Franklin & Bash (2011–2014): Season 3, Episode 5 - By the Numbers - full transcript

An insurance actuary is so good at predicting his client's deaths he is accused of causing them. A woman is at odds with her neighbors over the honey bee operation in her backyard.

Admit it,

you wanted Noelle Gardner to die.

I wouldn't say that.

You tracked down a dying young woman,

bought her insurance policy,
paying her pennies for it.

It was $100,000.

So you could be the beneficiary

and collect $250,000

when she died six months later.

Admit it. You killed Noelle Gardner.

- I can't admit that.
- Why not?



Because she's sitting right
there next to your partner.

And that's why you're suing her...

because she lived.

Because she lied.

Because she lived, thanks
to a miracle Amazon cure.

Noelle knew about that cure
before her trip to Amazonia

and before I bought her policy.

It wasn't a miracle. It was fraud.

And I don't believe in miracles.

He doesn't believe in miracles.

Well, I hope you'll
excuse me, Mr. Singletary,

if I still do.

I'm an actuary.

I believe in facts and numbers.



Numbers never lie.

No, because the fact is,

no matter how many lawsuits you bring,

you'll be on the hook
to pay Noelle's premiums

for what we can only hope
is a long and happy life.

- Objection, Your Honor!
- Sustained.

- We got him on the ropes.
- Hope he has a good cut man.

Well, the judge should stop it

before someone gets brain damage.

Hey!

Can I pack my bags for mount Whitney?

My sister wants to blow all Wendell's money

scaling the seven summits.

What good's his money

if it can't fund my new lease on life?

Well, we had one good day,
but it's... it's far from over.

I'm gonna take that as a "yes."

Okay, come on, Rayann.

- It wasn't a "yes."
- Noelle, it's... hmm.

- It was like a "no."
- Yeah, it was.

You were wrong about me.

It's nothing personal, Mr. Singletary.

It's our job.

My lawyer will be calling you.

I've instructed him to
settle, in spite of the facts.

- Okay.
- Well, why settle?

You're a gambling man. Roll the dice.

I don't gamble. I predict.

I gauged the jury's reaction,
combining your shallow,

- albeit theatrical, performance...
- Thanks.

With a statistical analysis
of the jury's gender, race...

- Hi.
- Hello.

And social-demographics evaluation.

I'll have my lawyer draw up

the settlement papers immediately.

But you are wrong about me...

- and Noelle.
- Yep.

Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Looks like we got the rest of the day off.

- Surf Topanga?
- Go-karts?

Let's do both.

- Actuary hypothetical.
- Hit me.

You get to have sex

with one Victoria's secret angel every year

for the rest of your life.

I don't see the actuarial part,

but I'm with you and I'm digging it so far.

You have to kill me.

The angels are a death benefit.

- It was good knowing you, buddy.
- Ho ho.

- Hey-hey.
- Hey.

It's a thank-you gift.

Noelle sent it before she
went to climb Mount Whitney.

Wow.

Hey, is it just me or does anybody else

feel kind of bad for Wendell?

Creepy numbers guy? That's just you.

What is up with that? I saw you
sneaking looks with him during the trial.

- Something you want to say?
- Yeah. You're insane.

Uh-huh.

- It's a weird gift, right?
- Yeah.

I thought she swore off all processed foods

after her cure.

It's called irony, my dear.

It's called delicious...
these are discontinued,

and she spent a fortune on them.

Check it out.

- Wow!
- Yep.

Well, thank you, Noelle.

- Yeah.
- Cheers.

Cheers. Tink!

Oh, see, that... that is dedication.

8:30 on the dot every morning.

Did you call her yet?

Don't want to seem too eager.

Dude, you're gonna lose her if
you don't take your thumb out.

- I know what I'm doing.
- Really?

Uh-huh.

- All right, fine, be that way.
- Uh-huh.

Whatever.

These have beef fat in
them. I can't eat this.

I'll give you $8 to eat every one.

$9!

Good morning.

At the risk of sounding
completely ridiculous, Twinkie?

Breakfast of champions.

You should indulge a little bit.

Once in a while is not gonna kill you.

I'm not really into junk food.

I was talking about me.

We should have some fun. We should go out.

Come on, you and me.

I'm not really into anything
potentially addictive.

Too much of a good
thing can be bad for you.

One dinner.

We could... we could call it

a neighborhood watch meeting or something.

Anything.

Okay. Friday.

Okay. Great.

- A date.
- A dinner.

I'll get a sitter.

Oh, we can help you. Pindy loves pets.

I have a daughter, Peter.

Her name is Tess. She's 9 years old.

I have her this weekend.

Oh. Oh, for... for real?

Yeah.

You a little weirded out?

No, no. I'm not...

I'm not weirded out at all.

It's just the name "Tess."

Does she know you call her that?

Really?

No, I... I love kids.

We could bring her along. Yeah.

Now you're overcompensating, but it's fine.

I'll get a sitter, okay?

Okay.

- See you Friday.
- All right.

Okay. Can't wait.

Sure?

Relax... a lot of women
dating these days have kids.

I can't take care of a kid.

I can barely take care of myself.

Okay, seriously,

one date's not gonna make
you the kid's new dad.

Single moms are protective,
but it could be months

before she trusts you enough
to meet the kid, anyway.

At dinner, if the conversation is all...

- What's the kid's name?
- Tess.

The conversation's all Tess all the time,

then you know she doesn't
have enough time for you,

but if there's a balance, you're all good.

I'm saying... I should
have fortune cookies.

Hello?

Wow. Um...

Okay. Yeah, thank you.

Noelle Gardner's dead.

Noelle? What happened?

She fall off Mount Whitney?

She never even made it.

She was murdered.

How was Noelle killed?

By banana.

Banana?

She developed an intense allergy...

by-product of her cure.

Banana was deliberately laced into her food

and sent over by the
regular delivery service.

My God.

And you two are going to represent

the man charged with doing it.

- Wait. What?
- I'm not gonna represent her killer.

Alleged killer. Come.

Everyone has the right to a defense.

I myself was accused of murder.

We know. We defended you.

Three times, twice falsely.

Look, I met with him.

I'm convinced that he didn't do it.

Get Karp! Why us?

Because the client asked for you.

He believes that you and you alone...

understand how he ticks.

Boys...

meet your new client.

What do you know about honeybees?

What don't I know about honeybees?

A beekeeper in Venice

is being sued by the
city for public nuisance.

A couple of bees flew into
some kid's birthday party.

Kids.

They are trying to shut the beekeeper down.

I'd like you to handle the case

in front of the community association.

Problem?

No, it just... it seems a little lighter

than our usual fare.

Then I'm sure you can dispense
with it in an afternoon.

Awesome.

So, they're charging you with manslaughter.

Coroner's report says Noelle was poisoned

by banana extract injected into the food

that she had delivered
to her building's lobby

every day between 3:00 and 4:00 A.M.

And since her, uh, allergy
came on after the cure,

only three people knew about
it besides Noelle's family...

her insurance agent, her allergist, and...

And you.

Where were you between 3:00 and 4:00 A.M.

The day the food was delivered?

I was sleeping...

alone, so no alibi.

But I... I do have a motive.

After Noelle's death,
her benefits inure to me.

And up until she found her Amazon cure,

- we were lovers.
- Wait. What, now?

I suspect that she instigated it

to encourage me to buy her policy.

And she dumped me, so you can add that

to my list of motives for killing her.

- Sure. We'll do that. Yep.
- Okay.

- We're done.
- Yeah.

We don't validate.

Wendell, how did it go?

Not well.

This is my assistant, Jill. I don't drive.

You're not gonna represent him?

It's okay.

No, I have worked with
Wendell for six years.

He helps people.

By short-buying their lives?

By allowing terminally ill patients

a chance to live out their dreams

and have a full life before they die.

Explain what you do with the money.

No, it's not worth it. They don't care.

Actually, go ahead. Tell us.

He donates 30% to the foundation

of the illness they die of.

30%. Oh. What about the 70%?

42.5% support my elderly mother and aunt,

and the other 27.5% I'm saving...

to retire in Italy, my spiritual home.

Look, I understand that
my job doesn't make me

the most sympathetic person,

but I did not kill Noelle.

Give us a moment.

What are you thinking here?

Do we have a choice?

- Well, Stanton believes him.
- Yeah.

You know, if we take the case,

the judge isn't gonna let us use

any of the evidence
from Noelle's civil case.

It's gonna be a firewall.

Okay. All right, we'll, uh, take your case.

Wow. Great.

Coming here, I put the odds
of you taking this at 8-to-1,

factoring in your antipathy towards me,

and also what I perceive to be

- your willingness to take on a challenge.
- Yeah, yeah.

Wendell, Wendell, Wendell, please.

Yeah, don't make us change our mind, okay?

Uh, and that moves the bike-plan hearing

from 6:00 to 7:00 P.M. on Thursday

to accommodate the vegan
raw foods class clean-up.

It's a straightforward case, Summer.

You're gonna be back
at your hives by lunch.

My hives are my living.

I sell the honey, and I help
other people start their farms.

I... i... if I can't keep that
going... we're gonna be fine.

Uh, with a big thanks to Willow

for her enlightened meditation
demo on disaster prep.

And, uh, that leaves us with, uh...

Uh, Damien Karp, representing
Summer Wallace, Mr. Bixby.

Uh, Summer retained counsel, huh?

Every bee deserves its day, right?

Uh, I'm here for the city, Bix.

Hey, there. Lyle.

So, mister...

Bix,

this is just a simple misunderstanding.

Now, bees disrupted the birthday
party of summer's neighbor,

but venice is full of bees.

How can we be sure the
bees were Ms. Wallace's?

Can Mr. Karp prove they
weren't Ms. Wallace's bees?

Actually, the burden of proof's on you.

Well, what about footage from
Achilles' birthday party...

- Achilles?
- ... Showing Ms. Wallace's bees going over her fence

into her neighbor's yard?

- Would that help?
- Helps me.

I move we schedule an official hearing.

All in favor?

Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye!

I'll see you at the next meeting.

We're out!

Namaste.

Awesome.

Rachel. Hey.

Yeah, we had, um... we
had a little setback,

but we're gonna get them at the hearing.

This is going to a hearing?

I gave you a simple task,
like taking out the garbage.

Okay, that's an overreaction.

No, course correction. You're getting help.

You're getting Franklin and Bash.

Hey. Good news.

You know that $250,000 in benefits?

Turns out there was a
rider on Noelle's policy

that wasn't mentioned in discovery.

Where is, uh, Wendell?

Kind of thought he would be here.

We switched it to later. Why?

Yeah, you could have
texted us this information.

You didn't have to come all the way down.

Yeah, I kind of wish I had now.

So, the rider?

Makes Wendell sole beneficiary,

unless, of course, he is convicted

of causing Noelle's death.

Interesting.

Who's next in line?

It's intestate... family succession.

Rayann.

That's good work, Carm.

And we'll call you next
time Wendell's here.

And you can explain the weird
attraction women have to him.

You wouldn't understand.

- That's true.
- I understand weird attraction.

- I love that movie.
- It's a great movie.

What do you want to do with your office?

Use it as a steel-cage octagon?

Eh, it's too small. How
about a recording studio?

You know what would be really cool?

I have a job for you.

- Clever.
- Right?

We already have a job... a murder job.

Now you have another job... bee case.

Ooh, I'd like to take

the case of the bees with
Damien, if that's all right.

You have more important
work to do. Let them take it.

Is the death of honey not important?

Last winter, on my trip,

I was moved by the
Egyptian tombs of Pabasa,

from the 26th dynasty,

depicting the ancient art of apiculture.

"Apiculture"?

I didn't know they had monkeys in Egypt.

Dude, "Raiders of the lost ark,"

the monkey ate the poison date.

Oh. Right.

Bees, gentlemen.

- It was a monkey.
- No.

Bees... I myself will join the fight

for these marvelous insects,

saving them so that they may,

in turn, save us.

That desk goes back into Peter's office

after your playdate.

You know, when she talks like
that and looks like that...

Blood flow changes.

Yeah.

We're gonna make a left turn here.

Don't go to your right. That's water.

- Okay.
- Almost there.

Seriously, can I please open my eyes?

No, you got to keep them
closed the entire date.

- It's a blind date.
- Really?

Yeah.

- We're almost there.
- Okay.

You got it.

- Ready?
- Okay.

Open your eyes.

Oh, wow.

You don't mess around on first dates.

Uh, j... just dinner.

Really? I also rented
some doves to circle us,

but they got loose in my car, and...

Yeah, they're probably
over Koreatown by now.

- I think we'll manage.
- Yeah.

- After you.
- Thanks.

Jared and I give our clients
the best defense we can,

even if it means bending a few rules.

Yeah, I'm with you... when
it comes to my patients,

I don't let the insurance get in the way.

Well, here's to breaking the rules.

We are so bad-ass.

You're not like other lawyers, Peter.

And you're...

the first kinesiologist I've ever met,

so I have nothing to compare it to.

Oh, that's raw.

Yeah.

That's not lit.

Oh, boy.

Well, I guess the wind blew it out.

This is gonna take a while.

Counselor Bash up against a jury of one.

All right, what else have you got?

Well, for starters,
you need to finish this.

Okay.

Okay, let me see what we have here.

We have chocolate... to melt.

Cheese... to melt.

Strawberries, bread,

balsamic muddled

strawberry bruschetta.

Eh, this is an epic fail.

I wouldn't call it an epic fail.

I'll give you a do-over, anyway.

Okay.

I owe you dinner... or dessert,

whatever that wasn't.

Okay.

So, good?

Yeah, I'd say it was a perfect date.

Like top-10, all-time perfect?

Top five.

You know, we just talked
a lot, about everything.

No mention about the kid.

You'll know Charlie likes
you in a different way

- when you meet the kid.
- What do you mean?

Like a pre-interview for a stepdad?

No, stupid... I'm just saying you'll know

- she takes you seriously.
- I'm just saying...

I don't want anything serious, stupid.

All I know is that I'd be
having some serious sex right now

if you hadn't forgotten to
put the lighter back in the bag

after we shot off those
bottle rockets into the ocean.

Let me get this straight...

you're saying it was a done deal
if it wasn't for the lighter.

Yeah, I'm saying it was...
I would have been done...

- You would have closed if it wasn't for the lighter?
- I would have been...

I'm sticking with the lighter.

- So it was just the lighter.
- I'm sticking with the lighter.

Breaking news.

Proof that Noelle knew about her cure

before she sold her policy to Wendell.

Turns out that trip that she reported

to her insurance company
was her second trip.

She never mentioned the first one.

Wait, so Wendell was right?

Noelle did defraud him?

- Which makes us, who are her lawyers...
- Equally duped.

- There's more.
- Oh, good.

You know her sister, Rayann?

Yeah, the one that's not
returning our phone calls?

Well, a neighbor did...
she said she saw Rayann

entering Noelle's building at 3:30 A.M.

The morning she died.

Rayann lives in Santa Monica.

What was she doing all the way across town

the morning Noelle died?

You don't know anything
about how a dog park works.

You're supposed to put the
dog down, let her run around.

It's a loaner.

I don't want her to get eaten
by one of these big dogs.

No, I don't.

All right, you're... you're...
you're embarrassing me. Stop it.

- You're embarrassing. You don't have a dog.
- Stop it.

Hey, hey, hey. There she is. There she is.

Rayann!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Well, well.

The dirtbags that represented my sister

are now representing her murderer.

We prefer Peter and Jared.

I have nothing to say to you.

You are money-hungry bloodsuckers.

First, nice dog.

But like you, we just want
to know who killed Noelle.

Oh, well, here's a clue...

you're sitting next to him in court.

See, someone else was in her
building the night she died,

someone who knew about her allergy

and when her food was delivered.

What are you talking about?

We have a witness who
puts you there at 3:30 A.M.

You think I killed her? I am
the one who took care of her,

quit my job when she was diagnosed.

And traveled with her
to the Amazon both times.

Did you suggest that Noelle defraud Wendell

by selling her insurance policy,

even though she was cured?

I did... that was Noelle's id...

I don't have to talk to you.

Okay, well, you could do
it here or on the stand.

That is a stupid-looking dog.

You shouldn't have insulted her.

- Good Lulu.
- That's a good Lulu.

Dogs can sense evil.

I think that's earthquakes, buddy.

It doesn't take a dog to
see that is an angry woman.

Angry enough to kill her sister?

Did you know that the medieval French

believed that the first
beesting of the year

meant that a stranger was en route?

And here we are.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this,

but Rachel told me that Bash
and Franklin were coming on.

No, no, no. I overruled that.

- They're far too busy.
- Oh, really?

So, okay, because of your African epiphany,

now we're knocking on Venice doors,

and they get to handle murder trials?

Damien, listen, I wanted on this.

I feel that you and I

have not been on the best of terms

since I brought on Rachel.

I mean, you're my nephew.

Family comes first.

Goody! You're here!

- Come on in.
- Thank you.

The city says you're running
a commercial operation

out of a residence by selling your honey.

My neighbor sells tomatoes
that he grows in his garden.

Why isn't anyone coming after him?

Because tomatoes don't attack people?

Bees pollinate 30% of the world's crops.

Nearly a third of the honeybees
in the U.S. have vanished

due to the colony collapse disorder.

Absolutely. And not to mention,
of course, that honey...

a very powerful aphrodisiac.

Did you know that, Damien?

- I do now. Thank you.
- Good.

Each hive has its own personality.

These little guys recognize me and I them.

And the time we spend together

means as much to me as if...

Oh.

Sorry.

I didn't really have much of a choice.

It came at me like a kamikaze.

She was introducing herself to you.

Well, I was just introducing
myself right back.

I just said, "hey, bee, meet death.

Death, meet bee."

She had a name.

She had a name?

Yeah.

Summer, I do believe I've figured out

how to win your case.

Defense calls Rayann Gardner
to the stand, Your Honor.

Dickheads.

That's just hurtful, Rayann.

She shouldn't have called you that.

Me? She said, "dickheads," plural.

Witness testimony puts you
at Noelle's apartment building

the morning of her death,

but you weren't there to
see your sister, were you?

No.

Who were you there to see?

Michael Shepperd.

Michael Shepperd, your sister's boyfriend,

hours before she died?

Yes.

Objection. Relevance.

All this proves is that Ms. Gardner

had a legitimate reason

to be in the building other legitimate?

Sleeping with your sister's boyfriend

while your sister is one floor below?

Objection overruled. Spare
us the outrage, Mr. Bash.

Mr. Nelson may be right.

It may provide a
legitimate reason for Rayann

to be in her sister's building

or motive for her to kill...

one of the oldest motives in the world...

love.

So you're a liar or a murderer.

Either way, Rayann,

why should this jury
believe anything you say?

Our trial is looking up.

Rayann looked bad today. Have a beer.

Alcohol affects sleep patterns.

Men who sleep less than six hours a night

are likely to die four
to seven years sooner

than their tee-totaling
counterparts, so, no, thank you.

We got to invite him to
every one of our parties.

Absolutely.

Is there anything else that I can get you?

You know, I would love a snapple.

I noticed you drinking one
the last time I was here.

Coming right up.

Okay, what is the deal?

What... is it hypnosis?

Is it pheromones? What?

What are you talking about?

We've seen the way that women look at you,

including Carmen.

And let's face it... she lives with this.

- This.
- This.

And this.

- This.
- Eh...

- That.
- Mm...

I don't... I don't know, guys.

I'm... I'm just myself.

- He's good.
- Oh, come on.

No one's themselves.

Hey, Nelson's here.

- White flag?
- Yeah. Let's go check.

If you dismiss now,

we won't sue you for malicious prosecution.

Well, gentlemen, six hours ago,

I might have agreed with
you, until I got this.

What is that?

Life settlements
orchestrated by your client

at his previous job.

So? It's what he does.
He did dozens of them.

I'm focusing on two of them for now.

He bought a policy from a triathlete,

peak of health, who died one month later...

hit and run, never solved.

And an 85-year-old woman who died

one hour after Wendell
visited her in the hospital.

These two untimely deaths

netted Wendell $285,000.

This will never come into evidence.

You can't introduce alleged prior bad acts.

- You're suggesting Wendell is...
- Is a serial killer

who uses life settlements
as a pool for his victims.

Modus operandi. Continuous
course of conduct.

My guess is it will be
admitted for the jury to hear.

And an affidavit from Noelle's boyfriend.

It says that he met Rayann

at the front of their
building at 3:30 A.M.,

where there was no food-delivery bag

and that he stayed with Rayann
until late the next morning.

That's it?

Mm...

One more little thing.

Manslaughter?

First-degree murder.

I'll see you fellas in court.

Either Wendell is the best
actuary in the world...

Or he is a pathological serial killer.

I was gonna say that.

You lied to us, Wendell.

Who are these people
you wrote policies for?

The triathlete was from Portland

but moved to the third-most-polluted county

in the U.S. with no bike lanes.

I knew the odds of him getting hit by a car

or contracting an airborne disease

could shorten his life by 42.556%.

And he was hit by a car, so I was right.

And the woman?

She was a lonely widow
who regularly called 911

so she could be in a
hospital with other people.

Widows die younger than
their married counterparts,

and over 195,000 Americans die annually

from hospital negligence.

Wendell simply saw them
as a sound investment.

Can't you explain that to the jury?

Actually, Wendell...

we're thinking you should consider a deal.

We may be able to get it knocked down

to involuntary manslaughter...

3 to 5.

3 to 5?

Years?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

But I didn't kill her...

and I can't take a plea.

How about this?

You are a ghoul,

a freak who can predict
the time and circumstance

of anyone's death with
frightening accuracy,

which doesn't make you a killer.

It makes you the best
damn actuary in the world,

and those deaths... those are the proof.

Those skills don't make you homicidal.

They're what make you so good at your job.

Could it work?

Look, we've come to these
hearings in good faith,

but last night, someone destroyed

Ms. Wallace's home apiaries.

Now, she's gonna need protection
until this case is decided.

It's true... a few teenagers
who had too much to drink

came upon Ms. Wallace's hives.

The bees attacked, landing
two of the teenagers

- in the hospital.
- W... wait they came upon?

They were trespassing.

You can't kick a dog in his own backyard

and not expect to get bitten.

You can't compare bees to a pet dog.

Actually, you can.

There's a study out of
the University of Michigan

which found that pets make
our lives more fulfilled

and improve mental health,

so given that criteria,

I believe that summer's bees are pets.

Lyle?

He's right. Those bees are pets.

- Great.
- Well, then, if we all agree...

Dangerous pets... now, if
I trespass on your property

and you have a tiger,
that's still a violation

- of the exotic animals act.
- Come on!

Bees can hardly be compared to tigers.

Well, tell that to the
two high-school sophomores

- who had to spend the night in the hospital.
- Okay!

Getting a little contentious up in here.

Let's call it a day,

and we'll hear closing arguments tomorrow.

Hey, heads up... just so you guys know,

if you lose, the teens'
families are bringing civil suit

for their medical bills,
pain and suffering,

and criminal charges.

Sorry, guys.

Oh, my God.

W... wait, Summer.

Well, look, Rachel's gonna be very upset

when you tell her.

- Me?
- Well, yeah.

I mean, you are the first chair.

I'm only here to support
and to heal our relationship.

Great job on that so far.

You know the government
can hack into your computer,

activate your webcam, and watch you?

Thinking of doing that with Charlie's?

'Cause... it seems a little crazy.

First of all, no. Second
of all, great idea.

Third, crazy is another name for passion.

It's how I landed Janie.

I forgot you intentionally
rear-ended her with your car.

Charlie's nothing like Janie, though,

so take it easy with her.

Oh, the things we do for love.

Well, we didn't talk about
this Noelle/wendell thing.

What if someone's jealous
of their relationship?

Well, it wasn't Noelle's boyfriend.

He was banging the sister.

What if it's not about Noelle?

Wendell oddly attracts
women you're saying someone

could have been jealous of him?

The insurance papers came
from his previous job.

There's only one person
who's been with him all along.

His assistant, Jill.

Except she's been helpful,
volunteering information.

What better way to stay close to the case?

What if Jill loves Wendell enough

to do something crazy?

Yeah, she would have hated

seeing that relationship
unfold with Noelle.

- She would have known about the banana allergy.
- Yeah.

So we put the high beams on Jill.

In my office.

We're now.

Everything all right?

I need you to win the bee case. Excuse us?

It seems to be baffling
those above your pay grade.

Well, everything baffles Karp.

Why can't you do it?

I can't be directly involved.

Because...?

We work better when we're not in the dark.

At the office.

Fine.

I have a goddaughter, Gloria...

a smart, dedicated kid whose
mom is barely scraping by.

She'd excel at Beechem,

but her mom refuses to take money from me.

She's just too proud.

- We're not as proud.
- No.

And Summer, the beekeeper,

sits on the admissions committee.

Hang on... you've been busting our balls

for doing too many pro bono cases.

Now you want us to help
out with the honeybees

so your friend's kid can
get into some private school?

Yes.

- Okay.
- When can we start pulling stuff like that?

Raise your billables 500%

and argue a case in front
of the supreme court,

and we'll discuss it.

Why us?

The Venice community association

is a different kind of cat.

You'd fit right in.

Sounds like an insult.

Nah. We can't do it. Can't do it tomorrow.

We have that murder trial.

Can you teach Stanton and
Damien the Franklin and Bash?

Can you teach a one-armed man to drum?

Def Leppard.

I said one arm.

No. Wait, wait, wait.

Karp and bees.

- Killer bees?
- No.

Damn. Ah, damn.

I'm told Summer's honeybees are harmless.

They don't attack you
if you don't attack them.

They're harmless unless provoked.

And that's what you would
need to prove to win.

If we do it, take down that wall?

If you do it, you can have another case.

That's why they call it a job.

A job.

They do need our help.

Not "they," just Infeld.

Right. Just Infeld.

- Def Leppard.
- One-armed drummer, yes.

How was he charged with assault?

He's got a strong one arm.

- Hey. Check it.
- Hey.

What is it?

E-mail exchange between Jill and Noelle

from a year ago, right after her cure.

Read it and weep.

"I wanted to tell you a quick e-mail.

I wanted to tell you
about feast food service,

especially with you on a new health kick.

They deal with food allergies
and deliver to your door

between 3:00 A.M. and 4:00 A.M."

Smoking banana.

Jill knew about the food allergy

and the time of the food delivery.

She's the only other
person other than Wendell

who knew about those dead-life
settlements that the D.A. had.

Only one problem.

- The firewall.
- Yep.

The judge is never gonna
let us bring anything

from Wendell's civil case against Noelle.

It's prejudicial. Nelson will nail it.

We can't bring it in, but that
doesn't mean the prosecution can't.

We get them to knock down the firewall.

Easier than knocking down this wall.

Hey.

Huh? Tag, you're it.

Aah!

Thanks for bringing over dessert.

I didn't.

Yes, you did.

I'm about to have it now.

This is nice.

We're having a barbecue on Saturday.

It would be cool if you could stop by.

Yeah, I'd love to.

And Tess' dad isn't picking
her up till next weekend.

You want me to meet your daughter?

Is that a problem?

No, of course not.

Peter, I want her to meet you and Pindar

and Jared and Carmen for emergency reasons,

just the same way she
met our other neighbors

when they moved in.

Right, right. That's smart parenting.

Okay, Dr. Foster, you've testified

that Noelle's cure was 100%.

Yeah, it was.

And you sent this new diagnosis
to her life-insurance company

on September 1st of this year?

Yep, I sent the good news directly

to Mr. Singletary's office.

In your experience, how do patients

celebrate good news like that?

Well, some cash out their
savings and go on trips.

A few get married and have babies.

A handful start treating their bodies worse

than when they were diagnosed.

Which category did Noelle fit into?

Objection. Relevance. Overruled.

She gained several pounds
and exhibited some...

reckless behavior.

In fact, Noelle bought
several cases of junk food

as recently as a week
before her death, didn't she?

Objection. Relevance again.

A copy of a receipt of multiple cases

of Ho Ho, Ding-Dongs,
and Twinkies, Your Honor.

Proceed.

Doctor, Twinkies were
made in the same factory

as banana-cream-filled zingers.

Now, couldn't traces of zinger juice

- possibly...
- Objection.

Ms. Gardner had food delivered
to her daily from Feast,

a company that provides
locally sourced organic food.

She was very vigilant in her diet.

Well, Your Honor, since opposing counsel

has introduced the idea of
Ms. Gardner's healthy diet,

information used in
the prior civil trial...

- Wait, wait. No, no, no.
- They opened the door.

We request the right to
make use of that information.

Granted. Consider the door open.

The court will recess until 2:00 P.M.

Uh, Damien, um, listen, before we go in,

I'd just like to say that
working with you on this case

reminds me of why I hired
you in the first place,

and it's not because your
mother tried to blackmail me

over that ridiculous incident

with the hitchhiker in Amsterdam.

No, listen I hired you because
you're a damn fine lawyer.

Thank you.

And by hiring Rachel, I
suppose that, subconsciously,

I believed that you'd be
better suited somewhere else,

you know, like a... a judge

or a legal counsel to
a Fortune 500 company.

I'm sorry. What... what are you saying?

What I'm saying is, for you
to get to the next level,

you have to take risks.

You have to take chances.

No. Not taking risks
has gotten me where I am.

You don't have a choice. I mean, Rachel...

she really wants this,

and you know how I hate to lose.

So I just have one question for you...

do you have any allergies?

Most of you know bees as social insects.

I mean, they gather to do their work.

They protect their queen as a group.

Now, what most of you don't know about them

is that they're gentle,
defensive creatures.

They'll only attack if provoked.

And they're harmless,

unless, of course, you harm them.

Well, as you can see for yourself...

right, Damien?

You've been Wendell Singletary's
assistant for how long?

6 years, 2 months, 13 days.

How many hours?

10,496, if you're counting weekends,

8,000 if you're counting weekdays

with no personal, sick, or vacation days.

You really are Wendell's prot?g?e.

Well, Wendell's an excellent boss.

And you worked with Wendell when he handled

the life settlements for the triathlete

and the 85-year-old back at health assure.

Wendell and I work very closely together.

I wonder... do you know how the prosecution

- got ahold of those cases?
- No.

Was there anyone who
worked with you and Wendell

at health assure who came
over to life-systems with you?

No.

- Just you.
- Yes.

And you worked on Noelle's
life settlement, too, right?

And you and Noelle e-mailed.

Well, I e-mail most of Wendell's clients.

I'm interested in one specific exchange

where you introduced Noelle
to feast delivery service.

So you knew the delivery-service times,

and you also knew about Noelle's allergy.

Given your actuarial skills,

I'm wondering if you can help me analyze

some research I've gathered.

Uh, between women and men,

women take their time to plan a murder,

while men are more... impulsive.

Now, men tend to kill
people that they don't know,

while women tend to kill people

that they have some personal connection to.

Is that right?

That's correct.

And, typically, poison is a woman's weapon.

And women, more than
men, kill most for love.

Did you know that?

If... if you say so.

Jill, are you in love with Wendell?

No.

Not for the last 10,496 hours,

counting weekends,

or 8,000, counting only workdays,

no vacation, personal, or sick days?

You're under oath.

I'm not in love with Wendell, so...

He didn't notice you at all, did he?

Given your professional expertise,

what are the odds that Wendell, a man,

planned a murder by poison

of a woman he admitted to having
an intimate relationship with?

750 to 1.

Using those exact same facts,

what are the odds that the real murderer...

is you?

No more questions.

The community association
is gonna take a look

at all ordinances making
beekeeping illegal,

so summer gets to keep her hives.

And Gloria has an interview
with Beechem Prep...

... Thanks to you.

It was our pleasure.

Uh, Damien, it's all right.

They're gone.

Damien, y... listen,

- you and I...
- Yeah.

- We're good, right?
- Stop. Yes.

- We're good?
- I hear buzzing.

Did you hear buzzing?

Ah! How's the murder trial going?

Uh, about to find out.

It's official... D.A. is
dropping all the charges.

Jill is in custody for Noelle's murder.

Wow. Thank you so much.

What are you gonna do with the $250,000?

'Cause that's yours now.

I think I'm gonna quit
my job and move to Italy.

Maybe we could hit a bar nearby.

Celebratory glass of prosecco on me.

I thought you said alcohol
shortened your life.

Well, some studies show
that, in moderation,

it actually has health benefits.

More importantly, what good is life

if you're always calculating
the worst possible outcome?

I know a place right around the corner.

Join us. Please say no.

You kids go on.

We're good.

- I could go for a cigar right about now.
- Yeah?

Maybe Infeld has one of those Hondurans.

Not feeling it.

Huh. Yeah.

Well, there's a box of
Twinkies with our names on it.

That'll work.

All right! Oh, there we go.

Rachel took the wall down. Dude!

This... look at this!

It's so hard to get a read on her.

Right? Friend or foe?

- It's like a jedi mind bone.
- Yep.

- Still...
- I know, but this is how we get our best work done.

That's right.

Hey.

Oh. What? What?

What? What you got?

Where'd you get the...