Full House (1987–1995): Season 3, Episode 19 - Those Better Not Be the Days - full transcript
It's not Friday, but things sure get freaky when the men and girls switch roles for a day.
All right, babe, it's time to
put on your munchkin shoes.
All right, give
me your left foot.
No, no, that's your right foot.
Actually, maybe this is
a good time to teach you
left from right,
okay? I'm not busy.
Watch and learn.
This is my left hand:
Left.
Wrong, that's right.
What's right?
Well, when I'm facing
you, my left is your right.
I'm right?
No, you're wrong.
That's right.
That's right? No, this is le...
Well, actually, you
see, my left is your right,
and your left is my right.
You're nuts.
She left.
You're right. Hey, you!
[JESSIE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[GROWLING]
Hey, 'tato chips, come
out. I want to eat you!
Michelle, are you
eating our goodies?
I'm trying.
Those are for the ride
to the amusement park.
Aw, nuts. [CAR HORN HONKS]
That's Kimmy's mom.
Dad, hurry up! I
need my sweater.
Okay. It's ready,
and it is perfect.
It has been hand-washed,
presoaked and flat-dried
according to
manufacturer's specifications.
Great.
I guess you won't be
needing this garment bag, huh.
Joey, where's the camera?
Right here. I went to the store,
I got you some extra batteries,
some extra film, lens tissue.
And I attached the
handy travel strap.
On second thought, I don't
want to lug all that stuff around.
I'll just buy some postcards.
Well, in that case,
how about just a picture
of a guy who just
wasted 20 minutes:
I mapped out the
whole park for you.
The best foods, the best ride,
and the best order to minimize
the wait and maximize the fun.
That's okay, Uncle
Jesse. We don't need it.
Why?
Well, all we're gonna be doing
is riding Screaming Thunder
over and over all day long.
Yeah, first you go
up about ten miles,
then you turn upside down
and fall about a
million miles an hour.
And the whole time you're going:
[BOTH SCREAMING]
That's okay, I had fun
making this anyway.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
Bye, I'll see you guys
later. Bye, everyone.
Wait a minute, girls.
Aren't you forgetting something?
BOTH: Money!
What's a hug compared to
the joy of emptying one's wallet?
JESSE: All right, Michelle,
here's a little tip for you.
Now, eat your corn dog,
your taco and your ice cream
after you go on
the throw-up rides.
You got it, dude.
Bye, Dad. All right,
I'll see you later.
Have a lot of fun.
Hey, honey. We're
all set for our picnic.
JESSE: Yeah.
You kids have a great time.
Thank you, Dad. Ha-ha, we will.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING OVER TV]
All right, let's watch
some basketball. Yes!
It's raining!
It's times like these I
wish I had a big sister.
Hi, Tanners.
Here's your paper.
Guess what.
I mouthed off to my mom,
and she grounded me.
Why aren't you home?
Because she grounded me here.
BOTH: No!
Yes.
She said if I stay
home with her,
she'll just be
punishing herself.
Jess, what do you say we
move this picnic to my place.
What do I say? What
do I have to say?
Have mercy.
I have a better idea.
Let's have the
picnic in my room.
Come on, Dad, you're gonna
take me and Kimmy to the movies.
Let's play hide-and-seek.
Sure, I had nothing else planned
today. Sure, hide-and-seek.
D.J.: Dad, we're late.
Now we missed the show.
DANNY: Oh, come on.
Nice going, Mr. T.
Don't call me Mr. T.
Kimmy, it is not my fault
the movie was sold out.
Well, Dad, you have to admit,
you did drive a little
on the slow side.
My grandmother
goes faster than you.
Without a car.
What a great picnic!
Oh, yeah, for you.
You ate all the caviar.
Who knew stinky little fish
eggs could be so delicious?
Glad you enjoyed it, Steph.
Danny, you owe me $200.
I gotta get going.
See you later, Becky.
Bye, Danny.
Bye, honey. Bye-bye.
JOEY [MUFFLED]:
Bye, Becky. Bye, Joey.
Joey?
Joseph, what are
you doing in there?
Playing hide-and-seek
with Michelle.
I found you.
Thanks a lot, Jess.
Hey, guys, good news.
The new ice skating
rink just opened today.
You guys can take us.
You don't have to wait
in the parking lot, though.
You can come in and watch us.
Let's go get our skates.
Wait for me, I got little legs.
When did we agree to
take them ice skating?
They don't even ask anymore.
They just assume that
their wish is our command.
And the worst part
is I don't remember
getting one thank
you today, do you?
Well, let's see...
"Gimme," "Get me," "Take me,"
"Make me," "Buy me, "Drive me,"
"Find me." Nope, no "thank you."
Those girls are
so unappreciative.
I cook, I clean, I iron...
I'm starting to sound
like my mother.
I say we give them a
taste of their own medicine.
Okay, boys, let's ride.
Girls, new plan. Come over here.
We're gonna stay home, and
we are gonna play a new game
called "We're the Kids,
and You're the Adults,"
so you get to be in charge.
We're the adults?
You mean, we can
do what ever we want?
Yep.
All right! Yes!
There's gotta be a catch.
There better be a catch.
Danny, lay a catch on 'em.
Yes, there is a catch.
The catch is you
girls have to assume
all the responsibilities that
come with being a parent.
Okay, let's catch the end
of that basketball game.
Yeah! Not so fast.
Let's see if this works.
No watching TV until
your rooms are clean.
What? [SIGHS]
I guess that means I can watch.
I'm ready to ouce skate.
Forget it. We're not
going "ouce" skating.
Make up your minds.
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
Party time!
All right! Yeah!
Let's watch The Top
Ten Video Countdown.
All right! I love
being grounded here.
I want my ouce cream.
You want your ice cream.
That's what I said.
Don't you listen?
Okay, on your
mark, get set, pig out!
Yeah. All right!
Girls, lunchtime.
No, thanks, we
skipped right to dessert.
No, I mean, lunch for us kids.
Remember, the people
you're responsible for?
The catch.
Come on, I cleaned
my room and everything.
Okay, we'll make lunch,
but you kids have
to set the table.
I'm gonna get out of here
before they put me to work.
Don't touch my ouce cream!
All right, peanut butter
and jelly on wheat.
Ham and cheese on rye.
And egg salad
on white, no crust.
Now, if you guys will excuse us,
we might still catch
some of the top ten videos.
Hurry, you're
missing number five.
We're coming. Let's go.
Hey, ho-ho-ho-hold it!
This is grape jelly.
You guys know I
like strawberry jelly.
How could that have
slipped my mind?
One peanut butter and
strawberry jelly coming up.
Bye.
Oh, Steph, before you
go, can I have some juice?
Juice? Of course.
Where is my head?
Glass.
Hey, that sounds
like a great idea.
Why don't you
make that two. Okay.
Anybody else want juice?
No.
Make mine milk.
[ANGRILY] Okay.
All right, peanut butter
and strawberry jelly.
All right, P.B.S.J.
Got 'em.
Uh, Steph, I
wanted orange juice.
[GROANS]
I'll take apple.
Apple for the big guy.
I will see you in
the living room.
Hey, ho-ho-ho-hold it.
You still got some grape
on one of these corners.
Then don't eat that corner.
Yes, but once the
sandwich is closed,
it's hard to tell which is
the grape-infested corner.
There. Now you're safe.
Banilli Banilli is next.
Rock 'n' roll!
I'm coming.
Uh, girls, before we
drink, we need ice.
Ice?
Ice it is!
Uh, make mine
cubes, not crushed.
Make mine crushed, not cube.
Would anyone like them
carved like little animals?
Hey, this is chunky
peanut butter.
Yeah, so?
Well, I'm just not in a
chunky kind of mood.
Well, I'm not making
you another sandwich.
I'm not asking you to.
What I am asking you to do
is, you can take these itsy-bitsy,
ugly little chunks of
peanuts out of my sandwich.
That's it! Lunch is over.
Could you make this
half-crushed, half-cubed?
I've had it. Go to your rooms!
Right now! March!
Great game, Danny.
Now we're being punished.
And no talking! Come on.
Yeah, go to your rooms, guys.
Go, boys. Go.
Talk about your
selfish, spoiled brats.
All I have to say is, how rude.
Joey, we need to talk.
You guys snuck down here.
Man, the girls grounded us.
We're all gonna
get in big trouble.
It's a game, you idiot!
How did my plan backfire?
We took them totally for
granted just like they did to us,
and they never even
made the connection.
Well, if we don't put a
stop to this right now,
we're gonna be waiting
on them hand and foot
for the rest of our lives.
For the rest of our lives?
Oh, man, I can see it now.
We're still living in the house.
The girls are still
living in the house.
That dog, Comet, is
still living in the house.
This is not a pretty picture.
Stay, Comet.
Play dead.
You are just
playing, aren't you?
All right, come on, Dusty.
Let's see if you still
got any suck left in you.
[TURNS VACUUM ON] Whoa!
All right, boy.
O-kay-kay-kay-kay-kay.
Well, blow me down.
Where's me Olive Oyl?
Oh, you dirt-obsessed old
fool, you sucked up my chip.
I knew you were gonna drop it.
Do I look like I've
dropped any chips?
They're all in there,
millions of 'em.
Hey!
What are you guys
muttering about?
Every time I come
around, you're muttering.
You're muttering to him,
he's muttering to. You guys...
Oh, it's a beautiful day.
I remember when I ate a
burrito in 1994 in a muffler shack.
We're muttering?
We're muttering?!
You're muttering.
You think you're
such a hot young stud.
You in your jungle jammies.
Well, at least I
still have my hair.
[GASPS]
Now I have your hair.
[LAUGHING]
[DOOR KNOCKING]
Hold it, that's my date!
Put my hair back! Okay, hold on.
Slow, slow! Okay.
How does it look?
Oh, very lifelike.
DANNY: Help me
with the food, Joey.
Oh, Jesse!
My main squeeze.
I wouldn't squeeze
me too hard. I just ate.
Thanks for the warning.
Hey, Becky, look out for
that hippopotamus behind you.
Oh, sorry.
You know, you really
oughta put some reflectors
on that thing.
[CHUCKLING]
Have...
A nice bowl of Cream
of Wheat? JESSE: No!
It has nothing to
do with breakfast.
Have... "Mercy," you old poop!
No, no, no, no, no.
It's... It's, "Have pity."
Come on, babe, let's go
down to the Smash Club,
and you can watch
me do my thang.
I'm so proud of you.
My honey is the world's
oldest Elvis impersonator.
[IMITATING ELVIS] Thank
you very much, pretty mama.
Watch me shake: [GIGGLES]
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Joey, did you leave
me some doughnuts?
Well, if I did, it was
purely by accident.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey,
don't look at my woman.
Where am I supposed to look?
Your woman is everywhere.
[CHUCKLES]
Come on, let's take
the girls their breakfast.
Okay, but try not to eat
it all on the way up, Joey.
[CHUCKLES] You fat guy.
Stop muttering. Stop muttering.
Well, guess I'll
just have a seat.
Hmm, better make that two.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Drop that toast.
Ah, get off my case.
I found it in my robe.
You're a slob, Joey.
You're a tall slob.
Okay! Rise and shine!
Come on, get up, D.J.
Breakfast before noon?
How rude!
I'm so disgusted with
hearing, "How rude."
Dad, I can't take it anymore.
I need my own room.
This town is full of rooms.
Go rent one, the both of you.
Why would I leave?
Uncle Jesse does my
cooking, Joey does my laundry,
and, Dad, you do my cleaning.
I love my life.
Your perkiness
is no longer cute.
Danny, I think it's time
for the "One Day You'll
Appreciate Your Sister" lecture.
Girls, one day you'll
appreciate your sister.
Good lecture. Thank you.
Now hug.
ALL: Aw.
ALL: Now move out!
Michelle! Michelle, hurry up
and get in here and
get your breakfast
before it becomes
another chin for Joey.
Hi, people.
Ah, Michelle, just
in time for breakfast.
I'm not in the
mood for breakfast.
Do you have any ouce cream?
ALL: It's "ice cream."
And I ate the last
gallon this morning.
Aw, nuts.
Hi, Tanners. Kimmy
Gibbler! Oh, my God!
BOTH: Whoa, baby!
Eat your hearts out, boys.
Too bad you weren't nicer
to me when I was a kid.
[BOTH GASPING]
Come on, girls. We
gotta get to the mall.
Adios, Tanners.
I'll get Dad's credit cards.
I'll go make a list of
chores for the guys to do
while we're gone.
And don't forget
we'll need a ride.
Whoever can make it
downstairs first will drive you.
You got it, dude.
She was so smart
when she was three.
What happened?
Well, did you hear
one "thank you" today?
BOTH: No.
How could you let your
kids get so out of control?
Well, you can't blame me.
I'm just the old fat guy
who lives in the basement.
Our lives are pathetic.
No, your hair is pathetic.
[CHUCKLING] No, no!
Hey, Joey, catch the rug!
Come on, now, boys.
I'm in the clear. Over here.
Don't do it. No, Joey.
Joey! Hey, I got it.
Joey, one more time.
Joey! It's not funny.
[CHEERING]
Give me my hair!
Get away from me.
Give me my hair!
Get away from me.
My arm... Oh, my arm!
[ALL YELLING]
I hid it, for crying out loud.
And we all lived
miserably ever after.
That was so depressing.
Yeah, can you imagine
the girls still living here?
No, not that. My hair.
Well, it doesn't have
to happen that way.
We can all learn something
from that little story.
Yeah, I'm gonna start being
really nice to Kimmy Gibbler.
Uncle Jesse, Daddy,
I thought we sent
you two to your rooms.
They snuck down
without permission.
Kiss-up.
I think it's time
we had a little
talk with you boys.
Great, first we're
getting punished,
now we're getting a lecture.
You deserve a lecture after
the way you behaved today.
We try and make
you a nice lunch,
and what do we get?
Zippo.
Not a thank you. Not a thanks.
Not a "Hey, pal, good goin'."
Not a "Way to go, chum."
Not a "Muchas gracias, amigo."
Not... Steph, they get it.
Well, girls, let me
ask you something.
How does it feel not
to get a thank you?
Crummy.
Well, just imagine how much
crummier you would have felt
if you had to wash our sweaters.
Rush out for our film.
Shared your caviar picnic.
Dropped everything to
take us to the movies.
Excuse us.
Did you happen
to say a thank you
for any of the things
they did for us today?
No, did you?
No.
So this game was
to teach us a lesson.
And you know what,
we needed one.
I think we owe 'em a
couple thousand thank you's.
We really blew it today.
You guys do so much,
and you're so wonderful,
and sometimes we just
expect you to be wonderful,
and we forget to tell you
how much we appreciate
how wonderful you are.
What we're trying to say is,
you guys are really wonderful.
And I just want
to say, thank you.
Thanks.
Hey, pal, good goin'.
Way to go, chum.
Muchas gracias, amigo.
Steph, just hug 'em.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
put on your munchkin shoes.
All right, give
me your left foot.
No, no, that's your right foot.
Actually, maybe this is
a good time to teach you
left from right,
okay? I'm not busy.
Watch and learn.
This is my left hand:
Left.
Wrong, that's right.
What's right?
Well, when I'm facing
you, my left is your right.
I'm right?
No, you're wrong.
That's right.
That's right? No, this is le...
Well, actually, you
see, my left is your right,
and your left is my right.
You're nuts.
She left.
You're right. Hey, you!
[JESSIE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[GROWLING]
Hey, 'tato chips, come
out. I want to eat you!
Michelle, are you
eating our goodies?
I'm trying.
Those are for the ride
to the amusement park.
Aw, nuts. [CAR HORN HONKS]
That's Kimmy's mom.
Dad, hurry up! I
need my sweater.
Okay. It's ready,
and it is perfect.
It has been hand-washed,
presoaked and flat-dried
according to
manufacturer's specifications.
Great.
I guess you won't be
needing this garment bag, huh.
Joey, where's the camera?
Right here. I went to the store,
I got you some extra batteries,
some extra film, lens tissue.
And I attached the
handy travel strap.
On second thought, I don't
want to lug all that stuff around.
I'll just buy some postcards.
Well, in that case,
how about just a picture
of a guy who just
wasted 20 minutes:
I mapped out the
whole park for you.
The best foods, the best ride,
and the best order to minimize
the wait and maximize the fun.
That's okay, Uncle
Jesse. We don't need it.
Why?
Well, all we're gonna be doing
is riding Screaming Thunder
over and over all day long.
Yeah, first you go
up about ten miles,
then you turn upside down
and fall about a
million miles an hour.
And the whole time you're going:
[BOTH SCREAMING]
That's okay, I had fun
making this anyway.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
Bye, I'll see you guys
later. Bye, everyone.
Wait a minute, girls.
Aren't you forgetting something?
BOTH: Money!
What's a hug compared to
the joy of emptying one's wallet?
JESSE: All right, Michelle,
here's a little tip for you.
Now, eat your corn dog,
your taco and your ice cream
after you go on
the throw-up rides.
You got it, dude.
Bye, Dad. All right,
I'll see you later.
Have a lot of fun.
Hey, honey. We're
all set for our picnic.
JESSE: Yeah.
You kids have a great time.
Thank you, Dad. Ha-ha, we will.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING OVER TV]
All right, let's watch
some basketball. Yes!
It's raining!
It's times like these I
wish I had a big sister.
Hi, Tanners.
Here's your paper.
Guess what.
I mouthed off to my mom,
and she grounded me.
Why aren't you home?
Because she grounded me here.
BOTH: No!
Yes.
She said if I stay
home with her,
she'll just be
punishing herself.
Jess, what do you say we
move this picnic to my place.
What do I say? What
do I have to say?
Have mercy.
I have a better idea.
Let's have the
picnic in my room.
Come on, Dad, you're gonna
take me and Kimmy to the movies.
Let's play hide-and-seek.
Sure, I had nothing else planned
today. Sure, hide-and-seek.
D.J.: Dad, we're late.
Now we missed the show.
DANNY: Oh, come on.
Nice going, Mr. T.
Don't call me Mr. T.
Kimmy, it is not my fault
the movie was sold out.
Well, Dad, you have to admit,
you did drive a little
on the slow side.
My grandmother
goes faster than you.
Without a car.
What a great picnic!
Oh, yeah, for you.
You ate all the caviar.
Who knew stinky little fish
eggs could be so delicious?
Glad you enjoyed it, Steph.
Danny, you owe me $200.
I gotta get going.
See you later, Becky.
Bye, Danny.
Bye, honey. Bye-bye.
JOEY [MUFFLED]:
Bye, Becky. Bye, Joey.
Joey?
Joseph, what are
you doing in there?
Playing hide-and-seek
with Michelle.
I found you.
Thanks a lot, Jess.
Hey, guys, good news.
The new ice skating
rink just opened today.
You guys can take us.
You don't have to wait
in the parking lot, though.
You can come in and watch us.
Let's go get our skates.
Wait for me, I got little legs.
When did we agree to
take them ice skating?
They don't even ask anymore.
They just assume that
their wish is our command.
And the worst part
is I don't remember
getting one thank
you today, do you?
Well, let's see...
"Gimme," "Get me," "Take me,"
"Make me," "Buy me, "Drive me,"
"Find me." Nope, no "thank you."
Those girls are
so unappreciative.
I cook, I clean, I iron...
I'm starting to sound
like my mother.
I say we give them a
taste of their own medicine.
Okay, boys, let's ride.
Girls, new plan. Come over here.
We're gonna stay home, and
we are gonna play a new game
called "We're the Kids,
and You're the Adults,"
so you get to be in charge.
We're the adults?
You mean, we can
do what ever we want?
Yep.
All right! Yes!
There's gotta be a catch.
There better be a catch.
Danny, lay a catch on 'em.
Yes, there is a catch.
The catch is you
girls have to assume
all the responsibilities that
come with being a parent.
Okay, let's catch the end
of that basketball game.
Yeah! Not so fast.
Let's see if this works.
No watching TV until
your rooms are clean.
What? [SIGHS]
I guess that means I can watch.
I'm ready to ouce skate.
Forget it. We're not
going "ouce" skating.
Make up your minds.
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
Party time!
All right! Yeah!
Let's watch The Top
Ten Video Countdown.
All right! I love
being grounded here.
I want my ouce cream.
You want your ice cream.
That's what I said.
Don't you listen?
Okay, on your
mark, get set, pig out!
Yeah. All right!
Girls, lunchtime.
No, thanks, we
skipped right to dessert.
No, I mean, lunch for us kids.
Remember, the people
you're responsible for?
The catch.
Come on, I cleaned
my room and everything.
Okay, we'll make lunch,
but you kids have
to set the table.
I'm gonna get out of here
before they put me to work.
Don't touch my ouce cream!
All right, peanut butter
and jelly on wheat.
Ham and cheese on rye.
And egg salad
on white, no crust.
Now, if you guys will excuse us,
we might still catch
some of the top ten videos.
Hurry, you're
missing number five.
We're coming. Let's go.
Hey, ho-ho-ho-hold it!
This is grape jelly.
You guys know I
like strawberry jelly.
How could that have
slipped my mind?
One peanut butter and
strawberry jelly coming up.
Bye.
Oh, Steph, before you
go, can I have some juice?
Juice? Of course.
Where is my head?
Glass.
Hey, that sounds
like a great idea.
Why don't you
make that two. Okay.
Anybody else want juice?
No.
Make mine milk.
[ANGRILY] Okay.
All right, peanut butter
and strawberry jelly.
All right, P.B.S.J.
Got 'em.
Uh, Steph, I
wanted orange juice.
[GROANS]
I'll take apple.
Apple for the big guy.
I will see you in
the living room.
Hey, ho-ho-ho-hold it.
You still got some grape
on one of these corners.
Then don't eat that corner.
Yes, but once the
sandwich is closed,
it's hard to tell which is
the grape-infested corner.
There. Now you're safe.
Banilli Banilli is next.
Rock 'n' roll!
I'm coming.
Uh, girls, before we
drink, we need ice.
Ice?
Ice it is!
Uh, make mine
cubes, not crushed.
Make mine crushed, not cube.
Would anyone like them
carved like little animals?
Hey, this is chunky
peanut butter.
Yeah, so?
Well, I'm just not in a
chunky kind of mood.
Well, I'm not making
you another sandwich.
I'm not asking you to.
What I am asking you to do
is, you can take these itsy-bitsy,
ugly little chunks of
peanuts out of my sandwich.
That's it! Lunch is over.
Could you make this
half-crushed, half-cubed?
I've had it. Go to your rooms!
Right now! March!
Great game, Danny.
Now we're being punished.
And no talking! Come on.
Yeah, go to your rooms, guys.
Go, boys. Go.
Talk about your
selfish, spoiled brats.
All I have to say is, how rude.
Joey, we need to talk.
You guys snuck down here.
Man, the girls grounded us.
We're all gonna
get in big trouble.
It's a game, you idiot!
How did my plan backfire?
We took them totally for
granted just like they did to us,
and they never even
made the connection.
Well, if we don't put a
stop to this right now,
we're gonna be waiting
on them hand and foot
for the rest of our lives.
For the rest of our lives?
Oh, man, I can see it now.
We're still living in the house.
The girls are still
living in the house.
That dog, Comet, is
still living in the house.
This is not a pretty picture.
Stay, Comet.
Play dead.
You are just
playing, aren't you?
All right, come on, Dusty.
Let's see if you still
got any suck left in you.
[TURNS VACUUM ON] Whoa!
All right, boy.
O-kay-kay-kay-kay-kay.
Well, blow me down.
Where's me Olive Oyl?
Oh, you dirt-obsessed old
fool, you sucked up my chip.
I knew you were gonna drop it.
Do I look like I've
dropped any chips?
They're all in there,
millions of 'em.
Hey!
What are you guys
muttering about?
Every time I come
around, you're muttering.
You're muttering to him,
he's muttering to. You guys...
Oh, it's a beautiful day.
I remember when I ate a
burrito in 1994 in a muffler shack.
We're muttering?
We're muttering?!
You're muttering.
You think you're
such a hot young stud.
You in your jungle jammies.
Well, at least I
still have my hair.
[GASPS]
Now I have your hair.
[LAUGHING]
[DOOR KNOCKING]
Hold it, that's my date!
Put my hair back! Okay, hold on.
Slow, slow! Okay.
How does it look?
Oh, very lifelike.
DANNY: Help me
with the food, Joey.
Oh, Jesse!
My main squeeze.
I wouldn't squeeze
me too hard. I just ate.
Thanks for the warning.
Hey, Becky, look out for
that hippopotamus behind you.
Oh, sorry.
You know, you really
oughta put some reflectors
on that thing.
[CHUCKLING]
Have...
A nice bowl of Cream
of Wheat? JESSE: No!
It has nothing to
do with breakfast.
Have... "Mercy," you old poop!
No, no, no, no, no.
It's... It's, "Have pity."
Come on, babe, let's go
down to the Smash Club,
and you can watch
me do my thang.
I'm so proud of you.
My honey is the world's
oldest Elvis impersonator.
[IMITATING ELVIS] Thank
you very much, pretty mama.
Watch me shake: [GIGGLES]
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Joey, did you leave
me some doughnuts?
Well, if I did, it was
purely by accident.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey,
don't look at my woman.
Where am I supposed to look?
Your woman is everywhere.
[CHUCKLES]
Come on, let's take
the girls their breakfast.
Okay, but try not to eat
it all on the way up, Joey.
[CHUCKLES] You fat guy.
Stop muttering. Stop muttering.
Well, guess I'll
just have a seat.
Hmm, better make that two.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Drop that toast.
Ah, get off my case.
I found it in my robe.
You're a slob, Joey.
You're a tall slob.
Okay! Rise and shine!
Come on, get up, D.J.
Breakfast before noon?
How rude!
I'm so disgusted with
hearing, "How rude."
Dad, I can't take it anymore.
I need my own room.
This town is full of rooms.
Go rent one, the both of you.
Why would I leave?
Uncle Jesse does my
cooking, Joey does my laundry,
and, Dad, you do my cleaning.
I love my life.
Your perkiness
is no longer cute.
Danny, I think it's time
for the "One Day You'll
Appreciate Your Sister" lecture.
Girls, one day you'll
appreciate your sister.
Good lecture. Thank you.
Now hug.
ALL: Aw.
ALL: Now move out!
Michelle! Michelle, hurry up
and get in here and
get your breakfast
before it becomes
another chin for Joey.
Hi, people.
Ah, Michelle, just
in time for breakfast.
I'm not in the
mood for breakfast.
Do you have any ouce cream?
ALL: It's "ice cream."
And I ate the last
gallon this morning.
Aw, nuts.
Hi, Tanners. Kimmy
Gibbler! Oh, my God!
BOTH: Whoa, baby!
Eat your hearts out, boys.
Too bad you weren't nicer
to me when I was a kid.
[BOTH GASPING]
Come on, girls. We
gotta get to the mall.
Adios, Tanners.
I'll get Dad's credit cards.
I'll go make a list of
chores for the guys to do
while we're gone.
And don't forget
we'll need a ride.
Whoever can make it
downstairs first will drive you.
You got it, dude.
She was so smart
when she was three.
What happened?
Well, did you hear
one "thank you" today?
BOTH: No.
How could you let your
kids get so out of control?
Well, you can't blame me.
I'm just the old fat guy
who lives in the basement.
Our lives are pathetic.
No, your hair is pathetic.
[CHUCKLING] No, no!
Hey, Joey, catch the rug!
Come on, now, boys.
I'm in the clear. Over here.
Don't do it. No, Joey.
Joey! Hey, I got it.
Joey, one more time.
Joey! It's not funny.
[CHEERING]
Give me my hair!
Get away from me.
Give me my hair!
Get away from me.
My arm... Oh, my arm!
[ALL YELLING]
I hid it, for crying out loud.
And we all lived
miserably ever after.
That was so depressing.
Yeah, can you imagine
the girls still living here?
No, not that. My hair.
Well, it doesn't have
to happen that way.
We can all learn something
from that little story.
Yeah, I'm gonna start being
really nice to Kimmy Gibbler.
Uncle Jesse, Daddy,
I thought we sent
you two to your rooms.
They snuck down
without permission.
Kiss-up.
I think it's time
we had a little
talk with you boys.
Great, first we're
getting punished,
now we're getting a lecture.
You deserve a lecture after
the way you behaved today.
We try and make
you a nice lunch,
and what do we get?
Zippo.
Not a thank you. Not a thanks.
Not a "Hey, pal, good goin'."
Not a "Way to go, chum."
Not a "Muchas gracias, amigo."
Not... Steph, they get it.
Well, girls, let me
ask you something.
How does it feel not
to get a thank you?
Crummy.
Well, just imagine how much
crummier you would have felt
if you had to wash our sweaters.
Rush out for our film.
Shared your caviar picnic.
Dropped everything to
take us to the movies.
Excuse us.
Did you happen
to say a thank you
for any of the things
they did for us today?
No, did you?
No.
So this game was
to teach us a lesson.
And you know what,
we needed one.
I think we owe 'em a
couple thousand thank you's.
We really blew it today.
You guys do so much,
and you're so wonderful,
and sometimes we just
expect you to be wonderful,
and we forget to tell you
how much we appreciate
how wonderful you are.
What we're trying to say is,
you guys are really wonderful.
And I just want
to say, thank you.
Thanks.
Hey, pal, good goin'.
Way to go, chum.
Muchas gracias, amigo.
Steph, just hug 'em.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪