Full House (1987–1995): Season 2, Episode 8 - Triple Date - full transcript

Danny is overjoyed when he meets a woman in the produce aisle at the store. Her name is Denise and she will be coming to his house for a dinner date. In addition, she will bring two of her ...

STOP.

WHERE YOU HEADED, TOOTS?

KITCHEN.

HOP ON.

THAT'LL BE 50 CENTS, PLEASE.

♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪

♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪

♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪

♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪

♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSIN' ME ♪

♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪



♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪

♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪

♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪

♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪

♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪



♪ A LIGHT IS WAITIN'
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪♪

♪ OK, THIS CRAZY SOCK
GOES WITH THIS WACKY SOCK ♪

♪ AND-O, THIS SOCK GOES... ♪♪

WELL, AT LEAST WE
CAME OUT EVEN, MICHELLE.

MY SOCK.

OH, THERE IT IS.

ALL RIGHT, WHERE'S MY
SOCK, POOPIE LONGSTOCKINGS?

SOCK BYE-BYE.

SOCK BYE-BYE. COME HERE, YOU.

RR-RR-RR.

♪ ALL THE GIRLS
I'VE LOVED BEFORE ♪

♪ WHO TRAVELED IN
AND OUT MY DOOR ♪

♪ I'M GLAD THEY CAME ALONG ♪

♪ I DEDICATE THIS SONG ♪

♪ TO ALL THE GIRLS
I'VE LOVED BEFORE ♪♪

OH, YEAH.

YOU GUYS GET SOME
MATCHING OUTFITS,

YOU COULD GO ON DANCE FEVER.

LIFE IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

I MET SOMEONE
TODAY AT THE MARKET.

JULIO IGLESIAS?

HER NAME IS DENISE.

WE MET IN THE PRODUCE SECTION.

SHE TURNED TO ME AND SAID,

"THE BROCCOLI
LOOKS FRESH TODAY."

AND I LOOKED INTO
HER EYES AND SAID,

"IT'S A GREAT SOURCE OF FIBER."

NEXT THING I KNOW,

SHE'S COMING HERE
FOR DINNER TONIGHT.

WHOA. YOU PICKED UP A WOMAN?

THAT WASN'T ON
THE SHOPPING LIST.

THERE'S JUST ONE LITTLE SNAG.

DENISE HAD DINNER PLANS TONIGHT

WITH HER TWO SINGLE FRIENDS.

I SAID, "HEY, I'VE GOT
TWO SINGLE ROOMMATES..."

HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

I DO NOT GO ON
BLIND DATES, CAPISCE?

I'M NOT GOING TO BEG YOU.

YES, I AM. PLEASE
DO THIS FOR ME.

OK. I'LL DO IT IF
YOU STOP HUGGING.

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.

HEY, DANNY, WHY
DIDN'T YOU BEG ME?

JOEY... OK, I'LL DO IT.

GREAT. I'M WITH DENISE,

AND YOU GUYS ARE
WITH CHERYL AND ZOEY.

ZOEY?

SHE'S YOUR DATE.

WHY DO I GET ZOEY?

JOEY AND ZOEY ALREADY
MAKE A CUTE COUPLE.

OK, LET'S MAKE THESE
GIRLS SOMETHING NICE, HUH?

MICHELLE, DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW

HOW MY SOCK GOT IN THE
FREEZER, YOUNG LADY?

JOEY.

SHE'S TRYING TO FRAME ME.

LOOK AT HER SHIFTY EYES.

WHILE WE'RE HAVING
OUR DINNER PARTY,

YOU COULD STAY
WITH THE GIBBLERS.

I HATE GOING THERE.

ALL THEY DO IS WATCH THE
HOME SHOPPING NETWORK.

WHY NOT LET ME BABY-SIT?

IT'S THE PERFECT JOB FOR ME.

BABY-SITTING IS A
BIG RESPONSIBILITY,

BUT SINCE I WILL BE
RIGHT DOWNSTAIRS,

I SUPPOSE WE CAN GIVE IT A TRY.

YOU MIND YOUR SISTER.

YOU CAN'T PUT D.J.
IN CHARGE OF ME.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE AROUND,

SHE'S A SWEET LITTLE ANGEL.

THE MINUTE YOU LEAVE,

IT'S "I'LL GET YOU, MY PRETTY."

ISN'T SHE PRECIOUS, HMM?

DON'T WORRY.

I'M READY FOR THE
RESPONSIBILITY.

I'M READY TO BE IN CHARGE.

I'M READY FOR $3.00 AN HOUR.

YOU WANT THAT TO STAY HOME

AND SPEND AN EVENING
WITH YOUR LITTLE SISTERS?

GOOD POINT. $3.50.

$2.50.

DEAL.

DEAL.

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M
RAISING A USED CAR SALESMAN?

I'LL GET YOU, MY PRETTY,

AND YOUR LITTLE BEAR, TOO.

AH HA HA HA!

THANKS FOR GOING
ALONG WITH THIS.

EVERYTHING'S GOING
TO WORK OUT GREAT.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS
THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME.

THANKS. I CAN'T BELIEVE
I REALLY MET A WOMAN.

I WAS CHARMING,

I ASKED HER OUT,
AND SHE SAID YES.

I WAS LIKE A REAL GUY, WASN'T I?

AS OPPOSED TO BEING
INFLATABLE, I'D SAY YES.

ALL RIGHT, OPEN WIDE.

VERY GOOD. IT'S A MASTERPIECE.

CHECK IT OUT.

OH, YEAH!

NO WONDER SHE DIGS
ME... I'M HAPPENING!

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING...

MAYBE IT'S TIME TO
REMOVE MY WEDDING RING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, IT'S YOUR DECISION.

YEAH, JESSE'S RIGHT.

PAM GAVE THIS RING
TO ME 13 YEARS AGO.

IT'S LIKE A PART OF ME.

I KNOW MY SISTER,

AND I KNOW SHE'D WANT YOU
TO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

YOU'RE STARTING SOMETHING NEW.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE
MEMORIES LESS SPECIAL.

THANKS, GUYS. WHAT
WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?

YOU'D BE STUCK WITH
THREE DATES TONIGHT...

WHICH WOULDN'T BE SO BAD.

BABY-SITTING IS A PIECE OF CAKE.

I GET PAID FOR WATCHING TV

AND HAVING STEPHANIE WAIT ON ME.

OK, HERE'S YOUR
POPCORN, YOUR SODA,

TV GUIDE, EXTRA
NAPKINS, AND SALT.

THANK YOU. GET MY
SLIPPERS, PLEASE.

NOW THE QUEEN
WANTS HER SLIPPERS.

WE HAVE TO KEEP
HER MAJESTY HAPPY.

SLIPPERS.

AREN'T YOU GOING
TO PUT THEM ON ME?

I'M NOT TOUCHING
YOUR COOTIE FEET.

TIE'S FINE?

EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD.

QUIT.

HI! COME IN. I'M DANNY.

YOU MUST BE CHERYL AND ZOEY.

HI. HI.

HI. HI.

WHERE'S DENISE?

SHE BACKED OUT, DIDN'T SHE?

I KNEW IT.

WELL, HAVE FUN. I'LL
JUST CATCH A MOVIE.

DENISE IS FINDING
A PARKING SPACE.

OH... GREAT.

PARK ON THE LAWN.

I'M JESSE.

I'M CHERYL.

I'M ZOEY.

I'M A HAPPY CAMPER.

ZOEY... AN UNUSUAL NAME.

ARE YOU ONE OF
FRANK ZAPPA'S KIDS?

I WAS NAMED AFTER
MY GRANDMOTHER.

IT WAS HER DYING WISH
THAT HER NAME LIVE ON.

OUCH.

WELL, THIS IS GOING
ALONG SWIMMINGLY.

I'LL JET INTO THE KITCHEN

AND CHECK MY CHEESE DELIGHTS.

EXCUSE ME... JOSEPH,
YOU'RE ON A ROLL.

DANNY, HI. DENISE.

HI.

OH... I BROUGHT YOU THESE.

AW... A BROCCOLI BOUQUET.

YOU REMEMBERED OUR VEGETABLE.

COME ON IN.

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
MY BEST FRIEND JOEY,

MY BROTHER-IN-LAW... JESSE.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SEE YOU AGAIN.

HAVE YOU TWO MET?

WELL, WE WERE SORT OF
INVOLVED A WHILE BACK.

YOU'RE THAT DENISE?

THIS IS THE JESSE?

YOU NAMED YOUR PUPPY AFTER HIM?

THAT'S ALL ANCIENT HISTORY NOW.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS

MY WONDERFUL BROTHER-IN-LAW

AND DEAR OLD FRIEND

STUMBLED UPON EACH
OTHER. CUTE COUPLE?

WELL... SAVED BY
THE CHEESE DELIGHTS.

EXCUSE ME.

YOU'RE ON A ROLL.

SHUT UP.

COME ON, MICHELLE. FOLLOW ME.

WHO DO WE LOOK LIKE?

DADDY.

NOW WE'RE GOING
TO SMELL LIKE DADDY.

FREEZE THERE, BUMMERS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DRESSED IN DAD'S STUFF?

I TRIED STOPPING HER.

SHAME ON YOU, MICHELLE.

I CAN'T TAKE MY EYE
OFF YOU CHILDREN.

TAKE ALL THAT STUFF OFF NOW.

OK, DON'T HAVE A HISSY FIT.

HEY, THAT'S DAD'S WATCH
AND HIS WEDDING RING.

I'M IN CHARGE, AND YOU'RE
BOTH IN BIG TROUBLE.

DAD'S WEDDING RING
WENT DOWN THE DRAIN.

UH-OH.

MICHELLE'S IN BED.

DID YOU GET DADDY'S RING OUT?

NO, BUT I GOT A PLAN.

IF I STICK THIS GUM TO THE TIE,

STUFF IT DOWN THE DRAIN,

AND WHEN THE RING
STICKS TO THE GUM,

I'LL PULL IT UP.

YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN DAD'S TIE.

THE RING IS MORE
IMPORTANT. YOU'RE SO DUMB.

I'M DUMB?

WHO KNOCKED THE
RING DOWN THE DRAIN,

MISS ROCKET SCIENTIST?

OK, WAIT. I THINK I GOT IT.

OH, NO. IT'S STUCK.

WELL, I'D SAY THE
DAY'S ABOUT SHOT.

GOOD NIGHT.

FREEZE.

I HAVE TO TAKE THIS SINK APART,

AND YOU HAVE TO HELP
ME GET DAD'S TOOL BOX.

CAN I STAY UP LATE AND
DO WHATEVER I WANT?

SURE, WHY NOT? I'LL
NEVER BE IN CHARGE AGAIN.

THANK YOU.

WELL, DOESN'T THAT LOOK
LIKE A HALLMARK CARD?

JESS, THIS LOOKS GREAT.

YOU'RE THE KING OF
BLACKENED SWORDFISH...

THANK YOU, JOSEPH.

I REMEMBER THE
FIRST TIME WE ATE IT...

THAT WEEKEND IN NEW ORLEANS.

YOU'RE THAT DENISE, TOO?

JOSEPH, HELP ME OUT HERE.

YEAH, SHE'S THAT DENISE, TOO.

DOES ANYBODY HERE
LIKE IMPRESSIONS?

OH, I LOVE IMPRESS...
HE'S GREAT.

THANKS, JESSE.

THIS IS A WEIRD ONE.
JIMI HENDRIX ON GUITAR.

♪ VVV... DN DN DN NA NA NA ♪

♪ DN NA NA NA VWOO ♪

JIMI HENDRIX WAS A GREAT ARTIST

WHO LIVED A TORTURED
AND TRAGIC LIFE.

OUCH.

HI. I'M STEPHANIE JUDITH TANNER.

I LIVE UPSTAIRS.

THEN WHY AREN'T
YOU UPSTAIRS LIVING?

I CAME TO TEACH YOU A
SONG I LEARNED TODAY.

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪

EVERYBODY!

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ THEN YOUR SMILE
WILL SURELY SHOW IT ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪

OK.

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ COVER YOUR EYES ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ COVER YOUR EYES ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ THEN YOUR SMILE
WILL SURELY SHOW IT ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ COVER YOUR EYES ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT... ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ WIGGLE YOUR EARS ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪

♪ WIGGLE YOUR...♪♪

OK, THIS HAS TO
BE THE RIGHT PIPE.

WHEN THE RING FALLS
OUT, CATCH IT. READY?

READY, D.J.

AAH!

OH, NO. WAIT! DID
YOU CATCH THE RING?

DO I LOOK LIKE I
CAUGHT THE RING?

CAN YOU TURN THIS OFF?

ANOTHER STUPID QUESTION.

WELL, GET ME SOMETHING
TO CATCH THE WATER IN.

GOT IT!

HERE.

GREAT! BUT IT'S FILLING UP FAST.

GET ME SOMETHING BIGGER.

GOT IT!

THIS IS WORTH MORE
THAN $2.50 AN HOUR.

HERE'S A BIG BOWL.

IT'S FULL OF POPCORN.

STEPHANIE, JUST THROW IT AWAY.

HERE.

NOW WHAT?

JUST GET RID OF THE WATER.

I DID IT.

YOU DID NOTHING. WHAT
ARE WE GOING TO DO?

LET'S GET INTO
OUR BATHING SUITS.

DANNY, YOUR WATER
PRESSURE'S A LITTLE LOW.

THAT SHOULD BE MY ONLY PROBLEM.

THANKS.

HI.

HI... I'LL BE IN
THE LIVING ROOM.

JESS, IS THERE ANY WOMAN IN
THIS CITY YOU HAVEN'T DATED?

DENISE CAME HERE TONIGHT

BECAUSE YOU SHARED
A MAGICAL MOMENT

IN THE PRODUCE DEPARTMENT.

YOU REALLY THINK SO?

YES, OF COURSE. SHE
BROUGHT YOU A BOUQUET.

NO WOMAN'S EVER
BROUGHT ME BROCCOLI.

NOW, GO TURN ON
THAT VEGETABLE CHARM.

GET 'EM, CHAMP.

CHERYL, CAN I HELP YOU
WITH THOSE GLASSES?

DENISE IS MY BEST FRIEND.

SORRY, I WAS OUT
OF LINE FOR ASKING.

LISTEN, DENISE...

I... I KNOW THIS MUST
BE KIND OF AWKWARD,

WITH JESSE AND ALL.

IT IS FOR ME.

DANNY, I'M SO SORRY.

I'M NOT BEING FAIR.

I'LL JUST PUT JESSE
OUT OF MY MIND.

I CAME TONIGHT BECAUSE YOU
WERE SWEET AND CHARMING.

AND NOW?

I STILL THINK YOU'RE
SWEET AND CHARMING.

THAT IS SO SWEET...
AND... AND CHARMING...

OF YOU TO SAY THAT I'M
SWEET AND CHARMING.

DANNY... OOH!

WHAT?

I... I CUT MY LIP
ON YOUR EARRING.

DANNY, I'M SO SORRY.

I JUST CAN'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT JESSE.

IT'S OK. IT'S MY FAULT.

I HAVE BAD EYE-TO-LIP
COORDINATION.

EXCUSE ME.

I'M GOING TO GO INTO
THE KITCHEN AND CLOT.

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

HOW DID IT GO?

I CUT MY LIP KISSING DENISE.

THAT GIRL'S A WILD ANIMAL.

I MISSED HER LIPS AND
KISSED HER EARRING.

JESS, SHE'S STILL
HUNG UP ON YOU.

I'M SORRY, DANNY.

IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER,

MY DATE HATES MY GUTS.

I PROMISE YOU... NEXT
TIME, IT'S SMOOTH SAILING.

CAN'T SAIL WITHOUT WATER.

SWITCH!

HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?

MY FINGERS LOOK LIKE RAISINS.

WHOA! WHOA!

UH, DAD, EVERYTHING
IS UNDER CONTROL.

UNDER CONTROL?
EVERYTHING'S UNDER WATER!

AAH.

YAY! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

JUST TURNED THE
WATER VALVE OFF, GIRLS.

LET'S REMEMBER
THAT FOR NEXT TIME.

YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING
TOO MUCH DOUBLE DARE.

DON'T LOOK AT ME.

SHE'S THE BABYSITTER.

DAD, I'M REALLY SORRY.

I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED YOUR
WEDDING RING DOWN THE DRAIN.

MY WEDDING RING.

ALL RIGHT. EVERYBODY
OUT OF THE POOL.

EXCUSE ME. I NEED A MINUTE
ALONE WITH MY DAUGHTER.

I'M GOING TO TUCK MYSELF IN

AND GET A FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP.

I'M THE GOOD DAUGHTER.

I'LL SEE TO MICHELLE.

SHE'S PROBABLY WET, TOO.

LET ME HELP. I LOVE BABIES.

JESSE, COULD I TALK
TO YOU A MINUTE?

UH. EXCUSE ME.

MAYBE THIS IS HAPPENING

SO WE COULD HAVE
A SECOND CHANCE.

YOU KNOW, DANNY
REALLY LIKES YOU.

JESSE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DIDN'T FEEL ANYTHING

WHEN YOU SAW ME TONIGHT.

TIMING'S OFF BETWEEN US.

IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT
WITH YOU TWO, THAT'S OK,

BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BE THE REASON.

I UNDERSTAND.

IT JUST WASN'T MEANT TO BE.

BUT I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION.

OH, YEAH, WHAT'S THAT?

WHY ARE YOU LIVING IN A ROOM

WITH SO MANY PINK BUNNIES?

WELL, I STARTED OFF
WITH TWO, THEN IT...

ANIMAL, ISN'T MICHELLE CUTE?

OKEY-DOKEY, KERMIT.

HOW ADORABLE.

HEAR THAT, MICHELLE? SHE
THINKS YOU'RE ADORABLE.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU.

HEAR THAT, MICHELLE?
SHE THINKS I'M ADORABLE.

PRETTY.

YES, SHE'S VERY PRETTY.

I FELT SO BAD ABOUT
LOSING YOUR RING.

I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE COME
TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE,

BUT I PANICKED.

I LEARNED A GOOD
LESSON IN RESPONSIBILITY.

WELL, OK. DON'T
LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.

WAIT A MINUTE.

DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN?

THAT'S THE WORST DAD
SPEECH I'VE EVER HEARD.

I'M SORRY, DEEJ.

NOT THAT YOU DON'T
DESERVE A GOOD DAD SPEECH.

I'VE JUST HAD A HORRIBLE NIGHT.

DENISE AND I DIDN'T HIT IT OFF.

I'M JUST NOT THE DATING TYPE.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU'RE TALL, AND YOU'RE SMART,

AND YOU'RE HANDSOME.

DAD, YOU'RE A FOX.

IF SOME GIRL'S TOO
DUMB TO SEE THAT,

YOU DON'T WANT HER ANYWAY.

THANKS, DEEJ.

THAT'S THE BEST DAUGHTER
SPEECH I'VE EVER HEARD.

I FOUND YOUR RING.

OH, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

WELL, GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

OH, BY THE WAY, ABOUT
MY BABY-SITTING MONEY...

FORGET THE TIP.

THANK YOU. THIS
MEANS A LOT TO ME.

WHERE WAS IT?

IT WAS ON THE FLOOR.

I WENT IN TO CLEAN UP.

I CAN'T STAND MESSY BATHROOMS.

REALLY!

I LOVE THAT IN A WOMAN.

DANNY, THANKS
FOR A NICE EVENING.

YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

I HAD A GOOD TIME.

NICE MEETING YOU.

NICE MEETING YOU, TOO.

BYE-BYE.

I'M GLAD YOU AND I

GOT TO SAY GOODBYE AS FRIENDS.

ME, TOO, JESSE. THANKS.

I REALLY ENJOYED MEETING YOU.

SAME HERE. YOU ARE A LOT OF FUN.

YOU'RE A LOT OF FUN, TOO.

REMEMBER... ALWAYS
PRESOAK YOUR FINE WASHABLES.

IN TEPID WATER.

HAVE MERCY.

CALL ME.

CALL ME, TOO.

OK.

JESSE... DON'T CALL ME.

AND YOU GUYS WERE WORRIED

BLIND DATES WOULDN'T WORK OUT.

THE NIGHT TURNED OUT GREAT.

BATHROOM'S STILL A MESS.

I'LL HANDLE IT, BOYS.

I'M FEELING SO GOOD,

I MIGHT CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE.

♪ TO ALL THE GIRLS
I'VE LOVED BEFORE... ♪♪

WELL, JESS, I GOT TO
GO CATCH THAT GIRL.

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