Freaks and Geeks (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 8 - Girlfriends and Boyfriends - full transcript
Lindsay and Nick get more serious, and her parents give unwanted advice. Sam joins the yearbook staff to get closer to Cindy, who thinks of him only as a friend.
Freaks and Geeks S01E08 Girlfriends and Boyfriends (VO)
I was just coming to look for you.
Wow, you look beautiful.
- Thanks.
- Come on.
Hey, guys.
What you guys doin'?
Nothing, I'm just
hanging out with Linds.
So...
Are you guys going out or what?
Hey, come on.
I don't kiss and tell.
Cool, man.
That's great.
Yeah, Nick!
Grab me a piece!
Shut up, man.
Get outta here.
I'm sorry about that.
You remember those guys
from the band Dimension?
They found a drummer.
Aw, really?
I heard he dropped his
stick soloing on Black Dog.
You know, like that first gig.
I'm not jealous.
I'm really not.
I'm glad I bombed the audition,
because, you know,
if I hadn't... Then
we wouldn't have kissed.
Well, I should... go to study hall.
I have to cram for my English quiz.
OK. I'll see you later.
Oh, man.
Come here.
{\a6}You just kissed Nick!
{\a6}Yeah, so?
{\a6}Are you going out with him?
No... well...
{\a6}We haven't gone on
a real date or anything.
It's just that...
{\a6}We were hanging out the other day,
and he was kinda depressed,
and we kissed.
{\a6}It's not... It's no big deal.
What?
You have a boyfriend.
Yeah, but Tommy goes to church!
Nick is a freak!
- So what?!
- So this...
Freaks only date freak girls.
And you're not a freak girl.
How do you know?
'Cause freaks go all the way.
Millie, you've no idea
what you're talking about.
What about Patty Filker?
She's a freak girl.
And she has a baby!
But I guess that's
no big deal either.
Mind your own business, OK?
Hurry up. I don't want
to be late for bio.
Why? What is the big deal?
Well, yesterday I was late,
and everyone looked at me.
- Hi, Sam.
- Oh, hi, Cindy.
How are you?
Ho ho, hey, Merv Griffin!
Nice interview.
Come on back, Lindsay.
Something wrong?
No. Just checkin' in with
my good friend Lindsay Weir.
- Anything wrong with that?
- I guess not.
So how's everything going?
Classes keeping you interested?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, have you checked
out the new Rush album?
I've gotta say
it rocks pretty heavily,
and that's comin' from
a guy who's seen Hendrix live.
Yeah, I... I heard it's pretty good.
So...
I understand you and Nick Andopolis
are gettin' pretty tight.
How's that goin'?
Mr. Rosso, Nick and I
are just friends. That's all.
No need to explain anything to me.
I got it on in a van at Woodstock,
I'm not judgin' anybody.
I just want you to know what
you're getting yourself into.
I mean, when you're a teenager,
your emotions are running high,
and it's easy to get confused.
I want you... to have this.
Oh, my god!
Come on! Don't let
the pamphlet freak you out.
There's some good stuff in there.
It's just that you've
got to be careful these days.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
- Do you?
I thought I knew, too.
Until one night,
I was checkin' out this discotheque.
The one at the bowling alley
on 15 mile.
I met this girl.
She seemed really nice.
We danced a bit.
I kissed her.
One thing led to another and...
Now I get sores on my lip
once a month.
I have herpes.
It doesn't hurt that much,
but believe me, you don't want it.
Can I please go now?
I just blew your mind, didn't I?
No! No, I just, um...
I don't want to be late for lunch.
Just use your head, Lindsay.
That's all I ask.
You got it.
Man! That Gordon reeks!
You think he ever takes a shower?
Maybe he takes baths instead.
My mom says
they don't really get you clean.
Yeah, you just sit
in your own filth.
All right, let's settle down.
We've got a lot to do today.
We're going to be
dissecting kittens.
Just trying to get your attention.
But you'll get
your lab partners today.
McKenna?
I hope I get to be
paired up with Cindy.
- Hey, what about me?
- Please let it be Cindy.
Your lab partner
will be Gordon Crisp.
Bill, your partner
will be Cindy Sanders.
How interesting.
Me and Cindy, you and Gordon.
Well, I better... I better go
sit next to my lab partner.
Well, there goes Cindy's
grade point average.
Excuse me, madam.
- May I take this seat?
- Sure, have a seat.
All right, people, let's go.
Find your lab partner.
Remember, science waits for no man.
I think it's really great
that you and Nick are goin' out.
Yeah. Me, too.
No, I mean it.
He's a great guy.
I give him a hard time, but...
You know...
He's the man!
I just think it's really
great you guys are goin' out.
He's a really great guy.
Yeah. I know.
Nick's a stud... You know?
I mean, he may not seem like it,
but he is.
Mr. Desario,
don't you have something to do?
Right, but I thought we were going
to do that after class, Miss Yeats.
Ha ha. Be still, my beating heart.
I like that dress.
How come you're not eating?
This tuna salad smells like Gordon.
Yeah, Cindy smells, too.
Like flowers.
Did she say anything about me?
I don't know.
Her tongue was in
my ear the whole time.
Shut up!
I'm gonna have to get Cindy to come
and kiss it and make it all better.
You guys are jerks!
Hi, Sam. Hey, Nate.
- It's Neal...
- OK, so, Bill, I was thinking,
we should probably get
started on our lab assignment.
I have cheerleading practice at 3:00,
French club at...
3:45, but do you think you could
come over at, like... 4:30?
To your house?
I think I could squeeze you in.
Great! I'll see you then.
Cindy's house. 4:30.
Should I wear Hai Karate
or Old Spice?
Definitely Old Spice.
Check it out.
Donkey basketball Saturday.
- I love those things.
- I think they're mean.
Oh, yeah,
like the donkeys really give a care.
How would you like
some big fat teacher
on your back while you had
to run around a gym?
Yeah, how did your date
with Fredricks go?
- You wanna hang out Friday night?
- Um, yeah.
Yeah? Cool.
Have you seen The Elephant Man?
The movie.
Oh! The...
Guy with... The deformed guy.
No, why?
I was thinking
maybe we could go see it.
Come on, people, the bell has rung.
Quit your dilly-dallying
and get to class!
Lord and lady skips-a-lot,
come on, let's go!
Yes, ma'am... I mean, sir.
I was actually...
I was actually thinking...
We could hang out
at my house Friday night.
My parents are going out and
my brothers aren't going to be around.
So, I thought we could just
hang out or something...
Come on, get the lead out.
Let's go!
So Friday night at my house?
Romeo and Juliet.
Come on. Last one
in class, first one on welfare.
It's your choice.
I like your room, Sam.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, whoa! Cool sheets!
"May the force be with you."
OK, let's see here.
I already started on
the plant cell diagram.
It's the animal stuff that's tricky.
Yeah, I know. I couldn't tell what
was going on under that microscope.
- Could I borrow your pencil?
- Oh, yeah. OK, sure.
There you go.
- Here you go. Thanks.
- Thanks.
What's the matter, Sam?
Oh, nothing! Nothing.
I know what's bugging you.
You didn't want to be
lab partners with me.
Well...
You wanted to be with Cindy sanders.
Yeah... yeah!
How did you know?
- It's obvious you like her.
- It is?
- Do you think she likes me?
- I don't know.
Cheerleaders are hard
to read that way.
You and Cindy would
make a good couple.
She's popular and everything,
but... she needs someone like you.
- You'd be good for her.
- Really?
Thanks, Mom.
I'm so bad. I can't do my homework
without having a snack first.
Do you have chips or cookies?
No, I'm sorry.
My parents don't let us eat junk food.
Do you want to watch TV?
Welcome Back, Kotter is on.
Are you OK?
That's Horshack...
From the show.
Oh. Well, I've never
really seen it before, so...
What?!
Well, I don't really watch TV.
Except for the Muppet Show.
I'm sorry, I've been hogging these.
Did you want something to drink?
OK, I'll go get some lemonade.
This stupid chair always does that.
I'll be right back.
This is what you should do.
Find out her schedule
and memorize it.
That way, you can bump
into her and say hi.
Compliment her hair,
and the next time you run into her,
say, "hey, did you
change your hair?"
{\Pretty }Soon, you'll have tons
of stuff to talk about.
- Good idea.
- And join all her after-school clubs.
A, you'll get to see her more.
B, you'll find out about her interests,
and pretend they're your interests, too.
- That makes sense.
- And C...
Very important.
You can make sure she's not
falling in love with anyone else,
like your friend Bill.
You think
Cindy'll fall in love with Bill?!
I don't know.
Being lab partners is like getting
stranded on a desert island.
You never know what might happen.
Hey, man, I heard Kim got
an A on her world civ test.
That's great.
Huh?
Oh, no, that's right.
That was my girlfriend.
Oh, that's really funny.
Ah, you know what, though?
Oh, man.
Lindsay got detention.
For flipping off her gym teacher.
Oh, no, that's right.
That was your girlfriend.
I heard Kim punched you
in the chest really hard.
Whoops. That was me!
That was really hard.
I'm telling you, she's abnormal.
She eats carrot sticks,
and she likes Miss piggy.
So what?
The muppets are cool.
Yeah, Swedish Chef is kinda cool,
but Miss Piggy's lame.
Look, Professor Honeywell
is hysterical.
Cindy is not abnormal.
Yeah?
She cut the cheese.
Oh, my god!
That's not funny.
I heard it, man. I swear.
She blamed it on the chair,
but she cut the cheese.
Some chairs make weird noises!
- What kind of a chair was it?
- I don't know.
- Vinyl?
- Well, vinyl chairs always squeak.
It wasn't a squeak.
It was the sound
of cheese being cut.
You know what?
I think you're making all of this up
because you want me
to stop liking her
because you like her now.
What?!
Hey, what's up?
Hi, Cindy.
You changed your hair.
It just looks really flat today.
Oh, Bill, I wanted to tell you.
I have a yearbook
meeting after school,
but we can work on
our lab assignment afterwards.
Oh, I can't wait. Maybe this time,
you can come over to my house.
Oh, and by the way, I finally
got to see Welcome Back, Kotter.
You were right.
Mr. Woodman is so funny.
Yeah, I'm tellin' ya,
that guy is totally underrated.
Lindsay, it's a test, not a race.
And if it were a race,
Millie already beat you.
I need to talk to you.
- Why?
- I just do.
Yes.
Remember when we used
to love Leif Garrett
and we used to take
my Dynamite magazines out
and kiss his picture?
And we went to see him
at the state fair
and cut all the way
to the front row.
It turned out to be Jack Albertson
from Chico and the Man.
Oh, yeah.
That kinda sucked.
It wasn't so bad.
It was kinda funny.
Millie, I'm just saying that...
We always dreamed
of having a boyfriend,
and I think I finally
have a boyfriend,
and... and I think
he wants to have sex.
You can't have sex with Nick.
Once you do, you'll
never be the same again.
Plus no one would want to marry you.
Why should they buy the cow
when they can get the milk for free?
Some of you will be happy to see that,
after several complaints,
I have eliminated "disco days"
from the running.
- Who's got photographs?
- Hey, Cindy.
Hey, Sam.
I didn't know you were on yearbook.
Did you just join?
I want to become more involved in...
after-school activities.
- That's cool.
- Any article ideas?
Cindy?
It's called
"Diary of a McKinley student."
It describes a high school
student's experience.
Go ahead. Read it.
"September 3, 1980.
"Freshman year.
Dear diary,
"high school.
So cavernous.
"Cold, uninviting.
"Starting over. No identity.
"Everyone looking, everyone judging.
"Their eyes pierce my soul.
"Aimless youth,
all trapped together,
"but no one connecting.
"Education or isolation?
Class dismissed."
Thank you, Sylvia Plath.
It's a little dark.
We want to sell yearbooks,
not tell the truth.
It was just an idea.
The next thing we need
to talk about is ad sales.
Yes, I know. It's no fun.
It's not creative,
but if we don't sell
this ad space by tomorrow,
we won't have money for printing.
Here's a list of the local merchants
we haven't hit yet.
My Dad owns A1 Sporting Goods.
Great! You can start with his store.
Why don't you pair up with Cindy?
Sure.
Mr. Stoker, you pair up with carl.
Can you believe we have
to sell yearbook ads?
Yeah. That really sucks.
Hey, Lindsay.
I got something to show you.
What?
What's up?
Somebody likes you,
that's what's up.
I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
What's his name? What's he like?
I want to know everything, really.
He's just a friend.
A friend?
Do I know him?
Well, open the card.
What?
Sweetie?
"W-a-t-e."
My Dad's store is
right down the block.
Yeah?
All right, great.
You know, I really liked what
you wrote for the yearbook.
I think it was really cool.
Mr. Mainzer doesn't know
what he's talking about.
Thanks.
And you know, you're right.
Being a freshman stinks.
I know, it's like...
Everyone pigeonholes you
and expects you to act a certain way.
If you're a cheerleader, you're supposed
to be in a good mood all the time.
Yeah, that must be tough.
I know! There are some days when
I'm just feeling a little bit cranky.
Like today.
I just got my period.
So what? Deal with it.
All right, thanks, Mike.
And good luck with that bomb shelter.
Sam? I thought you were going
to help me out today.
Oh, yeah, I was
at a yearbook meeting.
Yearbook? When the heck
did you join that?
Today.
This is my friend Cindy.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Hello.
Look, Sam.
Now, look, you gotta
put in your time.
I'm trying to teach
you a work ethic here.
Now, if you want to buy
those crazy Micronaut things,
you're going to have
to earn the money.
Oh, for cryin' out loud,
who mixed up the balls?
Um, you have
a really nice store, Mr. Weir.
Dave, bring up those boxes up there.
Uh, Dad, Cindy and I...
Well, we're selling yearbook ads.
1/8 of a page is $25.
Do you want to buy one?
1/8 for $25?!
Sam, that's highway robbery!
I can get a full page in
a sunday paper for a hundred.
But this is really important
that Cindy and I sell these.
Oh, well, tell you what.
Give me a full page.
Wow! Thank you, Mr. Weir.
No problem.
Sam is my best salesman, you know?
Really?
We've got 16 more ads to sell.
We should go to the big stores first.
- They'll probably buy more space.
- But the small stores close earlier.
Oh, wait a minute now.
You're squandering your manpower.
What you gotta do is split up,
and, you know, take separate routes.
That way you can cover more ground.
Thank you.
But then again...
Some of the greatest
salesmen worked in teams.
Yeah, maybe we should
stick together.
But we'll both finish sooner
if we split up, don't you think?
Yeah, I guess so.
Thank you, Mr. Weir.
See ya, Dad.
Sir, don't open that bait.
So I saw Sam's yearbook
partner at the store today.
Quite a cute little number.
God, Dad!
What? What's wrong with that?
She's cute.
Am I supposed
to call her "Ms." or something?
See, Lindsay, Sam's not afraid to
show off his girlfriend.
What's eating you?
- Lindsay has a boyfriend.
- Oh, my God!
What?! Who?
Someone sent her a red rose.
He must be some kind of Romeo.
Yeah, I'll say he is.
Who the hell is this joker?
He's just a friend.
Nobody who's "just a friend"
sends a single rose.
I know all about single roses.
I sent one to your mother,
and I know when and why I sent it.
Harold.
Lindsay, you can tell us who it is,
and we won't make a big deal
out of it, all right?
OK, it's Nick.
Not another one of those burn-outs.
Nick? Was he the one that
ate all my fruit roll-ups?
- You said he could have them.
- No, I... I know.
You'd better know right now that your
mother and I are not taking care of some
"wedlock" baby, while you're
off gallivanting at college.
- Dad!
- I'm warning you, Lindsay.
Absolutely forbid you
from seeing this boy.
Well, at least she didn't yell.
Honey.
See, you don't know what it's like
to have a daughter
and want to protect her.
Well, I mean, you will someday.
We'd like that day to be
a long time from now.
We just want to be sure
that this boy respects you, honey.
Not all of them do.
Trust me. I know what they're like.
I was one of them.
Ugh! He was.
I know. You find it hard to believe,
but I did some stupid
things when I was young.
Honey.
Tell her about Korea.
Ko...
... rea.
Well, one day...
I went into Seoul on a weekend pass
and went to this bar
and I had a few too many.
And...
I followed a couple
of my buddies to the...
red-light district.
Your father's first time
wasn't special,
and he's always regretted it.
It was the worst
$5.00 I've ever spent.
And I wish I could get
that $5.00 back.
Ohh, come on! Please stop!
What your father
is trying to say is...
that your virginity is...
a gift.
Hold on a second.
I gotta find my smokes.
Did you take 'em?
We're goin' to Des's tonight.
Are you coming?
No. Oh, hey.
No, actually,
I'm hangin' out with Linds.
All right.
Make it happen.
Oh, tonight's the night!
Call me tomorrow, Lindsay.
I want to know everything.
So do I, Lindsay.
Keep yawnin' like that,
you're gonna dislocate your jaw.
Guys, wait up.
Hey, Sam.
You know what Cindy said last night?
What? That she's in love with you?
That... that she thinks
you're smart and funny
and you don't care
if she cuts the cheese?
You know what, Bill?
Why don't you just go out with her?
Why don't you marry her?
I don't care anymore, OK?
I don't care.
God!
I was gonna say
she said she thought you were
the nicest guy in the school.
Cindy said that?
No, wait. No, seriously.
You don't like Cindy?
No. Man, I was just
messin' with you.
Bill's been in love
with Melissa Karpinski
ever since he stood behind
her at the Dairy Queen.
She was wearing this halter top.
She is one foxy lady.
She doesn't cut the cheese.
Come on! Everybody cuts the cheese.
Anyways Melissa Karpinski
is way out of your league.
She goes out with, like,
the big football players.
I'm going to fill out soon.
You know my cousin Jeff?
He was a shrimp until he turned 16,
and then he got all tall
and muscular in a month.
Now he looks like the Hulk.
You really think I'll fill out?
Yeah, not like me, though.
In 3 years, I'm going to be enormous.
Oh, yeah. Me, too.
My dad is 6'3".
Hey, listen, you guys.
Why don't we go see
Airplane again on saturday?
Surely you will.
Don't call me Shirley.
"Billy, have you ever seen
a grown man naked?"
Hey, why don't we go ask
Gordon to come with us?
But... he smells.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
But he's really cool.
Maybe he doesn't
even know he smells.
Are you gonna tell him?
Hey, Gordon.
Hey. How's it going
with you-know-who?
Did you join her clubs?
Yeah, yeah.
And we got to hang out.
- Uh, sort of.
- Cool.
You know, she smells great.
It must be her shampoo.
Or... deodorant or something.
What kind of deodorant do you use?
I know I smell, Sam.
What are you talking about?
I may be smelly, but I'm not stupid.
So... What is that?
It's a medical condition.
It's called tryptophanuria.
It's genetic.
Wow! Is there a cure?
Not yet, but research
is progressing.
So you're going to be...
smelly the rest of your life?
But I don't mind.
Nice people don't care,
and it weeds out the jerks.
My mom says it's a gift.
Cool.
You know...
Neal, Bill, and I are going
to the movies Saturday night.
- You want to come with us?
- OK.
I'll try not to stink up the joint.
- Just kidding.
- Yeah, I know.
Hey, Sam.
- So, did you sell all your ads?
- No, not really.
That's OK. No one else
did except for me.
So I'm really glad
you joined the yearbook.
- I had a lot of fun yesterday.
- Yeah, me, too.
So anyway, what are you
doing after school?
Is there another yearbook meeting?
No, I was just gonna go to Sackie's,
I was wondering if you wanted to come.
Don't touch the hair!
Stop it!
Yeah, yeah, I'll come.
Definitely. Sure.
Great.
All right. I better go sit down.
See you after school.
See ya.
"See you after school."
Thanks, Sam.
Look, are you sure
you don't need any money?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I love bacon cheeseburgers.
Really?
I kinda expected you
to like, you know,
healthy food like carrots.
Yuck! If I ever saw another
carrot again, it'd be too soon.
I mean, my parents
never take us to Sackie's.
That's why I have
to sneak here after school.
- Want some?
- Sure, thanks.
He's smiling and nodding because
he wants me to pass him the ball.
So I throw it to him,
and he ducks like a girl.
Do you know Todd Schellinger?
Well, not personally.
But...
Why?
I don't know. He's kinda cute,
don't you think?
I guess.
OK, I've never really
told anyone this before.
But I have, like,
the hugest crush on him.
At last week's game, he asked
my friend Joe for my phone number.
Do you think that means he likes me?
He asked for your phone number?
Well, yeah, but...
I mean, he never called.
And every time I see him, he acts
like he doesn't even know I exist.
Well, maybe he's just shy.
You think?
I don't know.
I'm always so nervous around him.
I never know what to say.
It's not like with you.
You're so easy to talk to.
You're just like my sister.
Thanks.
My god, did he just look at me?
Don't look.
- Have a nice time, honey.
- Don't stay out too late.
I won't. Bye.
Bye.
Sam?
Hey, son.
Yeah?
Come on over here and
join your mom and Dad.
- Why? What did I do?
- Nothing, silly.
- Come on.
- Get your butt over here.
- "What did I do?"
- Come on.
I have homework.
You can do it tomorrow.
Family time's more important.
You must have been right there.
Perfect timing.
Come on in.
I hope you like the Moody Blues.
Oh, yeah, they're really great.
I know, they're kind of wimpy,
but I think this song's OK.
So...
Wow! Whose basketball trophies?
Yeah, they're mine.
I actually used to play.
Why'd you quit?
They found a dime bag in my locker,
and then they kicked me off the team.
And then I just lost interest.
Oh, yeah. No, that one's
actually for bowling.
Do you want to hang out
downstairs for a while?
Whoa! Uh...
Yeah.
Great.
Nick, what is all this?
Come here.
Sit down.
Lindsay...
This song says all the things
I haven't been able to say to you.
It's a little corny.
But I mean it.
Lady...
When you're with me, I'm smiling.
Give me...
All your love
your hands
build me up when I'm sinking
Touch me
and my troubles all fade
You see, Lindsay,
nothing about you and me
should ever be rushed.
I made that mistake before.
But I'm not going
to make it with you.
Because we've got time.
We got all the time in the world.
And you know why?
'Cause you're my lady
See, Lindsay,
we were made for each other.
You want to make out or something?
No.
All guys want to make out.
But I just want to hold you.
What's better than this?
Can I have the ding dong?
Sure.
How was your "date"?
It was OK.
what'd you do?
Mom and Dad made me watch TV
with them all night.
They were weird.
Yeah, what else is new?
So, is Nick, like,
your boyfriend now?
I guess so.
But he likes you a lot, right?
Oh, yeah.
I wish Cindy liked me.
She likes you.
Yeah... Like a friend.
That's the worst.
I don't need another friend.
I already have two.
How many more friends
does a guy need?
Hello?
Oh, hi, Cindy.
Todd called?
Yeah, it's great.
He said that?
No!
No, no, no, I'm not busy.
Tell me what else happened.
I was just coming to look for you.
Wow, you look beautiful.
- Thanks.
- Come on.
Hey, guys.
What you guys doin'?
Nothing, I'm just
hanging out with Linds.
So...
Are you guys going out or what?
Hey, come on.
I don't kiss and tell.
Cool, man.
That's great.
Yeah, Nick!
Grab me a piece!
Shut up, man.
Get outta here.
I'm sorry about that.
You remember those guys
from the band Dimension?
They found a drummer.
Aw, really?
I heard he dropped his
stick soloing on Black Dog.
You know, like that first gig.
I'm not jealous.
I'm really not.
I'm glad I bombed the audition,
because, you know,
if I hadn't... Then
we wouldn't have kissed.
Well, I should... go to study hall.
I have to cram for my English quiz.
OK. I'll see you later.
Oh, man.
Come here.
{\a6}You just kissed Nick!
{\a6}Yeah, so?
{\a6}Are you going out with him?
No... well...
{\a6}We haven't gone on
a real date or anything.
It's just that...
{\a6}We were hanging out the other day,
and he was kinda depressed,
and we kissed.
{\a6}It's not... It's no big deal.
What?
You have a boyfriend.
Yeah, but Tommy goes to church!
Nick is a freak!
- So what?!
- So this...
Freaks only date freak girls.
And you're not a freak girl.
How do you know?
'Cause freaks go all the way.
Millie, you've no idea
what you're talking about.
What about Patty Filker?
She's a freak girl.
And she has a baby!
But I guess that's
no big deal either.
Mind your own business, OK?
Hurry up. I don't want
to be late for bio.
Why? What is the big deal?
Well, yesterday I was late,
and everyone looked at me.
- Hi, Sam.
- Oh, hi, Cindy.
How are you?
Ho ho, hey, Merv Griffin!
Nice interview.
Come on back, Lindsay.
Something wrong?
No. Just checkin' in with
my good friend Lindsay Weir.
- Anything wrong with that?
- I guess not.
So how's everything going?
Classes keeping you interested?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, have you checked
out the new Rush album?
I've gotta say
it rocks pretty heavily,
and that's comin' from
a guy who's seen Hendrix live.
Yeah, I... I heard it's pretty good.
So...
I understand you and Nick Andopolis
are gettin' pretty tight.
How's that goin'?
Mr. Rosso, Nick and I
are just friends. That's all.
No need to explain anything to me.
I got it on in a van at Woodstock,
I'm not judgin' anybody.
I just want you to know what
you're getting yourself into.
I mean, when you're a teenager,
your emotions are running high,
and it's easy to get confused.
I want you... to have this.
Oh, my god!
Come on! Don't let
the pamphlet freak you out.
There's some good stuff in there.
It's just that you've
got to be careful these days.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
- Do you?
I thought I knew, too.
Until one night,
I was checkin' out this discotheque.
The one at the bowling alley
on 15 mile.
I met this girl.
She seemed really nice.
We danced a bit.
I kissed her.
One thing led to another and...
Now I get sores on my lip
once a month.
I have herpes.
It doesn't hurt that much,
but believe me, you don't want it.
Can I please go now?
I just blew your mind, didn't I?
No! No, I just, um...
I don't want to be late for lunch.
Just use your head, Lindsay.
That's all I ask.
You got it.
Man! That Gordon reeks!
You think he ever takes a shower?
Maybe he takes baths instead.
My mom says
they don't really get you clean.
Yeah, you just sit
in your own filth.
All right, let's settle down.
We've got a lot to do today.
We're going to be
dissecting kittens.
Just trying to get your attention.
But you'll get
your lab partners today.
McKenna?
I hope I get to be
paired up with Cindy.
- Hey, what about me?
- Please let it be Cindy.
Your lab partner
will be Gordon Crisp.
Bill, your partner
will be Cindy Sanders.
How interesting.
Me and Cindy, you and Gordon.
Well, I better... I better go
sit next to my lab partner.
Well, there goes Cindy's
grade point average.
Excuse me, madam.
- May I take this seat?
- Sure, have a seat.
All right, people, let's go.
Find your lab partner.
Remember, science waits for no man.
I think it's really great
that you and Nick are goin' out.
Yeah. Me, too.
No, I mean it.
He's a great guy.
I give him a hard time, but...
You know...
He's the man!
I just think it's really
great you guys are goin' out.
He's a really great guy.
Yeah. I know.
Nick's a stud... You know?
I mean, he may not seem like it,
but he is.
Mr. Desario,
don't you have something to do?
Right, but I thought we were going
to do that after class, Miss Yeats.
Ha ha. Be still, my beating heart.
I like that dress.
How come you're not eating?
This tuna salad smells like Gordon.
Yeah, Cindy smells, too.
Like flowers.
Did she say anything about me?
I don't know.
Her tongue was in
my ear the whole time.
Shut up!
I'm gonna have to get Cindy to come
and kiss it and make it all better.
You guys are jerks!
Hi, Sam. Hey, Nate.
- It's Neal...
- OK, so, Bill, I was thinking,
we should probably get
started on our lab assignment.
I have cheerleading practice at 3:00,
French club at...
3:45, but do you think you could
come over at, like... 4:30?
To your house?
I think I could squeeze you in.
Great! I'll see you then.
Cindy's house. 4:30.
Should I wear Hai Karate
or Old Spice?
Definitely Old Spice.
Check it out.
Donkey basketball Saturday.
- I love those things.
- I think they're mean.
Oh, yeah,
like the donkeys really give a care.
How would you like
some big fat teacher
on your back while you had
to run around a gym?
Yeah, how did your date
with Fredricks go?
- You wanna hang out Friday night?
- Um, yeah.
Yeah? Cool.
Have you seen The Elephant Man?
The movie.
Oh! The...
Guy with... The deformed guy.
No, why?
I was thinking
maybe we could go see it.
Come on, people, the bell has rung.
Quit your dilly-dallying
and get to class!
Lord and lady skips-a-lot,
come on, let's go!
Yes, ma'am... I mean, sir.
I was actually...
I was actually thinking...
We could hang out
at my house Friday night.
My parents are going out and
my brothers aren't going to be around.
So, I thought we could just
hang out or something...
Come on, get the lead out.
Let's go!
So Friday night at my house?
Romeo and Juliet.
Come on. Last one
in class, first one on welfare.
It's your choice.
I like your room, Sam.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, whoa! Cool sheets!
"May the force be with you."
OK, let's see here.
I already started on
the plant cell diagram.
It's the animal stuff that's tricky.
Yeah, I know. I couldn't tell what
was going on under that microscope.
- Could I borrow your pencil?
- Oh, yeah. OK, sure.
There you go.
- Here you go. Thanks.
- Thanks.
What's the matter, Sam?
Oh, nothing! Nothing.
I know what's bugging you.
You didn't want to be
lab partners with me.
Well...
You wanted to be with Cindy sanders.
Yeah... yeah!
How did you know?
- It's obvious you like her.
- It is?
- Do you think she likes me?
- I don't know.
Cheerleaders are hard
to read that way.
You and Cindy would
make a good couple.
She's popular and everything,
but... she needs someone like you.
- You'd be good for her.
- Really?
Thanks, Mom.
I'm so bad. I can't do my homework
without having a snack first.
Do you have chips or cookies?
No, I'm sorry.
My parents don't let us eat junk food.
Do you want to watch TV?
Welcome Back, Kotter is on.
Are you OK?
That's Horshack...
From the show.
Oh. Well, I've never
really seen it before, so...
What?!
Well, I don't really watch TV.
Except for the Muppet Show.
I'm sorry, I've been hogging these.
Did you want something to drink?
OK, I'll go get some lemonade.
This stupid chair always does that.
I'll be right back.
This is what you should do.
Find out her schedule
and memorize it.
That way, you can bump
into her and say hi.
Compliment her hair,
and the next time you run into her,
say, "hey, did you
change your hair?"
{\Pretty }Soon, you'll have tons
of stuff to talk about.
- Good idea.
- And join all her after-school clubs.
A, you'll get to see her more.
B, you'll find out about her interests,
and pretend they're your interests, too.
- That makes sense.
- And C...
Very important.
You can make sure she's not
falling in love with anyone else,
like your friend Bill.
You think
Cindy'll fall in love with Bill?!
I don't know.
Being lab partners is like getting
stranded on a desert island.
You never know what might happen.
Hey, man, I heard Kim got
an A on her world civ test.
That's great.
Huh?
Oh, no, that's right.
That was my girlfriend.
Oh, that's really funny.
Ah, you know what, though?
Oh, man.
Lindsay got detention.
For flipping off her gym teacher.
Oh, no, that's right.
That was your girlfriend.
I heard Kim punched you
in the chest really hard.
Whoops. That was me!
That was really hard.
I'm telling you, she's abnormal.
She eats carrot sticks,
and she likes Miss piggy.
So what?
The muppets are cool.
Yeah, Swedish Chef is kinda cool,
but Miss Piggy's lame.
Look, Professor Honeywell
is hysterical.
Cindy is not abnormal.
Yeah?
She cut the cheese.
Oh, my god!
That's not funny.
I heard it, man. I swear.
She blamed it on the chair,
but she cut the cheese.
Some chairs make weird noises!
- What kind of a chair was it?
- I don't know.
- Vinyl?
- Well, vinyl chairs always squeak.
It wasn't a squeak.
It was the sound
of cheese being cut.
You know what?
I think you're making all of this up
because you want me
to stop liking her
because you like her now.
What?!
Hey, what's up?
Hi, Cindy.
You changed your hair.
It just looks really flat today.
Oh, Bill, I wanted to tell you.
I have a yearbook
meeting after school,
but we can work on
our lab assignment afterwards.
Oh, I can't wait. Maybe this time,
you can come over to my house.
Oh, and by the way, I finally
got to see Welcome Back, Kotter.
You were right.
Mr. Woodman is so funny.
Yeah, I'm tellin' ya,
that guy is totally underrated.
Lindsay, it's a test, not a race.
And if it were a race,
Millie already beat you.
I need to talk to you.
- Why?
- I just do.
Yes.
Remember when we used
to love Leif Garrett
and we used to take
my Dynamite magazines out
and kiss his picture?
And we went to see him
at the state fair
and cut all the way
to the front row.
It turned out to be Jack Albertson
from Chico and the Man.
Oh, yeah.
That kinda sucked.
It wasn't so bad.
It was kinda funny.
Millie, I'm just saying that...
We always dreamed
of having a boyfriend,
and I think I finally
have a boyfriend,
and... and I think
he wants to have sex.
You can't have sex with Nick.
Once you do, you'll
never be the same again.
Plus no one would want to marry you.
Why should they buy the cow
when they can get the milk for free?
Some of you will be happy to see that,
after several complaints,
I have eliminated "disco days"
from the running.
- Who's got photographs?
- Hey, Cindy.
Hey, Sam.
I didn't know you were on yearbook.
Did you just join?
I want to become more involved in...
after-school activities.
- That's cool.
- Any article ideas?
Cindy?
It's called
"Diary of a McKinley student."
It describes a high school
student's experience.
Go ahead. Read it.
"September 3, 1980.
"Freshman year.
Dear diary,
"high school.
So cavernous.
"Cold, uninviting.
"Starting over. No identity.
"Everyone looking, everyone judging.
"Their eyes pierce my soul.
"Aimless youth,
all trapped together,
"but no one connecting.
"Education or isolation?
Class dismissed."
Thank you, Sylvia Plath.
It's a little dark.
We want to sell yearbooks,
not tell the truth.
It was just an idea.
The next thing we need
to talk about is ad sales.
Yes, I know. It's no fun.
It's not creative,
but if we don't sell
this ad space by tomorrow,
we won't have money for printing.
Here's a list of the local merchants
we haven't hit yet.
My Dad owns A1 Sporting Goods.
Great! You can start with his store.
Why don't you pair up with Cindy?
Sure.
Mr. Stoker, you pair up with carl.
Can you believe we have
to sell yearbook ads?
Yeah. That really sucks.
Hey, Lindsay.
I got something to show you.
What?
What's up?
Somebody likes you,
that's what's up.
I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
What's his name? What's he like?
I want to know everything, really.
He's just a friend.
A friend?
Do I know him?
Well, open the card.
What?
Sweetie?
"W-a-t-e."
My Dad's store is
right down the block.
Yeah?
All right, great.
You know, I really liked what
you wrote for the yearbook.
I think it was really cool.
Mr. Mainzer doesn't know
what he's talking about.
Thanks.
And you know, you're right.
Being a freshman stinks.
I know, it's like...
Everyone pigeonholes you
and expects you to act a certain way.
If you're a cheerleader, you're supposed
to be in a good mood all the time.
Yeah, that must be tough.
I know! There are some days when
I'm just feeling a little bit cranky.
Like today.
I just got my period.
So what? Deal with it.
All right, thanks, Mike.
And good luck with that bomb shelter.
Sam? I thought you were going
to help me out today.
Oh, yeah, I was
at a yearbook meeting.
Yearbook? When the heck
did you join that?
Today.
This is my friend Cindy.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Hello.
Look, Sam.
Now, look, you gotta
put in your time.
I'm trying to teach
you a work ethic here.
Now, if you want to buy
those crazy Micronaut things,
you're going to have
to earn the money.
Oh, for cryin' out loud,
who mixed up the balls?
Um, you have
a really nice store, Mr. Weir.
Dave, bring up those boxes up there.
Uh, Dad, Cindy and I...
Well, we're selling yearbook ads.
1/8 of a page is $25.
Do you want to buy one?
1/8 for $25?!
Sam, that's highway robbery!
I can get a full page in
a sunday paper for a hundred.
But this is really important
that Cindy and I sell these.
Oh, well, tell you what.
Give me a full page.
Wow! Thank you, Mr. Weir.
No problem.
Sam is my best salesman, you know?
Really?
We've got 16 more ads to sell.
We should go to the big stores first.
- They'll probably buy more space.
- But the small stores close earlier.
Oh, wait a minute now.
You're squandering your manpower.
What you gotta do is split up,
and, you know, take separate routes.
That way you can cover more ground.
Thank you.
But then again...
Some of the greatest
salesmen worked in teams.
Yeah, maybe we should
stick together.
But we'll both finish sooner
if we split up, don't you think?
Yeah, I guess so.
Thank you, Mr. Weir.
See ya, Dad.
Sir, don't open that bait.
So I saw Sam's yearbook
partner at the store today.
Quite a cute little number.
God, Dad!
What? What's wrong with that?
She's cute.
Am I supposed
to call her "Ms." or something?
See, Lindsay, Sam's not afraid to
show off his girlfriend.
What's eating you?
- Lindsay has a boyfriend.
- Oh, my God!
What?! Who?
Someone sent her a red rose.
He must be some kind of Romeo.
Yeah, I'll say he is.
Who the hell is this joker?
He's just a friend.
Nobody who's "just a friend"
sends a single rose.
I know all about single roses.
I sent one to your mother,
and I know when and why I sent it.
Harold.
Lindsay, you can tell us who it is,
and we won't make a big deal
out of it, all right?
OK, it's Nick.
Not another one of those burn-outs.
Nick? Was he the one that
ate all my fruit roll-ups?
- You said he could have them.
- No, I... I know.
You'd better know right now that your
mother and I are not taking care of some
"wedlock" baby, while you're
off gallivanting at college.
- Dad!
- I'm warning you, Lindsay.
Absolutely forbid you
from seeing this boy.
Well, at least she didn't yell.
Honey.
See, you don't know what it's like
to have a daughter
and want to protect her.
Well, I mean, you will someday.
We'd like that day to be
a long time from now.
We just want to be sure
that this boy respects you, honey.
Not all of them do.
Trust me. I know what they're like.
I was one of them.
Ugh! He was.
I know. You find it hard to believe,
but I did some stupid
things when I was young.
Honey.
Tell her about Korea.
Ko...
... rea.
Well, one day...
I went into Seoul on a weekend pass
and went to this bar
and I had a few too many.
And...
I followed a couple
of my buddies to the...
red-light district.
Your father's first time
wasn't special,
and he's always regretted it.
It was the worst
$5.00 I've ever spent.
And I wish I could get
that $5.00 back.
Ohh, come on! Please stop!
What your father
is trying to say is...
that your virginity is...
a gift.
Hold on a second.
I gotta find my smokes.
Did you take 'em?
We're goin' to Des's tonight.
Are you coming?
No. Oh, hey.
No, actually,
I'm hangin' out with Linds.
All right.
Make it happen.
Oh, tonight's the night!
Call me tomorrow, Lindsay.
I want to know everything.
So do I, Lindsay.
Keep yawnin' like that,
you're gonna dislocate your jaw.
Guys, wait up.
Hey, Sam.
You know what Cindy said last night?
What? That she's in love with you?
That... that she thinks
you're smart and funny
and you don't care
if she cuts the cheese?
You know what, Bill?
Why don't you just go out with her?
Why don't you marry her?
I don't care anymore, OK?
I don't care.
God!
I was gonna say
she said she thought you were
the nicest guy in the school.
Cindy said that?
No, wait. No, seriously.
You don't like Cindy?
No. Man, I was just
messin' with you.
Bill's been in love
with Melissa Karpinski
ever since he stood behind
her at the Dairy Queen.
She was wearing this halter top.
She is one foxy lady.
She doesn't cut the cheese.
Come on! Everybody cuts the cheese.
Anyways Melissa Karpinski
is way out of your league.
She goes out with, like,
the big football players.
I'm going to fill out soon.
You know my cousin Jeff?
He was a shrimp until he turned 16,
and then he got all tall
and muscular in a month.
Now he looks like the Hulk.
You really think I'll fill out?
Yeah, not like me, though.
In 3 years, I'm going to be enormous.
Oh, yeah. Me, too.
My dad is 6'3".
Hey, listen, you guys.
Why don't we go see
Airplane again on saturday?
Surely you will.
Don't call me Shirley.
"Billy, have you ever seen
a grown man naked?"
Hey, why don't we go ask
Gordon to come with us?
But... he smells.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
But he's really cool.
Maybe he doesn't
even know he smells.
Are you gonna tell him?
Hey, Gordon.
Hey. How's it going
with you-know-who?
Did you join her clubs?
Yeah, yeah.
And we got to hang out.
- Uh, sort of.
- Cool.
You know, she smells great.
It must be her shampoo.
Or... deodorant or something.
What kind of deodorant do you use?
I know I smell, Sam.
What are you talking about?
I may be smelly, but I'm not stupid.
So... What is that?
It's a medical condition.
It's called tryptophanuria.
It's genetic.
Wow! Is there a cure?
Not yet, but research
is progressing.
So you're going to be...
smelly the rest of your life?
But I don't mind.
Nice people don't care,
and it weeds out the jerks.
My mom says it's a gift.
Cool.
You know...
Neal, Bill, and I are going
to the movies Saturday night.
- You want to come with us?
- OK.
I'll try not to stink up the joint.
- Just kidding.
- Yeah, I know.
Hey, Sam.
- So, did you sell all your ads?
- No, not really.
That's OK. No one else
did except for me.
So I'm really glad
you joined the yearbook.
- I had a lot of fun yesterday.
- Yeah, me, too.
So anyway, what are you
doing after school?
Is there another yearbook meeting?
No, I was just gonna go to Sackie's,
I was wondering if you wanted to come.
Don't touch the hair!
Stop it!
Yeah, yeah, I'll come.
Definitely. Sure.
Great.
All right. I better go sit down.
See you after school.
See ya.
"See you after school."
Thanks, Sam.
Look, are you sure
you don't need any money?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I love bacon cheeseburgers.
Really?
I kinda expected you
to like, you know,
healthy food like carrots.
Yuck! If I ever saw another
carrot again, it'd be too soon.
I mean, my parents
never take us to Sackie's.
That's why I have
to sneak here after school.
- Want some?
- Sure, thanks.
He's smiling and nodding because
he wants me to pass him the ball.
So I throw it to him,
and he ducks like a girl.
Do you know Todd Schellinger?
Well, not personally.
But...
Why?
I don't know. He's kinda cute,
don't you think?
I guess.
OK, I've never really
told anyone this before.
But I have, like,
the hugest crush on him.
At last week's game, he asked
my friend Joe for my phone number.
Do you think that means he likes me?
He asked for your phone number?
Well, yeah, but...
I mean, he never called.
And every time I see him, he acts
like he doesn't even know I exist.
Well, maybe he's just shy.
You think?
I don't know.
I'm always so nervous around him.
I never know what to say.
It's not like with you.
You're so easy to talk to.
You're just like my sister.
Thanks.
My god, did he just look at me?
Don't look.
- Have a nice time, honey.
- Don't stay out too late.
I won't. Bye.
Bye.
Sam?
Hey, son.
Yeah?
Come on over here and
join your mom and Dad.
- Why? What did I do?
- Nothing, silly.
- Come on.
- Get your butt over here.
- "What did I do?"
- Come on.
I have homework.
You can do it tomorrow.
Family time's more important.
You must have been right there.
Perfect timing.
Come on in.
I hope you like the Moody Blues.
Oh, yeah, they're really great.
I know, they're kind of wimpy,
but I think this song's OK.
So...
Wow! Whose basketball trophies?
Yeah, they're mine.
I actually used to play.
Why'd you quit?
They found a dime bag in my locker,
and then they kicked me off the team.
And then I just lost interest.
Oh, yeah. No, that one's
actually for bowling.
Do you want to hang out
downstairs for a while?
Whoa! Uh...
Yeah.
Great.
Nick, what is all this?
Come here.
Sit down.
Lindsay...
This song says all the things
I haven't been able to say to you.
It's a little corny.
But I mean it.
Lady...
When you're with me, I'm smiling.
Give me...
All your love
your hands
build me up when I'm sinking
Touch me
and my troubles all fade
You see, Lindsay,
nothing about you and me
should ever be rushed.
I made that mistake before.
But I'm not going
to make it with you.
Because we've got time.
We got all the time in the world.
And you know why?
'Cause you're my lady
See, Lindsay,
we were made for each other.
You want to make out or something?
No.
All guys want to make out.
But I just want to hold you.
What's better than this?
Can I have the ding dong?
Sure.
How was your "date"?
It was OK.
what'd you do?
Mom and Dad made me watch TV
with them all night.
They were weird.
Yeah, what else is new?
So, is Nick, like,
your boyfriend now?
I guess so.
But he likes you a lot, right?
Oh, yeah.
I wish Cindy liked me.
She likes you.
Yeah... Like a friend.
That's the worst.
I don't need another friend.
I already have two.
How many more friends
does a guy need?
Hello?
Oh, hi, Cindy.
Todd called?
Yeah, it's great.
He said that?
No!
No, no, no, I'm not busy.
Tell me what else happened.