Friends (1994–2004): Season 2, Episode 7 - The One Where Ross Finds Out - full transcript
Rachel claims to be over Ross and Monica sets her up with a date. Rachel doesn't concentrate on her date and gets really drunk because she is upset that Ross and Julie are going to buy a cat together. Her date tells her she needs a "closure" to get over Ross. Rachel then calls Ross and leaves him a message saying she is over him. When Ross hears the message he is taken aback that Rachel has feelings for him and is very confused. Ross refuses to buy a cat and tells Rachel she had no right telling him about her feelings because he was ok before he knew and now he isn't. They argue and kiss - for the first time!
What is it about me?
Do I not look fun enough?
Is there something
repellent about me?
How was the party?
It couldn't have been worse.
A woman literally passed through me.
What is it?
Am I hideously unattractive?
No, you are not.
You are very attractive.
I go through the same thing.
When I put on a little weight,
I question everything.
I've put on weight?
Did you want to...?
No, not weight.
More like insulation.
I'm unemployed,
in dire need of a project.
Wanna work out?
I can remake you.
I would, but that might get
in the way of my lying-around time.
Please?
Come on, let her do it!
All right.
If we put on spandex and my boobs
are bigger than yours, I'm going home.
Your boobs are fine.
I shouldn't have said anything.
Come here. Come here!
Can't make hands meet!
The One Where Ross Finds Out
Let's do it!
What?
Nothing. Just never seen
your little stretchy pants before.
It's cute!
And we're changing.
Come on, give me five more!
Five more!
Five more and I'll flash you.
One...
...two...
...two and a half.
Just show me one of them.
She's insane!
The woman is insane.
It's before work, after work,
and during work.
She's got me doing
butt-clenches at my desk.
And now they won't
bring me my mail anymore.
Just tell her you want to stop.
I can't. All she get to work is all she can got.
So that's why we think maybe we should all picking and buy her own resterant.
Hey, Pheebs.
How'd it go with Scott?
It was nice. Took him
to a romantic restaurant...
...ordered champagne. Nice.
He still won't put out?
Nope. Zilch. Nothing.
Sorry, Pheebs.
Look, I don't mind taking it slow.
I like him a lot.
He's really interesting,
and he's really sweet.
Why won't he give it up?
Maybe he drives his car
on the other side of the road.
If you know what I mean.
No. What do you mean?
He's not British.
Maybe he's gay.
I don't think that's the problem.
We went dancing
the other night...
...and just the way he held me so close
and looked into my eyes....
I just definitely felt something.
But how much can you
tell from a look?
I felt it on my hip.
I could tell.
Yo, Bing!
Racquetball in 20 minutes.
Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand
and smack her with it.
Oh, Rachel! Don't look.
What?
I don't care.
I have a date tonight.
You have a date?
Monica's setting me up.
What about Ross and....
What? My whole
insane jealousy thing?
Well, you know,
as much fun as that was...
... I've decided to opt for sanity.
You're okay about all this?
Oh, yeah, come on!
I'm moving on.
He can press her up against
that window as much as he wants.
For all I care, he can throw her
through the damn thing.
Hi, guys.
Monica, I'll come by tomorrow and
pick up Fluffy's old cat toys, okay?
If you say his full name.
Can I come over tomorrow and pick up
Fluffy Meowington's cat toys?
All right.
-You're getting a cat?
-Actually, we're getting a cat.
Together?
Both of you? Together?
It'll live with Ross half the time
and with me half the time.
Well, isn't that just lovely?
That's something you'll enjoy...
...for a really, really,
really long time.
Hopefully.
Look at that.
I gotta go! I got a date!
With a man.
You guys have a really good night...
...and you two have a really good cat.
We're not supposed to
take these when we leave.
I don't know if Monica told you, but
this my first date since my divorce.
If I seem a little nervous...
... I am.
How long do cats live?
I'm sorry?
Cats. How long do they live?
Figuring you don't throw them
under a bus or something?
Maybe 1 5, 1 6 years.
Well, that's just great.
Cheers!
Right. Clink.
Monica told you I was cuter
than this, didn't she?
No, Michael, it's not you.
Sorry. It's just....
It's this thing.
It's not as bad as it sounds...
... but this friend of mine is
getting a cat with his girlfriend.
Oh, that does sound....
He just started going out with her.
Is this guy an old boyfriend?
Yeah, he wishes.
I'm sorry. Look at me.
Michael, let's talk about you.
So....
Did you ever get a pet
with a girlfriend?
-So I figured it out.
-What?
Why Scott doesn't want
to sleep with me.
I'm not sexy enough.
Phoebe, that's crazy.
When I first met you,
you know what I said?
I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Really? That's so sweet.
I mean, I'm officially offended.
But that's so sweet.
If you wanna know what the deal is,
you're gonna have to ask him.
You're right. You're right.
You are so "yum"!
I mean, it's a cat, you know?
It's a cat.
Why can't they get a bug?
One of those fruit flies.
Those things that live for a day.
What are they called?
Fruit flies?
Thank you.
Would you like dessert?
No dessert.
Just the check. Please.
Oh, no. You're not
having fun, are you?
No, no, I am.
But only because I've been playing
the movie Diner in my head.
Oh, look at me.
Look at me.
I'm on a date
with a really great guy.
All I can think about is Ross...
...and his cat...
...and his Julie.
Look, do you want a piece of pie or something?
Do like that man, I just screwed this all over.
I just want to get over him.
Why can't I do that?
Look, I've been through a divorce.
Trust me, you're gonna be fine.
You can't see it because
you haven't had closure
Closure!
That's what it is!
That's what I need!
God, you're brilliant!
Why didn't I think of that?
How do I get that?
Well, there's no one way
really, it's just....
Whatever it takes so that
you can finally say to him:
"I'm over you."
Over you.
That's what it is.
Closure.
Hello? Excuse me?
Excuse me. Hel
-Hang on.
-Excuse me?
-What?
-Hi. I'm sorry.
I need to borrow your phone
for just one minute.
-I'm talking.
-I see that.
One phone call, I'll be very quick.
I'll even pay for it myself.
You're being a little weird
about your phone.
All right. Fine.
I'll call you back.
Thank you.
So good people!
Machine.
-Just waiting for the beep.
-Good.
Ross! Hi, it's Rachel.
I'm just calling to say that...
...everything's fine.
And I'm really happy for you...
...and your cat.
Who, by the way, I think
you should name Michael.
You see there,
I'm thinking of names...
...so obviously I am over you.
I am over you.
And that, my friend,
is what they call "closure."
It's Sunday morning.
I'm not running on a Sunday.
-Why not?
-Because it's Sunday!
It's God's day.
If you say stop, then we stop.
Stop.
No, come on! We can't stop!
We got three more pounds to go!
I am the energy train
and you are on board!
And how was the date?
I think there was a restaurant.
I know there was wine.
Actually, Julie's getting a cab.
I just need the cat toys.
Did Monica say....
What? Why are you
looking at me like that?
I'm sorry. I don't know, l....
I feel like I dreamed
about you last night...
... but I don't remember.
There they are.
Did we speak on the phone?
Did you call me?
No. I stayed at Julie's last night.
I haven't even been home yet.
Do you mind if I check my messages?
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Rach, I got a message from you!
Who's Michael?
Oh, my God!
Ross, no! Hang up the phone.
Give me the phone!
Give me the
You're over me?
Oh, God!
-You're
-Oh, God.
You're over me?
When were you...
... under me?
Rachel, do you...?
I mean, were you?
What?
Basically...
...Iately, I've....
I've sort of had feelings for you.
You've had feelings for me?
So? You had feelings for me first!
You know about my
You know I had
You know?
Chandler told me.
When did he? When did he?
When did he?
When you were in China.
Meeting Julie.
Julie. That's
Oh, God!
I need to lie down.
No, I'm gonna stand.
I'm gonna stand...
...and I'm gonna walk.
I'm walking and I am standing.
Now you're over me?
Are you over me?
That's Julie.
-Hi, Julie.
-I've got a cab waiting.
I'll be right down!
Wait, so you're going?
Well, okay, I have to.
I can't deal with this right now.
I mean, I've
You know, I've got a cab.
I've got a girlfriend.
I'm gonna go get a cat.
Cat!
-Hey, Joey.
-Hey, Pheebs.
How come you're watching
a rabbi play electric guitar?
I can't find the remote.
Thank you.
Scott asked me to come over
for lunch and I did.
-And?
-And we did.
All right! Way to go!
Yea, me!
So how did it happen?
I took your advice and
asked him what was going on.
What did he say?
He understands how sex can be
a very emotional thing for a woman.
And he was just afraid
that I was going to get all:
"ls he gonna call me the next day?"
and "Where is this going?"
So he said he wanted to hold off
until he was prepared to be serious.
So I said, "Okay. Relax, please."
Sex can be just about two people
right there in the moment.
If he wants to see me again, he can
call. If not, that's fine too.
So after a lot of talking...
... I convinced him.
Let me get this straight.
He got you to beg to sleep with him.
He got you to say
he never has to call you again.
And he got you thinking
this is a great idea?
This man is my god!
This one is cute. Don't you think.
Yeah. This one is cute, that one is cute, and they are all cute.
Let's just wrap one and get the hell out of here.
-Are you OK!
-yeah, me, sure!
You know this is the big step for us,
but I'm got feeling that will be OK.
I know, I know!
Do you have any cat really old and incrediblly sick.
Rose, I don't want one suppose to die.
See, we should work that out before we came down here.
I will get a little narrow down with this one over here and this one with the stricks. You pick!
-I have to pick?
-whickever one you want.
I don't know.I mean it's not easy to choose.
You know both cat are beautiful,funny.
You will be happy with either cat.
Do you want to take both?
I can't have two cats.
Joey is kind of guy to have two cats.
I didn't get a cat.
That's interesting.
No, it's not "interesting."
It's very, very not interesting.
It's actually 100%
the opposite of interesting.
I got it, Ross.
You had no right to say
you had feelings for me.
I was doing great with Julie
before I knew!
I was doing great
before I knew about you!
You think it's easy
to see you with Julie?
You should've said something before!
I didn't know then.
And how come you never said anything?
There was never a good time.
You only had a year.
And we only hung out every night!
Not...
...every night.
It's not like I didn't try.
But things got in the way.
You know, like ltalian guys...
...or ex-fiances...
...or ltalian guys.
There was one ltalian guy, okay?
And do you have a point?
The point is, I don't need
this right now!
Okay? It's too late.
I'm with somebody else. I'm happy.
This ship has sailed!
You're just gonna put away
your feelings for me?
I've done it since ninth grade.
I'm good at it.
All right, fine.
You go ahead and do that.
I don't need your ship!
-Good.
-Good!
And you know what?
Now I got closure!
Try the bottom one.
Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning.
We're not working out.
It's over.
No way! With one pound to go?
Come on!
We're workin', we're movin'
We're in the zone, we're groovin'
I don't mind the last pound.
In fact, I kind of like the last pound.
So don't make me do anything
that I'll regret.
What you gonna do, fat boy?
What?
Nothing. Except tell you it's
wonderful how much energy you have.
Well, thanks.
Especially considering how tough
it's been for you to find work.
You can't tell your parents you were
fired, because they'd be disappointed.
It's not as if you have
a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on.
Well, no. But l....
If it were me, I'd have difficulty
getting out of bed at all.
You know, I try to stay positive.
So you....
You feel like going for a run?
All right.
Because you don't have to.
You could just take a nap right here.
Do I not look fun enough?
Is there something
repellent about me?
How was the party?
It couldn't have been worse.
A woman literally passed through me.
What is it?
Am I hideously unattractive?
No, you are not.
You are very attractive.
I go through the same thing.
When I put on a little weight,
I question everything.
I've put on weight?
Did you want to...?
No, not weight.
More like insulation.
I'm unemployed,
in dire need of a project.
Wanna work out?
I can remake you.
I would, but that might get
in the way of my lying-around time.
Please?
Come on, let her do it!
All right.
If we put on spandex and my boobs
are bigger than yours, I'm going home.
Your boobs are fine.
I shouldn't have said anything.
Come here. Come here!
Can't make hands meet!
The One Where Ross Finds Out
Let's do it!
What?
Nothing. Just never seen
your little stretchy pants before.
It's cute!
And we're changing.
Come on, give me five more!
Five more!
Five more and I'll flash you.
One...
...two...
...two and a half.
Just show me one of them.
She's insane!
The woman is insane.
It's before work, after work,
and during work.
She's got me doing
butt-clenches at my desk.
And now they won't
bring me my mail anymore.
Just tell her you want to stop.
I can't. All she get to work is all she can got.
So that's why we think maybe we should all picking and buy her own resterant.
Hey, Pheebs.
How'd it go with Scott?
It was nice. Took him
to a romantic restaurant...
...ordered champagne. Nice.
He still won't put out?
Nope. Zilch. Nothing.
Sorry, Pheebs.
Look, I don't mind taking it slow.
I like him a lot.
He's really interesting,
and he's really sweet.
Why won't he give it up?
Maybe he drives his car
on the other side of the road.
If you know what I mean.
No. What do you mean?
He's not British.
Maybe he's gay.
I don't think that's the problem.
We went dancing
the other night...
...and just the way he held me so close
and looked into my eyes....
I just definitely felt something.
But how much can you
tell from a look?
I felt it on my hip.
I could tell.
Yo, Bing!
Racquetball in 20 minutes.
Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand
and smack her with it.
Oh, Rachel! Don't look.
What?
I don't care.
I have a date tonight.
You have a date?
Monica's setting me up.
What about Ross and....
What? My whole
insane jealousy thing?
Well, you know,
as much fun as that was...
... I've decided to opt for sanity.
You're okay about all this?
Oh, yeah, come on!
I'm moving on.
He can press her up against
that window as much as he wants.
For all I care, he can throw her
through the damn thing.
Hi, guys.
Monica, I'll come by tomorrow and
pick up Fluffy's old cat toys, okay?
If you say his full name.
Can I come over tomorrow and pick up
Fluffy Meowington's cat toys?
All right.
-You're getting a cat?
-Actually, we're getting a cat.
Together?
Both of you? Together?
It'll live with Ross half the time
and with me half the time.
Well, isn't that just lovely?
That's something you'll enjoy...
...for a really, really,
really long time.
Hopefully.
Look at that.
I gotta go! I got a date!
With a man.
You guys have a really good night...
...and you two have a really good cat.
We're not supposed to
take these when we leave.
I don't know if Monica told you, but
this my first date since my divorce.
If I seem a little nervous...
... I am.
How long do cats live?
I'm sorry?
Cats. How long do they live?
Figuring you don't throw them
under a bus or something?
Maybe 1 5, 1 6 years.
Well, that's just great.
Cheers!
Right. Clink.
Monica told you I was cuter
than this, didn't she?
No, Michael, it's not you.
Sorry. It's just....
It's this thing.
It's not as bad as it sounds...
... but this friend of mine is
getting a cat with his girlfriend.
Oh, that does sound....
He just started going out with her.
Is this guy an old boyfriend?
Yeah, he wishes.
I'm sorry. Look at me.
Michael, let's talk about you.
So....
Did you ever get a pet
with a girlfriend?
-So I figured it out.
-What?
Why Scott doesn't want
to sleep with me.
I'm not sexy enough.
Phoebe, that's crazy.
When I first met you,
you know what I said?
I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Really? That's so sweet.
I mean, I'm officially offended.
But that's so sweet.
If you wanna know what the deal is,
you're gonna have to ask him.
You're right. You're right.
You are so "yum"!
I mean, it's a cat, you know?
It's a cat.
Why can't they get a bug?
One of those fruit flies.
Those things that live for a day.
What are they called?
Fruit flies?
Thank you.
Would you like dessert?
No dessert.
Just the check. Please.
Oh, no. You're not
having fun, are you?
No, no, I am.
But only because I've been playing
the movie Diner in my head.
Oh, look at me.
Look at me.
I'm on a date
with a really great guy.
All I can think about is Ross...
...and his cat...
...and his Julie.
Look, do you want a piece of pie or something?
Do like that man, I just screwed this all over.
I just want to get over him.
Why can't I do that?
Look, I've been through a divorce.
Trust me, you're gonna be fine.
You can't see it because
you haven't had closure
Closure!
That's what it is!
That's what I need!
God, you're brilliant!
Why didn't I think of that?
How do I get that?
Well, there's no one way
really, it's just....
Whatever it takes so that
you can finally say to him:
"I'm over you."
Over you.
That's what it is.
Closure.
Hello? Excuse me?
Excuse me. Hel
-Hang on.
-Excuse me?
-What?
-Hi. I'm sorry.
I need to borrow your phone
for just one minute.
-I'm talking.
-I see that.
One phone call, I'll be very quick.
I'll even pay for it myself.
You're being a little weird
about your phone.
All right. Fine.
I'll call you back.
Thank you.
So good people!
Machine.
-Just waiting for the beep.
-Good.
Ross! Hi, it's Rachel.
I'm just calling to say that...
...everything's fine.
And I'm really happy for you...
...and your cat.
Who, by the way, I think
you should name Michael.
You see there,
I'm thinking of names...
...so obviously I am over you.
I am over you.
And that, my friend,
is what they call "closure."
It's Sunday morning.
I'm not running on a Sunday.
-Why not?
-Because it's Sunday!
It's God's day.
If you say stop, then we stop.
Stop.
No, come on! We can't stop!
We got three more pounds to go!
I am the energy train
and you are on board!
And how was the date?
I think there was a restaurant.
I know there was wine.
Actually, Julie's getting a cab.
I just need the cat toys.
Did Monica say....
What? Why are you
looking at me like that?
I'm sorry. I don't know, l....
I feel like I dreamed
about you last night...
... but I don't remember.
There they are.
Did we speak on the phone?
Did you call me?
No. I stayed at Julie's last night.
I haven't even been home yet.
Do you mind if I check my messages?
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Rach, I got a message from you!
Who's Michael?
Oh, my God!
Ross, no! Hang up the phone.
Give me the phone!
Give me the
You're over me?
Oh, God!
-You're
-Oh, God.
You're over me?
When were you...
... under me?
Rachel, do you...?
I mean, were you?
What?
Basically...
...Iately, I've....
I've sort of had feelings for you.
You've had feelings for me?
So? You had feelings for me first!
You know about my
You know I had
You know?
Chandler told me.
When did he? When did he?
When did he?
When you were in China.
Meeting Julie.
Julie. That's
Oh, God!
I need to lie down.
No, I'm gonna stand.
I'm gonna stand...
...and I'm gonna walk.
I'm walking and I am standing.
Now you're over me?
Are you over me?
That's Julie.
-Hi, Julie.
-I've got a cab waiting.
I'll be right down!
Wait, so you're going?
Well, okay, I have to.
I can't deal with this right now.
I mean, I've
You know, I've got a cab.
I've got a girlfriend.
I'm gonna go get a cat.
Cat!
-Hey, Joey.
-Hey, Pheebs.
How come you're watching
a rabbi play electric guitar?
I can't find the remote.
Thank you.
Scott asked me to come over
for lunch and I did.
-And?
-And we did.
All right! Way to go!
Yea, me!
So how did it happen?
I took your advice and
asked him what was going on.
What did he say?
He understands how sex can be
a very emotional thing for a woman.
And he was just afraid
that I was going to get all:
"ls he gonna call me the next day?"
and "Where is this going?"
So he said he wanted to hold off
until he was prepared to be serious.
So I said, "Okay. Relax, please."
Sex can be just about two people
right there in the moment.
If he wants to see me again, he can
call. If not, that's fine too.
So after a lot of talking...
... I convinced him.
Let me get this straight.
He got you to beg to sleep with him.
He got you to say
he never has to call you again.
And he got you thinking
this is a great idea?
This man is my god!
This one is cute. Don't you think.
Yeah. This one is cute, that one is cute, and they are all cute.
Let's just wrap one and get the hell out of here.
-Are you OK!
-yeah, me, sure!
You know this is the big step for us,
but I'm got feeling that will be OK.
I know, I know!
Do you have any cat really old and incrediblly sick.
Rose, I don't want one suppose to die.
See, we should work that out before we came down here.
I will get a little narrow down with this one over here and this one with the stricks. You pick!
-I have to pick?
-whickever one you want.
I don't know.I mean it's not easy to choose.
You know both cat are beautiful,funny.
You will be happy with either cat.
Do you want to take both?
I can't have two cats.
Joey is kind of guy to have two cats.
I didn't get a cat.
That's interesting.
No, it's not "interesting."
It's very, very not interesting.
It's actually 100%
the opposite of interesting.
I got it, Ross.
You had no right to say
you had feelings for me.
I was doing great with Julie
before I knew!
I was doing great
before I knew about you!
You think it's easy
to see you with Julie?
You should've said something before!
I didn't know then.
And how come you never said anything?
There was never a good time.
You only had a year.
And we only hung out every night!
Not...
...every night.
It's not like I didn't try.
But things got in the way.
You know, like ltalian guys...
...or ex-fiances...
...or ltalian guys.
There was one ltalian guy, okay?
And do you have a point?
The point is, I don't need
this right now!
Okay? It's too late.
I'm with somebody else. I'm happy.
This ship has sailed!
You're just gonna put away
your feelings for me?
I've done it since ninth grade.
I'm good at it.
All right, fine.
You go ahead and do that.
I don't need your ship!
-Good.
-Good!
And you know what?
Now I got closure!
Try the bottom one.
Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning.
We're not working out.
It's over.
No way! With one pound to go?
Come on!
We're workin', we're movin'
We're in the zone, we're groovin'
I don't mind the last pound.
In fact, I kind of like the last pound.
So don't make me do anything
that I'll regret.
What you gonna do, fat boy?
What?
Nothing. Except tell you it's
wonderful how much energy you have.
Well, thanks.
Especially considering how tough
it's been for you to find work.
You can't tell your parents you were
fired, because they'd be disappointed.
It's not as if you have
a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on.
Well, no. But l....
If it were me, I'd have difficulty
getting out of bed at all.
You know, I try to stay positive.
So you....
You feel like going for a run?
All right.
Because you don't have to.
You could just take a nap right here.