Full House (1987–1995): Season 3, Episode 9 - Dr. Dare Rides Again - full transcript

Comet, the family's new dog, eats Michelle's ice cream. Pete is an old pal that Jesse once knew. He visits the family when Danny and Becky are away on a talk show styling trip. 'Feedback' and some of Jesse's old ways pop up.

Okay, girls, we have
to name our new puppy.

Michelle, do you have
a name for the puppy?

Yes. Michelle.

That's your name.

I like my name.

Mr. Bear and I have the
perfect name, Mr. Dog.

Mr. Dog?

Steph, when you
have a kid someday,

what're you gonna
name it, Mr. Baby?

Not if it's a girl.

I think we should name the puppy



something that
fits its personality.

Like... Puddles.

Dad, I have the
perfect name, Comet.

Because he's fast,
and he's got a tail.

And he only hits the
newspaper once every 76 years.

Comet.

I can live with that.

I like "Michelle."

[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪

♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪

♪ Evenin' TV? ♪



♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪

♪ A hand to hold on to ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a face ♪

♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪

♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪

Oh, what is taking
your dad so long?

Danny, come on!

We're gonna miss
our plane to L.A.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Guys, don't forget to
watch our show tomorrow.

Not only are we live
from Fashion Expo '9O,

but Danny and I are gonna
get total fashion makeovers.

That's right.

I'm leaving as Danny Tanner,

but I'll be returning
as... Danny Style.

Dad, while you're gone, can
Comet sleep with me in my bed?

No, Honey. Comet
sleeps in the kitchen.

And I don't want to hear
about you sleeping in his box.

Good night. Night.

Bye. Bye, Dad.

Have fun. You too.

See you. Bye.

Fly safe.

Okay, now it's time
for my extra sloppy,

"Can't help but make a mess,

but it's okay 'cause
Danny's out of town"

ice cream sundaes!

GIRLS: Yeah! All right!

Comet wants a sundae too.

Steph, Comet's a dog.

If he wants a sundae,

tell him to go chase
the Good Humor man.

Okay, Michelle. Here you go.

And, Deej, knock yourself out.

Thank you.

Michelle, look, Pee-wee Herman!

Where's Pee-wee Herman?

JOEY: Hey, Steph,
what are you doing?

Hey, a doggy ate my ice cream.

All right, all right.

Here, here. I'll take the dog.

Come on.

Bad doggy.

Michelle, don't have a cow.

Bad doggy.

Here, trade with D.J.

I don't want a dish
of doggie drool.

[DOORBELL RINGS] I'll get it.

Uncle Jesse?

Yes, may I help you?

Doggy ate my ice cream.

The doggy at your ice cream?

Come here, I'll cheer you up.

Come on, let's cheer
Michelle up, shall we?

Okay, you wanna sing?

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

All right, where is he?

All right, where is who?

The Jessman!

The Big J, the Jester himself!

Where is he, man? I haven't
seen him in three years.

He's in the kitchen
with the girls.

Girls? Yeah?

All right, it's the
same ol' Jess.

I mean it's like he
knew I was comin' here.

♪ The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell ♪

♪ Hi-ho, the merry-o
The farmer in the dell ♪

♪ The cheese sleeps alone
The cheese sleeps alone ♪

♪ Hi-ho... ♪

Yo!

Mother Goose.

Pete Bianco, you dirtbag!

You filth ball!

You scum bucket.

You lowlife.

Give me a hug!

[BOTH LAUGH]

How you doing?
Good, how're you doing?

You were supposed to call me
when you got back from Europe.

That's what I'm doing.
I just got back, man.

What a trip.

I learned how to
say, "Trust me, babe,"

in 12 different languages.

Well, you look great, man.

You too, man.

That's a very festive apron

we're wearing today, isn't it?

This guy is always on my case.

Remember the first time we met?

We got in this huge
fight over these two girls...

Right, uh, the Scarcella
twins, That's right!

Donna and Barbara. That's right.

We're beatin' each other's
heads up against the locker.

We finally realized,
this is stupid.

BOTH: There's two of 'em.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Anyway, Pete Bianco,
this is my niece D.J.,

Stephanie and Michelle.

Hello.

The doggy ate my ice cream.

And this is my pal,

and my partner in the
advertising business,

Joseph Gladstone.

Hey, Pete and I go all the
way back to the living room.

I just heard something.
You're in advertising now, Jess?

What, you're turning
into a suit on me?

Huh? What happened
to the old Dr. Dare

I used to know and love?

Who's Dr. Dare?

Who's Dr. Dare?

This guy right here. Your
uncle was a wild man.

This guy never, ever
turned down a dare.

Am I right? That's right.

You're looking soft.

Get out.

You still think you
can keep up with me?

Please, it's a piece of cake.

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah.

I dare you to keep up
with me for two days.

You got it, chief.

Let's jump on our bikes,
and tear this town apart.

I'll show you what
Dr. Dare's about. You got it.

Whoo! Dr. Dare rides again!

But not in this apron.

JESSE & PETE: ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I said Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ I said we gotta go ♪

Shh. The kids are sleeping.

[WHISPERING] ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I said Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I said we gotta go ♪

What's going on out there?

I don't know. Let's go find out.

Comet, you stay here
and keep my pillow warm...

and dry.

♪ I, I don't know the words ♪

♪ Nobody does, so let's
Go back to the chorus ♪

♪ I said Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Oh, baby. I said we gotta go ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I said, Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I said we gotta go ♪

Chorus.

♪ I said Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I said we gotta go ♪

♪ I said Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I said we gotta go ♪

Hey, guys, come on,

you're gonna wake up the girls.

No, you got 'em all.

Joey, I'm glad you're here.

Listen, I need a big favor.

Pete and I are driving up
to Lake Tahoe on our bikes.

This feels just like
the old days, man.

What you gotta do is
cover for me. Thanks, Joey.

Yeah, thanks, Joey.
And don't worry.

We'll be back here in
time for the party, okay?

Oh, wait a second.

What party?

It's a big reunion.

We got the whole
band back together.

And you're all invited because...
Well, because you live here.

Bye.

All right! Party!

You two, back to bed. Let's go.

D.J.: Oh! How mean.

But tomorrow night, party!

Party!

Okay, Michelle,
let's get you into...

Well... who is this?

Bad doggy.

Michelle, why are
you mad at Comet?

The doggy ate my ice cream.

Remember?

Well, come here, Comet.

[IMITATING SCOOBY-DOO] Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh.

[NORMAL VOICE]
Comet says he's very sorry.

And, oh! Look,
his tail's wagging.

That means he loves
you very, very much.

Okay. We're friends.

Tell 'em about that story
about... Where was it?

Baja.

Baja. Tell 'em about that story.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

We took over
this little cantina,

and we did a mariachi version of

"Love Stinks." And it stunk.

Oh, wait, afterwards, we
met all those señoritas...

So then what happened?

Well, so then we... We...

We took the nice
señoritas to a... museum,

and we taught 'em all about
the history of El Pollo Loco.

Yeah, we had some
wild times. That's right.

We have wild times too.

Last month, Uncle Jesse

organized my class
trip to the dairy.

Whoa! Life in the
fast lane, huh?

Hi, I'm Joey Gladstone.

I'm Jesse's partner.

Hi, I'm Donna,
Jesse's old girlfriend.

He looks great
tonight, doesn't he?

Yeah, I was just thinking
the same thing myself.

Hi, Pete.

Hi, Michelle.

Isn't it past your bedtime?

I don't know.

I can't tell time.

We're all set,
guys. Let's do it.

Right, right. All right,
now. Listen up, everybody.

I know that we said we'd, uh...
We'd never play together again,

but I figure if the Who and the
Stones can get back together,

so can Feedback.

That's right.

So let's hit it!

[CHEERING]

Feedback lives! Ow!

[PLAYING LIVELY ROCK INTRO]

♪ You know you make
me wanna Shout ♪

♪ Kick my heels up and Shout ♪

♪ Throw my hands up and shout ♪

♪ Throw my head back and shout ♪

♪ Come on now Shout ♪

♪ Don't forget to say you will ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ Don't forget to
say hey Shout ♪

♪ I still remember ♪

♪ When you used
to be Nine years old ♪

♪ Shoo-bee-doo-wop Bop, bop ♪

♪ Well, I was a fool for you ♪

♪ From the bottom of my soul ♪

♪ Shoo-bee-doo-wop, doo-wop ♪

♪ You make me wanna shout ♪

♪ Kick my heels up and shout ♪

♪ Throw my hands up and shout ♪

♪ Throw my head back and shout ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ Don't forget to say you will ♪

♪ Don't forget to say hey ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ A little bit Softer now ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ A little bit Softer now ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ A little bit Softer now ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ A little bit
Softer now, yeah ♪

Alligator!

[CHEERING]

D.J., did you ever see
anyone do this before?

Once.

When a bee flew
into dad's shorts.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Shout, shout, shout, shout ♪

♪ Shout, shout, shout, shout ♪

♪ Shout, shout, shout, shout ♪

♪ Shout, shout, shout, shout ♪

♪ Shout, shout, shout, shout ♪

♪ Shout, shout,
shout, shout Shout! ♪

Party, dude!

♪ Well, I got a woman
Mean as she can be ♪

♪ I got a woman
Mean as she can be ♪

♪ Well, sometimes I think
She's almost as mean as me ♪

♪ I got a woman
Mean as she can be ♪

[MUSIC STOPS]

Oh, and, boy, does
she look mean.

Everybody, I'd like you to meet

the love of my life,
Rebecca Donaldson.

And quite frankly, doesn't
she look beautiful this evening?

Who's the blond?

Well... this is my
old girlfriend, Donna.

My old, old, old, old,
old, old, old girlfriend.

Hi, Becky.

Hello, Donna.

Why don't we go meet some
people I haven't dated, shall we?

Danny, is that really you?

Yes, Joey.

And I would be really
steamed if I did not look...

so cool.

[ITALIAN ACCENT] Well,
may I say that you look just like

cappuccino come
alive. Mmm, mwah!

[ITALIAN ACCENT] Oh,
thank you, Joey, Joey, Joey.

But look around at these people.

They have no sense of style.

Jesse, can I talk to you?

Look, I have
everything under control.

You look very cute, by the way.

Girls, it's time to go to bed.

ALL: Awww!

Jess, I'll say good
night to the girls and...

you say good night to Donna.

Okay, Michelle. Time for bed.

No more party?

No more party.

Aw, nuts.

Well, girls,

what do you think of
your new rad, bad dad?

Daddy, you look so handsome,

I wanna take you
to show and tell.

Oh, thank you, Stephanie.

That dog slept in your
room last night, didn't he?

"Twist and Shout,"
what do you say?

Tony, let's go. Kick it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Fellas. C'mon, c'mon.
Cool it, cool it now.

The little munchkins
have to go nightie-night.

The kids are going beddie-bye.

Beddie-bye.

Well, you definitely
have changed, Jess.

You've gone from...

From Dr. Dare to Dr. Seuss.

What, ah, you don't
think I'm the same guy?

Rog, Rog, give me
that tape. What tape?

Everybody have a seat on
the couch over here, all right?

I got a surprise for you.

MAN: This is My Life or
something? What are we doing?

PETE: All right.

This is for you, my man.

All right, now the
year... The year is 1983.

The song on the
jukebox is "Maniac."

And the man on the motorcycle

is the one, the only, Dr. Dare.

[APPLAUSE & CHEERING]

We're here on the roof
of the State Street garage

where Dr. Dare has been
dared to do the impossible.

To ride his motorcycle

on the ledge of a
six-story building.

[VIEWERS CHEER]

The doctor is about to operate.

Aren't you a little
over-dramatic there?

Not if you die.

Hey, look. I was dared.

So I'm gonna do it.

Not without a
kiss for luck, first.

Have mercy.

Oh, no, don't waste tape
on this. This is disgusting.

Please? Please don't waste
tape on this. Thank you, Roger.

All right! All right.

Let's do it!

[GIRLS CHEERING]

Look out.

[VIEWERS CHEER]

Wait. Wait a minute, wait.

Come here. Roger, come on.

Don't go yet.

All right, Rog, get
a shot of the drop.

Gettin' it, Rog?

VIEWERS: Whoa!

Do me a favor, Jess. Don't fall.

Don't worry about it.

All right. Come here, I
wanna say one more thing.

Kids, don't try this at home.

Let's do it!

All right, wait, wait. No, no.

We're not ready yet.
Hang on. Come here, Rog.

Have mercy!

[CHEERING & APPLAUSE] Thank you!

Thank you very much.

Woo-hoo!

All right, now, wait a minute.

Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

You guys think he
was tough back then?

You gotta see Dr. Seuss now

carpooling second
graders to the dairy.

[LAUGHING]

What, you think I couldn't

take that ledge
again if I wanted to?

What, are you kiddin' me?

No way! Nah. Nope.

No way.

Follow me.

MAN: Where is he going?

[ALL MURMURING]

Hey. Hey, Jessie.

Jessie! Hang on a second!

Jess, get back here.

This is stupid!

Joey, what's happening?

Come on, we gotta go! Where?

I'll tell you on the way.

Come on.

What?!

Are you nuts?

Look, I was just
kiddin' back there

about all that Dr. Seuss stuff.

Nobody dared you to do this.

I dared me to do this.

Well, I'm daring
you not to do it.

Look, Jesse, I just
came back here,

to see my best
friend and hang out

like we used to in the old days.

But it's not like the old
days, man. But so what?

That's easy for you to say.

Pete, you're living your life

the exact same way
we said we would, man.

You got no responsibilities.

You jump on your
bike when you want to,

you go wherever you want to.

So come with me. Come on.

Maybe I will. Come on.

But first, I gotta do this, man.

Because I gotta prove to
myself that I'm the same guy.

All right, look. You want to
do something dangerous?

Kiss Donna in front of Becky.

Aw, come on. What's the
worst that could happen?

Don't answer that.

[CAR HORN HONKS] BECKY: Jesse!

Jesse! Just hold on
one second, young man.

Jesse Katsopolis, I
forbid you to do this!

Now let's get in the
car and go home.

Becky, I know what I'm doing.

Come on, you're being an idiot.

Get off the bike.

There's no way either of
you could understand this.

[STARTS MOTOR]

Jesse!

Would you get back here?

[♪♪♪]

[WIND WHISTLING]

REBECCA: Jesse!

Jesse, please don't do this!

[STOPS MOTOR]

BECKY: Jess... Oh!

I'm so happy you're all right!

Don't you ever scare
me like that again!

Get in that car and get
home right now, mister.

Joey!

Everyone else did it.

Go!

Good seeing you, Jess.

It's good seeing you, man.

I gotta hit the road.

I gotta hit the sack.

Gotta get up early to tomorrow

and take Stephanie's
class to the fire station.

You know, livin' on
the edge, aren't I?

Look... Ahem.

As far as tonight goes,
you didn't chicken out.

You just, uh...
came to your senses.

Dr. Sensible.

Doesn't quite have
the same ring, does it?

Hey, Jessie, maybe the guy
I came back here lookin' for

is not the same guy anymore.

But so what?

I like this guy too, you know?

I'll tell you something else.

You got a good thing goin' here.

I do, don't I?

I love you, man.

Right back at you.

See you, dirt bucket.

See you, filth ball.

[MOTORCYCLE VROOMS]

Hi, Uncle Jesse.

Hey, Deej.

Joey told me what
happened tonight.

I'm glad you
didn't try that stunt.

D.J., I was this close.

I'm up on that ledge,
I'm this close to doin' it,

and I chicken out.

Uncle Jesse...

sometimes it takes more
courage to just say no.

Sounds pretty smart.
Where'd you hear that from?

From you.

And Nancy Reagan.

Well, Deej...

maybe I'm smarter
than I was when I was 20,

but let me tell you
something, kid,

I miss those old days.

I kinda remember you at 20.

You were this cool
guy with long hair

who'd drop by, give me a present

and then ride away.

I like this Uncle
Jesse a lot better.

The one I see every day.

Really?

Yeah.

I'll tell you something.

When I was up there,
all I could do was

think about my family
and Becky and you girls.

I started thinking, if
something happened to me,

I'd miss out on being
part of your lives.

And there's nothing more
important to me than that.

I don't know. Maybe
I gave up a little bit,

but... I've also gained
quite a bit too, haven't I?

Yep.

Good night, Dr. Dare.

Hey, that's Uncle
Dr. Dare to you.

[GIGGLES]

Good night.

[PLAYS WILD ROCK RIFF]

I still got it.

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

[♪♪♪]