Fuller House (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 16 - Happily Ever After - full transcript

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Hey, how are you doing
with those carrots?

Coming right up.

Oh! Busy day. Busy week.

—Hi, Kimmy.
—Hey, Deej.

I'm guessing you had Stephanie's embryos
implanted today.

That's so exciting.

Yep, and per doctor's orders,

Kimmy's been lying with her legs up
for the last six hours.

You wouldn't believe how much gum
is stuck under this table.

Huh... It's gross.



But convenient.

I'll be so glad when you and Steve
can finally start dating,

because this countdown
calendar is kinda goofy.

Aw, I think it's kind of cute.

And there's only two more days to go.

Hey, guys. Hey, Mom.

No dinner for me. I'll just
grab something at the homecoming game.

Aren't you gonna ask
why I'm lying on the floor?

I've learned to stop asking questions.

Honey, I'm so prou...

I'm so prou... (GRUNTS)

I'm so proud of you, honey.

Being in charge of the homecoming dance.

Are you sure you don't need my help?



Nope, I have everything under control.

Rocking DJ, check.

Sweet decorations, check.

Awesome dress on hold.

Mom, I need a check.

But I don't have my check book.

Oh, just so happens
I have it right here.

Just sign your name,
and I'll fill in the rest.

It's so nice to be needed.

Thanks, Mom. I love you.

(TIMER DINGS)

Sweet cheese, I'm free.

—You ready?
—Okay. There we go.

There we go.

(STRAINING)

Usually getting pregnant
is a lot more fun.

Whoa!

I can't feel my legs.

Hey, guys. Hey, Kimmy.

Aren't you gonna ask
why I'm walking so weird?

I've learned to stop asking questions.

Hi, Jackson's mom.

Hello, MankowskKi.

Wanna be my date
to the homecoming dance?

Mankowski, pay close attention.

This is never gonna happen.

Do you understand?

I do.

So, shall we meet at the dance
or grab a bite on the way?

Okay.

We'll meet there.

That's how it's done.

Nothing was done.

Did you ask Rocki to the dance yet,
or are you scared?

—Pfft. I'm not scared.
—Scared of what?

(GASPS LOUDLY)

—Hey, Rocki.
—You ready for some football?

—Oh. You like football?
—No, football is for Neanderthals.

I just like to party
under the bleachers.

Ask her.

So, Rocki,

you wanna check out
the homecoming dance?

You know, like, together?

High school dances
are such a clichéd social ritual.

You're not actually going, are you?

I kind of have to.

Ramona's planning it.

And I'm obligated, because
Jackson's mom really wants to go.

Oh, no. Not what I said.

So, you realize
the way this is going with your mom,

I could be your dad.

(DOOR BELL RINGS)

That's us, Steph. Look alive.

What are you talking about?

We have a last-minute meeting with our
client for tomorrow's birthday party.

Why didn't you tell me about this?
How rude.

I was a little preoccupied
getting your eggs inside my basket.

Oh. Well, in that case, how sweet.

Now, bring your A game.

Dakota Buchanan
is the biggest tastemaker

in the entire Bay Area.

Hi, you must be Dakota.

I'm Dakota.

This is Susan, my driver.

And my mother.

Please, come in.

You may come in, Susan.

Normally, she waits in the car.

Hey, Dakota.

Oh, hi, Max.

You look handsome, as always.

Not that I stare at you in class.

Or write,
"Dakota plus Max equals true love."

Inside a heart, like a million times.

Dakota, we have discussed this.

I have a girlfriend.

For now.

Okay.

Well, see you at the party.

And no plus ones.

And don't forget,
it's a fairy—tale theme.

Oh, don't worry.
I'll be dressed as a prince.

But when am I not?

(LAUGHING)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Okay, Gibbler.

Entertainment. Go.

Okay.

Well, as promised, we have a castle,

the jugglers, a unicorn...

A wand-making station,
face—painting artists...

Nix the face painting.

I'm ten, not eight.

And if you show me balloon animals,
you're fired.

Okay.

I'm the princess of this party,
so show me my fairy godmothers.

Well, the real fairy godmothers
aren't here,

but I can show you
what they'll be wearing.

I don't want to see them on hangers.

I want to see them
on godmothers right now,

or I'm gonna scream
for, like, five straight minutes.

Not a problem, Dakota.

Just give me a second.

What a delightful little girl.

Why is there a clown
helping me dry the dishes?

I'll explain later.

I need a little, bitty,
teeny—tiny favor.

And by that, you mean a huge favor.

Of course.

—(HONKING)
—Oh.

It's up the stairs and to your left.

What grown woman
would want to dress like this?

Look at me.
I'm a beautiful fairy godmother.

I never want to take this off.

I'm not hating this.

They're just like in the story.

My three fairy godmothers are magical
and glittery and old.

I wish I had a poison apple.

Now, show me the singing
and the dancing. Go.

What singing and dancing?
I'm just here to sparkle.

Just improvise.

(SINGING)
We are three fairy godmothers

Who make wishes come frue

For beautiful princesses just like you

We wave our wands

And your life will be sunny

Yeah, and you'll meet a prince
with a buttload of money

There will be joy and laughter

And Princess Dakota will live

Happily ever after

Susan, clap.

That's enough.

(IN SING-SONG) We'll see you three
at the party tomorrow.

Oh, no.

I think you misunderstood.

We're not the real fairy godmothers.
We're just showing you the dresses.

Do it, or Susan won't write the check.

And you will have makeup on, right?

Oh. No, we do have makeup on.

I'll send someone over.

She really is delightful.

(LAUGHING)

You know, I'm not sure if we're
beautiful fairy godmothers

or contestants on RuPaul's Drag Race.

Prince Maxwell has arrived.

Wow. You look fantastic.

Oh, this old thing?

It's been sitting in
my closet for years.

Finally, an excuse to wear it.

ALL: Aw...

My baby looks so beautiful.

Thank you.

And you guys look so...

Hairy.

Well, I better get going.
Good luck with your party.

Good luck to you, too, honey.

I don't need luck.

This is gonna be
the best homecoming dance ever,

because the theme is
"Best Homecoming Dance Ever."

Remember, if you need me,
I'm just a phone call away.

Mom, I got this.

Of course you do.

Party planning is in the Gibbler DNA.

So is female pattern baldness.

But I'm okay,
because it skips a generation.

Good to know.

Bye.

And now, entering the track,

the newest member of Team Fernando,

Turbo Tommy.

Ah...

Turbo Tommy will be driving

a baby Formula One race car.

Vroom...

His opponent today is Cosmo,

AKA the Fast and the Furriest.

Vroom...

On your mark, get set,

go.

Look at Tommy go.

His four wheels
are faster than four legs.

Cosmo takes an early pit stop,

and Turbo Tommy wins.

I win.

Yes, you win.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey. You showed up.

Yeah. I came to make fun of the dance.

But this is way too easy.

Boring streamers,

generic balloons,

and of course,

the mandatory punch bowl.

Now all I need is some peppy go—getter
telling me to have fun.

Hey, Bayview Sharks. Time to have fun.

Fins up.

Okay, so we're not doing that.
(CLEARS THROAT)

Too bad we lost the football game,
but good news,

our quarterback is out of the hospital
and breathing on his own.

Yay.

So, what do you say
we get this party started?

Woo—-hoo!

(PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)

Come on, everyone, dance.

Okay, so we're not doing that, either.

Hey, Jackson. Your mom stood me up.

She didn't even call me to cancel.

We are through.

She doesn't have your number.

Oh, so she had no way to reach me.

Okay, we're back on.

Hey, guys.

Chad Brad Bradley,
dance team captain, here.

This dance is dead.

But great news,
my parents left for the weekend,

so I have an empty house, a hot Jacuzzi

and a fridge full of cold "root beer."

Party time at CBB's.

ALL: Woo!

ALL: CBB. CBB. CBB.

Chad, what are you doing?
This was just about to get lit.

It's lame.

Just come to my house.

I can't leave. I planned this party.

Somebody planned this?

You may want to skip school on Monday.

Do you want me to stay here with you
and pretend to have fun?

No, you can go.

She said we can go.

Woo—-hoo!

You can go, too.

Perfect.

(LAUGHTER)

Hey there, Cinderella.

Aren't you supposed to be at the ball?

Oh. I just came back early

because I got tired
of people congratulating me.

Who am I kidding?

My party was the worst homecoming ever.

Oh...

What happened?

(CRYING) Boring, and then Chad...

And the hot tub.

—And then the nerd.
—Oh, no.

What is she talking about?

Ramona's dance was boring.

Chad Brad Bradley's parents left town,

so he heated up the hot tub

and invited everybody to his house
for a rager.

And even the nerd left the party.

She just told you the whole story.
Why did you make me repeat it?

Remember when I told you
I didn't need your help?

Turns out I really did.

You still need me.

Honey, I know you're having
a terrible night,

but you just made mine so happy.

Now, snap out of it.

Gibblers don't give up
when parties go down the toilet.

We grab a plunger and start plunging.

It's too late.

Everyone hated my dance,
and now they hate me.

Oh, oh. Hold on.

You have three fairy godmothers
right here,

who can cast a magical spell

and make everything all better.

You do realize
you're not actually a fairy godmother.

I am if I believe.

Now, come on, we can
fix this for Ramona.

Kimmy, you're an amazing party planner.

I am a great organizer.
And, Steph, you...

You...

Know how to party.

Behold,

Ramona Gibbler's new and improved

"Happily Ever After" homecoming dance.

This is unbelievable.

I love it.

Even Buttercup's here.

How did you guys do this so quickly?

Uh—uh.

A fairy godmother
never reveals her secrets.

The secret is,

I let them borrow my party
on one condition.

Your prince is here, Princess Dakota.

I'm waiting.

You owe me big time for this one.

Thank you for doing this.

I love you guys so much.

It's just...

You know, it's too bad
that no one's here to enjoy it.

Uh—uh—uh.

Not so fast.

How did you pull this off?

We cast a spell on the cops

and had them shut down Chad's party.

Jackson's mom.

You showed up.

But in the future, you don't have to

put on all this makeup
just to impress me.

I'll remember that next time.

There's a next time? Really?

No.

Disappear.

Rocki.

Mom. What are you doing here?
I thought you were on a date.

I was, but Stephanie needed my help
making a little girl's wish come true.

Now the outfit makes
a little more sense.

Gia, thank you so much.

I really appreciate this.

You're lucky my date passed out
on my couch.

Okay, godmothers.
Let's make some more magic.

Bayview High, welcome to your
"Happily Ever After" Homecoming.

(ALL CHEERING)

How awesome is Ramona Gibbler

for putting together this magical night?

(APPLAUDING)

And we are Girl Talk.

But tonight, we're The Godmotherz.

With a "z." ‘Cause that's cool.

All right. Two, three, four.

(SINGING)

I gotta admit, Gibbler, I'm impressed.

Guess it's safe for me
to go to school on Monday.

I heard your party got shut down.

Yeah, some old ladies called the cops.

Then we heard
there was a dancing unicorn here.

There is.

Look...

I'm sorry I hijacked your party earlier.

You wanna dance?

Actually, I'm kind of
in a long-distance relationship

with my famous boyfriend.

He's a pop star in Japan.

His name is Marius Yo.

He's in the band Sexy Zone.

You could have just said no.

You didn't have to make up
some crazy story.

No, he's real.

But I guess one dance couldn't hurt.

Cool.

Look at all these losers pretending
to have fun.

I think they actually are having fun.

What are you saying? You wanna dance?

Yeah, why not?

That's why not.

I'm kidding. Come on. Let's have fun.

Hey, Deej.

Steve, what are you doing here?

Look, I have to talk to you
about something right now.

What is so im...

Three, two, one.

Wow. What was that all about?

It's midnight. We're officially dating.

This is it. This is
the beginning of our happily ever after.

My Prince Charming.

I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I fried

Then I saw her face

‘Cause I'm a believer

Without a frace

Of doubt in my mind

I'm in love

I'm a believer

I'm a believer

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

English — SDH