Full House (1987–1995): Season 6, Episode 11 - Designing Mothers - full transcript

Danny meets Vicki's mother, an interior designer, who redecorates Stephanie and Michelle's room without consulting him and it leads he and Vicki to argue and break up.

[♪♪♪]

All right, boys.

Never too young
to like lima beans.

You wanna try that
for me, Alex? No.

No? How about Nick?

No. Huh? No.

Okay. Maybe you are too young.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, Michelle, honey,
I'm gonna get the door.

And you know what, you guys?

If you finish these
delicious lima beans,



you can have dessert.

I'll show you guys
how to get dessert.

Comet.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Just be cool. She'll never know.

How'd you do, Michelle?

Hey!

How'd you get them to
finish their lima beans?

Well... it's a kid thing.

Oh, really?

[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪



♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪

♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪

♪ Evenin' TV? ♪

♪ Ahhhh ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪

♪ A hand to hold on to ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a face ♪

♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪

♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪

[♪♪♪]

Hey, guys.

How are the Rush Hour Renegades?

Doomed. But thanks for asking.

Yeah. The radio station's
getting a new manager:

Alison "The Ax" Axelrod.

We heard that
she's firing everybody

and switching to
classical music.

We're talking pre-"Blue
Suede Shoes" here.

[SIGHS] Let's face it, Jess.

We're history, dust,
yesterday's garbage.

Becky, just put
us out on the curb.

Yeah, it's trash
day. Wait a minute.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Get back here. Sit down.

Now, what is wrong
with you guys?

You're professionals.

When I was on Good
Morning Omaha,

I had to do the farm reports
as Becky the Milkmaid.

They made me sign
off with a pig call.

Suuu-eeey!

Well... not a porker, but close.

Oh, Jess.

Oh, please.

Uh, look.

Vicky's gonna be here
any minute with her mom.

She's an interior decorator.

I-I don't want
footprints on the table.

Don't worry about it. She
won't be checking out footprints.

She came here to check you out,

No, she didn't. She's in town

accepting an interior
decorating award.

Yeah, that and to grill
you like a shish kebab.

You know, Danny, once
you meet the mother,

everything in the
relationship changes.

This is a real milestone
for you and Vicky.

Come on, Joey. Vicky
and I are doing great.

Her mom's not here to
check me out. I'm not worried.

Well, you know, this is also
your chance to check her out.

You meet the mom...

see what the daughter's
gonna look like in about 20 years.

Fine. Let her check
me out. I'll check her out.

I got nothing to hide.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

It's checkout time.

[SIGHS]

Mom, this is Danny.

Danny, this is my
mother, Liz Larson.

Hi.

It's, uh... It's nice
to meet you, Liz.

And congratulations
on your award.

Well, it's nice to
meet you, Danny.

Nice to have you
both meeting. Heh.

Uh, Mom, this is Joey and Jess,

Rebecca, Comet,
Stephanie and Michelle.

Nice to meet you.

Dad, Vicky's gonna look
good when she gets old.

[LAUGHS]

Kids. You know, to
them, everybody's old.

They think I'm ancient,
so that would make you...

[ALL LAUGH]

Kids, why don't you, uh,
show Liz the rest of the house?

Oh, yeah. My room first!

That's good. Let's
hurry on up there.

Oh, boy.

So, Liz, what do you think?

Oh.

Window seat, uh, corbels.

This room has all
the classic features.

Mrs. Larson... Hm?

What would you do if you
were redecorating this room

for, say, an heiress
or a princess,

or a fifth-grader
and her sister?

[CHUCKLES] Hold on, girls.

Mrs. Larson is
not at work today.

Oh, no, no, it's...
It's perfectly all right.

Now, in here... I
think that I would...

splash these walls
with bright colors.

I did that with
my finger-paints,

but Daddy didn't like it.

And I'd use contrasting patterns

to make the room...

vibrate with youth
and excitement.

Perfect. She's youth,
and I'm excitement.

So, Dad, what do you think?

Can we splash the
room and make it vibrate?

Please, please. Please.

Oh, girls. Why... Why
change a perfectly good room?

Let's not just have change
for the sake of change.

[BOTH GROAN]

You know, Danny, I understand.

Uh, you know, I see clients

like you all the time.

Some people are just
uncomfortable with change.

I'm... I'm not
uncomfortable with change.

I... I... I change my
socks every day. Hm.

Twice if it's humid.

[LAUGHS]

Steve, let's not give up yet.

There are 25 guys
on the wrestling team.

You gotta be able to fix
me up with one of 'em.

Well, you know, Kimmy,
it... It's not that easy.

Uh, Bobby's going with someone,

and Chuck's still not
over his last girlfriend.

And all the other
guys... know you.

Oh, good. Everybody, um...

I'd like you to meet, uh,

Vicky's mom, Liz Larson.

Hi. Hi.

Liz, this is my daughter D.J.

Hi, D.J. Hi.

And her friends,
Kimmy and Steve. Hello.

They don't live here.
They just eat here.

[CHUCKLES]

So, what do you
think of our Mr. T.?

He's a little skinny,

but he's also uptight.

[BEEPING]

Oh, that's me.

Uh. Oh, uh, it's my office.

I'm sorry. I got to take this.

Well, hurry back.

So... this is awkward.

Meeting Mom.

I guess that means
wedding bells.

♪ Here comes the bride ♪
Steve. Ugh.

♪ All dressed In white ♪

♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da... ♪
Kimmy.

[GRUNTS]

Hey. Steverino.

You know from this angle,
your caboose looks really good.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, Danny, I
wasn't going to say anything,

but, um, since it's come up...

what are your
feelings on the subject?

Well, t... To be
honest with you,

I haven't given that much
thought to Steverino's caboose.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm talking about marriage.

Marriage.

Hmm.

Well, I-I think marriage
is a... Is a wonderful thing.

If, uh... If you want
to wind up, uh...

married.

Coffee?

Hmm.

Danny... I would hate for Vicky

to, uh, waste her
time in a relationship

that wasn't going anywhere.

Oh, no, no, no, Liz,
we're going somewhere.

Just next month, we're
going to Napa Valley.

[CHUCKLES]

Hmm.

Do you always make jokes

when you want
to avoid a subject?

No. No, sometimes
I shampoo the dog.

[CHUCKLES]

There I go again.

So how are you two doing?

Great.

Great.

Great!

Ohh... [ALL GIGGLE]

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Jess, listen.

I know how strongly
you feel about rock 'n' roll,

but I think we
should be flexible.

I mean, if Alison Axelrod
wants classical music,

I think we should be prepared.

Okay, all right. Check this out.

[WITH ENGLISH ACCENT]
"Flight of the Bumblebee"

by Rimsky-Korsakov.

[HUMMING "FLIGHT
OF THE BUMBLEBEE"]

All right, that's cute.

Look at these...

[CONTINUES HUMMING
"FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE"]

[DISTORTED HUMMING]

I don't know.

Look at this, bumblebrain.

Now, see. See.

It's not just because I
love rock. This is business.

Look at these ratings.

People love us out here.

I mean, I-I don't
get this "Ax" person.

I mean, if she switches
over to classical,

she doesn't know her ax
from a hole in the ground.

You know something, Jess?

We got a great thing going here,

and I think we just gotta
fight to keep it going.

My buddy. All
right. Yeah, all right.

Yeah. Okay. Shaka
brotha! Shaka, bra!

Yeah. All right.
Give me five. Okay.

All right. Around
the back for seven.

All right. Over the river

through the woods. I'm
going to Grandma's house.

Okay. There's the wolf.

All right, I'm John
Travolta. I'm stayin' alive.

That's good. Yeah, all right!

Whoa! Let's Lambada.
Let's Lambada.

Yeah! All right! Let's Lambada.

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Stop it!

[♪♪♪]

[LAUGHS]

Mom, what are you doing here?

Hi. I have a surprise
in the girls' room.

BOTH: A surprise? All right!

Let's go. Well,
h-have I mentioned

I'm not really a
surprise kind of person?

Liz.

[BOTH GASP]

Wow.

I get to live here?

Mrs. Larson, it's beautiful.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Oh, you're welcome, darlings.

Mom. It's stunning.

Danny, isn't it stunning?

I-I... I am stunned.

It's... It's just my way
of apologizing for...

For yesterday, Danny.

I... I know that we didn't

get off to such a good start.

Liz, this is really...

Please don't thank me.
I called in some favors

and used some floor samples.

And, uh...

I really enjoyed
doing it for the girls.

And we really enjoyed

having it done for us.

Well, I-I'm... I'm
really glad everybody

really enjoyed themselves.

Vicky, could I talk
to you for a second?

Excuse us. Really.

Danny, is there a problem?

Yes, there is. Then
why are you smiling?

Oh. Please, come this way.

Vicky. Your...

Your mother had no right
to redecorate the girls' room.

Danny, I know she comes
on a little strong sometimes,

but her intentions were good.

You think it's good to
totally rearrange my life?

It's not your life, Danny.

Uh, it's a room.

A room Stephanie
and Michelle love.

Look... sometimes we
all need a little change.

A little change? What is it
with you people and change?

You people?

W... You and your mother.

Hmm.

Oh, my God.

You're... Y-you're...
You're doing that...

That "hmm" thing.

What...? What "hmm" thing?

That "hmm" thing,
and... Oh. Oh, look,

Now you're pacing. What...
What is wrong with pacing?

[STAMMERS] Oh, look.

You... You got your
hands on your hips.

You're acting like your mother.

And that's a bad thing?

No, no. I-I think it's fine.

It gives me a little bit of
insight into a side of you

that I didn't quite know before.

Oh, I'm seeing
another side of you too.

And I think I've seen
enough. Oh, really?

Well, you know what, Vicky?

If that's the way you feel,
then maybe you should just...

Leave.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Enter.

I can't sleep in that room.

What are you talking about?

Vicky's mom just
redecorated it for you.

It's beautiful.

I know.

But I can't go back in there.

What? Where are you gonna sleep?

This will do.

You too?

Oh, no. Forget it.

Dad! We have a situation here!

Don't worry. When
Stephanie snores,

just pinch her nose.

Get them out, please.

Steph, Michelle, why
aren't you in your new room?

Dad, we can't go back in there.

That's the breakup room.

It made you and Vicky fight.

How can we go back in there

knowing how
miserable it made you?

Miserable? No, no, no, no, no.

I... No, I'm happy,
I'm... I'm... I'm thrilled.

I'm just shy of giddy.

Yeah, 'cause, you know,

all those weekends
I used to get excited

about doing things with
Vicky... now I can get excited

about other things...
Really cool things

that I... I can
do all by myself.

Like what?

Like, uh... scuba diving.

Scuba diving?

Girls, get your things together.

Get into your new
room, so you can be

as happy as I am, okay?

Happy, happy, happy.

He's miserable.

I've never seen him so sad.

Did I miss something?

[♪♪♪]

All right, Joseph. That
was a pretty good set.

We did, uh, "Rock
'N' Roll Music,"

"I Love Rock 'N' Roll,"

"Rock Around the Clock,"
"Rock-A-Hula, Baby,"

and my favorite, "Theme
From The Rockford Files."

[WITH ENGLISH
ACCENT] Rock 'n' roll!

We're the Rush Hour Renegades.

The news is next. Rock on.

MAN [ON RADIO]:
♪ 95.6, rock radio ♪

That was for "The
Ax." That's right.

We go down, we go
down rocking, bud.

Shaka, bra! Shaka, bra!

Give me five. I'm John
Travolta. I'm stayin' alive.

Don't start.

It's good.

Jess. Jess, look. Look.

Talking to Artie.

It's gotta be "The Ax."

JESSE: I'll bet she's
giving out pink slips.

JOEY: Poor Artie.

Guy's been working
here 31 years,

and they throw him out
like a pair of old disco boots.

Boy, she is cruel.

She is heartless.

She is cold.

And really cute.

Hi. Hi.

I'm Alison Axelrod.
Joey Gladstone.

Hi. Hi.

And you must be Jesse.

Yeah, I must be.

I have decided to
make a few changes,

and these are for you.

Jesse.

And Joey.

Let me tell you something.

I grew up on this
station, KFLH, okay?

You were playing The Beach
Boys, The Beatles, The Who.

That's where I learned
about rock 'n' roll. Here.

If you're gonna ruin
the best station in town,

that's fine, but you
can do it without us,

because we quit.

Let's go, Joseph.

Joey, what are you doing?

[WITH ENGLISH ACCENT]
"Flight of the Bumblebee"

by Rimsky-Korsakov.

[HUMMING "FLIGHT
OF THE BUMBLEBEE"

Traitor.

If he's gonna quit,

I'm gonna need that
parking pass back.

Parking pass? Yeah.

I thought we'd go on an
assigned parking system.

You know? I-I-I just was afraid

that if everybody
came in all at once,

and then they'd all get
jumbled up, and you know...

It's my first day, and
I'm just trying to be nice.

Oh. That's... That's
okay. It's... It's okay.

Thank you so much. You
know what? Uh, E-excuse me.

I got to head someone off
at the elevator. I'll be, uh...

Uh, I'll... Uh... I'll give you
another hug when I come...

Hold on. Jess.

[SIGHS]

[MOUTHING WORDS]

[MOUTHS] Parking pass.

[MOUTHS] Right.

F-13. What a great spot.

Thanks. It's...
It's a great spot...

I got a perfect view of
the car in front of me.

Thank you. Heh.

Did you guys think I
was gonna fire you?

No. No. Absolutely not.

No, no.

It's just that... Not
that we believed it...

But we heard this
vicious, silly rumor

that, uh, you were
gonna fire everybody

and switch to classical.

[SCOFFS] Why would I do that?

I don't know. I mean, this...

We heard you had
this moniker, you know.

"The... ""The Ax."
[SLICING NOISE]

"The Ax." I hate that name.

I don't know how it got started.

Let me just give you
a little piece of advice.

If you're gonna give
out parking spots,

you shouldn't make them pink.

We thought you fired Artie.

Oh, I did.

[SCOFFS] The guy is dead weight.

[MAKES SLICING NOISE]

See ya.

Bye.

[BOTH MAKE SLICING NOISE]

[♪♪♪]

Here comes Dad!

Great, this is going
like clockwork.

Now, just do what
I do. Look casual.

Hey, girls.

What are you up to?

Nothing.

Nothing.

How about you?

How about you?

Well, I-I signed up
for, uh, scuba lessons.

Got my wet suit right here.

Wow, I can't wait
to be underwater,

and not thinking about Vicky.

I gotta go find a cold ocean.

See you later, Dad.

See you later, Dad.

Hey, guys. How's Dad doing?

He's gonna be doing great.

We're getting him and
Vicky back together.

We got a plan.

You two came up with a plan?

You can't even match your socks.

For your information,

it's an extremely sophisticated

and intelligent plan.

Yeah. We called
Vicky... [SIREN WAILING]

and we told her that I got
my head stuck in a fence.

That's insane. No
one's gonna believe that.

[SIREN WAILING]

Wow. That sounds close.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

VICKY: Open up, girls.
I've got the fire department.

The fire department's here?

They don't see a
girl stuck in the fence,

we're gonna look like idiots.

Oh, you're way past that.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] VICKY: Girls?

Stall 'em. Okay,
come on, back yard.

Can we talk about this?

Quick. Stick your head in.

Yeah. Right.

Just do it.

You are so bossy.

Hey, twerp. This
is private property.

Shh. I'm in the
middle of a plan.

Well, as long as you're here,

do you like grilled sardines?

Ew!

Are you sure you wouldn't
like a nice bran muffin?

Oh, there she is.

Oh, Michelle, are you okay?

Kids. They'll stick their heads

in the darndest places.

Hey. What is going on out here?

You tell us, Aquaman.

Michelle is stuck in the fence.

What?

All right. Everybody stand back.

Come on, Gus,
let's chop her out.

Chop!

The plan is over.

Yeah, that chop
thing works every time.

I am so sorry. The girls called

and said Michelle's
head was stuck.

I thought it was an emergency.

Yeah, I'm sorry too, gentlemen.

I have no idea why my daughters

are acting so weird.

I could take a guess.

Thanks, guys.

Hey. Girls.

You know better than to say

something's an
emergency unless it really is.

I'm sorry.

We made up that story
to get Vicky to come over,

so you two would make up.

Next time you have a plan,

use your own head.

[SIGHS]

Vicky, I... I'm
sorry about this.

Thanks for being so
concerned about Michelle.

No problem.

Vicky, listen. Um...

Since we broke up, I, uh...

I really haven't been myself.

Well, you're certainly
dressing differently.

Well...

I started taking up
scuba diving to...

try to keep my mind off
how much I missed you.

Did it work?

No. But the chafing
distracted me for a while.

[CHUCKLES]

Look, I'm sorry.

I-I'm sure your mother
had great intentions,

but I'm not ready for
that kind of change.

If it bothers you so much,

go back to the old wallpaper.

No, no. It's not
the girls' room,

I'm... I'm talking
about marriage.

Marriage? Who's
talking about marriage?

Your mother.

[SIGHS] I'll kill her.

[SIGHS]

Danny, just because my
mother brought up the subject

doesn't mean that I'm
ready to talk about it.

Well, then everything's settled.

Everything's not settled.

Why didn't you tell me what
was really bothering you?

[♪♪♪]

Oh, I don't know. Everything
was just changing so fast

that I just... I didn't
know how to deal with it.

Well, change doesn't
have to be a bad thing.

Change is really
difficult for me, Vicky.

I've been using the same
oven mitt for 12 years.

I was thinking more
about our relationship.

It won't grow without change.

Well... I can deal
with change, if, uh...

If we can do it together.

I love you, Vicky.

I love you too.

[SIGHS] Oh, I missed you.

I missed you too. [SIGHS]

You know what?

I-I gotta get out of this suit.

It's really starting to bunch.

Sure.

Oh, uh... sweetheart?

Yes?

You're standing on my flipper.

Oh.

Thank you.

Help me out of this, please?

[♪♪♪]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪