Franklin & Bash (2011–2014): Season 4, Episode 2 - Kershaw v. Lincecum - full transcript

Dude, what happened?

I remember games.

Skee-ball.

Ticket envy. It's understandable.

No, man.

Your off-the-wall carom
shot is just wrong.

It goes against skee-ball principle.

You got to go straight ahead.

Our whole lives are carom shots.

Hey.

Ah, you're up.



What are you doing here?

I slipped in late last night.

You boys were out cold.

What?

I can't drop by the
house that I own...

The one that you rent at
a very favorable rate.

No, you can. It's just w...

W-w-we would rather straighten up.

Oh, boys, please.

Don't be intimidated by its size.

Remember, men of my
generation were held up

to a far more rigorous
natural selection.

I mean, just to make it to childbirth

was a feat of Darwinistic proportions.



Our mothers smoked and drank.

We were raised in houses of ill repute

and fed dark liquor and uncured meats.

Oh, my God. Thank God.

- I can't see out of my left eye.
- Geez.

What's the latest on getting
my law license reinstated?

We can't do it until
you admit the truth.

What? That Damien helped Rachel

embezzle millions of
our clients' money.

- Yes.
- I've told you,

I-I just don't want my
nephew involved in this.

But he did it.

If Karp hadn't gotten drunk
and slept with Rachel,

she wouldn't have gotten the codes
to access the client accounts.

I want to look forward, not back.

Until I get my license again,

I'm gonna need my master bedroom back

and the guardian lions returned
to the meditation room.

Well, if that's the meditation
room, where does that leave us?

I don't know.

Suppose you could always bunk together

in the tradition of Slim and
George from "Of Mice and Men."

You know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna work extra hard
to get your hearing pulled up.

Yeah, like, to maybe yesterday.

Good. Excellent.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I have to keep the old heart rate up.

- Absolutely.
- Go for it.

We got to get Stanton
back in his office.

I was gonna say we need to
get him out of our house.

Well, technically, it's his house.

Correction... we got to get
Stanton out of his house.

That was amazing. Your
closing was incredible.

That speech was 1/3 "St. Elmo's Fire"

and 2/3 "Hunger Games"?

When Jared put that rabbit in
the grandmother's lap, I lost it.

I just never expected that
in a tax-evasion case.

Any excuse to use magic.

So, when's it my turn?

You know, I just can't wait
to get in the courtroom

and learn underneath you guys.

You want that one?

I stopped playing t-ball
when I turned 30.

Oh, we just lost James
Kenner as a client.

He won't trust his business
to anyone but Stanton Infeld.

Well, Stanton doesn't
have his license. We do.

I understand that.

Oh, look who it is.

Crap.

I think it's pronounced "Karp."

That's what I said.

If it isn't our favorite backstabber.

I think there's a no-animal
policy at the courthouse.

Oh, it's a rabbit. They
used it in closing.

I was referring to them.

Damien Karp.

Hi. Anita Haskins. I've
heard a lot a you.

Don't look him in the eye.

He'll ck out your
soul like a dementor.

Is the, uh... the cute,
little bunny rabbit...

Is that your new mascot
or just another sideshow?

It just won the case.

Kind of like we do every
time we go against you.

Well, real law,

the kind that's practiced
by real lawyers,

does not require gimmicks.

If you accepted a job with
these two street minstrels,

you must've gotten your
degree at a mall kiosk.

She did. A little kiosk
called Stanford.

And if it wasn't for Infeld,
you'd be out on the streets.

He saved your ass.

- Please. I carried his ass.
- I carried your asses.

You aren't worthy of being
anywhere near Infeld's ass.

Ours, maybe. Why are we
talking about asses?

No idea.

Is this the kind of
scintillating legal repartee

that you were expecting
when you were at Stanford?

Hey, we just signed Jim Kenner.

Well, turn out the lights
of your firm on the way out.

Very nice to meet you, Sabrina.

- Anita.
- Whatever.

When can I go up against that guy?

Soon as we're done with him.

There's a woman who came in
asking for a divorce attorney.

Yes! You've got to let
me on this one, please.

- Easy.
- Where is she?

In the conference room.

Bogey... 10:00.

Dr. Beckmann and our property manager.

- Ooh.
- What about the case?

Uh, Anita, can you
babysit our new client?

Our client? Yes. I'll
start the client intake.

I'll get the basic information...

Okay, just go. Fine. Please, go.

If Nate finds out that the doctor's
been paying us rent under the table,

he'll evict us.

Uh, Jess? Code red, level "G."

Go, go, go, go.

Nate, you're needed down in the
parking garage... Emergency.

Again? What happened?

The valet damaged a
client's Lamborghini.

They won't leave until they
talk to the property manager.

Doctor. Doctor. How you doing, huh?

Great suit. Great suit.
What's going on?

Turn over here and cough.

That was our property manager
that you were talking to,

and, you know, he kind of frowns
upon us subleasing this space.

Especially to a cosmetic
surgeon in a law firm.

He's picky like that.

Don't worry. We were talking baseball.

Oh, big series this weekend...
Dodgers-Giants.

All right. Great.

Okay.

Hey, uh, thanks for the urinal advice.

Yeah, that's where I
do my best thinking.

More of a shower guy myself.

Good to know.

He said, "it's not enough
to have a specialty.

You need a sub-specialty."

He's brilliant.

Yeah, we really got to go.
We got someone waiting.

I'm gonna be the areola
king of the West Side.

- Sorry?
- Go on. Finish.

Well, any plastic surgeon in the
country can do a generic boob job.

I'm gonna master an
intricate anatomical niche...

One that only I can tailor.

- And improve.
- And enlarge.

I was gonna say rejuvenate.

- We have a client.
- Yeah.

We really should go.

An areola specialist. Finally.

Right?

I love him. I don't
want to divorce him.

I mean, no little girl dreams of
becoming a divorcée in encino.

I have to do it.

He's created a situation

where I can never measure up
to his impossible standards.

- We're gonna help you...
- Yeah.

But I-I can't imagine
there's a standard

you don't measure up to or surpass.

She's still married.

Technically.

My husband is very wealthy.

Neat. That's great.

Under California law, so are you.

No, I'm not.

I signed a prenup that will
leave me with nothing.

There's a fidelity clause,

but he's been faithful
so far as I know.

Contracts are made to be broken.

We got this.

You haven't seen this contract yet.

Contract hasn't seen us.

The good part is,

you came to a reputable
law firm like ours.

Hey, uh, you know what?

Why don't we start
with headlines, hmm?

The headlines are that we've been
married for less than four years,

so the prenup says that
we both leave the marriage

with exactly what we
came into it with.

For me, that's student loans
and $3,000 in credit-card debt.

You signed away your
community property rights?

I was in love.

I thought that he loved me
and he would take care of me.

Well, let us take care
of you now, Chelsea.

Uh-huh.

How?

That's our job.

The important thing is,

we're on your team now and
we're gonna win together.

Together.

So, what are you gonna do on your own?

Well, I have a degree in marketing.

So I'll cobble together
some part-time work

until I find something that fits.

Well, call any time.

Any time. Don't hesitate, okay?

- Thank you.
- All right.

- I feel better already.
- Take care.

See ya. Honey?

I thought you'd left already.

Come back inside. Let's talk.

From now on, I think you
should talk to my lawyers,

Franklin and Bash.

I'll call you later.

Her lawyers?

I pay you rent and now you're
handling my wife's divorce?

We didn't know Chelsea was
your wife when she came in.

No idea. She came in... foot traffic.

Yeah, she was a walk-in client.

She was just here. We had a fight.

Okay, look. We're gonna tell her
that we can't take the case.

Yeah, we're not gonna take the case.

- We're not gonna take the case.
- We're done. Okay?

All right? We're sorry. Okay.

Wait.

I'm gonna end up payingfor
Chelsea's lawyers anyhow,

so it might as well be someone I know.

And you guys wouldn't screw me over.

- No. Pfft. We're buds.
- Never.

I mean, I-I gave you the
whole areola idea, remember?

He gave you the booby thing.

I can't make her not divorce me,

but you could put in a good word.

Come again?

Maybe you could convince Chelsea
to reconsider us splitting up.

Oh, yeah, that's not really
in our job description.

If you cross me, I do
have a pirated sublease

that I could break at any time.

Or I could rat you out
to your property manager.

Okay, the blackmail thing is kind of
spoiling the can-do spirit here, Nick.

Oh, look. Here he is now.

Excuse us for a moment.

- Nate.
- Hey.

Guys, this is the second false alarm

in my parking garage in four days,

and both times, I was told to
go down there by your intern.

Huh? That's weird.

That is weird.

Uh, we have your rent money,

but we're gonna need to
exercise our grace period.

You already passed the grace period.

Grace period on the grace period?

Unless there's something
from us you want in trade.

Well, your firm does own Dodgers season
tickets right behind home plate.

Seen you guys sitting there on TV.

You drink a lot of beer.

Well, some games, it's
hard to get through sober.

Oh, sorry it's not a
journey cover band.

Me, too.

It's my wife's birthday,

and she would get a real
kick out of being on TV.

Yeah, Nate, uh, the thing is...

You got it. When?

Friday night.

Giants-Dodgers... Kershaw vs.
Lincecum.

And then you'll give us a
two-week extension on our rent?

One week.

Sold. Tickets will be in
your office by Friday.

Yep. Look for them on Friday.

Dude, you do remember we sold the firm's
seats three months ago to make...

Rent. I know.

But before we sold the season,

the rest of the tickets were
claimed by employees and clients.

So maybe we can get them back.

Who's got the seats?

Karp.

Great plan.

You got a better one?

Wait a minute.

You want to tell the state
bar that I'm a sex addict?

- Genius, right?
- You were reckless.

You exercised terrible judgment
when you slept with Rachel King.

You are a very, very sick man...
perverted.

Very perverted. Like R.
Kelly perverted.

But you recognize you got a
problem and you want treatment.

And after which, we'll ask
that you be reinstated,

and Karp's name never comes up.

Ahh. Well, I...

It's a refreshing strategy.
I'll give you that.

And, you know, I'm rather touched
that you went so far afield.

Well, sir, we owe you our livelihood.

We owe you our lives, really.

And the firm you built needs you back,

because our biggest clients
want you and no one else.

I'm... twisted.

I'm a slave to my lustful impulses.

Y-yeah.

Where were you the day you
signed the prenup, Chelsea?

I was at Nick's exam room,
the old one on Beverly.

We were discussing my next surgery.

He was looking through
this thing, the...

The illuminated magnifier.

I needed to examined the hypertrophic
scarring on her cheek bone.

Well, it sounds less like
a doctor/patient dynamic

and more like a svengali choke hold.

Objection. Argumentative.

He literally had knife to my throat.

Objection.

Are you saying he was threatening you?

Do you get paid by the objection?

Because Civil Code 1569 says

that whether a party is under duress

is based on the totality
of the circumstances.

A scalpel to her throat...

It was her cheek.

Where are Franklin and Bash?

He was always insisting
that his way was best,

from how to make a kale smoothie

to where we should vacation.
It had to be France.

No matter how many times I told
him I wasn't interested in going.

And we never went.

You won, okay?

She won?

You're trying to leave
her without a penny.

I know. "Objection." All yours.

Mrs. Beckmann, you claim my
client exerted total control

when you were working
him over, weren't you?

No.

You wanted free surgeries...
Three, in fact...

And you got them.

Objection.

I don't know what he just said,

but it seems a little tense in here.

Very tense in here.

- Glad you could make it.
- Yeah, hey.

Chelsea, lovely to see you.

Is that a new haircut?

'Cause I got to tell
you, I'm digging it.

Totally. It's like Jason Statham.

I suggest that we break for the day.

Why? We just got here.

You and your client should
think about a settlement.

This prenup is not valid,

and your client violated every
medical-ethics law in the book.

I'm sure the A.M.A. would be
interested in hearing about that.

Ooh.

I need a moment with these two.

I don't think you should.

I'll be fine.

I thought this was gonna be easy.

- It will be.
- Yeah.

Did you talk to her about
rethinking our divorce?

So far, she hasn't been...
overly receptive.

Maybe if this one would
stop hitting on her.

I'm not. I'm just...

- Irresistible?
- Exactly. Thank you.

On the, uh, awkweird side,

uh, we're gonna need a
rent check by Friday.

Nice. Hitting on the wife of the
one tenant we need to pay his rent.

What are t... w-what makes you
think I was hitting on her?

Kissing the hand of a client
during a settlement conference?

Or maybe I was trying to show Chelsea,

as well as the good doctor,

that she is a beautiful woman who
does not need to be operated on,

and she should be valued for
how she looks and who she is.

You were hitting on her a little bit.

- Tiny bit.
- Nice.

Okay. Good
work over there, but...

Really good work.

Yeah, but, uh, is... is
there any way that you can...

Kick ass but still be nice about it?

See, there's a big picture
we have to worry about.

- Big picture?
- Big picture.

Yeah, well, see, Nick's practice
provides a valuable revenue stream.

And Chelsea's our client.
Rock beats scissors?

But paper beats rock
and pays our salaries.

Unless you want to work for free.

I already do.

And if this goes to
court, can I argue?

No. Um, you're... you're
not ready. I'm sorry.

But could you... I have to j...
excuse me.

It's a shame, you know?

It's... it's... it's
the end of a marriage.

But is it me, or do I sense
that you still love him?

No. It's all you.

Chelsea, you know, divorce
can be a bitter battle

and it's filled with revenge
tactics and no one wins.

And I get that you're pissed at Nick.

He can be a douche.

- Big douche.
- Big douche. Interrupting you a lot.

Operating on you a lot.

But he still loves you.

Are you... are you trying
to get us back together?

- No.
- No. No.

But not not no.

I just believe in the
institution of marriage.

Call me a romantic.

No, don't call him a romantic.

I came to you because Nick told
me that you guys never lose,

and I can't afford to lose this one.

Maybe I should hire counsel

who is actually looking out for me...

Someone who really is on my team.

We're gonna have to do this
one straight up for our client.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Just try one of these.

I don't want any of those.

Try it. No. It doesn't
taste like food.

- Seriously?
- Tastes like styrofoam.

- Hey. Karp!
- Hey.

- Wow, man.
- Look at you.

You wear the hell out
of a two-button suit.

Working out all the time now?

Okay, Bash and Franklin
coming with compliments?

Yes, I... I will definitely fall
for whatever it is that you need.

- That's just hurtful.
- Ow. Ow.

I've got my new client,
Jim Kenner, waiting.

Oh, wait. He used to be
with your firm, right?

Hey, if we have to lose a client.

Think it's a little more than one.

Just happy it's to you.

Here's the deal. We're trying
to do a solid for a buddy

who wants to see Kershaw
pitch this weekend.

He's had a run of tough luck lately.

His... his girl just dumped him.

Boring. I'm not giving you my tickets.

Go get some on Stubhub.

We would, but these
particular tickets...

Location, location, location.

Mm-hmm. They're right
behind home plate.

Home plate. Like he
knows where that is.

You don't even know if the
baseball's wound or stuffed.

Do you know who does know
the answer to that question?

My new client, Jim Kenner.

Now, you guys need something,
which means I get to drive this.

If you can get me into Three Olives
Grill for 8:00 P.M. on Friday night,

I will consider giving
you the tickets.

Three Olives rezzy. Done.

Three Olives has a
six-month waiting list.

For other people.

You got it.

Good luck.

"Three Olives rezzy."
What do you mean, "rezzy"?

Why don't you kissy my ass?

You have any other great ideas?

"Hey, Karp, look at the
way you wear that suit.

Want to get some dinner?"

Your husband says your nose is what?

Bumpy? Big?

He says he can make it perfect.

Let's... let's try to see
it from his point of view.

I mean, you are a
beautiful woman, and...

- Come on.
- Objection.

- This isn't happy hour, Mr. Bash.
- Easy, Clooney.

Guys, just trying to
do my job here, okay?

Dr. Beckmann's surgeries
left you with no scarring,

no long-term health
problems, so what's wrong?

I never wanted to be
changed this much.

I didn't think I needed to be.

I no longer look like
anyone in my family.

Objection.

Aside from trying to
engender sympathy,

what does any of this have to do
with the validity of the prenup?

What it shows is that Dr. Beckmann...

While a fine, skilled
surgeon and a good man.

- Great man.
- Great man.

He overrode Chelsea's feelings
on many things... her nose.

And the control he exerted over it
is a symbol of their entire marriage,

including the prenup.

Overruled. Her testimony will stand.

Any further questions, Mr. Bash?

No, Your Honor. We're good.

Mrs. Beckmann,

you testified your husband
exerted unfair control over you,

that you felt you were coerced
into signing the prenup.

Yes.

On February 11, 2010,

did you go alone to the law
office of Jackson & Mandelbaum

for legal advice on this
prenuptial agreement?

Yes, but...

Are you aware that the ability
to consult with counsel

is the strongest
argument against duress?

Objection, Your Honor.
Calls for legal expertise.

Sustained.

You failed to reveal
that you'd seen a lawyer.

Isn't that right?

- I forgot. But Nick said...
- You answered the question.

Your Honor, Mrs. Beckmann knew
exactly what she was doing

at the time she signed the contract.

Based on Mrs. Beckmann's testimony,

I'm ruling there was no duress.

Barring any further defense,

I'm inclined to find the
prenuptial agreement stands.

We're in recess until tomorrow,

at which time, I'll make my ruling.

I met with that lawyer
for five minutes.

He was a friend of Nick's.
He didn't even charge me.

Well, you're paying for it now.

This was in an igloo?

And you'll testify to that?

Well, that... that...
that's all we need.

Thank you.

- Dude.
- Huh?

Infeld had sex with an inuit woman...

Get this... 14 times in one night.

That's not as impressive as you think.

14 times?!

It's the north pole.

A night there lasts like six months.

Good point.

Aah!

I did not hear the door.

No, sorry. We just, uh...

Here. L-let us help you with this.

No. D-d-d-d-don't. Don't.

If you get hurt, I'll be
in trouble and lawyers.

You're not gonna get in
trouble. We're lawyers.

We're just looking for Chef Sebastian.

Is he in trouble?

No. Nothing like that.
We're actually fans.

Sebastian's not here.
There's a southwest swell.

- Oh, he's a surfer.
- We're... we're surfers.

So what?

Uh, I feel like we got
off to a rough start.

Let's start by helping
you pick this up.

Hmmmmmmm. Truth.

- Oh, come on.
- All right, she's allowed. Okay.

If it were tastefully done

and you had final say
on the published image,

would you pose naked?

Yes.

- Yes! There you go.
- Good answer.

Attagirl. Yeah.

- Your turn.
- Okay, come on. Dare.

Oh, yeah.

- Bring it.
- There he goes.

Kiss your partner.

- Who?
- Him.

- Me?
- Where?

On the mouth.

Dodgers tickets.

- Fine.
- Okay.

Give me a second.

Just.

- Yeah. Ready?
- Yeah.

Go the other way.

You got a big head. Just... that way.

Okay, just don't close your eyes.

- Don't close your eyes.
- I'm not.

Look me in the eyes.

Why do you want
me to look you in the eyes?

'Cause it's... just look me...
Don't close your eyes.

Okay. I...

Big head. Just grab it and do it.

- Okay.
- All right.

Still can't fit you
in for Friday night.

What?! You just made...
You made me kiss him.

Come on. Was it that bad?

It was fine. That's not the point.

Well, if I could add another
table, I would, but I can't.

You can squeeze in another table,

because we have a friend at
the fire marshal's office.

Of course. Yeah.

It's not my call, but...

If you could add two patrons a night,

I think Sebastian would sign off.

- Done.
- Great.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What's this?

A good reason to drop
Chelsea as a client.

Another one?

Our P.I. Dan Mundy found it.

It's Chelsea and Nick 10 years ago.

Whoa! Time has not been
kind to Dr. Beckmann.

But it has been to Chelsea.

Yeah, she looks the same.

Why would she lie about having
him change the way she looks?

Especially something
that's so easy to disprove.

Well, she hid the fact
she consulted a lawyer.

Now this.

Well, at least we won't
have to worry about

pissing off our tenant
by winning the case.

That's not me.

Well, who is it?

I don't know, but look
at where they are.

Looks like Paris.

- You've never been to France?
- No.

Well, you sure look
like this woman now.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

This is me four years ago.

Whoa.

Dr. Beckmann isn't just the
areola king of the West Side.

He's Dr. Frankenstein.

He's been trying to turn
me into an old girlfriend.

Chelsea, we're sorry.

This is my face.

It's what I present to the world.

It's my identity.

Yeah, well, it's not
enough to break a prenup.

No, infidelity is the only
thing that's gonna do that.

And, unfortunately, just
role-playing as his old girlfriend

isn't considered cheating.

But is it role-playing if
he's doing it surgically?

Surgery is permanent.

He cheated on you... with you.

I said to Jorge,
"go back to your roots."

So he decided to take the name Francis

and then he heard my confession.

And, dare I say, the penance
that his holiness handed down

would've broken a Navy
seal, never mind a jesuit.

- Oh, hello, Jared.
- Hey.

Getting, uh, ready for
your big day tomorrow?

State-bar hearing. Absolutely.

I'm feeding my sexual addiction,
trying to get into character.

Good.

Oh, do you know Tanya here?

She has an extra toe on either foot.

You want to see?

I don't want to. I feel I need to.

And how are your digits?

- Pyro? I ca...
- I know.

Hey, look who it is...
Fire marshal Johnson.

Hey, Mark, how's it going?

This is Tanya. She has 12 toes.

- Hi.
- Hello.

And goodbye. We're
gonna go look at them.

Whoa, dude. We have a favor to ask.

- Oh, yeah? What?
- Right.

We have a friend who
owns Three Olives Grill.

- Never been.
- Nah, neither have we,

but she needs some fire-code advice.

She wants to be able
to add another table.

And there's plenty of room.

So we're hoping you can pull some strings
at the department and make that happen?

Yeah. For some legal advice?

Sure.

Okay, I rolled through two stop signs

near the duck pond in Walden Park.

Next thing I know,
I get this summons to appear

before the mountains recreation
and conservation authority.

Yeah, the only reason
people go to that pond

is to get handies from people they
shouldn't be getting handies from.

- Am I right?
- Hey, no judgment.

- We're pro-handy.
- Me, too.

I proposed to my fiancée by that pond.

We want to get married there.

Oh, that's sweet.

It's actually the pond at Griffith Park
where I think you get the handies.

Tell you what, if you
rush this inspection,

we will get that ticket
dismissed by this weekend.

Well, great. My court date's
10:00 A.M. tomorrow morning.

- Wow.
- That's soon.

- Done.
- Awesome.

We're on it. Now, if you'll excuse us,

we're gonna go see which little
piggy went to the market.

I like feet.

Feet freak me out, dude.

Hey. Walk with me.

Kid, you're getting
called up to the majors.

- You're getting in the game.
- Great.

- Yeah, the fishing game.
- What?

Look, any attorney can
make it into the courtroom,

but who gets a shot at wildlife court?

And, no pressure,

but this firm's survival
depends on a victory.

Okay. Uh, when?

In about an hour.

Hello. Good morning.

Okay, so your client rolled through
two stop signs on May 18th,

triggering photo sensors.

The proof is indisputable.
How do you plead?

I am not entering a plea, sir.

Well, then, we'll enter one for you.

Actually, uh, park bylaw 78-B

entitles me the right to obtain pertinent
information in order to defend my client.

All members of the MRCA panel
should expect subpoenas.

I intend to depose anyone
who's ever reviewed footage

from the security cameras
posted near the stop signs.

I will also subpoena all footage from the
motion-active wildlife cameras in the park.

Wildlife cameras?

Excuse me. What law firm are you with?

Fantastic.

You dropped the hammer
on them. That is nice.

Let everyone who hears
the name Infeld-Daniels,

Franklin and Bash kneel
like superman before Zod.

Good job.

Well, I actually gave them my old
business card from Hartman-Frank.

But I put my new
phone number on it.

Quick thinker.

Do you have any more of them?

I mean, you know, just
in case. Just in case.

Well, I want new business cards

from the law firm of
Infeld-Daniels, Franklin and Bash.

Yeah.

Mark Johnson on two.

Mark, we have some
outstanding news for you.

You don't have to pay the fine

and the misdemeanor
charge was dropped.

Oh, thanks, you guys. Really.

- Yeah, you're welcome.
- You bet.

So where are we at with
our friend's restaurant?

Well, Three Olives can definitely
expand their capacity by two people.

Yes. Thank you, Mark.

But we found asbestos in the kitchen
ceiling that needs to be removed.

Okay.

Had to shut them down for repairs,

but they can re-open in three
weeks with increased capacity.

Mark. Whoa, whoa, mark. Three weeks?

- Sorry, guys.
- Sorry?

I'm just doing my job. Dude!

Thank you, Mark.

- Why are you thanking him?
- Hello?

We got no dinner for Karp,
no Dodgers tickets for Nate.

No roof over our heads.

Karp wanted the food at Three Olives.

He doesn't care about the stupid
napkins that they make into swans.

I thought they were sailboats.

So we bring the restaurant to Karp.

It's not about the restaurant.
It's about the food.

First things first.

They're sailboats, all right?

You have a new exhibit?

- Yes.
- We do.

Your Honor, we'd like to admit into
evidence a photo from 10 years ago...

Dr. Beckmann with his
French girlfriend.

Now, this photo proves that Dr.
Beckmann was unfaithful to his spouse.

He was cheating on his
wife with his wife,

which invalidates the prenup.

Cheating on his wife with his wife?

Oh, wait. I forgot.

I'm in the room with
Franklin and Bash.

Okay, first of all, I
want to thank you.

It is rare after 22 years
of presiding over divorces

that I get to hear something fresh.

And preposterous.

You're welcome.

Now, this photo shows that Dr.
Beckmann was trying to turn Chelsea

into his French
girlfriend of the past.

Now, Your Honor, you can see
that Dr. Beckmann's much younger

and he's with a woman who looks
nearly identical to our client.

Your Honor, it's a scanned photo

or a screen grab. Who knows?

Where's this mystery witness?

We don't know, Your Honor.

I see.

How do you plan on
authenticating the photo?

We are glad you asked.

If the court would be so kind
to give us a few more days,

we think we can prove
its "authecticity."

- Authen. Authen.
- Authecticity.

- Authenticity.
- One more time.

- Authenticity.
- Authenticity.

Or Dr. Beckmann could
just verify it.

I mean, it's so much faster.

- What?
- Yeah.

Th can't force my client
to help make their case.

I agree.

You'll have to prove
infidelity some other way.

This photo is inadmissible,
and if you try to get it in,

I will rule in Dr. Beckmann's
favor on the spot.

Am I clear?

Is that a dare?

You with the dares.

I'm just saying, it
sounds like a dare.

The last time we dared,
we ended up making out.

- I'm not g...
- Yeah. It was hot.

- What?
- Nothing.

Uh, Your Honor,
the, uh, extension.

Four days would
really give us a...

How about 24 hours?

Court will reconvene
at 2:30 tomorrow.

2:30.

Just once, can this job be easy?

Thank you.

Doctor, based on your extensive
experience in treating sex addiction,

can you explain to the panel

how an otherwise-stable
individual behaves

when engaged in sexually
addictive behavior?

There's a complete lapse of judgment

when the sex addict attempts to
alleviate their feelings of isolation.

And in your sexpert opinion,
is Mr. Infeld a sex addict?

Oh, one of the most
prolific I've ever seen.

He's agreed to let me
co-write a book about him.

Oh, I'm going to mention you
two boys in the acknowledgments.

Um, not now, Stanton, but thanks.

Besides a paid witness with an obvious
financial interest to Mr. Infeld,

do you have anyone who can testify

to the devious, reckless
sexual encounters they've had

with Stanton Infeld over the years?

We do not.

I see.

- We have 641.
- Sorry?

641 witnesses.

There are more, Your Honor,

but, um, my memory isn't
what it used to be.

I do apologize.

This board is not going to allow 641
people to share sordid details...

How about five? You choose.

Pick your favorites, Your Honor.

What was the most reckless place

you've ever had sex
with Stanton Infeld?

The backdoor...

Mm.

Of my grandmother's beach house.

And did you ever feel like
he was out of control?

You didn't go to Stanton
to be in control.

We once had sex on a shipwreck
200 feet below the surface.

That was supposed to be
our little secret, Lynette.

Yes. A real igloo.

Transatlantic flight.

Mile-high club was always
on my bucket list.

I owe him.

We're even now, Monte. Thank you.

We've heard enough.

This board is more than convinced

that your deviant behavior
clouded your judgment, Mr. Infeld.

I agree, Your Honor.
Wholeheartedly agree.

After you seek the
appropriate professional help,

we will reinstate you.

Thank you.

Yeah, we know.

We're the ones that got you shut down.

- What do you want us to say?
- Here we go.

- Hi.
- You're the lawyers?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

Remember, in the long run, we're
gonna make you a lot of money...

- Increased capacity.
- And, at least for a few weeks,

you got more time on the water.

- Joss told us that you surf.
- Right?

Ugh. What do you want?

Would you cook a private dinner
Friday night for two people?

- What?
- And we... we can't pay you.

You offer me no money after
you shut my place down?

Wait, wait. Have you
ever surfed Third Point?

Third Point... Best
surf spot in Malibu.

Yeah, I know it.

We'd like to give you our
beach house for the weekend.

Surf till you can't surf
anymore right on Third Point.

Well, my family's
coming in this weekend.

- Family? That's great.
- Love family.

Yeah, we got plenty of room.

Third Point.

For a private dinner Friday night.

All right. Let's do it.

- That's great.
- We'll be in touch.

- Okay?
- All right.

- We'll get you info. Thanks, man.
- All right.

Where should we stay this weekend?

I say we go camping.

You know, we get the
tents, the fishing rods,

the Coleman, just head up to Yosemite.

Dude, we don't own
any of those things,

And you couldn't open
up a sleeping bag.

That's true.

All right, Karp is a go for his
private dinner with Chef Sebastian.

His assistant asks,

"where should they drop
off the Dodger tickets?"

Yes. We did it.

We bought ourselves a few
more days, which means...

We can sleep at the firm this weekend.

There you go. It's a victory for us.

I wonder what victory tastes like.

Cold beer.

Except you have court tomorrow.

Oh, little Miss Buzzkill.

So I was thinking that maybe

we could find a picture
of Chelsea before surgery,

then through CGI, show how
dramatically he changed her.

That way, the prenup's
gonna come back into play.

W-w-w-we can't crack it

unless we use the picture
of the doctor's French ex.

But we are gonna crack
the doc on the stand,

'cause he trusts us not
to screw him over.

He might open up to us.

And we're gonna hope for a
little leeway from our judge.

So no CGI?

Not in the budget.

But we are gonna have
you make a Cosmo run.

You guys are gonna drink now?

Mm-hmm. First of all,
way ahead of you.

Second of all, he means
Cosmo the magazine.

Also, get some Marie
Claire and Instyle, please.

Glamour?

Uh, we got plenty of Glamour.

It was a raffle.

All right.

Hey, is this gonna be
like the rabbit thing?

Better.

Except this has very
little chance of working.

All right.

Dr. Beckmann, I'd like to ask you

to lend your considerable
aesthetic experience

to help us understand beauty.

Now, in this box, there are
16 interchangeable features...

Nose, eyes, mouth, hair.

They'll enable us to see
a rendition of beauty

from your professional opinion.

Your Honor, I don't
know where to start

other than to ask Mr.
Bash for a play date.

Mr. Bash, you have 60
seconds to tell us

what this has to do with
the breach of a prenup.

You got it, Your Honor.

Dr. Beckmann, using this blank canvas,

give us your professional
opinion of what is beautiful...

Somewhat similar to how you
might show a prospective patient.

Uh, if I may?

You may.

Well, e-e-every culture
has their own definition,

but I guess... I would try...

I'm just eyeballing distances here.

Beauty is symmetry, perfect alignment.

I mean, if I had my tools...

We have Franklin and Bash.

- Dr. Beckmann.
- Time's up.

Whoa. I'm sorry.

Did someone win a judicial
appointment in the last 45 seconds?

Not that I'm aware of.
Stand down, counselor.

I got to say, you do great work.

Where do you practice?
Wait. Don't answer that.

Oh, my God.

Objection.

Your Honor, you told Franklin and Bash

not to bring that photo of his
French ex-girlfriend into court.

We didn't. Dr. Beckmann did.

It's Melanie.

The odds of him picking the 5
correct main features out of 16,

Your Honor, is like...

It's like 80-1.

You took 16 and put
it together 5 times.

Right. It's not 80?

No, it is 80.

The odds are 1,048,000-1.

Thank you.

Yeah, what she said. She's with us.

Dr. Beckmann's creation stays

and the previously excluded photograph is
now admissible for comparison purposes.

I don't think that's gonna
be necessary, Your Honor.

Dr. Beckmann, does your patient,

uh, remind you of anyone you know?

Chelsea, honey, I had no idea.

I'm sorry.

Your Honor, can we
take a short recess?

I think that's a good idea.
We're in recess.

What's going on?

- Prenup just went away.
- We won.

Oh, my. Thank you.

I'll take one of those.

Okay, Nick's watching.

Nick's watching. Nick's watching.

You want it?

- Hell yeah.
- No.

Or you could hang it back in
your office... stick around.

For a few months with a
six-month option to stay.

That should cover
my last month's rent.

Well, it doesn't.

Oh, well. Sue me. I'm moving to Paris.

Gonna be the areola king of Europe.

Maybe knock out a few cleft palates
on the weekends for operation smile.

Oh, that's nice. Take care.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Dude, where should we hang this?

And we gave Sebastian our
house for the weekend.

Oh, uh, boys! Over here. Over here.

Hey. Guys.

Hi.

So, I heard that you were making
out with each other at Three Olives.

Okay, we weren't making out.

That's fantastic, and, by
the way, hardly surprising.

So you can drop the pretense
of separate bedrooms now,

because your bunk bed awaits.

Oh. Great.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Did you, uh... Did you bring people
back from your sex-addicts group?

Oh. Yes. Ben and Evelyn.

Oh, uh, sorry. No last names.

Oh, and there is Thor.

However, he seems to have disappeared.

Sebastian, two more for dinner.

How long before the sumptuous buffet?

Stanton, the tortellini
is stuffed by hand,

and I only got two of them.

Hey, "stuffed by hand."

Listen, good news.

I found the most beautiful house.

Great news.

Ah, unfortunately, I can't
move in till the 18th.

So one more glorious month together.

I'm on top tonight.

No, you were on top last night.

I'm on top tonight.