Full House (1987–1995): Season 4, Episode 5 - Good News, Bad News - full transcript

OK, MICHELLE, NOW I'M GONNA
TEACH YOU YOUR FIRST JOKE, OK?

ALL RIGHT. NOW, WHEN
I SAY, "KNOCK, KNOCK,"

YOU SAY, "WHO'S THERE?"

OK. OK?

KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE?

BOO.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

NO, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO SAY, "BOO WHO?"

WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE THAT'S
PART OF THE JOKE.

I SAY, "KNOCK,
KNOCK," "WHO'S THERE?"



"BOO." "BOO WHO?"

DON'T CRY, IT'S ONLY A JOKE.

GOT IT?

GOT IT, DUDE.

GOOD.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHO'S THERE?

IT'S DAD.

DAD WHO?

OH, YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN DAD?

DON'T CRY, IT'S ONLY A JOKE.

♪ AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪



♪ THE MILKMAN, THE PAPER BOY ♪

♪ EVENIN' TV ♪

♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪

♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪

♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S ♪

♪ CONFUSIN' ME ♪

♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪

♪ AIN'T A BIRD WHO
KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪

♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪

♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A HEART ♪

♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A FACE OF
SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ A LIGHT IS WAITIN' ♪

♪ TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ DO BE DO BA BA DA ♪♪

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

WANNA PLAY?

NOT RIGHT NOW, MICHELLE.

BUT YOU'RE MY FAVORITE SISTER.

REALLY? I'M YOUR
FAVORITE SISTER?

THAT'S SO SWEET.

BUT I'M KIND OF BUSY RIGHT NOW.

TODAY THEY MADE ME EDITOR

OF THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
YOUR FAVORITE SISTER NOW?

EH.

HEY, BABES.

HEY, STEPH.

WANNA PLAY?

YOU'RE MY FAVORITE SISTER.

I AM? REALLY?

DID YOU HEAR THAT, D.J.?

ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS.

LET'S PLAY SHADOW.

NO, THANK YOU.

NO, THANK YOU.

I SAID, NO, THANK YOU.

I SAID, NO, THANK YOU.

OK... OK...

I'LL DO ANYTHING STEPHANIE SAYS.

I'LL DO ANYTHING
THAT STEPHIE SAYS.

STEPHIE SAYS STOP PLAYING.

STEPHIE SAYS STOP PLAYING.

IT WAS WORTH A SHOT.

IT WAS WORTH A SHOT.

HI, D.J.

HI.

HI, THERE, TANNER TOTS.

OH, GREAT. KIMMY'S HERE.

OH, GREAT. KIMMY'S HERE.

YOU GUYS SOUND
JUST LIKE MY PARENTS.

OK, COPYCAT, I'M
GONNA GO EAT BROCCOLI.

OK, COPYCAT, I'M GONNA
EAT SOME ICE CREAM.

ALL RIGHT, MADAM EDITOR!

GIVE ME A JOB ON THAT PAPER,

AND WE ARE GONNA
RULE THE SCHOOL.

YOU WANNA WORK ON THE PAPER?

I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN
YOU READ A PAPER.

I READ PAPERS WHENEVER I'M
IN LINE AT THE SUPERMARKET.

WELL, I DON'T THINK WE'RE
GONNA NEED ANY ARTICLES

ABOUT FINDING ELVIS ON MARS.

IT WAS VENUS.

COME ON, I NEED AN
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY

SO IT LOOKS LIKE I CARE
ABOUT THE STUPID SCHOOL.

WELL, KIMMY, I'D REALLY LIKE
TO PUT YOU ON THE PAPER,

BUT THE ONLY THING
LEFT IS SPORTS EDITOR.

THAT'S PERFECT FOR ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT SPORTS.

SURE I DO. MY MOM USED TO
BE A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER.

PLEASE?

YOU'RE MY BEST BEST BEST FRIEND.

OH, NOT THE PUPPY DOG FACE.

[WHIMPERING LIKE A PUPPY]

OH... NOT THE WHIMPER.

OK, YOU'VE GOT THE JOB.

JUST DON'T LICK MY FACE.

ALL RIGHT! THANKS, D.J.

I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO WRITES FOR A NEWSPAPER!

IT'S CALLED A JOURNALIST.

REALLY? IT SOUNDS SO GEEKY.

HIDE ME! HIDE ME!

HIDE ME! HIDE ME!

THANKS, YOU GUYS.

THANKS, YOU GUYS.

ALL RIGHT! STEVIE WONDER-DOG.

♪ ISN'T SHE LOVELY ♪

♪ ISN'T SHE WONDERFUL ♪

GOOD DOGGIE. YES.

THIS IS GREAT.

WE STARTED OUR OWN
PRODUCTION COMPANY

SO YOU COULD DO
STUPID PET TRICKS.

SHH! DON'T INSULT
OUR ONLY CLIENT.

AS LONG AS WE'RE WAITING
FOR THE PHONE TO RING...

SPOCK, THE VULCAN RETRIEVER.

YES, SEE SPOCK RUN.

SEE SPOCK LIVE LONG AND SLOBBER.

THIS IS SO STUPID.

TWO GROWN MEN SITTING
IN AN ATTIC, WASTING TIM...

HANG ON, I GOT ONE. ALL RIGHT.

ELVIS DOG.

♪ WELL, SINCE MY
POODLE LEFT ME ♪

♪ WOOF WOOF ♪

♪ I'VE FOUND A NEW
PLACE TO SMELL ♪

♪ IT'S DOWN AT THE
END OF LONELY STREET ♪

♪ AT HEARTBREAK HOTEL ♪

♪ WOOF WOOF, WOOF WOOF ♪

WELL, I KNEW WHEN I
INVESTED IN THIS COMPANY,

YOU BOYS WOULD MAKE ME PROUD.

COMET, BAD DOG! GET AWAY
FROM THE EQUIPMENT, STOP IT!

DANNY, WE'RE GOING
CRAZY. WE NEED A JOB.

ANY WORD ABOUT US
SHOOTING THAT COMMERCIAL

FOR WAKE UP, SAN FRANCISCO?

LET ME TELL THEM. I WANNA

TELL THEM. YOU ALWAYS
GET TO TELL THEM.

SOMEBODY TELL US.

OK, WE'LL TELL THEM
ON 3. READY? 1... 2...

YOU GOT THE JOB.

YOU CHEATED!

WE GOT THE JOB?

UH-HUH.

YES!

THANKS, DANNY.

YOUR WELCOME.

ALL RIGHT! OUR FIRST JOB

AT OUR VERY OWN
PRODUCTION COMPANY.

THAT'S RIGHT. OUR COMMERCIAL
IS GONNA HAVE THE WHOLE

TOWN PSYCHED UP FOR THE
NEW WAKE UP, SAN FRANCISCO

STARRING REBECCA
DONALDSON AND DANNY TANNER.

NOW, LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT
WE GOT WORKED OUT HERE,

CHECK THIS OUT, YOU GUYS.

WE OPEN UP WITH A
BED ON THE SET, RIGHT?

JESS, EXCUSE ME, THIS IS...
THIS IS SMALL ITSY-BITSY POINT,

AND IT'S HARDLY
WORTH MENTIONING,

BUT I CAN SEE THAT
YOU'RE WONDERING

IT'S... IT'S ALWAYS BEEN...

"STARRING DANNY TANNER
AND REBECCA DONALDSON."

OK, BACK TO OUR STORY...

START WITH THE BED...

OF COURSE ONE COULD
MAKE THE ARGUMENT,

THOUGH NO ONE HERE IS ARGUING,

THAT SINCE THE SHOW
IS CHANGING ITS IMAGE,

OTHER CHANGES MIGHT
BE LONG OVERDUE.

I THOUGHT WE DISCUSSED
ALL THE CHANGES

THAT NEEDED CHANGING.

IF YOU'RE MAKING CHANGES
FOR SAKE OF CHANGES,

WELL, THAT CHANGES
EVERYTHING, DOESN'T IT?

DANNY, I JUST THOUGHT THE SHOW
WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE BALANCED

IF, LET'S SAY, WELL, I
TALKED A LITTLE MORE

AND YOU TALKED A LITTLE LESS.

WELL, MAYBE I DO GO ON A BIT,

BUT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO ENJOY IT.

YOU'RE ALWAYS SITTING THERE

HAPPY AND, HUH, PERKY.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH PERKY?

PERKY'S GREAT. MAYBE
IT'S A COFFEE THING.

MAYBE YOU'VE BEEN
DRINKING A LOT OF COFFEE.

MAYBE WE COULD DO
THIS WITH PUPPETS.

YEAH, I THINK LITTLE
HAND PUPPETS.

ARTICLES. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

HEY, BITTERMAN, YOU
GOT YOUR ARTICLE?

SOME ARTICLE. I MEAN,

ALL I DO IS COPY THE MENU
FROM THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA.

COME ON, YOU WRITE THE MOST
POPULAR COLUMN IN THE WHOLE PAPER...

TODAY'S LUNCH.

I SHOULD BE SPORTS EDITOR,

NOT YOUR FRIEND KIMMY GIBBLER.

DEEJ, YOU'RE GONNA GO NUTS.

I GOT AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
WITH ROBBIE HAWKINS,

THE STAR OF THE BASKETBALL TEAM.

ROBBIE HAWKINS ISN'T EVEN
ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM.

HE'S THE EQUIPMENT MANAGER.

YEAH, BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE

PASSING OUT THESE
LITTLE CUPS OF GATORADE.

SEE WHAT I MEAN?

WELL, I'M SURE IT'S A VERY
WELL-WRITTEN ARTICLE...

WRITTEN ON A NAPKIN.

READ IT OUT LOUD.

THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.

WHAT'S FOR LUNCH, BITTERMAN?

"THIS DAY IN SPORTS

"BY KIMBERLY LOUISE GIBBLER.

"EVER WONDER ABOUT THAT MEGA-CUTE
GUY WHO'S ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM

"WHO'S ALWAYS WIPING
UP THE SWEAT PUDDLES?

"IT'S ROBBIE HAWKINS,

"AND GIRLS, HE SPOTS THOSE
PUDDLES WITH EYES OF BLUE,

"NOT SKY-BLUE,

"BUT MORE LIKE
TURQUOISEY-GRAY-BLUE

WITH LITTLE SPECKS OF GREEN"?

HOW'S THAT FOR
INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING?

KIMMY, YOU FORGOT TO
INVESTIGATE WHO WON THE GAME.

YOU'VE GOT TO REWRITE THIS.

REWRITE IT? YOU
MEAN WRITE IT AGAIN?

YES, WITH DIFFERENT WORDS...

WORDS ABOUT SPORTS.

IF YOU THINK I'M SO BAD, WHY
YOU EVEN GIVE ME THE JOB?

I GAVE IT TO YOU BECAUSE
WE'RE BEST FRIENDS.

THAT'S NEPOTISM.

IT IS NOT. IT'S FAVORITISM.

IT'S STILL AN ISM.

LOOK, KIMMY, I NEED A NEW
ARTICLE WRITTEN RIGHT AWAY.

THEN GO AHEAD AND WRITE ONE.

THAT'S YOUR JOB.

WHAT'S YOUR JOB...
QUEEN OF THE PAPER?

OOH... OOH... OOH...
LOOK, I'M THE EDITOR,

AND I'M TELLING
YOU TO DO THIS OVER.

NO WAY, I SKIPPED MY NAP
IN ALGEBRA TO WRITE THAT.

I'M NOT DOING IT.

THEN I GUESS YOU'RE
NOT SPORTS EDITOR.

THEN I GUESS WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.

FINE.

FINE.

FINE. FINE.

AHH, NO MICHELLE.

AHH, NO MICHELLE.

GRR!

GRR!

SHE IS DRIVING ME BANANAS.

SHE IS DRIVING ME BANANAS.

STEPH, NOT NOW. I'VE
HAD A HORRIBLE DAY.

KIMMY AND I ARE NEVER
SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER AGAIN.

GEE, THAT'S A SHAME.

GEE, THAT'S A SHAME.

OK, BIG SHOT, LET'S SEE
YOU TRY AND HANDLE THIS.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

AND TO THE REPUBLIC
FOR WHICH IT STANDS

ONE NATION INDIVISIBLE,

WITH LIBERTY AND
JUSTICE FOR ALL.

TRY THAT.

TRY THAT.

AYE, YI YI YI YI.

AYE, YI YI YI YI.

D.J., I THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT YOU SAID TO ME TODAY

AND THAT'S WHY I WROTE THIS.

OH, KIMMY, YOU DID THE
REWRITE ON REAL PAPER.

THE GIBBLER GAZETTE?

READ IT AND WEEP.

"POWER-HUNGRY
EDITOR DONNA JO TANNER

"STABS BEST FRIEND IN BACK.

ACTUAL PHOTO ON PAGE TWO."

YOU PASTED MY HEAD ON
FREDDY KRUGER'S BODY?

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

THAT'S IT. NOW OUR
FRIENDSHIP IS REALLY OVER.

THANKS. THAT FACE
WILL LOOK GREAT

ON FRED FLINTSTONE'S BODY.

OK, LET'S REHEARSE THIS OUT.

REMEMBER, YOU TWO ARE TWO
TYPICAL SAN FRANCISCO VIEWERS, OK?

AND IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING.
YOU'RE JUST WAKING UP.

YEAH, YOUR FACE IS PUFFY,
YOUR HAIR IS SMUSHED,

YOU GOT THAT WHITE CRUD CAKED

ON THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH...

JOEY, YOU'RE GROSSING THEM OUT.

COME ON.

LET'S REHEARSE THIS.

READY?

AND... ACTION!

WAKE UP, SAN FRANCISCO!

HI, I'M DANNY TANNER.

AND I'M REBECCA DONALDSON.

AND STARTING NEXT WEEK, YOU'LL
BE SEEING A NEW AND IMPROVED...

I'M SORRY, I HATE
TO INTERRUPT...

HERE WE GO.

AT THE RISK OF TALKING TOO MUCH,

GUYS SHOULDN'T WE BE WAKING
UP A LITTLE MORE NATURALLY?

SHE SHOOTING UP LIKE
A POP TART IN A TOASTER.

OH! WELL, EXCUSE ME
FOR BEING SO PERKY,

BUT I THOUGHT THE IDEA

WAS TO WAKE UP WITH SOME
ENERGY, RIGHT, PUMPKIN?

YES, SWEETHEART.

I'LL HANDLE HER. YOU
HANDLE THE TALL ONE.

AW, HONEY MUFFIN, I LOVE YOU.

AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU WOKE UP.

HE'S PLAYING FAVORITES.

AW, HONEY MUFFIN...

I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVE
THE WAY YOU WOKE UP.

THERE. NOW YOU
FEEL BETTER, DANNY?

A LITTLE BIT. ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, LET'S COMPROMISE HERE.

DANNY, WHEN YOU WAKE UP,

WAKE UP A LITTLE
MORE... POP TARTY.

ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART, WHEN YOU
WAKE UP TRY TO BE A LITTLE MORE STIFF,

LIKE YOUR PARTNER.

OK, A LITTLE MORE MAKEUP
FOR MISS DONALDSON, PLEASE.

ACCENTUATE THE CHEEKBONES.

VERY NICE. WATCH THE
HAIR. THANK YOU, GIRLS.

HOW DO I LOOK?

DANNY, YOU'RE A FOX.

THANKS, JOEY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

I FEEL A LOT OF
LOVE IN THIS ROOM.

AND... ACTION!

CUT! AH!

LOOK, I' SORRY, JUST ONE MORE
TEENSY-WEENSY LITTLE PROBLEM.

HOW COME ALL THE LIGHTS ARE
OVER ON HER SIDE OF THE BED,

AND I'M IN THE SHADOWS
LIKE A TROLL UNDER A BRIDGE?

DANIEL, DANIEL, DANIEL.

WE... WE FEEL THAT
TOO MUCH LIGHT

MAY ACCENTUATE THE
ANGULARITY OF YOUR FEATURES.

ARE YOU SAYING
MY NOSE IS TOO BIG?

NO, NO, NO, YOUR NOSE
IS JUST THE RIGHT SIZE.

YOUR FACE IS JUST
A LITTLE TOO SMALL.

AH! GOOD ONE, HONEY.

THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.

OK, LET'S REHEARSE
THIS BEGINNING TO END

ONCE WITH NO STOPS
PLEASE. THAT'S RIGHT.

DANNY, PERK IT UP,
BECKY, PERK IT DOWN.

AND... ACTION!

WAKE UP, SAN FRANCISCO!

HEY, I'M THE PERKY DANNY TANNER.

I'M THE STIFF
REBECCA DONALDSON...

AND STARTING NEXT WEEK,

YOU'LL SEEING A NEW AND
IMPROVED WAKE UP, SAN FRANCISCO.

IT'S WARMER.

IT'S FRIENDLIER.

LET OUR HAPPY HOME...

BE A PART OF YOUR HAPPY HOME.

GET YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

GRAB YOURSELF A CUP OF COFFEE...

AND A POP TART.

AND JOIN US EVERY
MORNING AT 9:00

AS WE SAY... WAKE
UP, SAN FRANCISCO.

THAT LOOKED GOOD.

YEAH, IT WORKS FOR ME.

ARE YOU STILL TYPING?

ARE YOU STILL TYPING?

MICHELLE, AREN'T YOU TIRED
OF THE SHADOW GAME YET?

NO WAY, JOSE.

NO WAY, JOSE.

HEY, THAT'S MY GAME.

HEY, THAT'S MY GAME.

I QUIT.

I QUIT.

I'M FREE!

I'M FREE!

PLEASE GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK.

PLEASE GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK.

I LOVE THIS GAME.

HEY, DEEJ.

HEY, HOW'D IT GO?

WELL, WE SHOT A
GREAT COMMERCIAL.

UNFORTUNATELY, IT TOOK
US 24 COFFEE CUPS TO GET IT.

YOU KEEP SAYING IT'S MY
FAULT. IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

BECAUSE IT'S...

HEY, NO FIGHTING
IN FRONT OF THE KID.

FINE. FINE.

IT'S OK, I'VE BEEN
FIGHTING ALL DAY.

I FIRED KIMMY FROM THE PAPER.

YOU FIRED YOUR BEST FRIEND?

EX-BEST FRIEND.

D.J., I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
ACTUALLY SAYING THIS,

BUT DON'T YOU THINK YOU AND
KIMMY OUGHT TO TRY WORK THIS OUT?

I AM. I'M WORKING
ON AN EDITORIAL

THAT'S GONNA TRASH
HER REPUTATION.

I'VE GOT SECRETS STORED
UP SINCE KINDERGARTEN.

YEAH, BUT YOU'VE BEEN
THROUGH SO MUCH TOGETHER.

YOU'RE A TEAM. YOU'RE PARTNERS.

YEAH, TAKE A LOOK AT
YOUR DAD AND BECKY.

THEY'D NEVER LET A LITTLE
SQUABBLE COME BETWEEN THEM.

THEY'RE WAY TOO MATURE FOR THAT.

YEAH, DEEJ, NO MATTER
WHAT YOUR DIFFERENCES ARE,

YOU KNOW, YOU AND KIMMY
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE

FOR EACH OTHER, RIGHT?

'CAUSE YOU TWO CARE
ABOUT EACH OTHER.

DEEJ, IT DOESN'T TAKE STRENGTH

TO HOLD A GRUDGE.

IT TAKES STRENGTH
TO LET GO OF ONE.

NOW, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
IN A FRIENDSHIP IS FORGIVENESS.

I'M SORRY. OH, I'M SORRY, TOO.

I'M SORRY.

YOU SEE THAT, DEEJ?

DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU
WANNA RUN NEXT DOOR

AND GIVE KIMMY A BIG HUG?

NO, NOT REALLY.

THANKS FOR THE TALK.

I WONDER IF "CHEESE FOR
BRAINS" IS HYPHENATED.

WELL, AT LEAST OUR SPEECH
SAVED ONE FRIENDSHIP.

DANNY, IF MY PERKINESS
EVER GETS ON YOUR NERVES,

YOU JUST LET ME KNOW.

AND IF I EVER START TALKING
TO MUCH OR RAMBLING,

OR BABBLING, OR JUST
RUNNING OFF THE MOUTH...

DANNY... I'LL SHUT UP.

OK, BOYS, THIS IS THE LAST TIME

YOU'LL SEE KIMMY
GIBBLER IN THIS HOUSE.

I'M RETURNING ALL YOUR STUFF.

JESSE, HERE'S YOUR HAIRBRUSH.

HERE. YOU CAN KEEP THE HAIR.

JOEY, HERE ARE YOUR CAR KEYS.

TIME FOR A NEW CAR STEREO.

TIME FOR A NEW CAR ALARM.

AND MR. T,

HERE IS YOUR ANSWERING
MACHINE BEEPER.

BY THE WAY, CALL YOUR MOM.

THAT'S ALL I BORROWED
FROM YOU GUYS.

ALL RIGHT, KIMMY, TO
BORROW, YOU NEED CONSENT.

OTHERWISE, IT'S CALLED STEALING.

MR. T, I'LL MISS YOUR DRY
SENSE OF HUMOR MOST OF ALL.

"BY SECOND GRADE,

"KIMMY'S DISEASED MIND
REACHED A NEW LOW.

"SHE FAKED THE MUMPS

WITH TWO HOSTESS SNOWBALLS
STUFFED IN HER CHEEKS."

I DID IT.

I LOST HER GOING
THROUGH THE DOGGIE DOOR.

[KNOCK KNOCK]

OH, PLEASE, DON'T
LET IT BE MICHELLE...

IT'S KIMMY GIBBLER.

OR KIMMY GIBBLER.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, GIBBLER?

BRINGING BACK ALL
YOUR STUFF, TANNER.

STUFF?

TELL KIMMY TO LEAVE
MY STUFF AND GO.

D.J. SAYS GET YOU AND YOUR
CHICKEN LEGS OUT OF HERE.

TELL YOUR SISTER I WANT
ALL OF MY STUFF BACK, TOO.

KIMMY SAYS SHE WANTS HER
STUFF BACK SO SHE CAN LEAVE

AND NEVER EVER COME
BACK HERE AGAIN. EVER.

I'LL BE HAPPY TO GIVE IT TO HER.

FINE. HERE'S THE BANANARAMA TAPE

YOU GOT ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW. I GAVE
YOU BANANARAMA FOR CHRISTMAS.

FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, I
BOUGHT YOU THE BANGLES.

BANGLES, BANANARAMA,
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS,
YOU TWO ARE HISTORY.

HERE'S YOUR FANNY PACK.

HERE ARE YOUR LEG WARMERS.

YOUR PINEAPPLE LIP GLOSS.

YOUR ERIK ESTRADA
CHIPS ACTION FIGURE.

YOUR OLD RETAINER.

YOUR SHRUNKEN HEAD.

YOU GUYS HAD A
WEIRD RELATIONSHIP.

THIS IS NOT MY SHRUNKEN HEAD.

YES, IT IS.

YOU GAVE IT TO ME IN THIRD
GRADE AT THE CARNIVAL.

OH, RIGHT.

WE RODE ON THE SCREAMING SIREN,

AND YOU GOT SICK.

YOU GAVE HIM TO ME
TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

YEAH, AN THEN YOU SAID IT LOOKED
LIKE OUR TEACHER MRS. HUNT.

ACTUALLY, MRS. HUNT'S
HEAD WAS SMALLER.

GIRLS, WHY ARE WE LAUGHING?

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING.

WE'VE BEEN THROUGH
A LOT TOGETHER, HUH?

NO...

YEAH. IT WOULD BE A SHAME

TO GIVE ALL THIS
GOOD STUFF BACK.

NO.

I'M SORRY, KIMMY.

I'M SORRY, TOO, D.J.

NO...

I'M SORRY ABOUT
THE GIBBLER GAZETTE.

I'LL TEAR THEM ALL UP.

I HATED WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT ME,

BUT LOVED THE WAY YOU WROTE IT.

YOU'VE GOT REAL STYLE THERE.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE
OUR NEW GOSSIP COLUMNIST?

REALLY?

YOU WANT ME TO POKE MY NOSE
INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS

AND SPREAD WILD
RUMORS AROUND SCHOOL?

YOU DO IT ANYWAY. YOU
MIGHT AS WELL WRITE IT DOWN.

THIS IS GREAT!

WE CAN SPEND EVEN
MORE TIME TOGETHER.

STOP. YOU'RE KILLING ME.

STOP. YOU'RE KILLING ME.

HEY, KIMMY, WANNA PLAY SHADOW?

HEY, KIMMY, DO YOU
WANNA PLAY SHADOW?

NO, I HATE THAT GAME.

NO, I HATE THAT GAME.

I SAID NO.

I SAID NO.

I REALLY MEAN IT.

I REALLY MEAN IT.

STOP IT!

STOP IT!

STOP IT! STOP IT!

I'M GETTING ANNOYED.

I'M GETTING ANNOYED.

MICHELLE... MICHELLE...

I'M NOT JOKING. I'M NOT JOKING.

ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

STOP IT! STOP IT!

I'M SERIOUS. I'M SERIOUS.

STOP IT! STOP IT!

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.