yelling)
(Crying)
Stupid...
(Muttering)
Ah.
Blender,
you're the only one who's sober.
(Burps)
You got to do something!
Haven't I done enough already?
Please, stop the monster.
Just do that one thing!
Make it zero, and you got a deal.
(Grunts)
What if I foldeded the
Professor's sweaters for you?
Both of them?
You mean you'll do two things,
and I only have to do one thing?
Yeah. Just save the world.
(Laughs)
Sucker.
(Glass breaking,
people screaming)
Legion of Benders, come unto me!
We have one thing to do.
Micro Benders:
Screw that!
Ah, come on, you lazy jerks!
If we all pitch in,
we each only have to do one
quintillionth of a thing.
Micro Benders (Sigh):
All right.
Big Bender starts right now.
Get a shave, ugly!
Oh.
How about some
aftershave, dumpy?
(Grunts)
You big bully!
You ugly nerd, enjoy a nice
guggenheim swirly!
(Spluttering)
(Gasps)
(Groaning)
Let this beating be a lesson
about never attacking those
more handsome than oneself.
All I wanted was to
apologize to you people.
But now I have to kill you.
How, by making me look at you?
(Laughs)
No. By making you
look at... my mama!
(Yells)
Your mama's so ugly!
I told you not to
talk about my mama!
(Groans)
(Grunting)
(Groaning)
(Whirring)
Robot God:
Walk toward the light, Bender.
Bender:
Aw, man, do I have to walk?
No!
(Cackling)
Huh? Huh?
No!
At last... I'm beautiful!
Bender:
Yeah, if you're into gray dust.
(Cheering shouts)
(Slurred):
Bender, you di' it!
No, we di' it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if together we were able
to defeat
this giant space monster,
think how also
we might defeat the monsters
of poverty and disease
and unliteracy.
In this spirit,
I ask my fellow Benders
to join me in working
diligently to...
Boo!
(Grumbling)
Go to hell!
Come on, let's go someplace
where we don't have
to do one quintillionth
of a thing all the time.
Well, that was dumb.
(All groaning)
Man, were we drunk.
What happened, Professor?
Something absolutely
incredible!
The sweaters got folded!
(All gasping)
But how?
I didn't do it.
Bender, did you learn a lesson
about not being lazy
while the rest of us were bombed
out of our gourds?
Maybe I did, Fry.
Maybe I did.
Or maybe I rescued
one last mini-Bender
to fold stupid, ugly sweaters
while I laughed at him.
(Laughing)
I guess we'll never know.
(Inhales and exhales)