Full House (1987–1995): Season 3, Episode 1 - Tanner's Island - full transcript
The family takes a vacation trip to Hawaii.
Okay, everything is
just perfect. This is great.
They're coming! They're coming!
Come on, everybody.
Okay. Is everybody ready?
Ready!
Shh. Shh. Shh.
[WHISPERS] I'm sorry.
[WHISPERS] Okay,
let's go. All right.
[IN UNISON] Surprise!
Thank you. Thank you.
[CHUCKLING]
Why are they doing this?
I don't know.
Boys, come with me.
Today is the
anniversary of the day
we all became a family.
As you know, you
guys moved in here
a couple of years
ago to help me out
for a couple of months.
Now, of course,
you can never leave.
Well, let me tell
you guys somethin'.
We're happy to be here.
We love you very much.
We can never leave?
That's right.
And to celebrate,
I have planned seven
days and seven nights
of nonstop family fun.
That's nice. All right.
In Hawaii.
Whoa! Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Hawaii?! I love their punch!
I got the station to run reruns
of Wake Up, San Francisco.
Becky, you'll be able to
go. Come with us then.
Oh, yeah, Becky. You and
I would have so much fun.
Oh, no. It sounds
like a family vacation.
I got your ticket right here.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, Danny! Thank
you! You're welcome.
Oh, Jess.
You and me in Hawaii.
I know. This is gonna be great.
We'll make a pilgrimage
to every single spot
where Elvis shot
Blue Hawaii in '61
and Paradise,
Hawaiian Style in '65.
Oh, Becky, what could
be more romantic?
Heh. I'll start making a list.
Michelle, isn't this exciting?
We're going to Hawaii.
Good.
Cut the cake.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ How did I get
Delivered here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me, please ♪
♪ This whole world's
Confusin' me ♪
♪ Flowers as mean ♪
♪ As you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird Who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
Inside you whispers: ♪
♪ "Kid, don't sell your
dreams So soon" ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
[PLAYING HAWAIIAN MUSIC]
D.J.: Yes! Yes! We're here!
[FAMILY CLAMORING]
STEPH: We did it!
D.J.: All right! Whoo!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Becky, say cheese! Smile!
Aloha.
Have... Careful.
A nice day.
Look! Look!
Hawaii has a swimming
pool and an ocean
and a soda machine!
No wonder they call it paradise!
Aloha, little girl.
Aloha, lady.
I see your belly button.
[♪♪♪]
Joey?
Joey?
Did you see that girl?
First she smiled at me
and then she winked
at me and then she...
turned into someone else.
I hate when that happens.
Okay, I have plans for you
guys. ALL: See you later.
Yo! Calling all Tanners.
Where's everybody goin'?
Surfing. Swimming.
I gotta find that hula girl.
We're gonna take the same drive
Elvis took in Blue Hawaii.
We are?
Everybody just calm down.
You are all gonna get to do
everything you want to, but...
And this is the beauty part.
We are all gonna do
everything together.
ALL [IN UNISON]: Why?
That's a good start.
We came here to celebrate
our two-year anniversary
as one big, happy family.
So I have carefully scheduled
every minute of every day
with everyone's activities.
It's all right here on
my clipboard of fun.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let the vacation... begin!
All right, we only have
15 minutes to check in.
Let's go.
You're sure nobody
else wants to play golf?
ALL [IN UNISON]: No.
DANNY: Okay, Joey
had his turn for fun.
Now I've scheduled us
to study the history
and culture of Hawaii.
JESSE: Where you takin'
us? The Don Ho museum?
Look, a little hula munchkin.
No, it's a Menehune.
"According to the
ancient legend,
"they were the first people to
inhabit the Hawaiian islands.
"The Menehunes
have magical powers,
"and they help people
when they're in trouble,
but only if you really
believe in them."
I do believe. I do believe.
I wanna meet a Menehune.
Steph, Menehunes
are make-believe,
like Mickey Mouse.
Oh, yeah?
Then how come at Disneyland,
we shook hands with Mickey?
Did you shake hands with
a make-believe mouse?
No.
Well, yeah.
I don't know.
I think you do know.
Poor kid. Can't
tell the difference
between real and make-believe.
All right, everybody.
We have an hour and 20
minutes to meet and greet
over 57 varieties
of marine life.
ALL: All right!
[♪♪♪]
Becky, get a picture.
Tell him to swim
more to his left.
It's a killer whale.
You tell him.
Nice fishy.
Big fishy.
[CHUCKLES]
[SQUEALS]
Hi. Here.
Wait a minute.
Okay. Okay, hold on, honey.
Hang on, girls.
Those things don't
come with seat belts.
[SQUEALING]
Totally rad!
DANNY: Totally rad.
Dad, did you see it?!
DANNY: It's all on tape.
It was so cool!
[BEEPING] Okay, time's up.
Everybody out of the pool.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Not you guys.
This might be it.
Hang on a second.
This is it, folks.
This is the exact tree
Elvis floated by singing
"Drums of the Island"
in his 1965 Technicolor
classic, Paradise, Hawaiian Style.
Please just take a
moment and let it all soak in.
Well, I'm soaked. Let's go.
Becky, please.
Show a little respect.
This is an historical
Elvis landmark.
Now, take some pictures.
[IMITATING ELVIS] Thank
you. You're a beautiful family.
All right. Get one with the real
kinda whole lip thing.
Right here, baby.
He nuts.
ALL [IN UNISON]: Stroke! Stroke!
Stroke! Stroke!
Stroke! Stroke!
My girl!
Joey!
Swimming is tomorrow
from 9 to 10:15.
[♪♪♪]
She's gone!
And I'm alone.
And I'm wet.
DANNY: The clipboard
of fun says today
I get to be the skipper.
D.J.: Skipper, we've
been out here for hours.
JESSE: Danny, do you even
have a clue where we are?
Ahoy, mateys.
Gather 'round ye skipper.
Aye, aye, skipper.
According to my map, we
should be arriving any minute
at the beautiful island of Pua
for a picnic on the beach
and a Polynesian show.
Which island?
This island.
Hey, where'd the island go?
It's on your finger, Dad.
Ahoy, mateys.
Your skipper has
been sailing all morning
to a potato chip crumb.
[ALL GROANING]
Great.
Dad, are we lost?
Oh, course not. [CHUCKLES]
We're exactly, uh,
2 hours and 46 minutes due...
this way of our hotel.
Look! An island.
All right! All right!
DANNY: You see?
See, I told ya.
Skipper, exactly where
is that island on the map?
Well, it's right...
Uhhh, it's, uh, one of those.
DANNY: What a beautiful beach.
Anybody find anything?
BECKY: Nothing up the beach.
There's nothing down the beach.
I haven't seen one
sign of intelligent life,
skipper.
Whoa-ho. Island crankiness.
Look, nobody panic.
Let's go back to where
your skipper tied up the boat.
I'll simply radio
the Coast Guard,
and tell 'em our location,
and they'll guide
us to Pua. Okay?
Now, follow me.
Aye, aye, skipper.
Michelle, don't encourage him.
Okay, guys, we're gonna
have our picnic on the boat.
Now, if the trade
winds are favorable,
we can still make
the Polynesian show.
Of course, if we're late,
this could spell disaster
for the clipboard of fun.
Bye-bye, boat.
How cute.
Michelle's waving
bye-bye to... our boat!
Aw, D.J., don't be silly.
I tied up our boat right...
there!
It is our boat!
Come back!
Hurry, Dad.
Jesse, you'll never
catch that boat.
I don't wanna catch the boat.
I wanna catch Danny!
JESSE: Come back here!
Jesse, leave me alone!
Come over here, skipper!
Not until you calm down!
All right!
All right. Fine.
I'm calm.
I'm cool. I'm not
gonna hurt you.
I just wanna talk to you.
That's better.
First thing I'd like to say is:
I hate this clipboard of fun!
How can a person lose a boat?
It's not my fault.
The rope must have
slipped off the rope thingy.
The rope thingy?
Skipper,
we're stuck! What
are we gonna do?
Well, if we were
on Gilligan's Island,
the professor would make
a radio out of coconuts.
Joseph, this is no
time for comedy.
It's time to blame Danny.
Relax, Jess, we have the
rest of our lives to blame Danny.
Right now, we need to
keep things light and easy
so the girls don't get scared.
So I don't get scared.
Are we in really big trouble?
No. No. No.
If we believe in the Menehunes,
they will come and help us.
And then we'll live
happily ever after.
Seven-year-olds.
Aren't they adorable?
Don't ever pet me.
Well, we better start
looking for food, shelter, water
and some crazy glue, 'cause
I know I'm gonna break a nail.
All right. All right.
JOEY: Hey, what
the heck is this?
The clipboard comes back,
but the boat keeps goin'.
Come on. Let's go to work.
We got a lot to do, you guys.
Come on. Let's go.
Go with Daddy.
Oh, I hate to say it, Michelle,
but the old skipper
really goofed up bigtime.
It's okay, skipper.
Thanks, little buddy.
[IMITATING POPEYE]
Ahh, skibidipup, yeah.
Oh, a nice little coconut here.
And a nice little one here.
Oh, boy, gosh-kay-da-ba-gosh-ke.
Let's see here.
Huh? Yeah. Gosh...
Oh, gosh.
[♪♪♪]
Whoa!
Joey... [NORMAL VOICE] Oh, yes!
[IMITATING POPEYE] Oh, goshk.
Seein' girls out in the water,
gettin' conked on the
noggin with a coconut.
I'll betcha Bluto's got
something to do with this.
Oh, boy.
All right. Fresh water.
A lot of fresh water.
It's beautiful.
Jesse, this is so romantic.
Kiss me.
[CHUCKLES]
[AS ELVIS] That's paradise,
Hawaiian style, little mama.
Jesse, we're finally alone,
and you're still
talking about Elvis.
Enough!
What? You got a
problem with the King?
The King made the exact
same movie 33 times.
The only thing that changed
were those stupid sideburns.
Hold it a second.
Are you trying to tell me
that you have a problem
with Elvis's sideburns?
Yes. I believe that's
what I just said.
Well, well, well.
After all these months,
the truth finally comes out.
You hate Elvis Presley.
Oh, no, not at first, but
you pushed me too far.
You know what your
problem is? You're jealous
'cause Elvis has
better hair than you.
Better hair?! Yeah!
Check a mirror.
Oh, you know what?!
What?! I don't
have to listen to this.
I'm talkin' to you.
Becky!
Have mercy!
[BOTH YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
Look, Mr. Bear, orange things.
You taste them first.
Aah! Aah!
Menehune!
Menehune!
D.J.! D.J.!
Wait a minute! I caught a...
clipboard of fun.
D.J., come here.
[PANTING] I saw...
We screamed...
I need to catch my breath.
Okay. I'm ready.
We're saved!
I saw a Menehune!
I do believe. I do believe.
I do believe you've been
in the sun way too long.
How rude.
It wasn't just me.
Mr. Bear saw him too.
Steph, your only witness
has buttons for eyeballs.
Trust me.
There are no Menehunes.
Well, if that's true,
then what's gonna happen to us?
We have no house
or a bed or a phone.
We can't even
call out for pizza.
We're doomed.
We're not doomed.
Dad, Uncle Jesse, and Joey
would never let
anything happen to us.
They have everything
under control.
Are you sure?
I'm sure. There's
nothing to worry about.
Thanks, Deej.
Danny, what are you doing?
This island is a pigsty.
Daddy, the plane, the plane.
The plane!
The plane! The plane!
Help! Hey! Help!
Help! We're here!
Help! ALL: We're here!
JESSE: They can't hear
us. JOEY: They're gone.
We're gonna be stranded
on this island forever.
Oh, and I suppose
that's my fault?
Don't answer that.
I'll answer it.
Of course it's your fault.
I'd say we leave you
and start our own tribe.
What's it gonna be?
A tribe of Elvis impersonators?
Oh, that's really funny.
All you talk about is Elvis.
Enough with the Elvis!
It's not my fault!
It is your fault.
It's not my fault.
D.J., I thought you said
they had everything
under control.
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[BLOWS CONCH]
Stop fighting.
We're all in this together.
The whole reason for this trip
was to celebrate being a family.
We're lucky to have each other.
I bet if we start working
together as a team,
we can make Potato
Chip Crumb Island
a totally rad place to hang.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I'm very proud of you, Deej.
Come on. Let's do it, guys.
All right, fellas, let's do it.
I say the heck with Elvis.
Let's build a hut,
everybody, all right?
And we can call it Grassland.
[CHUCKLES] [GIGGLES]
Thanks for saying that, D.J.
Michelle was
looking a little worried.
Not me.
Come on. Let's go.
Let's go build a hut.
I'd like to make a toast.
Here's to Dad, Uncle
Jesse and Joey and Becky
for building our
beautiful new home.
Thank you. Hey. All right.
And for being
the best big sister
on this whole
island, here's to D.J.
ALL [IN UNISON]: Yeah!
Here to Big Bird.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
[TRIBAL DRUMBEATS]
It's the Menehunes. We're saved!
Come on, everybody.
Ste... Stephanie, wait a minute!
Honey, hold on!
It's dark out there.
Steph!
Don't worry.
The Menehunes are
very cute and friendly.
[HOLLERING]
Aah!
Or not.
Mele kalikimaka!
All right. Leave the
women and children.
Just take the men.
Actually, just take
the man responsible.
Uh, excuse me, sir,
I don't mean to pry,
but where are we?
Pua.
Pua? We're here!
See? The skipper got
us to the right island,
just the wrong side of it.
You must be the owners of
the boat that washed ashore.
Sorry if we scared you,
but we like to tease tourists
before we put them on stage.
Pretty funny, eh?
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
What is this, man?
ANNOUNCER: This Is
Polynesia invites our visitors
to join us on stage
for Tahitian dancing.
Aloha.
Hey, it's you!
I've been lookin'
all over for you.
Would you like to dance with me?
Read my hips.
Read mine first.
[INAUDIBLE]
[INAUDIBLE]
[DRUMMING STOPS]
Excuse me.
I talked to the band.
This one's for
you and for Elvis.
Rock-a-hula your
heart out, baby.
The band knows the song?
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[BAND PLAYS ELVIS
PRESLEY'S "ROCK-A-HULA BABY"]
♪ Rock-a-hula Rock-rock-a-hula ♪
♪ Rock-a-hula Rock-rock-a-hula ♪
♪ Rock-a-hula Rock-rock-a-hula ♪
♪ Rock-a-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ The way she moves
her hips To her fingertips ♪
♪ I feel I'm heaven bound ♪
♪ And when she starts
to sway I've gotta say ♪
♪ She really moves
The grass around ♪
♪ Rock ♪
AUDIENCE: ♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby, rock ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby ♪
♪ Rock a-hula-hu From a-Honolu ♪
♪ Yeah, that Rock-a-hula
baby of mine ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby, rock ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby ♪
♪ Rock a-hula-hu From a-Honolu ♪
♪ Yeah, that Rock-a-hula
baby of mine ♪
♪ And I'm sayin' now rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby ♪
♪ You're mine ♪
[SONG ENDS]
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER: Northwest
Airlines, with a proud new look,
was pleased to
provide travel to Hawaii
for Full House.
Northwest Airlines,
to more than 200 cities
in 21 countries.
Accommodations and locations
provided by Turtle Bay
Hilton & Country Club.
[♪♪♪]
just perfect. This is great.
They're coming! They're coming!
Come on, everybody.
Okay. Is everybody ready?
Ready!
Shh. Shh. Shh.
[WHISPERS] I'm sorry.
[WHISPERS] Okay,
let's go. All right.
[IN UNISON] Surprise!
Thank you. Thank you.
[CHUCKLING]
Why are they doing this?
I don't know.
Boys, come with me.
Today is the
anniversary of the day
we all became a family.
As you know, you
guys moved in here
a couple of years
ago to help me out
for a couple of months.
Now, of course,
you can never leave.
Well, let me tell
you guys somethin'.
We're happy to be here.
We love you very much.
We can never leave?
That's right.
And to celebrate,
I have planned seven
days and seven nights
of nonstop family fun.
That's nice. All right.
In Hawaii.
Whoa! Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Hawaii?! I love their punch!
I got the station to run reruns
of Wake Up, San Francisco.
Becky, you'll be able to
go. Come with us then.
Oh, yeah, Becky. You and
I would have so much fun.
Oh, no. It sounds
like a family vacation.
I got your ticket right here.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, Danny! Thank
you! You're welcome.
Oh, Jess.
You and me in Hawaii.
I know. This is gonna be great.
We'll make a pilgrimage
to every single spot
where Elvis shot
Blue Hawaii in '61
and Paradise,
Hawaiian Style in '65.
Oh, Becky, what could
be more romantic?
Heh. I'll start making a list.
Michelle, isn't this exciting?
We're going to Hawaii.
Good.
Cut the cake.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ How did I get
Delivered here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me, please ♪
♪ This whole world's
Confusin' me ♪
♪ Flowers as mean ♪
♪ As you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird Who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
Inside you whispers: ♪
♪ "Kid, don't sell your
dreams So soon" ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
[PLAYING HAWAIIAN MUSIC]
D.J.: Yes! Yes! We're here!
[FAMILY CLAMORING]
STEPH: We did it!
D.J.: All right! Whoo!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Becky, say cheese! Smile!
Aloha.
Have... Careful.
A nice day.
Look! Look!
Hawaii has a swimming
pool and an ocean
and a soda machine!
No wonder they call it paradise!
Aloha, little girl.
Aloha, lady.
I see your belly button.
[♪♪♪]
Joey?
Joey?
Did you see that girl?
First she smiled at me
and then she winked
at me and then she...
turned into someone else.
I hate when that happens.
Okay, I have plans for you
guys. ALL: See you later.
Yo! Calling all Tanners.
Where's everybody goin'?
Surfing. Swimming.
I gotta find that hula girl.
We're gonna take the same drive
Elvis took in Blue Hawaii.
We are?
Everybody just calm down.
You are all gonna get to do
everything you want to, but...
And this is the beauty part.
We are all gonna do
everything together.
ALL [IN UNISON]: Why?
That's a good start.
We came here to celebrate
our two-year anniversary
as one big, happy family.
So I have carefully scheduled
every minute of every day
with everyone's activities.
It's all right here on
my clipboard of fun.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let the vacation... begin!
All right, we only have
15 minutes to check in.
Let's go.
You're sure nobody
else wants to play golf?
ALL [IN UNISON]: No.
DANNY: Okay, Joey
had his turn for fun.
Now I've scheduled us
to study the history
and culture of Hawaii.
JESSE: Where you takin'
us? The Don Ho museum?
Look, a little hula munchkin.
No, it's a Menehune.
"According to the
ancient legend,
"they were the first people to
inhabit the Hawaiian islands.
"The Menehunes
have magical powers,
"and they help people
when they're in trouble,
but only if you really
believe in them."
I do believe. I do believe.
I wanna meet a Menehune.
Steph, Menehunes
are make-believe,
like Mickey Mouse.
Oh, yeah?
Then how come at Disneyland,
we shook hands with Mickey?
Did you shake hands with
a make-believe mouse?
No.
Well, yeah.
I don't know.
I think you do know.
Poor kid. Can't
tell the difference
between real and make-believe.
All right, everybody.
We have an hour and 20
minutes to meet and greet
over 57 varieties
of marine life.
ALL: All right!
[♪♪♪]
Becky, get a picture.
Tell him to swim
more to his left.
It's a killer whale.
You tell him.
Nice fishy.
Big fishy.
[CHUCKLES]
[SQUEALS]
Hi. Here.
Wait a minute.
Okay. Okay, hold on, honey.
Hang on, girls.
Those things don't
come with seat belts.
[SQUEALING]
Totally rad!
DANNY: Totally rad.
Dad, did you see it?!
DANNY: It's all on tape.
It was so cool!
[BEEPING] Okay, time's up.
Everybody out of the pool.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Not you guys.
This might be it.
Hang on a second.
This is it, folks.
This is the exact tree
Elvis floated by singing
"Drums of the Island"
in his 1965 Technicolor
classic, Paradise, Hawaiian Style.
Please just take a
moment and let it all soak in.
Well, I'm soaked. Let's go.
Becky, please.
Show a little respect.
This is an historical
Elvis landmark.
Now, take some pictures.
[IMITATING ELVIS] Thank
you. You're a beautiful family.
All right. Get one with the real
kinda whole lip thing.
Right here, baby.
He nuts.
ALL [IN UNISON]: Stroke! Stroke!
Stroke! Stroke!
Stroke! Stroke!
My girl!
Joey!
Swimming is tomorrow
from 9 to 10:15.
[♪♪♪]
She's gone!
And I'm alone.
And I'm wet.
DANNY: The clipboard
of fun says today
I get to be the skipper.
D.J.: Skipper, we've
been out here for hours.
JESSE: Danny, do you even
have a clue where we are?
Ahoy, mateys.
Gather 'round ye skipper.
Aye, aye, skipper.
According to my map, we
should be arriving any minute
at the beautiful island of Pua
for a picnic on the beach
and a Polynesian show.
Which island?
This island.
Hey, where'd the island go?
It's on your finger, Dad.
Ahoy, mateys.
Your skipper has
been sailing all morning
to a potato chip crumb.
[ALL GROANING]
Great.
Dad, are we lost?
Oh, course not. [CHUCKLES]
We're exactly, uh,
2 hours and 46 minutes due...
this way of our hotel.
Look! An island.
All right! All right!
DANNY: You see?
See, I told ya.
Skipper, exactly where
is that island on the map?
Well, it's right...
Uhhh, it's, uh, one of those.
DANNY: What a beautiful beach.
Anybody find anything?
BECKY: Nothing up the beach.
There's nothing down the beach.
I haven't seen one
sign of intelligent life,
skipper.
Whoa-ho. Island crankiness.
Look, nobody panic.
Let's go back to where
your skipper tied up the boat.
I'll simply radio
the Coast Guard,
and tell 'em our location,
and they'll guide
us to Pua. Okay?
Now, follow me.
Aye, aye, skipper.
Michelle, don't encourage him.
Okay, guys, we're gonna
have our picnic on the boat.
Now, if the trade
winds are favorable,
we can still make
the Polynesian show.
Of course, if we're late,
this could spell disaster
for the clipboard of fun.
Bye-bye, boat.
How cute.
Michelle's waving
bye-bye to... our boat!
Aw, D.J., don't be silly.
I tied up our boat right...
there!
It is our boat!
Come back!
Hurry, Dad.
Jesse, you'll never
catch that boat.
I don't wanna catch the boat.
I wanna catch Danny!
JESSE: Come back here!
Jesse, leave me alone!
Come over here, skipper!
Not until you calm down!
All right!
All right. Fine.
I'm calm.
I'm cool. I'm not
gonna hurt you.
I just wanna talk to you.
That's better.
First thing I'd like to say is:
I hate this clipboard of fun!
How can a person lose a boat?
It's not my fault.
The rope must have
slipped off the rope thingy.
The rope thingy?
Skipper,
we're stuck! What
are we gonna do?
Well, if we were
on Gilligan's Island,
the professor would make
a radio out of coconuts.
Joseph, this is no
time for comedy.
It's time to blame Danny.
Relax, Jess, we have the
rest of our lives to blame Danny.
Right now, we need to
keep things light and easy
so the girls don't get scared.
So I don't get scared.
Are we in really big trouble?
No. No. No.
If we believe in the Menehunes,
they will come and help us.
And then we'll live
happily ever after.
Seven-year-olds.
Aren't they adorable?
Don't ever pet me.
Well, we better start
looking for food, shelter, water
and some crazy glue, 'cause
I know I'm gonna break a nail.
All right. All right.
JOEY: Hey, what
the heck is this?
The clipboard comes back,
but the boat keeps goin'.
Come on. Let's go to work.
We got a lot to do, you guys.
Come on. Let's go.
Go with Daddy.
Oh, I hate to say it, Michelle,
but the old skipper
really goofed up bigtime.
It's okay, skipper.
Thanks, little buddy.
[IMITATING POPEYE]
Ahh, skibidipup, yeah.
Oh, a nice little coconut here.
And a nice little one here.
Oh, boy, gosh-kay-da-ba-gosh-ke.
Let's see here.
Huh? Yeah. Gosh...
Oh, gosh.
[♪♪♪]
Whoa!
Joey... [NORMAL VOICE] Oh, yes!
[IMITATING POPEYE] Oh, goshk.
Seein' girls out in the water,
gettin' conked on the
noggin with a coconut.
I'll betcha Bluto's got
something to do with this.
Oh, boy.
All right. Fresh water.
A lot of fresh water.
It's beautiful.
Jesse, this is so romantic.
Kiss me.
[CHUCKLES]
[AS ELVIS] That's paradise,
Hawaiian style, little mama.
Jesse, we're finally alone,
and you're still
talking about Elvis.
Enough!
What? You got a
problem with the King?
The King made the exact
same movie 33 times.
The only thing that changed
were those stupid sideburns.
Hold it a second.
Are you trying to tell me
that you have a problem
with Elvis's sideburns?
Yes. I believe that's
what I just said.
Well, well, well.
After all these months,
the truth finally comes out.
You hate Elvis Presley.
Oh, no, not at first, but
you pushed me too far.
You know what your
problem is? You're jealous
'cause Elvis has
better hair than you.
Better hair?! Yeah!
Check a mirror.
Oh, you know what?!
What?! I don't
have to listen to this.
I'm talkin' to you.
Becky!
Have mercy!
[BOTH YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
Look, Mr. Bear, orange things.
You taste them first.
Aah! Aah!
Menehune!
Menehune!
D.J.! D.J.!
Wait a minute! I caught a...
clipboard of fun.
D.J., come here.
[PANTING] I saw...
We screamed...
I need to catch my breath.
Okay. I'm ready.
We're saved!
I saw a Menehune!
I do believe. I do believe.
I do believe you've been
in the sun way too long.
How rude.
It wasn't just me.
Mr. Bear saw him too.
Steph, your only witness
has buttons for eyeballs.
Trust me.
There are no Menehunes.
Well, if that's true,
then what's gonna happen to us?
We have no house
or a bed or a phone.
We can't even
call out for pizza.
We're doomed.
We're not doomed.
Dad, Uncle Jesse, and Joey
would never let
anything happen to us.
They have everything
under control.
Are you sure?
I'm sure. There's
nothing to worry about.
Thanks, Deej.
Danny, what are you doing?
This island is a pigsty.
Daddy, the plane, the plane.
The plane!
The plane! The plane!
Help! Hey! Help!
Help! We're here!
Help! ALL: We're here!
JESSE: They can't hear
us. JOEY: They're gone.
We're gonna be stranded
on this island forever.
Oh, and I suppose
that's my fault?
Don't answer that.
I'll answer it.
Of course it's your fault.
I'd say we leave you
and start our own tribe.
What's it gonna be?
A tribe of Elvis impersonators?
Oh, that's really funny.
All you talk about is Elvis.
Enough with the Elvis!
It's not my fault!
It is your fault.
It's not my fault.
D.J., I thought you said
they had everything
under control.
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[BLOWS CONCH]
Stop fighting.
We're all in this together.
The whole reason for this trip
was to celebrate being a family.
We're lucky to have each other.
I bet if we start working
together as a team,
we can make Potato
Chip Crumb Island
a totally rad place to hang.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I'm very proud of you, Deej.
Come on. Let's do it, guys.
All right, fellas, let's do it.
I say the heck with Elvis.
Let's build a hut,
everybody, all right?
And we can call it Grassland.
[CHUCKLES] [GIGGLES]
Thanks for saying that, D.J.
Michelle was
looking a little worried.
Not me.
Come on. Let's go.
Let's go build a hut.
I'd like to make a toast.
Here's to Dad, Uncle
Jesse and Joey and Becky
for building our
beautiful new home.
Thank you. Hey. All right.
And for being
the best big sister
on this whole
island, here's to D.J.
ALL [IN UNISON]: Yeah!
Here to Big Bird.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
[TRIBAL DRUMBEATS]
It's the Menehunes. We're saved!
Come on, everybody.
Ste... Stephanie, wait a minute!
Honey, hold on!
It's dark out there.
Steph!
Don't worry.
The Menehunes are
very cute and friendly.
[HOLLERING]
Aah!
Or not.
Mele kalikimaka!
All right. Leave the
women and children.
Just take the men.
Actually, just take
the man responsible.
Uh, excuse me, sir,
I don't mean to pry,
but where are we?
Pua.
Pua? We're here!
See? The skipper got
us to the right island,
just the wrong side of it.
You must be the owners of
the boat that washed ashore.
Sorry if we scared you,
but we like to tease tourists
before we put them on stage.
Pretty funny, eh?
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
What is this, man?
ANNOUNCER: This Is
Polynesia invites our visitors
to join us on stage
for Tahitian dancing.
Aloha.
Hey, it's you!
I've been lookin'
all over for you.
Would you like to dance with me?
Read my hips.
Read mine first.
[INAUDIBLE]
[INAUDIBLE]
[DRUMMING STOPS]
Excuse me.
I talked to the band.
This one's for
you and for Elvis.
Rock-a-hula your
heart out, baby.
The band knows the song?
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[BAND PLAYS ELVIS
PRESLEY'S "ROCK-A-HULA BABY"]
♪ Rock-a-hula Rock-rock-a-hula ♪
♪ Rock-a-hula Rock-rock-a-hula ♪
♪ Rock-a-hula Rock-rock-a-hula ♪
♪ Rock-a-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ A-hula, rock ♪
♪ The way she moves
her hips To her fingertips ♪
♪ I feel I'm heaven bound ♪
♪ And when she starts
to sway I've gotta say ♪
♪ She really moves
The grass around ♪
♪ Rock ♪
AUDIENCE: ♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby, rock ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby ♪
♪ Rock a-hula-hu From a-Honolu ♪
♪ Yeah, that Rock-a-hula
baby of mine ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby, rock ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby ♪
♪ Rock a-hula-hu From a-Honolu ♪
♪ Yeah, that Rock-a-hula
baby of mine ♪
♪ And I'm sayin' now rock ♪
♪ A-hula baby ♪
♪ You're mine ♪
[SONG ENDS]
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER: Northwest
Airlines, with a proud new look,
was pleased to
provide travel to Hawaii
for Full House.
Northwest Airlines,
to more than 200 cities
in 21 countries.
Accommodations and locations
provided by Turtle Bay
Hilton & Country Club.
[♪♪♪]