Full House (1987–1995): Season 3, Episode 11 - Aftershocks - full transcript

Earthquake! A tremor shakes everyone up - especially Stephanie, who immediately becomes a clinging daddy's girl.

[BLUES MUSIC PLAYING]

Play the teapot "thong."

You wanna hear
the teapot "thong"?

Come on, Joe, let's give
her a little teapot blues.

All right, Jess.

Hit it, young man.

♪ I'm a little Teapot ♪

♪ Short And stout ♪

♪ Why, here is My handle ♪

JOEY: ♪ Must be my spout ♪

♪ When I get all hot ♪



♪ You're gonna hear
me shout, I said ♪

BOTH: ♪ Tip me over, baby ♪

♪ And pour me out ♪

Rock and roll!

JESSE: Shake
that tushy, Michelle!

Yeah!

[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪

♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪

♪ Evenin' TV? ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪



♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪

♪ A hand to hold on to ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a face ♪

♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪

♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪

[♪♪♪]

Michelle, what is this?

Michelle...

How did Gumby get stuck
in the garbage disposal?

Don't look at me.

Oh, Jess, you found my Gumby.

JOEY: Hi, Deej.

Hi, guys. JESSE: Hey, Deej.

Hey, I got my costume for
the Christmas play tomorrow.

You guys are gonna
think it's so cute.

And if you don't,
please lie to me,

because I gotta wear it anyway.

JESSE: Don't
worry, we'll love it.

So, boys, do any work today,

or did you just play housewife?

Well, Kimmy, I called your mom.

Great news.

You can move back
home. Heh-heh-heh.

Your room's been
painted, and all the repairs

from the earthquake
are finished.

Actually, they were
finished yesterday,

but somehow your
mom forgot to call.

Aw, I hate to leave.

I feel like I'm part
of the family now.

Yeah, you know, you've
only been here two days,

but, gosh, Joseph...

doesn't it seem like a lifetime?

I'll see you later, kid.

It's been a slice.

I guess I'll go pack.

Oh, no need.

Already packed for you.

It's all part of our service.

Kimmy, don't go.

I miss you.

The little goofball worships me.

Would it make you happy

if I stay here one more night?

Tt-tt-tt.

No. No.

Yes.

Then I'm staying.

I take this to your room.

Hey, what's going on?

Well, I was about to go home,

but everyone begged
me to stay one more night.

First the earthquake, now this.

Haven't I been through enough?

Ho, ho, ho. JESSE: Whoa.

Well, what do you think?

JESSE: Yeah.

Well if my belly shook
like a bowl of jelly...

you'd be my kind of woman.

If your belly shook
like a bowlful of jelly?

You look Great, Deej. Mercy.

You look cute.

What do you think, Steph?

Great costume.

And it matches that
red pimple on your nose.

You're kidding, right?

Check it out.

This can't be.

I've never, ever had...

A zit!

Oh, no!

This can't be happening.

Well, Deej, it's okay.

It's part of life, you know?

Sooner or later,
everybody gets a visit

from the Zit Fairy.

I have to be Mrs. Claus tomorrow

in front of the whole school.

You could always switch
parts and play Rudolph.

What are you laughing
at, parakeet legs?

Ooh.

Cranky pimple.

[RUMBLING]

D.J... D.J.!

Do you feel that shaking?

Yes, I feel it.

Stop shaking me.

I think we just had
another little earthquake.

Stephanie, don't be
such a scaredy-cat.

Your little earthquake
is a garbage truck.

Steph, go back to sleep.

How can you sleep when
there's a garbage truck

pretending to be an earthquake?

I'll go see if Michelle's okay.

D.J., how did your
zit cream work?

I don't know. I guess
I better go check.

[SIGHS]

Michelle.

Michelle, wake up.

Good morning.

It's not morning.

You're having trouble sleeping.

I am?

You are.

But come with me.

We'll go sleep in Daddy's room.

This is nuts.

Just come with me.

[SNORING]

Daddy sleeps loud.

Shh.

You go on that side.

I'll get on this side.

[SNORING]

Good night, Michelle.

Good night, Stephanie.

Good night, Daddy!

Michelle...

Why are you awake?

My eyes are open.

Hi, Dad!

Oh, hey. It's a party now.

Steph... this has been
happening too much lately.

You know you cannot
sleep in my room.

I know.

But this time it
wasn't my fault.

Michelle came into
my room, woke me up

and dragged me in here.

I did not.

Did so.

Did not.

Did so.

Did not. Did not.

Okay, okay.

I think I get the gist of this.

Something did or did not happen.

All right, it's a
slumber party, okay?

Everybody go to bed.

Okay. Good night.

[SIGHS]

Daddy, no more snoring.

I do not snore.

Do too.

Do not.

Do too.

Do not.

Do too. Do not. Do not. Do not.

Go to bed.

Do not.

Do too.

D.J., come on, you're
gonna miss the bus.

Kimmy, where are you?

Over here.

Follow the sound of my voice.

Hold it, Benji.

D.J., that pimple
is not that bad.

Joey...

I cannot be Mrs.
Santa Claus like this.

She's 612 years old.

Her face would have
cleared up by now.

Kid, if it's bothering you
that much, very simple.

Just put a little
Band-Aid on it.

Ba-da-bing.

Why would Mrs.
Claus wear a Band-Aid?

Uh, just say that Jack Frost
was nipping at your nose.

[LAUGHS]

Ho, ho, ho.

Stifle it, Kimmy.

Kimmy... let's go.

Lead me to the bus.

Bye, D.J.

Good luck with your play.

Thanks, Dad.

I'll need it.

Daddy and I are
having the best morning.

Aren't we, Daddy?

We sure are, sweetheart.

Let's keep the fun going.

I'll go to work with you.

Honey, you know you
have to go to school.

I know, but I bet I could learn
more hanging out with you,

because you're the smartest
person in the whole world.

Oh, gee...

I don't know if I'm
the smartest person

in the whole world.

There must be someone
smarter, like, uh, maybe in Japan.

[IN UNISON] No.

Steph, I promise we'll have fun

together when I get home, okay?

I can't wait.

Oh, this is so sweet.

Now go get your books.

Okay.

Oh, if you want, you can
come to school with me.

It's macaroni surprise day.

Think about it.

Steph's really been
clingy to you lately.

What's going on with her?

Nothing's going on with her.

What's wrong with a
daughter adoring her father?

You heard her. She
thinks I'm the smartest,

most handsome dad
in the whole universe.

She didn't say anything
about handsome.

Well, it goes without saying.

Uncle Jesse!

Joey!

Where's Daddy?

Uh, probably just
stuck in traffic, Steph.

You don't know that for sure.

Uh, Steph, honey...

While we wait for your dad,

why don't we watch that
really cool Wizard of Oz tape.

Oh, yeah. You love
those Munchkins.

Joey.

[HIGH VOICE] ♪ We
represent The lollipop guild ♪

♪ The lollipop guild ♪

♪ The lollipop guild ♪
[JESSE LAUGHS]

♪ And in the name
of The lollipop guild ♪

♪ We welcome you to... ♪

Munchkinland.

I'm home.

Daddy, where were you?

I missed you! Oh...
I missed you too.

I was stuck in traffic.

Let's play pick-up-sticks.

You'll have a great time.

The whole game is cleaning up.

I'd love to, sweetie,

but it's gonna have to
wait until tomorrow, okay?

Honey, I have
dinner plans tonight.

Okay, I'll go with you.

Should I wear my pink
dress or my blue dress?

Sweetheart, it's
a business dinner.

Better go with the blue.

I'm sorry, honey.

It's for grownups only, okay?

You can't go.

No, Daddy, you can't go!

Sweetie, it's only
for a couple hours.

Steph... we'll be here with you.

Yeah, we'll play
any game you want.

No, I want my Daddy!

You can't go.

Don't leave me.

Don't leave me. It's okay.

It's okay. I won't go.

I'll stay here with you, okay?

Everything's all right.

[♪♪♪]

Yes!

I win again.

Playing Barrel of Monkeys
is more fun than a barrel of...

I bet that's where
they got the name.

My turn.

Okay, Michelle.

Now the first thing you do...

is shake it up.

Well, as long as you're
shaking, hold this.

Okay, now dump them.

Now you try to pick
all the monkeys up.

Got it, dude.

This is easy.

Dad, she's turning
Barrel of Monkeys

into a very silly game.

Steph, why don't you and I

have a little talk over here,

just the two of us, okay?

Okay.

Okay. We'll be back, Michelle.

You keep monkeying around.

Okay, Daddy.

I heard a good
joke in school today.

How do you know an elephant

has been in your refrigerator?

I don't know.

By the footprints in the butter.

Ha-ha-ha.

I kill myself.

You tell one.

Okay, uh,

what's purple and
lives in the ocean?

A purple fish?

Moby Grape. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Ha-ha.

I don't get it.

You're right. It's not funny.

Hey, you remember me?

It's monkey time.

Oh, Michelle, the
monkeys are tired.

You put them to sleep.

Good night, monkey.

Steph, I want to
ask you something.

How come you
were so upset tonight

when I told you I was
going out to dinner?

Because I want to be with you.

Honey, lately...

you've been clinging
to my side all the time.

If something's bothering
you, I want to know what it is,

so I can make you feel better.

I feel fine.

Well, then I guess you won't
be sleeping in my room anymore.

Why not?

Are you mad at me?

No, honey, I'm not mad at you.

I just need to know
what is bothering you.

Nothing is bothering me!

Come on, let's go play
some more Barrel of Monkeys.

My turn.

Shh.

The monkeys are sleeping.

[WHISPERS] Good night, monkeys.

This soup has
absolutely no taste.

I'm boiling water.

Well, in that case, it's
delicious. Give me that.

Hi, guys.

Hey... how did the play go?

The play was fine.

But here's the great news.

Everybody has zits.

[JOEY LAUGHS]

That is great news.

I went into the girls' room

to see if I could still
stop traffic with my nose...

and there were 10 other
girls checking out their zits.

So I said, "Hey, anyone
want to play connect the dots?"

[BOTH LAUGH]

We all started laughing.

I realized that having
zits is not that big a deal.

Just as long as their faces
don't clear up before mine.

Bye. Bye.

Yup... [SIGHS]

Joey... we did it again.

Jess, we didn't do anything.

Will you just let me
have my moment, please.

Hi, guys.

BOTH: Hey, Danny.

How did it go with Steph?

I don't know.

She won't tell me
what's wrong with her.

I tried everything,

but I can't get through to her.

Danny, don't be
so hard on yourself.

Hey, I have a trophy in
my bedroom that says

"World's Greatest Dad."

I'd like to deserve it.

Oh, Danny, come on.

Not every dad knows every
answer to every problem.

Yeah, that's gonna do
me a lot of good tomorrow

when l try to leave the house,

and Stephanie
won't let go of my leg.

Maybe we need
some help with this.

What do you mean, take her
to a therapist or something?

Yeah, why not?

Joey... it's not that serious.

Danny, you just said
that she... Look, look.

She has these times
when she needs me...

and then we spend
some time together,

and things are calm again.

Hey, Danny, admit it.

After what happened today,

whatever Stephanie's problem is,

it's not going away.

It's getting worse.

Well, what do you want me to do.

Take her to some stranger,

and say l can't handle
my own kid's problem?

No! I want you to say that
you love Stephanie so much

that you would do
anything to help her.

[SIGHS]

I'll call Steph's pediatrician
and see who he recommends.

[SIGHS] You're a great dad.

You know, you guys make
pretty good dads yourselves.

Thanks.

Now you go make your phone call,

clean up for dinner,

and you wash under
those nails, young man.

Yes, sir.

And, son...

I know about those
magazines under your bed.

Come on in.

I'll be right with you.

Hi. Hi.

How is it in here?

It's pretty fun.

And the best part is,
you get to miss school.

Hello. Hi.

I'm Marian Steiner.

I'm Danny Tanner.

And this is my
daughter, Stephanie.

Hi, Stephanie. Hi.

We're gonna have
a good time in here.

I have all kinds of toys.

Do you have Nintendo Game
Boy with Super Mario Bros.?

No... but I'll put it
on my shopping list.

Would you like to
draw a picture for me?

Sure. How about a nice bird?

Well, I like birds.

But what I'd really like to see

is a picture of your family.

You're in luck.

Families and birds
are my two best things.

You have a very verbal daughter.

Oh, she loves to talk.

And she can just
babble on about anything.

It can be school or the weather.

She just talks
and talks and talks.

I can't believe she does it.

I have no idea
where she gets it.

Please, sit down.

Thanks. Uh... You
probably haven't noticed

but, uh, I'm a little nervous.

I noticed.

[SIGHS]

It's just that this
is the first time

Stephanie hasn't
been able to tell me

what's bothering her.

She may not be aware herself.

We don't always know
why we do the things we do.

For instance...

do you know why
you're dusting my table?

Uh... I love to dust. Ha-ha.

Something wrong with that?

What do you think?

Well, uh, when I was growing up,

all the other kids wanted to be

astronauts or firemen...

I wanted to be a maid.

I'm through coloring.

And not a moment too soon.

Alrighty.

Let's hang this up over here.

Whoo! This is great.

Who are all these people?

Well, the one with the
can of spinach is Joey.

He does a great
Popeye impression.

[IMITATES POPEYE]
Ah-geh-geh-geh-geh.

And this is my Uncle Jesse.

He's got curly lips
because he thinks he's Elvis.

And this is my sister, D.J.

What is this big red dot?

That's her new zit.

Ah...

Stephanie, what's this,
uh, squiggly line up here?

That's a crack in the wall.

Well, how did that get there?

From the earthquake.

And here's my sister,
Michelle, and my dog, Comet.

And here's me.

I think I look taller in person.

Hm. Well, now, who's this man

standing outside the house?

That's my daddy.

Why isn't he inside
with the rest of you?

Because... he was late.

Was he late the day
of the earthquake?

Uh-huh.

We didn't know where he
was for three whole hours.

Oh, how did that make you feel?

Terrible.

I didn't know where you
were or what happened.

You should have been with me.

I was so scared I'd
never see you again.

Oh, Steph... I'm right here.

So you were scared
after the earthquake,

because you didn't know
where your daddy was.

Uh-huh.

So do you think the reason

you want to be with
your daddy all the time...

is so that you'll always
know where he is?

Yeah.

What if there's
another earthquake?

Have you been
thinking about that a lot?

I try not to,

but people are
always talking about it.

And it's on TV.

And there are all
those garbage trucks

that feel like
little earthquakes.

When it comes to earthquakes,

the best thing we can do
is to be prepared for them.

That's right.

And we are prepared, Steph.

We have all of our water
and our food and our batteries,

and everything
else we talked about.

Remember?

Uh-huh.

But I still worry about you.

I've got a good idea.

Why don't we make a list
of things that you can do

so you won't worry
when your dad's away.

Okay. Like what?

Well, your dad can call you

whenever he knows
he's gonna be late.

That's good.

Then you'll always
know where I am.

Yeah, I like that.

What else you got?

Well, if you're
still a little scared,

you can spend a couple
more nights in your dad's room.

But in a sleeping
bag on the floor.

Okay. And... only
if you need to.

We'll see what happens.

Now, what can we do
about those garbage trucks.

What a racket!

[BOTH LAUGH]

I'll call our councilman
in the morning.

Okay, I'll put this on the list.

All right.

Steph, if you want to
camp out in my room,

the sleeping bag
is still in there.

Do you still snore, Daddy?

Yes.

I'll stay here.

[LAUGHS]

Sorry.

Listen, if you need anything,

I'll be right across
the hall, okay?

Okay.

And I'm downstairs,
but if you need me,

I can be up here... [SNAPS]

like that.

And if you guys need me,

I'll be... right here.

That's my girl.

Mwah.

You're doing great. Thanks.

Good night. Good night, Dad.

Good night, guys.

Good night. Good night, Steph.

Good night, Steph.

Good night.

D.J... could you do me a favor?

Sure. What is it?

Can you untuck me a little?

I can't move.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

There we go.

Good night. Good night.

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]