Full House (1987–1995): Season 5, Episode 9 - Happy Birthday, Babies: Part 1 - full transcript
In the beginning of this episode, Michelle is super excited because it is her fifth birthday and she just cant wait until her friends get here, so the family decides to get her mind off the two and a half hours before the party, by taking her birthday picture. The family looks through her photo album and reminisce over all of the time that they have spent with Michelle. When they get to the end of the book, they put the picture in and Michelle gets upset because she doesn't want the book to end. She still wants to be a little kid. The family tries to convince her that she will get cuter and have a ton more great times as she grows up, all she has to do is grow up. which means that she needs to turn five. There are a lot of clips in this episode, but they are all of Michelle as she grows up, which means that they are obviously SUPER CUTE!
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ How did I get
Delivered here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me, please ♪
♪ This whole world's
Confusin' me ♪
♪ Flowers as mean ♪
♪ As you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird Who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
Inside you whispers: ♪
♪ "Kid, don't sell your
dreams So soon" ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
♪ Where is everybody? ♪
Right here.
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
Is there something
you'd like to say to me?
Michelle, we said happy
birthday to you at breakfast
and everywhere else
we saw you today.
But I'm 5 years old.
This is a very big day.
[IN UNISON] Happy
birthday, Michelle.
Don't say it if
you don't mean it.
[UPBEAT, IN UNISON]
Happy birthday, Michelle!
Why, thank you.
Is it time for my party yet?
Nope.
You still have two hours
and 29 minutes to go.
How long is that?
Two Sesame Streets
and a Mister Rogers.
I'll never make it.
Oh!
Let's start the party now.
Michelle, your
friends aren't here yet.
Who needs 'em? We got cake.
We got balloons. Let's do it.
I know what we can
do until they get here.
Why don't we take your
official birthday picture
for your baby book?
Jess, you grab the book.
Joey, set up the shot.
I'll grab the camera.
This is gonna be the
best picture I ever took.
All right.
Okay, now give me
a big 5-year-old smile.
Not you. The other 5-year-old.
Cheese!
All right, Michelle.
This has everything
in your whole entire life,
starting from the
day you were born.
Look, Michelle, here's
your birth announcement.
And there's your
hospital bracelet.
MICHELLE: What's this?
This is your very first
tube of diaper rash cream.
I used to rub it
on your little tushy.
Dad.
Sorry.
Oh, all right, this
is the picture I took
the day Joey and I moved in.
Remember the first time we
tried to change Michelle's diaper?
JESSE: Are you kiddin'?
I still have nightmares.
[LAUGHTER]
Jesse, what if she
needs to be, uh...
changed?
Check it out. Go.
We have a winner.
Now, what?
Joseph, put
yourself in her place.
What would you want done?
JOEY: I've never
changed a diaper.
JESSE: Me neither.
At least you touched one.
All right, look out.
I'll show you how it's done.
Come here, child.
Can you believe this guy?
All right, make yourself useful.
I'll take the south end.
Good.
Watch out. Okay.
[TOGETHER] Step one,
step two. Step one, step two.
Step one, step two.
Okay, good. Look out.
Okay, keep her coming.
Showtime.
Where do we put the baby?
Where do we put the child?
Uh... the pot. Over here.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Joey, this is a living thing.
You don't just
stick it in a pot.
Use a meat rack.
I'm an idiot. Uh... Come on.
Okay. All right, good.
Settle down here. There we go.
Are you gonna cook, Michelle?
We're changing her diaper.
Oh, then how do
you roast a turkey?
Steph, Joey and I are busy.
Joey, strip her.
All right, careful
there. You're in control.
All right, slide it
off and... Ugh! Ugh!
Uh.
Uh...
Good thinking,
Joey. Keep it fresh.
Okay, hold her
up. I'll clean her off.
Good idea. Come on, Michelle.
All right.
You're missing! You're missing!
You're missing!
All right, come on.
Gently now, gently now, gently.
There we go.
This is great. We
should be mothers.
Oh, yeah.
All right, just dry her off.
Okay. Fan her.
Fan her fanny. Fan her fanny.
Fan her fanny. Fan her fanny.
You know, these
babies have it made.
I would kill for
this kind of service.
JESSE: All right, diapers.
Diapers, diapers, diapers.
Where are the diapers?
Diapers.
Diapers, diapers.
Diapers. Diapers.
Hey, super absorbent.
Bring it over.
Okay. Okay, now, what?
Okay, spin her. Spin her.
Spin her. Spin her.
I got her. Good.
All right, now,
wrap her up in this.
Come on, put her right in here.
Here we go.
It's too easy. Works for me.
You spill some
juice on the counter?
Just wipe it up with
baby tidy bottom.
Today.
You guys were dumb.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, we were
learning on the job.
Yeah, every time you
had a first, we had a first.
Like the first time we tried
to give you cough medicine.
All right, Joey, you try to
give her medicine, I give up.
Okay, Michelle.
Here it comes.
[MAKING HIGH-PITCHED
BUZZING SOUND]
Oh, come on, it
tastes really good.
Watch this.
Smile, the baby's watching you.
Mm. Mm.
And she's waiting for her
Uncle Jesse to swallow.
Mm.
This stuff is terrible.
DANNY: Remember
your first workout?
Work it up. And go. Okay.
Then up, now go.
Then up, now breathe.
Now breathe. Now bend.
Now, burn it. Now,
breathe. Now, go. Now, go.
Now, work it, now,
go. Now, feel the burn.
Now, let it breathe.
Now, go. Now, go.
Now, feel the burn and go.
Obviously you feel pretty secure
about those chubby
little legs of yours.
JOEY: And we made
our debut as hairstylists.
Let's give her that
Marilyn Monroe look.
Kind of bangs
sweeping to the left.
Curls framing the face, huh?
Yeah, she's got the
look that can pull it off.
I think it'd be a crime
to cover that
pretty little face.
See, I say, we pull it back,
give her a more
sophisticated kind of look.
More the Madonna,
Brigitte Nielsen kind of thing.
Like this. See, look.
That's Jack Nicholson.
Why don't we give her
kind of a Pebbles
Flintstone, kind of a fun 'do?
That's Don King.
Maybe just a bow. Bow.
DANNY: I remember one
of your biggest discoveries.
You'll tell your sisters
for me, won't you?
Aw, thank you, honey.
You take all the pressure off.
Give me a kiss. Mwah.
Thanks.
All right, little munchkin,
you enjoy your new bed,
but no more jumping
up and down, okay?
Okay, Uncle Jesse.
All right.
Hello.
DANNY: And your
first punishment.
♪ This is no fun, no fun ♪
♪ Looking at the wall ♪
Michelle?
Yes, Daddy?
Are you ready to
be a good girl now?
I'll be a very good girl.
Good.
And did you learn a
lesson from all of this?
Yes, I did. No
swimming in the kitchen.
Yes, no swimming in the kitchen.
That's a very important lesson.
But there's a
bigger lesson here.
Daddy, Uncle Jesse and Joey,
we know what's best for you.
So, honey, when we
ask you to do something,
you should do it.
Deal?
You're the boss.
Okay, then, punishment is over.
Time to play.
No, it's not. Time for bed.
Can we watch Arsenio?
What do you think?
I think it's time for bed.
You think right.
It's time for bed.
To bed, I said.
Daddy?
Am I still your little princess?
Oh, you got it, dude.
I like being your
little princess.
Oh, I like it too, honey.
What do you say,
let's put this new picture
on the very last page.
That's it.
And now, the Michelle Tanner
baby book has come to an end.
That's it? I'm finished?
Well, you're not finished.
Just your book is.
Are you gonna start a new book?
In a few weeks, when
we have our new twins,
we're gonna make
a new book for them.
ALL: Yeah.
Yeah, that's more fun.
Wow. Another book.
I don't want my
book to be finished.
I wanna be the little princess.
Forget my birthday.
I'm staying 4 years old.
Michelle?
Michelle. JESSE: Baby.
STEPH: Michelle,
where are you? Michelle?
Hm. I wonder where
Michelle could be?
You found me. Big deal.
Okay, sweetheart, move over.
Michelle, you have to know,
no matter how old you'd get,
you're always gonna
be my little princess.
Just like Stephanie's
always gonna be
my little ladybug.
And D.J. is always gonna
be my little tennis ball head.
Somebody wanna trade?
I like being the
baby. I'm good at it.
Oh, shorty...
you're not special
'cause you're a baby.
You're special
because you're you.
I oughta know, because
you and I go way back.
We've had a lot of cool
times together, haven't we?
Sing this:
♪ I got you, babe ♪
Sing it.
♪ I got babe ♪
That settles it. You be Sonny.
Sing it again.
♪ I got you, babe ♪
♪ I got a babe ♪
She's back, and
she's cooler than ever.
Yo, hot wheels.
JESSE: Remember
when I almost moved out?
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too, pal.
But we have to put on our
bravest face now, okay?
We gotta be really brave
about this thing, all right?
So let me see your brave face.
Can you smile for me?
Thattagirl.
All right, now, we've got
this bravery thing happening
I want you to give me
the biggest, most gigantic,
most greatest hug
you every gave me
in the whole entire
world. Ready, and go.
Hug, hug, hug... [SMOOCHES]
Thattagirl.
This is a goodbye present.
Michelle, that's your
pig. Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
Well, in that case, here.
I want you to have this.
This is my pink bunny.
I want you to put
it up on the wall,
and whenever you look at
it you can think of me, okay?
You got it, dude.
Goodbye, Michelle.
Goodbye, Uncle Jesse.
You see, Michelle, I
could never leave you
because you're my special pal.
And I love having
you for a little sister.
Yeah, me too.
We've had a lot of laughs.
You wouldn't believe
the things I got you to do.
I don't care what's in the bag.
Oh, no!
I shouldn't do it,
should I, Michelle?
What if...?
Look, Michelle,
I've got a cookie.
Yeah, you want the
cookie? They're yummy.
Want some cookie?
Yeah.
Come get the yummy cookie.
Oops! The cookie accidentally
dropped into the bag.
Go find it.
Unzip the bag, Michelle.
Let's see what's in there.
Never mind the cookie.
Get the zipper open.
Let's see what Uncle
Jesse's hiding in there.
You found it.
May I help you?
She did it.
Shame on you, Michelle.
D.J.: And you
learned a few tricks.
You can be my dog.
I'll call you Peanut.
D.J.: Michelle?
Go hide on the
bed. But no barking.
Hey, Michelle, have
you seen Sparky?
No Sparky here. Have a nice day.
[DOG BARKS]
Did that bunny rabbit just bark?
That was me. Arf, arf, arf.
Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf.
[BARKS]
Maybe it's a doggie.
D.J.: But if we really needed
you, you were always there.
Leave the shirt alone. No.
Leave it alone.
You're in big trouble, mister.
I'm gonna go upstairs
to see your sisters.
They're not doing
anything wrong.
Well, that pretty much
means they are, doesn't it?
You cannot go upstairs.
Oh, yes, I can.
He's coming! He's
coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
Hurry, he's coming. Hurry.
He's coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
He's here.
I did the best I could.
Kimmy, how could you do that?!
It's not polite to yell.
Michelle, I have enough problems
without the polite
police on my tail.
So just stay out of this.
You forgot to say please.
That's it.
This is not polite.
This is not polite.
This is not polite.
This is not polite.
Thank you.
You are not welcome.
May I have that cupcake, please?
No, you may not.
But I was polite
and I said please.
I was polite too. I
said, no, you may not.
Guess what?
Politeness Week is over.
How rude.
You are a piece of work.
Thank you, I think.
What Stephanie's trying to say
is you're a really
cool young lady.
If you got any more
stories about me,
I wanna hear 'em.
All right, a nickel!
All right, a Cheeto!
[JINGLE PLAYS]
Ice cream man. Ice
cream man. Ice cream man.
Wait for me, I got money!
Give me back my money, you pig.
Why are you very mad?
Uncle Jesse locked me out.
Now, why would Uncle
Jesse do something like that?
I don't know. I'm a fun girl.
Well, I'm just
guessing, Michelle,
but I think Uncle
Jesse and Aunt Becky
just want some privacy.
What is privacy?
Well, privacy means
that they just wanna spend
some time together.
Just the two of them.
What are they doing in there?
Well, they're, um...
They're doing their taxes.
Are they gonna do
their taxes every night?
For the first couple of months.
[AS POPEYE] ♪ I'm
Popeye the Sailor Man ♪
♪ I'm Popeye the Sailor Man ♪
♪ I'm strongs to the finish
'Cause I eats me spinach ♪
[TOGETHER] ♪ I'm
Popeye the Sailor Man ♪
Toot, toot. Wow!
A-gah, gah, gah, gah, gah.
A-gah, gah, gah, gah.
♪ I'm a little teapot ♪
♪ Short and stout ♪
♪ Well, here's my handle ♪
♪ This be my spout ♪
♪ When I get all hot ♪
♪ You're gonna hear me shout ♪
JESSE & JOEY: ♪ Say,
just tip me over, baby ♪
♪ And pour me out ♪
Rock 'n' roll!
♪ There she was Just
a-walkin' down the street ♪
♪ Singin': ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ Snapping her fingers
And a-shufflin' her feet ♪
♪ Singin': ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ She looked good ♪
♪ She looked good ♪
♪ She looked fine ♪
♪ She looked fine ♪
♪ She looked good Looked fine ♪
♪ Then, I nearly lost my mind ♪
ALL: ♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
[JOE COCKER'S "YOU ARE
SO BEAUTIFUL" PLAYING]
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
♪ To me ♪
♪ Can't ya see? ♪
♪ You're everything
I hoped for ♪
♪ Everything I need ♪
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
♪ To me ♪
Wow, I'm cooler than I thought.
And the older you get,
the cooler you're gonna be.
But you gotta keep growing up.
So are you ready to turn 5 now?
Yes, I am. It's party time!
Ah, not so fast.
You still have two hours
and 13 minutes to go.
This is the longest
day of my life.
Okay, party animals.
We've got some
more decoratin' to do.
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
[♪♪♪]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ How did I get
Delivered here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me, please ♪
♪ This whole world's
Confusin' me ♪
♪ Flowers as mean ♪
♪ As you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird Who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
Inside you whispers: ♪
♪ "Kid, don't sell your
dreams So soon" ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
♪ Where is everybody? ♪
Right here.
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
Is there something
you'd like to say to me?
Michelle, we said happy
birthday to you at breakfast
and everywhere else
we saw you today.
But I'm 5 years old.
This is a very big day.
[IN UNISON] Happy
birthday, Michelle.
Don't say it if
you don't mean it.
[UPBEAT, IN UNISON]
Happy birthday, Michelle!
Why, thank you.
Is it time for my party yet?
Nope.
You still have two hours
and 29 minutes to go.
How long is that?
Two Sesame Streets
and a Mister Rogers.
I'll never make it.
Oh!
Let's start the party now.
Michelle, your
friends aren't here yet.
Who needs 'em? We got cake.
We got balloons. Let's do it.
I know what we can
do until they get here.
Why don't we take your
official birthday picture
for your baby book?
Jess, you grab the book.
Joey, set up the shot.
I'll grab the camera.
This is gonna be the
best picture I ever took.
All right.
Okay, now give me
a big 5-year-old smile.
Not you. The other 5-year-old.
Cheese!
All right, Michelle.
This has everything
in your whole entire life,
starting from the
day you were born.
Look, Michelle, here's
your birth announcement.
And there's your
hospital bracelet.
MICHELLE: What's this?
This is your very first
tube of diaper rash cream.
I used to rub it
on your little tushy.
Dad.
Sorry.
Oh, all right, this
is the picture I took
the day Joey and I moved in.
Remember the first time we
tried to change Michelle's diaper?
JESSE: Are you kiddin'?
I still have nightmares.
[LAUGHTER]
Jesse, what if she
needs to be, uh...
changed?
Check it out. Go.
We have a winner.
Now, what?
Joseph, put
yourself in her place.
What would you want done?
JOEY: I've never
changed a diaper.
JESSE: Me neither.
At least you touched one.
All right, look out.
I'll show you how it's done.
Come here, child.
Can you believe this guy?
All right, make yourself useful.
I'll take the south end.
Good.
Watch out. Okay.
[TOGETHER] Step one,
step two. Step one, step two.
Step one, step two.
Okay, good. Look out.
Okay, keep her coming.
Showtime.
Where do we put the baby?
Where do we put the child?
Uh... the pot. Over here.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Joey, this is a living thing.
You don't just
stick it in a pot.
Use a meat rack.
I'm an idiot. Uh... Come on.
Okay. All right, good.
Settle down here. There we go.
Are you gonna cook, Michelle?
We're changing her diaper.
Oh, then how do
you roast a turkey?
Steph, Joey and I are busy.
Joey, strip her.
All right, careful
there. You're in control.
All right, slide it
off and... Ugh! Ugh!
Uh.
Uh...
Good thinking,
Joey. Keep it fresh.
Okay, hold her
up. I'll clean her off.
Good idea. Come on, Michelle.
All right.
You're missing! You're missing!
You're missing!
All right, come on.
Gently now, gently now, gently.
There we go.
This is great. We
should be mothers.
Oh, yeah.
All right, just dry her off.
Okay. Fan her.
Fan her fanny. Fan her fanny.
Fan her fanny. Fan her fanny.
You know, these
babies have it made.
I would kill for
this kind of service.
JESSE: All right, diapers.
Diapers, diapers, diapers.
Where are the diapers?
Diapers.
Diapers, diapers.
Diapers. Diapers.
Hey, super absorbent.
Bring it over.
Okay. Okay, now, what?
Okay, spin her. Spin her.
Spin her. Spin her.
I got her. Good.
All right, now,
wrap her up in this.
Come on, put her right in here.
Here we go.
It's too easy. Works for me.
You spill some
juice on the counter?
Just wipe it up with
baby tidy bottom.
Today.
You guys were dumb.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, we were
learning on the job.
Yeah, every time you
had a first, we had a first.
Like the first time we tried
to give you cough medicine.
All right, Joey, you try to
give her medicine, I give up.
Okay, Michelle.
Here it comes.
[MAKING HIGH-PITCHED
BUZZING SOUND]
Oh, come on, it
tastes really good.
Watch this.
Smile, the baby's watching you.
Mm. Mm.
And she's waiting for her
Uncle Jesse to swallow.
Mm.
This stuff is terrible.
DANNY: Remember
your first workout?
Work it up. And go. Okay.
Then up, now go.
Then up, now breathe.
Now breathe. Now bend.
Now, burn it. Now,
breathe. Now, go. Now, go.
Now, work it, now,
go. Now, feel the burn.
Now, let it breathe.
Now, go. Now, go.
Now, feel the burn and go.
Obviously you feel pretty secure
about those chubby
little legs of yours.
JOEY: And we made
our debut as hairstylists.
Let's give her that
Marilyn Monroe look.
Kind of bangs
sweeping to the left.
Curls framing the face, huh?
Yeah, she's got the
look that can pull it off.
I think it'd be a crime
to cover that
pretty little face.
See, I say, we pull it back,
give her a more
sophisticated kind of look.
More the Madonna,
Brigitte Nielsen kind of thing.
Like this. See, look.
That's Jack Nicholson.
Why don't we give her
kind of a Pebbles
Flintstone, kind of a fun 'do?
That's Don King.
Maybe just a bow. Bow.
DANNY: I remember one
of your biggest discoveries.
You'll tell your sisters
for me, won't you?
Aw, thank you, honey.
You take all the pressure off.
Give me a kiss. Mwah.
Thanks.
All right, little munchkin,
you enjoy your new bed,
but no more jumping
up and down, okay?
Okay, Uncle Jesse.
All right.
Hello.
DANNY: And your
first punishment.
♪ This is no fun, no fun ♪
♪ Looking at the wall ♪
Michelle?
Yes, Daddy?
Are you ready to
be a good girl now?
I'll be a very good girl.
Good.
And did you learn a
lesson from all of this?
Yes, I did. No
swimming in the kitchen.
Yes, no swimming in the kitchen.
That's a very important lesson.
But there's a
bigger lesson here.
Daddy, Uncle Jesse and Joey,
we know what's best for you.
So, honey, when we
ask you to do something,
you should do it.
Deal?
You're the boss.
Okay, then, punishment is over.
Time to play.
No, it's not. Time for bed.
Can we watch Arsenio?
What do you think?
I think it's time for bed.
You think right.
It's time for bed.
To bed, I said.
Daddy?
Am I still your little princess?
Oh, you got it, dude.
I like being your
little princess.
Oh, I like it too, honey.
What do you say,
let's put this new picture
on the very last page.
That's it.
And now, the Michelle Tanner
baby book has come to an end.
That's it? I'm finished?
Well, you're not finished.
Just your book is.
Are you gonna start a new book?
In a few weeks, when
we have our new twins,
we're gonna make
a new book for them.
ALL: Yeah.
Yeah, that's more fun.
Wow. Another book.
I don't want my
book to be finished.
I wanna be the little princess.
Forget my birthday.
I'm staying 4 years old.
Michelle?
Michelle. JESSE: Baby.
STEPH: Michelle,
where are you? Michelle?
Hm. I wonder where
Michelle could be?
You found me. Big deal.
Okay, sweetheart, move over.
Michelle, you have to know,
no matter how old you'd get,
you're always gonna
be my little princess.
Just like Stephanie's
always gonna be
my little ladybug.
And D.J. is always gonna
be my little tennis ball head.
Somebody wanna trade?
I like being the
baby. I'm good at it.
Oh, shorty...
you're not special
'cause you're a baby.
You're special
because you're you.
I oughta know, because
you and I go way back.
We've had a lot of cool
times together, haven't we?
Sing this:
♪ I got you, babe ♪
Sing it.
♪ I got babe ♪
That settles it. You be Sonny.
Sing it again.
♪ I got you, babe ♪
♪ I got a babe ♪
She's back, and
she's cooler than ever.
Yo, hot wheels.
JESSE: Remember
when I almost moved out?
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too, pal.
But we have to put on our
bravest face now, okay?
We gotta be really brave
about this thing, all right?
So let me see your brave face.
Can you smile for me?
Thattagirl.
All right, now, we've got
this bravery thing happening
I want you to give me
the biggest, most gigantic,
most greatest hug
you every gave me
in the whole entire
world. Ready, and go.
Hug, hug, hug... [SMOOCHES]
Thattagirl.
This is a goodbye present.
Michelle, that's your
pig. Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
Well, in that case, here.
I want you to have this.
This is my pink bunny.
I want you to put
it up on the wall,
and whenever you look at
it you can think of me, okay?
You got it, dude.
Goodbye, Michelle.
Goodbye, Uncle Jesse.
You see, Michelle, I
could never leave you
because you're my special pal.
And I love having
you for a little sister.
Yeah, me too.
We've had a lot of laughs.
You wouldn't believe
the things I got you to do.
I don't care what's in the bag.
Oh, no!
I shouldn't do it,
should I, Michelle?
What if...?
Look, Michelle,
I've got a cookie.
Yeah, you want the
cookie? They're yummy.
Want some cookie?
Yeah.
Come get the yummy cookie.
Oops! The cookie accidentally
dropped into the bag.
Go find it.
Unzip the bag, Michelle.
Let's see what's in there.
Never mind the cookie.
Get the zipper open.
Let's see what Uncle
Jesse's hiding in there.
You found it.
May I help you?
She did it.
Shame on you, Michelle.
D.J.: And you
learned a few tricks.
You can be my dog.
I'll call you Peanut.
D.J.: Michelle?
Go hide on the
bed. But no barking.
Hey, Michelle, have
you seen Sparky?
No Sparky here. Have a nice day.
[DOG BARKS]
Did that bunny rabbit just bark?
That was me. Arf, arf, arf.
Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf.
[BARKS]
Maybe it's a doggie.
D.J.: But if we really needed
you, you were always there.
Leave the shirt alone. No.
Leave it alone.
You're in big trouble, mister.
I'm gonna go upstairs
to see your sisters.
They're not doing
anything wrong.
Well, that pretty much
means they are, doesn't it?
You cannot go upstairs.
Oh, yes, I can.
He's coming! He's
coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
Hurry, he's coming. Hurry.
He's coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming!
He's here.
I did the best I could.
Kimmy, how could you do that?!
It's not polite to yell.
Michelle, I have enough problems
without the polite
police on my tail.
So just stay out of this.
You forgot to say please.
That's it.
This is not polite.
This is not polite.
This is not polite.
This is not polite.
Thank you.
You are not welcome.
May I have that cupcake, please?
No, you may not.
But I was polite
and I said please.
I was polite too. I
said, no, you may not.
Guess what?
Politeness Week is over.
How rude.
You are a piece of work.
Thank you, I think.
What Stephanie's trying to say
is you're a really
cool young lady.
If you got any more
stories about me,
I wanna hear 'em.
All right, a nickel!
All right, a Cheeto!
[JINGLE PLAYS]
Ice cream man. Ice
cream man. Ice cream man.
Wait for me, I got money!
Give me back my money, you pig.
Why are you very mad?
Uncle Jesse locked me out.
Now, why would Uncle
Jesse do something like that?
I don't know. I'm a fun girl.
Well, I'm just
guessing, Michelle,
but I think Uncle
Jesse and Aunt Becky
just want some privacy.
What is privacy?
Well, privacy means
that they just wanna spend
some time together.
Just the two of them.
What are they doing in there?
Well, they're, um...
They're doing their taxes.
Are they gonna do
their taxes every night?
For the first couple of months.
[AS POPEYE] ♪ I'm
Popeye the Sailor Man ♪
♪ I'm Popeye the Sailor Man ♪
♪ I'm strongs to the finish
'Cause I eats me spinach ♪
[TOGETHER] ♪ I'm
Popeye the Sailor Man ♪
Toot, toot. Wow!
A-gah, gah, gah, gah, gah.
A-gah, gah, gah, gah.
♪ I'm a little teapot ♪
♪ Short and stout ♪
♪ Well, here's my handle ♪
♪ This be my spout ♪
♪ When I get all hot ♪
♪ You're gonna hear me shout ♪
JESSE & JOEY: ♪ Say,
just tip me over, baby ♪
♪ And pour me out ♪
Rock 'n' roll!
♪ There she was Just
a-walkin' down the street ♪
♪ Singin': ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ Snapping her fingers
And a-shufflin' her feet ♪
♪ Singin': ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ She looked good ♪
♪ She looked good ♪
♪ She looked fine ♪
♪ She looked fine ♪
♪ She looked good Looked fine ♪
♪ Then, I nearly lost my mind ♪
ALL: ♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
♪ Doo-wah-diddy
Diddy-dum, diddy-doo ♪
[JOE COCKER'S "YOU ARE
SO BEAUTIFUL" PLAYING]
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
♪ To me ♪
♪ Can't ya see? ♪
♪ You're everything
I hoped for ♪
♪ Everything I need ♪
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
♪ To me ♪
Wow, I'm cooler than I thought.
And the older you get,
the cooler you're gonna be.
But you gotta keep growing up.
So are you ready to turn 5 now?
Yes, I am. It's party time!
Ah, not so fast.
You still have two hours
and 13 minutes to go.
This is the longest
day of my life.
Okay, party animals.
We've got some
more decoratin' to do.
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
[♪♪♪]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪