Full House (1987–1995): Season 6, Episode 22 - Prom Night - full transcript

[♪♪♪]

Michelle, do you
have any queens?

Go fish.

I can see you do.

You're supposed to keep
your cards close to your body.

You're supposed to keep
your eyes close to your head.

Michelle, you
have to tell the truth.

This is a game of trust,
honor and integrity.

Boy, you guys sure know how
to suck the fun out of Go Fish.

[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪



♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪

♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪

♪ Evenin' TV? ♪

♪ Ahhh-ahhh ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪

♪ A hand to hold on to ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a face ♪

♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪

♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪



♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪

[♪♪♪]

See ya later.

Steve's taking Kimmy and
me to look at prom dresses.

Have fun, sweetheart.

Uh, Dad, I need a credit card.

Go fish.

Come on, Dad.

Can't leave home without it.

So, Kimmy, found a senior
to take you to the prom?

What are you paying him?

No, I fixed her up with a
guy from my metal shop:

Gorilla Bernstein.

Yeah, he's really sweet.

He made us matching
belt buckles out of magnets.

I can't wait to slow dance.

There you go.

Thanks, Dad. You got it.

Bye.

Oh, hey, Jesse.

You know, it's really
nice of you and your band

to play at the prom.

No sweat, Kimbo.

Oh, and one more
thing, Mr. Moldy Oldies,

I made a list of the songs

that people who are
still young like to hear.

Thanks, Kim, I'll give this list

all the consideration
it deserves.

Thank you.

Joey, let's go.

We got a radio show to do.

Tear yourself away from go fish.

It's time to go work.

You're absolutely right.

I'm gettin' a little darn
too old for this game.

Michelle, tonight: Candyland.

Your room. Be there.

You're on.

Okay. Vicky, do
you have any threes?

Yes, I do.

Ah. Now see that, Michelle?

Vicky knows the
truth is very important.

Isn't that right, Vicky?

Uh, Danny, since this
truth thing's come up,

there is something
that's been bothering me.

Uh, remember when we first met

on the set of Wake
up, San Francisco,

and I told you that I was
a year younger than you?

Well, the truth is, I
was off by two years.

[CHUCKLES]

You're three years
younger than me?

I'm robbing the
cradle. I love that.

[GIGGLES]

Not exactly. Um...

I'm actually one
year older than you.

Older?

Ya love that too, Dad?

Well, what do you think?

Huh?

Oh. Nice.

You've said that about
every dress I've tried on.

But, Deej, what am
I supposed to say?

How about stunning?

Alluring?

Well, I can't say
those things here.

What if somebody hears me?

Hey, Deej, come here.

Okay, I've got good
news and bad news.

Well, actually, I
only have bad news,

but I didn't wanna
bum you out too much.

Steve's
ex-girlfriend's in there.

Rachel Taylor?

Are you sure it's her?

Stevie.

Rachel.

It's her.

You know, I need your
opinion on something.

What do you think of this dress?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, it's... It's...

It's stunning.
Really. I-it's alluring.

It's, um, uh... The
same dress I'm wearing.

Oh, right.

It's nice.

Um, heh, Rachel, this
is, uh, Kimmy Gibbler

and D.J. Tanner,
my, um... Girlfriend.

[CHUCKLES]

The old girlfriend,
the new girlfriend.

Smell the tension.

Stevie, listen,
um, a bunch of us

rented a room at
the hotel, you know,

where we're having the prom,

and, uh, we're
gonna party all night.

You guys wanna come?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, that sounds like
something that we, uh...

Um, would not be
interested in. Sorry.

That's too bad 'cause
it's gonna be wild.

Well, I gotta run.

You know, I really
do love this dress.

[SIGHS]

So you gonna get that dress too?

Yeah, right.

[♪♪♪]

Why is D.J. putting
perfume on her ears?

Must I explain everything?

So she won't
smell like ear sweat.

Oh.

Boy, it seems like my
prom was just yesterday.

Can you believe I'm old
enough to be a chaperon?

Sure.

No, way! You're a chaperon?

Do you believe she's a chaperon?

I can't believe
she's a chaperon.

You know, Aunt Becky,
Steve and I were invited

to this after-prom
party in a hotel room.

Really?

What'd your dad say after
he stopped screaming?

Oh, I didn't ask him.

I don't really wanna go.

It's not my kind of thing.

Well, that's good, Deej.

You should never do anything

that you're not
comfortable with.

Well, the thing is, I think
that Steve wants to go.

His old girlfriend
Rachel invited us.

She's beautiful.

D.J., you're beautiful too.

And I don't think you have
anything to worry about.

Steve loves you.
He's nuts about you.

Why else would he
be here all the time?

To eat.

Oh, man. I can't believe
that D.J. is going to a prom.

I'm gettin' old so fast.

Maybe you'll
catch up with Vicky.

Sweetheart, it just so
happens I had totally forgotten

that Vicky is a
year older than me.

In fact, in actuality, she
is only seven months,

three weeks and two
days older than me.

See, you're catching up already.

All right.

Let's get this prom on the road.

Wow! You guys look great.

[GIGGLES]

[DOORBELL RINGS] I got it.

Hello. Hey.

Well, everybody,
what do you think?

Very nice.

Steve, I've never seen
you like this before.

Yeah. There's no
food in your mouth.

No, but I got some Milk
Duds in my cummerbund.

D.J.: I'm ready!

Excuse me.

ALL: Wow.

JESSE: Oh-ho!

Wow.

[CHUCKLES]

Wow, you look just
like Sleeping Beauty,

except you're awake.

Thank you.

Wow, D.J., you look beautiful.

Thank you.

Oh, honey,

I can't believe how
grown up you are.

Seems like only yesterday

you were walking
off to kindergarten.

Actually, you didn't walk,
I carried you piggyback.

Now you're going to a prom.

Ah, what the heck. Hop on.

Dad. Sorry.

Have a wonderful time, sweetie.

Thanks.

Bye. Bye.

Dad!

Sorry.

♪ I ♪

♪ I love the colorful
Clothes she wear ♪

♪ And the way the
sunlight Play upon she ♪

♪ Hair ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I'm a-pickin' up
The good vibrations ♪

♪ She's a-givin'
me The excitation ♪

♪ I'm a-pickin' up
The good vibrations ♪

♪ She's a-givin'
me The excitation ♪

[CHEERING]

JESSE: Thank you.

Thank you!

Thank you, prom animals.

Steve, this tropical nights
theme is so romantic.

Yeah, I guess it was
better than my idea:

snacks of many nations.

Hi, Stevie. Hi.

You know Paul.

Yeah, sure. How's it going?

How you doing?

So, uh, you, uh, wanna
go get a dress...? A drink?

A one, two, three, ah!

♪ Talking 'bout My little baby ♪

♪ A little Latin Loopy-loo ♪

Hey!

Hoo!

♪ Ain't no dance
She couldn't do ♪

Hey, how are you and
Gorilla getting along?

Fantastic. He
knows just what I like.

Pupu for two,
my little lovestick?

Wow, those are some pretty
wild nails you got there, Kimmy.

Yeah, I just have
to wait till they dry.

Yeah, the polish.

No, the glue.

Hi, guys. Mind if I join you?

I feel so old over
there on chaperon row.

It's really uncool to be
seen with the chaperons.

Yeah. Tell me about it.

I repeat, it's really uncool to
be seen with the chaperones.

Oh, I get it.

Aunt Becky, you can hang
out with us if you want to.

No, no, no, that's okay.

I'll just go straighten
out my support hose.

Hi. Aren't you the cheerleader

who's always at the
top of the pyramid?

Oh, no. Actually, I...

I... I'm usually
somewhere in the middle.

Cool.

Yes!

[CHEERING]

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you!

All right, now the moment
we've all been waiting for,

to find out who
rules the school.

This year's prom king
is... Drum roll, please.

[DRUM ROLL]

Mr. Steven Hale!

[CHEERING]

Steve, I'm so proud of you!

All right, Steve,
wherever you are,

drop that burrito
and get up here.

There. Steve, my man!

Stevie. Steverino.

Okay.

And what good would a
king be without a queen?

This year's prom queen is...

Drum roll, please... [DRUM ROLL]

Rrrachel Taylor!

Wow, look at that.

Rachel and Steve
back together again.

Ugh.

[♪♪♪]

All right, now it's
time for the crowning

of the king and queen.

By the way, the, uh,
crowns were provided

by Carl's Crown Shop.

Hey, go see Carl for
all your crowning needs.

Okay, go nuts, kids.

[APPLAUSE]

Well, I guess bringing Rachel
wasn't a complete washout.

I got to dance with her once.

And she did let me
hang up her coat.

They'll be right back,
Paul. It's just a ceremony.

I don't know. Ever since Rachel
ran into Steve the other day,

she hasn't stopped
talking about him.

I don't know why she
ever broke up with him.

I thought he broke up with her.

Nope. She dumped him.

The poor guy
couldn't eat for a week.

A week?

I've never seen
him go five minutes

without at least a tic tac.

First rule of table manners.

Never put more on a spoon

than you can fit in your mouth.

Ah-kean.

Ice-keam.

Yeah, ice cream.

Is that yummy?

[GIGGLES]

Have fun now, boys.

You can't do that stuff
when you're old like me.

Danny, you're
awfully quiet tonight.

Is there something on your mind?

My mind? No way.

Uh, girls, let's take
your cousins upstairs

and clean 'em up.

I'll get the garden hose,

you get the squeegee.

Okay, come on, let's go.

And, uh, Danny,

this might be a real
good opportunity

to talk about anything you
might be obsessing over.

So, uh, Vicky, would
you, uh, like some coffee?

I have Old Vienna.

Actually, that's just a name.

It's not... It's not really old.

No, it's not like it's
a year old, or, uh,

even seven months.

Instant! I have instant.
Would you like instant?

Let me take a wild shot here.

I think you're upset at
my being older than you.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Vicky, why did you lie to me?

Danny, I'm sorry. It's
only seven months.

When I started in
the news business,

my agent suggested
that I drop a few years.

It's not like I lied
about my prison record.

Oh, my God.

Danny, lighten up!
That was a joke.

Oh.

I'm sorry, Vicky.

It's gonna take some
getting used to for me, okay?

When I was growing up,

I was taught the man
should be older and...

And taller, and... And stronger.

You know, Danny,
what kind of an atti...

Sorry.

At least I'm still taller.

Danny...

Danny, nothing has
changed between us.

I've always been seven
months older than you.

Just now you know it.

Yeah, you're right.

I've been acting ridiculous.

We love each other and
that... That's all that matters.

Look on the bright side.

If I am a little older

and a little more experienced,

well, that could turn
out to be a good thing,

don't you think?

[DRAWLING] Yes, ma'am.

I always respect my elders.

Okay. All right, hold it now.

All right, now the final
member of the court,

the man you have
selected court jester,

none other than Ed
"Funboy" Henderson!

All right, let's hear
it for that wacky Ed.

That crazy...

Let me guess, "Funboy,"
you came alone tonight, huh?

[DRUMMER PLAYS RIMSHOT]

All right, Kenny. Thank you.

Okay, now it's time

for the traditional
king and queen dance.

[CHEERING]

[JESSE AND THE RIPPERS
PLAYING "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU"]

Could she hold him any tighter?

If she does,

we'll have to butter
his tux to get him loose.

Jess, do something.

About what?

I'll handle it.

Okay, everybody, we're
starting a new tradition.

It's called

"dance with the
person you came with."

So why do they call you Gorilla?

'Cause I can eat a
banana with my feet.

At last, a real man.

Paul, aren't you gonna
ask Rachel to dance?

Well, why bother? She'd
rather be with Steve.

Well, Steve already has a date.

Look, Rachel, I'm
gonna go find D.J., okay?

No, wait a minute.

Do you still wanna go?

Yes.

Look, Rachel, when
you broke up with me,

I'll admit, I used to hope
that you'd come back to me,

and that you'd
kiss me like that,

and everything would
be the way it was.

Yeah, but it can be.

No. No, it can't.

Because now I'm
in love with D.J.

and, uh, she means
everything to me.

Look, I'm sorry. I gotta go.

He said he loved me.

What a lie!

I hate him. I hate guys.

She sure got over that fast.

D.J., what do you
think you're doing?

If you can kiss
someone else, so can I.

I did not kiss Rachel,
she kissed me.

Yeah, right. It takes
two people to kiss.

That's four lips and
two of 'em were yours.

Hey, let's go up and
get that party started.

You know, that
sounds like a lot fun.

Why don't we go, Paul.

Sure, why not?

Oh, okay, all right, fine!

Rachel? Steve.

JESSE: Thank you.

Thanks very much.

Okay, this next song is one
of my all-time favorite songs.

I hope you guys
like it. It's called...

It's called, "the
band takes a break

while you dance to
prerecorded music."

[LAUGHTER]

Am I missing something?

Come on, honey,
we've gotta stop D.J.

I hope this party's wild.

The wilder, the better.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

JESSE: All right, hold it.

Nobody's going anywhere
till I get some answers.

Now, my first question is...

Becky, why am I
holding the elevator?

Uncle Jesse, I'm just
going to a party with Paul.

See, Becky? She's just
going to a party with P...

Who's Paul?

Would this be
the party upstairs?

Upstairs? In a hotel room?

You, you, you, you.
Out, out, out, out.

Let go. Let go of her. Let go.

How could you
embarrass me like that?

I'll ask the questions
around here.

My first question is,
who the heck is Paul?

Oh, Paul, that would be
Rachel's date, until Rachel,

who was Steve's
girl, kissed Steve.

Now it looks like Paul's the guy
D.J. wants to go upstairs with.

Boy, you know, you miss
so much on the bandstand

with the lights in your
eyes and the music...

Great, great. Now that
everybody's up to speed,

I have a party
to go to. Hold on,

D.J., now, come on, you
know how these parties are.

It's the end of the year
and everybody's crazy.

I just don't want you to do
something you'll be sorry about.

Yeah, don't let your
emotions get in the way

of your good judgment just
because you're mad at Steve.

Okay, fine.

I just thought
tonight was gonna be

the greatest night of my life,

but I just wanna go home now.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Stevie, come on.
We're missing all the fun.

I can't.

Look, Rachel, I'm really sorry.

Everything's all messed up.

I gotta talk to D.J.

Paul?

Um, Deej...

Well, I guess we'll leave
you two alone, won't we?

Yeah.

It's so much better when
you're clued in to everything.

Now, who was Paul? Who was Paul?

Um, Deej, I'm not
going to that party.

Neither am I. So what?

So I wanna talk to you.

About what?

About how I trusted you?

About how I loved you?

About how I felt when I
saw you kissing Rachel?

I know exactly how you felt.

Like someone punched
you in the stomach

and knocked all
the wind outta you.

I felt the same way
when I saw you kiss Paul.

Good. That was the idea.

Look, Deej, I told you I
did not wanna kiss Rachel.

But you did kiss her!

But I didn't feel anything!

It was like kissing my aunt.

Okay, fine, it was a little bit
better than kissing my aunt.

But it wasn't anything
like kissing you.

Come on, Steve.

She was your first love.

Oh, no. I thought
she was my first love,

but I was wrong.

I didn't even know what
love was until I met you.

[♪♪♪]

Really?

Really.

I love you.

I love you too.

[BAND RESUMES PLAYING
"I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU"]

JESSE: All right, this next song

is dedicated to a
very special couple.

You know who you are.

♪ And I ♪

♪ Will always love you... ♪

Hey, what happened
to your nails?

Gee, I don't know.

♪ I'll always love you ♪

♪ And I ♪

♪ Will always love you ♪

♪ I'll always love you ♪

♪ I'll always love you ♪