Fuller House (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 18 - Episode #3.18 - full transcript
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
—Good morning, Deej.
—Hey, Kimmy.
Ugh. I feel terrible.
(GASPS) That's wonderful.
Is it morning sickness?
No. I feel terrible
because I feel great.
I still don't think I'm pregnant.
Oh. Now I feel terrible.
I'll know one way or another today.
I got the doctor to squeeze me in.
But don't tell Stephanie.
I don't want her there if it's bad news.
That would break her heart.
What's wrong? Why are we hugging?
We're just hugging goodbye.
I'm off for my morning jog.
In street clothes and high heels?
That's right.
See you in 26 miles.
Okay, take a seat.
I know last night was a little rough,
but today is a new day.
What you need is a healthy breakfast,
do some yoga,
and turn that frown upside down.
Right now.
But only if you want to,
because it's not in my nature
to tell people what to do.
(LAUGHING)
Thanks, Deej.
I needed a good laugh.
(EXHALES)
Morning, Joey.
Morning, Danny.
—Morning, boys.
—(EXCLAIMS)
Jesse?
What are you doing here?
You weren't here
when I tucked Joey into bed last night.
Becky says I snore, so she
told me to come down here.
—I don't snore.
—Yes, you do.
You sound like a leaf blower
with a deviated septum.
(SNORING)
Whoa! Hey, I'm trying to sleep here.
And who was the numbskull
who got up in the middle of the night
and stepped on my head?
Sorry. I thought it was a cantaloupe.
How does that make it okay?
Where did you get that breakfast burger?
No idea. I'm a sleep eater.
JOEY: Sleep eater?
Morning.
Sleeping with you guys
is like snuggling in a pile of puppies.
Don't you have a house next door?
I could not find it in the fog.
Plus, I never miss a slumber party.
And now, it is time for the pillow talk.
So, now that you are
without your talk show,
and you are stuck
with your horrible children,
and your wife told you to go get a job,
what are you all to do?
Guys, are we suddenly a bunch of losers?
Well, we are four men in a bed,
and it's almost noon.
Please, do not feel bad.
Without losers like you,
there could be no winners like me.
So, enjoy your day in bed,
knowing there is no point in getting up.
We're not losers.
—We're doers.
—That's right.
—We do things.
—That's right.
We do things, and we get them done.
All right. What are we gonna do?
I have no idea.
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna grab Becky,
and we're gonna go down
to Wake Up, San Francisco,
and we're gonna get our old jobs back.
That's a good idea, Danny.
You wanna hear our idea?
—Yeah.
—Joey, tell him our idea.
Oh...
We're gonna come up with an idea.
—Eventually.
—That's right. Did you hear that?
Eventually, we're gonna
come up with an idea.
And that eventually
is gonna happen later.
—Let's go.
—Yeah. Let's go. I got an idea.
I'm on your tail.
Yep, ideas are percolating.
But first...
—Put on some clothes.
—That's right. Some shoes.
And I should probably shower
and take out my mouth guard.
It's hard to believe they raised us.
All right.
What do you think? Too much?
Whoa.
I look like a cross
between you and a raccoon.
Okay, ladies. Listen up.
Rocki, I want you to know
that that magical, life-changing kiss
meant absolutely nothing to me.
And number two, Ramona,
you are a friend—snatcher.
Are you reading from a to-do list?
Yeah.
Gotta make sure I covered everything.
Kiss with Rocki no big deal, check.
Ramona equals friend-snatcher, check.
Oh, and number three.
Dramatic storm-out.
Have a nice life.
Or don't.
I don't care.
Check.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Hey, Deej. Could we
talk about last night?
I felt really bad
dropping that bombshell
about moving to LA to be
the foot specialist for the Lakers.
Steve, I understand.
This is a really big opportunity
for you.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
It's always open.
Lonzo Ball of the Los Angeles Lakers.
Steve Hale
of the Bay Area Podiatry Association.
Whoo!
Oh, my God.
Lonzo, this is my favorite girl, D.J.
D.J., this is my favorite feet,
Lonzo Ball.
Wait. How did you find me anyway?
Drones.
That was you. Okay.
Hey, have a seat.
So, the Lakers sent me down here,
you know, to beg you.
We want your strong, yet gentle
hands on our athletes' feet.
Actually, here,
let me just take off my shoe.
All this right here,
this could all be yours.
Hey.
Step back, Lonzo Ball.
I have got sweet feet, too.
Wow.
Look, D.J., I mean, come on.
Your feet are so pretty
and stuff, but...
Look at the size of those metatarsals.
Those babies belong in a foot museum.
Nah. Uh—uh.
Not until we get a commitment.
Okay. I know how to settle this.
Push—up contest, right now.
What are you, chicken? Come on, man.
I ain't chicken.
Ready? Go.
You know, this isn't easy with one shoe.
Fine, I'll make it even.
Look, Lonzo, I love your feet,
but I love her more.
I mean, look at that
upper body strength.
I'm so sorry. My answer is no.
(SCREAMS) Ha-ha-ha!
In your face, rookie.
I mean, good game, playa.
I feel like a dang fool.
I'm the number—two pick again.
Steve, are you sure?
I mean, am I being selfish?
I don't want you to give up your dream.
Are you kidding? You're my dream girl.
You have been since the day we met.
LONZO: Oh, man.
Aw...
Lonzo's crying on the lawn.
You lost, man.
Put your shoe on and go home.
(SINGING) You, you bring me luck...
Steph-o, get ready to be cheered up.
I made you a chocolate peanut butter
banana shake.
Aw.
My boy brought my milkshake to the yard.
And what goes better
with your favorite shake
than a box of kittens?
Aw!
Here's kitty number one.
Here's kitty number two.
Hello, little cuties.
Here's carbon copy of kitty number two.
Hi.
Here's mine.
I dare you to be upset
while playing with these Kitties
and drinking this milkshake.
You're right. It's impossible.
Even if it doesn't work out with Kimmy,
there's still other ways
you can be a mom.
Yeah, you're right.
Look how happy Uncle Jesse
and Aunt Becky are
since they adopted Pamela.
—(PAMELA SCREAMS)
—BECKY: Hey...
Give me back my shoes,
you little monsters.
Give me back... Hey.
Those are very expensive and brand—new.
I'll trade you a kitten for a shoe.
See how fun that looks?
All right. One, two, two
and three back in the box.
—Here we go.
—There we go. Look...
No matter what happens,
you're my person.
Nothing's gonna change that.
You're my person, too.
(MEOWS)
—Uh, Jimmy?
—Yeah, sweetie.
All your kittens have escaped.
Oh, no! Those are rental Kitties.
Here, Kitty.
Ah...
Memories.
Hey, Max. How you doing?
I'm falling apart.
Rose's mom won't let her see me.
We're like Romeo and Juliet.
Why must I be a Fuller,
and Rose a Harbenberger?
O cruel world.
Aw, have a seat, son.
I got something for you.
Chocolate milk. That will cheer you up.
Here you go.
Give me another shot of the moo juice.
Another one. Keep them coming.
Easy there, big guy.
Chocolate milk is a gateway beverage.
Max, don't let life get you down.
Just yesterday,
life punched me in the gut.
And you know what I did?
I said, "Life, what else you got?"
Mom said we had to use
the other bathroom
because you were crying in the shower.
That is not true at all.
I was crying in the bathtub.
But then this morning,
Becky and I went down to the station,
and we asked for our old jobs back.
And how does that help me with Rose?
It doesn't.
I just needed to tell someone.
Well, thanks for the pep talk.
I feel so much better.
—You do?
—No.
I just want this conversation
to be over.
Danny, the station called.
Already? What did they say?
—Hey, guys. We got great news.
—Great news.
We got great news, too.
—What did the station say?
—They want me back.
I knew it. I knew it.
They want me back.
Danny Tanner is back on top.
No, Danny. They want me back.
Oh.
They want me to co-host
a new women's talk show called 7he Gab.
Whoo-hoo!
My wife's working again.
We're back on the gravy train.
(IMITATING TRAIN WHISTLE)
Well, I'm good.
I'm happy for you, Becky.
And I'll just follow my own advice
and drink some chocolate milk,
over here all by myself.
JESSE: Great.
Guess what.
We bought back the Smash Club.
Isn't that fantastic?
Jess, don't you think
that this is something
you and I should have discussed first?
Yes, I do.
I do think that. So, let's discuss it.
What do you think about Joey and I
buying the Smash Club?
—That we already bought.
—That we already bought.
Well, I guess I think it's a great idea,
because we all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
Oh-oh-oh-oh—oh...
Sorry, Danny.
Most of us have jobs.
Most of us have jobs.
What's with all the screaming?
—Most of us have jobs.
—Yeah.
Get this. Joey and I
bought the Smash Club back.
—Oh, congratulations.
—That's amazing.
Hey, why don't we have
the party there tonight?
Oh! Yeah, that would be great.
I won't have to do the dishes.
Yeah. And then I won't have
to hide in the bathroom
until D.J.'s done with the dishes.
And let's everybody Wang Chung tonight
by wearing their best outfits
from the '80s.
That's great. An '80s costume party.
Just when I thought this day
couldn't get any better.
Well, we do have a special mystery guest
waiting for you in the living room.
The Beach Boys?
Even better.
Who's better than the Beach Boys?
I don't know.
—Hi, Danny.
—DANNY: Oh, my God.
The woman I almost married.
Vicki Larson.
This is better than the Beach Boys.
(LAUGHING)
Well, looks like our work here is done.
I wonder who else we can track down.
Wonder what Urkel's up to.
—Aw.
—Aw.
It's so good to see you. You look great.
You look great, too.
Thank you. I guess it's unanimous.
We both look great.
(CHUCKLES)
How did you find me?
Well, it wasn't that hard.
You're still in the same old house.
Well, would you like to have a seat
on the same old couch?
Absolutely.
(CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES)
We had some great times.
You were so funny.
Do you still vacuum
your fridge every day?
No, I'm not that neurotic anymore.
It's every other day.
So what are you up to now?
Well, I'm divorced and unemployed,
and this morning I woke up in bed
with Jesse and Joey
and some guy named Fernando.
Wait. You're still living
with Jesse and Joey?
No, it was just a slumber party
with three or four or five guys,
just trying to stay warm
on a cold, foggy night.
Anyway, this evening,
the girls are throwing
a "Dad-iversary"” party for us
at the Smash Club, if you'd like to go.
You guys are still naming your parties?
And there's still a Smash Club?
Don't tell me Jesse and the Rippers
are playing.
No, I doubt those guys are still alive.
FYI, it's ‘80s themed.
Just like your furniture.
('80S PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
dogs and babies,
may I present the Smash Club.
Man, you tell this family to dress up,
and they don't mess around.
Well, is the Smash Club still radical
or what?
Well, Jess, at the risk of bursting
your bubble, this is a laundromat.
Yes, I know that.
It is now, but Joey and I are gonna
restore it to its former glory.
Well, wouldn't it have been easier
to just buy a nightclub and rename it?
No, it wouldn't have been easier,
because it's too late. We paid cash.
That's how we got an eight—hour escrow.
Who are those guys?
Hey, it's the Rippers.
What are you guys doing here?
It's Saturday night.
We're doing our laundry.
Hey, Ramona. Look, I'm sorry
I called you a friend—snatcher.
That's okay.
I'm sorry I called you a big fat baby.
—When did you call me a big fat baby?
—Just now. To get even.
Rocki, I'm sorry
for going off on you, too.
If you don't wanna be my girlfriend,
then that's cool.
I'm just not really into labels,
so let's just be friends.
Okay.
But can we be friends
who make out once in a while?
Sure, why not?
In that case, let the friendship begin.
Oh!
Can't you guys at least wait
until I'm not staring right at you?
Thank you.
Oh, man. Why are you
dressed like Don Johnson?
Why are you dressed like Don Johnson?
There's only enough room in this place
for one Don Johnson,
and clearly, I am the only one
that looks exactly like Don Johnson.
I think you look very handsome.
Thank you. And you...
Wow. You are a vision in orange.
You know, Steve, I've been thinking
a lot about your job offer,
and I want you to take it.
Wait. But, Deej, we're finally getting
our big chance,
you know, to be together.
Yeah, but I don't want you to miss out,
which is why I called the Lakers,
and told them you're taking the job.
Are you sure?
Absolutely. I support you 100%.
You're worth waiting for.
You're the greatest woman on earth.
—I love you.
—I love you, too.
Six months from now, you and me,
it is on like Donkey Kong.
Uh, can you guys at least wait
until I'm not looking right at you?
—Max!
—Rose!
I thought I'd never see you again.
Did you sneak out?
No. My mom's waiting in the car.
She said I have one hour
before her Xanax wears off
and she regrets ever driving me here.
Who are you supposed to be?
Max C. Hammer.
—Who are you?
—Some lady named Madonna.
She wore a lot of crosses,
so I'm guessing
she was a religious leader.
(GRUNTS)
Why won't it work?
It has the last Mr. Rooty Zero
in the city.
Step aside, shortcake.
Oh!
Hey.
Happy days.
JESSE: Well, the Rippers are waiting
for their laundry to be done.
I got a guitar. Might as well do a song.
Any requests?
Forever. Forever.
Free Bird.
I'll pick the song.
I'd like to dedicate this song
to my girls.
Becky and Pamela, Steph, D.J.,
it's a song about what I like about you.
It's called What / Like About You.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLAPPING IN RHYTHM)
(SINGING) Hey
What I like about you
You hold me tight
Tell me I'm the only one
Wanna come over tonight
Yeah
Keep on whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear
—"Cause it's true
—What I like
—That's what I like about you
—What I like
(YELLING)
(PLAYING HARMONICA)
Keep on whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear
—"Cause it's true
—That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
Hey
(ALL CHEERING)
Girls, come up.
You wanna say something? Come on.
Well, 30 years ago today,
Uncle Jesse and Joey moved in
to help us out for a few weeks,
and they ended up
becoming our second dads.
Yeah.
I mean, we could never
begin to thank you
for what you've done for us,
but just know that
we love you guys very much.
You're about to see
a whole lot more of us,
because me and Becky and Pamela,
we're moving back to San Francisco.
(ALL CHEERING)
And I am also
moving back to San Francisco.
—Oh, my God.
—Joey.
Hey.
With my four incredible children.
(GROWLING) Boo!
Oh, come on.
You know you're all thinking it.
Well, I'm not gonna live in LA
all by myself,
so I'm moving back here, too.
(ALL CHEERING)
Right back in my old house.
(STAMMERS)
You're moving back in with us?
DANNY: I sure am.
I'll just move back into my old bedroom,
and then, you can bunk with D.J.,
just like the good old days.
BOTH: Yeah.
Anyway, I wrote a song
for my three dads,
but really, it applies to all of you.
It's about how you bring me luck.
And it's called You Bring Me Luck.
Yeah.
Thanks, Jess.
(SINGING) // never forget
the way that I felt when I met you first
Nothing was said
but something was there in your smile
I said hello, you said hello
Then we talked for a while
This is so natural
This is so magical
You, you bring me luck
My life has changed so much
Just when I'd nearly given up
You brought me luck
You make your luck
Some say you just get struck
But holding your hand
Makes me understand
You, you bring me luck
My life has changed so much
Just when I'd nearly given up
You brought me luck
You show me love
You bring me luck
(ALL CHEERING)
So, Steph, I kind of did bring you luck.
You're pregnant?
We're pregnant.
We're gonna have a baby!
I'm gonna be a mommy!
I'm gonna be a daddy.
Well, Mr. T.,
now that I'm carrying your grandchild,
we're officially family.
Kimmy, we always were.
Aw...
The Tanner—F uller magic is back!
(ALL LAUGHING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
English — SDH
—Good morning, Deej.
—Hey, Kimmy.
Ugh. I feel terrible.
(GASPS) That's wonderful.
Is it morning sickness?
No. I feel terrible
because I feel great.
I still don't think I'm pregnant.
Oh. Now I feel terrible.
I'll know one way or another today.
I got the doctor to squeeze me in.
But don't tell Stephanie.
I don't want her there if it's bad news.
That would break her heart.
What's wrong? Why are we hugging?
We're just hugging goodbye.
I'm off for my morning jog.
In street clothes and high heels?
That's right.
See you in 26 miles.
Okay, take a seat.
I know last night was a little rough,
but today is a new day.
What you need is a healthy breakfast,
do some yoga,
and turn that frown upside down.
Right now.
But only if you want to,
because it's not in my nature
to tell people what to do.
(LAUGHING)
Thanks, Deej.
I needed a good laugh.
(EXHALES)
Morning, Joey.
Morning, Danny.
—Morning, boys.
—(EXCLAIMS)
Jesse?
What are you doing here?
You weren't here
when I tucked Joey into bed last night.
Becky says I snore, so she
told me to come down here.
—I don't snore.
—Yes, you do.
You sound like a leaf blower
with a deviated septum.
(SNORING)
Whoa! Hey, I'm trying to sleep here.
And who was the numbskull
who got up in the middle of the night
and stepped on my head?
Sorry. I thought it was a cantaloupe.
How does that make it okay?
Where did you get that breakfast burger?
No idea. I'm a sleep eater.
JOEY: Sleep eater?
Morning.
Sleeping with you guys
is like snuggling in a pile of puppies.
Don't you have a house next door?
I could not find it in the fog.
Plus, I never miss a slumber party.
And now, it is time for the pillow talk.
So, now that you are
without your talk show,
and you are stuck
with your horrible children,
and your wife told you to go get a job,
what are you all to do?
Guys, are we suddenly a bunch of losers?
Well, we are four men in a bed,
and it's almost noon.
Please, do not feel bad.
Without losers like you,
there could be no winners like me.
So, enjoy your day in bed,
knowing there is no point in getting up.
We're not losers.
—We're doers.
—That's right.
—We do things.
—That's right.
We do things, and we get them done.
All right. What are we gonna do?
I have no idea.
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna grab Becky,
and we're gonna go down
to Wake Up, San Francisco,
and we're gonna get our old jobs back.
That's a good idea, Danny.
You wanna hear our idea?
—Yeah.
—Joey, tell him our idea.
Oh...
We're gonna come up with an idea.
—Eventually.
—That's right. Did you hear that?
Eventually, we're gonna
come up with an idea.
And that eventually
is gonna happen later.
—Let's go.
—Yeah. Let's go. I got an idea.
I'm on your tail.
Yep, ideas are percolating.
But first...
—Put on some clothes.
—That's right. Some shoes.
And I should probably shower
and take out my mouth guard.
It's hard to believe they raised us.
All right.
What do you think? Too much?
Whoa.
I look like a cross
between you and a raccoon.
Okay, ladies. Listen up.
Rocki, I want you to know
that that magical, life-changing kiss
meant absolutely nothing to me.
And number two, Ramona,
you are a friend—snatcher.
Are you reading from a to-do list?
Yeah.
Gotta make sure I covered everything.
Kiss with Rocki no big deal, check.
Ramona equals friend-snatcher, check.
Oh, and number three.
Dramatic storm-out.
Have a nice life.
Or don't.
I don't care.
Check.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Hey, Deej. Could we
talk about last night?
I felt really bad
dropping that bombshell
about moving to LA to be
the foot specialist for the Lakers.
Steve, I understand.
This is a really big opportunity
for you.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
It's always open.
Lonzo Ball of the Los Angeles Lakers.
Steve Hale
of the Bay Area Podiatry Association.
Whoo!
Oh, my God.
Lonzo, this is my favorite girl, D.J.
D.J., this is my favorite feet,
Lonzo Ball.
Wait. How did you find me anyway?
Drones.
That was you. Okay.
Hey, have a seat.
So, the Lakers sent me down here,
you know, to beg you.
We want your strong, yet gentle
hands on our athletes' feet.
Actually, here,
let me just take off my shoe.
All this right here,
this could all be yours.
Hey.
Step back, Lonzo Ball.
I have got sweet feet, too.
Wow.
Look, D.J., I mean, come on.
Your feet are so pretty
and stuff, but...
Look at the size of those metatarsals.
Those babies belong in a foot museum.
Nah. Uh—uh.
Not until we get a commitment.
Okay. I know how to settle this.
Push—up contest, right now.
What are you, chicken? Come on, man.
I ain't chicken.
Ready? Go.
You know, this isn't easy with one shoe.
Fine, I'll make it even.
Look, Lonzo, I love your feet,
but I love her more.
I mean, look at that
upper body strength.
I'm so sorry. My answer is no.
(SCREAMS) Ha-ha-ha!
In your face, rookie.
I mean, good game, playa.
I feel like a dang fool.
I'm the number—two pick again.
Steve, are you sure?
I mean, am I being selfish?
I don't want you to give up your dream.
Are you kidding? You're my dream girl.
You have been since the day we met.
LONZO: Oh, man.
Aw...
Lonzo's crying on the lawn.
You lost, man.
Put your shoe on and go home.
(SINGING) You, you bring me luck...
Steph-o, get ready to be cheered up.
I made you a chocolate peanut butter
banana shake.
Aw.
My boy brought my milkshake to the yard.
And what goes better
with your favorite shake
than a box of kittens?
Aw!
Here's kitty number one.
Here's kitty number two.
Hello, little cuties.
Here's carbon copy of kitty number two.
Hi.
Here's mine.
I dare you to be upset
while playing with these Kitties
and drinking this milkshake.
You're right. It's impossible.
Even if it doesn't work out with Kimmy,
there's still other ways
you can be a mom.
Yeah, you're right.
Look how happy Uncle Jesse
and Aunt Becky are
since they adopted Pamela.
—(PAMELA SCREAMS)
—BECKY: Hey...
Give me back my shoes,
you little monsters.
Give me back... Hey.
Those are very expensive and brand—new.
I'll trade you a kitten for a shoe.
See how fun that looks?
All right. One, two, two
and three back in the box.
—Here we go.
—There we go. Look...
No matter what happens,
you're my person.
Nothing's gonna change that.
You're my person, too.
(MEOWS)
—Uh, Jimmy?
—Yeah, sweetie.
All your kittens have escaped.
Oh, no! Those are rental Kitties.
Here, Kitty.
Ah...
Memories.
Hey, Max. How you doing?
I'm falling apart.
Rose's mom won't let her see me.
We're like Romeo and Juliet.
Why must I be a Fuller,
and Rose a Harbenberger?
O cruel world.
Aw, have a seat, son.
I got something for you.
Chocolate milk. That will cheer you up.
Here you go.
Give me another shot of the moo juice.
Another one. Keep them coming.
Easy there, big guy.
Chocolate milk is a gateway beverage.
Max, don't let life get you down.
Just yesterday,
life punched me in the gut.
And you know what I did?
I said, "Life, what else you got?"
Mom said we had to use
the other bathroom
because you were crying in the shower.
That is not true at all.
I was crying in the bathtub.
But then this morning,
Becky and I went down to the station,
and we asked for our old jobs back.
And how does that help me with Rose?
It doesn't.
I just needed to tell someone.
Well, thanks for the pep talk.
I feel so much better.
—You do?
—No.
I just want this conversation
to be over.
Danny, the station called.
Already? What did they say?
—Hey, guys. We got great news.
—Great news.
We got great news, too.
—What did the station say?
—They want me back.
I knew it. I knew it.
They want me back.
Danny Tanner is back on top.
No, Danny. They want me back.
Oh.
They want me to co-host
a new women's talk show called 7he Gab.
Whoo-hoo!
My wife's working again.
We're back on the gravy train.
(IMITATING TRAIN WHISTLE)
Well, I'm good.
I'm happy for you, Becky.
And I'll just follow my own advice
and drink some chocolate milk,
over here all by myself.
JESSE: Great.
Guess what.
We bought back the Smash Club.
Isn't that fantastic?
Jess, don't you think
that this is something
you and I should have discussed first?
Yes, I do.
I do think that. So, let's discuss it.
What do you think about Joey and I
buying the Smash Club?
—That we already bought.
—That we already bought.
Well, I guess I think it's a great idea,
because we all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
We all have jobs.
Oh-oh-oh-oh—oh...
Sorry, Danny.
Most of us have jobs.
Most of us have jobs.
What's with all the screaming?
—Most of us have jobs.
—Yeah.
Get this. Joey and I
bought the Smash Club back.
—Oh, congratulations.
—That's amazing.
Hey, why don't we have
the party there tonight?
Oh! Yeah, that would be great.
I won't have to do the dishes.
Yeah. And then I won't have
to hide in the bathroom
until D.J.'s done with the dishes.
And let's everybody Wang Chung tonight
by wearing their best outfits
from the '80s.
That's great. An '80s costume party.
Just when I thought this day
couldn't get any better.
Well, we do have a special mystery guest
waiting for you in the living room.
The Beach Boys?
Even better.
Who's better than the Beach Boys?
I don't know.
—Hi, Danny.
—DANNY: Oh, my God.
The woman I almost married.
Vicki Larson.
This is better than the Beach Boys.
(LAUGHING)
Well, looks like our work here is done.
I wonder who else we can track down.
Wonder what Urkel's up to.
—Aw.
—Aw.
It's so good to see you. You look great.
You look great, too.
Thank you. I guess it's unanimous.
We both look great.
(CHUCKLES)
How did you find me?
Well, it wasn't that hard.
You're still in the same old house.
Well, would you like to have a seat
on the same old couch?
Absolutely.
(CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES)
We had some great times.
You were so funny.
Do you still vacuum
your fridge every day?
No, I'm not that neurotic anymore.
It's every other day.
So what are you up to now?
Well, I'm divorced and unemployed,
and this morning I woke up in bed
with Jesse and Joey
and some guy named Fernando.
Wait. You're still living
with Jesse and Joey?
No, it was just a slumber party
with three or four or five guys,
just trying to stay warm
on a cold, foggy night.
Anyway, this evening,
the girls are throwing
a "Dad-iversary"” party for us
at the Smash Club, if you'd like to go.
You guys are still naming your parties?
And there's still a Smash Club?
Don't tell me Jesse and the Rippers
are playing.
No, I doubt those guys are still alive.
FYI, it's ‘80s themed.
Just like your furniture.
('80S PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
dogs and babies,
may I present the Smash Club.
Man, you tell this family to dress up,
and they don't mess around.
Well, is the Smash Club still radical
or what?
Well, Jess, at the risk of bursting
your bubble, this is a laundromat.
Yes, I know that.
It is now, but Joey and I are gonna
restore it to its former glory.
Well, wouldn't it have been easier
to just buy a nightclub and rename it?
No, it wouldn't have been easier,
because it's too late. We paid cash.
That's how we got an eight—hour escrow.
Who are those guys?
Hey, it's the Rippers.
What are you guys doing here?
It's Saturday night.
We're doing our laundry.
Hey, Ramona. Look, I'm sorry
I called you a friend—snatcher.
That's okay.
I'm sorry I called you a big fat baby.
—When did you call me a big fat baby?
—Just now. To get even.
Rocki, I'm sorry
for going off on you, too.
If you don't wanna be my girlfriend,
then that's cool.
I'm just not really into labels,
so let's just be friends.
Okay.
But can we be friends
who make out once in a while?
Sure, why not?
In that case, let the friendship begin.
Oh!
Can't you guys at least wait
until I'm not staring right at you?
Thank you.
Oh, man. Why are you
dressed like Don Johnson?
Why are you dressed like Don Johnson?
There's only enough room in this place
for one Don Johnson,
and clearly, I am the only one
that looks exactly like Don Johnson.
I think you look very handsome.
Thank you. And you...
Wow. You are a vision in orange.
You know, Steve, I've been thinking
a lot about your job offer,
and I want you to take it.
Wait. But, Deej, we're finally getting
our big chance,
you know, to be together.
Yeah, but I don't want you to miss out,
which is why I called the Lakers,
and told them you're taking the job.
Are you sure?
Absolutely. I support you 100%.
You're worth waiting for.
You're the greatest woman on earth.
—I love you.
—I love you, too.
Six months from now, you and me,
it is on like Donkey Kong.
Uh, can you guys at least wait
until I'm not looking right at you?
—Max!
—Rose!
I thought I'd never see you again.
Did you sneak out?
No. My mom's waiting in the car.
She said I have one hour
before her Xanax wears off
and she regrets ever driving me here.
Who are you supposed to be?
Max C. Hammer.
—Who are you?
—Some lady named Madonna.
She wore a lot of crosses,
so I'm guessing
she was a religious leader.
(GRUNTS)
Why won't it work?
It has the last Mr. Rooty Zero
in the city.
Step aside, shortcake.
Oh!
Hey.
Happy days.
JESSE: Well, the Rippers are waiting
for their laundry to be done.
I got a guitar. Might as well do a song.
Any requests?
Forever. Forever.
Free Bird.
I'll pick the song.
I'd like to dedicate this song
to my girls.
Becky and Pamela, Steph, D.J.,
it's a song about what I like about you.
It's called What / Like About You.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLAPPING IN RHYTHM)
(SINGING) Hey
What I like about you
You hold me tight
Tell me I'm the only one
Wanna come over tonight
Yeah
Keep on whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear
—"Cause it's true
—What I like
—That's what I like about you
—What I like
(YELLING)
(PLAYING HARMONICA)
Keep on whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear
—"Cause it's true
—That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
Hey
(ALL CHEERING)
Girls, come up.
You wanna say something? Come on.
Well, 30 years ago today,
Uncle Jesse and Joey moved in
to help us out for a few weeks,
and they ended up
becoming our second dads.
Yeah.
I mean, we could never
begin to thank you
for what you've done for us,
but just know that
we love you guys very much.
You're about to see
a whole lot more of us,
because me and Becky and Pamela,
we're moving back to San Francisco.
(ALL CHEERING)
And I am also
moving back to San Francisco.
—Oh, my God.
—Joey.
Hey.
With my four incredible children.
(GROWLING) Boo!
Oh, come on.
You know you're all thinking it.
Well, I'm not gonna live in LA
all by myself,
so I'm moving back here, too.
(ALL CHEERING)
Right back in my old house.
(STAMMERS)
You're moving back in with us?
DANNY: I sure am.
I'll just move back into my old bedroom,
and then, you can bunk with D.J.,
just like the good old days.
BOTH: Yeah.
Anyway, I wrote a song
for my three dads,
but really, it applies to all of you.
It's about how you bring me luck.
And it's called You Bring Me Luck.
Yeah.
Thanks, Jess.
(SINGING) // never forget
the way that I felt when I met you first
Nothing was said
but something was there in your smile
I said hello, you said hello
Then we talked for a while
This is so natural
This is so magical
You, you bring me luck
My life has changed so much
Just when I'd nearly given up
You brought me luck
You make your luck
Some say you just get struck
But holding your hand
Makes me understand
You, you bring me luck
My life has changed so much
Just when I'd nearly given up
You brought me luck
You show me love
You bring me luck
(ALL CHEERING)
So, Steph, I kind of did bring you luck.
You're pregnant?
We're pregnant.
We're gonna have a baby!
I'm gonna be a mommy!
I'm gonna be a daddy.
Well, Mr. T.,
now that I'm carrying your grandchild,
we're officially family.
Kimmy, we always were.
Aw...
The Tanner—F uller magic is back!
(ALL LAUGHING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
English — SDH