Franklin & Bash (2011–2014): Season 3, Episode 10 - Gone in a Flash - full transcript

Jaws.

Jaws?

- Yeah.
- No... he's not a sea monster.

Jaws was technically a shark.

- Jaws was a killing machine.
- Yeah.

- Swamp thing.
- Swamp thing?

It's not a sea. That's
technically the swamp.

Sea monster's got to come
out of a large body of water.

All right, the sea
monster in "Cloverfield."

Nope. Sea monster's name's
got to be in the title.

The monster wasn't called "Cloverfield."



- No, dude, you do this every time.
- What?

- You make up the rules as you go along.
- I'm not making up the rules.

- You're just not adhering to the rules.
- You know what?

"Anaconda," as in "bite me."

All right, why are we doing...
I hate running. This is stupid.

Pick it up, guys.

That's why we're doing this.

- I'm going home.
- Sure you can make it?

- No.
- It's about 50 yards.

Shut up.

Morning.

Good morning.

So, I... want to clear the air.

Clear the air?



Yeah, that counterstrike
that you lobbed over.

- Counterstrike?
- Yeah.

You trying to make me jealous
by being at Rob Lowe's house.

Oh, that.

Oh, yes, I was trying to
make you jealous. Yeah.

No, I went over to
Rob's hoping... hoping...

that you would launch a drone

and then fly over his house and spy on me.

I wasn't spying on... Pindar was...

look, no one was spying on anyone, okay?

I just...

I was just curious what
you were doing there...

hanging out with Rob.

I was visiting his wife.
She's one of my good friends.

He's married? Okay.

Who's the porn star you were with?

- Nobody.
- Hmm?

The problem with Charlie and I is that

we had this start to a relationship,

but we're already at the end

and never got to enjoy a middle.

You never had a montage.

A movie montage? You know,
a sunset walk on the beach,

riding the same ferris
wheel, sharing snow cones.

Sharing the same snow cone,
puking off a ferris wheel.

You know, the montage... the part
of the movie where I go get candy.

What are you talking about?

You're the one that camped
out to see "Dirty Dancing."

- I was a kid.
- "Dirty Dacing: Havana Nights."

"Team America" was sold out.

I wanted to see "Team America."

Carmen's right. I need a montage.

Ugh.

Hey.

Hey, Rob Lowe's assistant, Gary.

Why are you knocking? Don't
you usually just sneak in?

- The name's Greg.
- Oh, okay.

Why were you flying a
drone over Rob Lowe's house?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm talking about the drone
you used to spy on Rob.

I don't own a drone.

Then why is there a
sticker on it that reads,

"if lost or stolen, please
return to Pindar Singh,

2314 PCH"?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I did have one, but then I lost it.

It's called a U.A.V.

Unmanned aerial vehicle?

Can we help you?

Your roommate was spying on Rob,

just like all the other
paparazzi who swarm the beach.

Rob is suing Mr. Singh
for invasion of privacy.

His lawyers will be in touch.

I was using my U.A.V. to keep an eye...

Toxic Tsunami debris... got it.

But your U.A.V. crash-landed
on Rob Lowe's deck.

It was shot down!

I was looking for this
package that I never received.

- Mega ab belt?
- It works, Peter.

Anyway, they said that they delivered it,

so I may have done a
sweep of Rob Lowe's house

while I was looking for it.

You know what?

If Rob Lowe wants a fight he's got one.

We got to get facials.

You're here early.

I like to see who gets in first. You win.

I didn't sleep last night.

- Why?
- Did you check out this morning's Times?

Vanessa Jaffey's resigning.

She was secretly videotaping
the cases in her courtroom

so she could land a job
as the next Judge Judy.

There's gonna be a vacancy on the bench?

Yeah, and I have an interview on Thursday.

Oh, this is the universe righting itself.

You were meant to become a judge, Damien.

I know. It feels that way, right?

I mean, the only question is,

can I survive getting hammered
on killing Judge Dinsdale?

- Oh.
- They'll go deeper than that.

They'll ask questions like...

have you ever accepted
payment other than lawyer fees?

Had any drug or alcohol issues?

Or ever engaged in an
inappropriate relationship

in the workplace?

Okay, and the answer to
that would be an emphatic no.

You are lying.

- I'm not.
- I can feel you lying.

Okay, is this a test?

Because the last time
that I tried to kiss you,

it didn't go so...

Mm, mm.

The walls are made of glass.

I know. Hot, huh?

- Hey.
- Hey.

Wait up.

- What are you guys doing here this early?
- We work here.

We wanted to pick your brain.

Remember that privacy case
last year with Lindsay?

I don't. I'm sorry. I have
to get back to these...

What do you mean, "I got
to get back to... " to what?

What's wrong with you? You okay?

Yeah, I'm great. There's
nothing wrong with me in any way.

- You smell weird.
- Yeah. Like couscous.

It's my Moroccan mint body wash. What?

You just had sex.

- Rachel.
- Rachel. You closed that deal.

You closed that deal...

Please, I did not have sex...

I... I wish. That would be...

- He so got laid. You got laid.
- By whom?

I don't know. Summer associate?
Well, it is the last week of school.

Maybe one last week, one last fling.

You asked me about Lindsay. What?

- Can't remember.
- I forget.

- Excellent. Goodbye.
- Zipper's down.

This lawsuit against Pindar...
it's collateral damage

because of my war of
30 years with Rob Lowe.

Yes, we know... all because he stole

Jacqueline Bisset from you.

Only a master can trifle
with a beast like Rob.

I want to be first chair on this one.

Uh, sir, you know, that might
agitate opposing counsel.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

Well, I just wish we could keep
this feud out of the courts.

You know, settle it like men,

as the turks do with Kirkpinar.

You know, they're naked
except for leather pants,

and they pour olive oil
all over their bodies

and then wrestle in a grassy field

until the first man is pinned.

Sir, it's Bisset you're
upset about losing, right?

What's the plan?

Well, it's perfectly legal
to fly a domestic drone.

Pindar wasn't recording pictures,

let alone intending to sell any,

and it was over public airspace
when he lost control of it.

So we suspect that Rob
Lowe shot the drone down,

didn't return Pindar's
property, which is a misdemeanor.

Ohh! Going on the offensive.

I like that. Wonderful. Good.

You're filing a countersuit.

Yes, Your Honor.

Shocking. For what, pray tell?

"Pray tell"? What is this, the old globe?

We're suing for the return
of our client's drone.

Pindar Singh was flying his drone

under the 400-foot ceiling
required in California

and was doing a service to his neighbors,

scanning the area for toxic Tsunami debris.

The drone wasn't in Mr. Lowe's
airspace, which is designated

as the open space above the property lines.

Your Honor, if the drone
wasn't over Mr. Lowe's airspace,

how did it end up landing on his deck?

So glad you asked.

Your Honor, if we may
demonstrate with a clone drone,

since the plaintiff
refuses to give the original

back to our client?

Can you operate it safely?

Your Honor, I have a PS3
"Ace Combat's" pilot license.

That would be a gaming
license you earned online?

- That's correct, Your Honor.
- Proceed.

And the circus comes to town.

So, Your Honor, this
fan is going to simulate

an onshore flow... roughly about 7 knots.

Now, Mr. Singh was piloting this drone

remotely from his house,

just cruising along the
beach, heading north.

- Here it comes.
- Go up a little higher.

I got it. It's all good.

Now, the drone was in
front of Mr. Lowe's deck.

But then, all of a sudden, it lost power.

Now, our theory is

Mr. Lowe shot it down or disabled it.

Shot it down with what?
A surface-to-air missile?

Bow and arrow? Do you have witnesses?

Would you please stay in
your seats during flight?

We believe that Mr. Lowe
used an app on his smartphone,

the same app that he used to
remotely open our garage door

- and steal our boogie board.
- Hey! Hi!

Your honor, these allegations

are not even remotely tethered to fact.

Now, the drone lost power,

and the onshore breeze pushed
it onto Mr. Lowe's deck.

- Oh!
- All right!

Where it crash-landed behind enemy lines.

Your Honor...

Mr. Lowe did not shoot down this drone.

Your Honor, Mr. Singh
was not taking pictures

of Mr. Lowe or Mr. Lowe's family.

Fine. Mr. Lowe will happily
give back Mr. Singh's drone

if Mr. Singh will surrender

his iPad and computer hard drives

so that we may forensically search them

for pictures of Mr. Lowe or his family.

And if not, we'd like to ask
the court the right to do so.

- We have no problem...
- This is unacceptable!

Okay. Uh... can we have
a minute, Your Honor?

What's the problem if you didn't
take any incriminating photos?

Well, I didn't, but would you
want your computer frisked,

your entire search
history digitally examined?

- You delete your history, right?
- That's what we do.

Yes, but they can retrieve erased data.

Really?

Your Honor, a forensic search
of our client's computer

violates his fourth amendment rights.

Well, given that Mr.
Singh was flying a drone

armed with a camera that
landed on Mr. Lowe's deck,

I believe plaintiff's request falls within

Mr. Lowe's expectation of privacy

and outside Mr. Singh's.

- Oh, God.
- Therefore, Mr. Singh will surrender his computer

for a narrowly defined search

under the supervision of this court.

Ugh. Bile...

What the hell is on that computer?

Stop it.

Swallow it.

Thank you for coming here, Mr. Karp.

Thank you. It's my pleasure to be here.

You killed the honorable
judge Dinsdale, correct?

Accidentally, yes.

Judge Dinsdale was a great man.

This must be hard for you. Yes.

It's been a very difficult couple of weeks.

So let's move past this.

Mr. Karp, how did you come
to work at Infeld-Daniels?

Well, that's a good question.

I had several offers to join other firms...

Several? From where?

Well, Fugate and Towne,
Wilbur, Jenkins and Monroe.

So, a couple?

That I can remember, yes.

Go on.

Anyway, I was going to take
the Fugate and Towne offer,

but then Stanton Infeld came to me

with a very generous counter.

Stanton Infeld is your Uncle?

Oh, yes... he is my Uncle,
which is why, initially,

I didn't want to go with Infeld-Daniels.

I didn't want anyone to think that nepotism

had factored into my hiring at all.

Why was Stanton Infeld's offer so generous,

given that your bar score and résumé,

although respectable,
are hardly spectacular?

I think it's probably
because he knew me so well.

He saw up close the passion
that I had for the law

and for an unbiased justice system.

Why was Rachel King brought
in over you to manage the firm?

Well, there you go...
that is a perfect example

of my Uncle's lack of nepotism.

I've been continually passed
over for managing partner.

So, then you think you
deserve some favoritism.

No. Not at all.

What are we to make of your choice at age 9

to dress up for Halloween
as a fried corpse,

freshly electrocuted in the electric chair?

- Mr. Karp?
- I'm sorry. What was the question again?

Cheer up, Pindy. We found
your missing package.

Mega ab belt... right behind the planter.

Oh, great... my cellmate can lay his head

on my rock-hard abs.

There you go. There's
nothing to worry about.

All rise!

After reviewing the results
of the forensic search

of Mr. Singh's smart tablet and computer,

the court has found no
evidence that the defendant

was photographing or
video-recording the plaintiff.

Therefore, Mr. Lowe's case
against Mr. Singh is dismissed.

Never had any doubt.

Best legal team money can buy.

You guys know you didn't
actually do anything, right?

- The judge just ruled on his own.
- Shut up.

Hi. Hello.

So, why won't your client
get in the same room with me?

Well, theoretically, it's impossible

since he has a restraining order on you.

Then I want you to give him a message.

Will you tell him that I am ready

to settle this thing once and for all?

And we can negotiate the
terms for what will be

our final confrontation.

I'll let him know.

- Good.
- Yeah.

Have a nice day.

- And you, too.
- Mm. Prick.

♪ Life takes you by the hand ♪

♪ But I still hate to see you going ♪

Just friends.

So, I wrote it. It's
"don't go, hate you going."

Sounds similar to Green
Day's "Good Riddance."

- No, it doesn't.
- Yes, it does.

It doesn't... dude, you're
totally messing with my montage.

Get out of here.

Are you sure? All right, I'm leaving.

Hey, it's me. Hi.

Hi. I was just wondering if
you could step on the balcony.

Oh, you're... you're
coming out of the shower.

Well, that's even better.

Hey!

- Hey!
- Dude, what?

I just saw Charlie's
father drive up with Tess.

- They're going in the house.
- Are you serious?

Oh, my God... uh, help me.

Okay.

Hi.

- Hi! Hey.
- Hi, Charlie.

Why does Peter hate us?

- What does it say?
- "Go, hate you."

Hey, you stay away from
my kid. You hear me?

No. No, no. Like, this... this isn't me.

- It's a Green Day song.
- Yeah.

Just go back to the Venice
boardwalk, you freak.

Hey! Is that where you got that hat?

- Huh?
- Okay, all right. Okay, all right.

You mind if I use it as a tip jar?

- I'm heading back to Venice.
- No, we don't need anything.

- We're good.
- I'll meet you in the drum circle.

Come on... on the upside, "go, I hate you"

is a much better song
title and less of a rip-off.

No, you know what this is?
This is an eye-opener, man.

I... I... I don't need this.

I don't need the drama of
a... of a single mom or kid,

a crazy ex?

Look... it's a misunderstanding.

You explain it to her,
she's gonna be fine. Relax.

I got it! Like always.

That was a great song.

- It was a song.
- It was one of my better ones.

It was one of yours.

Ooh. Hello, size-31 abs.

- Pindar Singh?
- Yes.

I'm J.D. Adhira with C.I.B.

Good God... we're both brown, brother.

I expect to be harassed
by the FBI, the CIA,

the NSA, the TSA, but not one of our own.

Colvard Insurance brokers.
You might have seen our bus.

No, I haven't seen your bus.

Circles around? No?

I haven't seen all the buses in L.A., okay?

Well, look around. Open
your eyes. C.I.B., all right?

C.I.B.'s also India's
Central Intelligence Bureau.

Yeah, that's not me.

Can I give you a piece of advice?

Next time, just say
"Colvard Insurance Brokers"

instead of "C. I.B."

Saves a little bit of time, C.I.B., so...

Is this saving time?

- Well, you know, in this case, no.
- How can I help you?

I'm looking for Jared
Franklin and Peter Bash.

Their names are on the insurance policy

of the house that burned
down in Silver Lake.

- Mm-hmm. Come in.
- Thanks.

Our insurance case was closed.

It was. And you each received
a $135,000 cash settlement.

But a new piece of
evidence has come to light.

May I?

This footage was pulled
off of Mr. Singh's computer

and red-flagged by the
court's forensics analyst

in the Rob Lowe case and sent to us.

By the way, does Rob Lowe just live nearby?

Is he, like, really close or something?

- Can we just get to it?
- All right, well, it looks like

you guys have a good handle on this.

Nice meeting you. I'm...

Why don't you hang out
with us for a minute?

Why are you filming all this?

This is what happens
when we leave you alone?

How old are you?

Why do you keep looking at her like that?

Why is this red-flagged?

This stuff isn't even in the top 100

of weird things you do.

Just wait.

What are you doing?

Hey.

Whoa!

Mr. Singh performed this
trick around the same day

your house mysteriously burned down...

June 19th... as evidenced
by the termite tent

over the window here.

Okay, I can explain...

- Pindar.
- Save it.

Burn pattern suggested the flash point

was in the kitchen area,
where this video took place,

and there were traces of nitric
and sulfuric acid on site,

two chemicals found in
magician's flash paper.

Okay. It was spontaneous combustion.

It was the phosphine that interacted

- with the nitric and the sulfuric acid...
- Let me guess here...

you're gonna reopen the investigation

to find out what caused the fire?

That is correct.

Hope you haven't spent too
much of that settlement money.

Pindy, it's not so much that we're upset

you burned the house down
and everything we owned.

Including all our clothes.

And all my baby pictures.

You think I wanted to burn down
my entire Happy Meal collection?

It took me 25 years of my
life to get that together.

We're upset because
you lied to us about it.

Now it looks like we
falsified our insurance claim.

Which means they can come
after our settlement money,

which we don't have.

That's nothing.

They're looking at me like I'm an arsonist.

You have to believe me, I did not lie.

I had nothing to do with that fire.

- Then explain what we saw.
- Because what it looked like

was that you were igniting a fireball

inside a giant striped bag

filled with flammable chemicals.

That is not spontaneous combustion.

Yes, Jared, I did find your flash paper.

But shouldn't you be held accountable

for carelessly leaving
flammable, dangerous,

combustible materials around
where children could find them?

But you don't see me blaming you.

Okay, I... I can't talk to him.

He's... you deal with him.

Why were you recording it?

I can explain that. You
guys know Vine, right?

Okay, so, I set up my cellphone

in the kitchen, 'cause
the lighting was better.

I got the trick shot,
and I was gonna post it.

There was no fire. There was no explosion.

But once the house burned down,
I thought having a clip of me

with an incendiary device
would be a bad idea.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

You have to believe me, guys...

me doing the fire trick in the kitchen

and the house exploding
are completely unrelated.

How should we handle this?

For starters, let's find
out everything we can

on this insurance adjuster.

Tell the truth. No one's
done anything wrong.

What if the truth doesn't get it done?

Then... we fight fire with fire.

Where did we go wrong?

It's the video games
he plays. I don't know.

Greg Baker is here.

Oh, yeah, send him in. Thanks.

Ah, Greg... please, come in.

Come in. Sit down. Can
I get you something? Tea?

No, thanks. I won't be long.

Rob will talk to you if
you give his sword back...

as a gesture of, you know, good faith.

Uh, what sword?

The sword you stole from Rob's study

when he hosted the
neighborhood-watch meeting.

Oh, no. There's some mistake.

Th... this is an ancient Masamune sword.

This was given to me by
one of his 15 disciples.

His name was...

Tom Cruise.

No. Uh, I believe it had
more of an Asian ring to it.

No, Tom Cruise gave it to him.

That's a prop sword from
his movie "The Last Samurai."

- Really?
- Yeah.

Well...

Well, I wonder where mine went, then.

Perhaps it was confiscated at the airport

when I returned from Africa.

Hmm. Perhaps.

Uh, well, anyway...

Uh, okay. Thank you.
We'll... we'll be in touch.

Mm. Fine.

Wow.

Why?

Why what?

Why did you bone me with
the judicial committee?

- Damien, what on earth are you talking about?
- Oh, come on, Stanton.

For 10 years, you have kept
me from rising in this firm,

and then when I decide to
leave Infeld-Daniels-King

to become a judge, you C-block me.

Wait a minute... I...
I had absolutely no idea

you were being interviewed
by the judicial committee.

The only person who could have known

that I trick-or-treated as
a fried corpse would be you

because I came to your house.

Was that the year I
was giving out hamsters?

No, but I remember the year,

because you didn't answer the door...

even though you knew it was me.

Ever since your African epiphany,

you have been motivated to
help everyone in the world

except those in your own family.

I'm telling you the truth when I tell you

that I didn't tell the judicial committee

about your Halloween costume.

Okay.

But a while back... I
did tell someone else.

What is your definition of
customary international law?

It doesn't matter what my definition is.

Where there is no treaty,

no controlling executive
or judicial decision,

it's up to the civilized nations.

When do the questions get difficult?

You know, we could bring
a false claims act suit

against our insurance company
if this goes to the next level.

You think Pindar's telling the truth?

Trying not to think about
it, because if I do...

I don't like what I'm thinking.

Me, too.

Is that our music?

It's outside.

♪ And I decided that I should play ♪

♪ Throw your arms around my neck ♪

Looks like you got your montage back.

♪ I won't be soon to forget ♪

♪ Throw your arms around my neck ♪

To Carmen, for explaining to
me that you didn't hate me.

Excuse me.

No alcoholic beverages
allowed at this beach.

Ah, but what if I have a montage permit?

Have a nice day.

All right, everyone.

I'd just like to say thank you,

in particular to our summer associates.

Thank you, thank you.

And please do us the honor of joining us

on a more permanent basis next year.

Thank you.

Now, the boys here, they
have a few announcements.

Yeah. Of course.

You guys are all invited to our barbecue

on Thursday at the beach house.

- Yep.
- Ah, I never get tired of saying that.

Never get tired of hearing it.

And I hope we've made as
good an impression on you

as you've made on us.

And speaking of impressions,
we are not the litigious type,

so at the beach house, feel
free to press up against us.

You're hitting on a
pack of starving lawyers

with student loans to pay off.

- They're starving.
- Yeah.

- We got food.
- And drinks.

- And beds.
- So...

So... see you at the beach.

Hey, you guys, let me get in on this

while everyone is in such a festive mood.

I would like to propose a toast

to my mentor... Rachel King.

- Come on, everybody.
- Yeah. To Rachel.

- Huh, Rachel.
- Thank you.

No. Oh, no. Thank you.

Because the word is that
you may be looking at

the newest Los Angeles
Superior Court judge.

Whoa.

Wow. Good one, Karp.

Yeah, yeah. It's okay.

What a pleasant surprise.

Well, congratulations, Damien.

That's fantastic. Wonderful news.

Great. Who'd you kill?

I know what you're thinking, Rachel.

You're like, how did I get the appointment

after you told the committee members

about my sleep-study tape,
and how my Uncle only hired me

because his sister blackmailed him.

But thank you so much,
though, for not telling them

about my fling with the
summer associate last year.

See? You can do it. No one sues.

Why do you think, then,

you're gonna be confirmed as a judge?

I don't.

No, I said, if you were listening closely,

I said that you were looking at

the next Superior Court
judge for L.A. county,

and that would be the
honorable Rachel Rose King.

'Cause I'm not getting this
job because she screwed me...

quite literally, on a
table exactly like this.

She cracked me open like a king crab,

'cause that's where the sweet meat is.

I'm sorry. This is your
thing, so to you guys.

The summer associates thingamabob.

So, hey, congratulations,

and I'm sorry I didn't
catch all your names.

They won't forget yours.

Mmm... that is so good.

That is just, like, sweet lava.

Is this true, Rachel?

I'd prefer to stay, but
not unless I call the shots.

I don't see that happening,
so I'm keeping my options open.

As for you, Damien, I put
you in a position to succeed.

It's not my fault you
clubbed a judge to death.

Good night, everyone.

It's been a tough month.

I thought we had it bad.

Mm.

3-2.

- No, no, 3-2... my serve.
- Oh, that's right. Sorry.

You just never beat me on
a regulation-size table.

Uh-huh. That's why I
like playing on this one.

Uh-oh.

During the course of my investigation,

I spoke to a number of your friends,

neighbors, and acquaintances,

and I hope to speak to a few more,

including one neighbor with
excellent bone structure

and the complexion of a newborn,

whose couch you once stole.

R.L.

What do you think of that?

Search under hashtag "we
don't give a rat's ass."

Yeah... on a number of occasions,

you were quoted as
saying you thought Pindar

burned down the house intentionally?

- That's bullshit.
- Who said that?

Let's see here. Yeah, okay, here we go.

So, Peter said on July 1st,

"we got the insurance money... "

From Pindy burning down our house.

We use that money to buy Don's house.

June 25th, Jared said,
"the last house was... "

Composite shingles,

and you managed to burn that to the ground.

Peter said on July 28th,
"and don't play with matches."

He burned our last
house down to the ground.

Charlie.

We were busting Pindy's balls.

Right, you're joking about
losing all of your possessions

'cause you know you're gonna
get a generous cash settlement?

No... ever hear of gallows humor,

or when something bad happens,

you don't know whether
you should laugh or cry.

We're not big criers.

No, Pindar knows we were joking.

And we don't believe he
burned down our house.

Yeah, this is going
from filing a false claim

to a possible conspiracy to commit arson.

- What?
- What?

I'm gonna have you give
a recorded statement.

And as this is going to
be a home game for us,

I suggest you lose the gum, sparky.

We're a great road team. Can't wait.

Not as much as me.

Hey, did you find anything on J.D. yet?

Well, Adhira's company
offers the highest incentives

to their adjusters who make
the lowest payment goals.

But, I mean, it's not illegal.

Carmen, why are you whispering?

Because Pindar's inside.
I found something else.

When Pindar was 18 and living in India,

he was arrested, along
with three other kids,

for stealing explosives
with the intent to detonate.

Why were you looking into Pindar?

I was looking for
something in his background

that would prove didn't do it.

Instead, I found this.

Okay.

So, our friend's been playing
with matches for a while.

We stole fireworks and set them off.

Fireworks?

Yeah, well, what kid hasn't
tied a Queen Amidala doll

to a bottle rocket to
free her from the blockade

surrounding planet Naboo?

You guys had sad childhoods.

It's only a matter of time

before Adhira finds out about this.

You two are the ones who kept joking

that I burned the house down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. He
did it way more than me.

Hang on a sec... Dane Cook here was the one

who kept doing it in front
of people we didn't know,

and now they're being questioned.

This adjuster might have enough

to take to an arson investigator,

who, in turn, will file
charges with the D.A.

And we have to provide
a recorded statement.

This is all my fault.

Charlie.

More fireworks.

What's wrong?

You talked to the claims adjuster?

Yeah. I told you he called.
He said to cooperate.

And so you just told him that
Pindar burned down the house?

I told him you were joking.

No, no, no... don't you know

that they can twist your words around?

No, Peter.

Because I don't talk to
insurance investigators

every day of my life.

Back off.

That was an overreaction.

Little bit.

I'm not liking this whole goodbye thing.

What time's your flight
leave in the morning?

8:00.

Need a ride?

Well, actually, I think I'm good.

Tess and her dad are going to take me.

I guess I should say goodbye tonight.

No.

Because that would mean it's over.

Hey, where's Charlie?

I love when she wears that little shirt.

You know, that's just long enough

so that you kind of see...

I woke up. She was gone.

Wow. She didn't say goodbye?

Nope. Isn't that great?

It's all good. Don't worry about it.

By the way, Charlie said
that that insurance adjuster

has been trying to get a
statement out of Rob Lowe.

I really hope stealing his couch

doesn't come back to haunt you.

What if Adhira's just a fan boy?

Pindy?

You ever met Rachel King?

I have not had the pleasure.

You're about to.

Wait. What?

Get dressed.

Well, well, I finally get to meet

the elusive Pindar Singh.

Hello.

I'm so glad to hear you're a germaphobe,

because I don't like touching people.

What's up?

While C.I.B. is conducting
their investigation,

you three are suspended without pay,

effective immediately.

- You can't do that.
- Yeah, it's not a criminal investigation.

- Yet.
- Some water.

It's boiler-plate I.D.K. policy,

so don't go crying to Stanton.

I'm gonna miss that "K" over the door.

I don't have the gig yet, but thank you.

See you, guys.

So, is this goodbye?

I hope not.

If there's a God, I'll be
the judge sentencing you.

Oh, then there isn't a God.

Celia Moreno got the gig.

- What?
- Celia Moreno is now the new county superior.

The butch, one-armed hispanic woman?

They just decided to check all the boxes?

Really?

Want to lose yourself in some misery sex?

Get the hell out of my way.

Hey. I heard you guys got suspended.

Looks like it.

You still having the party, though, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Awesome.

I have an idea.

Me, too.

We tell Colvard Insurance Brokers the truth

in a recorded statement.

And what's that?

That we started the fire.

We'd like you to retrace your steps

the day before the fire took place.

Did a guest smoke a cigarette?

Did someone burn a scented candle?

No.

It's time...

Okay, look.

I accidentally threw a
bunch of triple-A batteries

into the garbage disposal.

And I know they contain
sulfuric and nitric acid...

And because Einstein
over here didn't tell me

that he put batteries down the drain,

I thought it was clogged instead of jammed,

so, I took liquid drain
cleaner, which also contains...

- Sulfuric and nitric acid.
-... And nitric...

You do realize that
giving a false statement

during an insurance investigation

can result in jail time?

I'm sorry... you're saying we're making up

the story about the fire?

Because times are tough right now.

We're living on the edge.

Is that dialogue from "St. Elmo's Fire"?

- Is... is that...
- Yeah, it is. Good call!

- Man, you must be a fan of the movie.
- Good call! Get up here.

- I'll get it.
- Getting back to your original statement,

are you both trying to tell
us that you started the fire?

If you don't believe us,
then take a look at this.

Oh, oh... whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's... th... that's the wrong footage.

Yeah, this is footage
that our clone drone shot.

- Is that Rob Lowe?
- Yeah, that's Rob Lowe.

- He's coming out of... uh, this is embarrassing.
- This is his gym.

You know, that's enough of th...
we don't need to watch this.

Just, let's... that's enough.

Yeah, but... wait. Is that you, J.D.?

Uh...

Yeah... uh, yeah. Just doing my job.

Your autograph for my sister, and...

Wait a minute. Are you
asking him for an autograph?

No, no, I was trying to get, uh,

a signed statement from Mr. Lowe.

Oh, so you have the signed statement?

Or did you not get that one?

J.D.?

Linda, did you know that if
J.D. got Rob Lowe's signature,

he would have the entire
cast of "St. Elmo's Fire"?

You know, he bought Demi's on Craigslist.

And J.D. also plays tenor sax,

just like Billy Hicks did in the movie.

Billy Hicks played alto sax, so nice try.

It would appear to us that
your colleague over here

has been exploiting this investigation

to gain access to a celebrity.

Thank you for coming.

Oh... thank you.

Can you believe these guys?

Three days ago, this party
seemed like a good idea.

Yo! Skinny-dipping! Come on!

Who's with me?!

Don't hesitate! There's
nothing to be ashamed of!

It's completely natural! Karen!

Uh, it's Carmen.

Carmen... come with me, man.

I'm gonna pass. I've seen "Piranha."

Man, your loss!

"Piranha." "Piranha."

Fish, not monster. Lake, not sea.

Look who showed up.

- Hey! Grab a drink.
- Oh. Champagne. That's appropriate.

So, listen...

C.I.B. suspended Adhira

for inappropriate contact with Mr. Lowe.

So, they dropped the case
against you and Pindar.

- All right.
- Yes!

Nice.

Apparently, Pindar called C.I.B.

And confessed to starting
the fire with flash paper.

Now, the confession would have allowed you

to keep the $135,000 settlement.

He tried to cut a deal without telling us?

He offered to leave the country
and go back home to India

instead of doing jail time here.

He lied to protect us.

'Cause we tried to protect him.

I don't think he's here.

Was he here when you got home?

I didn't see him. Maybe he's in his room.

You know how he likes to hole up in there.

- Yeah. Sorry. Enjoy the party.
- Thank you.

Pindy!

- Pindy?
- Pindy?

He wrote it on flash paper.

I guess the new goodbye is no goodbye.

We got to let him know the
investigation was dropped.

Well, he's probably in the air by now.

Dropped? Was anyone ever gonna tell me?

What are you doing?

Well, I was gonna escape,

but then I heard you
guys coming down the hall,

so I hid in the closet.

Pindy, Stanton just told
us. He just found out.

It's true.

Just now?

Just now.

You were gonna throw yourself
on the grenade for us?

Well, you guys did the same for me.

There's a party upstairs.

You just gonna stand here?

He comes with his own aura.

- How do I look?
- How do I look?

- Oh, my God.
- Stop it.

Can we help you?

Well, well, well... if it
isn't the couch-boosters.

You look so much different in real life

than you do on grainy surveillance video.

I love "The Outsiders."

Dude. Dude, end zone.

What do you want?

Actually, I was coming to return this.

Thank you, Mr. Lowe.

Your eyes are as Violet as Liz Taylor's.

Why would you say that?

How can anyone tell what color they are

when he never looks anyone in the eye?

Stanton.

So, you've finally come to apologize

for stealing Jacqueline Bisset from me.

I did not steal Jackie Biss-et.

That's how you say her
name... not "Bissit."

- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

I said "Bisset."

No, you said "Bissit."

Yeah, the way Rob says it is perfect.

He... he's great.

When we were doing our movie "Class,"

Jackie came to me, and she said that

Stanton never bothered
to learn her real name.

And I saw that as an opening.

And pretty much after that,
it wasn't a fair fight.

Is that my kayak?

Yeah. I'll bring that back really soon.

Don't worry about it. It's Kilmer's.

He'll never use it.

Well, you didn't have to punch out

my houseguest from Tonga.

And he didn't have to
urinate on my surfboard.

Oh. Well, I...

actually, I wasn't aware that...

- Well...
- Well, then I apologize

for dumping all that sand in your bedroom.

Really? I thought that was Est-evez.

"Est-evez"?

Estevez... Emilio. Estevez.

Oh, well, then it seems
that this 30-year-old war

has been nothing but a misunderstanding.

Yeah, maybe you guys
should just shake hands

and make up right here, huh?

Well, uh...

Hmm.

There you go.

Can I get you anything? Maybe a drink or...

Oh, no, no, no. I... I... I'm
sorry. I've got to get home.

I'm taking down my Christmas decorations.

Apparently, someone started a petition.

Huh. Yeah, well, it... it is August.

Yeah, and you could have at
least inflated the snowman

if it's gonna sit out there all summer.

All right, Bert and Ernie,
it's been good seeing you.

Keep that insurance
adjuster out of my life.

- You got it. Done.
- It's been done, Mr. Lowe.

And anytime you want to, like,
maybe paddle out or something...

If you just want to, you know, come over,

throw some steaks on the grill... or tofu,

'cause obviously, you're in great shape.

He just took my ab belt.

Okay... he's never gonna call.

Oh, damn.

We didn't put enough chum in the water.

Come on.

Let's light this fuse.
Ladies and gentlemen,

my partner will now
perform his greatest trick.

His only trick.

That he hasn't nailed yet.

If you need help, Jared, I...

Thank you, Pindy, but the object is

not burn the house down.

Now, anyone can make the
Statue of Liberty disappear.

Or the Eiffel Tower.

But can anyone do this?

Do what?

Make summer disappear.

Ladies and gentlemen, till we meet again.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!