Fuller House (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - My Little Hickey - full transcript
Ramona asks Stephanie to keep quiet about her hickey while Fernando has a hard time adjusting to his new living situation.
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Whatever happened to predictability? ♪
♪ The milkman, the paperboy
The evening TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look, everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart
A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look, everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face
Somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
I'm sorry.
I don't care.
Look, I'm really sorry.
I really don't care.
"Sorry" isn't gonna get rid
of this hickey.
Look, it's just...
you're so beautiful,
I got carried away, and...
over-nibbled.
It looks like I made out with a Shop-Vac.
I can't let my parents see this.
They'll freak out.
Unless...
Does my hair cover it?
Not only does it cover it,
but you look hot with a beard.
Hey, guys.
Ramona...
is that some new summer do?
Yes! Yes, it's...
See, it's a ponytail for your chin.
So...
It's...
a chin tail.
Let me try it.
-Then you...
-Uh-huh.
-Like this?
-It looks great!
Yeah?
Oh. Perfect Instagram.
Hashtag, chin tail sisters.
I don't know which one of you is cuter.
It's neck and neck.
See what I did?
Yeah, I saw what you did.
Goodbye, Popko.
It's nice to see Popko's turned
into a little gentleman.
Yes.
Although every once in a while,
he can really suck.
Hey.
All the cool kids are doing it.
So... Well, see ya, Stephanie.
See ya, hickey.
How did you know?
Oh, please.
I am the queen of hiding hickeys.
Who do you think
invented the turtleneck bikini?
I can't believe the neck-kini never
caught on. Might have been the tan lines.
Will you please help me cover this up?
Sure. I got ya.
Thanks, Stephanie.
You know,
you're the coolest she-wolf in the pack.
Oh, why thank you.
You know, I've always said that.
Oh. Can you please
not tell my mom about it?
Well...
If it's really important to you,
I won't tell her.
But I definitely think you should.
Did you tell your dad
about your first hickey?
God, no. I'd still be grounded.
Well, I can't tell my mom.
She'll want to have a hickey talk,
and then a boy talk,
and a "you're-growing-up" talk.
She'll sing that corny song.
♪ Your body is a-changing ♪
♪ Oh, no, awkward ♪
♪ Your parts are rearranging ♪
♪ Your armpits now have hair ♪
[Jackson] What's he gonna do?
Juking the defenders.
He lines up the Oreo, he goes.
he shoots, and he scores!
[cheering]
-[Jackson exclaims]
-Milk me!
Nice one!
He said, "Milk me,"
and then you gave him milk!
[all laughing]
This is why women date older men.
Oh, hello, teens I don't know,
and yet, are eating all my food.
Wow.
You're like a sexy mom
in a tuna fish commercial.
I like this one.
And I do love tuna.
It's a smart choice when I'm on the go.
Why am I explaining this to you?
That's Mankowski,
this is Nugs, and here's Gene.
He's seen every movie ever made.
Oh, hello.
You had me at "hello." Jerry Maguire.
Are you talking to me?
[loudly] Are you talkin' to me?
Taxi Driver.
Oh, OK.
May the force be with you. Star Wars.
I don't like it when other people do it.
Come on, guys. Let's go study.
Oh, Jackson. I am impressed that you guys
are studying on a Saturday.
Well, we kind of forgot to study
Monday through Friday, so...
[all laughing]
Or all last school year.
[all laughing]
Classic Mankowski.
[all laughing]
I'm gonna ask a question,
and I'd like the truth.
Are you all high?
[all laughing]
Oh, Mom.
Jackson's mom, you got it goin' on.
Well, I do Soul Cycle, and...
I try to eat clean and...
Why do I keep explaining myself?
Classic Jackson's mom.
[doorbell rings]
[DJ sighs]
They seem like nice boys.
They're idiots.
Yeah, they are.
It's always open!
Oh, hello, neighbor.
My name is Fernando.
I just moved in next door.
Yes, I know that, Fernando.
I don't want to be an imposition, but...
back in the day, I used to live here.
And I was wondering if I could take a look
around the old place.
You just moved out of here three days ago.
Not much has changed.
Oh, no!
He's back!
My dear friend Max.
Oh!
You're getting so big.
Put. Me. Down.
[gasps]
Be still my heart.
The very couch
where I used to take my siestas.
What is wrong with him?
Well, that's a Pandora's box
you do not want to open.
Memories are flooding back.
Do you remember that Christmas
where we sang carols about the
flying animal with the disfigured face?
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"?
Does that door still lead to the kitchen?
[DJ] Hey, hey, hey!
You know, I just thought of a good memory
we can relive.
Remember that time
that you went out on the front porch?
Sounds familiar.
And then I went back inside?
Uh-huh?
And shut the door?
And then what happened?
You went back to your own house.
[lock clicks]
-That's not how I remember it.
-[door handle rattles]
Hello!
[handle rattles]
Hello!
I thought it was always open.
OK.
A little yellow concealer
to cover up the purple.
And check it out.
It's gone.
It's like Popko's lips
were never even there.
Yeah, I'm like the David Copperfield
of hickeys.
First you see it,
then your parents don't.
Hey, guys.
Hey. What happened to your chin tail?
I just accessorized mine.
Oh. That was so 20 minutes ago.
Are you guys doing makeovers?
Ramona, that's our thing.
Sorry, Mom. I don't have time.
I'm meeting up with Popko
to go play laser tag.
Laser tag?
Ramona, that's our thing.
You say everything is.
Because that's my thing.
Aww. You're growing up so fast.
It seems like yesterday
I was dropping you off at kindergarten
with a backpack that was bigger than you.
Oh, sweet cheese, here come the tears.
[sniffs]
Mom, you should lie down.
I can't.
Steve's coming by to sample wedding cakes.
And then he's gonna get married
and have kids.
And then they'll grow up
and leave him, too.
Go on. I'll deal with this.
There, there.
It's gonna be OK.
I thought you were gonna deal with this?
Well, you stopped crying.
Wow.
She's good.
OK, Tommy, you ready to go?
-Yeah.
-Hold on tight.
[Tommy] Again.
-You want to do it again?
-Yeah.
[DJ] OK.
Why hiding?
Oh. That's not creepy.
Hello, again, neighbor.
May I help you?
Yes, of course I will come over.
No! No!
I did not invite... Hey!
When did you put that gate in?
In the night.
So you would not stop me.
I have a good idea.
Fudgsicles!
No, Fernando!
Hey, you have your own house now
that you need to spend time in.
With your own Fudgsicles.
Fernando.
Where are you?
An open freezer door?
And a single bite of a Fudgsicle?
I knew I shouldn't have let him
in the house.
Fernando!
Hey, I know you're in here.
Give yourself up and go home.
Fernando.
[Kimmy breathes slowly]
Come on, Steve. I have someplace to be.
Pick a wedding cake already.
I am a cake connoisseur.
[sniffs] Ah.
2017 Duncan Hines.
Very good year for red velvets.
Please hurry this up.
I'm not gonna rush this. I picked the
wrong cake the first time I got married.
Now I can't even look at lemon chiffon
without thinking,
"Why didn't I just get a prenup?"
Save it for your therapist.
Pick a frickin' cake.
Here. Brown cake.
-Good one.
-White.
Yellow cake.
Oh, boy.
Kimmy.
What is the big emergency?
I want to surprise Ramona at laser tag.
So, congratulations.
You've been rehired as junior partner
at Gibbler Style Party Planning.
You said you could no longer afford me.
Oh, that won't be a problem.
I cut your pay in half.
Kimmy.
Shh! It is very unprofessional
to argue in front of the client.
You're gonna love my new associate.
She's fabulous.
Take your time,
and no rush with that deposit.
Hurry him up, and get the money now!
OK, people.
So why is Abraham Lincoln important?
Didn't Lincoln invent that job website?
That's LinkedIn.
All right, look, dum-dums.
Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president.
He freed the slaves
and was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth.
-None of that sounds right.
-[boys] Nah.
Hey! Why are you sitting on my unicorn?
And why are you petting my dog?
Come on, Cosmo.
[boys laugh]
What did you do to Cosmo?
I changed his name.
Come here, Derek.
You changed my dog's name?
He told me his real name is Derek.
I can talk to dogs.
But not cats.
[Nugs laughs]
But not cats!
Dude. It's not funny.
We have two cats at home.
I have no idea what they want.
Mom! Mom!
What now, Max?
Fernando's loose in the house.
Jackson's goon squad sat on my unicorn
and renamed my dog.
Make them leave.
You can't kick us out. We're the Six Pack.
Why are you the Six Pack?
There's only four of you.
You want to know why?
So we can do this.
[mimic soda opening]
[glugging]
[mimic crushing can]
That was awesome.
Aww. That was kind of cute.
It was totally lame.
OK, everybody out.
We're trying to study.
Yeah, listen to Jackson.
He's our study-group captain.
He's super brain strong.
We call him "The Professor."
Really?
You call my Jackson "The Professor"?
I'm sure they're using it ironically.
I don't know what "ironically" means.
But you know who would? The Professor.
He already got a D-minus.
With any luck,
he'll help us get a D-minus, too.
Stick with me. It'll happen.
Jackson is a natural-born leader.
What movie is that from?
It's not from a movie.
It's from my heart.
Jackson, why don't you and the guys
order some pizzas? On me.
Oh, awesome, Mom.
Thank you so much.
Classic Jackson's mom.
I'll be 18 in four years.
Wait for me.
Mom, don't feed them.
They'll keep coming back.
Like Fernando.
Oh, honey. Don't you get it?
Those guys...
they make Jackson feel good
about himself.
He's never been the leader.
I bet being top dog feels pretty good.
It does.
And I would know.
Just let Jackson have his Six Pack.
I mean, what are the odds those guys
are gonna be his best friends for life?
Two words.
Kimmy Gibbler.
[electronic shooting]
Ramona?
Ramona?
You're not Ramona.
[in Spanish accent]
Say hello to my little laser.
Hasta la vista, baby!
Hey. Have you seen Ramona?
No! Where's your vest?
There's no way to kill you.
Exactly.
Oh!
Oh, man.
[electronic shooting continues]
Make my day, punk!
Ramona! I found you.
Mom, what are you doing here?
I cut my meeting short.
You kept saying, "This is our thing."
No, that was you.
The important thing
is that you are overjoyed that I'm here.
Hey, what brings you here, Ms. G?
What's wrong with your face?
Uh-oh.
Is my zit cream lighting up?
No time for chit-chat.
We're too exposed.
I'll cover you. Wait for my signal.
Now what are you doing?
Go, go, go!
Mom, you're kind of embarrassing me.
Hey, what's that glowing on your neck?
This?
See, I'm covering a really big neck zit,
and so...
[man over PA] Warning!
Mature woman on the premises.
Possible mom. Time out!
[all groan]
[Kimmy] Wait a minute.
That's not a zit. That's...
That's a hickey.
What?
Who did this to you?
You did.
[gun shoots]
Whoops.
I'm out!
Why didn't you tell me?
Mom, don't freak out.
Don't freak out?
You have a hickey, a boyfriend.
You're growing up.
[to "Camptown Races"]
♪ Your body is a-changing ♪
♪ Oh, no, awkward ♪
♪ Your parts are rearranging ♪
-♪ Your armpits now have hair ♪
-Stop.
♪ What's going on down there? ♪
♪ It's normal, don't be scared ♪
Wait a minute.
This is why you were doing makeup
with Stephanie.
You told Stephanie instead of me?
I didn't tell Stephanie. She just saw it.
[man on PA] Lady, it's just a hickey.
I wish I had one.
Stay out of this, nerd.
[man on PA] Resume play.
We're going home, young lady.
Follow me.
[electronic shooting]
Mom, the exit's this way.
Fernando?
Tommy and I have searched the whole house.
We know you're in here.
Where are you, Fernando?
What...?
Fernando, come on out.
You found me!
Now it's your turn to hide.
What is really going on with you?
Why don't you want to stay
at your own house?
I feel so lonely there.
I miss Kimmy and Ramona
and all my friends
and even the little dog Derek.
How can you be lonely?
You live with Jimmy Gibbler.
We only have one thing in common.
We both want to live here.
I feel so deprived of all the love,
and the hugs,
and the musical numbers.
I'll tell you what.
You are totally welcome to come over here
any time you want...
between the hours of nine and six,
while I'm at work.
Thank you, DJ.
Thank you for making me feel
so welcome these past ten months.
No problem.
Even though I was not welcome
at the start.
Because you moved in without asking.
You warmed up to me
the second and third months.
Because you were mostly out of town.
Months four to eight were pretty rocky...
OK. I think we're done here.
But then by month nine,
we were inseparable.
Ramona, go to your room.
I'll be up after I have words
with Stephanie.
[mouthing]
I know all about your hickey hiding.
And your cool aunt talk with my daughter
behind my back.
Kimmy, I told Ramona to talk to you.
Maybe I should have come to you myself,
but she asked me to keep it a secret
and I didn't want to betray her trust.
Don't try using sincerity on me.
If I did the wrong thing,
I am truly, deeply sorry.
And heartfelt apologies?
How dare you?
You're just mad because Ramona
confided in me instead of you.
You want Ramona to come to you
about everything.
You're afraid she's growing up
and you'll drift apart.
And now you resort
to telling me the truth?
I'd be furious if you weren't...
absolutely right about everything.
Thanks, Stephanie.
And by the way, congratulations.
You're rehired.
Wait, when did you fire me?
On the drive home from laser tag,
in my mind.
But now I realize you are
a tremendous asset to this company.
Make me coffee.
Later we'll talk about your paid vacation.
Spoiler alert-- there is none.
[knock on door]
Can I come in?
I don't know why
you're making such a big deal out of this.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I know you didn't.
And I'm sorry I freaked out at laser tag.
I just wish you would have come to me.
I was embarrassed.
Well, don't be.
You can talk to me about anything
and everything.
But I know you have three moms
in this house.
So, if you want to talk to them too,
that's all right.
Thanks, Mom.
So, I don't mean to pry,
but I just need to know.
Were you and Popko...
We were just kissing.
Phew!
Oh, I mean, whatevs.
No, I don't mean whatevs. I mean phew!
Look, I'll try to share more with you.
But you have to promise me one thing.
Anything at all.
Never sing that body-changing song again.
You know I can't promise that.
That's the only song I ever wrote,
and I love it.
But I'll do my best.
Thanks, Mom. I love you.
I love you, too.
-[woman] One, two, three, four...
-[theme music playing]
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
[vocalizes]
♪ Whatever happened to predictability? ♪
♪ The milkman, the paperboy
The evening TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look, everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart
A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look, everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face
Somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
I'm sorry.
I don't care.
Look, I'm really sorry.
I really don't care.
"Sorry" isn't gonna get rid
of this hickey.
Look, it's just...
you're so beautiful,
I got carried away, and...
over-nibbled.
It looks like I made out with a Shop-Vac.
I can't let my parents see this.
They'll freak out.
Unless...
Does my hair cover it?
Not only does it cover it,
but you look hot with a beard.
Hey, guys.
Ramona...
is that some new summer do?
Yes! Yes, it's...
See, it's a ponytail for your chin.
So...
It's...
a chin tail.
Let me try it.
-Then you...
-Uh-huh.
-Like this?
-It looks great!
Yeah?
Oh. Perfect Instagram.
Hashtag, chin tail sisters.
I don't know which one of you is cuter.
It's neck and neck.
See what I did?
Yeah, I saw what you did.
Goodbye, Popko.
It's nice to see Popko's turned
into a little gentleman.
Yes.
Although every once in a while,
he can really suck.
Hey.
All the cool kids are doing it.
So... Well, see ya, Stephanie.
See ya, hickey.
How did you know?
Oh, please.
I am the queen of hiding hickeys.
Who do you think
invented the turtleneck bikini?
I can't believe the neck-kini never
caught on. Might have been the tan lines.
Will you please help me cover this up?
Sure. I got ya.
Thanks, Stephanie.
You know,
you're the coolest she-wolf in the pack.
Oh, why thank you.
You know, I've always said that.
Oh. Can you please
not tell my mom about it?
Well...
If it's really important to you,
I won't tell her.
But I definitely think you should.
Did you tell your dad
about your first hickey?
God, no. I'd still be grounded.
Well, I can't tell my mom.
She'll want to have a hickey talk,
and then a boy talk,
and a "you're-growing-up" talk.
She'll sing that corny song.
♪ Your body is a-changing ♪
♪ Oh, no, awkward ♪
♪ Your parts are rearranging ♪
♪ Your armpits now have hair ♪
[Jackson] What's he gonna do?
Juking the defenders.
He lines up the Oreo, he goes.
he shoots, and he scores!
[cheering]
-[Jackson exclaims]
-Milk me!
Nice one!
He said, "Milk me,"
and then you gave him milk!
[all laughing]
This is why women date older men.
Oh, hello, teens I don't know,
and yet, are eating all my food.
Wow.
You're like a sexy mom
in a tuna fish commercial.
I like this one.
And I do love tuna.
It's a smart choice when I'm on the go.
Why am I explaining this to you?
That's Mankowski,
this is Nugs, and here's Gene.
He's seen every movie ever made.
Oh, hello.
You had me at "hello." Jerry Maguire.
Are you talking to me?
[loudly] Are you talkin' to me?
Taxi Driver.
Oh, OK.
May the force be with you. Star Wars.
I don't like it when other people do it.
Come on, guys. Let's go study.
Oh, Jackson. I am impressed that you guys
are studying on a Saturday.
Well, we kind of forgot to study
Monday through Friday, so...
[all laughing]
Or all last school year.
[all laughing]
Classic Mankowski.
[all laughing]
I'm gonna ask a question,
and I'd like the truth.
Are you all high?
[all laughing]
Oh, Mom.
Jackson's mom, you got it goin' on.
Well, I do Soul Cycle, and...
I try to eat clean and...
Why do I keep explaining myself?
Classic Jackson's mom.
[doorbell rings]
[DJ sighs]
They seem like nice boys.
They're idiots.
Yeah, they are.
It's always open!
Oh, hello, neighbor.
My name is Fernando.
I just moved in next door.
Yes, I know that, Fernando.
I don't want to be an imposition, but...
back in the day, I used to live here.
And I was wondering if I could take a look
around the old place.
You just moved out of here three days ago.
Not much has changed.
Oh, no!
He's back!
My dear friend Max.
Oh!
You're getting so big.
Put. Me. Down.
[gasps]
Be still my heart.
The very couch
where I used to take my siestas.
What is wrong with him?
Well, that's a Pandora's box
you do not want to open.
Memories are flooding back.
Do you remember that Christmas
where we sang carols about the
flying animal with the disfigured face?
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"?
Does that door still lead to the kitchen?
[DJ] Hey, hey, hey!
You know, I just thought of a good memory
we can relive.
Remember that time
that you went out on the front porch?
Sounds familiar.
And then I went back inside?
Uh-huh?
And shut the door?
And then what happened?
You went back to your own house.
[lock clicks]
-That's not how I remember it.
-[door handle rattles]
Hello!
[handle rattles]
Hello!
I thought it was always open.
OK.
A little yellow concealer
to cover up the purple.
And check it out.
It's gone.
It's like Popko's lips
were never even there.
Yeah, I'm like the David Copperfield
of hickeys.
First you see it,
then your parents don't.
Hey, guys.
Hey. What happened to your chin tail?
I just accessorized mine.
Oh. That was so 20 minutes ago.
Are you guys doing makeovers?
Ramona, that's our thing.
Sorry, Mom. I don't have time.
I'm meeting up with Popko
to go play laser tag.
Laser tag?
Ramona, that's our thing.
You say everything is.
Because that's my thing.
Aww. You're growing up so fast.
It seems like yesterday
I was dropping you off at kindergarten
with a backpack that was bigger than you.
Oh, sweet cheese, here come the tears.
[sniffs]
Mom, you should lie down.
I can't.
Steve's coming by to sample wedding cakes.
And then he's gonna get married
and have kids.
And then they'll grow up
and leave him, too.
Go on. I'll deal with this.
There, there.
It's gonna be OK.
I thought you were gonna deal with this?
Well, you stopped crying.
Wow.
She's good.
OK, Tommy, you ready to go?
-Yeah.
-Hold on tight.
[Tommy] Again.
-You want to do it again?
-Yeah.
[DJ] OK.
Why hiding?
Oh. That's not creepy.
Hello, again, neighbor.
May I help you?
Yes, of course I will come over.
No! No!
I did not invite... Hey!
When did you put that gate in?
In the night.
So you would not stop me.
I have a good idea.
Fudgsicles!
No, Fernando!
Hey, you have your own house now
that you need to spend time in.
With your own Fudgsicles.
Fernando.
Where are you?
An open freezer door?
And a single bite of a Fudgsicle?
I knew I shouldn't have let him
in the house.
Fernando!
Hey, I know you're in here.
Give yourself up and go home.
Fernando.
[Kimmy breathes slowly]
Come on, Steve. I have someplace to be.
Pick a wedding cake already.
I am a cake connoisseur.
[sniffs] Ah.
2017 Duncan Hines.
Very good year for red velvets.
Please hurry this up.
I'm not gonna rush this. I picked the
wrong cake the first time I got married.
Now I can't even look at lemon chiffon
without thinking,
"Why didn't I just get a prenup?"
Save it for your therapist.
Pick a frickin' cake.
Here. Brown cake.
-Good one.
-White.
Yellow cake.
Oh, boy.
Kimmy.
What is the big emergency?
I want to surprise Ramona at laser tag.
So, congratulations.
You've been rehired as junior partner
at Gibbler Style Party Planning.
You said you could no longer afford me.
Oh, that won't be a problem.
I cut your pay in half.
Kimmy.
Shh! It is very unprofessional
to argue in front of the client.
You're gonna love my new associate.
She's fabulous.
Take your time,
and no rush with that deposit.
Hurry him up, and get the money now!
OK, people.
So why is Abraham Lincoln important?
Didn't Lincoln invent that job website?
That's LinkedIn.
All right, look, dum-dums.
Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president.
He freed the slaves
and was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth.
-None of that sounds right.
-[boys] Nah.
Hey! Why are you sitting on my unicorn?
And why are you petting my dog?
Come on, Cosmo.
[boys laugh]
What did you do to Cosmo?
I changed his name.
Come here, Derek.
You changed my dog's name?
He told me his real name is Derek.
I can talk to dogs.
But not cats.
[Nugs laughs]
But not cats!
Dude. It's not funny.
We have two cats at home.
I have no idea what they want.
Mom! Mom!
What now, Max?
Fernando's loose in the house.
Jackson's goon squad sat on my unicorn
and renamed my dog.
Make them leave.
You can't kick us out. We're the Six Pack.
Why are you the Six Pack?
There's only four of you.
You want to know why?
So we can do this.
[mimic soda opening]
[glugging]
[mimic crushing can]
That was awesome.
Aww. That was kind of cute.
It was totally lame.
OK, everybody out.
We're trying to study.
Yeah, listen to Jackson.
He's our study-group captain.
He's super brain strong.
We call him "The Professor."
Really?
You call my Jackson "The Professor"?
I'm sure they're using it ironically.
I don't know what "ironically" means.
But you know who would? The Professor.
He already got a D-minus.
With any luck,
he'll help us get a D-minus, too.
Stick with me. It'll happen.
Jackson is a natural-born leader.
What movie is that from?
It's not from a movie.
It's from my heart.
Jackson, why don't you and the guys
order some pizzas? On me.
Oh, awesome, Mom.
Thank you so much.
Classic Jackson's mom.
I'll be 18 in four years.
Wait for me.
Mom, don't feed them.
They'll keep coming back.
Like Fernando.
Oh, honey. Don't you get it?
Those guys...
they make Jackson feel good
about himself.
He's never been the leader.
I bet being top dog feels pretty good.
It does.
And I would know.
Just let Jackson have his Six Pack.
I mean, what are the odds those guys
are gonna be his best friends for life?
Two words.
Kimmy Gibbler.
[electronic shooting]
Ramona?
Ramona?
You're not Ramona.
[in Spanish accent]
Say hello to my little laser.
Hasta la vista, baby!
Hey. Have you seen Ramona?
No! Where's your vest?
There's no way to kill you.
Exactly.
Oh!
Oh, man.
[electronic shooting continues]
Make my day, punk!
Ramona! I found you.
Mom, what are you doing here?
I cut my meeting short.
You kept saying, "This is our thing."
No, that was you.
The important thing
is that you are overjoyed that I'm here.
Hey, what brings you here, Ms. G?
What's wrong with your face?
Uh-oh.
Is my zit cream lighting up?
No time for chit-chat.
We're too exposed.
I'll cover you. Wait for my signal.
Now what are you doing?
Go, go, go!
Mom, you're kind of embarrassing me.
Hey, what's that glowing on your neck?
This?
See, I'm covering a really big neck zit,
and so...
[man over PA] Warning!
Mature woman on the premises.
Possible mom. Time out!
[all groan]
[Kimmy] Wait a minute.
That's not a zit. That's...
That's a hickey.
What?
Who did this to you?
You did.
[gun shoots]
Whoops.
I'm out!
Why didn't you tell me?
Mom, don't freak out.
Don't freak out?
You have a hickey, a boyfriend.
You're growing up.
[to "Camptown Races"]
♪ Your body is a-changing ♪
♪ Oh, no, awkward ♪
♪ Your parts are rearranging ♪
-♪ Your armpits now have hair ♪
-Stop.
♪ What's going on down there? ♪
♪ It's normal, don't be scared ♪
Wait a minute.
This is why you were doing makeup
with Stephanie.
You told Stephanie instead of me?
I didn't tell Stephanie. She just saw it.
[man on PA] Lady, it's just a hickey.
I wish I had one.
Stay out of this, nerd.
[man on PA] Resume play.
We're going home, young lady.
Follow me.
[electronic shooting]
Mom, the exit's this way.
Fernando?
Tommy and I have searched the whole house.
We know you're in here.
Where are you, Fernando?
What...?
Fernando, come on out.
You found me!
Now it's your turn to hide.
What is really going on with you?
Why don't you want to stay
at your own house?
I feel so lonely there.
I miss Kimmy and Ramona
and all my friends
and even the little dog Derek.
How can you be lonely?
You live with Jimmy Gibbler.
We only have one thing in common.
We both want to live here.
I feel so deprived of all the love,
and the hugs,
and the musical numbers.
I'll tell you what.
You are totally welcome to come over here
any time you want...
between the hours of nine and six,
while I'm at work.
Thank you, DJ.
Thank you for making me feel
so welcome these past ten months.
No problem.
Even though I was not welcome
at the start.
Because you moved in without asking.
You warmed up to me
the second and third months.
Because you were mostly out of town.
Months four to eight were pretty rocky...
OK. I think we're done here.
But then by month nine,
we were inseparable.
Ramona, go to your room.
I'll be up after I have words
with Stephanie.
[mouthing]
I know all about your hickey hiding.
And your cool aunt talk with my daughter
behind my back.
Kimmy, I told Ramona to talk to you.
Maybe I should have come to you myself,
but she asked me to keep it a secret
and I didn't want to betray her trust.
Don't try using sincerity on me.
If I did the wrong thing,
I am truly, deeply sorry.
And heartfelt apologies?
How dare you?
You're just mad because Ramona
confided in me instead of you.
You want Ramona to come to you
about everything.
You're afraid she's growing up
and you'll drift apart.
And now you resort
to telling me the truth?
I'd be furious if you weren't...
absolutely right about everything.
Thanks, Stephanie.
And by the way, congratulations.
You're rehired.
Wait, when did you fire me?
On the drive home from laser tag,
in my mind.
But now I realize you are
a tremendous asset to this company.
Make me coffee.
Later we'll talk about your paid vacation.
Spoiler alert-- there is none.
[knock on door]
Can I come in?
I don't know why
you're making such a big deal out of this.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I know you didn't.
And I'm sorry I freaked out at laser tag.
I just wish you would have come to me.
I was embarrassed.
Well, don't be.
You can talk to me about anything
and everything.
But I know you have three moms
in this house.
So, if you want to talk to them too,
that's all right.
Thanks, Mom.
So, I don't mean to pry,
but I just need to know.
Were you and Popko...
We were just kissing.
Phew!
Oh, I mean, whatevs.
No, I don't mean whatevs. I mean phew!
Look, I'll try to share more with you.
But you have to promise me one thing.
Anything at all.
Never sing that body-changing song again.
You know I can't promise that.
That's the only song I ever wrote,
and I love it.
But I'll do my best.
Thanks, Mom. I love you.
I love you, too.
-[woman] One, two, three, four...
-[theme music playing]
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
[vocalizes]