Fuller House (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Legend of El Explosivo - full transcript

Stephanie has a suprise for the whole family: tickets for Lucha Kaboom, a Mexican wrestling show where they perform dangerous tricks. Everyone is excited. Especially Jackson, who is doing some dangerous tricks himself with his friends after school. DJ finds out and Jackson is grounded. But then Jackson comes up with a plan to still see Lucha Kaboom.

Kimmy, what is all this stuff?

The greatest shopping experience
of my life.

It's called the 89 Cents store
and guess what?

Everything's 89 cents?

It's awesome. I'm never going back
to that snooty 99 Cents store.

- I got it! That's the dance team.
- I bought some cookies for you guys.

Mom, you couldn't get the real thing?

Once they're on the platter, your friends
will never know the difference.

You just can't eat them
near an open flame.

- Hey, guys!
- Hi, Mom. Going to study. Bye, Mom.

Hold on. It's 90 degrees out
and you have a jacket on.



And that's not even your jacket.
What's going on?

You're always so suspicious!

Can't I just be wearing my friend's jacket
'cause it's National Jacket Swapping Day?

What are you up to?

Jackson, you're all banged up.

- What happened?
- Oh, nothing.

Max, what happened?

He skateboarded off Bobby Popko's
tool shed and wiped out.

- Max!
- Sorry.

Here's your "don't tell Mom"
Jolly Ranchers back.

Okay, have a seat.

You know what, you guys?

Every time you're at that Bobby Popko's
house, something bad happens.

- Aren't his parents around?
- Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.



They're very responsible people.

- Max?
- They're never home.

Here's your Skittles.

Until I talk to his parents,
you are not allowed at the Popkos'.

What? That's bogus!

Yeah, that's bogus!
Can I have the Skittles back?

Boys, who's your favorite aunt?
No need to answer. I know it's me.

Okay, I am deejaying at Lucha Kaboom
and I got us all tickets.

- Wow! That's amazing!
- Oh, my gosh!

I get to go to Lucha Kaboom?

What's Lucha Kaboom?

It's Mexican wrestling. It's got crazy
outfits, crazy stunts and crazy chickens.

And guess who's headlining?
King Jaguarito.

- Oh, my gosh!
- That is so cool!

Who's King Dorito?

Mom, he's not a corn chip.

He's king of the jaguars
and he's my favorite wrestler!

Oh. Well, as a veterinarian,

I am always in favor of raising awareness
for endangered jungle cats.

Yeah, 'cause that's what wrestling
is all about.

- Great!
- Good job!

Snack break!
I have some classic authentic Oreos.

Oh. Hang on.

That's a precaution
I would take with any cookie.

Enjoy.

Don't do it!
There ain't no cookie in those cookies.

Great news! Your uniforms came in!
Check out the logo on the front!

- That looks awesome!
- And the team sponsor on the back.

I know.
They made it smaller than I wanted.

Guys, we need a big finish. We've gotta
find something no one's ever seen before.

This is your lucky day.

I'm gonna share with you
my guaranteed big-finish showstopper.

- Mom, that's really not necessary.
- Yes, it is.

I present to you the Gibbler gallop.

Five, six, seven, eight and sparkle.
Sparkle!

And gallop and gallop.

Now spank.

I understand,
it looks impossible to master.

However, two or three hours of practice,
and you'll be doing this in your sleep.

That's where nightmares belong.

Come on, girls. Giddyup. Ready?

Five, six, seven, eight and sparkle.
Yes, sparkle.

And giddyup! Come on! Yeah! That's it!

More energy, Ramona! Come on! Whoo!

D.J., you have got to see this.

This kid put his history report
on a flash drive

and his wiener dog swallowed it.

So it finally happened.
A dog actually ate a kid's homework.

What are you doing?

I'm installing an app
to keep track of Jackson.

- You're stalking your kid?
- No, don't be ridiculous.

I'm just watching what he does
all the time without his knowledge.

So you're stalking your kid?

Look, Jackson's
in this crazy Jackass phase.

He and his bad-news buddy Bobby Popko,

like that name doesn't have trouble
written all over it,

they're always doing stupid stuff.

Here, look at Jackson
on Popko's YouTube channel.

Do it, dude.

Yeah, man! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

That's awesome.

No, dumb and dangerous!

Come on, D.J. You have three boys.
You better get used to it.

I mean, this is what guys do.
We're idiots.

You don't have kids.
You don't know what it's like to be a mom.

And you don't know
what it's like to be a boy, so there.

Oh!

Look! Jackson just showed up at Popko's
house and he knows he's not allowed.

I'm going down there.

Now you're gonna embarrass the poor kid
in front of his friends?

No, I'm gonna show up unannounced,
drag him out by his ear

and make him walk home
while I drive behind him.

You're looking good, Max.

We'd better run our safety tests.

- Did it hurt?
- Not a bit.

Safety test is a go!

Lay down on this target, kid.

- Do it, dude!
- Prepare to be El Explosivo-ed!

Oh, my Gosh!

- Jackson!
- Hi, Mom!

- That better not be your brother.
- Hi, Mom.

Max, are you okay?

I'm fantastic!

You boys know
you're not supposed to be here.

Jackson said you gave us permission.

And now you lied?

In my defense,
how did you even know I was here?

Dude, your mom's a vet.
She must have dog-chipped you.

I did not dog-chip him.
I used mother's intuition.

Which is the name of the app I used
to track you.

You can forget about going
to Lucha Kaboom.

- What?
- And where are your parents?

My mom just stepped out.
She'll be back the minute you leave.

I'm on to you, Popko.

Let's go, boys.

Mom!

Mom, a little help, please!

- Great!
- That was so good!

Thank you for sparing us
from the Gibbler gallop.

Rihanna and I worked these moves out
in a club in Lisbon,

whereas the Gibbler gallop
was developed in a barn.

Excuse me. Why are you sneaking
a rehearsal in your bedroom?

Um, Stephanie was just helping us
make the moves a little... cooler.

Cooler, huh? Hey... You want cool moves?

Put your parkas on
'cause here comes the Running Man.

And the Carlton.

Stop! Hammer time!

Kimmy... Kim...

Let's face it, okay?
You're stuck in the '90s.

The '90s? As if!

My moves are all that and a bag of chips,
so talk to the hand, loser!

Oh, snap! You go, girl!
I think I just did!

Well, we have some great news
here in the present.

I talked to the promoter
and how would you girls like to do

a little in-between match performance
at Lucha Kaboom?

- That would be great!
- Awesome!

Hey!

I didn't see the Gibbler gallop
in that routine, so I have to say, "Whoa!"

Mom, you are so good at...

driving us around and getting us snacks

that we've decided
to make you president of that.

Congratulations!

And we're making Stephanie
Vice President of Hot Dance Moves.

Oh!

I humbly accept the position.

If that's how you all feel,
I'll just step aside.

But for the record,
I am not stuck in the '90s.

This is all '80s, baby.

Look at you, doing the Gibbler gallop!

Yeah! And sparkle, and sparkle!

And gallop, and gallop and smack, smack.

There you are!

Hi! Grandma and Grandpa Fuller
are so excited to babysit you.

Here you go, Mom. Coffee with a hint
of almond milk, just the way you like it.

Jackson, thank you for the coffee
and for doing the dishes.

And for breakfast in bed.

But you're still not going.

Well, that's perfect!
You know, I don't even wanna go.

It sounds boring.
How's that for reverse psychology?

A little tip: when you're using reverse
psychology, don't say you're using it.

How am I to know?
I'm not a reverse psychologist!

Coach, we're all so excited
to go to Lucha Kaboom.

- We never could have done it without you.
- You're welcome.

Aw... Yes, Stephanie, you're so wonderful.

- Are you still mad about the dance thing?
- Don't be silly!

Check this out!

Aunt Stephanie got me
an official King Jaguarito costume!

You're the best!

"Look at me! I'm Aunt Stephanie!
I can do everything!

Everyone loves me.

I have big boobs."

Okay, not that this
isn't a wonderful topic, but...

Max, you look so jungly.

Well, Jackson and I added the skull
and some fake blood to the king's bone.

Some of the blood's real. I cut myself
opening the fake-blood packaging.

Oh. Boo-hoo.

Let's go.

I got the keys and the snacks because
apparently that's all I'm good for.

Goodbye, everybody.
I hope you don't have a good time.

Don't worry, when I get home

I'll tell you about every unbelievable,
unforgettable, super-cool moment!

That didn't cheer you up, did it?

Come on, Max. Sorry, Jackson.

Buenos días and welcome to Lucha Kaboom!

The only Mexican wrestling league
that is too dangerous for Mexico itself.

Now, please welcome Los Pollos Locos!

Holy chalupas!
This is the greatest day of my life!

Okay, team, you guys go on in two minutes.

- Where's Sara?
- She just texted.

Sara ate some bad pollo
and her butt went loco.

But our dance needs four people.

Stephanie, you know all the moves.
Will you please do it?

Look, as your coach, I have to advise you
to get the best dancer available

and she's sitting right next to you.

Well, well, well.

Look who comes crawling back
to Kimmy Gibbler.

I'm in!

I know what you're thinking.
I swear I did not poison Sara.

Okay. Come on. Let's go.

It's time for the King Jaguarito
costume contest.

The winner will be selected
by King Jaguarito himself!

And here he comes!

The greatest luchador in luchador history.

We have a winner,
King Jaguarito-ito!

Congratulations, Mini-Me.

You're my hero. You're little
like me, but you're a champion.

Don't judge me by my size.

Judge me by the size of the heart I rip
from my opponent's chest.

That's beautiful.

I would be honored to have you pound
someone senseless with my club.

I'll take it!
I love how you pimped out my club.

I gotta get a picture!

- Okay, let's go to our seat.
- Lady, wrong little person.

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome our special guests,

the Van Atta Middle School dance team!

Sponsored by Gibbler Style Party Planning!
$5 off your next quinceañera.

You guys wanna see more?

But we don't have any more.

Oh, yes, we do. Right, Mom?

Give me a back beat
and put some stank on it!

Now spank!

Okay, let's review the Popko plan.

Put on the mask
and sneak into the wrestling match.

And I leave my phone here
because my mom tracks me.

As if I can't be trusted!

Here's the genius part.

I strapped the phone to the dog's collar,

so your mom
will think you're moving around.

Why don't you hold it and move around?

Do you wanna tell him
he's not part of the plan?

Okay, the dog's in.

Now go!

And now to take on Los Pollos Locos,

give it up for your heroes, Los Calaveras!

These chickens are mucho sneaky!

Boo! No!

Wait, I'm confused.
I thought we liked the crazy chickens.

No, not anymore.
Now we love Los Calaveras.

But they're skeletons!

They're good skeletons,
guitar-playing skeletons in shiny suits.

Why is this so hard for you?

All I know is Jackson
would have loved this.

Oh! Did you see what that chicken did?
Boo, chicken!

Deej, I think
Jackson's learned his lesson.

Cut him some slack and get him down here.

You're right. I'm gonna call him.

Do not answer that.

These chickens are bad eggs!

I mean, that is very foul play!

Look. Help is on the way!

Your hero King Jaguarito
is here to save the day.

Oh! The king El Explosivo hit 'em
right in the chicken tenders.

But what is this?

Oh, the king is in trouble.

He's taking a vicious chicken-lickin'.

He's being pounded and deboned.

That's Max's club.
Max, what are you doing in there?

Oh. Who is this young Jaguarito wannabe?

He seems to have
no wrestling skills whatsoever!

Oh, boy! They are about
to perform the ultimate humiliation!

The unmasking!

- Jackson?
- Max?

Jackson's not picking up.
Something's wrong.

Yeah, he's getting his butt kicked
by some crazy chickens.

Hang on, Jackson! Momma's comin'!

Take your hands off my son,
you damn dirty chickens!

An unknown wrestler
has just entered the ring!

Who is this brave señorita
with a death wish?

There is a foxy lady in the hen house.

Nice! Go, Mom!

Get 'em, Mom!

Right in the Chicken McNuggets.

Dios mío, look at her go.

She's whipping up
a chopped chicken salad out there.

This has never been attempted!

They're going for a double El Explosivo!

Oh! They did it!

Ladies and gentlemen, you've just
witnessed Lucha Kaboom history.

It's a double pin for the win.

Our winners are King Jaguarito and...

What do you call yourself,
brave señorita?

Just a mom who loves her son.

Mamacita del Amor!

Come on in. We need to talk.
Then I need a hot bath.

Mom, you went nuts in there.

How do you know all of those moves?

I don't know.

Once I saw you were in trouble,
my momma bear instincts just kicked in.

After that, it was a blur,
just a bunch of feathers

and then someone offered me a one-year
contract to be Mamacita del Amor.

Ah! You should totally do it.

Mexican wrestling
doesn't pay as much as you'd think.

- Let's talk about you.
- I know. I shouldn't have snuck out.

I'm very sorry.

- Okay, good talk. Let's hug it out.
- Uh...

Nice try. There are gonna be consequences.

I just don't understand.

You've been lying.

You've been getting hurt sneaking out,
doing these crazy stunts.

- What's been going on with you lately?
- I'm just trying to have fun.

Why do you have to be
so tough on me all the time?

Maybe it's because
you're so much like your dad.

What's wrong with that?

Dad was awesome
and he did risky stuff every day.

Well, he was a fireman
and that was part of his job.

But you're just being reckless.

And I just love you so much. I never want
anything bad to happen to you.

I get it.
I'll try to be a little more careful.

A lot more careful.

And I'll try to be
a little less overprotective.

A lot less overprotective.

We'll start with a little.
Bring in the hug.

Oh! Careful!
I caught a chicken wing to the neck.

Oh, hey. And do me a favor.

Stay away from that Popko kid.
There's something not right with him.

Mom, he's my best friend.
He's my Kimmy Gibbler.

That drought thing is such a scam.

I just took a 90-minute shower.