Full House (1987–1995): Season 1, Episode 21 - Mad Money - full transcript

Joey's mother gives him an old savings bond. He tries to pay Danny back an eleven-year-old loan, but Danny refuses. Meanwhile, Jesse has a gig as an Elvis impersonator.

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪

♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪

♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪

♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪

♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪

♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪

♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪

♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪



♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪

♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪

♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪

READY WHENEVER YOU ARE, STEPH.



PRACTICE YOUR SHOW AND TELL.

HI, BOYS AND GIRLS. MY
NAME IS STEPHANIE TANNER.

FOR SHOW AND TELL TODAY, I BROUGHT
SOMETHING CUDDLY, CUTE, AND ADORABLE.

MAY I PRESENT...
MAY I PRESENT...

MY LITTLE BABY SISTER
MICHELLE TANNER.

MICHELLE IS A BABY.

HER HOBBIES ARE
DROOLING AND BABBLING.

UNDER HERE IS HER DIAPER,

WHICH I'M NOT ALLOWED TO CHANGE,

BUT I'VE SEEN PEOPLE
DO IT, AND IT'S GROSS.

ANY QUESTIONS?

YES, LITTLE GIRL?

DOES MICHELLE HAVE A BIG
SISTER WHO'S REALLY COOL?

YES, SHE DOES. ME.

THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

STEPH, IF I HAD A GOLD STAR,

I WOULD STICK IT RIGHT
TO YOUR FOREHEAD.

JESSE.

HI, GUYS.

BYE, GUYS.

WAIT A MINUTE.

JESS, FOR THE PAST 5 DAYS,

YOU'VE BEEN SNEAKING
IN AND OUT OF HERE

CARRYING THAT BLUE BAG,

WITH NOT ONE WORD
OF EXPLANATION.

UNCLE JESSE, IT'S
DRIVING ME CRAZY.

JUST ANSWER ONE QUESTION.

WHERE DO YOU GO WITH THAT BAG?

OUT.

OUT WHERE?

OUTSIDE. AND THAT'S 2 QUESTIONS.

GOOD-BYE.

HELLO.

I LOVE EVERYONE.

I LOVE YOU AND YOU AND
YOU AND YOU AND YOU.

I LOVE YOU AND YOU AND YOU.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

NOTHING. I GOT A
CALL FROM MY MOM.

SHE FOUND AN OLD SAVINGS BOND
OF MINE IN HER SAFE DEPOSIT BOX,

AND I NOW HAVE 5,000
FOUNDING FATHERS.

YES!

ALL RIGHT! GREAT!

YEAH! PRESENTS FOR EVERYBODY.

DANNY, GET MICHELLE.

ALL RIGHT.

OK, YOU'RE FIRST, MY
LITTLE TODDLERETTE.

HERE YOU GO! A LITTLE
BABY LAWN MOWER.

OH, MOW YOURSELF SILLY.

NOW, IF YOU'RE REAL GOOD,

NEXT YEAR YOU GET THE
LITTLE BABY WEED WHACKER.

OK, D.J., YOU'RE NEXT.

I'M AFRAID ALL I HAVE FOR YOU

IS 2 BRIGHTLY COLORED
PIECES OF PAPER.

THANKS.

OH, THANKS! THIS IS SO RAD!

SPRINGSTEEN TICKETS! YEAH...

HEY, GOOD SEATS.

NEED A DATE?

MAYBE.

WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG?

NICE TRY.

ME NEXT! ME NEXT!

WELL, I'M SORRY, STEPHANIE,

BUT ALL I HAVE FOR YOU

IS A BRAND-NEW BICYCLE!

AAH!

JOEY, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

YES, HE SHOULD.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

WAIT, STEPH. NO
RIDING IN THE HOUSE.

HOLD ON. STEPH!

COME ON, STEPH, WE'LL
TRY IT OUT IN THE BACK YARD.

I CAN'T STOP! OPEN THE DOOR.

YOU GOT PRESENTS COMING, TOO.

ALL RIGHT!

THANK YOU. I'M
THROUGH WITH THAT.

DAN, I HOPE JOEY GETS
ME A NEW MOTORCYCLE.

THAT'S BE COOL, HUH?

I KNOW WHAT JOEY'S GETTING ME...

$800 IN CASH.

WHOA, NICE CHUNK OF CHANGE. WHY?

WELL, 11 YEARS AGO,
I LOANED JOEY $800

TO FIX HIS CAR.

HE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO
PAY ME BACK UNTIL NOW.

BETTER GET IT FAST.

I DON'T WANT JOEY'S MONEY.

THAT FACT THAT HE'S
FINALLY PAYING ME BACK

IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
AND TOUCHING GESTURE.

THAT'S WHY I'M GOING
TO GIVE THE $800 BACK.

AW, THAT'S THE MOST
GENEROUS, STUPID THING

I'VE HEARD IN MY LIFE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT'S IN THE BAG.

OHH!

NO!

I SHOULDN'T DO IT,
SHOULD I, MICHELLE?

WHAT IF...

LOOK, MICHELLE.

I'VE GOT A COOKIE.

YEAH, YOU WANT THE COOKIE?

THEY'RE YUMMY.

WANT SOME COOKIE?

YEAH.

COME GET THE YUMMY COOKIE.

OOPS! THE COOKIE
ACCIDENTALLY JUMPED

INTO THE BAG.

GO FIND IT!

UNZIP THE BAG, MICHELLE.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THERE.

NEVER MIND THE COOKIE.
GET THE ZIPPER OPEN.

LET'S SEE WHAT UNCLE
JESSE'S HIDING IN THERE.

YOU FOUND IT!

MAY I HELP YOU?

SHE DID IT.

SHAME ON YOU, MICHELLE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GROW UP

AND BE A NOSY BUSYBODY, DO YOU?

YOUR PUNISHMENT IS
TO GIVE ME ONE KISS.

THANKS FOR TRYING, MICHELLE.

YOU GUYS READY
FOR YOUR PRESENTS?

YEAH. YEAH.

I'VE BEEN READY FOR 11 YEARS.

HERE YOU GO.

JESS AND DANNY.

THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT!

A PASS TO THE GREAT
AMERICAN AMUSEMENT PARK.

A LIFETIME PASS.

DANNY, OPEN YOURS.

ACTUALLY, I KINDA HAVE A
HUNCH WHAT YOU GOT ME.

A LIFETIME PASS TO THE GREAT
AMERICAN AMUSEMENT PARK?

HEY, WE CAN DOUBLE.

SEE YOU, GUYS.

SEE YOU.

WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE
PINBALL MACHINE I BOUGHT.

YOU BOUGHT A PINBALL MACHINE?

A GENUINE 1964 GUMBY
AND POKEY PINBALL MACHINE.

AND THE BEAUTY PART ABOUT IT,

I PICKED IT UP FOR
A MERE 1,275 BUCKS.

JOEY, THIS IS WHY
YOU'RE ALWAYS BROKE.

EVERY TIME YOU HAVE
A NICKEL, YOU BLOW IT.

HEY, COME ON, LIGHTEN UP. PBBBT!

WAIT A MINUTE. HAVE
YOU EVER CONSIDERED

DOING SOMETHING WITH YOUR MONEY

BESIDES JUST THROWING IT AWAY?

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE PUTTING IT IN
A SAVINGS ACCOUNT,

OR BUYING A "T" BILL,

PAYING OFF OLD
DEBTS, INVESTING...

WAIT. HOLD ON.

BACK UP. YOU SAID OLD DEBTS.

I DON'T HAVE ANY OLD
DEBTS. BE SERIOUS!

WHO'D BE STUPID ENOUGH
TO LEND ME MONEY?

ME.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

WHEN DID I EVER BORROW
MONEY FROM YOU?

PALM SPRINGS. MARCH 12, 1977.

YOUR CAR BLOWS UP AGAIN.

AS USUAL, YOU'RE BROKE,

SO I LOAN YOU MY LAST $800.

OH, MY GOD. DANNY, I
COMPLETELY FORGOT.

WHY DID YOU WAIT 11
YEARS TO SAY SOMETHING?

I WAS GOING TO GIVE
YOU 2 MORE YEARS.

DANNY, LOOK. HERE.

TAKE THE MONEY
BACK, WITH INTEREST.

TAKE THE WHOLE BALL.

I DON'T WANT IT. I JUST WANTED
YOU TO OFFER TO PAY IT BACK.

SURE. THAT'S WHY YOU
BROUGHT UP PAYING OFF DEBTS.

I WANT YOU TO INVEST IT.

I'M INVESTING IT IN
GETTING YOU OFF MY BACK.

OFF YOUR BACK?

YES.

I DON'T WANT IT.

HI-YAH!

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL AUDIENCE.

UNCLE JESSE.

HOLD YOUR HORSES, MAMA.

UH, I MEAN, HOLD ON.

I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

HOLD ON, PLEASE.
PLEASE, HOLD ON.

COME IN.

WANT TO COME SEE ME
DO MY SHOW AND TELL?

GIRLS, I'M VERY
BUSY. MAY I HELP YOU?

JESSE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU ABOUT...

JESSE?

YES?

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR ROBE?

YOU'RE ENTITLED TO KNOW A
LOT OF THINGS ABOUT MY LIFE,

BUT WHAT A MAN HAS UNDER
HIS ROBE IS HIS BUSINESS.

DON'T BE CRUEL.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WHAT A MAN HAS UNDER HIS
ROBE IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

THIS IS SO COOL. I SHOULD HAVE
LOOKED IN THAT BAG SOONER.

ALL RIGHT. SIT DOWN.

I'M DOING THIS
TRIBUTE TO THE KING.

THE SHOW IS CALLED
ROCK & ROLL HEAVEN.

I'M SAVING UP MONEY
FOR MY NEW SONGS.

I WANT TO MAKE SOME NEW DEMOS.

IT'S ONLY FOR A WEEK.
TONIGHT'S THE LAST NIGHT.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?

I THINK OF MYSELF

AS HAVING MY OWN
MUSICAL IDENTITY.

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M UP THERE, YOU KNOW.
I'M SHAKING, I'M WIGGLING.

I GOT TO SEE THIS SHOW.

ME, TOO.

LET'S GO!

I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA,
YOU GUYS COMING DOWN THERE.

JESSE, WE JUST WANT TO
GO THERE TO CHEER YOU ON.

DON'T WORRY. I PROMISE NOBODY'S
GOING TO MAKE FUN OF YOU.

HEY, DANNY, UH...

♪ TIME ROLLS ONE ♪

♪ AND YOUTH IS GONE ♪

♪ AND YOU CAN'T STRAIGHT
UP WHEN YOU BEND... ♪

DON'T FORGET... WE'RE NOT
GONNA FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS.

I'M SURE IF I FORGET, YOU'LL
REMIND ME... 11 YEARS LATER.

♪ TIFFANY'S... ♪

CHECK IT OUT, A
MADONNA LOOKALIKE.

NO, THAT'S MARILYN MONROE.

REALLY?

BOY, DID SHE RIP OFF MADONNA.

♪ I DON'T MEAN RHINESTONES ♪

♪ BUT DIAMONDS ♪

♪ ARE A GIRL'S BEST
FR... BEST FRIEND ♪

THANKS, MARILYN. GREAT STUFF.

AND NOW ROCK & ROLL
HEAVEN PRESENTS...

THE KING OF ROCK 'N' ROLL!

THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL AUDIENCE.

I'LL START WITH ONE OF
MY BIGGEST RECORDS.

IT'S ABOUT THIS BIG.

[WOLF WHISTLE]

THANK YOU, SIR.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ALL RIGHT, HIT IT, FELLAS.

♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪

♪ I FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL ♪

♪ IT'S DOWN AT THE
END OF LONELY STREET ♪

♪ AT HEARTBREAK HOTEL, YEAH ♪

♪ I GET SO LONELY, BABY ♪

♪ I GET SO LONELY ♪

♪ I GET SO LONELY I COULD DIE ♪

♪ DIE ♪

YEAH!

♪ BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH ♪

♪ WE'RE CAUGHT IN A TRAP ♪

♪ I CAN'T WALK OUT ♪

♪ BECAUSE MY PANTS
MIGHT RIP OFF, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ WE CAN'T GO ON TOGETHER ♪

♪ WITH SUSPICIOUS MINDS ♪

♪ SUSPICIOUS MINDS ♪

♪ AND WE CAN'T
BUILD OUR DREAMS ♪

♪ ON SUSPICIOUS MINDS ♪

♪ WE'RE CAUGHT IN A... ♪

♪ I CAN'T WALK OUT ♪

♪ BECAUSE I LOVE
YOU TOO MUCH, BABY ♪

♪ HUSH, LITTLE BABY,
DON'T YOU CRY ♪

♪ YOU KNOW YOUR DADDY ♪

♪ YOUR DADDY'S BOUND TO DIE ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ BUT ALL ♪

♪ ALL MY TRIALS, LORD ♪

♪ WILL SOON BE OVER ♪

[APPLAUSE]

♪ GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH ♪

♪ HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON ♪

♪ HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON ♪

JESSE WAS GREAT.

GIRLS, WASN'T UNCLE JESSE GREAT?

♪ SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪

♪ WELL, I FOUND A
NEW PLACE TO DWELL ♪

♪ DOWN AT THE END
OF LONELY STREET ♪

♪ AT HEARTBREAK HOTEL ♪

♪ I GET SO LONELY, BABY ♪

♪ I GET SO LONELY ♪

♪ I GET SO LONELY I COULD DIE ♪♪

HA! HA!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL AUDIENCE.

OK. IT'S TIME FOR ALL JUNIOR
ELVI TO SAY GOOD NIGHT.

YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL AUDIENCE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ELVIS HAS LEFT THE LIVING ROOM.

AREN'T THEY CUTE?

THEY'RE ADORABLE.

ADORABLY CUTE. TAKE YOUR MONEY.

WILL YOU STOP IT, JOEY?

TAKE THE MONEY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL
DOING THIS. KNOCK IT OFF.

HELLO, BOYS.

HI.

HELLO. HELLO.

GUYS, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET...

I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR REAL NAME.

MARILYN.

THERE'S A COINCIDENCE FOR YOU.

MARILYN, THIS IS LARRY, MOE,
AND THE LITTLE ONE'S CURLY.

THE SHOW OFFERED
ME THE ELVIS JOB

FOR AS LONG AS I WANT

OR UNTIL I DISLOCATE MY HIPS.

HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.

GREAT.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M
GOING TO DO, THOUGH, GUYS.

MARILYN, DOESN'T IT GET TO YOU

PRETENDING TO BE MARILYN MONROE?

PRETENDING? I AM
MARILYN MONROE, SILLY.

YEAH.

FINE.

SURE.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
US, MISS MONROE,

WE HAVE TO PUT THE BABY TO BED.

BY THE WAY, I LOVED YOUR
WORK IN SOME LIKE IT HOT.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY,
BUT... I'VE GOT TO GO NOW.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR
STOPPING BY, MARILYN.

HEY, ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME?

YES, MARILYN.

OK. IT'S IN THE BOOK.

UNDER M-O-N R-O-E.

THAT'S M-R-N-O-E-O-E?

WILL YOU STOP BOTHERING ME?

I AM TRYING TO MAKE A SANDWICH.

I NEED A KNIFE.

KNIFE, KN... AH! KNIFE.

JOEY, ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE

HOW A MATURE ADULT
CONSTRUCTS A SANDWICH.

OK. GO FOR IT, MR. ADULT.

FIRST, MY FRIEND, WE
START WITH A CLEAN KNIFE.

TAKE 2 SLICES OF BREAD.

ON THE LEFT SLICE,
MAYONNAISE. MMM.

ON THE RIGHT SLICE, MUSTARD.

I'LL BET YOU GET ANOTHER KNIFE.

HAVE TO.

ANOTHER CLEAN KNIFE.

AND THEN THE MUSTARD,
WE PAINT IT ON. MMM.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR
THE HAM AND CHEESE,

AND WE ALTERNATE HAM,
CHEESE, HAM, CHEESE,

SO IN EVERY BITE,

WE HAVE AN EQUAL
AMOUNT OF HAM AND CHEESE.

YOU DON'T NEED THERAPY, DO YOU?

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?

I KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT.

I KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT?

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

IT MEANS THAT YOU ARE

THE MOST PREDICTABLE PERSON
ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH.

I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE
GONNA SAY BEFORE YOU SAY IT.

OH, DO YOU? OH, DO YOU?

SEE? YOU ARE SO
PAINT-BY-THE-NUMBERS

THAT IF THE SLIGHTEST
THING FALLS OUT OF PLACE,

YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.

WELL, LET'S JUST
SEE HOW TRUE IT IS.

[HUMMING]

LOOK AT THAT CRUMB.

IT'S DRIVING YOU NUTS, ISN'T IT?

DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

OH, NO, DOESN'T BOTHER YOU.

BUT WHAT IF... [GASP]

THERE'S 2 CRUMBS!

THEY'RE GETTING BIGGER
AND BIGGER AND BIGGER.

DON'T TOUCH THEM. THEY'RE ALIVE!

THIS PLACE IS A PIGSTY.

OINK! OINK!

OH, SURE. SURE, MAKE JOKES,

BECAUSE EVERYTHING
IS A JOKE TO YOU,

MR. COMEDIAN.

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU
ONLY GO AROUND ONCE.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET
ALL THE SMILES IN YOU CAN.

SMILES ARE GREAT,

BUT YOU'RE ALMOST 30, AND
YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS.

IT'S LIKE LIVING WITH
PEE-WEE HERMAN.

[AS PEE-WEE] WELL, STICKS AND
STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES,

BUT NAMES WILL
NEVER HURT ME. HA HA!

AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!

JOEY!

JOEY...

TAKE THIS.

AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!

YOU'RE SUCH A BABY.

I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?

OK. LET'S SETTLE
THIS LIKE WE USED TO.

ARM WRESTLING. ARM WRESTLING.

SEE? I KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU'RE GONNA SAY.

FINE. WHOEVER
LOSES KEEPS THE $800.

SOUNDS FAIR TO ME.

OK.

1... 2... 3.1... 2... 3.

I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER
THE LAST TIME WE DID THIS.

JUNE 22, 1979.

WHY DO YOU REMEMBER THIS STUFF?

I DON'T WANT THE MONEY BACK.

GUYS.

STOP IT.

GUYS, HOLD IT!

THERE'S SOMETHING A
LITTLE MORE IMPORTANT

THAN WHAT YOU'RE
ARGUING ABOUT. ME.

FELLAS, I'M CONFUSED.

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER OR
NOT TO TAKE THIS ELVIS GIG.

I THINK I SHOULD CONCENTRATE
ON MY OWN MUSIC, DON'T YOU?

I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE THE JOB.

YOU NEED THE MONEY
FOR YOUR DEMO TAPE.

THE ONLY REASON YOU
SHOULD LISTEN TO HIM

IS IF YOU LOST A MITTEN
WHEN YOU WERE 4.

AS FOR THE JOB, I
SAW YOU TONIGHT.

YOU WERE SINGING SONGS YOU LOVE,

JUST HAVING A BLAST.

THAT'S WHY YOU
SHOULD DO IT... FOR FUN.

HE NEEDS THE MONEY!

FOR FUN. FOR MONEY!

FOR FUN!

FOR FUN AND MONEY.

THANK YOU, GUYS.
THAT'S GOOD ADVICE.

I'M GOING TO TAKE
THE JOB. THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME. YOU'RE WELCOME.

DON'T SAY YOU'RE WELCOME.
DON'T SAY YOU'RE WELCOME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D
DO WITHOUT YOU GUYS,

BUT I'M GONNA LOOK INTO IT.

THAT WAS GOOD
ADVICE YOU GAVE JESSE.

THANKS. I THOUGHT
YOURS WAS GREAT, TOO.

I THINK WE HELPED HIM.

YES. THAT'S 'CAUSE
WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM.

I GUESS THAT'S WHY
WE'VE STAYED FRIENDS

FOR 19 YEARS... 4
MONTHS, AND 3 DAYS...

BECAUSE MAYBE
I'M A LITTLE SQUARE.

AND I'M A LITTLE GOOFY.

KNOW WHAT?

BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,

WE MAKE ONE HELL OF A GUY.

WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN
THERE FOR EACH OTHER.

YOU WERE THERE WHEN
I NEEDED THAT $800.

YOU WERE THERE WHEN
I NEEDED SOMEBODY

TO HELP ME TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS.

I CAN NEVER REPAY YOU FOR THAT.

YOU NEVER NEED TO.

DANNY, LOOK, A DEBT IS A DEBT.

I JUST WANT TO CLEAR OURS UP,
SO HERE. PLEASE TAKE THE MONEY.

OK. THANK YOU.

BUT I'M BUYING
YOU A SAVINGS BOND

AND A CLOSET ORGANIZER.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

IT'S MY MONEY NOW.
MAKE YOUR BED.

NO!

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.