Franklin & Bash (2011–2014): Season 2, Episode 9 - Waiting on a Friend - full transcript

Peter and Jared must clear their name when a former client (Carla Gallo) is arrested for skipping trial, only to accuse her two lawyers of paying her to disappear. While under investigation, the scene flashes back to how the dynamic legal duo of Franklin and Bash (along with Pindar and Carmen) came to be.

Did you order
lunch already?

'cause I don't feel
like mexican.

I don't know.
Maybe we should --
[ clang! ]

T-shirt cannon's working.

Nice shot.

We even?

Not even close.

Bringing toys
to work now?

We've always brought toys
to work.

It's exhibit "a"
in our new case.

It's gonna put this firm
on the map.



Yeah. You know how they shoot
t-shirts up into the crowd

At lakers games, concerts?
No.

Damn near
killed our client.

Sweet old man,
just eating a pretzel,

Minding his own
business --
that's a fascinating story.

I'm just gonna wait
for the movie...Version.

Um, but, I mean,
if you're here --

I mean, I'm here,
you're here.

Tell your story.
Who's out there?

That's richard tafflinger.

He's a senior partner
out of the new york office.

He's also
the h.R. Hatchet man.

Whoa.

Who is that with him?



Tafflinger always brings
a witness

When he brings
the ax down.

If he's here,
someone's getting fired.

I'll put in a good word
for you, karpy.

Yeah. We'll write you a good
letter of recommendation.
[ shrieks ]

Oh, that was great.
Awesome first impression.

It's a hair trigger.
[ chuckles ]

Yeah, take note.
That's great for our case.

Yeah.
I don't have a pen.
[ cannon fires ]

[ telephone rings ]

Hello?

Damien, calm down.

Tafflinger?

I'm on the next plane home.

[ receiver clicks ]

Uh, darling?
Darling?

Sorry,
but...I've got to go.

Trouble at home.

Uh, both of you, I'm afraid.

Come on.

Rene!

Rene?

What does he want
from us?

Hanna: I didn't ask
and he didn't say,

But he's meeting
with everyone.

Any idea who he's after?

Well, I've heard
stanton mention him.

Not a lot of love lost.

Well, he's looking for us
to narc out stanton.

I'd narc out both of you
if I got a shot at his protégé.

[ scoffs ]

Hi.

Have a seat.

I'm richard tafflinger.

This is my associate,
emily adams.

Hello.

Hello.

If you want us to rat,

You might as well
head back to new york.

The two of you are being accused
of misconduct.

We win most of our cases
[chuckling] through misconduct.

This goes beyond
courtroom antics.

Well, it's not like we're
getting fired or anything.

Right?

Why don't we get started?

[ rock music plays ]

♪ ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ such a vivid picture ♪

♪ ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ if I must say so myself ♪

The allegation's being made
by a tammi setten.

You defended her after she
allegedly robbed a restaurant

On January 11, 2011.

What?
It's got to be a mistake.

Tammi loves us.

She's one of our first clients.
Major repeat customer.

When was the last time
you spoke to her?

Oh, geez.
A year ago?
Yeah.

She was charged
with robbing the luna café,

And it was right before
we cahere to work.

Yeah. And she didn't show up
for the trial.

The judge issued her
a bench warrant.

It just paid dividends.
They picked her up in chico.

She's back in custody
and telling a different story.

She's saying that you paid her
to take off.

We...What?
[ chuckles ]

We fight.
We don't run.

[ run-dmc's "you be illin'"
plays ]

I'm gonna get picked last.

Boy: Madsen.

Perkins.

Nah, it's always me.

Blakely.

Moore.

It's too bad,
'cause I'm awesome at football.

What's your name?

Peter bash.
You?

Jared franklin.

It's 'cause I'm short.

Barry sanders is short,

And he's the best running back
in the nfl.

Exactly.
Don't worry, you'll grow.

Just look at me.

Screw this.

Hey.

Barry sanders.

You run pretty fast?

Faster than you.

♪ big mac ♪

♪ you be illin' ♪

[ children screaming ]

Why don't we stick
to this millennium?

You should've
made that clear.

And for the record,
you didn't fight.

You did run.

That's --
not true.

Tammi is scared.

She's looking
at a third strike.

She's offering us up, obviously,
to lighten her sentence.

So you didn't
give her any money?

There's a gray area
there, uh, emily.

We gave her, uh,
1,000 bucks,

But we had a very
good reason for it.

Handing cash to a client?

We would be interested
to hear it.

She has a tattoo --

Actually,
she has a lot of tattoos.

Yeah, right, but this was
a tattoo over her eye,

Which said "2-1-1,"

2-11 being the california
penal code for robbery.

We really didn't think that that
would play well with a jury.

So we called
our tattoo-removal guy.

You have
a tattoo-removal guy?

Dr. Doug.

He also puts them on, too --
quite good.

Yeah. So we called
dr. Doug's assistant.

We said that tammi
was coming in.

We gave tammi the money.

He e-mailed us,
said job was done.

Next day,
tammi was a no-show in court.

Dr. Doug will back us up.

Okay. The contempt hearing
is on Thursday.

It's the word
of two esteemed lawyers

Against a woman
with every reason to lie.

Mm-hmm.
Well, let us do our job.

This should be painless.

I'm telling you,
she was.

Fine. The woman who may fire us
was "vibing" you.

I get that tammi's scared,
but why would she do this?

Didn't you guys
let her crash here

When she burned down
her building?

"allegedly"
burned down her building.

Maybe she feels we put her
in the rearview mirror

When we took
our big firm job.

No, we didn't.

Did we?

Well, we did tell her
we were gonna see her

Through that
luna café trial.

Well, there was always gonna be
another trial with tammi.

Yeah, well,
her hurt feelings

Could cost
all of us our jobs.

Not to mention
three years in prison

For aiding and abetting
a fleeing felon.

We got to see dr. Doug.

I'm telling you,
we should get matching tattoos

Or something like a big dragon
or something cool.

Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, I got a better idea.

We get half of a dragon
on my arm and half on yours...

Yeah.
...And we put them --
yeah, we put them together.

Dr. Doug!
Hey.

You're looking good.

[ laughs ]
"f" and "b."

Uptown life
treating you all right?

Yeah, well,
it was until yesterday.

We need your help.

Well, come on through.

All right.

So, about a year ago, we sent
you a client -- tammi setten?

Oh, yeah. I remember her.
She was hot --

Kind of
a suicidegirls way.

Yeah, that's her.
Yeah.

Well, you sent us an e-mail

Confirming
that the job was done.

We need you to testify that
you did remove the face tattoo.

I didn't.
I gave her a new one.

She said you guys
were treating.

Why would we pay a client
to get a tattoo?

Well, I gave her one right above
her left breast.

That's great.
It still tracks with our story

That we gave her money
to spend here.
Right.

We just need you
to testify, doug.

You know, basically that's gonna
discredit her story,

And we'll walk.

Yeah, I'd be happy to.

Just got to get
her permission.

Why?

She's my patient.

Dermabrasion
tattoo-removal device.

Yeah. The doctor title
is real now.

Became a dermatologist
last year, fellas.

But...You gave her a tattoo.
How is that medical?

Well, she came in
as a patient,

And I treated her as a doctor,
which means --

Falls under doctor/patient
privilege.

Ohh, doug,
this is serious, dude.

Well, I'm sorry, guys.

You know,
it's the hippocratic oath.

Did I hear something
about matching dragons?

It's on the house.

+

Stanton.

Richard.

Ah.
Wonderful to see you.

And what a surprise.

The allegations came
to our attention suddenly.

The board thought it best
I come right away.

Just when I happened
to be out of town.

That was curious timing.
Hmm?

I'll go.
You're busy.

Uh, yes, but not busy

That I won't do anything

To protect peter
and jared's rights.

How's your defense
coming?

Your tattoo artist
come through?

We're working on it.

Good.

We've decided you shouldn't
represent yourselves.

I've asked damien karp to handle
your contempt hearing.

Karp?
What?
No way.

It's not a request.

Emily:
It's for the best,

To avoid any more
"he said, she said" moments.

Which means no direct contact
with tammi setten.

Uh, she's the one
accusing us.

She's also represented
by counsel.

Mr. Karp will be able to
cross-examine her in court.

Notice you didn't pass the bar
exam the first time you took it.

Or the second.

What's that have to do
with any of this?

Nothing.

Only 37% passed last year.

Tough test.

I thought this was
gonna be painless.

Mm-hmm.

W-what's up
with the, uh, secret file?

This?

You caught me.

I'm getting a jump
on holiday shopping.

You seem jumpy.

Should we be keeping
a file on you?

I'm telling you,
I don't trust him.

Yeah, like we were gonna fall
for the catalogue trick.

Dude, you totally
fell for it.

No, no, no. That's what
wanted him to think.

I was --
okay, okay.

So, we're fighting this
two fronts, then --

Tammi and tafflinger.

I need somebody to ask me
a yes-or-no question.

What are you doing?

I have my interview
with tafflinger tomorrow.

You're not
gonna be polygraphed.

Where did you get this?

My parents
polygraphed me regularly.

All indian parents do --

At least,
that's what they said.

Ask me a question.

Okay.
Are you a total idiot?

No.

[ rapid beeping ]

[ all chuckle ]

Ask me another one.

Do you have
an erection right now?

N--

[ velcro rips ]

Pindy.

That's just --

[ velcro rips ]

I don't know
what tafflinger's up to,

But as long as we beat
the tammi allegations,

He can't touch us.

We got to talk to tammi.

Carmen:
Tafflinger ordered you not to.

You violate that,
we're just as screwed.

You know what?
Check with women's lock-up.

See if we have
any clients in there.

He said we can't
talk to her,

But no one said
we can't talk at her.

Oh, you are --
you and I always...

Jo jo!

Jo jo, how's our
favorite forger?

Confused.

I don't have any court dates
coming up, do I?

No. No, no, no.
Just have a seat.

Um, we need a favor.

Here she comes.

Uh, just go with it,
jo jo.

Go with what?

[ coughs ]

[ jared and peter
clearing throat ]

[ scoffs ]
you've got a lot of nerve.

Me?
Them.

Franklin and bash.

Oh. Hi.

Oh, excuse me,
counselor,

But, um, would you please
tell your client that...

In light of her totally
unfounded allegations

That we can't
talk to her.

What's going on?

Uh, we're visiting
with our client,

And you're visiting
with yours.

The fact that we have history
with ms. Setten --

Any trouble
I've gotten you into

Is 'cause you gave me money
and told me to leave town.

I'm sorry.
There she goes again,

Talking directly at us,
and such bullshit!

Jo jo, could you please
tell that woman

That she doesn't want
perjury charges

Added to all the trouble
she's already in?

Um...

You don't want
any perjury charges.

Tammi, I don't think
we should be talking

Any of these people.

You're right.

You know why?

'cause you've...

Got my back!

Whoa.

She's using our slogan
against us.

See, he'd never promise

To stick with me no matter what
and then bail.

Oh, yeah? You know,
we represented your client

For three years,
mostly pro bono.

Or did she forget about
valentine's day, 2008?

If so, have her refer
to her right forearm.

You see, jo jo, tammi broke up
with an old boyfriend

By stabbing him in the neck
with a pair of scissors,

And we got her off
by pleading self-defense.

But the second they get offers
from a big firm, they forget.

They sell out,
throw you aside,

And give you a grand to ease
their guilty conscience.

I-I didn't get any money.

We don't.

I'm looking at 25 years
on the robbery charges

They paid me
to run away on.

We didn't pay you --

Yes. 25 years.

And how much more will I get
if I'm convicted of perjury?

Two, tops. It would probably
run concurrent.

Tell your lawyers
I'll see them in court!

She said she'd see
you guys in court.

In court.
Thank you, jo jo.
We...Heard that.

+

Damn it!

Bad day?

Microwave popcorn
and power bars.

I mean, this is why
everyone hates l.A.

Is threally
all you've got?

If you don't know
where to look.

My private stash.

Mm-hmm.

Double stuf, huh?

Can I have one?

Maybe.

What's tafflinger up to?

Are you really bribing me
with oreos?

I don't know.
Am I?

Okay, that...
Is just stupid.

Um, no.
It's subjective.

Okay. I'm --
I'm entitled --
no, no, no.

Xbox vs. Wii, kobe/lebron --
these things are subjective.

Saying that
"sixteen candles"

Is a better john hughes movie
than "the breakfast club"?

Objectively wrong.

[ chuckles ]

You know what?

Um, I've got to get back
to work,

But you still haven't replied
to our request

For a private interview.

This didn't count?

[ chuckles ]
no, sorry.

Okay.

If you're gonna
interrogate me,

Then I get to ask you
one question.

Okay. One.

Is this why you went
to law school?

To bring down
fellow lawyers?

We didn't do this, emily.

And I'm supposed to believe you
just because you say so?

Yeah.

Something like that.

Thanks for the cookies.

How long have you worked
for franklin and bash?

How long
do you think I have?

Do you mind if ask
the questions?

Shoui mind?

You're making this
needlessly difficult.

Am I?

Or have I just
trained myself

To resist the reid technique
of interrogation?

By turning my questions
back on me?

Maybe...

He?

Is that
what you're doing?

Are you doing it
to now?

Question mark.

What do you think,
mr. Singh?

So...How you met
franklin and bash.

♪ rock this town alive ♪

Whose place
is this again?

Uh, him.
I don't know him.

Peter: He's got himself
a pretty nice setup here.

Maybe too nice.

♪ I go crazy
'cause she looks like a flower ♪

♪ but she stings like a bee ♪

We're being summoned.

♪ she bangs, she bangs ♪

♪ I'm wasted by the way
she moves, she moves ♪

♪ no one ever looked so fine ♪

Bash and franklin,
if I'm not mistaken.

Actually,
it's franklin and bash.
Yeah.

You have us
at a disadvantage...

Pindar singh.

I'm in your con law class.

Never seen you
there before.

Yeah.
Medical hardship.

I take all
my classes remotely.

I developed a new technology

That streams video
right into my computer.

Cool.
Wow.

Yeah. Sold it to a software
company for $2,000.

What happened
to your knee?

Torn a.C.L. Polo match.
Father's estate.

I grew up playing polo.
He plays polo!

Yeah.
What position you play?

I played them all.
Sort of a jack of all trades.

Like a jockey of all trades,
if you will. [ laughs ]

[ laughs ]
oh, but we won't.

Well, if you play,

Then you must know which player
number one is guarded by.

Ladies, could you give us
a second, please?

Thank you.
You're a sweetheart.

[ sighs ]

What are you guys
trying to do to me?

What's your game, singh?

Yeah.
Not buying the torn a.C.L.

I cannot leave this condo.

You on house arrest?

Emotionally.

I have every phobia
known to man.

Plus a couple that are normally
only found in invertebrates.

If I do your con law papers
for you,

Will that buy your silence?

[ laughs ]

You got us all wrong, man.

You've turned your phobias
into lemonade.

You got chicks
waiting on you.

You never leave
your condo.

You're the hugh hefner
of wackos.

[ chuckles ]
you should probably say "ow."

Ow!

Well...

You've clearly
made progress.

How so?

You're here.

You've mastered
getting beyond

The four walls
of your own home.

I'm on a lot
of medication.

Good.

Judge perry: Mr. Karp.

Good morning.

Good morning, your honor.
It's great to see you.

You're counsel
in this matter?

Yes, your honor, I am.

We're here on an accusation
of attorney misconduct.

I've alerted
the d.A.'s office.

If I find
the allegations true,

They will be filing
criminal charges.

Well, we're confident that after
the court sees the evidence,

That won't be necessary.

Glad to hear it.
And what evidence would that be?

Well, your honor,
it's not "what," it's "where."

I'm not...Following you.

He's off
to a great start.

My clients gave
ms. Setten some money

To have a tattoo removed.

She took the money and went to
the tattoo parlor in question

And got a new one instead
and pocketed the rest.

You're free to present evidence
to prove your theory.

Well, the only evidence
is on her body.

She has a tattoo above
her left breast, your honor.

Isn't that right, tammi?

Karp: Please, ignore them,
your honor.

Do they have proof that
my client got the tattoo

On the same day
they gave her money?

Like a receipt
or a tattoo artist?

Does counsel have proof

That tammi didn't get the tattoo
on that day?

Mr. Franklin, mr. Bash,

You've chosen to let mr. Karp
represent you.

Actually,
your honor, that --

That really
wasn't our choice.

He's a fine lawyer.

I suggest you let him
do his job.

For now,
yours is to be quiet.

Are you requesting
that I order a witness

To disrobe in my courtroom?

It doesn't have to be
in your court, your honor.

You can have a female bailiff
take her in the other --

You told me to be quiet,
didn't you?

And yet, there you go.

Mr. Holman, any objection to
your client showing the tattoo?

The fifth amendment
protects a person

From being forced to testify
against themselves.

Yes, and we're not
asking her to testify.
We're simply asking --

U.S. V. Greer holds that tattoos
are considered testimony.

And thereby protected
under the fifth amendment.

Karp: Yes,
but other cases have ruled

That tattoos are admissible
for identification, your honor.

Where they're visible
by the public

And there's no expectation
of privacy as to the body part.

Ms. Setten has an expectation

As to the privacy
of her breasts.

I won't force her to show it.

But, your honor, that's the
cornerstone of our defense.

Then I suggest you come up
with a new one by tomorrow.

Jared: That was good.

[ scoffs ] I had feldman
shepardize tattoo cases.

I don't know
how he missed greer.

Feldman?
He's a first year!

Well, don't worry.
I'm gonna be handling it

Personally from
this point forward.

Actually, you're not.
It's our asses on the line.

And pindar's
and carmen's.

We're going down, we're going
down swinging ourselves.

What, you're firing me?

It's not personal.
It's personal.

[ scoffs ] please.

I would love -- love --
to be fired by you,

But tafflinger's
not gonna go for it.

Yeah, well,
here's the thing --

We're done listening
to tafflinger.

Anyone who represents
himself --

Yes, I know --
"has a fool as a client."

Doesn't apply to us.
We were fools to begin with.
[ elevator bell dings ]

That's true.
Good luck.

Okay, mr. "we go down
on ourselves swinging."

Got to get that tattoo in.

Maybe we can't prove
when she got the tattoo.

Maybe the tattoo itself
is incriminating.

Yeah, her body
is a criminal diary.

We go after
tammi's credibility.

Remember spring break,
junior year?

You passed out
and woke up naked on a raft

In the pool in front
of the whole hotel?

Yeah. What does that
have to do with --

You walked around
without any clothes on
the rest of spring break

'cause you said everyone had
already seen everything anyhow.

'cause I didn't have an
expectation of privacy anymore.

Right. We find a time
when tammi let her freak
flag fly, boob-wise --

And the tattoo
is admissible.

Boom goes the dynamite!

+

Infeld: Oh, hi.
Hi.

How's the case going?

Uh, we figured out how
to show our accuser's
boobs in court.

Excellent.

I hope tafflinger hasn't been
too much of a bother.

Well, not impressed.

He's asked us about everything
except for tammi's allegations.

Ah.

Are you familiar
with the english stoat?

It's a ferret-like rodent.

It's a bit off-topic, sir.

You know, they eat rabbits,
which are much faster.

It transfixes them
in a dance of death.

While the poor bunny
watches, hypnotized,

The stoat does everything
but attack.

And then, when he's ready...

So, not off-topic.

Off-topic.

You know, I've dealt
with rodents like tafflinger

For over 40 years.

Beware of the questions
he doesn't ask.

You haven't asked whether
we paid her off, either.

No.

I don't have to.

This is a casual inquiry.

No reason to worry.

Do I look worried?

I've checked on your work

Since you've been
at infeld/daniels.

Top-notch.

Franklin and bash,
on the other hand...
Okay.

I thought
you had questions,

'cause if you're here
to tell me what you
think about my bosses,

I'm pretty busy.

If they go down,
they lose their jobs.

But you're on probation.

If this blows back to you,

You've got more to lose,

Don't you?

Is that a threat?

Good god, no.

It's just
a friendly observation.

[ sighs ]

What do you want to know?

How someone
with your skill set

Ended up working with a couple
of lawyers, to begin with.

[ laughing ] I can't believe
you guys convinced that jury.

Well, it's a simple matter
of equal parts logic,

Legal authority...

And bullshit.
...Bullshit.

Hey, you ever want to become
con men, call me.

Okay.

I'm going straight,
startin'...

Really soon.

Seriously?
Thank you.

Not to bring up
the ugly, ugly subject

Of our payment,
but, uh...

Right.

Um, so I can't
pay you in cash, but...

[ sighs ]

I got this.

Wow.
That's -- that's nice.

Rolex, oyster shell,

Platinum band...

And it's mine.

Really?
You stole his watch to pay us?

I'm kidding!

[ laughs ]
I took it -- just now.

Look, um, I'm working
on a few things.

Maybe in a couple weeks?

Tell you what -- why
don't you stop working
on those things?

And come work for us
as an investigator.

I've got a feeling
there's not many places

You can't get into.

Ooh.

I'm not really
the 9:00-to-5:00 type.

No, no,
just a couple of weeks.

We got a big trial
coming up.

Yeah. We're suing the
manufacturers of crazy straws.

Oh. The kind
that twirl around

Between your drink
and your mouth.

Death traps.

Don't use them.

Do you have my wallet?

I worked off my debt
in three weeks.

Three weeks after that,
I moved in.

Ever been tempted to go back
to being a grifter?

Grifter?
[ chuckles ]

I think you've been watching
too many movies.

Besides, I'm not entirely
out of the game.

Really?

Any more thyou are.

I mean, you're trying
to play me right now.

How's that?

The early compliment
to put me at ease,

Showing me you know
all about my work.

Look,
you're not the only one

Who can do a background check,
mr. Tafflinger.

Are you threatening me?

Oh, good god, no.

Just a friendly
observation.

Pindy,
what have you found?

Pindar:
I talked to tammi's friends.

No one remembers her tattoo.

Man,
this is our last hope.

No.
There is one other.

Pindar, if you're quoting yoda
from "empire strikes back"...

I'm not.
It's a common phrase.

Okay, fine.
Then what's the other hope?

Well, maybe
there would be another

If jared wasn't trying
to sleep with the enemy.

All right.
Keep looking.

He's...Kind of
got a point there.

This whole emily thing --
it's -- it's questionable.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Bree!

[ whistle blows ]

Hey.
I'm carmen phillips.

We spoke earlier.

Carmen: Jared franklin
and peter bash.

April!

Turn your face-off.
100 laps now!

What do you want?

I wanted to ask you some
questions about tammi setten.

I've got nothing
to say about her.

Well, uh, maybe some of
the players might --

They've got nothing to say
about her, either.

April, bent knees!

No giraffing!

[ scoffs ]

Wow.

Roller-derby girl
versus figure skater.

Roller-derby girl.
No question.

They're totally badass.

♪ rewind, rewind ♪

♪ give me back my time ♪

♪ less talk, less talk ♪

Okay. Any of these girls
recognize tammi's tattoo --

Yeah.
Expectation of privacy.

The court gets to see
the tattoo.

Mm, then we get off.

Okay, I have seen you two
get excited

By the land o'lakes
butter girl.

Have you seen how short her
skirt is on the label, carmen?

There are actual
naked women in here.

I'm giving you permission.

Take a minute.
Enjoy yourself.

This is work, carmen.

Choosing not to
objectify these women,

These hard-working women --
hello.

Hi. I'm corrina.

Yeah, you are.

Dude,
I'm totally giraffing.

And they're back.

I recognize you guys
from your commercials.

[ both chuckle nervously ]

You're even cuter
in person.

No, you are.

I heard you guys were asking
about tammi setten.

You know her?

She was here
four months.

I thought she was my friend
until she stole my iphone.

That's terrible.

Maybe we can get
it back for you.

Do you know anything about
a tattoo that tammi had?

She had a lot of them.

Peter: Oh, well, this one
would've been above her t--

Boo-- breast.
Bre--

Her -- her left breast.

Above, like...Here?

Or more like...

...Here?

Um...

It's hard to tell.

I don't remember her having
any tattoos above her boobs,

But...I don't know.
I could be wrong.

I'm sorry, you guys.

Don't you dare be hard
on yourself.

You've begreat.

Please, tell me more
about that iphone.

It's a serious theft.

So...
Go. Come on.

If you're not off the property
in 30 seconds,

I'm calling the cops!

Hair, hair. Ow.

[ chuckles ]
how did you not get beat up?

Because I am smart
and stealthy.

Check it.

Congratulations.

You stole
a hollywood wheels poster.

Look closer, dummies.
The uniforms.

This could work.

You may have just saved
our case, buddy.

+

That you were dodging
your interview.

Sorry, we've been busy.

And, uh, you already
interviewed me.

That was peter.

We wanted a little
one-on-one time.

"we"?

Me.

Well, then...

Let's get started.

Okay. And so, you went
to college with peter?

Yeah.

Right.
And law school?

Check.

And have worked with him

The entire time
you've been a lawyer?

All I've wanted to do is work
with my friends.

With peter,
carmen, pindar,

I've kind of
got that covered here.

Interesting.

Um, and then
you've never been tempted

To work with your father?

You've heard of him.

[ chuckles softly ]

I don't know many attorneys
who haven't.

My father's
a great attorney.

We just have different...
Lawyering styles.

Well, according
to court records,

You didn't waste much time
getting held in contempt.

It was --
two days after
we started practicing.

People v. Barton.

[ elevator bell dings ]

We don't have to do this.

No one has to do anything.

Well, actually, we do,

'cause the judge specifically
said we can't go and --

What is the worst
he's gonna do to us?

I -- dude,
I just got my bar card.

I don't want to lose it
for some stupid --

It's a courtroom
demonstration.

Juries don't want
to hear things --

They want to see them.

Juries?
What do you know about juries?

This is our first trial.

Yes, it is, so when you come in,
you sell it.

[ sighs ]

Dr. Hinkle, you testified

That what my client,
young colin,

Went through wouldn't inflict
serious emotional distress.

Is that right?

It would be upsetting,

But not anything that would
warrant the kind of award

You're looking for.

[ scoffing ]

A 7-year-old boy,

Filled with the magic and wonder
that all of us are filled with

Until the world
just rips it out of us!

How about a question,
mr. Franklin?

[ exhales sharply ]

Young colin,

Going to megafunworld
to meet his favorite
character, mr. Gibby,

Only to see an employee
in gibby garb,

Head off, smoking...

[ sniffles ]

[ voice breaking ]
smoking a joint?

Isn't that
traumatic enough?

Is that about right?

I said,
is that about right?!

When I suggested a question,

I meant to the witness,
not to the --

[ australian accent ]
g'day, colin!

[ screams ]

Come play down under!

[ laughs maniacally ]

Traumatic enough,
dr. Hinkle?

That's it!

It's not weed.

Mr. Franklin, mr. Bash,
you're both in contempt!

No. No, no, no!
It was his fault!

It was his idea!
It was yoidea.

I told you!
Your honor!

Oh, don't tase me, bro!

Peter: Contempt?

We'll never practice again.
We're total laughingstocks.

You're the one
in the kangaroo costume.

Man:
Franklin and bash.

We've been bailed out?

Not yet.
I got a message for you.

We've probably
been disbarred!

It's from megafunworld.

They want to settle.

And so the franklin and bash
technique was born --

Often copied,
never equaled.

[ chuckles ]
47 contempt citations later.

Yeah, it's only two
off the record,

And someday,
with a lot of hard work,

We're gonna get there.

[ recorder beeps ]

You need to take
this seriously.

And you need
to believe me.

It isn't that simple.

Actually, it is.

These aren't even admissible
in court.

We're not in court.

All right.

Is your name
jared franklin?

Yes.

[ rapid beeping ]

Officially, on my birth
certificate, it's "elmo."

What, like the --

It's a family name.
Next question.

Did you give tammi setten
$1,000 to disappear?

No.

[ steady beeping ]

Well,
since I've been out here,

Have you thought
about kissing me?

No.

Not once.

[ rapid beeping ]

Really?

There's a reason these aren't
admissible in court.

You're obviously
trying to manipulate --

Could you just --

Yeah, no problem.

I got it.

I got it.
I got -- you got it?

+

They gave me money,
told me to get out of town,

Start a new life.

They never told you
to use the money

To get your tattoo
removed?

My tattoos are a part
of who I am.

I'd have never gone
for that.

Thank you.
Nothing further.

Tammi, you say your tattoos
are a part of who you are.

I'd like to ask you
about a couple.

In particular --
holman: Objection!

I've already ruled on the
admissibility of that tattoo.

Yes, your honor.

Her reasonable expectation
of privacy.

But we have someone
who can speak to that.

Your honor, we call hollywood
wheels jammer corrina keller.

Judge perry: And here I thought
you two couldn't surprise me.

Bailiffs.

Uh, wait, wait,
your honor?

This uniform is the one the
wheels roller derby team wore

In 2011.

And the relevance being...

Ms. Setten
was on the team

When this uniform
was being worn.

Yeah.
Note her tube top.

Whew. [ chuckles ]

Wow.

That's completely impractical
for roller derby.

Apparently, there were
wardrobe malfunctions.

I can imagine.

And as you can see,

The area that ms. Setten
claims is private

Was available to anybody willing
to pay $8.50 for a ticket.

Ms. Setten, did you publicly
wear this uniform?

Yeah.

Then the objection
is overruled.

Ms. Setten's alleged tattoo
is admissible.

Can you also tell her
to give me my iphone back?

Screw you.
I didn't take your stupid phone.

Judge perry:
All right, let's take a recess,

And then we'll hear
about this notorious tattoo.

Ms. Setten,
I believe you have a tattoo

Above your left breast?

Ms. Setten,
if you'd prefer,

We can present
a photograph instead of --

Actually, your honor, I'd like
to discuss her other tattoos.

You have a broken
electric guitar

Between your
shoulder blades.

Yeah.
One of my first.

There it is.

And the numbers
12-6-7 on it.

That's right.

What's the significance?

December 6, 2007.

My band played its first gig
at the avalon.

You were arrested
that night, right?

For brawling with people
in the crowd?

You guys got
the case dismissed.

Huh.

And the cougar
on your hip?

Holman: Objection.
What do her previous tattoos

Have to do with whether
the defendants paid her off?

They establish a pattern,
your honor,

And give meaning to the tattoo
in question.

Objection overruled.

Witness can answer.

It's for a 1972 cougar.

12-25-02 --
the day they sai stole it.

What was the outcome
of that case?

You and peter also took care
of that one.

Well, you're welcome.

Now let's move to the tattoo
above your breast.

We have a standing objection
to this line of --

It's cool.

For the record,

My client has shown a tattoo
of the sun --

No numbers,

Not part of the pattern that
they are trying to establish.

Your honor, if I can tag in
for my esteemed co-counsel?

Why not?

I've got this, buddy.

Actually, that's the sun behind
a lunar eclipse, isn't it?

I like the moon.

I imagine the owner of luna café
does, as well,

"luna" being latin
for "moon."

I said I have this.

Just helping.

Luna café is the name
of the restaurant

That you're charged
with robbing.

It's a coincidence.

Like he said,
there's no date on it.

Not at first glance.

Your honor,
if I can approach?

Can I --

Yeah.

Yeah, see, the sun beams

Coming off the lunar eclipse
look like ones.

Maybe to you.

No, there's like
a bunch of them.
Your honor, look.

It's like five of them.

1-11-11.

Do you remember the date
of the robbery?

I don't remember.

January 11, 2011.

Right?

You're still facing charges
stemming from that robbery,

Pleading not guilty.

Because I'm innocent.

Yeah.

It'd be hard
to convince a jury

That you got a tattoo
celebrating a crime

You didn't commit.

Your honor, if I could have
a moment with my client?

I think that would be
a good idea.

Never doubted us
for a minute.

I feel like ice cream.

You look like ice cream.

"krappy"!
What are you doing here?

Did you come here
to dance on our graves?

'cause you're early.

You won?

Frank and beans.

Tammi decided to withdraw
her complaint

When she realized
that she'd be hanging herself

If her tattoo became
a part of the record.

Congratulations.

Your brow's furrowed.
What's up?

My mistake
with the greer citation --

I've given it
some thought.

And, I mean, obviously,
let's face it --

You two are idiots.

Peter:
Wait a minute.

That started off
as an apology,

And then it just sort of
[whistles]

Hurt my feelings.

What I'm saying is that

I would never intentionally
tank a case,

Even representing
the bash and franklin.

Well, that's very sweet.

And, for the record,

We never thought you
intentionally tanked a case.

We know you're just
that bad a lawyer.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Hey,
want some ice cream?

No.

Really?

Infeld: Yes, well, shame you
couldn't stay a little longer.

I'm sure I'll be seeing you
soon, stanton.

Yes.
I look forward to that.

Um...

So, where's
your young associate?

Emily has a week's
vacation saved.

She's decided to stay
in los angeles.

Oh.

Hmm.

You know, the next time
you come gunning for my people

As a pretext to get to me,

I will return fire...

At you...

And whichever board members
you think you have in your camp.

I look forward to that.

[ elevator bell dings ]

On the other side of this door
are 100 of our best friends,

The best playlist
I've ever put together,

And almost all of the hollywood
wheels roller-derby team.

Not to mention a girl who is
clearin love with me.

She's definitely
too good for you.

What are we doing in here?

Well, this --
this one was a close call.

And it made us realize what
awho are really important.

You're about to say something
emotional, aren't you?

We were,
but you just killed it.

Thanks, pindy.

Okay, guys. Come on.

I'm ordering you
to say something nice.

[ rock music playing,
indistinct conversations ]

This won't be the last bump
in the road.

But as long as we are
on this road together,

We'll be fine.

To us.

To us.

[ up-tempo music plays ]

So, you get to squeeze
two breasts before you die.

Kelly lebrock
or pat benatar?

Who do you pick?

Does it have to be both
on one of them,

Or could it be one
on each?

Good question.

You may have found
a boob loophole.