Full House (1987–1995): Season 8, Episode 21 - Leap of Faith - full transcript

Jesse tries to stop Rebecca from bungee jumping--but thinks it's okay if he takes risks. Michelle cons her dad into letting her go to a rock concert. (Original Broadcast: Season 8, Episode 21)

Hey, gang, how about a big
family hug for Mr. Motocross.

Give me a hug, boys, come on.

[GROWLS PLAYFULLY]

Beck, I can't help noticing this is
only three quarters of a big family hug.

And I can't help noticing
that you are an hour late.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart, I
got a severe case of helmet hair.

You know, you can't
just comb that away.

I had to shampoo in
the drinking fountain.

Well, I was worried.
Please explain to me...

why a father of two and a husband
of one suddenly feels the need...

to risk his neck speeding
around on a motorcycle...



with a bunch of other yahoos.

Okay, I'll explain.
Because I like it.

Oh, that's mature.

What do you mean a bunch
of other yahoos? I'm a yahoo?

BECKY: Yes, because you're a yahoo for...
- They're fighting.

Let's go flush something.

You know there's always been a
part of me that loves taking risks.

It makes me feel alive. It takes the
everydayness out of the everyday.

Well, what happens when
motocross get boring, huh?

Where do you draw the line?
Bullfighting? Hang-gliding? Nude welding?

Line drawn right there.

You know, my
uncle Spiros, right?

Never took a risk in his life.

One day he walks out his
front door and boom! He's dead.



- Heart attack?
- No, he lived in a Winnebago.

See he was going 60, opened the door,
he went out... It's not a pretty sight.

The point I'm trying to make here is
that there are no guarantees in life.

I say every once in a
while you gotta take a risk.

[TOILET FLUSHING]

Guess what we flushed?

I'm gonna go take
a risk right now.

Hi, guys.

[TV PLAYING]

Something you don't see
every day, a nun with a goatee.

This is The Jerry Springer Show.

- D.J., Stephanie, tomorrow night, no TV.
- That's not fair.

Joey, what are you...?

Because you have two tickets to see
your favorite group, Counting Crows.

Joey, I love them. I
listen to them all the time.

My friends are going. It's sold
out. Where did you get these?

Well, I won a little sub-eating
contest at El Bloto's Sub Shop.

I polished off an entire Mega
Meaty in less than a minute.

You ate a sub
just to win tickets?

Well, the truth is I...

You didn't even know
there was a contest, did you?

Wanna go to the concert or not?

Wait a minute, how come Steph
and D.J. get to go and not me?

You're not into
that kind of music.

Sure I am. I listen
to it all the time.

- You do not.
- Do too.

- Don't. Don't.
- Do. Do.

Girls, that's enough.

Okay, we've heard your opening
statements, and I think Michelle is right.

- We have to do what's fair.
- We're always fair.

Okay, we've got three girls
and two tickets. Any ideas?

Yeah, yeah, I got an idea.

Girls, in my pocket I
have three Licorice Whips.

One of them, I should
add, is half-eaten. Ahem.

Now, whoever gets that one,
well, you don't go to the show.

- All right, I'm going.
- I'm going too.

Every time you're
fair, I get the shaft.

I'm sorry, Steph. You know
there'll be other concerts.

Steph, if it makes you feel any
better, you can have that Licorice Whip.

Yay, my favorite
flavor, slobber and lint.

D.J., there's gonna be
a big crowd there, okay?

So I want you to keep your
eyes on Michelle every second.

I don't want her coming home
with anything pierced or tattooed.

Great. When did this
turn into a babysitting job?

All my friends are gonna be
there, there's gonna be a party after.

I'll bring Twister.

Oh, now I'm feeling better.

I'm sorry, you gotta handle
this. Life isn't always fair.

It was two minutes ago.

Just the way it worked
out. If you'll excuse us...

Joey and I are gonna go upstairs
and retrieve a corn dog from a sink trap.

We are?

Yes, and then I'm gonna teach
you how to shave without eating.

Hey, if my dad couldn't do it,
there's no way you can do it.

This is great. I'm
gonna call Lisa.

Maybe she can tell me
who the Counting Cows are.

Counting Cows?
It's Counting Crows.

You've never even heard of them.

I'll hear them at the concert.

I can't believe
it. The little liar.

- We're both totally burned.
- Yeah.

[SIGHS]

What if Michelle had to give me
her ticket because she couldn't go?

Sounds like you have a plan.

Ah. Indeed I do.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS OVER TV]

Becky and Danny are
on, turn up the volume.

Oh, yeah.

These batteries must be shot.

I think your brain is shot.

That's the remote control for
Nicky and Alex's toy helicopter.

[WHIRRING]

Oh, cool.

- Give me.
- Hey.

So with no further ado, let's say hello
to the bungee jumping grandma herself:

- Edna Parish.
- Hello there, how are you?

- Nice to see you.
- Hi, Edna, nice to meet you.

Well, besides bungee jumping,
Edna has also whitewater-rafted...

done some cliff diving
and even wrestled alligators.

Whoa, gators.

Edna, wow, any plans to slow down a little,
like, maybe only defy death once a week?

Oh, no sirree.

I've lived as long as I have
because of the risks I take.

BECKY: Really?
- Right. Listen to her, Beck.

It's the same philosophy my
dearly departed Arthur had.

Before his parachute accident.

I'm so sorry. Parachute accident.
What a horrible way to go.

Not really.

He was asleep in the backyard.

And this paratrooper
landed on him.

[SIGHS] Oh.

He didn't feel a thing.

Now would be a good time to take a look
at Edna's most recent bungee adventure.

Oh.

Cowabungaaa! Yoo-hoo!

BECKY: Whoa, that's amazing.

DANNY: I'm thinking you
don't eat a big early-bird dinner...

before doing
something like that.

You know, Edna.

I see you do something
like that and I see

you here in person
and you're so full of life.

I mean, maybe
my husband's right.

Maybe there is something
to this risk-taking thing.

Well, it looks like
someone's seen the light.

I'll tell you...

why don't you two come bungee
jumping with me next week?

Well, what do you say, Stretch?

Well, I'm not a
scaredy-cat, Edna...

but when it comes to bungee
jumping I've got two words for you:

Me "ow."

What are you scared of?

It's safe and it's fun.

Well, I don't know
about Stretch here...

- but you talked me into it.
- Oh, good.

Next week you and I are
going bungee jumping.

Oh, no, you're not.

Yes, she is.

Didn't you hear?
I'll turn it up.

[WHIRRING]

[PIANO PLAYING]

- Hi, honey.
- Hi, sweetheart.

- How was your day?
- It was terrific.

I dropped the boys at school,
did some grocery shopping.

You're not bungee jumping, the band
came over, we worked on this tune.

Wait a second. Did you say
I am not bungee jumping?

Yeah. The band came
over and we did this

really cool tune. It
kind of has a Shaft vibe.

[IMITATING SHAFT THEME]

- That's it? We're not gonna talk about it?
- We just did, I said it's a Shaft vibe.

I mean the bungee jump.

[CHUCKLES] Oh,
that, the bungee jump.

I think we pretty
much talked that out.

No, no, no. Wait a second.

You've talked it out. I'm
just getting warmed up.

Come on, sweetheart. Jumping off a
bridge attached to a little rubber band.

That isn't you. I mean
you're a talk show host.

The riskiest thing you've ever
done is try Ed Asner's carrot cake.

Well, what happened to
taking risks, feeling alive?

Taking the everydayness
out of the everyday.

That was me. This is
you. You're a mother.

You're a father.

- This is a complete double standard.
- Come on, this is not a double standard.

There are just some things
that I can do that you can't.

Well, this ain't one of them.

I'm bungee jumping.
End of discussion.

No.

No. This discussion isn't
over until I say it's over.

Now it's over.

[EXHALES]

Michelle, how can you
sit there in just a T-shirt?

The furnace broke and
the house is freezing.

You better put this
on before you get sick.

What are you talking
about? I'm boiling.

Boiling?

Ow. Whoo. Put another
shrimp on the barbie.

If only we could
take her temperature.

Hey, we're in luck.

A thermometer in my parka.
Heh. What are the odds?

We better get you
into bed immediately.

But I feel fine.

Well, all sick people
start off feeling fine.

Oh, my gosh, 116.

Is that bad?

Not if you're a rump roast.

Sounds to me like
Schmedrick's Disease.

Schmedrick's Disease?

Uh-oh. D.J., the next
sign of Schmedrick's.

She's getting the spots.

Spots? What spots?

These spots.

[GASPING]

They're on my pillow too.

That stuff spreads fast.

Steph, it's definitely Schmedrick's.
She's showing the first three signs.

Fever, red spots, vomiting.

I didn't throw up.

Uh-oh. The next sign.

Memory loss.

Well, thank God you've got
two loving sisters to care for you...

and make you comfortable
and nurse you back to health.

Oh, there you are. I had to
turn down your thermostat.

Did you know some
chucklehead turned it up to...

Kimmy, is there a particular
reason you're over here?

Yeah. I need to
borrow a couple things.

It's my turn to cook dinner and
my dad wants beef Wellington.

Oh. Well, what do you need?

Beef and whatever
the heck Wellington is.

Listen, Kimmy, heh, just
take whatever you want.

Now, if you'll excuse us.

Hey, Rip van Runt.

Isn't it a little early
for beddy-bye?

I've got Schmedrick's Disease.

Really? I had that
when I was 10.

Somehow I doubt that.

You're right. It was
chicken pox and I was 8.

No, wait a minute. It
wasn't me, it was my cousin.

Goodbye, Kimmy.

Jeez, you share one
childhood memory.

When is Dad coming home?

Uh, Michelle,
about this disease.

See, it's a minor illness
for people our age.

But if a grownup gets it or
even hears you talking about it...

well, then...

something happens. Right, D.J?

Yeah.

It's terrible.

They go completely bald.

You know that Captain
Picard on Star Trek?

Schmedrick's.

So how do I get better?

Just stay in bed until tomorrow.

Luckily, you only have
24-hour Schmedrick's.

If I have to stay in bed, that
means I'll miss the concert.

[GASPS]

Oh, no.

We didn't even think of that.

That ticket's gonna go to waste.

If only you knew someone who was
sitting home tonight with no plans...

and already had her coat on.

Do you wanna go, Steph?

Me?

Well, let's see, no plans,
and look at that, a coat on.

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

Dad's home.

Thanks for the ticket,
Michelle. Gotta go.

And just stay in bed.
Don't tell anyone anything.

- Yeah. MICHELLE: Wait.

You guys have been so good
to me, I've gotta tell you the truth.

I really didn't care
about the Counting Cars.

Crows.

All I wanted to do was
something grown-up with you guys.

You get to do all kinds of fun
stuff and I always feel left out.

Really?

You do?

You guys are so cool.

I wanna grow up
and be just like you.

Oh, rats.

We were so close.

Michelle, you're fine.

There's nothing wrong with you.

You mean, I don't
have Schmedrick's?

No. Mr. Schmedrick
is my Biology teacher.

We made the whole thing up.

We were just mad because you
weaseled that ticket away from Stephanie.

Yeah. Here.

You go to the concert.

No, you guys go.

You're the one who
really like Counting Cats.

BOTH: Crows.

Thanks, Michelle.

And we promise next weekend...

the three of us will do
something really grown-up.

Get pierced and tattooed?

How about a PG movie?

With mature themes
and adult situations?

[ALL CHUCKLING]

- Come on.
- Get out of there.

Beck, I gotta talk to you before
you go do something crazy.

Okay, but make it fast because I
have to jump off a bridge in an hour.

You're doing this to get back at
me for the times I made you worry.

You know what? It
worked. I'm worried.

You win. Sit down.
Relax. Have a muffin.

Jess, this has
nothing to do with you.

I'm doing this for that
little girl back in Nebraska.

Low Board Donaldson.

Is that your cousin
with one eyebrow?

- That's Celeste.
- Oh, oh, oh.

I'm Low Board.

When I was 10 I went to
the pool with all my friends...

and we decided we would
jump of the high diving board.

Well, I climbed all the way to the top, I
took one look down and I chickened out.

By the time I got back down to
the bottom I had a new nickname.

- Low Board.
- Mm.

I can relate to that.
You won't believe this.

I got my nickname at
a swimming pool too.

Shallow End Tanner.

College sophomores
can be so cruel.

I'll be in the car.

Think about it. Jumping off a diving board
is not the same as jumping off a bridge.

One makes a big splash, the
other one makes a big splat.

Jess, this is
something I have to do.

No, breathing is something
you have to do. Eating is.

Refilling the cream rinse is
something you have to do.

This is something that
you don't have to do.

Honey, I'm gonna do it.

And if you don't understand
why, then you don't understand me.

I don't understand her.

- Am I wrong here?
- Yes.

Who asked you?

Well, now you know
how Becky feels...

when she's worrying while
you're out doing your motocross.

Why is she worried about
me? I'm not worried about me.

Jess, don't you get it?

[SETS FORK ON PLATE]

Listen, you're my best friend, so I'm
gonna tell you this from my heart, okay?

She's worried about you for the
same reason you're worried about her.

You care more about
her life than your own life.

Because let's face it, buddy.

She makes your
life worth living.

Joseph, that was mature...

it was insightful and
it was very sensitive.

Thank you.

Okay, now, cartoons. Ah.

[IMITATES POPEYE]
Ack-uh-kuh-kuh-kuh.

[SIGHS]

[WATER FLOWING]

[SIGHS]

Well, I can't believe I'm saying
this, but right after the newsbreak...

Edna and I will be bungee
jumping off this bridge.

Yes, that's right. They're both
gonna be helplessly plummeting...

hundreds of feet down, down, down,
off this bridge toward rock-solid rock...

only to be snapped from the jaws
of death at the last possible second.

Don't go away.

MAN: And we're clear.

Hey, Stilts, what is this horse
hocking about the jaws of death?

We have a perfect safety record.

I'm sorry, Edna. It
was for dramatic effect.

It makes for great television.

- Oh.
- And a terrified cohost.

[SIGHS]

BECKY: Whoa. Heh.

You know, heh-heh, I'm also
the terrified producer of this show...

and I'm gonna make a teensy
little change in this segment.

Edna, you're flying solo.

DANNY: Excuse me, Ms. Producer.

Remember Edna jumped by
herself on our show just last week.

That's no problem.
I'll do it in my bikini.

Well, back to being Low
Board Donaldson again.

Oh.

I'd rather be Low Board...

than Gunk In A Gorge.

I'm gonna get some Danish and some
makeup and something else. See you.

Tsk.

[MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING]

Jess, honey, what
are you doing here?

[JESSE SIGHS]

Listen, Beck.

I totally understand you now.
Joey explained everything to me.

Honey, you're listening to a man
who sleeps in Power Ranger pajamas.

The reason I'm so worried is
because I love you so much.

In loving you so much I realized that
you have the right to do anything you want.

To live your life as full
and as rich as you want.

I mean, if you wanna
take a risk, take a risk.

I have no right
to tell you not to.

Yes, you do. You have every
right. You're an American.

You have the right
to free assembly.

You have a right to an attorney
if you choose to have one.

And you have the right to stop
me from making a horrible mistake.

So, what you're
saying is you're afraid.

In a word, deathly.

Listen, bottom line is, do
you really want to do this?

Well...

yes. Heh.

I would love to take a fearless
leap and spread my wings and fly.

And if I actually had
wings, I would do it.

Well, then it's up to you.

You can stay up here and be
Low Board Donaldson forever.

Or you can put all your fears behind you
and experience the thrill of a lifetime.

[SIGHS]

It does look exciting.

If I had the opportunity,
I wouldn't turn it down.

[SIGHS]

DANNY: Hey.

Okay, folks, we're on the air in 20
seconds. Jess, off the set, please.

All right. So?

Are you gonna jump or do
we have to go with... Whoa!

Edna's in a thong. And
she's looking pretty hot.

And we're ready in
five, four, three, two.

Well, we're back, San Francisco, and
there's been a slight change of plans.

Instead of me jumping with Edna,
we thought it would be a fun surprise...

if I were to share the thrill of a lifetime
with my husband, Jesse Katsopolis.

What? Huh? Huh? What?

Beck, I'm not sure
the audience is ready...

for such a fun surprise
at this hour in the morning.

I mean, maybe they had
a big breakfast, a sausage.

No, no sausage. I think they're ready
for a fun surprise. It is sweeps week.

Let's tie them up nice
and snug. Safe and snug.

What are these things they're
putting... Can't we just work up to this?

You know, like jump off something
small and work our way up.

Like the curb. Cameraman, can you
get this? See, whoa, that's far down there.

And then we go.

Honey, you said this
was a thrill of a lifetime.

Your lifetime, not mine.

All right, you lovebirds, over
the railing and into the gorge.

Heh. Ready, honey? Here we go.

Honey, rubber bands
snap on occasion.

Huh?

It's a thrill, ha-ha-ha,
of a lifetime.

- You're not afraid, are you?
- In a word? Deathly.

BECKY: Oh, my God.

BECKY AND JESSE: Have mercy.

[SCREAMING]

BECKY: Oh, my God.

[BECKY LAUGHING]

[BECKY SCREAMING]

Wha... That was
incredible. What a rush.

[CORD SQUEAKING]

Honey, are you okay?

I don't know.

I'll tell you when my
stomach gets here.

Okay, yes, good, I'm
fine. I'm fine, I'm fine.

Oh, Jess. I love you so
much. I'm so glad I did this.

- Wanna do it again?
- Do you?

BOTH: Nah.

[ENGLISH SDH]