Futurama (1999–2013): Season 1, Episode 7 - My Three Suns - full transcript
Delivery Boy Philip J. Fry is promoted to Emperor after accidentally drinking his fluid-based predecessor.
# Goin' through the 'bot wash #
# Goin' through the robot wash #
# C'mon y'all
and sing it with me #
# 'Bot wash #
# Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa #
# 'Bot wash, yeah #
Hmm?
# Bot wash, yeah #
Oh...
Oh!
Hey, I'm Elzar.
Welcome to the show.
You know, you don't have
to drive all the way to Neptune...
for great Neptunian food.
Today we're going
to kick it up a notch...
as I show you how to fricassee
a mouthwatering Neptunian slug.
Whoo-whee!
Now, while you're greasing the pan...
and preheating your oven
to 3,500 degrees...
you're going to separate the yolk...
from your genetically
enhanced eggplant...
and then give the whole thing
a good blast...
from your spice weasel. Bam!
Hey, what you watching?
Uh, nothing.
Is that a cooking show?
No, of course not.
It was, uh... porno.
Yeah, that's it.
Bender, I didn't know
you liked cooking.
That's so cute.
Aw, it's true.
I've been hiding it for so long.
It's okay, Bender.
I like cooking, too.
Pansy.
Of course, your most
important ingredient...
is this baby right here...
the Neptunian slug.
You can get it in a can,
but to really do things right...
you got to strangle yourself
a fresh one.
Now this is why you
always want to use...
cast iron cookware.
Bender, mon,
it has come to my attention...
that this company has been
paying you to do nothing
but loaf about on the couch.
You call that a couch?
I demand a pillow.
I'm sorry, but if you want
to continue drawing a salary...
you've got to do more than watch
the cooking shows all day.
Hmm?
You're going to be the ship's cook?
Yeah. We're going to
kick it up a notch.
Bam!
I know you like cooking shows,
but you're a robot.
You don't even have a sense of taste.
Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste...
if was wearing
a lime green tank top.
Bam!
So this is Little Neptune.
Yep. Every chef knows
this is the place...
to get exotic gourmet ingredients.
Among other things.
Come on, man!
Don't hold out on me like this!
Psst. You want to buy organ?
Fresh and cheap,
ready for transplant.
Ooh, what's this?
Ah, it's X-ray eye.
See through anything.
Wait a minute.
This says "Z-ray."
"Z" is just as good.
In fact, it's better.
It's two more than "X."
Hmm, I can see where
that would be an advantage.
Do you take cash?
Fry, you have
to be more careful.
You're not in
the 20th century anymore.
You don't know how
things work here.
I'm not a little kid, Leela.
I grew up in this city.
These are my people.
- What up?
- Word.
See?
Wow! You guys sell every kind...
of meat here except human.
What? You want human?
What's this spice for?
That's powdered swamp root.
Makes you irresistible
to the opposite sex.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
I'll take two pounds.
Hey, buddy...
I'm looking for fresh slug.
Yellow or purple?
Whatever.
The purple one
causes terrible nightmarish diarrhea.
Yeah, yeah, either one's fine.
Hey, have you seen Fry?
Now that you mention it...
I do have trouble breathing
underwater sometimes.
I'll take the gills.
Yes, gills.
Then you don't need
lungs anymore, is right?
Can't imagine why I would.
Lie down on table.
I take lungs now,
gills come next week.
Nurse!
Let's do it.
You may feel small pain.
Thank you.
What the hell were you doing?
I warned you to stay away
from those guys.
I'm capable of making
my own decisions, Leela.
Did you ever stop to think...
I might be happier with gills?
Good news, everyone.
Uh-oh, I don't like
the sound of that.
You'll be making a delivery
to the planet Trisol.
Here it comes.
A mysterious world
in the darkest depths...
of the forbidden zone.
Thank you and good night.
Uh, Professor, are we even
allowed in the forbidden zone?
Why, of course.
It's just a name.
Like " The Death Zone"
or " The Zone of No Return."
All the zones have names like
that in the Galaxy of Terror.
Uh, Professor...
off you go.
Pleasant trip.
Hey, Bender...
how's dinner coming?
Almost ready.
Ah, now for a dash of salt.
Uh-oh.
Listen, this is
Bender's first meal...
and he's a little sensitive.
So let's be supportive, okay?
- Right.
- Yeah, okay.
Oh, dear God!
Ew! That's the saltiest thing
I've ever tasted.
And I once ate
a big heaping bowl of salt.
Bender, is this salt water?
That's salt with water in it,
if that's what you mean.
My vision's fading.
I think I'm going to die.
There was nothing wrong
with that food.
The salt level was ten percent
less than a lethal dose.
Uh-oh, I shouldn't have
had seconds.
Okay, Fry...
here's the package to deliver.
And for once in your life, be careful.
This is my first visit
to the Galaxy of Terror...
and I'd like it to
be a pleasant one.
Ow!
Don't touch anything
or talk to anyone.
Just go to the palace, drop it off
and come right back.
Geez, will you lay off?
I was delivering things
before you were born.
I think I know what I'm doing.
Oh, stupid slug.
I've never been so thirsty.
Oh, come on, go down already.
Ah.
Hello?
Anybody home?
Ah!
The royal bottle is empty!
You drank our emperor!
No, it wasn't me.
You drank our emperor!
You assassinated him!
I didn't mean to.
He just looked so cool and refreshing.
I'm sure he was.
But now he's gone,
and your fate is sealed.
All hail the new emperor!
Hail! Hail! Hail!
So after I specifically
asked you not to touch anything...
you drank a bottle
of strange blue liquid.
It could have been
poisonous acid.
It could have been,
but chances were...
equally good it was an emperor.
Excuse me, Your Majesty...
I am Murg, the high priest.
If I might interject?
You might.
I humbly advise
that as your first act...
you choose a capable prime minister.
I suggest Gorgak,
the previous appointee.
I will be a forceful and
effective administrator.
You know, Fry,
I've often thought...
about becoming a prime minister.
I got to go with Bender.
Yes! In your face, Gorgak!
That's it, Fry.
As your captain,
I order you back to the ship.
You are in way over your head.
Gee, you think so, Captain?
I'd better check
with my prime minister.
Stay the course, pal.
Your Highness,
a package came for you.
Hey, thanks.
Wow, this got here just in time.
This is Your Majesty's harem.
You may choose any
of these maidens...
to be your royal consort.
Uh, uh... how about that one?
Oh, I didn't realize Your Majesty...
was into that sort of thing.
Oh second thought,
I'll take that one.
Hey, whatever you say.
I'm not here to pass judgment.
Does anyone else think it's odd...
that a shiftless,
25-year-old delivery boy...
could drop out of the sky,
kill the emperor...
and be rewarded
instead of punished?
You don't have to beat
around the bush, Leela.
We all know
who you're talking about.
Me, right?
Oh, I don't think there's
anything to worry about.
These people seem
really mild-mannered.
They are mild.
In fact, you're soaking
in one right now.
You touched me in ways
I've never been touched before.
Ah, there you are,
Your Majesty.
It's time to begin preparing
for tomorrow's Coronation Ceremony.
A fancy dress gala?
I'll wear my formal shell.
Fry will be
enthroned tomorrow...
at the setting
of the three suns...
when we Trisolians
enter our nocturnal phase.
There won't be a lot
of long-winded speeches will there?
Only one.
The absolutely flawless
recitation from memory...
of the royal oath...
by you.
Will there be cake?
And now, get ready to laugh
till your sides leak...
with our planet's foremost
political satirist, Florp.
So what is the deal with people
from under the orange sun?
They're all...
But us guys from under
the red sun, we're like...
Right? Am I right?
Oh, yeah, he's right.
Fry, I have to talk to you.
You're in terrible danger.
You see Emperor Plon here?
He met his end when he
was drunk by Emperor Strug.
And before he could
even wipe his mouth...
Strug was drunk by Shwab.
- So?
- Look at all these guys.
Do you have any idea
what the average length
of their reigns was?
Uh... 80,000 years?
No, one week.
Damn. I knew
you wouldn't have asked...
unless it was really high
or really low.
Every emperor ascended to power...
by assassinating
the previous one.
And guess who's next?
Well, at least my assassin
will get what's coming to him.
You're in tremendous
danger, you idiot!
Half these emperors
were drunk at their own coronation.
Hey, I plan on having
a few brewskis myself.
No, they were assassinated.
In fact, the law says
you'll be killed on the spot...
if you fail to recite
the oath from memory.
I was going to thumb
through that later.
That is completely reckless.
Don't you ever think ahead?
Hell, no.
If I stopped
to think ahead...
I wouldn't be emperor...
and I wouldn't even be here
in the year 3000.
It's just like the story...
of the grasshopper
and the octopus.
All year long, the grasshopper
kept burying acorns for winter...
while the octopus mooched
off his girlfriend...
and watched TV.
But then
the winter came...
and the grasshopper died...
and the octopus ate
all his acorns...
and also he got
a race car.
Is any of this getting
through to you?
I give up.
You're going to get
yourself killed...
and this time I won't
be able to save you.
Who asked you to?
I told you a hundred times...
to stop treating
me like a baby.
Now go.
Go gather your nuts,
you nagging grasshopper.
That's it!
I'm never helping you again.
If anyone except
you needs me...
I'll be
in the ship.
I'll be fine.
It's not like anyone's
going to drink me.
Quit it.
People of Trisol...
it is my honor to present
your new emperor.
What up?
Stick to the oath.
Right.
I, Fry, who drank
Bont the Viscous...
who drank Ungo the Moist...
who guzzled Zorn the Stagnant...
who slurped Hudj the Dewy...
who enjoyed a soup composed
principally of Throm the Chunky...
do solemnly swear to rule
with honor and...
insanity...
uh, integrity.
Congratulations, Your Highness.
I now present you with
your royal unisex robe.
Long live Fry the Solid!
Hey, look, the suns are setting.
I can finally switch to hard liquor.
Ah.
Check out the glowing freaks.
It's beautiful.
Hey, what's that?
The Emperor Bont!
He's still alive!
Of course I'm alive.
Now cut this creep open
and drain me out.
My tummy hurts.
They're over here.
They're running up the stairs.
Shut up, you.
Let us in!
Fry must die
so that Bont may live.
What am I going to do?
We've got to get
the emperor out of your body...
before they kill you.
Relax, Fry.
I'll simply spin you
in a high-speed centrifuge...
separating out the denser
fluid of His Highness.
But won't that crush my bones?
Oh, right, right,
with the bones.
I always forget
about the bones.
Hey, why don't you just
sweat him out?
Forget it.
As emperor, I refuse to be dripped out
through somebody's armpit.
I could vomit or urinate.
Would you feel better about that?
Slightly. But my favorite so far
is the bone crushing.
What about crying?
That's a great idea. Crying.
Fine. That or the bone one.
Keep it up, men.
The veneer is starting to peel.
Oh, dear.
It's no use.
I want to cry,
but I'm just too macho.
I'll make you cry, buddy.
You're a pimple on society's ass...
and you'll never
amount to anything.
What do you mean?
I was emperor of a whole planet.
Good point.
But here's a disturbing reminder:
Everyone you knew or loved
in the 20th century is dead.
These things happen.
Okay, Fry, grab a
Kleenex for this one...
'cause there's no god...
and your idiotic human ideals...
are laughable.
Whew.
That's a load off my mind.
Man, I guess it's
harder than I thought...
to make someone cry.
You did your best, Bender.
Up yours, bimbo!
Let's face it,
we're in hot butter here.
We should call Leela for help.
Cram it, lobster.
But that is a good idea.
I'll go call her.
Aw, she'll never help me.
She's still mad that I told her
never to help me.
Come on, Leela's
not the type to hold a grudge.
Collect call from...
I'm not giving my name to a machine!
I'll accept.
Fry's in trouble...
and he needs help.
Now, I don't like you
and you don't like me.
I like you.
You do?
Look, are you going
to help or not?!
I don't know why I should.
I mean, after what he...
Wait. Wait.
Wait. Wait.
What is it you like
best about me?
Is she coming?
I'm not sure,
but I do know...
that she likes my
in-your-face attitude.
What the hell is that?!
It's the juice-
a-matic 4000.
It'll strain my
juices from you...
while filtering
out the pulp.
By which I mean
your shredded remains.
Of course.
Why didn't I think of that?
This is the saddest day
of my life...
and I still can't cry.
Wait a second.
Here comes Leela!
They have her
totally outnumbered.
I can't believe it.
She's risking
her life for me...
after the way
I treated her?
Oh...
I don't deserve this.
I feel terrible.
You do?
Hmm...
is she all right?
I don't know.
Perhaps I'll look
out this window.
Oh, dear God in heaven!
They're swarming all over her!
No! No!
What are you talking
about, Bender?
She's...
There's strapping her
to the juicer!
Oh, they're putting some ice cubes...
in the glass
under it.
This can't
be happening!
It can, and for all
you know, it is.
I'm sorry, Fry.
She's dead.
All Leela ever wanted to do
was help me...
and I was too proud
and stupid to accept it.
I wish I had died
instead of her.
What are you talking about?
Leela! You're alive!
Of course I'm alive.
I told Fry you were dead...
so he would cry out the emperor...
but you had to go
and wreck it by surviving.
We only got two drops.
It's only a matter of time now.
I'll handle this.
Listen, Fry, I think
I can get us out of this...
if you're willing
to let me help you.
Thanks, Leela.
From now on, I'll
take all the help...
you're willing to give.
I know you just want
what's best for me.
Ow!
What was that for?!
Hey, come on!
That hurt!
I know.
Amy, get the bottle.
Ow!
Oh, now I understand.
Come on.
Everybody help out Fry.
Ow! Ow!
Ow!
Thanks, everybody.
I love you all.
You guys are true...
Oh!
Cut it out, Bender.
That's a tender area.
How we doing, Amy?
Great. We're one-tenth
of the way there.
Okay, it's your turn.
Hey, wait a minute.
Who are you?
I'm the emperor.
Thanks for crying me out.
Oh, you're welcome.
Oh!
Hey, save some for me!
# Goin' through the robot wash #
# C'mon y'all
and sing it with me #
# 'Bot wash #
# Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa #
# 'Bot wash, yeah #
Hmm?
# Bot wash, yeah #
Oh...
Oh!
Hey, I'm Elzar.
Welcome to the show.
You know, you don't have
to drive all the way to Neptune...
for great Neptunian food.
Today we're going
to kick it up a notch...
as I show you how to fricassee
a mouthwatering Neptunian slug.
Whoo-whee!
Now, while you're greasing the pan...
and preheating your oven
to 3,500 degrees...
you're going to separate the yolk...
from your genetically
enhanced eggplant...
and then give the whole thing
a good blast...
from your spice weasel. Bam!
Hey, what you watching?
Uh, nothing.
Is that a cooking show?
No, of course not.
It was, uh... porno.
Yeah, that's it.
Bender, I didn't know
you liked cooking.
That's so cute.
Aw, it's true.
I've been hiding it for so long.
It's okay, Bender.
I like cooking, too.
Pansy.
Of course, your most
important ingredient...
is this baby right here...
the Neptunian slug.
You can get it in a can,
but to really do things right...
you got to strangle yourself
a fresh one.
Now this is why you
always want to use...
cast iron cookware.
Bender, mon,
it has come to my attention...
that this company has been
paying you to do nothing
but loaf about on the couch.
You call that a couch?
I demand a pillow.
I'm sorry, but if you want
to continue drawing a salary...
you've got to do more than watch
the cooking shows all day.
Hmm?
You're going to be the ship's cook?
Yeah. We're going to
kick it up a notch.
Bam!
I know you like cooking shows,
but you're a robot.
You don't even have a sense of taste.
Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste...
if was wearing
a lime green tank top.
Bam!
So this is Little Neptune.
Yep. Every chef knows
this is the place...
to get exotic gourmet ingredients.
Among other things.
Come on, man!
Don't hold out on me like this!
Psst. You want to buy organ?
Fresh and cheap,
ready for transplant.
Ooh, what's this?
Ah, it's X-ray eye.
See through anything.
Wait a minute.
This says "Z-ray."
"Z" is just as good.
In fact, it's better.
It's two more than "X."
Hmm, I can see where
that would be an advantage.
Do you take cash?
Fry, you have
to be more careful.
You're not in
the 20th century anymore.
You don't know how
things work here.
I'm not a little kid, Leela.
I grew up in this city.
These are my people.
- What up?
- Word.
See?
Wow! You guys sell every kind...
of meat here except human.
What? You want human?
What's this spice for?
That's powdered swamp root.
Makes you irresistible
to the opposite sex.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
I'll take two pounds.
Hey, buddy...
I'm looking for fresh slug.
Yellow or purple?
Whatever.
The purple one
causes terrible nightmarish diarrhea.
Yeah, yeah, either one's fine.
Hey, have you seen Fry?
Now that you mention it...
I do have trouble breathing
underwater sometimes.
I'll take the gills.
Yes, gills.
Then you don't need
lungs anymore, is right?
Can't imagine why I would.
Lie down on table.
I take lungs now,
gills come next week.
Nurse!
Let's do it.
You may feel small pain.
Thank you.
What the hell were you doing?
I warned you to stay away
from those guys.
I'm capable of making
my own decisions, Leela.
Did you ever stop to think...
I might be happier with gills?
Good news, everyone.
Uh-oh, I don't like
the sound of that.
You'll be making a delivery
to the planet Trisol.
Here it comes.
A mysterious world
in the darkest depths...
of the forbidden zone.
Thank you and good night.
Uh, Professor, are we even
allowed in the forbidden zone?
Why, of course.
It's just a name.
Like " The Death Zone"
or " The Zone of No Return."
All the zones have names like
that in the Galaxy of Terror.
Uh, Professor...
off you go.
Pleasant trip.
Hey, Bender...
how's dinner coming?
Almost ready.
Ah, now for a dash of salt.
Uh-oh.
Listen, this is
Bender's first meal...
and he's a little sensitive.
So let's be supportive, okay?
- Right.
- Yeah, okay.
Oh, dear God!
Ew! That's the saltiest thing
I've ever tasted.
And I once ate
a big heaping bowl of salt.
Bender, is this salt water?
That's salt with water in it,
if that's what you mean.
My vision's fading.
I think I'm going to die.
There was nothing wrong
with that food.
The salt level was ten percent
less than a lethal dose.
Uh-oh, I shouldn't have
had seconds.
Okay, Fry...
here's the package to deliver.
And for once in your life, be careful.
This is my first visit
to the Galaxy of Terror...
and I'd like it to
be a pleasant one.
Ow!
Don't touch anything
or talk to anyone.
Just go to the palace, drop it off
and come right back.
Geez, will you lay off?
I was delivering things
before you were born.
I think I know what I'm doing.
Oh, stupid slug.
I've never been so thirsty.
Oh, come on, go down already.
Ah.
Hello?
Anybody home?
Ah!
The royal bottle is empty!
You drank our emperor!
No, it wasn't me.
You drank our emperor!
You assassinated him!
I didn't mean to.
He just looked so cool and refreshing.
I'm sure he was.
But now he's gone,
and your fate is sealed.
All hail the new emperor!
Hail! Hail! Hail!
So after I specifically
asked you not to touch anything...
you drank a bottle
of strange blue liquid.
It could have been
poisonous acid.
It could have been,
but chances were...
equally good it was an emperor.
Excuse me, Your Majesty...
I am Murg, the high priest.
If I might interject?
You might.
I humbly advise
that as your first act...
you choose a capable prime minister.
I suggest Gorgak,
the previous appointee.
I will be a forceful and
effective administrator.
You know, Fry,
I've often thought...
about becoming a prime minister.
I got to go with Bender.
Yes! In your face, Gorgak!
That's it, Fry.
As your captain,
I order you back to the ship.
You are in way over your head.
Gee, you think so, Captain?
I'd better check
with my prime minister.
Stay the course, pal.
Your Highness,
a package came for you.
Hey, thanks.
Wow, this got here just in time.
This is Your Majesty's harem.
You may choose any
of these maidens...
to be your royal consort.
Uh, uh... how about that one?
Oh, I didn't realize Your Majesty...
was into that sort of thing.
Oh second thought,
I'll take that one.
Hey, whatever you say.
I'm not here to pass judgment.
Does anyone else think it's odd...
that a shiftless,
25-year-old delivery boy...
could drop out of the sky,
kill the emperor...
and be rewarded
instead of punished?
You don't have to beat
around the bush, Leela.
We all know
who you're talking about.
Me, right?
Oh, I don't think there's
anything to worry about.
These people seem
really mild-mannered.
They are mild.
In fact, you're soaking
in one right now.
You touched me in ways
I've never been touched before.
Ah, there you are,
Your Majesty.
It's time to begin preparing
for tomorrow's Coronation Ceremony.
A fancy dress gala?
I'll wear my formal shell.
Fry will be
enthroned tomorrow...
at the setting
of the three suns...
when we Trisolians
enter our nocturnal phase.
There won't be a lot
of long-winded speeches will there?
Only one.
The absolutely flawless
recitation from memory...
of the royal oath...
by you.
Will there be cake?
And now, get ready to laugh
till your sides leak...
with our planet's foremost
political satirist, Florp.
So what is the deal with people
from under the orange sun?
They're all...
But us guys from under
the red sun, we're like...
Right? Am I right?
Oh, yeah, he's right.
Fry, I have to talk to you.
You're in terrible danger.
You see Emperor Plon here?
He met his end when he
was drunk by Emperor Strug.
And before he could
even wipe his mouth...
Strug was drunk by Shwab.
- So?
- Look at all these guys.
Do you have any idea
what the average length
of their reigns was?
Uh... 80,000 years?
No, one week.
Damn. I knew
you wouldn't have asked...
unless it was really high
or really low.
Every emperor ascended to power...
by assassinating
the previous one.
And guess who's next?
Well, at least my assassin
will get what's coming to him.
You're in tremendous
danger, you idiot!
Half these emperors
were drunk at their own coronation.
Hey, I plan on having
a few brewskis myself.
No, they were assassinated.
In fact, the law says
you'll be killed on the spot...
if you fail to recite
the oath from memory.
I was going to thumb
through that later.
That is completely reckless.
Don't you ever think ahead?
Hell, no.
If I stopped
to think ahead...
I wouldn't be emperor...
and I wouldn't even be here
in the year 3000.
It's just like the story...
of the grasshopper
and the octopus.
All year long, the grasshopper
kept burying acorns for winter...
while the octopus mooched
off his girlfriend...
and watched TV.
But then
the winter came...
and the grasshopper died...
and the octopus ate
all his acorns...
and also he got
a race car.
Is any of this getting
through to you?
I give up.
You're going to get
yourself killed...
and this time I won't
be able to save you.
Who asked you to?
I told you a hundred times...
to stop treating
me like a baby.
Now go.
Go gather your nuts,
you nagging grasshopper.
That's it!
I'm never helping you again.
If anyone except
you needs me...
I'll be
in the ship.
I'll be fine.
It's not like anyone's
going to drink me.
Quit it.
People of Trisol...
it is my honor to present
your new emperor.
What up?
Stick to the oath.
Right.
I, Fry, who drank
Bont the Viscous...
who drank Ungo the Moist...
who guzzled Zorn the Stagnant...
who slurped Hudj the Dewy...
who enjoyed a soup composed
principally of Throm the Chunky...
do solemnly swear to rule
with honor and...
insanity...
uh, integrity.
Congratulations, Your Highness.
I now present you with
your royal unisex robe.
Long live Fry the Solid!
Hey, look, the suns are setting.
I can finally switch to hard liquor.
Ah.
Check out the glowing freaks.
It's beautiful.
Hey, what's that?
The Emperor Bont!
He's still alive!
Of course I'm alive.
Now cut this creep open
and drain me out.
My tummy hurts.
They're over here.
They're running up the stairs.
Shut up, you.
Let us in!
Fry must die
so that Bont may live.
What am I going to do?
We've got to get
the emperor out of your body...
before they kill you.
Relax, Fry.
I'll simply spin you
in a high-speed centrifuge...
separating out the denser
fluid of His Highness.
But won't that crush my bones?
Oh, right, right,
with the bones.
I always forget
about the bones.
Hey, why don't you just
sweat him out?
Forget it.
As emperor, I refuse to be dripped out
through somebody's armpit.
I could vomit or urinate.
Would you feel better about that?
Slightly. But my favorite so far
is the bone crushing.
What about crying?
That's a great idea. Crying.
Fine. That or the bone one.
Keep it up, men.
The veneer is starting to peel.
Oh, dear.
It's no use.
I want to cry,
but I'm just too macho.
I'll make you cry, buddy.
You're a pimple on society's ass...
and you'll never
amount to anything.
What do you mean?
I was emperor of a whole planet.
Good point.
But here's a disturbing reminder:
Everyone you knew or loved
in the 20th century is dead.
These things happen.
Okay, Fry, grab a
Kleenex for this one...
'cause there's no god...
and your idiotic human ideals...
are laughable.
Whew.
That's a load off my mind.
Man, I guess it's
harder than I thought...
to make someone cry.
You did your best, Bender.
Up yours, bimbo!
Let's face it,
we're in hot butter here.
We should call Leela for help.
Cram it, lobster.
But that is a good idea.
I'll go call her.
Aw, she'll never help me.
She's still mad that I told her
never to help me.
Come on, Leela's
not the type to hold a grudge.
Collect call from...
I'm not giving my name to a machine!
I'll accept.
Fry's in trouble...
and he needs help.
Now, I don't like you
and you don't like me.
I like you.
You do?
Look, are you going
to help or not?!
I don't know why I should.
I mean, after what he...
Wait. Wait.
Wait. Wait.
What is it you like
best about me?
Is she coming?
I'm not sure,
but I do know...
that she likes my
in-your-face attitude.
What the hell is that?!
It's the juice-
a-matic 4000.
It'll strain my
juices from you...
while filtering
out the pulp.
By which I mean
your shredded remains.
Of course.
Why didn't I think of that?
This is the saddest day
of my life...
and I still can't cry.
Wait a second.
Here comes Leela!
They have her
totally outnumbered.
I can't believe it.
She's risking
her life for me...
after the way
I treated her?
Oh...
I don't deserve this.
I feel terrible.
You do?
Hmm...
is she all right?
I don't know.
Perhaps I'll look
out this window.
Oh, dear God in heaven!
They're swarming all over her!
No! No!
What are you talking
about, Bender?
She's...
There's strapping her
to the juicer!
Oh, they're putting some ice cubes...
in the glass
under it.
This can't
be happening!
It can, and for all
you know, it is.
I'm sorry, Fry.
She's dead.
All Leela ever wanted to do
was help me...
and I was too proud
and stupid to accept it.
I wish I had died
instead of her.
What are you talking about?
Leela! You're alive!
Of course I'm alive.
I told Fry you were dead...
so he would cry out the emperor...
but you had to go
and wreck it by surviving.
We only got two drops.
It's only a matter of time now.
I'll handle this.
Listen, Fry, I think
I can get us out of this...
if you're willing
to let me help you.
Thanks, Leela.
From now on, I'll
take all the help...
you're willing to give.
I know you just want
what's best for me.
Ow!
What was that for?!
Hey, come on!
That hurt!
I know.
Amy, get the bottle.
Ow!
Oh, now I understand.
Come on.
Everybody help out Fry.
Ow! Ow!
Ow!
Thanks, everybody.
I love you all.
You guys are true...
Oh!
Cut it out, Bender.
That's a tender area.
How we doing, Amy?
Great. We're one-tenth
of the way there.
Okay, it's your turn.
Hey, wait a minute.
Who are you?
I'm the emperor.
Thanks for crying me out.
Oh, you're welcome.
Oh!
Hey, save some for me!