Full House (1987–1995): Season 1, Episode 19 - The Seven-Month Itch: Part 1 - full transcript
Jesse is fed up with his lack of privacy and family responsibilities, especially when they interfere with his love life.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
SAMANTHA, I PROMISE,
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE
MOST ROMANTIC WEEKEND
OF YOUR LIFE.
WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE
CHATEAUBRIAND,
A LITTLE DOM PERIGNON.
YES, AND FOR DESSERT...
AN EMPTY HOUSE. HA HA HA HA.
THE FAMILY'S GOING
AWAY TO DISNEYLAND. YEAH.
2 POINTS.
THEY'RE LEAVING IN 3 MINUTES.
IF YOU LEAVE NOW,
MAKE ALL THE LIGHTS,
YOU'LL BE HERE IN 4 MINUTES.
2 MINUTES AFTER THAT,
YOU AND I'LL BE IN
EACH OTHER'S ARMS,
GAZING INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES,
DOING A LITTLE
THING I LIKE TO CALL...
UNCLE JESSE!
THE HOKEY-POKEY.
BYE, AUNT IRENE.
WHAT IS IT, KID?
I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!
ALL RIGHT!
DISNEYLAND! DISNEYLAND!
COME ON, EVERYBODY!
WE'RE GONNA BE
LATE FOR DISNEYLAND!
DISNEYLAND,
DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND!
STEPHANIE! HOLD IT!
ALL RIGHT, TAKE A DEEP
BREATH. NOW RELAX.
INHALE, EXHALE...
VERY GOOD. YOU OK?
I'M FINE. GOOD.
DISNEYLAND,
DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND!
WHY AREN'T WE AT DISNEYLAND?
STEPH, STEPH. CALM DOWN.
DISNEYLAND,
DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND!
LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
YOU NEED TO SWITCH
THE KID TO DECAF.
THE PLANE WON'T
LEAVE ANY EARLIER
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE
THE FIRST ONES ON IT.
IF WE'RE THE FIRST ONES ON,
WE'LL BE THE FIRST ONES OFF
AND BE FIRST IN LINE
FOR THE MATTERHORN.
MATTERHORN?
♪ DE WE GOTTOGO HOOHOO ♪
♪ LELELELE HEEHEE ♪♪
D.J., TELL ME AGAIN
HOW IT'S GOING TO BE.
DISNEYLAND HAS
THE GREATEST RIDES.
WHILE YOU'RE STANDING IN LINE,
MICKEY AND MINNIE
MOUSE PLAY WITH YOU.
NO! WHY ARE WE YAKKING?
WE COULD BE THERE!
COME ON, LET'S GO.
JOEY, OPEN THE DOOR
BEFORE SHE GOES THROUGH IT.
YEAH. STEPHANIE'S RIGHT.
TINKERBELL'S WAITING.
LET'S SKEDADDLE. LET'S GO.
YEAH. LET'S SKEDADDLE.
RIGHT. HERE WE
GO. WE'RE LEAVING.
I'M GOING.
JESSE, YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANT TO COME?
ARE YOU KIDDING? NO, NO, NO!
WHO'S GOING TO PICK UP THE MAIL,
GET THE NEWSPAPER, FEED THE DOG?
UH, JESS. WE DON'T HAVE A DOG.
WELL, JUST BECAUSE
IT'S NOT OUR DOG
DOESN'T MEAN WE
SHOULDN'T FEED HIM.
UNCLE JESSE, I REALLY
WISH YOU WERE COMING,
BUT IF WE DON'T LEAVE SOON,
I'M GOING TO GO BANANAS!
SHE'S RIGHT.
ANY MINUTE, BAM. BANANAS.
LET'S GO.
♪ HEIGH-HO, HEIGH-HO ♪
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... ♪
THEY'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!
YEAH.
IT'S AMAZING.
YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING
TENNIS ALL YOUR LIFE.
I JUST STARTED TODAY,
AND I BEAT YOU 3
STRAIGHT SETS. THAT'S WILD!
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?
NOTHING. I'M JUST SMILING.
YOU'RE NOT JUST SMILING.
THAT'S A "YOU LET ME WIN" SMILE.
WELL... TELL ME YOU
DIDN'T LET ME WIN.
I DIDN'T LET YOU WIN.
OH. SHE LET ME WIN.
AWWW.
YOU TOUGH GUYS ARE SO CUTE.
"YOU TOUGH GUYS ARE SO CUTE."
MAN, THIS IS GREAT.
LISTEN... NOTHING.
SAMMY, DO YOU REALIZE THAT
WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT A MONTH,
AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME
WE'VE BEEN ALONE TOGETHER.
I KNOW. WITH ME LIVING
AT MY FOLKS' HOUSE...
AND ME LIVING AT PEE
WEE'S PLAYHOUSE...
BUT TONIGHT... YOU
AND I WILL PLAY HOUSE.
AH.
YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE
GOING TO CELEBRATE.
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU
THE MOST ROMANTIC
CANDLELIGHT DINNER
YOU'VE EVER HAD
IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
OOH. THAT SOUNDS PERFECT.
SO, WHAT WILL IT BE?
EXTRA CRISPY OR ORIGINAL RECIPE?
THAT'S CUTE.
I'M GOING TO GO TAKE A SHOWER,
AND I'LL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU.
HAVE MERCY!
IF YOU HEAR ME LAUGHING,
IT'S 'CAUSE I'M THINKING
OF YOUR BACKHAND.
LOOK OUT!
♪ I'M JUST A LOONY
LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT... ♪
♪ OOH, BABE ♪
♪ I'M A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK FOR... ♪
♪ I AM JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ I AM JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
TOO OBVIOUS.
♪ I AM JUST THAT WACKY,
CRAZY LOVE MACHINE ♪
SAMMY, BROUGHT
YOU SOME CHAMPAGNE.
JESSE.
CAN'T BLAME ME FOR TRYING.
THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME. I'LL SLIP INTO
MY EVENING ATTIRE NOW.
HA HA HA HA.
OK, LET'S GO.
COME ON, STEPH.
MISSING DISNEYLAND ISN'T
THE END OF THE WORLD.
AIRPLANES CAN'T
FLY WHEN IT'S FOGGY.
I HATE FOG.
BIRDS CAN FLY IN FOG.
WE SHOULD'VE TAKEN A BIRD.
STEPH, I PROMISE, WE'LL GO
TO DISNEYLAND ANOTHER TIME.
YEAH, I WAS MICHELLE'S
FIRST TIME, TOO.
LOOK HOW WELL SHE'S TAKING IT.
WHAT DOES SHE KNOW? SHE
PUTS HER FOOD UP HER NOSE.
STEPH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
HERE'S A GREAT IDEA.
WE'LL MAKE TONIGHT
FAMILY FUN NIGHT
RIGHT HERE AT HOME.
WHAT COULD BE
MORE FUN THAN THAT?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. SOMETHING
THAT'S STARTS WITH A "D"
AND ENDS WITH A "LAND."
THESE DISAPPOINTMENTS
ARE REALLY TOUGH
ON A 6-YEAR-OLD.
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
WE MISSED CAPTAIN EO.
♪ I AM JUST AN L. M. ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
♪ BABY ♪
♪ I'M JUST A LOVE... ♪
[HUMMING]
STEPH, WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO TONIGHT?
MOPE.
I'LL DROP OFF THE KID.
I'LL LET JESSE KNOW WE'RE BACK.
JESSE, WE GOT FOGGED IN.
WE'RE BACK.
WHAT DID YOU SAY, JESS?
HEY, JESS.
YOU WEAR THESE CLOTHES
EVERY TIME WE LEAVE THE HOUSE?
HAVE MERCY.
YOU'RE NOT JESSE.
NEITHER ARE YOU.
I'M SAMANTHA.
I'M ME... UH, DANNY.
THAT'S, UH, SHORT FOR DANIEL.
IT'S LONG FOR DAN.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET DRESSED.
NOT IN THERE. YOUR
CLOTHES WOULD GET WET.
EXCUSE ME.
DOOR USED TO BE OVER THERE.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
IMAGINE MY SURPRISE.
IMAGINE IF YOU CAME IN
AND SAW ME IN THE SHOWER.
THEN YOU'D REALLY
BE SORRY. TRUST ME.
OH, UH, THERE'S SHAMPOO
AND CONDITIONER IN THERE,
AND THERE'S SOME
WOOLITE ON THE SHELF
IN CASE YOU WANT TO
SOAK A FINE WASHABLE.
THANK YOU.
WHOO!
JESSE!
JESSE!
OH, NO. IT COULDN'T BE.
COULD IT?
WOW! LOOK AT ALL THE FOOD.
OH, YUM.
STEPH, THIS IS GREAT.
LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO DINNERLAND.
[IMITATES CARNIVAL MUSIC]
OH, IT'S DINNERLAND.
THERE'S LOTS OF FUN HERE.
OH, I LOVE IT HERE
AT DINNERLAND.
OH, SHRIMP.
OH, YUM YUM YUM
YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM.
[BELCH]
♪ I AM JUST A LOVE... ♪
AAH.
HEY, JESS. HOW'S IT GOING?
LET GO OF MY SHRIMP!
PUT DOWN MY SH...
WHY AREN'T YOU
GUYS AT DISNEYLAND?
FOG, FOG, FOG.
I HATE FOG.
JESSE, JUST I MET YOUR FRIEND.
SHE'S VERY... CLEAN.
SURE HOPE WE DIDN'T
RUIN YOUR WEEKEND.
OH, NO. WHY WOULD
YOU THINK THAT?
JUST BECAUSE I'VE WAITED
A MONTH TO BE WITH SAM.
I'VE WAITED 5 1/2 YEARS
TO GO TO DISNEYLAND.
I HATE FOG.
I REALLY HATE FOG.
OK! ARE WE READY
FOR FAMILY FUN NIGHT?
ALL RIGHT!
HOT DOG.
HOT DOG.
I KNOW! LET'S SING YOUR
FAVORITE ONE FROM SCHOOL.
I GOT IT ALL PLANNED.
JESSE, YOU PLAY THE GUITAR.
D.J., YOU PLAY THE TAMBOURINE.
JESS, DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS?
YEAH, THAT WAS ON MOTLEY CRUE'S
FIRST CHRISTMAS ALBUM, RIGHT?
ON 3. EVERYBODY! 1, 2, 3!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
TAKE IT, STEPH!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ THEN YOUR SMILE
WILL SURELY SHOW IT ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
YAY! WASN'T THAT FESTIVE?
NEXT VERSE, ON 3! 1, 2, 3!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, STOMP YOUR FEET ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, STOMP YOUR FEET ♪
[AS POPEYE] ♪ IF YOU'RE
HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ THEN YOUR SMILE
WILL SURELY SHOWS IT ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT... ♪
HMM. STOMPS YOUR FEET,
WOULD YA? AK, AK, AK, AK!
DO YOU GUYS HAVE THIS
MUCH FUN EVERY NIGHT?
YEAH, IT'S HARD
TO BELIEVE, ISN'T IT?
STEPH, ARE WE
HAVING A GOOD TIME?
IT'S NO COUNTRY BEAR JAMBOREE.
HONEY, IF YOU DON'T THINK
ABOUT... YOU KNOW WHERE,
IT'LL BE A LOT EASIER.
I KNOW! WE'LL SING ROW,
ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT.
WE'LL DO IT AS A
ROUND. IT'LL BE GREAT!
DAD, THAT'S DOPEY.
DOPEY! DON'T SAY THAT!
HONEY, LOOK, IT'S
BEEN A LONG DAY.
I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED,
YOU'RE WORN-OUT,
YOU'RE GRUMPY.
GRUMPY!
SORRY.
WHAT I MEANT WAS YOU'RE
PROBABLY VERY SLEE...
EXHAUSTED.
YOU WERE GOING TO SAY SLEEPY.
THANKS FOR TRYING,
BUT FAMILY FUN NIGHT'S
JUST NOT ANY FUN.
GUESS THAT KINDA PUTS
A DAMPER ON SIMON SAYS.
I'LL TALK TO HER.
HERE.
HERE. TAKE YOUR KID.
THANKS.
AHEM.
WHY DON'T WE GO INTO
THE KITCHEN SO THAT, UH...
SO THAT JESSE DOESN'T
HAVE TO MAKE THAT FACE.
YEAH.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
WE'RE FINALLY ALONE.
YOU KNOW, YOUR
FAMILY'S TERRIFIC.
I HAD A GREAT TIME TONIGHT.
BUT WE COULD'VE HAD
A REALLY GREAT TIME.
WELL, LET'S DO IT
TOMORROW NIGHT.
I KNOW THIS TERRIFIC
BED AND BREAKFAST PLACE
IN THE NAPA VALLEY.
THAT SOUNDS SO...
SO FRUSTRATING.
I PROMISED I'D BABYSIT THE
MUNCHKIN TOMORROW NIGHT.
WELL, ANOTHER TIME.
THEY'VE GOTTA GET THAT LITTLE
GIRL TO DISNEYLAND SOME DAY.
I'M GOING TO MISS YOU TONIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HERE'S 5 BUCKS.
GO CATCH A MOVIE.
STEPH, HOW YOU DOING?
I'VE BEEN BETTER.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
NO, YOU DON'T. YOU'VE
BEEN TO DISNEYLAND.
BUT I KNOW WHAT'S IT LIKE
NOT TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED
TO DO THAT CEREAL COMMERCIAL,
AND YOU GOT IT INSTEAD?
UH-HUH.
WHAT DID I DO? DID I MOPE?
NO. YOU CHASED ME
AROUND THE KITCHEN
AND TRIED TO KILL ME.
OK. BAD EXAMPLE.
WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE SURE WAY
TO MAKE YOU SMILE.
THE TICKLE MONSTER!
IT'S NOT WORKING.
HA HA!
THEN HOW COME YOU'RE LAUGHING?
THIS IS SAD LAUGHING.
STEPH, I'M GLAD
TO SEE YOU HAPPY.
THAT DIDN'T COUNT.
THE TICKLE MONSTER
MADE ME LAUGH.
STEPHANIE, YOU HAVE
EVERY REASON TO BE SAD,
AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.
THANK YOU.
STEPH, I WANT YOU TO
REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS.
YOU WON'T ALWAYS
GET YOUR OWN WAY.
WHILE YOU'RE
SPENDING ALL THIS TIME
BEING SAD ABOUT
MISSING ONE THING,
YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON A
LOT OF OTHER FUN THINGS,
LIKE OUR FAMILY SING-ALONG.
THAT WASN'T SO MUCH FUN.
IT WASN'T FUN FOR YOU
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T
WANT IT TO BE FUN.
I HAD FUN.
D.J. HAD FUN. RIGHT?
AH, IT WAS OK.
FUN. BIG FUN.
IT'S UP TO YOU. YOU CAN
FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF,
OR YOU CAN FEEL BAD FOR A WHILE
THEN SHAKE IT OFF AND MOVE
ON TO THE NEXT FUN THING.
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO
BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO
SMILE TOO MUCH. RIGHT?
I GUESS SO.
I KNOW SOMETHING FUN
WE CAN DO RIGHT NOW.
IT HAS TO DO WITH DAD
AND A CERTAIN MONSTER.
UH-OH.
"UH-OH" IS RIGHT.
HERE COMES THE TICKLE MONSTER!
TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ GO OVER THERE
AND LEAVE ME ALONE ♪
♪ COMB YOUR HAIR
RIGHT OVER THERE ♪
COME ON, STOP IT! ♪
CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
[CLAP, CLAP]
HEY, JESS, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I DON'T KNOW. EVERY
TIME I COME IN THIS ROOM,
IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S MORE
PINK BUNNIES ON THE WALL.
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW RABBITS ARE.
JOEY, SIT DOWN A SECOND.
SURE.
JOSEPH, CAN I TALK TO
YOU MAN TO... MAN TO YOU?
SURE, BUDDY. YOU
LOOK A LITTLE DOWN.
I'M SORRY IF WE WRECKED
YOUR NIGHT WITH SAMANTHA.
IT'S NOT JUST SAMANTHA, IT'S...
BE HONEST WITH ME.
DOESN'T LIVING HERE
GET TO YOU SOMETIMES?
NO.
NEVER?
NEVER. I LOVE IT.
YOU MEAN YOU LOVE
CHANGING DIAPERS,
MAKING LUNCHES, CHASING
THE GIRLS AROUND TOWN,
CHANGING DIAPERS, HELPING
THEM WITH HOMEWORK,
PICKING UP TOYS... DID I
MENTION CHANGING DIAPERS?
SOME OF THOSE TASKS ARE
MORE REWARDING THAN OTHERS.
WHY?
JOEY, WHY ARE YOU HAPPY HERE?
WELL, JESS, I THINK IT'S
BECAUSE WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,
I DIDN'T HAVE
BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
I LIKE BEING PART
OF A BIG FAMILY.
I LIKE HAVING PEOPLE
TO CARE ABOUT,
INCLUDING YOU.
THANK YOU.
BESIDES, THIS IS THE
ONLY PLACE I'VE LIVED
THAT ALWAYS HAS ICE
CREAM IN THE FREEZER.
PASS.
JOEY... DON'T YOU
EVER ASK YOURSELF,
"WHAT AM I DOING?"
I USED TO BE THIS FREEWHEELING,
LIVING ON THE EDGE,
NO STRINGS KIND OF GUY.
AND NOW...
IT SEEMS LIKE I'M
MARRIED OR SOMETHING.
I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR 3 KIDS,
YET I CAN'T EVEN DEDUCT
THEM FROM MY TAXES.
WELL, TECHNICALLY YOU COULD
IF YOU MARRIED DANNY.
JOEY, DO YOU REALIZE
EVERY NIGHT I SLEEP
HERE, I SLEEP ALONE?
WANT TO GET BUNK BEDS?
NO, I... I'M POURING
MY HEART OUT HERE,
AND YOU'RE MAKING JOKES.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY. TALK TO ME.
I... I DON'T KNOW, I...
I GUESS THIS WHOLE
SITUATION IS GETTING TO ME.
I HAVE ZERO PRIVACY.
I TRY TO WRITE MY MUSIC,
AND I HAVE ALL
THESE DISTRACTIONS.
I WRITE MUSIC OUT OF MY OWN
LIFE EXPERIENCES, YOU KNOW?
MY LAST 3 SONGS HAVE BEEN
ABOUT CHANGING DIAPERS,
THE MEASLES, AND TUB TOYS.
I THOUGHT THAT TUB TOY
SONG WAS VERY DANCEABLE.
I FEEL I HAVE THINGS TO
ACCOMPLISH IN MY LIFE.
THERE ARE THINGS I WANT TO DO,
THINGS I WANT TO
EXPERIENCE, AND...
I DON'T KNOW, BUT...
MAYBE LIVING HERE
IS HOLDING ME BACK.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENED TO MY LIFE,
BUT I GOT TO REGAIN
CONTROL OF IT.
HEY, JESS, LOOK
AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
IF YOU HADN'T MOVED IN,
WE'D NEVER BE AS
CLOSE AS WE ARE.
I KNOW.
HEY... SLEEP ON IT.
HEY.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
JESSE?
SAMANTHA?
JESSE?
SAMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE
HERE. EVERYBODY'S HOME.
UNCLE JESSE, WILL YOU
HELP WITH MY HOMEWORK?
D.J., IT'S THE MIDDLE OF NIGHT.
THE CLOSER I STUDY TO
MY TEST, THE LESS I FORGET.
UNCLE JESSE, WILL YOU
GIVE ME A PIGGYBACK RIDE?
UNCLE JESSE DOESN'T WANT TO.
YES, HE DOES.
NO, HE DOESN'T.
YES, HE DOES.
NO, HE DOESN'T.
YES, HE DOES.
UNCLE JESSE, CHANGE MY DIAPER.
YOU CAN'T TALK!
AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO HAVE GIRLS HERE.
GIRLS, YOU GOT TO GO.
EVERYONE OFF THE
BED. LET'S GO. COME ON.
GUYS, GREAT. TAKE OVER FOR ME.
IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY.
EVERYBODY OUT. EVERYBODY GO.
COME ON, LET'S
GO! GO, GO, GO, GO.
HOLD IT. YOU, YOU CAN STAY.
UNCLE JESSE?
HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK.
I WANT A PIGGYBACK RIDE.
JESSE?
IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY.
CHANGE ME.
FEED ME.
CHANGE ME.
FEED ME.
FEED ME.
CHANGE ME!
FEED ME!
CHANGE ME! FEED ME!
FEED ME! CHANGE ME!
OH, MY GOD. THERE'S
TWO MICHELLES.
THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!
CHANGE ME!
FEED ME!
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
YOUR TURN.
HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
SO HAPPY.
NO!
I WANT A PIGGYBACK RIDE.
HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK.
IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY.
CHANGE ME! FEED ME!
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
AAH!
OH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
JESS, WAKE UP! RISE AND SHINE!
LET'S GO! GET UP!
"GUYS...
"I DIDN'T WANT TO
WAKE ANYBODY UP,
"SO I LEFT THIS NOTE.
"I NEED TO GET AWAY FOR A WHILE.
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.
"I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK,
OR EVEN IF I WILL BE BACK."
"I DON'T THINK IT'S
WORKING OUT FOR ME HERE.
I'LL CALL SOON. TELL THE
GIRLS I LOVE THEM. JESSE."
JESSE RAN AWAY FROM HOME?
I'M HUNGRY.
WHERE'S UNCLE JESSE?
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
SAMMY, DO YOU REALIZE THAT
YOU AND I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT
A MONTH, AND THIS IS THE FIRST
TIME WE'VE BEEN ALONE TOGETHER?
I KNOW. WITH ME LIVING
AT MY FOLKS' HOUSE...
YEAH, ME LIVING AT
PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE...
SURE HOPE WE DIDN'T
RUIN YOUR WEEKEND, JESS.
OH, NO, WHY WOULD
YOU THINK THAT?
JUST BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
WAITING A MONTH TO BE WITH SAM.
I USED TO BE THIS FREE-WHEELING,
LIVING ON THE EDGE...
NO STRINGS KINDA GUY.
NOW... HA... NOW IT SEEMS
LIKE I'M MARRIED OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S
HAPPENED TO MY LIFE, PAL,
BUT I GOTTA REGAIN
CONTROL OF IT.
"I DON'T THINK IT'S
WORKING OUT FOR ME HERE.
I'LL CALL SOON."
JESSE RAN AWAY FROM HOME?
JESSE RAN AWAY FROM HOME?
I'M HUNGRY.
WHERE'S UNCLE JESSE?
GIRLS, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
US FOR A BRIEF MOMENT,
I HAVE TO TALK TO
JOEY PRIVATELY ABOUT...
THIS NOTE I WROTE MYSELF REMINDING
ME TO TALK TO JOEY PRIVATELY
ABOUT THIS NOTE THAT I WROTE.
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO SAY TO THE GIRLS?
JOEY... THIS IS A
DELICATE SITUATION.
IT'S A FATHER KIND OF MOMENT.
YOU BETTER LET ME HANDLE IT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
JUST PLAY DUMB.
HOW DO I DO THAT?
PERFECT.
OH, HI. YOU'RE BACK.
DID UNCLE JESSE GO SOMEWHERE?
GIRLS, YOUR FATHER
HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.
YOUR UNCLE JESSE
HAS GONE ON A LITTLE...
VACATION.
WHERE?
WHERE?
YOU SAW HIM LAST.
TELL THEM, JOEY.
OK... FATHER.
UH, GIRLS...
YOUR UNCLE JESSE
WENT ON VACATION...
TO THE DESERT.
"AND WHY?" YOU ASK.
BECAUSE HE LOVES THE HOT SAND,
AND HE LOVES THE BURNING SUN.
BOTTOM LINE...
YOUR UNCLE JESSE LOVES TO SWEAT.
I THOUGHT HE LOVED
GOING TO THE BEACH.
WELL... THE DESERT IS ALL BEACH.
OK. HERE WE GO.
YOUR FAVORITE STRAWBERRY
YOGURT BANANA PANCAKES,
JUST LIKE YOUR
UNCLE JESSE MAKES.
THESE AREN'T LIKE
UNCLE JESSE MAKES.
HIS AREN'T SOUPY IN THE MIDDLE.
MINE AREN'T SOUPY.
HERE, MICHELLE.
YOU'LL APPRECIATE MY COOKING.
THAT A GIRL.
TASTE IT, HONEY.
EVERYBODY'S A CRITIC.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I GOT IT.
GLADSTONE'S INTERNATIONAL
HOUSE OF FLAPJACKS.
GLADSTONE SPEAKING.
JESSE!
UNCLE JESSE! I
WANT TO TALK TO HIM.
WAIT A SECOND.
I'LL TALK TO HIM.
I'LL TALK TO ANYONE YOU
WANT. JUST MAKE A DECISION.
HOW THE HECK IS
THE DESERT, JESS?
WHAT DESERT?
I'M SKIING IN TAHOE.
LOOK, I'M HANGING
OUT WITH MY BUDDIES,
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHEN I'M COMING BACK.
IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY, I'LL
GIVE YOU THE NUMBER... 555-4322.
I GOT TO TELL UNCLE
JESSE SOMETHING.
I GOT TO TELL UNCLE
JESSE SOMETHING!
OK, HERE.
OH, NO.
I FORGOT WHAT I WAS
GOING TO TELL HIM.
OH, I REMEMBER. SILLY ME.
HI, UNCLE JESSE.
WHILE YOU'RE ON VACATION,
CAN I SLEEP IN YOUR
ROOM, WHICH WAS MY ROOM
BEFORE IT WAS YOUR ROOM?
THANKS, UNCLE JESSE.
EVERYBODY SAY BYE.
BYE. BYE. BYE.
BYE-BYE. GOODBYE.
SAY BYE-BYE, MICHELLE.
♪ I-I-I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
BABY!
♪ I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ A HUG AND KISSIN' THING ♪
♪ I-I-I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
♪ WA-OOH, CHILD ♪
♪ I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ A HUG AND KISSIN' THING ♪♪
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
LET'S DRINK A TOAST TO THE
RETURN OF OUR MAN JESSE.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
A TOAST TO MY ESCAPE
FROM ROMPER ROOM.
NO, NO. TO YOU
PAYING FOR THE CABIN.
LISTEN UP. FELLAS, THIS
IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.
WHEN I GET BACK TO TOWN,
I'M GOING TO GET MY OWN PLACE
AND START LIVING LIFE
THE WAY I WAS BORN TO LIVE.
FELLAS, LET'S HIT THE SLOPES!
YEAH! OW!
I'LL JUST PUT ON
MY SKI PANTS HERE.
YEAH, MY SKI PANTS.
LOOKIN' GOOD.
WHOOP! OK.
YES, IT'S WINTER
WONDERLAND TIME, FOLKS.
WINTER WONDERLAND. I AM PSYCHED!
JUST PUT ON MY SCARF, 'CAUSE
IT'S ABOUT 8 DEGREES OUTSIDE.
AND OF COURSE, JACKET.
ALWAYS REMEMBER, IT'S BETTER
TO LOOK GOOD THAN TO SKI GOOD.
PUT ON THE GLOVES, THE
WATER-PROOF GLOVES.
AND, OF COURSE, THE CAP,
WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT.
WE GET THE GOGGLES
ON. HEY, MAN. ALL RIGHT!
FANNY PACK. DON'T FORGET
THE OLD FANNY PACK.
GOTTA KEEP THE FANNY WARM.
AND THE SKIS AND THE
POLES AND...[PANTING]
GOD, I'M TIRED.
WILL SOMEONE JUST BREAK MY LEG
NOW AND STICK ME IN FRONT OF THE FIRE?
DAD, I ALWAYS GET MY GUITAR
LESSON FROM UNCLE JESSE.
ARE YOU SURE YOU
WANT TO DO THIS?
HONEY, THIS IS GONNA
BE A LOT OF FUN.
I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A
GREAT SONG. COME HERE.
YOU WATCH WHAT I DO
CAREFULLY, THEN YOU DO IT.
♪ FROGGIE WENT A-COURTIN',
AND HE DID RIDE, UH-HUH ♪
♪ FROGGIE WENT A-COURTIN',
AND HE DID RIDE, UH-HUH ♪
♪ WELL, FROGGIE WENT... ♪
DAD! DAD, STOP.
HERE'S WHERE I AM.
MAYBE FROGGIE'S NOT
READY TO GO A-COURTIN' YET.
LET'S WORK ON THAT
"D" CHORD. COME ON.
SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE.
TAKE THESE 2 FINGERS
AND PUT THEM ON THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND...
DAD, YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS.
HOW CAN I MAKE YOU
NERVOUS? I'M YOUR FATHER.
BECAUSE WHENEVER YOU
TEACH ME THINGS, WE ARGUE.
NO, WE DON'T.
YES, WE DO.
NO, WE DON'T.
YES, WE DO.
NO, WE DON'T! WHAT AM I DOING?
YOU'RE ARGUING WITH ME.
I'M NOT ARGUING WITH YOU.
YOU'RE ARGUING WITH ME.
WE'RE HERE TO HAVE FUN.
WELL, I'M NOT HAVING FUN.
I'D HAVE FUN IF UNCLE
JESSE WAS HERE.
THAT'S WHAT THIS
IS ALL ABOUT, ISN'T IT?
ALL OF UNCLE JESSE'S
CLOTHES ARE GONE.
IS UNCLE JESSE THINKING
ABOUT MOVING OUT?
THE TRUTH?
YES.
I HATE THIS.
WHEN MOM DIED,
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIKE
LIVING IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN.
THEN UNCLE JESSE AND JOEY
MOVED IN AND THINGS GOT BETTER.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO CHANGE.
AW, HONEY.
I WANT HIM TO STAY, TOO.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU GET HIM BACK?
BECAUSE HE'S AN ADULT.
YOU CAN'T JUST GO PICK HIM UP
AND PUT HIM UNDER YOUR
ARM AND BRING HIM BACK.
RIGHT NOW HE'S STRUGGLING
WITH SOME THINGS.
WHEN... AND IF
THE TIME IS RIGHT,
HE'LL BE BACK.
OK?
WELL, IT'S NOT OK.
BUT OK.
COME ON. LET'S FINISH
THE GUITAR LESSON.
WHAT ELSE DID UNCLE JESSE DO?
HE TEACHES ME AN ELVIS SONG.
I KNOW A GREAT ONE.
♪ ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT ♪
♪ DO YOU MISS ME TONIGHT ♪
♪ ARE YOU SORRY
WE DRIFTED APART ♪
♪ IS YOUR HEART FULL OF PAIN ♪
♪ DID HE COME BACK AGAIN ♪
THANKS FOR HELPING ME MOVE IN.
WHY DON'T YOU PUT
THAT STUFF OVER THERE?
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, MICHELLE, I
GREW UP IN THIS ROOM.
BOY, THIS PLACE
BRINGS BACK MEMORIES.
HERE, STEPH, YOU FORGOT
THE REST OF YOUR ZOO.
THANKS, D.J. ISN'T IT NEAT
WE HAVE OUR OWN ROOM
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
IT MIGHT BE MORE
THAN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH, NOTHING.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
UH, STEPH...
WHO DO YOU THINK'S
A BETTER SINGER,
ALVIN OR THEODORE?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
EVERYBODY KNOWS WITHOUT ALVIN,
THEY'RE JUST A
BUNCH OF SQUIRRELS
DRESSED LIKE DON JOHNSON.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
SEE YOU.
FREEZE.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
ALL RIGHT, STEPH.
SIT DOWN.
YOU SHOULD HEAR
THIS, TOO, MICHELLE.
UNCLE JESSE DIDN'T
JUST GO ON A VACATION.
HE'S THINKING ABOUT MOVING OUT.
CAN'T DADDY GET HIM BACK?
DAD SAID THERE'S
NOTHING HE CAN DO.
THEN WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
YOU'RE RIGHT, STEPH.
WHAT IF UNCLE JESSE
NEVER COMES BACK?
DADDY.
HERE'S THE PLAN.
I'LL CALL UNCLE JESSE.
CHECK.
AND TELL HIM
MICHELLE'S REALLY SICK.
HE'LL COME RUSHING BACK.
THEN WHAT?
THEN YOU THROW
YOUR ARMS AROUND HIM
AND BEG HIM TO STAY WHILE I
LET THE AIR OUT OF HIS TIRES.
WOW!
I NEED TO SPEAK
TO JESSE COCHRAN.
THIS IS HIS NIECE D.J. TANNER.
JESSE'S STILL OUT SKIING.
COULD YOU HOLD THE LINE?
HE'S NOT THERE. WHAT DO WE DO?
I DON'T KNOW! LET
ME THINK. I GOT IT!
THIS IS STEPHANIE TANNER,
UNCLE JESSE'S OTHER NIECE.
NOW LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY.
HELP!
TELL UNCLE JESSE THE
BABY'S COUGHING REAL BAD.
HERE, LISTEN.
Cough! Cough! Cough!
[COUGH COUGH] [COUGH]
AHH...
AHH...
[COUGH COUGH]
SEE? THE BABY'S
COUGHING REALLY LOUD.
UNCLE JESSE'S THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN GET HER TO
TAKE HER COUGH MEDICINE
PROMISE ME YOU'LL
TELL HIM. THANKS.
I LIED. I HATE TO LIE.
BUT IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
I GUESS.
BUT IF YOU COULD
COUGH A FEW TIMES,
I'D FEEL A LOT BETTER
ABOUT THIS WHOLE DIRTY BUSINESS.
[COUGH]
THANK YOU.
♪ GOT THE SKI
BUNNY BLUES, CHILD ♪
♪ MMM, I LOVE THEM ♪
♪ GOT THE SKI BUNNY... ♪
HI, GUYS.
HEY, SAMANTHA.
GOD, THIS SPORT REALLY
IS A PAIN IN THE BUTT.
YOUR FAMILY JUST CALLED.
THE BABY'S SICK.
MICHELLE'S SICK?
WHAT DOES SHE HAVE?
COUGH, I THINK.
OH.
WELL, JOEY AND DANNY ARE THERE.
THE PEDIATRICIAN.
I'M SURE SHE'LL BE FINE.
LET'S DO SOME BOYS
ARE BACK IN TOWN.
ALL RIGHT. SHE'LL BE OK.
HERE WE GO. 1, 2, 3, 4...
♪ THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ GUESS WHO JUST
GOT BACK TODAY... ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ BABY LOVE ♪
♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪
♪ I NEED YOU, OH,
HOW I NEED YOU ♪
♪ BUT ALL YOU DO
IS TREAT ME BAD ♪
♪ BREAK MY HEART
AND LEAVE ME SAD ♪
♪ TELL ME, WHAT DID I DO WRONG ♪
♪ TO MAKE YOU
STAY AWAY SO LONG ♪
♪ 'CAUSE, BABY LOVE ♪
♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪
♪ BEEN MISSIN' YOU ♪
♪ MISS KISSIN' YOU ♪
♪ INSTEAD OF BREAKING UP ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ LET'S DO SOME
KISSIN' AND MAKING UP ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ IN MY ARMS WHY
DON'T YOU STAY ♪
♪ NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU ♪
♪ BABY LOVE ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, BABY LOVE ♪
♪ BABY LOVE ♪
♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪
♪ WHY MUST WE
SEPARATE, MY LOVE ♪
♪ ALL OF MY WHOLE LIFE THROUGH ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ I NEVER LOVED NO ONE BUT YOU ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ WHY YOU DO ME LIKE YOU DO ♪
♪ I GET THIS NEED ♪
♪ BABY, BABY, BABY ♪
♪ OOH ♪
♪ NEED YOU BAD ♪
♪ OOH, NEED TO HOLD
YOU ONCE AGAIN, MY LOVE ♪
♪ FEEL YOUR WARM
EMBRACE, MY LOVE ♪
♪ DON'T THROW
OUR LOVE AWAY... ♪♪
♪ THE BOYS ARE
BACK IN TOWN... ♪♪
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
HOLD IT DOWN A SECOND.
I GOT TO CALL HOME.
WHAT'S WRONG?
THE KID IS SICK.
I'M HER UNCLE.
SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME.
DAMN, IT'S BUSY.
I'M SORRY GUYS, BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN GIVE HER HER COUGH MEDICINE,
AND I'M THE BEST AT
SINGING HER TO SLEEP.
SORRY, FELLAS. I GOT TO SPLIT.
MICHELLE NEEDS ME.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
BUT YOU KNEW WHEN
WE GOT INVOLVED
THERE WERE OTHER
WOMEN IN MY LIFE.
YES! OK.
OK. HERE'S THE SHOT.
I'M GONNA JUMP OVER THE
COUCH, SPIN AROUND 3 TIMES,
DRIVE TO THE HOOP,
DOUBLE PUMP TWICE,
FINISHING OFF WITH A REVERSE
TOMAHAWK MONSTER JAM.
IS THIS BEFORE OR AFTER
YOU SPIN STRAW INTO GOLD?
OH, YEAH? WATCH THIS!
I'D LIKE TO SEE MICHAEL
JORDAN SINK A SHOT LIKE THAT
WITH A COUCH ON THE COURT.
HOW IS SHE?
JESSE! HEY, BUDDY.
WHERE'S MICHELLE? DO I NEED
TO GIVE HER HER COUGH MEDICINE?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?
SOMEBODY CALLED AND
SAID MICHELLE WAS VERY SICK.
MICHELLE'S FINE.
SHE'S FINE?
THANK GOD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE'S FINE?
DO YOU REALIZE I'VE BEEN DRIVING
FOR 4 HOURS FROM LAKE TAHOE
ON MY MOTORCYCLE
IN THE FREEZING COLD
BEHIND A CATTLE TRUCK?
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU,
YOU MADE EXCELLENT TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
WHICH ONE OF YOU CALLED?
MUST HAVE BEEN THE GIRLS.
I THINK YOU REALLY SHOOK
'EM UP THE WAY YOU TOOK OFF.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN THAT,
BUT IT WAS
SOMETHING I HAD TO DO.
JESSE, HANG ON. TALK TO US.
MAYBE WE CAN HELP YOU.
LOOK, GUYS, EVER SINCE I'VE
BEEN OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL,
I'VE DONE WHAT I WANTED WHENEVER
I WANTED WITH WHOEVER I WANTED.
I'VE HAD NO ONE TO ANSWER TO,
NOBODY TO WORRY
ABOUT BUT MYSELF... ME.
SO I TOOK OFF TO FIND THAT GUY.
I WAS HANGING WITH MY BUDDIES,
PLAYING MUSIC...
THEN I GET THIS CALL.
MICHELLE'S SICK.
BAM! I COME RUNNING BACK
RIGHT INTO MISTER
ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD.
I'M SORRY, GUYS.
I DON'T THINK IT'S
WHERE I WANT TO BE.
JESSE, WAIT!
YOU'RE GOING ABOUT THIS WRONG.
MAYBE WHEN YOU MOVED IN
HERE, YOU LOST SOMETHING.
BUT LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE GAINED.
WHAT HAVE I GAINED?
I'LL GIVE YOU A PERFECT EXAMPLE.
WHY DID YOU COME RUSHING
BACK HERE TO CHECK A COUGH?
BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MICHELLE.
BUT I CARED ABOUT
MICHELLE BEFORE I MOVED IN.
BUT BEFORE YOU MOVED IN,
THE GIRLS WERE JUST YOUR NIECES.
YOU STOPPED BY 4 TIMES A YEAR
TO GIVE THEM BIRTHDAY
AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT
ANYMORE, IS IT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW
IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO THOSE 3 GIRLS?
YOU'VE BEEN THERE EVERY TIME
THOSE GIRLS HAVE NEEDED YOU.
CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME
THAT YOU CAN FORGET
ABOUT THE PAST 7 MONTHS
AND GO BACK TO VISITS ON
BIRTHDAYS AND CHRISTMAS?
THEY DO LOVE ME, DON'T THEY?
THEY REALLY LOVE ME, DON'T THEY?
HA HA HA HA.
WELL, CAN YOU BLAME THEM?
FEELS PRETTY GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
I'M GOING TO TELL
YOU GUYS SOMETHING,
BUT YOU BETTER NOT TELL
ANY OF MY FRIENDS I SAID THIS.
I THINK I'M REALIZING
THAT BEING PART OF THIS FAMILY
IS FILLING AN EMPTY...
AN EMPTY SPACE IN MY HEART
THAT I DIDN'T EVEN
KNOW WAS THERE.
JESSE, WE CAN MAKE
THIS EASIER FOR YOU.
YOU CAN TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
WHENEVER YOU NEED IT.
YEAH, DON'T WAIT
TILL IT BUILDS UP INSIDE
AND YOU GOTTA RUN
AWAY FROM HOME AGAIN.
IF YOU NEED TO TAKE
OFF FOR A FEW DAYS,
FINE. WE'LL COVER FOR YOU.
YEAH, WE'LL MAKE THIS WORK.
WILL YOU STAY OUT OF MY ROOM?
I'LL TRY.
SO, LASSIE'S COMING HOME?
YEAH, YEAH, LASSIE'S
COMING HOME.
I GOT TO HUG SOMEBODY.
ME, TOO.
GO NUTS.
HEY, WATCH IT.
SORRY, KID.
UNCLE JESSE! YOU'RE
BACK, YOU'RE BACK,
YOU'RE BACK, YOU'RE
BACK, YOU'RE BACK!
D.J., GET IN HERE, QUICK!
UNCLE JESSE'S BACK!
OUR PLAN WORKED!
UNCLE JESSE! YOU'RE BACK!
HEY!
WELL, I WAS IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD...
ARE YOU HERE TO STAY
OR PICK UP YOUR
STUFF AND LEAVE AGAIN?
COME HERE, GIRLS. SIT DOWN.
COME HERE, D.J.
I CAME BACK
BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT MICHELLE,
AND BECAUSE I MISSED YOU TWO.
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
DOES THIS MEAN YOU'LL
NEVER LEAVE AGAIN?
I CAN'T PROMISE YOU
I'LL LIVE HERE FOREVER,
BUT WHAT I CAN PROMISE IS...
I'M ALWAYS GOING
TO BE YOUR UNCLE,
AND I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE
WHEN YOU TWO NEED ME.
AND I'LL ALWAYS LOVE
YOU TWO KNUCKLEHEADS
VERY, VERY MUCH.
CROSS YOUR HEART
AND HOPE TO DIE?
PINKIE SWEAR!
OH! HE DOES MEAN BUSINESS!
YOU'RE UP.
HERE.
I DROVE 4 HOURS IN
THE FREEZING COLD
ON MY MOTORCYCLE BEHIND A
CATTLE TRUCK TO GIVE YOU THIS.
HERE YOU GO.
NOT IMPRESSED, ARE YOU?
MICHELLE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU A SECOND?
WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE,
I THOUGHT IT WOULD JUST
BE FOR A FEW MONTHS,
YOU KNOW, JUST TO HELP OUT,
THEN I'D GET ON WITH MY LIFE.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS MY LIFE.
THIS IS WHERE I'M
SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT NOW.
COME HERE.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT
YOU PUT ME THROUGH?
I WAS WITH THE MOST
INCREDIBLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD.
OVER 2 YEARS
OLD, THAT IS. SORRY.
ANYWAY, FROM THE MOMENT
I HEARD YOU WERE SICK,
ALL I COULD DO WAS
THINK OF THIS FACE.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS FACE, HUH?
[GIGGLES]
GOOD ANSWER.
GOOD NIGHT, KID.
DA.
CAN I GET A KISS?
YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
YOU LITTLE MUNCHKIN?
I LOVE YOU.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
SAMANTHA, I PROMISE,
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE
MOST ROMANTIC WEEKEND
OF YOUR LIFE.
WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE
CHATEAUBRIAND,
A LITTLE DOM PERIGNON.
YES, AND FOR DESSERT...
AN EMPTY HOUSE. HA HA HA HA.
THE FAMILY'S GOING
AWAY TO DISNEYLAND. YEAH.
2 POINTS.
THEY'RE LEAVING IN 3 MINUTES.
IF YOU LEAVE NOW,
MAKE ALL THE LIGHTS,
YOU'LL BE HERE IN 4 MINUTES.
2 MINUTES AFTER THAT,
YOU AND I'LL BE IN
EACH OTHER'S ARMS,
GAZING INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES,
DOING A LITTLE
THING I LIKE TO CALL...
UNCLE JESSE!
THE HOKEY-POKEY.
BYE, AUNT IRENE.
WHAT IS IT, KID?
I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!
ALL RIGHT!
DISNEYLAND! DISNEYLAND!
COME ON, EVERYBODY!
WE'RE GONNA BE
LATE FOR DISNEYLAND!
DISNEYLAND,
DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND!
STEPHANIE! HOLD IT!
ALL RIGHT, TAKE A DEEP
BREATH. NOW RELAX.
INHALE, EXHALE...
VERY GOOD. YOU OK?
I'M FINE. GOOD.
DISNEYLAND,
DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND!
WHY AREN'T WE AT DISNEYLAND?
STEPH, STEPH. CALM DOWN.
DISNEYLAND,
DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND!
LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
YOU NEED TO SWITCH
THE KID TO DECAF.
THE PLANE WON'T
LEAVE ANY EARLIER
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE
THE FIRST ONES ON IT.
IF WE'RE THE FIRST ONES ON,
WE'LL BE THE FIRST ONES OFF
AND BE FIRST IN LINE
FOR THE MATTERHORN.
MATTERHORN?
♪ DE WE GOTTOGO HOOHOO ♪
♪ LELELELE HEEHEE ♪♪
D.J., TELL ME AGAIN
HOW IT'S GOING TO BE.
DISNEYLAND HAS
THE GREATEST RIDES.
WHILE YOU'RE STANDING IN LINE,
MICKEY AND MINNIE
MOUSE PLAY WITH YOU.
NO! WHY ARE WE YAKKING?
WE COULD BE THERE!
COME ON, LET'S GO.
JOEY, OPEN THE DOOR
BEFORE SHE GOES THROUGH IT.
YEAH. STEPHANIE'S RIGHT.
TINKERBELL'S WAITING.
LET'S SKEDADDLE. LET'S GO.
YEAH. LET'S SKEDADDLE.
RIGHT. HERE WE
GO. WE'RE LEAVING.
I'M GOING.
JESSE, YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANT TO COME?
ARE YOU KIDDING? NO, NO, NO!
WHO'S GOING TO PICK UP THE MAIL,
GET THE NEWSPAPER, FEED THE DOG?
UH, JESS. WE DON'T HAVE A DOG.
WELL, JUST BECAUSE
IT'S NOT OUR DOG
DOESN'T MEAN WE
SHOULDN'T FEED HIM.
UNCLE JESSE, I REALLY
WISH YOU WERE COMING,
BUT IF WE DON'T LEAVE SOON,
I'M GOING TO GO BANANAS!
SHE'S RIGHT.
ANY MINUTE, BAM. BANANAS.
LET'S GO.
♪ HEIGH-HO, HEIGH-HO ♪
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... ♪
THEY'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!
YEAH.
IT'S AMAZING.
YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING
TENNIS ALL YOUR LIFE.
I JUST STARTED TODAY,
AND I BEAT YOU 3
STRAIGHT SETS. THAT'S WILD!
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?
NOTHING. I'M JUST SMILING.
YOU'RE NOT JUST SMILING.
THAT'S A "YOU LET ME WIN" SMILE.
WELL... TELL ME YOU
DIDN'T LET ME WIN.
I DIDN'T LET YOU WIN.
OH. SHE LET ME WIN.
AWWW.
YOU TOUGH GUYS ARE SO CUTE.
"YOU TOUGH GUYS ARE SO CUTE."
MAN, THIS IS GREAT.
LISTEN... NOTHING.
SAMMY, DO YOU REALIZE THAT
WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT A MONTH,
AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME
WE'VE BEEN ALONE TOGETHER.
I KNOW. WITH ME LIVING
AT MY FOLKS' HOUSE...
AND ME LIVING AT PEE
WEE'S PLAYHOUSE...
BUT TONIGHT... YOU
AND I WILL PLAY HOUSE.
AH.
YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE
GOING TO CELEBRATE.
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU
THE MOST ROMANTIC
CANDLELIGHT DINNER
YOU'VE EVER HAD
IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
OOH. THAT SOUNDS PERFECT.
SO, WHAT WILL IT BE?
EXTRA CRISPY OR ORIGINAL RECIPE?
THAT'S CUTE.
I'M GOING TO GO TAKE A SHOWER,
AND I'LL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU.
HAVE MERCY!
IF YOU HEAR ME LAUGHING,
IT'S 'CAUSE I'M THINKING
OF YOUR BACKHAND.
LOOK OUT!
♪ I'M JUST A LOONY
LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT... ♪
♪ OOH, BABE ♪
♪ I'M A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK FOR... ♪
♪ I AM JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ I AM JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
TOO OBVIOUS.
♪ I AM JUST THAT WACKY,
CRAZY LOVE MACHINE ♪
SAMMY, BROUGHT
YOU SOME CHAMPAGNE.
JESSE.
CAN'T BLAME ME FOR TRYING.
THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME. I'LL SLIP INTO
MY EVENING ATTIRE NOW.
HA HA HA HA.
OK, LET'S GO.
COME ON, STEPH.
MISSING DISNEYLAND ISN'T
THE END OF THE WORLD.
AIRPLANES CAN'T
FLY WHEN IT'S FOGGY.
I HATE FOG.
BIRDS CAN FLY IN FOG.
WE SHOULD'VE TAKEN A BIRD.
STEPH, I PROMISE, WE'LL GO
TO DISNEYLAND ANOTHER TIME.
YEAH, I WAS MICHELLE'S
FIRST TIME, TOO.
LOOK HOW WELL SHE'S TAKING IT.
WHAT DOES SHE KNOW? SHE
PUTS HER FOOD UP HER NOSE.
STEPH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
HERE'S A GREAT IDEA.
WE'LL MAKE TONIGHT
FAMILY FUN NIGHT
RIGHT HERE AT HOME.
WHAT COULD BE
MORE FUN THAN THAT?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. SOMETHING
THAT'S STARTS WITH A "D"
AND ENDS WITH A "LAND."
THESE DISAPPOINTMENTS
ARE REALLY TOUGH
ON A 6-YEAR-OLD.
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
WE MISSED CAPTAIN EO.
♪ I AM JUST AN L. M. ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
♪ BABY ♪
♪ I'M JUST A LOVE... ♪
[HUMMING]
STEPH, WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO TONIGHT?
MOPE.
I'LL DROP OFF THE KID.
I'LL LET JESSE KNOW WE'RE BACK.
JESSE, WE GOT FOGGED IN.
WE'RE BACK.
WHAT DID YOU SAY, JESS?
HEY, JESS.
YOU WEAR THESE CLOTHES
EVERY TIME WE LEAVE THE HOUSE?
HAVE MERCY.
YOU'RE NOT JESSE.
NEITHER ARE YOU.
I'M SAMANTHA.
I'M ME... UH, DANNY.
THAT'S, UH, SHORT FOR DANIEL.
IT'S LONG FOR DAN.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET DRESSED.
NOT IN THERE. YOUR
CLOTHES WOULD GET WET.
EXCUSE ME.
DOOR USED TO BE OVER THERE.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
IMAGINE MY SURPRISE.
IMAGINE IF YOU CAME IN
AND SAW ME IN THE SHOWER.
THEN YOU'D REALLY
BE SORRY. TRUST ME.
OH, UH, THERE'S SHAMPOO
AND CONDITIONER IN THERE,
AND THERE'S SOME
WOOLITE ON THE SHELF
IN CASE YOU WANT TO
SOAK A FINE WASHABLE.
THANK YOU.
WHOO!
JESSE!
JESSE!
OH, NO. IT COULDN'T BE.
COULD IT?
WOW! LOOK AT ALL THE FOOD.
OH, YUM.
STEPH, THIS IS GREAT.
LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO DINNERLAND.
[IMITATES CARNIVAL MUSIC]
OH, IT'S DINNERLAND.
THERE'S LOTS OF FUN HERE.
OH, I LOVE IT HERE
AT DINNERLAND.
OH, SHRIMP.
OH, YUM YUM YUM
YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM.
[BELCH]
♪ I AM JUST A LOVE... ♪
AAH.
HEY, JESS. HOW'S IT GOING?
LET GO OF MY SHRIMP!
PUT DOWN MY SH...
WHY AREN'T YOU
GUYS AT DISNEYLAND?
FOG, FOG, FOG.
I HATE FOG.
JESSE, JUST I MET YOUR FRIEND.
SHE'S VERY... CLEAN.
SURE HOPE WE DIDN'T
RUIN YOUR WEEKEND.
OH, NO. WHY WOULD
YOU THINK THAT?
JUST BECAUSE I'VE WAITED
A MONTH TO BE WITH SAM.
I'VE WAITED 5 1/2 YEARS
TO GO TO DISNEYLAND.
I HATE FOG.
I REALLY HATE FOG.
OK! ARE WE READY
FOR FAMILY FUN NIGHT?
ALL RIGHT!
HOT DOG.
HOT DOG.
I KNOW! LET'S SING YOUR
FAVORITE ONE FROM SCHOOL.
I GOT IT ALL PLANNED.
JESSE, YOU PLAY THE GUITAR.
D.J., YOU PLAY THE TAMBOURINE.
JESS, DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS?
YEAH, THAT WAS ON MOTLEY CRUE'S
FIRST CHRISTMAS ALBUM, RIGHT?
ON 3. EVERYBODY! 1, 2, 3!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
TAKE IT, STEPH!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ THEN YOUR SMILE
WILL SURELY SHOW IT ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
YAY! WASN'T THAT FESTIVE?
NEXT VERSE, ON 3! 1, 2, 3!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, STOMP YOUR FEET ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, STOMP YOUR FEET ♪
[AS POPEYE] ♪ IF YOU'RE
HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ THEN YOUR SMILE
WILL SURELY SHOWS IT ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT... ♪
HMM. STOMPS YOUR FEET,
WOULD YA? AK, AK, AK, AK!
DO YOU GUYS HAVE THIS
MUCH FUN EVERY NIGHT?
YEAH, IT'S HARD
TO BELIEVE, ISN'T IT?
STEPH, ARE WE
HAVING A GOOD TIME?
IT'S NO COUNTRY BEAR JAMBOREE.
HONEY, IF YOU DON'T THINK
ABOUT... YOU KNOW WHERE,
IT'LL BE A LOT EASIER.
I KNOW! WE'LL SING ROW,
ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT.
WE'LL DO IT AS A
ROUND. IT'LL BE GREAT!
DAD, THAT'S DOPEY.
DOPEY! DON'T SAY THAT!
HONEY, LOOK, IT'S
BEEN A LONG DAY.
I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED,
YOU'RE WORN-OUT,
YOU'RE GRUMPY.
GRUMPY!
SORRY.
WHAT I MEANT WAS YOU'RE
PROBABLY VERY SLEE...
EXHAUSTED.
YOU WERE GOING TO SAY SLEEPY.
THANKS FOR TRYING,
BUT FAMILY FUN NIGHT'S
JUST NOT ANY FUN.
GUESS THAT KINDA PUTS
A DAMPER ON SIMON SAYS.
I'LL TALK TO HER.
HERE.
HERE. TAKE YOUR KID.
THANKS.
AHEM.
WHY DON'T WE GO INTO
THE KITCHEN SO THAT, UH...
SO THAT JESSE DOESN'T
HAVE TO MAKE THAT FACE.
YEAH.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
WE'RE FINALLY ALONE.
YOU KNOW, YOUR
FAMILY'S TERRIFIC.
I HAD A GREAT TIME TONIGHT.
BUT WE COULD'VE HAD
A REALLY GREAT TIME.
WELL, LET'S DO IT
TOMORROW NIGHT.
I KNOW THIS TERRIFIC
BED AND BREAKFAST PLACE
IN THE NAPA VALLEY.
THAT SOUNDS SO...
SO FRUSTRATING.
I PROMISED I'D BABYSIT THE
MUNCHKIN TOMORROW NIGHT.
WELL, ANOTHER TIME.
THEY'VE GOTTA GET THAT LITTLE
GIRL TO DISNEYLAND SOME DAY.
I'M GOING TO MISS YOU TONIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HERE'S 5 BUCKS.
GO CATCH A MOVIE.
STEPH, HOW YOU DOING?
I'VE BEEN BETTER.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
NO, YOU DON'T. YOU'VE
BEEN TO DISNEYLAND.
BUT I KNOW WHAT'S IT LIKE
NOT TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED
TO DO THAT CEREAL COMMERCIAL,
AND YOU GOT IT INSTEAD?
UH-HUH.
WHAT DID I DO? DID I MOPE?
NO. YOU CHASED ME
AROUND THE KITCHEN
AND TRIED TO KILL ME.
OK. BAD EXAMPLE.
WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE SURE WAY
TO MAKE YOU SMILE.
THE TICKLE MONSTER!
IT'S NOT WORKING.
HA HA!
THEN HOW COME YOU'RE LAUGHING?
THIS IS SAD LAUGHING.
STEPH, I'M GLAD
TO SEE YOU HAPPY.
THAT DIDN'T COUNT.
THE TICKLE MONSTER
MADE ME LAUGH.
STEPHANIE, YOU HAVE
EVERY REASON TO BE SAD,
AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.
THANK YOU.
STEPH, I WANT YOU TO
REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS.
YOU WON'T ALWAYS
GET YOUR OWN WAY.
WHILE YOU'RE
SPENDING ALL THIS TIME
BEING SAD ABOUT
MISSING ONE THING,
YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON A
LOT OF OTHER FUN THINGS,
LIKE OUR FAMILY SING-ALONG.
THAT WASN'T SO MUCH FUN.
IT WASN'T FUN FOR YOU
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T
WANT IT TO BE FUN.
I HAD FUN.
D.J. HAD FUN. RIGHT?
AH, IT WAS OK.
FUN. BIG FUN.
IT'S UP TO YOU. YOU CAN
FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF,
OR YOU CAN FEEL BAD FOR A WHILE
THEN SHAKE IT OFF AND MOVE
ON TO THE NEXT FUN THING.
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO
BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO
SMILE TOO MUCH. RIGHT?
I GUESS SO.
I KNOW SOMETHING FUN
WE CAN DO RIGHT NOW.
IT HAS TO DO WITH DAD
AND A CERTAIN MONSTER.
UH-OH.
"UH-OH" IS RIGHT.
HERE COMES THE TICKLE MONSTER!
TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE!
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ GO OVER THERE
AND LEAVE ME ALONE ♪
♪ COMB YOUR HAIR
RIGHT OVER THERE ♪
COME ON, STOP IT! ♪
CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS ♪
[CLAP, CLAP]
HEY, JESS, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I DON'T KNOW. EVERY
TIME I COME IN THIS ROOM,
IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S MORE
PINK BUNNIES ON THE WALL.
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW RABBITS ARE.
JOEY, SIT DOWN A SECOND.
SURE.
JOSEPH, CAN I TALK TO
YOU MAN TO... MAN TO YOU?
SURE, BUDDY. YOU
LOOK A LITTLE DOWN.
I'M SORRY IF WE WRECKED
YOUR NIGHT WITH SAMANTHA.
IT'S NOT JUST SAMANTHA, IT'S...
BE HONEST WITH ME.
DOESN'T LIVING HERE
GET TO YOU SOMETIMES?
NO.
NEVER?
NEVER. I LOVE IT.
YOU MEAN YOU LOVE
CHANGING DIAPERS,
MAKING LUNCHES, CHASING
THE GIRLS AROUND TOWN,
CHANGING DIAPERS, HELPING
THEM WITH HOMEWORK,
PICKING UP TOYS... DID I
MENTION CHANGING DIAPERS?
SOME OF THOSE TASKS ARE
MORE REWARDING THAN OTHERS.
WHY?
JOEY, WHY ARE YOU HAPPY HERE?
WELL, JESS, I THINK IT'S
BECAUSE WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,
I DIDN'T HAVE
BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
I LIKE BEING PART
OF A BIG FAMILY.
I LIKE HAVING PEOPLE
TO CARE ABOUT,
INCLUDING YOU.
THANK YOU.
BESIDES, THIS IS THE
ONLY PLACE I'VE LIVED
THAT ALWAYS HAS ICE
CREAM IN THE FREEZER.
PASS.
JOEY... DON'T YOU
EVER ASK YOURSELF,
"WHAT AM I DOING?"
I USED TO BE THIS FREEWHEELING,
LIVING ON THE EDGE,
NO STRINGS KIND OF GUY.
AND NOW...
IT SEEMS LIKE I'M
MARRIED OR SOMETHING.
I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR 3 KIDS,
YET I CAN'T EVEN DEDUCT
THEM FROM MY TAXES.
WELL, TECHNICALLY YOU COULD
IF YOU MARRIED DANNY.
JOEY, DO YOU REALIZE
EVERY NIGHT I SLEEP
HERE, I SLEEP ALONE?
WANT TO GET BUNK BEDS?
NO, I... I'M POURING
MY HEART OUT HERE,
AND YOU'RE MAKING JOKES.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY. TALK TO ME.
I... I DON'T KNOW, I...
I GUESS THIS WHOLE
SITUATION IS GETTING TO ME.
I HAVE ZERO PRIVACY.
I TRY TO WRITE MY MUSIC,
AND I HAVE ALL
THESE DISTRACTIONS.
I WRITE MUSIC OUT OF MY OWN
LIFE EXPERIENCES, YOU KNOW?
MY LAST 3 SONGS HAVE BEEN
ABOUT CHANGING DIAPERS,
THE MEASLES, AND TUB TOYS.
I THOUGHT THAT TUB TOY
SONG WAS VERY DANCEABLE.
I FEEL I HAVE THINGS TO
ACCOMPLISH IN MY LIFE.
THERE ARE THINGS I WANT TO DO,
THINGS I WANT TO
EXPERIENCE, AND...
I DON'T KNOW, BUT...
MAYBE LIVING HERE
IS HOLDING ME BACK.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENED TO MY LIFE,
BUT I GOT TO REGAIN
CONTROL OF IT.
HEY, JESS, LOOK
AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
IF YOU HADN'T MOVED IN,
WE'D NEVER BE AS
CLOSE AS WE ARE.
I KNOW.
HEY... SLEEP ON IT.
HEY.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
JESSE?
SAMANTHA?
JESSE?
SAMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE
HERE. EVERYBODY'S HOME.
UNCLE JESSE, WILL YOU
HELP WITH MY HOMEWORK?
D.J., IT'S THE MIDDLE OF NIGHT.
THE CLOSER I STUDY TO
MY TEST, THE LESS I FORGET.
UNCLE JESSE, WILL YOU
GIVE ME A PIGGYBACK RIDE?
UNCLE JESSE DOESN'T WANT TO.
YES, HE DOES.
NO, HE DOESN'T.
YES, HE DOES.
NO, HE DOESN'T.
YES, HE DOES.
UNCLE JESSE, CHANGE MY DIAPER.
YOU CAN'T TALK!
AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO HAVE GIRLS HERE.
GIRLS, YOU GOT TO GO.
EVERYONE OFF THE
BED. LET'S GO. COME ON.
GUYS, GREAT. TAKE OVER FOR ME.
IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY.
EVERYBODY OUT. EVERYBODY GO.
COME ON, LET'S
GO! GO, GO, GO, GO.
HOLD IT. YOU, YOU CAN STAY.
UNCLE JESSE?
HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK.
I WANT A PIGGYBACK RIDE.
JESSE?
IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY.
CHANGE ME.
FEED ME.
CHANGE ME.
FEED ME.
FEED ME.
CHANGE ME!
FEED ME!
CHANGE ME! FEED ME!
FEED ME! CHANGE ME!
OH, MY GOD. THERE'S
TWO MICHELLES.
THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!
CHANGE ME!
FEED ME!
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
YOUR TURN.
HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
SO HAPPY.
NO!
I WANT A PIGGYBACK RIDE.
HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK.
IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY.
CHANGE ME! FEED ME!
YOU'RE THEIR UNCLE.
AAH!
OH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
JESS, WAKE UP! RISE AND SHINE!
LET'S GO! GET UP!
"GUYS...
"I DIDN'T WANT TO
WAKE ANYBODY UP,
"SO I LEFT THIS NOTE.
"I NEED TO GET AWAY FOR A WHILE.
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.
"I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK,
OR EVEN IF I WILL BE BACK."
"I DON'T THINK IT'S
WORKING OUT FOR ME HERE.
I'LL CALL SOON. TELL THE
GIRLS I LOVE THEM. JESSE."
JESSE RAN AWAY FROM HOME?
I'M HUNGRY.
WHERE'S UNCLE JESSE?
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
SAMMY, DO YOU REALIZE THAT
YOU AND I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT
A MONTH, AND THIS IS THE FIRST
TIME WE'VE BEEN ALONE TOGETHER?
I KNOW. WITH ME LIVING
AT MY FOLKS' HOUSE...
YEAH, ME LIVING AT
PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE...
SURE HOPE WE DIDN'T
RUIN YOUR WEEKEND, JESS.
OH, NO, WHY WOULD
YOU THINK THAT?
JUST BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
WAITING A MONTH TO BE WITH SAM.
I USED TO BE THIS FREE-WHEELING,
LIVING ON THE EDGE...
NO STRINGS KINDA GUY.
NOW... HA... NOW IT SEEMS
LIKE I'M MARRIED OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S
HAPPENED TO MY LIFE, PAL,
BUT I GOTTA REGAIN
CONTROL OF IT.
"I DON'T THINK IT'S
WORKING OUT FOR ME HERE.
I'LL CALL SOON."
JESSE RAN AWAY FROM HOME?
JESSE RAN AWAY FROM HOME?
I'M HUNGRY.
WHERE'S UNCLE JESSE?
GIRLS, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
US FOR A BRIEF MOMENT,
I HAVE TO TALK TO
JOEY PRIVATELY ABOUT...
THIS NOTE I WROTE MYSELF REMINDING
ME TO TALK TO JOEY PRIVATELY
ABOUT THIS NOTE THAT I WROTE.
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO SAY TO THE GIRLS?
JOEY... THIS IS A
DELICATE SITUATION.
IT'S A FATHER KIND OF MOMENT.
YOU BETTER LET ME HANDLE IT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
JUST PLAY DUMB.
HOW DO I DO THAT?
PERFECT.
OH, HI. YOU'RE BACK.
DID UNCLE JESSE GO SOMEWHERE?
GIRLS, YOUR FATHER
HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.
YOUR UNCLE JESSE
HAS GONE ON A LITTLE...
VACATION.
WHERE?
WHERE?
YOU SAW HIM LAST.
TELL THEM, JOEY.
OK... FATHER.
UH, GIRLS...
YOUR UNCLE JESSE
WENT ON VACATION...
TO THE DESERT.
"AND WHY?" YOU ASK.
BECAUSE HE LOVES THE HOT SAND,
AND HE LOVES THE BURNING SUN.
BOTTOM LINE...
YOUR UNCLE JESSE LOVES TO SWEAT.
I THOUGHT HE LOVED
GOING TO THE BEACH.
WELL... THE DESERT IS ALL BEACH.
OK. HERE WE GO.
YOUR FAVORITE STRAWBERRY
YOGURT BANANA PANCAKES,
JUST LIKE YOUR
UNCLE JESSE MAKES.
THESE AREN'T LIKE
UNCLE JESSE MAKES.
HIS AREN'T SOUPY IN THE MIDDLE.
MINE AREN'T SOUPY.
HERE, MICHELLE.
YOU'LL APPRECIATE MY COOKING.
THAT A GIRL.
TASTE IT, HONEY.
EVERYBODY'S A CRITIC.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I GOT IT.
GLADSTONE'S INTERNATIONAL
HOUSE OF FLAPJACKS.
GLADSTONE SPEAKING.
JESSE!
UNCLE JESSE! I
WANT TO TALK TO HIM.
WAIT A SECOND.
I'LL TALK TO HIM.
I'LL TALK TO ANYONE YOU
WANT. JUST MAKE A DECISION.
HOW THE HECK IS
THE DESERT, JESS?
WHAT DESERT?
I'M SKIING IN TAHOE.
LOOK, I'M HANGING
OUT WITH MY BUDDIES,
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHEN I'M COMING BACK.
IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY, I'LL
GIVE YOU THE NUMBER... 555-4322.
I GOT TO TELL UNCLE
JESSE SOMETHING.
I GOT TO TELL UNCLE
JESSE SOMETHING!
OK, HERE.
OH, NO.
I FORGOT WHAT I WAS
GOING TO TELL HIM.
OH, I REMEMBER. SILLY ME.
HI, UNCLE JESSE.
WHILE YOU'RE ON VACATION,
CAN I SLEEP IN YOUR
ROOM, WHICH WAS MY ROOM
BEFORE IT WAS YOUR ROOM?
THANKS, UNCLE JESSE.
EVERYBODY SAY BYE.
BYE. BYE. BYE.
BYE-BYE. GOODBYE.
SAY BYE-BYE, MICHELLE.
♪ I-I-I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
BABY!
♪ I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ A HUG AND KISSIN' THING ♪
♪ I-I-I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND I WON'T WORK
FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
♪ WA-OOH, CHILD ♪
♪ I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ A HUG AND KISSIN' THING ♪♪
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
LET'S DRINK A TOAST TO THE
RETURN OF OUR MAN JESSE.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
A TOAST TO MY ESCAPE
FROM ROMPER ROOM.
NO, NO. TO YOU
PAYING FOR THE CABIN.
LISTEN UP. FELLAS, THIS
IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.
WHEN I GET BACK TO TOWN,
I'M GOING TO GET MY OWN PLACE
AND START LIVING LIFE
THE WAY I WAS BORN TO LIVE.
FELLAS, LET'S HIT THE SLOPES!
YEAH! OW!
I'LL JUST PUT ON
MY SKI PANTS HERE.
YEAH, MY SKI PANTS.
LOOKIN' GOOD.
WHOOP! OK.
YES, IT'S WINTER
WONDERLAND TIME, FOLKS.
WINTER WONDERLAND. I AM PSYCHED!
JUST PUT ON MY SCARF, 'CAUSE
IT'S ABOUT 8 DEGREES OUTSIDE.
AND OF COURSE, JACKET.
ALWAYS REMEMBER, IT'S BETTER
TO LOOK GOOD THAN TO SKI GOOD.
PUT ON THE GLOVES, THE
WATER-PROOF GLOVES.
AND, OF COURSE, THE CAP,
WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT.
WE GET THE GOGGLES
ON. HEY, MAN. ALL RIGHT!
FANNY PACK. DON'T FORGET
THE OLD FANNY PACK.
GOTTA KEEP THE FANNY WARM.
AND THE SKIS AND THE
POLES AND...[PANTING]
GOD, I'M TIRED.
WILL SOMEONE JUST BREAK MY LEG
NOW AND STICK ME IN FRONT OF THE FIRE?
DAD, I ALWAYS GET MY GUITAR
LESSON FROM UNCLE JESSE.
ARE YOU SURE YOU
WANT TO DO THIS?
HONEY, THIS IS GONNA
BE A LOT OF FUN.
I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A
GREAT SONG. COME HERE.
YOU WATCH WHAT I DO
CAREFULLY, THEN YOU DO IT.
♪ FROGGIE WENT A-COURTIN',
AND HE DID RIDE, UH-HUH ♪
♪ FROGGIE WENT A-COURTIN',
AND HE DID RIDE, UH-HUH ♪
♪ WELL, FROGGIE WENT... ♪
DAD! DAD, STOP.
HERE'S WHERE I AM.
MAYBE FROGGIE'S NOT
READY TO GO A-COURTIN' YET.
LET'S WORK ON THAT
"D" CHORD. COME ON.
SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE.
TAKE THESE 2 FINGERS
AND PUT THEM ON THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND FRET.
NO, THE SECOND...
DAD, YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS.
HOW CAN I MAKE YOU
NERVOUS? I'M YOUR FATHER.
BECAUSE WHENEVER YOU
TEACH ME THINGS, WE ARGUE.
NO, WE DON'T.
YES, WE DO.
NO, WE DON'T.
YES, WE DO.
NO, WE DON'T! WHAT AM I DOING?
YOU'RE ARGUING WITH ME.
I'M NOT ARGUING WITH YOU.
YOU'RE ARGUING WITH ME.
WE'RE HERE TO HAVE FUN.
WELL, I'M NOT HAVING FUN.
I'D HAVE FUN IF UNCLE
JESSE WAS HERE.
THAT'S WHAT THIS
IS ALL ABOUT, ISN'T IT?
ALL OF UNCLE JESSE'S
CLOTHES ARE GONE.
IS UNCLE JESSE THINKING
ABOUT MOVING OUT?
THE TRUTH?
YES.
I HATE THIS.
WHEN MOM DIED,
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIKE
LIVING IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN.
THEN UNCLE JESSE AND JOEY
MOVED IN AND THINGS GOT BETTER.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO CHANGE.
AW, HONEY.
I WANT HIM TO STAY, TOO.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU GET HIM BACK?
BECAUSE HE'S AN ADULT.
YOU CAN'T JUST GO PICK HIM UP
AND PUT HIM UNDER YOUR
ARM AND BRING HIM BACK.
RIGHT NOW HE'S STRUGGLING
WITH SOME THINGS.
WHEN... AND IF
THE TIME IS RIGHT,
HE'LL BE BACK.
OK?
WELL, IT'S NOT OK.
BUT OK.
COME ON. LET'S FINISH
THE GUITAR LESSON.
WHAT ELSE DID UNCLE JESSE DO?
HE TEACHES ME AN ELVIS SONG.
I KNOW A GREAT ONE.
♪ ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT ♪
♪ DO YOU MISS ME TONIGHT ♪
♪ ARE YOU SORRY
WE DRIFTED APART ♪
♪ IS YOUR HEART FULL OF PAIN ♪
♪ DID HE COME BACK AGAIN ♪
THANKS FOR HELPING ME MOVE IN.
WHY DON'T YOU PUT
THAT STUFF OVER THERE?
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, MICHELLE, I
GREW UP IN THIS ROOM.
BOY, THIS PLACE
BRINGS BACK MEMORIES.
HERE, STEPH, YOU FORGOT
THE REST OF YOUR ZOO.
THANKS, D.J. ISN'T IT NEAT
WE HAVE OUR OWN ROOM
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
IT MIGHT BE MORE
THAN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH, NOTHING.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
UH, STEPH...
WHO DO YOU THINK'S
A BETTER SINGER,
ALVIN OR THEODORE?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
EVERYBODY KNOWS WITHOUT ALVIN,
THEY'RE JUST A
BUNCH OF SQUIRRELS
DRESSED LIKE DON JOHNSON.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
SEE YOU.
FREEZE.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
ALL RIGHT, STEPH.
SIT DOWN.
YOU SHOULD HEAR
THIS, TOO, MICHELLE.
UNCLE JESSE DIDN'T
JUST GO ON A VACATION.
HE'S THINKING ABOUT MOVING OUT.
CAN'T DADDY GET HIM BACK?
DAD SAID THERE'S
NOTHING HE CAN DO.
THEN WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
YOU'RE RIGHT, STEPH.
WHAT IF UNCLE JESSE
NEVER COMES BACK?
DADDY.
HERE'S THE PLAN.
I'LL CALL UNCLE JESSE.
CHECK.
AND TELL HIM
MICHELLE'S REALLY SICK.
HE'LL COME RUSHING BACK.
THEN WHAT?
THEN YOU THROW
YOUR ARMS AROUND HIM
AND BEG HIM TO STAY WHILE I
LET THE AIR OUT OF HIS TIRES.
WOW!
I NEED TO SPEAK
TO JESSE COCHRAN.
THIS IS HIS NIECE D.J. TANNER.
JESSE'S STILL OUT SKIING.
COULD YOU HOLD THE LINE?
HE'S NOT THERE. WHAT DO WE DO?
I DON'T KNOW! LET
ME THINK. I GOT IT!
THIS IS STEPHANIE TANNER,
UNCLE JESSE'S OTHER NIECE.
NOW LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY.
HELP!
TELL UNCLE JESSE THE
BABY'S COUGHING REAL BAD.
HERE, LISTEN.
Cough! Cough! Cough!
[COUGH COUGH] [COUGH]
AHH...
AHH...
[COUGH COUGH]
SEE? THE BABY'S
COUGHING REALLY LOUD.
UNCLE JESSE'S THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN GET HER TO
TAKE HER COUGH MEDICINE
PROMISE ME YOU'LL
TELL HIM. THANKS.
I LIED. I HATE TO LIE.
BUT IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
I GUESS.
BUT IF YOU COULD
COUGH A FEW TIMES,
I'D FEEL A LOT BETTER
ABOUT THIS WHOLE DIRTY BUSINESS.
[COUGH]
THANK YOU.
♪ GOT THE SKI
BUNNY BLUES, CHILD ♪
♪ MMM, I LOVE THEM ♪
♪ GOT THE SKI BUNNY... ♪
HI, GUYS.
HEY, SAMANTHA.
GOD, THIS SPORT REALLY
IS A PAIN IN THE BUTT.
YOUR FAMILY JUST CALLED.
THE BABY'S SICK.
MICHELLE'S SICK?
WHAT DOES SHE HAVE?
COUGH, I THINK.
OH.
WELL, JOEY AND DANNY ARE THERE.
THE PEDIATRICIAN.
I'M SURE SHE'LL BE FINE.
LET'S DO SOME BOYS
ARE BACK IN TOWN.
ALL RIGHT. SHE'LL BE OK.
HERE WE GO. 1, 2, 3, 4...
♪ THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN ♪
♪ GUESS WHO JUST
GOT BACK TODAY... ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ BABY LOVE ♪
♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪
♪ I NEED YOU, OH,
HOW I NEED YOU ♪
♪ BUT ALL YOU DO
IS TREAT ME BAD ♪
♪ BREAK MY HEART
AND LEAVE ME SAD ♪
♪ TELL ME, WHAT DID I DO WRONG ♪
♪ TO MAKE YOU
STAY AWAY SO LONG ♪
♪ 'CAUSE, BABY LOVE ♪
♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪
♪ BEEN MISSIN' YOU ♪
♪ MISS KISSIN' YOU ♪
♪ INSTEAD OF BREAKING UP ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ LET'S DO SOME
KISSIN' AND MAKING UP ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ IN MY ARMS WHY
DON'T YOU STAY ♪
♪ NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU ♪
♪ BABY LOVE ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, BABY LOVE ♪
♪ BABY LOVE ♪
♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪
♪ WHY MUST WE
SEPARATE, MY LOVE ♪
♪ ALL OF MY WHOLE LIFE THROUGH ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ I NEVER LOVED NO ONE BUT YOU ♪
♪ DON'T THROW OUR LOVE AWAY ♪
♪ WHY YOU DO ME LIKE YOU DO ♪
♪ I GET THIS NEED ♪
♪ BABY, BABY, BABY ♪
♪ OOH ♪
♪ NEED YOU BAD ♪
♪ OOH, NEED TO HOLD
YOU ONCE AGAIN, MY LOVE ♪
♪ FEEL YOUR WARM
EMBRACE, MY LOVE ♪
♪ DON'T THROW
OUR LOVE AWAY... ♪♪
♪ THE BOYS ARE
BACK IN TOWN... ♪♪
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
HOLD IT DOWN A SECOND.
I GOT TO CALL HOME.
WHAT'S WRONG?
THE KID IS SICK.
I'M HER UNCLE.
SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME.
DAMN, IT'S BUSY.
I'M SORRY GUYS, BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN GIVE HER HER COUGH MEDICINE,
AND I'M THE BEST AT
SINGING HER TO SLEEP.
SORRY, FELLAS. I GOT TO SPLIT.
MICHELLE NEEDS ME.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
BUT YOU KNEW WHEN
WE GOT INVOLVED
THERE WERE OTHER
WOMEN IN MY LIFE.
YES! OK.
OK. HERE'S THE SHOT.
I'M GONNA JUMP OVER THE
COUCH, SPIN AROUND 3 TIMES,
DRIVE TO THE HOOP,
DOUBLE PUMP TWICE,
FINISHING OFF WITH A REVERSE
TOMAHAWK MONSTER JAM.
IS THIS BEFORE OR AFTER
YOU SPIN STRAW INTO GOLD?
OH, YEAH? WATCH THIS!
I'D LIKE TO SEE MICHAEL
JORDAN SINK A SHOT LIKE THAT
WITH A COUCH ON THE COURT.
HOW IS SHE?
JESSE! HEY, BUDDY.
WHERE'S MICHELLE? DO I NEED
TO GIVE HER HER COUGH MEDICINE?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?
SOMEBODY CALLED AND
SAID MICHELLE WAS VERY SICK.
MICHELLE'S FINE.
SHE'S FINE?
THANK GOD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE'S FINE?
DO YOU REALIZE I'VE BEEN DRIVING
FOR 4 HOURS FROM LAKE TAHOE
ON MY MOTORCYCLE
IN THE FREEZING COLD
BEHIND A CATTLE TRUCK?
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU,
YOU MADE EXCELLENT TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
WHICH ONE OF YOU CALLED?
MUST HAVE BEEN THE GIRLS.
I THINK YOU REALLY SHOOK
'EM UP THE WAY YOU TOOK OFF.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN THAT,
BUT IT WAS
SOMETHING I HAD TO DO.
JESSE, HANG ON. TALK TO US.
MAYBE WE CAN HELP YOU.
LOOK, GUYS, EVER SINCE I'VE
BEEN OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL,
I'VE DONE WHAT I WANTED WHENEVER
I WANTED WITH WHOEVER I WANTED.
I'VE HAD NO ONE TO ANSWER TO,
NOBODY TO WORRY
ABOUT BUT MYSELF... ME.
SO I TOOK OFF TO FIND THAT GUY.
I WAS HANGING WITH MY BUDDIES,
PLAYING MUSIC...
THEN I GET THIS CALL.
MICHELLE'S SICK.
BAM! I COME RUNNING BACK
RIGHT INTO MISTER
ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD.
I'M SORRY, GUYS.
I DON'T THINK IT'S
WHERE I WANT TO BE.
JESSE, WAIT!
YOU'RE GOING ABOUT THIS WRONG.
MAYBE WHEN YOU MOVED IN
HERE, YOU LOST SOMETHING.
BUT LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE GAINED.
WHAT HAVE I GAINED?
I'LL GIVE YOU A PERFECT EXAMPLE.
WHY DID YOU COME RUSHING
BACK HERE TO CHECK A COUGH?
BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MICHELLE.
BUT I CARED ABOUT
MICHELLE BEFORE I MOVED IN.
BUT BEFORE YOU MOVED IN,
THE GIRLS WERE JUST YOUR NIECES.
YOU STOPPED BY 4 TIMES A YEAR
TO GIVE THEM BIRTHDAY
AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT
ANYMORE, IS IT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW
IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO THOSE 3 GIRLS?
YOU'VE BEEN THERE EVERY TIME
THOSE GIRLS HAVE NEEDED YOU.
CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME
THAT YOU CAN FORGET
ABOUT THE PAST 7 MONTHS
AND GO BACK TO VISITS ON
BIRTHDAYS AND CHRISTMAS?
THEY DO LOVE ME, DON'T THEY?
THEY REALLY LOVE ME, DON'T THEY?
HA HA HA HA.
WELL, CAN YOU BLAME THEM?
FEELS PRETTY GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
I'M GOING TO TELL
YOU GUYS SOMETHING,
BUT YOU BETTER NOT TELL
ANY OF MY FRIENDS I SAID THIS.
I THINK I'M REALIZING
THAT BEING PART OF THIS FAMILY
IS FILLING AN EMPTY...
AN EMPTY SPACE IN MY HEART
THAT I DIDN'T EVEN
KNOW WAS THERE.
JESSE, WE CAN MAKE
THIS EASIER FOR YOU.
YOU CAN TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
WHENEVER YOU NEED IT.
YEAH, DON'T WAIT
TILL IT BUILDS UP INSIDE
AND YOU GOTTA RUN
AWAY FROM HOME AGAIN.
IF YOU NEED TO TAKE
OFF FOR A FEW DAYS,
FINE. WE'LL COVER FOR YOU.
YEAH, WE'LL MAKE THIS WORK.
WILL YOU STAY OUT OF MY ROOM?
I'LL TRY.
SO, LASSIE'S COMING HOME?
YEAH, YEAH, LASSIE'S
COMING HOME.
I GOT TO HUG SOMEBODY.
ME, TOO.
GO NUTS.
HEY, WATCH IT.
SORRY, KID.
UNCLE JESSE! YOU'RE
BACK, YOU'RE BACK,
YOU'RE BACK, YOU'RE
BACK, YOU'RE BACK!
D.J., GET IN HERE, QUICK!
UNCLE JESSE'S BACK!
OUR PLAN WORKED!
UNCLE JESSE! YOU'RE BACK!
HEY!
WELL, I WAS IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD...
ARE YOU HERE TO STAY
OR PICK UP YOUR
STUFF AND LEAVE AGAIN?
COME HERE, GIRLS. SIT DOWN.
COME HERE, D.J.
I CAME BACK
BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT MICHELLE,
AND BECAUSE I MISSED YOU TWO.
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
DOES THIS MEAN YOU'LL
NEVER LEAVE AGAIN?
I CAN'T PROMISE YOU
I'LL LIVE HERE FOREVER,
BUT WHAT I CAN PROMISE IS...
I'M ALWAYS GOING
TO BE YOUR UNCLE,
AND I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE
WHEN YOU TWO NEED ME.
AND I'LL ALWAYS LOVE
YOU TWO KNUCKLEHEADS
VERY, VERY MUCH.
CROSS YOUR HEART
AND HOPE TO DIE?
PINKIE SWEAR!
OH! HE DOES MEAN BUSINESS!
YOU'RE UP.
HERE.
I DROVE 4 HOURS IN
THE FREEZING COLD
ON MY MOTORCYCLE BEHIND A
CATTLE TRUCK TO GIVE YOU THIS.
HERE YOU GO.
NOT IMPRESSED, ARE YOU?
MICHELLE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU A SECOND?
WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE,
I THOUGHT IT WOULD JUST
BE FOR A FEW MONTHS,
YOU KNOW, JUST TO HELP OUT,
THEN I'D GET ON WITH MY LIFE.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS MY LIFE.
THIS IS WHERE I'M
SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT NOW.
COME HERE.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT
YOU PUT ME THROUGH?
I WAS WITH THE MOST
INCREDIBLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD.
OVER 2 YEARS
OLD, THAT IS. SORRY.
ANYWAY, FROM THE MOMENT
I HEARD YOU WERE SICK,
ALL I COULD DO WAS
THINK OF THIS FACE.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS FACE, HUH?
[GIGGLES]
GOOD ANSWER.
GOOD NIGHT, KID.
DA.
CAN I GET A KISS?
YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
YOU LITTLE MUNCHKIN?
I LOVE YOU.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.