Friends (1994–2004): Season 4, Episode 21 - The One with the Invitation - full transcript

As Ross and Emily send out wedding invitations, he and Rachel each look back on their relationship together while Joey and Chandler look for a purpose in life.

All of a sudden,
so much is happening.

I know. Ross is getting married.

Phoebe's making people.

- Everybody's doing stuff.
- We just sit here.

If I died,
people would know I was here...

only by the ass print
on this chair!

- What are we doing?
- Wasting our lives.

I meant for lunch.

We have to do something.
Something huge!

We could climb Mt. Everest.

Not something stupid.
Something huge!



I saw an ad for this video.

People climb that thing every day.
We could totally do that!

Why not?
I mean, it's just climbing.

- It's just steep!
- Yeah.

We're going! It'd be nice
to leave an ass print on Everest.

What's up?

- We're gonna climb Mt. Everest.
- Yeah, baby!

I looked into that.

Yeah, but it costs like $60,000,
and, you know, you could die.

And you would die.

We could get that Everest video.

We could do that
without risking our lives at all.

While we're at the video store,
we could rent Die Hard!

I just remembered.



That Everest thing is only available
through mail order.

So you'll stay here
and hang out with me?

But one of these days...

we'll get off our butts
and rent Die Hard again!

The One with the lnvitation

That was fast. It usually takes me
hours to get Ben to go down for his nap.

He's such a sweetheart.
Do you know what he said?

- Good night, mommy.
- That's because he has lots of mommies.

Yeah, in fact, it's kind of become
his word for "woman".

So does your uncle Nathan
get an invite or not?

Oh, God! Nobody likes him.

He's so cheap. He'd never fly
to London in a million years.

Invite him!

Did I do these neat enough?

Yeah, they're fine.

We'll say that Ben addressed them.

You invited Rachel then?

Sure, why not?

Really?

I wouldn't be comfortable having
any of my old lovers there.

Do you think
we shouldn't invite her?

You know I absolutely adore Rachel.

It's just that I thought
it might be awkward for you.

But it's absolutely your decision.

- More tea?
- Sure.

Earl Grey?

Fine, invite whoever you want.

I don't want to be single, okay?
I just want to be married again.

And I just want a million dollars!

Oh God, Monica. Thank God!

This is Rachel.
Another Lincoln High survivor.

This is Chandler.

Phoebe.

Joey.

- Do you remember Ross?
- Sure.

Back in high school...

I had a major crush on you.

I knew.

You did?

I figured you thought
I was Monica's geeky brother.

I did.

Listen, do you think

Try not to let my intense
vulnerability become a factor.

Would it be okay
if I asked you out sometime?

Maybe.

Okay, maybe I will.

See, I see...

big passion in your future.

- Really?
- I do.

Ross, you're so great.

It's never gonna happen.

I have a question.

Actually, it's not
so much a question.

It's more of a general wondering...

ment.

Well, for a while now,
I've been wanting to....

Yes, yes.

That's right.

Look!

What?

Top of the world looking

Down on creation

And the only explanation I can find

Listen, missy! If you want this cart,
you'll have to take me with it!

- Did you see that?
- You were incredible!

A brand-new woman,
ladies and gentlemen.

I could not have done this
without you.

More clothes in the dryer?

I'm fine.

You had no right to tell me
you had feelings for me.

I was doing great with Julie
before I found out.

I was doing great too. It's not
easy for me to see you with Julie.

I don't need this right now.

It's too late.

I'm with somebody else.
This ship has sailed!

All right, fine!
Go ahead and do that.

I don't need your stupid ship!

This is the first time I'm doing
something I care about.

I'm doing something
that I'm actually good at.

If you don't get that

I get that, but I'm tired
of your answering machine.

I don't know what to do.

Neither do l!

Is this about Mark?

Oh, my God!

Okay, it's not.

I can't keep having this
same fight over and over again.

You're making this too hard!

I am? What do you want me to do?

I don't know. Look, maybe
we should just take a break.

You're right. Let's cool off.

Let's get some frozen yogurt
or something.

A break from us.

- Why are we rushing?
- The girlfriend I told you about.

She wants to get back
together with me.

I found it!

That's so great for you guys!

- Good luck with your girlfriend.
- Thank you.

- You got my message?
- You are right on time.

Can I be your girlfriend again?

You can very much.

I want you to leave. Get out!

I want to talk about this.

All right, how was she?

- What?
- Was she good?

Don't answer!

You wanted to talk about it.
How was she?

She was....

- She was not good, not good.
- Nothing compared to you.

She was different.

Good different?

Nobody likes change.

Just stop!

The way you owned up to everything.

It's just showed me
how much you've grown, you know?

I mean, my mom never thought
this would work out.

She was all,
"Once a cheater, always a cheater."

I just wish we hadn't lost
those four months.

But if time was what you needed
just to gain a little perspective.

We were on a break!

You seem to really like her.

What do I do?
We agreed it'd be a two-week thing.

No commitment.

That girl just spent the entire evening
talking to your friends...

asking to hear stories about you...

Iooking through
Monica's photo albums.

You don't do that
if you're just in it for two weeks.

You think?

You've got 14 hours until
she has to be at the airport.

And you're sitting here
in a hallway...

with a 28-year-old cheerleader
with a fat lip.

- You're right.
- Yeah.

This is so amazing!

My brother's getting married
and in London!

It's so romantic.

Hey, pretty smart!

Tissue paper.

You're at the wedding.
You have to cry.

Handkerchief?
No, I got my invitation.

Isn't this adorable?

Ross let Ben address mine.

Did you get your invitation
to Ross' wedding?

No.

Don't worry, I get to bring a guest.
We'll show him.

I'm so jealous you're all going.

I never knew you can't fly
in your third trimester.

I didn't, either.

I knew that.

So I didn't know that.
But you should see your faces.

What's up?

Just hanging out.

What's this?
Ross' wedding invitation?

Maybe that's the one
we should have hidden.

No, you guys, come on.
You don't have to do that.

I'm happy for him.

I am. I really

I'll work on it.

I'm sorry.

You're going to come, though,
aren't you?

I don't know.

This isn't one of those
"lf she doesn't come, we don't come"?

- I bought my ticket.
- You're not even invited.

You know what would be real weird?
If you weren't there.

- Just say you'll think about it.
- I'll think about it.

- Who's this from?
- That's Ross'.

Oh, my God!

He remembered.

Remembered what?

It was months ago.
We were walking by this antique store.

I saw this and told him
it was like one my grandmother had...

when I was a little girl.

I can't believe he remembered!

This must've cost a fortune.

I can't believe he did this.

Remember when he fell in love
with Carol...

and got her
that expensive crystal duck?

What did you just say?

Oh, my God!

Flight number 457
from Beijing now arriving.

Oh, my God!

- We were in school together.
- We haven't seen each other since.

I land in China.
Guess who's in charge of the dig?

Julie!

Isn't that great?

Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch,
spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

That is so sweet!

No, you hang up.

No, you

One, two, three.

You didn't hang up!

She didn't hang up either.

Okay, no. No, you hang up.

You!

Ross, hi.

It's Rachel.

I'm just calling to say
that everything's fine.

And I'm really happy for you...

and your cat.

Obviously, I am over you.

I am over you.

And that, my friend,
is what they call closure.

I got a message from you.

Oh, my God! Hang up the phone!

Give me the phone!

You're over me?

Oh, God.

You're over me?

When were you...

under me?

Basically...

Iately, I've....

I've sort of had feelings for you.

I need to lie down.

He broke up with Julie!

Go hug her, for God's sakes!

- Really?
- Really.

It's always been you, Rach.

Oh, God.

Listen, I'm sorry
I had to work tonight.

That's okay.

You're worth the wait.

And I don't just mean tonight.

Oh, God!

Honey.

That's okay.

No, you just rolled over
the juice box.

Did you say anything to Rachel about
me and the girl from the copy place?

I'm sorry.

Was I not supposed to?

You ended it!

Because I was mad at you.
Not because I stopped loving you.

You still love me?

What does this mean?
Do you want to get back together?

Maybe.

I don't know.

I just, I feel....

I can't believe I even thought of
getting back together. We're so over!

Fine by me!

And hey! Just so you know,
it's not that common.

It doesn't happen to every guy,
and it is a big deal.

I knew it!

Rachel's coming up.
Doesn't she look pretty?

Oh, my God!

This is us getting ready
for the prom.

We don't have to watch this.

Yeah, we do!

Come on!

- Get a shot of Monica.
- How do you zoom out?

There she is!

Shut up!
The camera adds 10 pounds.

So how many cameras
are actually on you?

Dad, turn it off!

It is off.

Right, Ross?

Looking good, Mr. Kotter!

I can't go to my prom without a date.
It's too late.

If you're not going,
then I don't want to go either.

I have a wonderful idea.

You should take Rachel to the prom.

We've seen enough.
Let's turn it off.

- I want to see!
- Fine, I'm not going to watch.

Come on, kid. Let's go.

Are you handsome!

Let's show them!

- Okay, Dad.
- Rachel, ready or not.

Here comes your knight in shining

Oh, dear!

How do I turn this off?

I can't believe you did that.

Yeah, well....

See? He's her lobster!

No.

You're really not going?

It's just going to be too hard.

You know, I mean...

it's Ross.

How can I watch him get married?

It's just for the best.
You know? It is.

Plus somebody's got
to stay here with Phoebe.

She's going to be pretty big by then.

She'll need someone
to help her tie her shoes.

Drive her to the hospital
if she goes into labor.

You don't have a car.

And your license expired.

There's so much to do,
and I have so little time!

Check this out.

There's a place you can go
to rent videos of all the museums.

"It's almost as good as being there."

It's better! You can't go to a museum
in your underwear.

You could, but just the one time.

We could get videos
of the sights...

get a VCR in our hotel room
and never have to go outside!

- Lf we do that, we've got to rent Die Hard.
- I bet the British version is good!