Full House (1987–1995): Season 1, Episode 13 - Sisterly Love - full transcript

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪

♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪

♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪

♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪

♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪

♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪

♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪

♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU ARE ♪



♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪

♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪

♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ SHOOBY DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE



AMERICA'S NEWEST SUPERSTAR,

OUR OWN MINI MERYL STREEP,

MISS DONNA JO TANNER!

BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

WHAT AN AFTERNOON OF THEATER.

D.J. AS THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS

IN THE FROG PRINCE.

I LAUGHED, I CRIED, I
LEARNED ABOUT LIFE.

I WISH I WOULDN'T HAVE
MISSED THE ENDING.

MICHELLE, WHY'D YOU
HAVE TO START CRYING, HUH?

'CAUSE SHE WAS SO MOVED
BY D.J.'s PERFORMANCE...

OR SHE HAD GAS.

[BLOWS A RASPBERRY]

D.J., DO IT AGAIN FOR JOEY.

YEAH. COULD YOU PLEASE, DEEJ?

I'D LOVE TO, BUT I NEED A FROG.

WHAT, DO I LOOK LIKE A FROG?

JUST CHECKING.

OK, LET'S DO IT.

YOU GUYS NEED A FRONT
ROW SEAT. FRONT ROW SEAT.

OK, JESSE, GET ON THE FLOOR

AND TRY TO ACT LIKE A FROG.

HOW'S THIS?

OOH, I JUST WANT
TO DIP YOUR LEGS

IN GARLIC BUTTER.

OH, FROG, WHY DOES
THE WORLD FORCE US

TO MEET IN SECRET?

[RIBBIT]

DO NOT ALL OF GOD'S CREATURES

SHARE THE HEART
THAT FEELS PAIN, LOVE,

JOY AND SORROW?

[SNIFFLES]

[RIBBIT]

IF MY TRUE LOVE IS A
FROG, THEN SO BE IT.

[GASPS]

MY PRINCESS!

MY PRINCE!

YAY! YAY!

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

SSSSSSS. OOH, THE GIRL IS HOT.

THIS ACTING THING IS SO COOL.

UH, HEY, DANIEL,

YOU'VE GOT A MAJOR TALENT HERE.

YOU KNOW PEOPLE IN SHOW BIZ.

WHY DON'T YOU MAKE SOME CALLS?

MAYBE SHE COULD
AUDITION FOR, LIKE,

A COMMERCIAL OR SOMETHING.

GREAT IDEA, UNCLE JESSE!

OH, YEAH, GREAT
IDEA, UNCLE JESSE.

UH, D.J., HONEY,
I'LL ASK AROUND,

BUT DON'T GET YOUR
HOPES UP TOO HIGH, OK?

I UNDERSTAND, DAD.

WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS.

BUT I HOPE IT HAPPENS THIS WEEK.

IF I KISS YOU, WILL YOU
TURN BACK INTO A FROG?

ALL RIGHT, MICHELLE,
YOU'VE GOT TO BE SICK

AND TIRED OF ALL THAT
STRAINED BABY GRUB

THEY GIVE YOU AROUND HERE.

HERE. HERE'S A CORNED
BEEF SANDWICH ON RYE

WITH A BIG, FAT, KOSHER PICKLE.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU
WANT ON THE SIDE?

POTATO SALAD OR COLE SLAW?

JUST THE PICKLE? OK.

HEY, JESSE. HEY, MICHELLE.

JESSE... WHY IS
MICHELLE EATING A PICKLE

AND A CORNED BEEF SANDWICH?

'CAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TIME

TO MAKE BUFFALO CHICKEN WINGS.

I'LL TAKE THAT, THANK YOU.

HEY, JESS, DANNY, MICHELLE.

JOSEPH, YOU DID SOME SHOPPING.

VERY NICE. HEY, YOU
WANT A SANDWICH?

A CORNED BEEF SANDWICH ON RYE?

NO, THANK YOU.

YOU DON'T WANT A
CORNED BEEF ON RYE?

IT'S EXTRA FATTY.

NO, THANKS.

WHY WOULD I WANT THAT

WHEN I HAVE MEATLESS
VEGETABLE CUTLETS,

MARINATED TOFU SQUARES,

SALT-FREE RICE CRACKERS...

WHAT DID YOU DO,
WIN A HARE KRISHNA

FAMILY PUBLISHER SWEEPSTAKES?

ISN'T THAT THE ONE
WITH ED McMAHON

IN THE ORANGE ROBE
WITH A SHAVED HEAD?

HEY, YOU GUYS CAN MAKE
FUN OF MY FOOD ALL YOU WANT.

I GOT SOME TEST RESULTS
BACK FROM MY DOCTOR.

HE SAID MY CHOLESTEROL
LEVEL'S A LITTLE HIGH,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS START
EXERCISING A LITTLE MORE.

GOOD. EXERCISE IS
GOOD FOR YOU, JOSEPH.

EAT LESS SATURATED FATS.

NO FATS. KEEP YOU SLIM.

AND I'VE DECIDED TO COMPLETELY

GIVE UP JUNK FOOD.

WHAT, YOU GUYS
DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT?

GOOD SANDWICH.
MIGHTY GOOD SANDWICH.

MMM.

YOU ARE TALKING TO
MR. WILLPOWER, DUDES.

IT JUST SO HAPPENS I
GAVE UP SMOKING LIKE THAT.

JOEY, I'VE KNOWN YOU
FOREVER. WHEN DID YOU SMOKE?

WHEN I WAS 12. I
SMOKED 4 CIGARETTES,

MY DAD CAUGHT ME, AND
I STOPPED COLD TURKEY.

OK. BACK TO MY LIFE.

LOOK, GUYS, I CALLED
UP A CASTING DIRECTOR

AS SOMEONE SO
THOUGHTFULLY SUGGESTED

RIGHT IN FRONT OF D.J.

THANKS, FROG-BOY.

[RIBBIT]

ANYWAY, IT TURNS OUT

THERE'S AN AUDITION NEXT WEEK

FOR SOME CEREAL COMMERCIAL.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I
SHOULD TELL D.J. ABOUT IT.

DANIEL, IN LIFE, WHEN
SOMETHING COMES ALONG,

YOU MUST GRAB IT.
D.J.'s GOING FOR IT.

WRONG YET ONE MORE TIME.

WHY?

D.J.'s GONNA GET ALL EXCITED,

SHE'S GONNA GET BEAT OUT BY

SOME PROFESSIONAL KIDDIE ACTOR,

AND SHE'S GONNA
FEEL LIKE A LOSER

FOR NO REASON AT
ALL. DON'T PUT HER

THROUGH IT. GO FOR IT.

DON'T PUT HER THROUGH IT.

THIS IS THE HARD PART
ABOUT BEING A PARENT.

EVERY DECISION WE MAKE
COULD DRASTICALLY ALTER

THE LIVES OF MY
CHILDREN FOREVER.

JOEY'S RIGHT.

DON'T PUT HER THROUGH IT.

HEY, DON'T LISTEN TO ME.

JESSE'S RIGHT. SHE
SHOULD GO FOR IT.

HEY, PAL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,

AND THERE'S NOT A MAN IN
THIS ROOM THAT CAN SAY I DO.

MAYBE I SHOULD TALK
THIS OVER WITH D.J.

INSTEAD OF GOMER AND GOOBER.

IF YOU THINK THAT'S BEST.

YOU'RE THE DAD. RIGHT.

FEED MY KID, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT. FEED THE KID, GOMER.

OK, GOOB.

JESS, THINK ABOUT IT.
EVERY DECISION WE MAKE

COULD POSSIBLY
AFFECT THESE GIRLS

FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

WHAT SHOULD WE FEED MICHELLE?

STRAINED BROCCOLI
OR STRAINED PEAS?

DON'T ASK ME.

MICHELLE, IT'S UP TO YOU.

NOW REMEMBER,
THAT'S YOUR DECISION.

MM-HMM.

HI, HONEY. HOMEWORK?

YEAH. WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT

THE BILL OF RIGHTS.

DOES FREEDOM OF
SPEECH MEAN I CAN SAY

ANYTHING I WANT
AROUND THE HOUSE?

SURE, BUT DON'T FORGET.
I HAVE FREEDOM OF...

"SAY THAT AGAIN, AND
YOU'RE GROUNDED."

LOOK, D.J., THERE'S... D.J...

D.J., THERE'S
SOMETHING I WANT YOU

TO THINK ABOUT VERY CAREFULLY.

I CALLED A CASTING DIRECTOR,

AND THERE'S AN
AUDITION NEXT WEEK

FOR A CEREAL COMMERCIAL.

GREAT! I WANT TO DO IT.

HONEY, YOU REALIZE THE
CHANCES OF GETTING THIS JOB

ARE VERY, VERY
TINY. MICROSCOPIC.

I WANT TO DO IT.

IF YOU DO THIS, IT
SHOULD BE FOR FUN.

I DON'T WANT YOU
TO FEEL DISAPPOINTED

IF YOU DON'T GET IT.

LISTEN TO ME, DAD.
I WANT TO DO IT.

I UNDERSTAND YOU WANT TO DO IT.

BUT WILL YOU CONSIDER ALL THIS

BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR DECISION?

SURE, DAD.

OK.

I WANT TO DO IT.

OK, THIS IS IT. GIRLS.

[SIGHS] THEY ALL LOOK
SO PROFESSIONAL.

VERY NICE AUDITION, KAREN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, VIVIAN.

IT FELT GOOD FOR ME, TOO.

WHY DON'T I LEAVE YOU MY
NEW PICTURE AND RESUME?

WELL, I HOPE I'LL BE
HEARING FROM YOU SOON.

CIAO. UH-HUH.

WAS THAT A LITTLE KID
OR A TINY GROWNUP?

STEPH, WHY DON'T
YOU GO OVER THERE

AND DO SOME COLORING, OK?

UNCLE JESSE, THIS WAS A MISTAKE.

I DON'T HAVE A PICTURE.
I DON'T HAVE A RESUME.

ALL I DID WAS KISS A FROG.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL TAKE
CARE OF THIS FOR YOU,

ALL RIGHT?

MAY I CALL YOU
VIV? HI, VIV. LISTEN,

I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU

A VERY TALENTED ACTRESS,
MISS DONNA JO TANNER.

LOOK AT THAT FACE.

NICE FACE. JUST SIGN IN

AND LEAVE YOUR
PICTURE AND RESUME

AT THE DESK.

BUT I DON'T HAVE A PICTURE.

YES, YOU DO!

SEE? RIGHT HERE.

I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE HAIR.

HEY, MOMS AND DADS,
COME REAL CLOSE TO THE SET.

SEND ALL THE KIDS
OUT OF THE ROOM.

ARE THEY GONE?
GOOD. I'VE GOT A SECRET.

OAT BOATS ARE CHOCKED
FULL OF VITAMINS AND MINERALS,

BUT DON'T LET YOUR KIDS KNOW.

THEY'LL EAT THEM ANYWAYS
'CAUSE THEY TASTE SO GREAT.

YEAH, OAT BOATS!

NOW REMEMBER, THIS
IS OUR LITTLE SECRET.

IF THE WORD GETS OUT,
I'LL DENY EVERYTHING.

OH, BEAUTIFUL! THAT WAS GREAT!

THAT WAS SO...

I'M SORRY. I WAS
TOUCHED. I WAS MOVED.

KIDS WILL LOVE HER. I DO.

AND SO DO I.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TERRIFIC.

I WANT YOU TO STAY AND DO IT

ONE MORE TIME FOR MR. BENTON.

HE MAKES THE FINAL DECISION.

YES!

I MEAN, VERY WELL.

[SQUEALS]

UM, EXCUSE ME. DO I
HAVE TIME TO DO MY HAIR

BEFORE MR. BENTON GETS HERE?

SURE, NO PROBLEM.

ALL RIGHT. I GOTTA GO
PUT CHANGE IN THE METER.

STEPH, YOU STAY RIGHT
HERE AND BE GOOD, OK?

ALL RIGHT.

YES!

MISS VIVIAN,

CAN I PLEASE HAVE
A LITTLE CEREAL?

D.J. WAS SO GOOD,

SHE MADE ME WANT TO EAT SOME.

KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. THANKS.

I LOVE OAT BOAT RACES.

IT'S THE STRAWBERRY
AGAINST THE BANANA!

AND THEY'RE OFF!

IT'S A BANANA! IT'S
A STRAWBERRY!

AND THE BANANA WINS.

FIRST PRIZE IS A
TRIP TO MY MOUTH.

I LOVE IT!

I DIDN'T THINK WE WERE
GONNA GO THIS YOUNG,

BUT THIS LITTLE
GIRL IS ADORABLE.

VIVIAN, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN.

WELL, MR. BENTON,

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GO

WITH YOUR INSTINCTS.

CONGRATULATIONS, YOUNG LADY,

YOU'RE THE NEW OAT BOAT GIRL.

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT?!

WELL, HERE WE GO.

SOME OF MY SPECIAL SEAWEED
PROTEIN WHEAT GERM TONIC.

CHOLESTEROL FREE.

D.J. DEEJ?

SOMETHING TELLS ME
THINGS DIDN'T GO SO GREAT

AT THE AUDITION, DID THEY?

OH, NO.

WE TALKED ABOUT
HOW THIS MIGHT HAPPEN.

THEY PROBABLY JUST GAVE THE PART

TO SOMEBODY'S RELATIVE.

OH, YEAH.

HELLO.

I KNOW... D.J. DIDN'T
GET THE PART.

HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW.

STEPH DID.

STEPHANIE GOT THE PART?

THAT'S WONDERFUL!

I'M REALLY SORRY.

BUT, THAT'S WONDERFUL!

I'M REALLY SORRY.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

IF I SAID, HEY, THAT'S
SHOW BIZ, BABE,

THAT WOULDN'T GET ME
OFF THE HOOK, WOULD IT?

NO. NO.

HEY, CHEER UP.
THERE'S A BRIGHT SIDE.

WHAT'S THAT?

I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

D.J., ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

WHY WOULD I BE MAD AT YOU?

BECAUSE I... OH, NO REASON.

I'M NOT MAD. I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

WAY TO GO, STEPH.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME, I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO.

[STOMPING]

[DOOR SLAMS]

IS IT OK TO BE HAPPY?

OF COURSE IT IS, SWEETHEART.

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

STEPHANIE, FOR
YOUR SISTER'S SAKE,

BE HAPPY A LITTLE QUIETER.

I got it. I got it.

MICHELLE, ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANT THIS?

ARE YOU SURE?

IT'S SO... JUICY... SO MEATY...

SO SATURATED.

SO WHAT!

JOEY, ARE YOU IN THERE?

JOEY, WE'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR YOU. WHERE YOU BEEN?

MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

BEAUTIFUL BABY.

WHERE DID THE SMALL
FRY GET THE FRENCH FRY?

MUST HAVE BEEN THERE FOR WEEKS.

IT'S STILL WARM.

AH... AND LOOK AT THIS.

[GASPS] OH, MY GOODNESS,

IT LOOKS AS THOUGH
MICHELLE HAS TODDLED UP

TO THE DRIVE-THROUGH
WINDOW AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT, I'M WEAK, I'M WEAK!

I'M NOT MR. WILLPOWER,
I'M MR. CHOLESTEROL.

JOEY, YOU WENT FROM
ALL JUNK FOOD TO ALL...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE
HELL YOU'VE BEEN EATING.

THERE'S ANOTHER CHOICE HERE.

TRY MODERATION. MORE
FRUIT. MORE FIBER. LESS FAT.

AND WE'LL HELP
OUT. I'LL START BY

HELPING YOU EAT

THIS BURGER AND
FRIES. THANK YOU.

COME HERE, MICHELLE.

GUYS, LOOK. I'VE GOT TO
GET BACK TO THE STATION, OK?

LISTEN TO ME. THIS
IS REAL IMPORTANT.

KEEP AN EYE ON
D.J. AND STEPHANIE.

RIGHT NOW, THEY'RE
AVOIDING EACH OTHER,

BUT I HAVE A FEELING
THAT'S ONLY TEMPORARY,

CONSIDERING THEY
SHARE A BEDROOM.

ALL RIGHT. WE'LL
TAKE CARE OF IT.

WE GOT IT.

BYE-BYE, MICHELLE.

AND PLEASE, DON'T
EVER GO INTO ACTING.

MWAH!

"I LOVE OAT BOATS
BECAUSE STEPHANIE

"TAKES HEAPING
SPOONFUL OF CEREAL.

THEY TASTE GREAT.
SHE TAKES A BITE."

[GIGGLES]

OH, I'M SORRY. GO
AHEAD. REHEARSE.

"I LOVE OAT BOATS

BECAUSE STEPHANIE
TAKES HEAPING SPOON..."

[GIGGLES]

IF I'M DOING SOMETHING WRONG,

WILL YOU HELP ME?

YOU DIDN'T NEED ANY HELP
WHEN YOU STOLE MY PART.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME?

DON'T BE SILLY. I'M
GLAD I DIDN'T GET IT.

YOU'LL MISS A LOT OF SCHOOL
DOING THAT COMMERCIAL,

AND THEY'LL PROBABLY
LEAVE YOU BACK.

I THINK YOU'RE JEALOUS.

ME, JEALOUS?

BUT I AM HUNGRY.

FINE. YOU CAN HAVE IT.

GIVE ME THAT RIGHT NOW!

GIVE ME IT!

NO WAY, JOSE.

GIVE ME IT! YOU'RE A THIEF!

YOU'RE JEALOUS!

THIEF! JEALOUS!

GIVE ME THAT, STEPHANIE JUDITH!

NO, DONNA JO MARGARET!

AAH!

WHY AM I CRAWLING?

HEY, YOU GUYS.

LADIES, LADIES, LADIES. WHOA!

SHE STOLE MY CEREAL!

SHE STOLE MY PART!

JEALOUS! THIEF!

WELL, WE GOT THAT ALL
OUT OF OUR SYSTEMS.

WHY DON'T YOU TWO JUST
GIVE EACH OTHER A NICE KISS

AND MAKE UP.

ALL RIGHT. COME HERE, YOU. HERE.

YOU TAKE YOUR OAT BOATS

AND GO PRACTICE IN
THE LIVING ROOM, OK?

STEPHANIE JUDITH.

DONNA JO MARGARET.

MARGARET?

D.J., WHY DON'T YOU
WAIT DOWNSTAIRS,

AND WE'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.

BUT YOU SAID... D.J.

[OAT BOATS CRUNCH]

D.J., WE NEED TO TALK.

LET ME SAVE YOU
A LOT OF TROUBLE.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M
WRONG, AND I DON'T CARE.

LISTEN, D.J. JESSE
AND I STRIKE OUT

ON AUDITIONS ALL THE TIME.

BEING A PERFORMER

IS BASICALLY A
SERIES OF REJECTIONS

OCCASIONALLY
INTERRUPTED BY WORK.

OH, YEAH? WELL, DID EITHER
OF YOU HAVE A PART STOLEN

BY YOUR LITTLE SISTER?

[SIGHS]

YOU KNOW SOMETHING? SHE'S RIGHT.

D.J., YOU'RE RIGHT.

STEPHANIE STOLE THAT PART
RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER YOU.

IN FACT, SHE PLANNED
THIS WHOLE THING.

SHE TRICKED US INTO
BRINGING HER ALONG,

PRETENDING THAT
SHE CARES ABOUT YOU.

THE CONNIVING LITTLE SNEAK.

AND THEN YOU FELL

INTO STEPHANIE'S
FIENDISH LITTLE TRAP

BY DOING A GREAT AUDITION.

THE MONSTER.

MEANWHILE, THE
SINISTER LITTLE STEPHANIE,

SHE USED HER TELEKINETIC POWERS

TO SEND US OUT OF THE ROOM

SO SHE COULD STEAL
YOUR COMMERCIAL. OOH!

I SAY WE LIGHT SOME TORCHES,

FIND THE SHE-DEVIL,

AND DRIVE HER INTO THE NIGHT!

OK, YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT.

SHE DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE.

BUT I'M STILL MAD AT HER.

UHH!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, KIDDO.

I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT'S EATING YOU.

ALL RIGHT, PAL. COME ON.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? TELL US.

I DON'T KNOW. I'M
SO SICK OF SISTERS.

EVERYTHING WAS JUST
FINE WHEN IT WAS JUST ME.

THEN STEPHANIE CAME ALONG,

AND EVERYONE SAID
SHE WAS SO-O-O CUTE.

NOW EVERYONE SAYS
MICHELLE IS SO-O-O CUTE.

IT'S SO-O-O DISGUSTING.

WELL, WAS IT SO-O-O DISGUSTING

WHEN YOU DID THE PLAY

AND EVERYONE THOUGHT
YOU WERE SO-O-O CUTE?

NO, THAT WAS FINE.

UNTIL ONE OF THE
SO-O-O CUTE SISTERS

RUINED EVERYTHING AGAIN.

AW, BUDDY. IT'S TOUGH
BEING THE OLDEST,

BUT YOU CAN'T
OVERLOOK THE BENEFITS.

I MEAN, YOU GET EVERYTHING NEW.

NO HAND-ME-DOWNS.

AND YOU GET TO DO
EVERYTHING FIRST.

THAT'S RIGHT... DATE.

DRIVE.

YOU'RE THE FIRST TO BE ADMITTED

TO AN R-RATED PICTURE.

WITHOUT A PARENT OR
A LEGAL GUARDIAN, HUH?

BUT THE BEST PART IS...

YOU GOT 2 LITTLE SISTERS...

WHO NEED YOU AND
LOOK UP TO YOU...

AND LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SHOULD WE LIGHT THE
TORCHES, FIND THE BEAST,

AND DRIVE HER INTO THE DARKNESS?

I GUESS NOT.

BUT IF WE DID, I'D STILL
HAVE ONE LITTLE SISTER LEFT.

NOOGIE! AAH!

HELLO, INFORMATION?

I NEED TO TALK TO MR. BOAT.

MR. OAT BOAT.

I NEED TO TALK TO MR. BOAT.

I CAN'T DO HIS COMMERCIAL.

HIS CEREAL IS TEARING
MY FAMILY APART.

STEPH, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

MY SISTER'S HERE.
CAN I PUT YOU ON HOLD?

HELLO?

HELLO?

HOW RUDE.

I'M SORRY I STOLE YOUR PART.

YOU DIDN'T STEAL IT ON PURPOSE.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

THAT'S TRUE.

I NEVER KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

BUT YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT ONE THING.

I WAS A LITTLE JEALOUS.

THAT'S OK. I'M ALWAYS
JEALOUS OF YOU.

REALLY? UH-HUH.

THAT'S WHY I FOLLOW
YOU AROUND AND BUG YOU.

I THINK YOU'RE THE SMARTEST,

PRETTIEST, FUNNEST GIRL I KNOW.

EXCEPT WHEN YOU HATE ME.

I DON'T HATE YOU. I
WAS JUST MAD AT YOU,

AND SOMEDAY I'LL PROBABLY
BE MAD AT YOU AGAIN.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHEN

SO I CAN GO VISIT GRANDMA?

THAT WAS FUNNY, STEPH.

WELL, I KNOW THE RULE IS

YOU HAVE TO LOVE
YOUR LITTLE SISTER,

BUT EVEN IF YOU WERE
SOME STRANGE LITTLE KID

WHO LIVED IN MY ROOM,
I'D LOVE YOU ANYWAYS.

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

REALLY? I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND?

YEP.

WELL, THAT WORKS OUT
GREAT BECAUSE YOU'RE MINE.

BUT DO WE REALLY NEED MICHELLE?

YEAH. YOU'LL LIKE HER BETTER

WHEN SHE'S OLD
ENOUGH TO PUSH AROUND.

NOW LET'S WORK ON THAT SCRIPT.

OK.

NOW, WHERE IT SAYS HERE,

"STEPHANIE TAKES
HEAPING SPOONFUL,"

YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY THAT.

YOU JUST DO IT. NO!

YEAH.

WOW. THIS ACTING IS TOUGH.

I WONDER IF YOGI BEAR
HAD THIS KIND OF TROUBLE.

CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.