Full House (1987–1995): Season 4, Episode 1 - Greek Week - full transcript

OK, GIRLS, NOW REMEMBER,

WHEN MY GRANDPARENTS
STEP OFF THE PLANE,

WE'RE GONNA SAY "WELCOME
TO AMERICA" IN GREEK.

OK, NOW, WHAT ARE
WE GOING TO SAY?

"WELCOME TO AMERICA IN GREEK."

ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE
GOT THAT OUT OF OUR SYSTEM,

LET'S TRY IT FOR REAL,
LIKE WE PRACTICED. READY?

VERY GOOD. COME ON, MICHELLE.

ARE YOU NUTS?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST PRACTICE
GIVING THEM A KISS, SHALL WE?

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.



♪ AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪

♪ THE MILKMAN, THE PAPER BOY ♪

♪ EVENING TV ♪

♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪

♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME PLEASE ♪

♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S ♪

♪ CONFUSIN' ME ♪

♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪

♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪

♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪



♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A HEART ♪

♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A FACE OF
SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ DO BE DO BA BA DA ♪♪

LET'S GO. WE'VE GOTTA
MEET THAT PLANE.

DANNY, JOEY, LET'S GO!

JESS, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE
THIS. I JUST CALLED THE AIRLINE.

YOUR GRANDPARENTS LANDED EARLY.

ALREADY? HOW COULD THEY LAND?

WELL, THE PLANE SLOWS DOWN,

THE WHEELS POP UP,
THE PILOT COMES ON,

"PLEASE EXTINGUISH
ALL SMOKING MATERIALS..."

I KNOW HOW A PLANE LANDS.

MY POOR GRANDPARENTS COME
OUT ALL THE WAY FROM GREECE

TO CELEBRATE THEIR 50th
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY,

AND THEY'RE PROBABLY WANDERING
AROUND THE AIRPORT LOST, SCARED, CONFUSED.

OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE HERE.

OK, EVERYBODY, GET READY.

VERY GOOD.

WHAT KIND OF...

THAT'S BETTER, BUT YOU
STILL OWE ME FOR TAXI.

MY BEAUTIFUL JESSE!

AW, YAYA GINA.

PAPULI IORGOS... HELP!

GINA... GINA... GINA!
SAVE SOME TEARS.

YOU GOT LOTS MORE
PEOPLE TO MEET.

MAY I PRESENT...

THE FATHER OF YOUR
GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN...

DANNY TANNER.

OH... OH, THIS IS NICE.

MY... IS YOUR... THANK
YOU VERY MUCH,

BUT WE BROUGHT
OUR OWN UNDERWEAR.

LET ME GET BACK TO
YOU ON THAT ONE, OK?

AND THESE ARE YOUR
GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN.

THIS IS D.J., STEPHANIE,
AND LITTLE MICHELLE.

OH...

WHO IS THIS MAN?

THAT'S JOEY. HE
LIVES IN THE GARAGE.

AND HE'S A COMEDIAN. JOEY,
SHOW THEM YOUR BULLWINKLE.

WELL, I SURE HOPE YOU
GET AMERICAN CARTOONS

BECAUSE, WELL, IF NOT,

I'M MAKING SOME
FIRST IMPRESSION.

WE HAVE FUNNY MAN LIKE
JOEY IN POMPADORAS...

NIKOS, THE VILLAGE IDIOT.

WE BRING YOU BIG
SURPRISE VISITORS.

GINA.

JESSE, YOUR COUSIN DMITRI,

HE MAKE YOU THE GODFATHER
OF HIS LITTLE GIRL MELINA.

HEY! THAT'S MY FACE.

THERE'S A SLIGHT
FAMILY RESEMBLANCE.

YOU DON'T SAY.

HI, MELINA.

MICHELLE, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE MELINA UP TO YOUR ROOM

AND SHOW HER WHERE
SHE'S GONNA BE STAYING, OK?

YOU GOT IT, DUDE.

COME ON, CHICKS.

YOU'RE VERY PRETTY.

DID YOU BRING ANYBODY
THAT LOOKS LIKE ME?

NO, BUT WE DID BRING
SYLVIO BANALAKIS.

SYLVIO!

HE'S ALWAYS DREAMED
OF COMING TO AMERICA.

I SEE YOUR PICTURE EVERY DAY

IN HOUSE OF YOUR
GREAT-GRANDFATHER.

YOU ARE EVEN MORE
BEAUTIFUL IN PERSON.

OOH, MYLANTA.

PAPULI, ARE WE RELATED?

NO.

YES!

SYLVIO, COME ON, I'LL
SHOW YOU MY ROOM.

STEPH, I'M SURE YOUR YAYA GINA

WOULD LOVE TO
SEE YOUR ROOM, TOO.

OK, DAD. WE'LL KEEP
AN EYE ON THEM.

GOOD GIRL. DON'T
EVER GROW UP, OK?

OK.

SYLVIO BANALAKIS.

PAPULI, DIDN'T HE
HAVE AN OLDER SISTER?

YES.

WHAT WAS HER NAME?

ELENA.

YEAH, ELENA. ELENA!

JESSE!

HAVE MERC...

HAVE MERCEDES
COME TO GREECE YET?

COME WITH ME. I WILL...
I'LL SHOW YOU MY...

YOU HAVE A VOLCANO
IN THE KITCHEN?

I TAKE IT THIS IS NOT
YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

NO, THIS IS LITTLE ELENA.

GOSH, I HAVEN'T SEEN
LITTLE ELENA SINCE I WAS 14

WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE.

LITTLE ELENA, THIS IS, UH...

BIG BECKY.

BIG BECKY.

THIS IS BIG BECKY.

YOUR GRANDFATHER TOLD
ME YOU WERE NOT MARRIED.

OH, NO. NO, WE'RE NOT MARRIED,

BUT BECKY'S MY... GIRLFRIEND!

GIRLFRIEND. BECKY'S
MY GIRLFRIEND.

AND I'M SURE THE THREE OF US

ARE GONNA HAVE A DARN
NIFTY TIME TOGETHER, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

I SEE IT, BUT I
DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THIS IS PINKY MY PIG.

HEY, TWINSTERS.

WHY DO WE LOOK THE SAME?

WELL, BECAUSE,
UH, YOU'RE COUSINS.

♪ IDENTICAL COUSINS,
AND YOU'LL FIND ♪

♪ THEY LAUGH ALIKE,
THEY WALK ALIKE ♪

♪ AT TIMES THEY
EVEN TALK ALIKE ♪

♪ YOU CAN LOSE YOUR MIND ♪

♪ WHEN COUSINS ♪

♪ ARE ♪

♪ TWO OF A K... ♪

♪ IND ♪♪

NIKOS.

NIKOS.

MORE MOUSSAKA, JESSE?

YEAH, PLEASE.

HEY, JESS. TAKE A BREAK, HUH?

YOU'VE BEEN EATING
FOR THREE HOURS.

DO YOU REMEMBER OUR PICNIC

ON THE TOP OF MOUNT POMPADORAS?

YEAH, I REMEMBER IT WAS RAINING

AND WE HAD TO HIDE
UNDER YOUR BLANKET

AND WE HAD THOSE
RED SEEDLESS GRAPES

AND YOU KEPT FEEDING
THEM TO ME ONE BY ONE...

HARDLY REMEMBER IT.

I'D BETTER CHECK ON
THE BAKLAVA. HONEY?

YES, DEAR?

I MEAN, DO YOU WANT
HONEY ON YOUR BAKLAVA?

OF COURSE I DO.

WHAT'S BAKLAVA WITHOUT HONEY?

RIGHT, HONEY?

JESS, HONEY...

THIS WOMAN DIDN'T
FLY 12,000 MILES

JUST TO STUFF YOUR
FACE FULL OF MOUSSAKA.

NOW, WHAT'S GOING
ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?

COME ON, BECKY. NOTHING.

YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.

NOTHING COULD COME BETWEEN US.

BAKLAVA.

CAREFUL. IT'S VERY HOT STUFF.

AH, STEPHANIE, YOU LEARN
THE ZORBA DANCE SO FAST.

THANKS, YAYA.

I'LL TEACH YOU AN
AMERICAN DANCE.

WANT TO VOGUE? STRIKE A POSE.

STEPH, WHAT HAVE
YOU DONE TO GRANDMA?

WE'RE VOGUE-ING.

STRIKE POSE.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN D.J.?

SHE'S AT THE MALL WITH SYLVIO.

SHE'S ALONE WITH SYLVIO?

NOT TO WORRY.
SYLVIO IS FINE BOY,

SO MUCH LIKE JESSE
WHEN HE WAS YOUNG.

OH, THAT'S VERY COMFORTING.

COMET, THIS IS D.J.'s SOCK.

PICK UP THE SCENT,
COMET. FIND D.J., FIND D.J.

DAD, THAT'S COMET, NOT LASSIE.

HOW'D YOU LIKE
YOUR FIRST SLURPEE?

WELL, I'VE NEVER SLURPED
WITH A GIRL BEFORE.

HOW DID I DO?

GREAT. YOU SLURPED
AT THE RIGHT SPEED.

I WAS VERY NERVOUS.

THE STARS ARE SO PRETTY.

THE PRETTIEST STARS...
ARE IN YOUR EYES.

SURE, COMET, WE CAN GO
FOR A WALK. COME ON, BOY.

COME HERE, COMET.
THAT'S A GOOD...

OH, LOOK, IT'S D.J. WELL,
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

DAD, WERE YOU SPYING ON ME?

TRUST ME, IF I WAS SPYING,

I WOULD'VE BEEN OUT HERE
WAY BEFORE ALL THAT STAR TALK.

MR. TANNER...

YOUR DAUGHTER IS THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD.

SHE'S OK.

YOU MUST BE INCREDIBLY
TIRED AFTER YOUR LONG FLIGHT.

WHY DON'T YOU COME ON INSIDE AND
I'LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR CAGE... UH, ROOM.

DANNY, HAVE YOU
SEEN MY DRESS SHIRT?

DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER?

IT'S IN THE HAMPER.

HERE IT IS.

I DID ALL OF YOUR
LAUNDRY THIS MORNING.

I JUST HAVE TO IRON IT.

OH, WELL, LET ME
DO THAT FOR JESSE.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL,
YOU'RE HERE ON VACATION.

BECKY, YOU KNOW...

I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY
SEEN YOU IRON.

ME? OH, I LIVE TO IRON.

I JUST HAVE TO GET ONE
OF THOSE IRONING TABLES.

SWEETHEART, THAT'S
IRONING BOARD.

SHUT UP.

DANNY, I TOOK THE GIRLS
SHOPPING. WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS.

OKAY, COME ON IN, GIRLS.

GO AHEAD. TRY AND
TELL THEM APART.

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS, DADDY.

WOW, THIS IS A TOUGH ONE.

BUT... I BET THE REAL MICHELLE

IS THE ONE WHO JUST
CALLED ME DADDY.

AW, NUTS.

AW, HOO.

BLESS YOU.

AND I THINK THAT
WOULD MAKE YOU MELINA.

YOU GOT IT, DUD.

I TOLD YOU, IT'S
"YOU GOT IT, DUDE."

DUDE...

MR. TANNER...

I'D LIKE TO TAKE A WALK
WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.

HEY, NO PROBLEM.

MICHELLE, TAKE A
WALK WITH SYLVIO.

I MEAN D.J.

I WANT TO WALK WITH HER

AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE.

YOU WANT TO WALK
AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE?

HEY, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

TAKE A SPIN AROUND THE
COUNTER IF YOU WANT.

THANKS, DAD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'LL BE OVER HERE
IF YOU NEED ME.

THIS IS REALLY SWEET.

AND TOTALLY WEIRD.

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS?

DIDN'T YOU AND I

WALK AROUND YOUR
TABLE IN POMPADORAS?

YES!

I WAS WAITING TO SEE
IF YOU REMEMBERED!

THAT'S WHY I CAME TO SEE YOU!

THAT'S IT.

GET YOUR POMPADORIAN
PAWS OFF MY BOYFRIEND.

BUT WE DID THE
TRADITIONAL WEDDING WALK.

JESSE IS MY HUSBAND.

AND NOW D.J. IS MY WIFE.

WHOA, BABY! WHOA, BABY!

MY D.J. IS MARRIED!

I COULD HAVE
GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN.

I CAN HAVE MY OWN ROOM!

WAIT A MINUTE.

D.J. AND SYLVIO ARE NOT MARRIED.

NEITHER ARE THEY.

ACCORDING TO
POMPADORAS TRADITION,

THEY ARE MARRIED.

YOU GIVE THE GIRL FLOWERS,

YOU WALK AROUND THE TABLE,

AND THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

THAT'S NOT A WEDDING,
THAT'S THE HOKEY-POKEY.

JESSE, SAY SOMETHING.

IT'S A VERY DELICATE SITUATION

HERE WITH MY FAMILY.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME
ASK YOU A QUESTION.

IS THIS THE KIND OF
WOMAN YOU WANT...

SOMEONE WHO LIVES
ONLY TO COOK FOR YOU,

AND CLEAN FOR YOU, AND
WAIT ON YOU HAND IN FOOT?

GOD, YOU MAKE IT
SOUND SO NEGATIVE.

FINE. SHE'S ALL YOURS.

I'LL SEND YOU A CARD
ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY.

THIS AUGUST WILL BE OUR 13th.

CONGRATULATIONS!

BECKY... YOU'RE IN
BIG TROUBLE, MISTER.

WHEN SHOULD I TELL
YOUR WIFE YOU'LL BE BACK?

LET'S MEET OUR FIRST
NEWLYWED COUPLE.

SHE'S IN THE EIGHTH GRADE,
HE'S IN THE OLIVE BUSINESS.

THEY'VE ONLY BEEN MARRIED
TWO AND A HALF MINUTES.

PLEASE WELCOME
SYLVIO AND D.J. BANALAKIS!

WHY DON'T I TAKE
THE LOVELY COUPLE

INTO THE LIVING ROOM

AND TELL THEM WHAT
THEY'VE WON, BOB?

A DINING SET

ESPECIALLY SELECTED
JUST FOR YOU.

I LOVE WEDDINGS.

D.J., WHY DON'T YOU
GO ON UP TO YOUR ROOM

AND WAIT FOR DADDY?

DADDY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,

YOU CAN'T SEND ME
TO MY ROOM ANYMORE.

I'M A MARRIED WOMAN.

YOU'RE NOT A MARRIED WOMAN.

PAPA... PLEASE
DON'T CALL ME THAT.

I'M READY TO LEARN
THE FAMILY BUSINESS.

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR JOB?

I HAVE A TALK SHOW.

WELL, I WILL STUDY HARD,

AND WHEN YOU DIE,
I WILL TAKE OVER.

I WILL NEVER DIE.

SYLVIO, WALK WITH
ME, TALK WITH ME.

WE HAVE TO GET OVER TO IORGOS'
AND GINA'S ANNIVERSARY PARTY,

BUT FIRST LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT
THIS THING WE HAVE IN AMERICA

CALLED A RESTRAINING ORDER.

HEY!

OH, THIS IS A PRETTY PICTURE.

I THOUGHT I SHOULD COME DOWN
HERE AND GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN,

BUT YOU'RE TOO BUSY
HUGGING YOUR WIFE.

HOW COULD YOU DO
THIS TO ME? BECKY, LIS...

NOW IT'S A GREEK PARTY!

BECKY... WHAT?

THIS WHOLE THING HAS
GOTTEN OUT OF HAND HERE.

NOW, THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU BOTH SHOULD HEAR.

ELENA, LISTEN, YOU'RE
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

WITH PASSION AND FIRE...

OH, I'M GLAD I STUCK
AROUND FOR THIS.

WAIT A MINUTE,
YOU'LL LIKE THIS PART.

THERE'S NO FUTURE FOR US

'CAUSE I'M MADLY
IN LOVE WITH BECKY.

BECKY, I'M MADLY
IN LOVE WITH YOU.

OH, JESSE...

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY I GOT SO JEALOUS.

JUST THE THOUGHT OF
LOSING YOU MADE ME CRAZY.

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA LOSE ME.

I'M SORRY, ELENA.

MAYBE I WAS CRAZY
TO HAVE COME HERE,

BUT I ALWAYS WONDERED
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

IF WE EVER SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN.

NOW I KNOW WE CAN
ONLY BE FRIENDS.

IT'S TOO BAD WE'RE
STILL MARRIED.

WELL WHAT DO YOU
KNOW, WE LOST THE GROUP.

IORGOS, AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE,

LET'S TALK DIVORCE.

DIVORCE? WHO WANTS A DIVORCE?

THEY DO. THEY DO.

WELL, YOU ARE IN LUCK.

SINCE NO FARM ANIMALS

ACTUALLY CHANGED HANDS,

A DIVORCE IS POSSIBLE.

DAD?

SYLVIO, I'M SORRY,

BUT I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.

AFTER ALL, YOU WERE
MY FIRST HUSBAND.

FOR ONE HOUR,

I WAS MARRIED TO THE
MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

IN THE WORLD.

AW, DAD, DO I HAVE TO?

OH, YEAH.

EVERYBODY WHO WANTS
A DIVORCE, FOLLOW ME.

NOW JOIN HANDS

AND WALK AROUND
THE TABLE BACKWARDS.

BIZARRE POMPADORIAN
TABLE CEREMONIES

ON THE NEXT GERALDO.

OK, I NOW PRONOUNCE
YOU MEN AND EX-WIVES.

WE CAME 12,000 MILES
TO GET DIVORCES.

WE SHOULD HAVE
GONE TO DISNEYLAND.

ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.

YOU KNOW, ALL THIS
TALKING ABOUT DIVORCE

MAKES ME REALIZE HOW LUCKY I AM

TO HAVE MY GINA FOR 50 YEARS.

AND TO THINK SHE DIDN'T
EVEN WANT TO MARRY ME.

YOU HAD A BEARD.

IT WAS LIKE KISSING A GOAT.

NO, I KISSED A GOAT ONCE.

IT WAS VERY DIFFERENT.

ANYWAY, I SHAVED,

AND I GOT 50 WONDERFUL
YEARS WITH MY GINA.

I LOVE YOU, GINA.

I LOVE YOU.

THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

THAT COULD BE YOU
AND I IN 50 YEARS.

I HOPE IT WILL BE.

IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON

THAT YOU REALLY LOVE

AND WANNA SPEND
YOUR WHOLE LIFE WITH,

MY FEELING IS, WHY WAIT?

OK.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

REALLY?

REALLY.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS TIME WE'RE
GONNA DO THIS RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, LAST TIME WE DID THIS,

YOU LEFT ME AT THE ALTAR.

WE WERE IN NEVADA.

YOU SAID, "LET'S GET
MARRIED THIS SECOND."

THIS TIME WE CAN TAKE OUR
TIME AND PLAN A REAL WEDDING.

BECKY... HOLD IT.

WHAT?

DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER WIVES

IN ANY OTHER COUNTRIES?

NO, NO.

OK.

YOU WERE SAYING?

WILL YOU WALK AROUND
THE TABLE WITH ME?

YES.

YES! WOO!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

REBECCA DONALDSON
AND JESSE KATSOPOLIS

ARE NOW ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED!

AGAIN?

YES, AGAIN.

YEAH! OOH!

OH, DID YOU HEAR THAT, GIRLS?

UNCLE JESSE AND REBECCA
ARE GONNA BE MARRIED.

LET'S CELEBRATE.

YOU GOT IT, DUDE.
YOU GOT IT, DUDE.

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.